An Awful Lot Of Problems
by MoonStone2115
Summary: My life used to be boring. Outside of my abusive father and dog-obsessed town, nothing ever happened. Until my classmate Earl Ciel Phantomhive arrived at my doorstep, with his 'oh-so-perfect' butler and frankly horrible house-staff.But what I couldn't... Sebastian, stop touching me! I'm trying to explain the story! Geez...*modern-day setting & anime-based (includes Book of Circus)*
1. Chapter 1

**_I do not own Kuroshitsuji (I wish I did, but nope, not the case)_**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 1**

Okay, so apparently we had an English test today. Yay.

Not that anyone learned for an English test these days, certainly not my class, but I would like to know when I have a test so that I could consciously decide that I wasn't going to learn for it. Seriously, I should write this sort of stuff down.

I looked at my phone while the teacher handed out the tests as slowly as possible. I knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but come on, we all knew what was going to happen if _he _thought it took too long.

And, of course, two minutes later my point got proven. Ciel, who always sat in the back row, preferable left, but sometimes right, gave the man dressed in black who stood next to him a sign. The man immediately walked towards the teacher, took a copy of the test and was back by his master's desk before our teacher could flinch.

Other people might have found this odd, but in my class, this was normal.

Ciel Phantomhive, a fifteen year old boy, who also happened to be an eark. He owned the most successful toy and candy company in Europe. And when I say 'owned' I meant exactely that. He didn't have parents to rule the place, so _he ruled _the place. The man dressed in black was his butler, who I thought looked way too young to be a butler (he was probably twenty-someting. Which twenty-year old is so out of options that he becomes a butler for a spoiled brat such as Ciel?). I didn't know much else about Ciel, only that he had skipped two years of school, which meant that he was now in the same year as us, the seventeen year olds.

Most people didn't really like Ciel. They just thought that he was a spoiled brat who did whatever the hell he wanted to do, just because he could because he had the money and the status. Which I didn't think they were mistaken in, but I didn't think that that was necessarily a bad thing. People who take what they deserve aren't necessarily bad.

No, the thing that made me feel uncomfortable when Ciel was around was his butler. The dark butler suit he always wore, even in the summer. The eyes that I always miatook as red, but people always told me they were brown. The weird way he sometimes smiled. The always pale skin of his face, no matter how often that skin saw the sun. The fact that he was always - _always - _with Ciel, no matter where or when. Everything that butler did just seemed… suspicious. And everything Ciel did, too, for that matter. But Ciel was clearly different. He did blush, he did get a tan. The only thing I had never seen, was Ciel's smile. You could say that that's logical, I mean, hello, he _did _lose his parents, but it did somehow upset me.

Oh, by the way, my name is Clarissa Lane. I'm seventeen years old and currently trying to find a question on this test, that the teacher just gave me, that I _can _answer. Which was an impossible mission, since I didn't study for this stupid thing. And I wasn't smart enough to know these things without learning.

The only one who was writing enthusiastically was, of course, Ciel. I was sitting in the middle of the class and looked over my shoulder to see that Ciel indeed was writing like a lunatic, clearly knowing all the answers. The other thing I saw was his butler, who looked at me the exact same moment I looked at him. And of course, being the teenage girl that I was, I immediately looked away from his perfect face. God, I always forgot how hot that guy was until I looked him in the eye.

But no one else in school ever forgot. I knew so many girls who had confessed to him, or were planning to do so. He always turned them down, of course, which is to be expected, since he doesn't really know any of them, since he's always busy with his master. I had heard someone say that he always turned them down because 'he lived to serve'.

I sighed and fought the urge to look at the butler and his master again.

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><p>XxX<p>

When lunchtime finally arrived, I was more tired than after skipping a night of sleep because I wanted to finish the book I was reading. I really, really, really wanted to go home, but knowing that I had still hours left to go, I forced myself to the cafeteria.

The first thing I saw, of course, was Ciel and his butler. Always sitting on the table in the left corner of the cafeteria, which was always the cleanest place. Not because people didn't make mess there, or because no one after sat there, but because the butler always cleaned it up before Ciel took place. I knew that because, one day, I had dared to speak to the young earl and asked why his butler would always left five minutes before the class finished. It was always the class before lunchbreak.

'He goes to prepare my lunch,' Ciel had answered with his posh, always bored-sounding voice.

I don't what drew me to Ciel's table that day, but for some reason, I walked towards his table and stood still before the table, where Ciel was eating his sweets and what not at the other end.

'Can I help you?' he asked, not even looking up from his table.

'Well, no, not really,' I admitted, because that was the truth. What was I doing?

The butler's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say a word.

Ciel look up with a slightly annoyed expression on his face. 'Then why are you standing there?' he said.

'Good point,' was the only answer I gave. I looked around in the cafeteria, but I knew that there weren't any friends who could save me. Because I didn't have any. 'I was just wondering if maybe I could accompany you?' Oh, God. What was I saying?

Ciel made a sound and I wasn't sure what kind of sound, but it sounded disdainful. 'Do whatever you like.'

Wait, seriously? I thought he was going to straight up murder me for even daring to ask. Kind of in shock I sat down, looking surprised at the kid.

The butler chuckled, as if he found my expression funny. Great. The hot guy was laughing at me. Just great.

'Sebastian,' Ciel said. 'I'm finished.'

The butler made a butler-like bow. 'Yes, my Lord. I'll clean it up right away.'

That was the moment that I made the stupid decision to open my mouth. 'Not that I'm against it or anything, but why do you always take your butler with you?'

Ciel looked at me with a mildly surprised expression on his face. I didn't think he would answer. But then he blinked and opened his mouth. 'A King without pawns to move would be useless,' he answered, making me feel strangely stupid. What did the king have to do with his butler? And pawns? What about them? Was ht talking about chess? Why was he talking about chess?

'Aha,' was my reaction, because I didn't want Ciel to think that I couldn't understand him, because I didn't want him to think I was stupid. That would be a tiny bit too embarrassing.

The butler had already finished cleaning up Ciel's lunch and was already pulling Ciel's chair backwards so that Ciel could stand up from his chair. 'Well, it was a delight talking to you, miss… Whatever, but I have to get to my next class.' And with that he left, leaving me alone in the cafeteria, where everyone was staring at me as if I'd just killed a man.

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><p>XxX<p>

When I arrived at school that morning, I noticed that Ciel was absent. And that was really strange, because Ciel almost never missed school. When his company had an event or something, he was absent, but I knew that there was nothing of the sort going on at the moment, so I just thought that it was strange.

So, being the curious little idiot that I was, I decided to visit his house after school to tell him the homework assighed to us today and to check on how he was doing.

And when I said house, I should have said castle.

Not that it really was a castle. Just a really, really, _really _big mansion that looked like one. My god, do people actually hear the doorbell in such a large house?

Apparently they did, because when I ringed the doorbell a maid with a strange purple-like hair colour and giant round glasses opened the door. She reminded me of Harry Potter, but then a female maid-version. 'H-h-h-hello,' she said with a strange voice. As if she was forcing the words out of her mouth. 'C-can I help you?' she asked.

I highly doubted that, I mean, she looked like a pretty helpless maid. But I decided to play friendly today. 'Yes,' I said, putting on my best smile. 'I'm looking for my classmate. Ciel Phantomhive.' Not that I needed to mention his last name since the maid obviously already knew what her master's last name was.

'Y-y-yes!' she said nervously. She opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could she was pushed away by white gloves, who belonged to the butler I knew. 'Can I help you?' he asked, and the way he said it made me feel very unwelcome.

'Um…' I said, trying to act unmoved by his perfect face, which I wasn't. My god, this guy was _way _too hot. He could be a model and earn a lot more money than he probably got from that little earl. 'I'm looking for Ciel.' It sounded like a question.

A fake smile appeared on his face. 'I'm very sorry, but the young master is sick today and doesn't want to have meetings in his state of being.'

'Is it Lizzie?' I heard a familiar voice say from behind the tall butler. The smile on the butler's face disappeared as I realised the familiar voice was Ciel.

The first thing I noticed was that he didn't sound sick.

'No, it's not,' the butler answered. 'It's a classmate of yours. Clarissa Lane, if I remember correctly.'

Why the hell did that butler know my last name? That was kind of… strange. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be flattered by that or freaked out.

Ciel pushed his butler aside so that he was able to see me. 'What the hell are you doing here?' he asked, definitely meaning to make me feel as unwelcome as possible.

Suddenly, the butler smirked as if his master had said something funny. I felt really stupid because I didn't get the joke, but maybe it was a joke that only Ciel and his butler understood.

Ciel gave his butler a cold glance. 'Don't look like that, Sebastian,' he ordered. 'It's annoying.'

Sebastian's smile faded immediately.

Ciel turned his head back to me. 'So, why are you here?' he asked cold and bored. Almost uninterested. But if he was he wouldn't have asked the question, of course.

'I'm here to tell you about the homework that we have tomorrow and I just wanted to check if you were okay,' I said, feeling like a complete idiot. I believe even the maid didn't stutter as much as I did during that one sentence.

Ciel raised one eyebrow and looked at me as if he didn't believe a word a was saying. And I didn't blame him. I wouldn't have believed myself either. Then he sighed. 'You don't even live in this area, do you?' he suddenly asked.

The question confused me. 'Not really. Why?' I asked, still unsure why he'd even asked me that.

'I guess you could come inside for a cup of tea. Sebastian,' Ciel said while walking back inside.

'Yes, my Lord,' the butler said to his master. After that, he turned to me. 'Is Ceylon tea good enough for you?' he asked me, as if I would have any idea what 'Ceylon tea' was.

'Um, sure?' I said, a bit confused. Did Ciel really just invite me inside for tea? That was something really nice. Way nicer than I thought Ciel could be. Maybe everyone was wrong about him.

Sebastian put on a polite smile. 'Then I shall bring you to young master's office before preparing the tea.'

'Okay,' was my brilliant reaction. I stepped inside the mansion and started to follow Sebastian as he directed me through the impressive hallways. I couldn't believe that someone could live in this sort of place. It looked like something from a movie, or something you visit with your family when your mother thinks museums are a good idea for the whole family.

The butler Sebastian was silent as he leaded me to Ciel's office, but I thought that I could hear the maid scream curses sometimes.

It took longer than I thought to get to the office. As soon as I entered, Sebastian was gone. Great. If he could disappear like that, he could probably appear like that as well. And I was really bad with jumps cares.

I looked around the office. Since I was now used to the place a bit, I wasn't impressed by the office. Not that is wasn't absolutely awesome and movie-like like the rest of the mansion, but I was slowly getting used to that.

There was a desk, a grant window behind it so that the small chair behind it looked more impressive, another table and a few bookcases. Ciel wasn't sitting in the chair behind the desk, he was sitting at the table. On the table stood a chess board. Ciel pointed at the empty chair at the other end of the table. 'Sit,' he said, as if I didn't have a choice.

Obedient as a dog, I sat down immediately.

'Your turn,' he said, as if this was a very normal way of starting a game of chess.

'Um… I don't play chess,' I said in all honesty. Sure, I had seen people play it before and I think I kind of know the rules, but I had never played it before. Playing chess is hard when you have no one to play it with.

'Oh,' Ciel said, hiding his irritation. But that didn't mean I couldn't see it.

We were silent for a while and right at the moment I wanted to open my mouth to break the silence, the window shattered. And men who looked like the savages that lived in my village, only dressed a bit better, entered the office.

'There he is! Get him!' one of them shouted. The group men started to attack us. I froze out of fear and shock, but Ciel didn't even look remotely scared or shocked. He acted as if this was just another day at the office.

'Who is the girl?' another one asked. 'She wasn't supposed to be here!' As they grabbed both me and Ciel. Ciel wasn't even struggling, but I tried with all my might. Not that I had enough strength, let alone any of it, but that didn't mean I didn't try.

'Don't care, just take her with you! Boss has warned us about the employee's this kid has.' And with that, someone put me over his shoulder and started to carry me out of the window.

I glanced at Ciel, who was also being carried by one of the men. He looked very calm, almost as if he didn't care, as they started to run towards the car that was waiting for us.

Oh, how much fun this was. First day at the Phamtomhive's house and I got kidnapped. If this wasn't a warning from God, a warning to tell me to stay away from Ciel Phantomhive and his estate, I wasn't sure what else this was supposed to be.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 2**

I wasn't sure when I passed out, but when I awoke I was lying on the floor in an expensive looking room. And, of course, I wasn't alone. At the other end of the room, as far away from the door as possible, Ciel lay on the ground. He was tied up just like I was, but he got more attention then I got. A man was standing before him and from what I could see, the man was wearing a white suit and had blond hair. And he sounded like a complete asshole.

'"_The order of England's underworld_". One of the "_villainous nobles_" that have assumed the bad-guy role for the royal family for generations. "_The Queen's guard dog_" who uses his absolute power to bite to death anyone who opposes her… Just how many nicknames do you have? And how many royal families have you crushed, Ciel Phantomhive?'

That was the moment when Ciel looked up, revealing his face full of little wounds. 'I thought it was you, Azzurro Vanel of the Ferro family!' he said, no fear or pain in his voice. I had to admit, that kid was pretty strong.

'Say, little Phantomhive, it's though for the Italian Mafia in this country,' The man, Azzurro, said, as if it would explain anything.

I tried to understand their conversation, but clearly I was missing way too much information. I guessed this man, Azzurro Vanel, kidnapped Ciel for money and because he was a child, he was an easy target. But he didn't look like he needed money. Neither did this place.

'All these Englishman have tea-encrusted brains,' Azzurro continued.

Okay, that was just hypocrite and so not true. I tried to move, but I was not only tied up, but also tied to the ground, so that I couldn't even move. I also didn't want to make any big movement, because no one paid attention to me now and I would like to keep it that way. Sorry, Ciel.

I looked at the men standing by the door. They were all dressed in black. Okay, so stupid blond guy was probably the leader.

'People in the family business like us have to use our brains to come up with smart ways to make money,' Azzurro said, closing in on Ciel and kneeling down so that he could look him in the eye. This action caused me to lose sight of Ciel. 'And that's exactly what drugs are for.'

Oh, God. I hated this man more and more every second he spoke.

'In the Pharmacy Act of '68 even opium was listed as restricted.' Ciel sounded still calm and composed as he spoke and it started to worry me. Which kid acts like that when he gets kidnapped by such a scary bunch of men? 'The Queen has ordered me to not let the vermin or the drugs run wild anymore.'

Wait, what? Did the Queen, as in the _Queen _Queen give Ciel orders? Or was it just a code name? In any case, why the hell would anyone order _him _to do such a thing? Sounds kind of dangerous. And I think there are more professional people to follow that kind of order.

Azzurro sighed. 'Aaah! This is why I hate Englishmen! The Queen this, the Queen that… You're all a bunch of stupid mama boys when it comes to your Queen.' He started to sound more and more angry the more he spoke. 'You try to line your own pockets while you bind us with rules… But we're birds of a feather, aren't we? Let's get along.' He'd grabbed Ciel's face and held it close to his. Yikes.

'I've left orders for my servants,' Ciel bluffed, still calm, 'to give your storehouse key to the authorities if I don't come back.' Liar. I knew he hadn't. But that meant that Azzurro probably knew, too. Unless he'd told them before I arrived, but that would mean he knew he'd be attacked. 'Sorry, but I have no intention of becoming friends with a filthy rat like you.'

I gasped when Azzurro straighten himself and pointed a gun at Ciel's face. I wasn't even sure where he'd got the gun from, but it terrified me more then everything that had happened before this. _Oh, God, this is serious._

'Don't you underestimate an adult, you damned brat!' he shouted. 'I already have my men waiting at your estate.' Well, yeah, we knew. We were there, remember? 'Where's the key? Spit it out fast, or I'll kill your servants one by one.'

_Oh, God. Oh, God, Oh, God. I should've just gone home. Why did I go and check on Ciel? I barely knew him!_

And then, the strangest thing happened.

Ciel smiled.

He _smiled?!_

First off, I had never seen Ciel smile, so that looked really, really weird. But stranger was the situation. Was it something to smile at? Ciel turned his head a little and spoke with the same, strange smile on his face: 'You'd better hope your little lap dogs know how to fetch.'

_Wham!_

Azzurro had kicked Ciel in his face, making him fall over. I screamed, but still no one looked at me. I guess they knew I wasn't a threat. Just a silly little girl who happened to be at the wrong time at the wrong place. Which was one hundred percent true, of course.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help him. I just had to watch how Ciel laid there on the ground. Blood was dripping down his face, but I wasn't sure where it was coming from.

Azzurro grabbed his mobile phone and called someone. 'Negotiations are down,' he said harshly. He put the phone away after that and in the silenced that followed I could only imagine what would happen to Sebastian, or the helpless maid. Gosh, Ciel's house had been so big, there must've been hundreds of people working there. Were they all going to die?

The silence was awful, but when I looked at Ciel, I saw that he didn't even look a bit worried. Did he have that much trust in his employees? Or was it just that he didn't care?

It was Azzurro's phone that broke the silence. When he picked it up, his face went from angry to infuriated. 'Messed it up?!' he screamed into the phone.

I was sure that 'messed it up' meant something positive for us. But it surely wasn't enough to celebrate.

'You useless fools! This is the problem with scum like you… Forget it! Just get back here!' he looked angry, but after he while his expression changed. Did his mood just change from angry to… worried? 'What's with you guys? Did you attract to much attention?' A pause. Then his face went worried to panic. 'Cut it out already!...'

Then a scream, so loudly even I could hear it, came through the phone. What the hell was going on? Who attacked Azzurro's employees? And why? Were they trying to save Ciel?

'H-hey… what happened?' Azzurro asked, clearly receiving no answer.

And then, since he's timing was apparently messed up, Ciel started laughing. As if someone made a joke. As if those people who were on the phone just a minute ago did not presumable die. 'Sounds like your game of fetch failed,' he said, as if _he _was the villain.

_Oh boy, that boy was messed up._

That didn't mean that it was fun to watch Azzurro beating the crap out of him. It was the first time I could hear Ciel make sounds of pain.

I closed my eyes the moment Azzurro shouted: 'Quiet, you damn brat!'

I only dared to open my eyes again when he sound of beating and Ciel's small cries stopped. 'Hey if you don't answer me right now, I swear I'll kill you guys!' Azzurro said, talking into the phone again.

_Dang, idiot, you can spare the trouble, I presume that someone else has already killed whoever was on the other end of the phone for you._

Then there was a huge change in his face. I thought that I'd seen him look worried, but I'd been wrong. Now he looked worried. As if he had seen the devil, no, heard the devil through the phone.

_If only that were the case, _I thought, starting to wish for a miracle.

Azzurro started to shake, he opened his mouth, but there were no words coming out of it. Whoever was on the phone now, he or she freaked the guy out.

'Woof,' Ciel said suddenly, his head facing the wall and his back facing me and the rest of the room. Okay, so he lost it, too, then. Good to know that this sort of situation _does _indeed affect him.

I wasn't sure if it was Ciel's 'woof' or the person on the other side of the phone, but Azzurro seemed to lose it too. He look scared to death. He put his phone away and turned towards the other men in the room. 'The Phantomhive guard dog is going to burst in here!' he screamed, totally not making sense any more. Whose dog was about to burst in? 'Tighten the security! Don't even let a single rat in here! Don't let him set even one foot inside!'

The silence that followed was unbearable. I didn't understand a single thing that was happening, the only thing I could understand was that Azzurro had gone _cuckoo_. He walked restlessly through the room, cursing, shouting, sometimes kicking Ciel just because he could.

We could all hear it when it started. The gunshots outside the room, the loud sound of screams and things falling. I repeatedly heard the sound of something breaking… glass maybe?

That was the moment that Azzurro pointed his gone towards the door.

We all heard the footsteps drawing closer, but it didn't make me feel relieved or almost-saved. It made me feel just as nervous as Azzurro looked.

Then the footsteps stopped. We all knew that whoever was out there, he was here. Then the door got pushed open calmly.

What the… _Sebastian?_

This was the guy that he'd been so scared of? All that extra security for Ciel's butler? Who was that guy? Was he not just a butler? Well, probably not, since he didn't look harmed in any way. I though no one would get to us alive. He seemed fine.

_Maybe he's not only his butler, but also his bodyguard. You know, secret service and stuff. _

Completely calm, Sebastian stepped inside the room. He didn't even seem to care that a gun was pointing at his head. He even bowed. 'I came to retrieve my master,' he said politely.

_You've got to be kidding me…_ What the hell was it with these people and their inability to care?

Sebastian, still bowing, looked at me for a short moment and his eyes sharpened, as if my presence was unwanted here. _Great, now finally someone looks at me and they give me _that _look._

Azzurro laughed and relaxed a bit, not impressed by Sebastian's appearance. 'Ha! This is a surprise,' he said, and for once he was right. 'I was imagining a brawny giant, but you're just some milksop in a tailcoat.' A _hot _milksop in a tailcoat. 'Who are you? You can't be just a butler. There must be more to you then you and that brat care to admit.'

_My thoughts exactly._

Sebastian stood back up. 'No,' was his simple answer. 'I am merely one hell of a butler… That's all.'

_Like hell that was all._

Azzurro laughed a short laugh. 'Oh, really? At any rate, I don't intend to fight you. But…' He stepped back and grabbed Ciel's hair, pulling him up.

I shivered as I looked at Ciel's pained face.

Azzurro put one arm around Ciel and with the other he pointed the gun at Ciel's head. I looked from Azzurro to Sebastian, but the only response Sebastian gave was that he parted his lips slightly. Azzurro laughed as if he had made the most genius move he could've ever made. 'You better have brought what I wanted,' he said to Sebastian.

Still calm and composed, just like Ciel was most of the time (I wasn't sure who learned from who, but those two were clearly made for each other), Sebastian reached with his hand in his coat. 'Yes,' he answered. He took a key out of his coat. 'Here it is,' he said, a smile on his face.

And then he got shot.

'Seba-' Ciel tried to scream, but he stopped himself from saying anything else. Finally, his face showed fear, sorrow, emotion.

Shooting him once wasn't enough. They kept shooting him until he fell on the ground.

If I could use my hands I would've used them to put them in front of my face. I didn't want to see any of this. _Not after everything I'd seen._

Ciel's face showed pure shock. His mouth, blood on both sides of it, hung open as if he was still trying to scream. But he didn't.

I glanced at the portrait that was now ruined. The portrait I sat right next to. People from behind the portrait had shot Sebastian and now that there task was done, they left their hiding place.

Azzurro started to laugh a crazy and relieved laugh, as if he was scared it wouldn't have worked. 'Sorry, milksop, but I win this game!' he said laughing. His laugh was making me sick.

I couldn't believe that Sebastian was dead. Ciel and Sebastian always seemed like one thing to me. Want one, get the other. _That's not the case anymore._

Azzurro was still talking crazy winners-bull crap. 'I'm up against Phantomhive, the game master, so of course I had a trump card to play!' He pulled Ciel's hair and directed his next words to him. 'I damaged the goods a little bit, but you should fetch a good price, even if they can't sell your parts.' With his gun, he removed Ciel's eye patch.

_A year ago Ciel entered our classroom, accompanied by his butler. We didn't know who this kid was, why he was here, where he was from and why he had a butler at his side. The only thing we knew was that he would be in our class starting that day._

_ '__Greetings,' he had said. 'My name is Ciel Phantomhive and I'll be in your class from now on.'_

_As soon as he said his name, the whispers started._

_ '__Phantomhive… isn't that the family that got killed a few months ago?'_

_ '__No, no. Only the parents got killed. The kid lived.'_

_ '__D-do you think that he… he's their son?'_

_One of the stupider people in class shouted: 'Why does he have that eye patch-thing?!'_

_That was unbelievably rude. I knew that. Most of the people from the class knew that and no one would have asked except him._

_But that didn't mean that we didn't want to know._

_ '__My eye became this way the day my house got invaded and my parents were brutally killed right before my eyes,' Ciel answered coldly._

_We all fell still. The brute way he'd said it the way he looked… it was just way too sad…_

Ciel held his eye closed with all his might and something about that made me really sad. The same kind of sadness I felt when I'd first seen him. The face he made was the face of a lonely kid. A lonely kid only pretending to be brave.

Azzurro put the gun under Ciel's chin. 'No need to be shy. By the time some pervert takes you in-'

'Hey!' Ciel interrupted him. 'How long are you going to play around?' He was clearly not talking to Azzurro, but it didn't make any sense. 'How long do you intend to play dead?'

_Huh?_ He was talking to Sebastian? And it sounded like he really believed that his butler was only pretending to be dead.

'Ciel,' I started, finally brave enough to say something. It was just too sad to see Ciel in denial about his butler's death.

'Goodness gracious,' a familiar voice said, making everyone except Ciel shiver.

_No way…_

Sebastian's fingers moved.

'T-that's impossible!' Azzurro screamed. His henchmen started to back away from Sebastian.

I didn't know how to react. I mean, how was I _supposed_ to react? Even if the butler did wear something to protect himself from bullets, he got clearly shot in the head. I'd seen the blood!

Sebastian got up in a way that I didn't think was even possible. He just… rose. As if he was a zombie rising from his grave. Which would be more believable than what was going on here.

Wait… _what_ exactly was going on here?

'Today's guns are so much more efficient than those from hundred years ago,' Sebastian said, making a strange move with his head. When his head was back up, I saw how bloody his cloves were. But I couldn't see what he had in the one glove he was holding in front of his face. 'I'll give these back to you,' he said murderously.

Azzurro panicked once again, this time he seemed to be out of options. 'What are you waiting for?!' he screamed to his henchmen. 'Kill him!'

That order made them raise their guns again, but it didn't help much. Sebastian threw whatever he'd had in his hands towards them, killing each and every one of them. When one fell down right at my feet I saw that the thing he threw were bullets.

_His bullets. And thrown so fast that it killed them._

I swallowed.

Azzurro had frozen, giving Sebastian the time to check his clothes. I when I say 'time to check his clothes' I mean 'time to check his clothes'. And he even made a remark on the state of his clothes. 'Oh dear, my clothes are full of holes,' he said calmly.

'That's what you get for fooling around, you idiot,' Ciel said, calm but irritated. He emotion I'd seen of his face just a while ago had disappeared. Had it all been an act? Did he know that his butler wouldn't die?

Then Sebastian made the strangest remark of the day. 'Young master, you look good.'

It surprised me so much that I blurred out: 'No, he doesn't!'

Of course, I got ignored. Sebastian started to walk forward, towards his master and Azzurro, who said 'st-stop' very nervously.

Sebastian just went on talking as if he didn't hear anything. 'You're like a caterpillar; it's quite pathetic… and wonderful.'

_Okay, great. I'm stuck in a room full of psychopaths. It must be Christmas._

'It suits a small and weak creature like you,' Sebastian went on, just proving my point of him being a psychopath more and more.

'I-if you come any closer, I'll kill him!' Azzurro said. But because he was so scared, it didn't sound threatening at all.

'Hurry up,' Ciel said, sounding bored all of the sudden. 'His breath stinks.'

I pressed my lips together in order to not scream at Ciel. _Do you want to die, you bloody idiot?!_

Sebastian seemed to think the same thing, he just thought and said it way more composed. 'But if I come any closer, you'll be killed.'

'Do you intend to violate our contract?' Ciel said and his boredom started to change into irritation and frustration.

Sebastian smiled an amused smile. 'Why, of course not. I am your faithful servant.'

Azzurro started to get impatient… and even more scared. 'What the hell is this nonsense?!' he asked.

'Young master,' Sebastian said, completely ignoring Azzurro. 'I have taught you how you could coax me into things, right?' He sounded like a total lunatic now.

But Ciel seemed to get the hint that no one else's could've get. And without farther conversation, Ciel opened his right eye. From my point of view, I didn't see anything wrong with his eye. 'This is an order,' he said. 'Save me!'

Well, until it started to glow, of course.

That was the moment that Azzurro lost it. 'SHUT UP!' he screamed and when he pulled the trigger, I closed my eyes. Dead Sebastian had been bad enough. I did not want to see dead Ciel too. Whether he would really die or not.

'Why-why isn't he dead?' Azzurro said, making me curious enough to open my eyes again.

Ciel was staring at Azzurro, the gun was still pointed to his head, and Sebastian was standing behind the two, holding something that looked like a bullet between his fingers. 'Looking for something?' he asked, making Azzurro look at him instead of at Ciel. 'I'll give this back to you,' Sebastian said, letting the bullet slip into Azzurro's chest pocket.

And then Azzurro started to twitch and I had to look away again. That did not look good. And I wasn't even sure how it was done. I kept my eyes closed this time, not wanting to see anything.

_I just want to go home, _I thought in a whining tone.

'This game wasn't much fun,' I heard Ciel say, but I still kept my eyes closed.

'Young master,' Sebastian said. 'I believe we have something that needs to be taken care of.' I was almost positive he was talking about me.

'Yes,' Ciel said.

'Do you want me to kill her?' he asked, making me shiver and scared. I didn't want to die. I really didn't want to die…

'No,' Ciel said almost immediately. 'But you can carry her.'

Not long after that someone picked me up, but even then I refused to look.

That didn't mean I couldn't hear Azzurro, who was apparently still alive, say: 'Wait! Come serve me. Be my bodyguard and I'll pay you five times the amount that he pays you. And you can have all the women and whine that you want!'

I froze. If Sebastian accepted, me and Ciel would be screwed.

'Unfortunately, Mr. Vanel,' Sebastian said slowly, 'I have no interest in rubbish created by humans. You see, I'm merely one hell of a butler.'

That was the last thing I heard before I passed out once again.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, before this chapter starts, I want to get something out of the way: No, my story won't follow the anime exactly. There are some cases in which it does, like for example chapter two, but that's not how it's going to be for the entire story. For example, since this is in modern day setting, Jack the Ripper has been dead for ages, so doing that story arc would be kind of weird. The order of which things happen is also switch around a little bit. Also, there are some characters that won't be in my story, or will be less in the story then they were in the anime/manga. Grell, I'm sorry and I love you, but you won't benefit my story, and I don't think I could ever do you justice, so you won't be with Sebas-chan as much as you would want :(****. Angelina, I hate you, so I don't feel sorry for skipping your story arc, but don't worry, your… err… other half? will be in my story. Tanaka, I think three members of the house staff are trouble enough, even though you never really caused any. **

**Alois and Claude also won't be in the mix. Sorry if you loved them, but there's just no room in my story for those two. Actually, none of the new characters introduced in season 2 or 3 will be in my story, simply because they don't fit.**

**And I still don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

**I think that was everything I wanted to say. Enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 3**

I woke up in the biggest bed I had ever seen.

'Oh! What a cute girl!'

'Ssht! Master told us not to wake her up!'

'But I just want to look!'

'Shut up, Baldroy.'

'I didn't say anything! It was Finnian!'

'You know, I'm already awake,' I said sleepy. Looking at the three servants standing in the room. 'But thanks for trying-'and failing-'to be considered.'

That was the moment that I realised where I was. And why I was there.

_Oh, shit._

I got out of bed and looked at the three guests in my room. The maid from yesterday and two men. One looked young, he almost looked like he was around my age, maybe even younger, and had blond hair. The other one also had blonde hair, but he looked older and less cute and girly.

'Good morning, miss!' they said in unison, bowing for me.

I tried to keep my emotions under control, but I started to worry. If Ciel and his butler were that strange, maybe the rest of the house staff was too…

I really, _really,_ needed to escape. 'Um,' I said carefully, 'good morning, I guess. Could you maybe… leave the room, so that I can… refresh a bit?' I had the feeling that I wasn't making much sense, but right now, I didn't care.

'Y-yes!' they answered immediately, leaving the room as clumsily as possible. I wasn't sure why Ciel hired them, but maybe he needed to get some new staff members. These three seemed terrible at whatever their job was.

The moment I was sure they left, I ran towards the window, opened it and looked down. Great, I was on the ground floor, which means I could easily jump. The only thing I missed were my shoes, but since I didn't see them in the room and wanted to escape more badly than I wanted my shoes, I jumped out of the window.

When my feet hit the ground I sighed relieved. It was over.

'Going somewhere?'

Or not.

I turned around to see Sebastian standing there, his head slightly tilt to the left and a puppy look on his face. Which made him look more threatening than cute.

'I-I just… need to get home,' I said, starting to get scared as he slowly came closer and closer. 'You know, my dad must be very worried…' Worried, my ass, but right now that didn't matter. It wasn't like this guy knew my father or anything.

Sebastian lifted his head and raised an eyebrow. 'So you decided that it was a good idea to jump out of the window without your shoes?'

Okay, I must admit that my excuse was lame and didn't explain my I jumped out of the window without shoes, but couldn't think of anything else, so I just said: 'Yes, I did. Got a problem with that?'

Sebastian smiled a fake smile. 'Well, no. But don't worry, I already called your father. He said that it was fine if you slept over at a friend's house, but that you nor I should ever call him late in the evening about something so stupid.' He sounded way to amused when he said that.

But I believed him, because frankly, that sounded like something my dad would say. I sighed, almost forgetting that I was talking to a possible immortal murderer. 'Well, then, that's okay. I guess.' I was almost proud at myself for staying as calm as I did.

'Would you mind to go back inside?' the butler asked. 'Young master would like to have a conversation with you.'

_Fantastic. That sounded wonderful. But no. _'Um, I actually really want to go home and…'

Sebastian looked at me with a cold expression, as if he was saying 'don't overestimate my patience'… It even seemed like his pupils became like the pupils of a cat.

'But okay!' I said quickly. 'I'll go and talk with "_young master_".'

I don't know how they did it, but the office that was ruined when me and Ciel got kidnapped was completely fine. The window that got shattered was replaced and the papers and books that had fallen over were restored and cleaned up. I couldn't believe my eyes. Was this really the same room? Maybe those three idiots weren't as bad at their job as I thought they would be.

This time, Ciel was sitting behind his desk, clearly working on something. I guessed it wasn't homework he was working on. I mean, he _was _the director of the most popular you company in the world. Which actually made sense. A kid knows what kids like.

'Clarissa,' he said, being the first in this house that called me by my name instead of 'miss' or whatever. 'Sit.' With his pencil he pointed at the chair that was put in front of his desk.

I walked slowly, extremely careful, towards the chair. When I sat down, Sebastian was already next to Ciel, handing him papers that he then signed.

Something about this situation seemed off. Apart from the fact that those two were probably serial killers and psychopaths, they also seemed completely normal. Just a butler and his master doing their jobs. So why the hell was I here?

'I assume you have questions,' Ciel then said, not looking up from his work.

I wasn't sure if the words were directed to me. 'Are you talking to me?' was the briliant question I asked.

Sebastian chuckled.

'Duh,' was Ciel's annoyed answer.

I was quiet for a moment, not sure if I was allowed to ask the questions I had. 'Um, well, Sebastian killed a lot of men yesterday.'

'That's not a question,' was Ciel's only reaction.

_Gosh, he didn't even try to deny it. Hell, he didn't even seem to care that his butler was a skilled murderer. _'Well, it is to me. Why the hell would a _butler _kill all those people?'

'Because they were trying to kill me. And you. And him,' was Ciel's answer. The way he said it, it sounded logical. But it wasn't.

'He could've called the police,' I suggested.

Ciel made a disdainful sound. 'The police wouldn't have been able to save us. And even if they were, it would cause unnecessary paperwork.'

We were talking about murder and kidnappings and his excuse was '_unnecessary paperwork_'? This kid took paperwork way to serious and murder way to easy. 'You're crazy,' I said.

I was surprised how calm his reaction was. 'Maybe,' was his answer. 'But a king can't win if the pawns of the other party aren't knocked out of the field.'

That remark made me angry. 'Is everything a game to you?!' I shouted.

'Yes,' Ciel said, finally looking up. 'Does that bother you?'

His straight forward answer confused me. 'Um… I guess?' I waited for a while before restating my answer. 'Yes. Yes, it does.'

Ciel went back to looking at his paperwork. 'Well, that's a shame, considering that it is, in fact, none of your business.'

'I could always go to the police. Then they have a witness,' I said, trying to be strong. The butler chuckled again, clearly thinking that going to the police would be the most stupid thing I could do.

'But you won't,' Ciel said. 'Because you've seen my butler. You've seen him in action. And I won't hesitate to give him the orders to kill you if I think you could become a threat. And he _will _kill you. And you wouldn't be able to do anything about it at all.'

I froze and I knew I was getting pale. Oh, god. This was the thing I'd been scared of. This kid didn't feel anything. Even though his butler killed for him, the fact that he was the one who gave him the orders made him just as much a murderer as his butler. What kind of human was he? Was he even human at all?

'But try to remember that I'm not the bad guy,' Ciel said. 'I simply walk in the shadows to reach my goals. The police walks in the light and because of that, they're blind to whatever happens in the darkness. I'm not. I can see everything. And that's way the police should stay out of my business while I stay out of their... most of the time.'

I didn't understand what he meant, but he went on talking before I could ask.

'There are only two types of people in this world. Those who steal and those who get stolen from. I refuse to be one of those that gets stolen from, so that means I'll have to steal. Understand?'

No, I didn't. And from the amused look the butler gave me, I think that fact was written all over my face. 'So, now what?' I asked. 'Am I… a hostage here? Are you going to keep me captive?'

'No,' Ciel answered almost immediately, sounding as if the idea alone disgusted him. 'That would be too much of a bother. No, you can just go home and think about all the strange supernatural things you've seen. Just don't tell anyone.' He looked at me with burning eyes… I mean, eye. With a burning eye. The eye patch was already back on its place.

'So that's it, then?' I asked, waiting for a punishment, or some sort of way to shut me up. Or an explanation. That would be lovely. Or maybe that would scare me more. But hey, at least maybe I would be able to understand why this kid was the way he was. But no. I didn't get anything.

'Yes, that was it. Sebastian, show her the door,' Ciel said, concentrating on his work again and ignoring me completely.

I stood up. 'No, thank you. I can show myself the door.' I'd rather not be alone with that butler. Especially not when he was smiling at me like that.

I left the room and went to look for a way out. And hey, if I didn't find the door, I could always jump out of a window. As I walked through a big hall, clearly the place where the exit was located, my eyes fell on a spot on the wall. A rather big spot, where something obviously had hung until recently. Like a painting or something.

I shook my head. Not only the people who lived in this mansion where strange, I also got a strange feeling just from being here. As if someone was watching me…

That was the moment that I realised that someone _was _indeed watching me.

When I turned around I saw the maid, the small blond guy and the bigger blond guy standing behind one of the doors with only their heads popping out.

'You guys are bad at hiding. I can see you,' I told them, regretting it the moment I'd said it. I just should've left. But that wasn't an option now.

The maid was the first to come out of their hiding place. 'We weren't spying on you, yes!' she said, as if the 'yes' behind her sentence would make her words more true.

The two guys also stepped out of the hiding place. The older one was scratching the back of his head and the younger one looked nervous.

'M-my name is Mei-Rin!' the maid said, as if knowing her name would make this situation less awkward.

'Baldroy!' the older guy said, immediately following the maid's example.

'F-finnian!' the younger guy said.

I smiled amused. These three clearly weren't as heartless as Ciel and Sebastian, but they were certainly strange. 'Nice to meet you. I'm Clarissa.' Then I came up with an idea. 'You guys… what do you know about Sebastian?' If Ciel wasn't going to give me an explanation, maybe I could get it from these guys.

'He's a very skilled butler, yes!' Mei-Rin said, blushing. Ah, clearly also a fan of his looks.

'Very skilled, indeed,' Baldroy agreed. 'But scary!' he added.

That caught my interest. 'Scary? How come?' I ask innocently.

'Well, if we fail to do our jobs,' Baldroy explained shivering. 'He gets really, _really_, angry. That's scary.'

Okay, not the kind of answer I was hoping for. Now he just sounded like their superior. But that wasn't what I wanted to hear.

'There is nothing he can't do!' Finnian said, defending Sebastian with a passion that I could not understand.

The only thing I got from their answers was their admiration for him. I wasn't sure if I should be surprised or not. But then again, I wasn't sure if they knew that Sebastian was a murderer either. 'When did he start working here?' I asked.

Mei-Rin, Finnian and Baldroy shared a look. 'We do not know,' Mei-Rin answered. 'He already worked here when we were hired, yes!'

Baldroy and Finnian nodded. 'But I know he was hired after… the incident,' Baldroy answered and I knew exactly about with incident he was talking about. The one where his parents died.

And no matter how scared I was of Ciel Phantomhive right now, I couldn't help but still feel sorry for the kid that lost his parents. I think any kid would lose their mind if they had to live alone in a gigantic mansion with a strange butler while running a company. That was quite a lot of stuff on the plate of one single kid, who seemed all alone in the world.

But… Ciel _did _save me, right? Sebastian suggested that he could kill me, but Ciel had refused. So maybe somewhere in that deep, dark heart of his, there was still a light burning. Light filled with kindness and warmth. With this thought in mind I left the mansion and walked to the train station, ready to take a train back home.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! School is starting again tomorrow, weekend's over, so I think I won't be posting for a while. Maybe you'll see a new chapter Friday, or otherwise it'll be Saterday. Enjoy the chapter!**

**promocat****: yeah, she has a really sad life, hasn't she? But don't worry; things will get better for her! (only not in this chapter... oops...)**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 4**

So apparently I skipped the last day of school before vacation started. Oops.

I was relieved, though, because I had no idea how I would face Ciel the next time I see him, so I had a week extra to prepare myself.

The only downside was that I had nothing to do in the vacation. I lived in a place in the _middle of nowhere_ and I was one of the only teenagers here. And one of the only women. There were hardly any children here, but the village I lived in wasn't exactly a good place for children.

And guess who was the mayor?

'Dad, can you help me with the light in the bathroom? It's broken.'

My dad made some sort of annoyed sound and said in his low, always impatient voice: 'Go fix it yourself. I'm busy.'

I sighed and left his office. My father had been that way since forever. I thought it was because my mother died when I was born, but my grandmother kept telling me that he was always mean and cranky to her as well.

At three 'o clock I went to his office again, this time to bring him his tea and the mail we got. When I put it on his desk I saw him looking at me as if he wanted to slap me and I shivered at the thought of him actually doing so. Lucky enough for me, he didn't. Probably because he was too lazy to get out of his chair.

I stayed when he read the letters we got, mostly because he usually wanted me to throw them away as soon as he'd read them.

But this time, one of the letters made him furious. 'Fucking… That bitch!' My father stood up from his desk and as a reflex, I stumbled backwards, too afraid that he would take his rage out on me.

He didn't. Yet. 'Sending her people to check if our village is okay? OKAY? Our village has never been better!' he shouted angry, throwing his cup of tea on the ground. 'That bitch thinks she can do anything, she should be the one to be killed by the demon dog! Not my people!' He screamed even louder now and I thank God for the fact that our house was far away from the other houses. But I also cursed him for it. Because no one could hear my screams as my father grabbed me and beat me until he'd calmed down. The worst part about it was that he never seemed to regret it.

'Go clean that up,' he said cold, pointing at the tea on the ground.

As hasty as I could I walked towards the tea cup and picked the pieces up one by one. I was trying to fight my tears, because if there was one thing I didn't want to do, it was to cry in front of that man.

I put the pieces in the pocket of my pullover and left the room to go and grab something to clean the tea up. As I walked to the kitchen, I finally started to cry, but hated myself for doing so.

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><p>XxX<p>

The next day my father put on a suit that looked way too fancy for a day in the office, but I didn't question it. I wouldn't even dare. I brought him his morning tea and went straight back to my room without saying a word. I wished that would bother him at least a bit, but I knew full well it didn't.

I was laying on my bed reading a book when the doorbell rang. Knowing that my father wasn't going to answer it, I put the book down and ran downstairs. I had no idea who it could be, but since my father dressed up, I guessed it was someone here to see my father.

I did not expect to see Ciel, his butler and his house staff.

'Ciel?' I said, more surprised than I'd ever been. 'What the hell are you doing here?'

Ciel looked just as surprised as I was, but he asked a different question. 'What happened to your face?' He frowned his eyebrows and I saw his butler doing the same. Great. Just fantastic.

Then the three idiots noticed me. 'Clarissa!' Mei-Rin said happily. Then she took a good look at my face and her smile faded. 'What happened?'

I touch my cheek, trying to cover the bruises that I knew were all over my face. But I knew that was no use. They had already seen it. 'I fell down the stairs,' I answered, but I knew it sounded like a lie.

Ciel looked at me for a few more seconds before changing back to cold, emotionless Ciel. 'Anyway. We're here for Mayor Barrymore. Is he present?'

I nodded, somewhat happy that I wasn't the main focus anymore. 'I'll shall bring you to his office.'

As I lead them to my father's office I could hear Ciel and Sebastian speak to each other, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. The three other servants however, who were walking behind Ciel and Sebastian, we're talking so loud that I bet even my father could hear them.

'This is a beautiful house, yes!' Mei-Rin said.

'I-I still think this town's creepy,' Finnian said. 'I don't trust this at all.'

I smirked. _They had no idea._

I dropped the house staff in the kitchen and told them they could look for something to eat and then continued the road to my father's office with only Sebastian and Ciel. We reached my father's office and I knocked twice before opening the door. I stood still beside the door so that they could easily walk passed me, because I really didn't want to be up front when they saw my dad.

Unfortunately my father had already seen me. He looked at the guests and then walked towards me to slap me in the face. 'Who the hell is this Chihuahua?!' he shouted, slapping me again. I had to do my best to hold myself still, trying to abandon all emotions. 'Did I ask you to bring this kind of rubbish into my house?!'

Sebastian and Ciel didn't even look shocked. I could say I was surprised, but I wasn't. I had to admit that this time, I liked the fact that they didn't seem to care. It made this less embarrassing and it also made me feel less vunerable. I never wanted anyone's pitty. 'Chihuahua?' Sebastian repeated, apparently the only thing that he found odd.

'Can't you even do simple things, Clarissa?!' my father shouted, slapping me again and again as if my mistake would disappear if he just hit me often enough. As if hurting me enough would bring mother back to life.

Then I saw Ciel's face twitch and then he looked at Sebastian with a serious face. 'Sebastian,' was the only thing he said with a serious, stern tone.

I closed my eyes as my father's hand came down to my face once again… but this time, I didn't feel it. When I opened my eyes again I was Sebastian standing beside my father, holding his arm so that he couldn't hit me again.

My father wasn't impressed. 'What are you doing, you filthy Doberman! Trying to bite my head off, are you? Let me go!'

'I ordered him to stop you,' Ciel said, making everyone in the room face him. His face showed a slight hint of anger, but it was mostly disgust. 'I presume you've got the letter,' he went on, sitting down on the chair in front of my father's desk. 'My name Ciel Phantomhive.'

My father's eyebrows rose. He pulled his hand free from Sebastian's grip, but didn't hit me again. He turned towards Ciel now, walking closer towards him, finally leaving me alone. 'You mean that you're the one Her Majesty sent? A toy poodle like you?'

Ciel closed his eye and smiled a little smile, even though it wasn't really a happy smile. It was more a wicked, amusing smile. As if he was rather enjoying himself. 'Do you not like small breeds, mayor Barrymore?' I knew he wasn't just talking about himself, but also about me. He opened his eye at the end of the sentence, just so he could give me a glance. I could see the picture he had of me change as I looked into his deep blue eye.

But I wasn't sure if it was for better or for worse.

My father mumbled something that no one could hear and then said: 'Clarissa, go get some tea for our guests. Now.' He sat down behind his desk, looking at Ciel as if he was the most disgusting thing he'd ever seen.

I knew that look all too well.

When I arrived at the kitchen, Mei-Rin, Finnian and Baldroy had made a mess of the place, so I asked them to please go and take their stuff into the house as I cleaned up. After that I made tea, only to return to the office, where a staring contest was going on.

When I tried to put tea in the cups, I could see my hands shaking. All the people I was scared of the most in one room really freaked me out. I really had no idea how I was going to pour tea in three cups neatly.

Then Sebastian was suddenly standing beside me. 'I'll take care of this,' he whispered in my ear, taking the tea cup over from me as if they were bombs that could explode any moment.

I took a step backwards, looking at Sebastian as if he'd just turned into a frog. Was he being… kind to me? Or did he just not want to waste the tea? I liked to believe the first, but I knew I couldn't be entirely sure.

I did get something out of this situation, though. I now knew that Ciel indeed worked for the Queen, as in the _Queen_. My father wouldn't listen to anyone, especially not a kid, if it wasn't about a case of national importance.

My father was reading some files that I assumed Ciel had brought with him, but after a while my father put them down, looking annoyed. 'It's not worth discussing,' he said, folding his arms. 'No matter what the terms, I can't sell this place.'

_Wait… What? _'Sell this place?' I repeated, immediately regretting it. I covered my mouth with both my hands, but the words had already been spoken.

My father looked at me with that disgusted look I knew so well, but something seemed to redeem him from getting angry. As I looked at Sebastian, who was looking at my father as if he would like to eat him, I understood what put him off.

'Let me hear your reason,' Ciel said to my father, ignoring me and my father's reaction to my words.

Sebastian handed both my father and Ciel a cup of tea and I was surprised when he handed one to me as well. I wasn't used to getting anything.

I knew what my father was going to say before he even opened his mouth. 'The curse,' he said sinister.

I rolled my eyes. Typically my father to begin about the curse again.

'Curse?' Ciel repeated, not as shocked as a normal fourteen year old would be. But then again, it was Ciel, I suppose I was used to it by now.

My father put on his 'look at me, I'm telling a scary story'-face as he said: 'This village has lived alongside its dogs for years. Those who interfere shall face the curse and its consequences. Even Her Majesty can't change the horrible things that happen here.' My father had stood up during his speech and even looked a bit proud. He was sure he'd scared the kid of by now.

But he didn't know Ciel Phantomhive. 'Oh. How interesting,' was Ciel's reaction.

My father frowned, angry again. 'What?!'

Ciel folded his hands together above the table. 'Let's have a long, nice look at this village and its so called 'curse',' Ciel said, amused but unimpressed by my father's scary story. I almost laughed. My father did have to do a lot better than that if he wanted to scare emotionless Earl Ciel Phantomhive away.

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><p>XxX<p>

Ciel and his staff slept in the spare rooms on the ground floor and because of the sudden guests, I thought I would have a problem with cooking dinner tonight. Lucky enough for me, Sebastian had brought food so that I didn't have to go into town to buy extra food. He even asked me if he could help prepare the food. But the way he said it made it clear that he was only giving me the impression that I had a choice, when I actually didn't have one.

We were silent as we cooked, both barely said a word. I didn't say anything because A, I still didn't trust the guy (he _was _a murderer, that hadt changed) and B, because I didn't really have anything to say.

When the silence was broken, it wasn't me, but Sebastian. 'Mayor Barrymore is your father, correct?' he asked as he took the chicken out of the oven. I wasn't surprised when he didn't use the oven gloves. I started to think he was indestructible.

'Yes,' I answered, clearly not happy with the answer. 'Yes, he is.'

Sebastian was silent for a moment, but then opened his mouth once again. 'Does he always… abuse you?'

I was surprised when my mouth opened to answer his question. I had no obligation to do so, but I still did. 'Not always. Only when he's angry, or sad, or drunk.' I frowned. There were barely any moments when he wasn't at least one of those things.

'That doesn't sound like a healthy father-daughter relationship,' was his reaction.

'No shit, Sherlock,' I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

'Don't you ever think about… running away?' he asked as he started to cut the chicken.

I shrugged, still not sure why I was talking with this guy so naturally and normally. Where had my sences gone? But I had to admit that - even though this conversation hadn't been going on for long - I quite liked talking to this murderer. 'Of course I do think about what.' I sighed. 'But I won't.'

That surprised him. He looked at me with a confused look and I must saying; that look was priceless. 'Why not? I really don't think that a young woman such as yourself will have a bright future here. Don't you hate that man? Don't you wish he was dead?'

I looked at him in horror. What? Was he offering to kill him for me? 'No!' I almost screamed the word. 'Of course not!'

Now Sebastian looked like I just turned into a unicorn and was singing _God Save The Queen_ while dancing around wearing a dress made of children's' hands. 'Why not?'

'Because he's my father! No matter what he does to me, that won't change!' I only noticed that I was screaming when I could hear the dogs from the village bark. I knew I shouldn't leave the window in the kitchen open. That the villagers couldn't hear didn't mean the dogs couldn't.

Sebastian looked at me with a look of fascination in his eyes, as if he couldn't believe I was real.

'What?' I asked when he didn't stop looking at me with that strange look in his eyes. 'Why are you staring at me?'

'So pure,' he said softly, even his eyes seemed to change shape. For I second I thought his eyes looked like cat-eyes, with slit pupils and all. But it must have been my imagination, because my whole body was a mess. I could feel my heart flutter in my chest as he looked at me like that. _God, he was so hot…_

_Clarissa, snap out of it! Serial killer, remember? _I resisted the urge to slap myself in the face and shook my head, trying to focus on something else.

That also brought Sebastian out of his thoughts. I thought I could hear him mumble: 'So pure. And so… disgusting,' but I wasn't sure. I hoped that wasn't what he said, because my picture of him was just changing for the better.

I remembered what Ciel said a few days ago. '_Those who steal and those who get stolen from_'. Maybe Sebastian and Ciel were just a bit too extreme in staying on the good side of faith, but did that make them bad? _Maybe Ciel has a good reason for hiring such a talented killer as Sebastian. Maybe it has something to do with his parents…_

His parents.

Oh. I suddenly understood why Ciel didn't care when Sebastian murdered every single one of the kidnappers. '_Don't you hate that man? Don't you wish he was dead?_' Sebastian had asked me. And maybe I didn't hate my father, but that didn't mean that Ciel didn't hate the people who murdered his parents. A child with a heart full of hatred… No wonder Ciel was the way he was. Now there was only one question I had to ask myself.

Could I forgive him for what - _who_ - he was?

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><p>XxX<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, just as I said, my story won't follow the manga, so don't hate me! Somewhere in this chapter the story will take a different route then the anime did. I'm glad I could update today, I hate having no time to write. Thank you all for reading/reviewing!**

**Oh, and BTW: I don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 5**

'Sebastian, you've been acting strange ever since dinner,' Ciel said, not looking up from his book.

A smile crossed the butler's face. 'So it would seem,' was his vague answer.

'It has something to do with Barrymore's daughter, hasn't it?' Ciel then said, knowing it was true. He did not need to ask.

'Perhaps,' Sebastian answered.

'Sebastian,' Ciel said sharp, almost as if he ordered Sebastian to do something. He would order him to answer if he had to and Sebastian knew that.

'I was just thinking about how absolutely delicious Clarissa would be if I broke her,' Sebastian said. 'Her pureness, her honesty. It's a quite extraordinary soul for a human soul. Once broken, the black void filling her heart and mind will consume her soul. A soul that's so desirable for someone – no, some_thing _like me.'

'Are you saying that you consider breaking our contract so that you could lure her into making one with you?' Ciel asked, not really interested.

'Perhaps,' Sebastian answered amused, only half-joking.

Ciel accidentally dropped the book he was reading as he heard that. He looked at Sebastian with fear on his face. Sebastian couldn't leave him. Not before he got his revenge! He was this close to getting angry, but footsteps in the corridor made him pick up the book again. While he opened it on a random page and continued reading, he tried to calm down and keep the thoughts about being left alone again out of his head.

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><p><em>XxX<em>

_Clarissa's POV_

'Come in,' I heard Ciel say through the door before I even had the chance to knock.

I tried to look calm and composed as I walked in, but I knew that there was a look of fear still in my eyes. And there was a lot both Ciel and Sebastian had to do to make that disappear completely. But I didn't even know if they wanted it to disappear or not. Ciel seemed like the kind of person who was rather feared than loved.

'I apologize for the lateness of the hour.' _Not, _but I wasn't going to say that to a fourteen year old Earl who was presumably a psycho, sociopath or just an ordinary murder. As far as 'ordinary' goes for murders.

Sebastian looked at me with a strange look, as if he was trying to read my mind. 'My master was just about to head to bed, so if you don't mind-'

'Please leave,' I said, completely ignoring Sebastian. I heard the despair in my voice, but I didn't care. 'You mustn't be here.'

Ciel was sitting in the big chair in the guest room and reading a book. I wasn't sure he'd heard me until he said 'and why not?' without looking up. Gee, that guy really had a problem with looking people in the eye, hadn't he?

I opened my mouth to answer, but then I remembered what my father had said the night I found out. I couldn't tell Ciel. My father would kill me. And I'd rather die at the gloved hands of Sebastian then the hands of my own father. Because, in the end, he was still my father. And also, I didn't think that Ciel would order Sebastian to kill me over something like this… 'I can't…' I started, but then the familiar sound of a dogs howling told me that it was already too late.

I shivered as the howling went on, didn't want to hear, didn't want the know. I heard a soft scream leaving my throat and I put my hands over my ears, didn't want to hear the dog nor my own screams. I wanted to block everything - the whole world - out. _Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop._

'Clarissa!' I heard Ciel and for the first time since I'd met him, he actually sounded truly worried. Not politely worried or worried because the situation asked him to be worried, but worried as if he was worried about _me. _As if he actually gave a damn.

That gave me courage. 'It's not what you think,' I said, shivering and trembling with fear. 'The demon hound-' I stopped, because the barking had stopped. And I knew what that meant.

Ciel, on the other hand, didn't. 'Demon hound?' he asked, not as confused as you'd think he would be.

I closed my eyes for a while. Now I had to go play my part. I had no time to explain everything. I had to leave. Right now. 'Just…' I wasn't sure what to say. 'Just come with me.'

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><p>XxX<p>

As we walked through the town, you could hear the people of the village talk. They were leaving there houses this late in the evening, only to go search for the bad dog.

As we walked through the town, I explained: 'The villagers believe that this town is cursed. Those who cannot live with the dogs, or are treating them in a way that is against the ways of the village, will be punished by the demon dog. The ones to get punished by the demon hound are called 'the bad dogs of the village'. These people are usually brutally murdered.' I shone my flashlight upon the path we walked, but it wasn't really needed. The street lights lighted the whole town.

'You talk about this "demon hound" as if you don't think he's the one who murders the villagers,' Ciel said, as observant as always.

I considered it for a while, but then decided that I could just tell him the truth, considering that if I didn't, he would probably figure it out on his own. 'That's because I know he isn't.'

'What?' Ciel said, frowning. But I knew that it wouldn't take long before either his butler or him found out. And I wasn't sure if I should be happy about that or not.

I heard people scream and the most screamed question was: 'Who's been punished?!' I closed my eyes for a second. We were about to find out.

We left the light of the village and walked up to the hill that made our village invisible for travellers. Unless you were close enough, you wouldn't be able to find it. And on this hill was a wall. An left-over wall from the times that there was a wall protecting the once big village. Now it was just a pile of bricks that sort of looked like a wall.

It was also the place where the 'demon hound' brought the 'bad dogs' to kill them.

There lay a young man in the mud. I didn't know him and I didn't care that he was dead, but I did care that he was _murdered._ His clothes were ripped and he had bite marks – _fake _bite marks – all over his body. For any stupid person it would be obvious enough. This man was slayed by a beast.

People gathered around me as I walked towards the corpse. I had been the 'priestess' of this village for a while now. The one that had to confirm that this was indeed the demon hound's work. In reality, it was just a cover up. A way to get more time so that my father could-

'So James was the bad dog,' I heard my father say. He was standing behind me and the look of sadness and grieve on his face looked almost real. But I knew that it wasn't.

'Yes,' I heard a woman from the village say. 'I heard that he had a sixth dog. I tried to tell him that he wasn't allowed to have more than five, but he wouldn't listen to me. And now it's too late.'

My father closed his eyes, pretended to grieve. I even thought that he was going to cry, but my father wasn't _that _good of an actor. 'I see. Then this was inevitable.'

'That's awful,' I heard Baldroy say. I didn't even know the house staff had followed us, but I could hear Finnian and Mei-Rin mumble something, clearly agreeing to Baldroy's remark.

Ciel pushed my father aside so that he could walk closer to the corpse. He even sat down to observe the wounds up close. 'I see,' he said and I knew from those two words that he already understood. He knew what was going on. It didn't surprise me. What _did _surprise me that this fourteen-year old could look at such a hideous corpse and be so calm about it. Then again, he _was_ a murderer, so I really shouldn't have been surprised.

'Don't touch!' my father then screamed, immediately alarmed by the way Ciel was looking at the corpse. Immediately scared that he would get caught. 'This village has laws and those who don't follow the rules will be punished by the demon hound that protects this town!'

I hated this moment of such a night as this one, in which all the villagers just nodded. They were completely brainwashed. But who could blame them? Sometimes I thought I would lose my mind, living in such a strange and messed up place somewhere in the _middle of nowhere_.

Me, Ciel, Sebastian and the remaining Phantomhive house staff could only watch while James was carried away by two men, who were immediately followed by the villagers, who walked after by father while parying soft prayers. We just stood still in the mud in the night and I closed my eyes, trying to get this mental picture out of my head and move on. There was nothing I could do about it. The only thing I had to do was forget and move on.

I could feel Ciel looking at me even with my eyes closed. 'I see,' he said again, but I was sure that this time he wasn't talking about the demon hound, but about me.

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><p>XxX<p>

The next morning, we had breakfast in the large dining room that we almost never used. But the house staff wasn't in such high spirits the next morning.

'What a horrible trip,' Baldroy said as I put the bread on the table. Sebastian was in the kitchen to make breakfast for Ciel, who had 'very specific preferences', as Sebastian had said it. I doubted Ciel was even awake yet. He didn't seem like a morning person to me.

'Yes, yes,' Mei-Rin agreed, looking down at the table.

'What's the matter?' I asked, trying to find a way to cheer them up. I did understand their mood, but I also knew that they had been in such high spirits yesterday. I wanted that energy again. It somehow made me… happy.

'Well, we came here thinking this was some sort of vacation,' Baldroy explained.

'But there's nothing fun here,' Finnian said, finishing Baldroy's line.

'And that horrible demon hound!' Mei-Rin added.

I smiled a sad smile, had no idea what I could do to cheer them up. That didn't mean I didn't try. 'We have a swimming pool in the garden, if that's something you guys are interested in,' I told them.

And the smiles that appeared on their faces told me that that was enough to cheer them up.

After I cleaned up the kitchen and the dining room, my father went back to his office and the house staff went to enjoy the pool. Ciel was up and about by then and he sat down at the side of the pool in one of the big wooden chairs. He had his laptop on his lap and was looking at something that seemed to interest him deeply. Sebastian was standing beside him and both obviously weren't planning on getting into the water.

I went to sit next to Ciel with my own laptop so that I could start doing homework, but the loud screaming from the three idiots in the pool made it almost impossible to concentrate.

'Do you need the WiFi-passcode?' I asked Ciel when I gave up on making homework and closed my laptop.

Ciel clicked on something that I couldn't see and said: 'Your father seems way too out-dated to install a WiFi network, which means the network and its password was yours. It took me about ten minutes to guess what the password was.'

I frowned. My password was the name of my mother. I really didn't know how Ciel could know the name of my mother. Unless his butler had done some stalking again and stole my birth certificate… Wait, now that I thought about it, that actually wasn't a bad explanation. With everything that was going on, it certainly wouldn't surprise me.

'Don't you want to swim, Ciel?' I asked him and judging from the look Sebastian gave me it was something that he'd wanted to ask as well. Well, too bad for him, because I asked it first.

'Dull,' was the only thing he said. Then he closed his laptop and looked up at Sebastian. 'About the true form of the demon hound,' he said, 'I wanted to ask you something.' He made a move with his hand that meant that he wanted Sebastian to lean over, so he could whisper in his ear.

Oh, great. So _he _didn't trust _me?_ I had done nothing to him that could made him doubt me. _He _on the other hand, had done more than enough…

'Clarissa!' I heard the three members of the house staff scream.

I looked over at them, which made me lose focus of Ciel and Sebastian. Not that I could hear what Ciel was saying anyway, but I was still trying to get something out of it. I waved at the three before looking back and Ciel and his butler.

But their conversation had already ended. 'Yes, my Lord, I shall do it right away,' Sebastian said, his hand on his chest. He then straighten himself and walked away.

But Ciel stopped him before he could get far. 'You're awfully motivated today. I thought you hated dogs?'

'Yes, I do. That's why I want to leave this place as soon as possible.' When Sebastian said that he didn't look at Ciel, but at me. As if he was saying that_ I _was the reason he wanted to leave as soon as possible.

This time I didn't hold back. 'Oh, don't go looking at me as if this is my fault, because that is total bullshit,' I let him know.

Sebastian completely ignored my remark and looked at Ciel: 'This should end before everything goes to hell.'

Ciel laugh a short, cynical laugh. 'You think you're funny, don't you?' he asked his butler.

Sebastian only smiled in response.

'Leave,' Ciel said, suddenly angry.

'Yes, my Lord.' Sebastian bowed one last time and then left the garden silently and gracefully.

I sighed. 'Is that a thing your guys do? Like a running gag or something?' I asked Ciel, sounding tired for some reason.

'Huh?' Ciel said confused, frowning as if I'd said something in a different language.

I pulled up an eyebrow. '_One hell of a butler, going to hell, what the hell?_ The hell puns are kind of obvious.'

Ciel looked at me as if he thought I was stupid and genius at the same time. 'I guess. It's more Sebastian's thing, though.'

'Ah,' was my only reaction. I guess it made sense that a murderer like him would have some connection to hell…

The nice little moment was ruined by the sound of the church clock. I sighed, knowing this meant that the villagers were going to celebrate as they burned James' body. I never attended. Neither did my father.

'It's time,' Ciel said softly.

I frowned, looking down at him as I stand up. 'You knew about this?' I asked surprised and confused. I was sure neither my father nor I had told him about it.

Ciel shook his head. 'No. But I can hear the villagers gathering. If we are to take out mayor Barrymore, it's best to do it now.'

I froze when he said the words. _Take out mayor Barrymore. _Maybe if he was from the police I wouldn't have worried, but I knew Ciel and his methods by now and was almost sure that 'taking out' meant killing him.

Well, at least he was honest about it.

'I'm sorry, Clarissa, but your father is someone that I will have no mercy for. Not only does he kill innocent people, he also hurts you, his own daughter.' Ciel stood up, leaving his laptop on the wooden chair and walked towards the door of the house, that was left open so that we could leave and enter the garden easily.

I followed Ciel, but didn't really say anything. What could I say? I was quite sure that I couldn't convince him _not_ to kill my father. I wasn't even sure I wanted to.

As soon as we walked into the dining room, Ciel got attacked. I saw how my father grabbed his hair and pulled the boy close. I could also see that he had a knife in his hands. And he was now putting that at Ciel's throat.

I would have worried accept the fact that I knew that Ciel was kind of used to it by now and obviously really didn't care.

But then I saw Sebastian standing there, not even looking at his master. He just looked at me, his head was tilted to the right a little bit, his eyes narrowed, as if he was trying to understand me.

No, not trying to understand me. He was testing me.

'How do you like that, _Earl?_' my father said coldly. 'I can't let you leave now. If I do, you will run to your Queen and tell her all about the real identity of the demon hound.'

'Sebastian!' Ciel said and I thought I could see the panic in his eye. Panic? Did Ciel Phantomhive even_know _that emotion?

'Yes, my Lord?' Sebastian said, still staring at me.

'Help me!' he said and I could hear in his voice that, this time, he actually was scared. 'Don't look at her, help me! You have a contract with me!'

'Sebastian!' Even I now started to beg him for help. Even though I wasn't a huge fan of him, I didn't want Ciel to die. Certainly not by my father's hands. 'What are you doing? HELP HIM!'

But Sebastian didn't move. He only said: 'Helping him would mean killing your father. Is that something you want, Clarissa _Barrymore_?' he asked, using my father's last name instead of mine, the same as my mother's.

I shivered. 'No, of course not,' I answered in all honesty. 'But if one of those two has to die, it's my father.' He was older, after all. And he never helped me, never cared for me. Ciel tried to give me the idea that he didn't too, but I wasn't easily fooled.

Sebastian looked at me as if he wanted me dead more than he wanted my father dead. 'But you won't kill him yourself, will you?' he asked.

My father now started to laugh. 'My own daughter kill me? She can't even scream when I hit her! Hell, she doesn't even have the guts to leave me!'

Gosh, even my dad made Hell-puns now. What was that with the men in my life and their psycho-ness and their inability to stay away from the word 'hell'?

Sebastian walked up to me and handed me something. 'I refuse to decide for someone like you, always depending on someone else to make the tough choices. You'll make the choice.'

I frowned and looked at what he handed me, since it didn't feel familiar in my hands at all. I froze when I saw what it was.

Sebastian had given me a gun.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Cliff-hanger (sorry)!**

**I wasn't really happy with this chapter, but I think it worked out fine in the end. I'll try to update tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I'll make it. **


	6. Chapter 6

***I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 6**

I was still trying you figure out what was going on. I had a gun in my hands, which was weird. My father was holding a knife against Ciel's throat, which was strange, but less strange then the butler, who was just sitting on the dining table and watching us as if we were his favourite tv-show.

'Father, let him go,' I tried, knowing that my father had not only gone mad. He was also drunk.

'No! I will go to prison!' he screamed and I could see the blood dripping from Ciel's neck as my father tighten his grip on the knife.

'You're letting her decide,' Ciel said and I could hear the disgust and shock in his voice.

'Yes,' Sebastian answered. 'Because the outcome will always be positive for me.' A smile crossed his face.

'You're not supposed to break the contract!' Ciel screamed and I could see his fear and despair starting to show.

'And what exactly are you going to do about that?' Sebastian asked calmly. 'You can't run from the contract. I can.' A smile crossed his face as he pointed at his right eye.

Ciel tried to stay calm, but we all could see that that wasn't working out for him. 'A seal close to the eye makes it impossible to run from the devil,' he said and I kind of sounded like he was quoting the bible.

Sebastian just smiled a creepy smile and then said: 'You know the outcome, don't you?'

'Yes,' Ciel answered, making me feel like me and my dad weren't even here. Sebastian and Ciel talked as if his was a game of chess they were playing and me and my dad were only pawns in their chess game.

'If she kill her father, I'll be saved and she'll be a murderer. That trauma will one day get to her, whether that day is today or not. And if she doesn't, she'll blame herself for my death and you'll have what you wanted. A broken soul to devour.' Ciel sounded disgusted at his own words. 'You will win no matter what she does.'

I wasn't sure why, but something about this situation just pissed me off. 'Hello?! Can you guys stop having a formal conversation and tell me why Sebastian isn't just saving your sorry ass? It's almost like he wants to lose his job. And my father is obviously drunk right now, so taking him out shouldn't be a problem.'

'Then why not just do it?' Sebastian said and the some moment Ciel said: 'It's not like Sebastian gives a damn about his job.'

My father looked as if he hadn't heard a word we were saying. 'I'll kill this kid!' he said, as if he hadn't said that already.

That was the moment Ciel decided to decide things for himself. He stepped on my father's food with a power that even surprised Sebastian and pulled away from my father, running towards the other side of the room. Which was stupid, since there were no doors there.

My father just laughed and it creeped me out more than Sebastian ever had. He just looked at his knife and then back at Ciel and then he started to run towards Ciel.

I kind of hoped that my father would fall down (because he _was _very drunk) or that Sebastian would still save Ciel no matter how serious their game of chess was, but nothing happened. Even Ciel seemed to have accepted the fact that he couldn't run from my father forever.

That damn house staff! If they just came inside, they could help Ciel! I had the feeling I couldn't do anything! I couldn't just kill my father and I was too scared of getting to close to him, especially because he had a knife. Call me selfish, but I was just way too damn scared.

But as my father ran towards Ciel, Sebastian was looking at me with that curious look in his eyes and Ciel was looking at me as if I was his last hope, I found the courage to move.

I reached my father just in time to grab the knife from his hands, dropping the gun in the process. I knew that this wasn't what Sebastian had had in mind when he handed me the gun, but I wouldn't murder anyone unless I had tried everything within my power. And even then I would still hesitate to murder someone. Because no human being should have the right to decide on someone else's life.

My father turned around to look at me, turning his back to Ciel, who was standing frozen in the corner of the room. 'How dare you!' he screamed, closing in on me. I started to walk backwards, but soon enough I hit the wall and couldn't run any further.

My father closed in on me and had his hands in a position that I was almost certain he wanted to strangle me.

'Dad, please!' I begged. I pointed the knife towards him, but even doing such a small thing made the tears in my eyes roll over my cheeks. 'If you come closer… I'll cut you!'

'Now will you do anything?!' I heard Ciel say.

'I don't know,' was the butler's answer. I couldn't see the two as they were talking. 'Why not just order me and find out for yourself?'

Ciel sighed as my father closed in on me, laughing. 'As if my only daughter could possibly hurt her father in any-'

'This is an order! Kill him!'

As soon as Ciel had said it, Sebastian was standing behind my father. I started at him from over my father's shoulder as he grabbed my father's head and twisted it in a way that his neck nor he could ever survive.

As my father fell down, Sebastian and Ciel could see the knife, but it wasn't in my hands.

It was in my father's chest.

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><p>XxX<p>

We weren't sure what killed him first. We didn't know if it was me or Sebastian that had killed him. But we did know that my father still would have died, even if Sebastian hadn't followed his orders.

The town was in chaos. Ciel and Sebastian tried to explain everything and with my help, which I gave them while in some sort of zombie-like state, they had found more than enough evidence to prove their point. My father got burned, but even then I didn't care. All I could do was stare in front of me, trying to grasp what was going on. Trying to understand what was going to happen to me now.

Mei-Rin, Baldroy and Finnian brought me to the kitchen, where they tried to give me food and water, but I didn't want to eat or drink anything. I didn't even want to move. Moving made it real. My father was dead.

Where was I supposed to go now? My grandparents had been dead for years now and my father didn't have contact with other relatives. Was I going to an orphanage? Because I was almost completely sure that I would lose my mind there.

Mei-Rin told me that Sebastian had worked out an alibi and that Scotland Yard didn't even suspect either of them. They thought he was killed by a wild dog in the forest and the villagers agreed to that theory, more than willing to help their saviours out. After all, this village was stupid and easily to manipulate.

Ciel and his staff went to prepare everything for their departure. The three idiots carried everything to the car while I was standing in the door frame. And I still had no idea how to feel. I didn't know anything. Was I going to be left alone? I really didn't want to live in this village and certainly not on my own. Did Ciel have any idea how creepy my house was at night? Was he really planning to just leave me here?

Oh, by the way, Ciel had gone back to being calm and composed. And wasn't sure how and why, since I wasn't paying attention, but the doubt he'd had in Sebastian in de dining room seemed to have disappeared.

I just stood there are Baldroy sat down in the driver's seat with Finnian at his other side and watched as Sebastian held the car door open for Mei-Rin and Ciel. I was surprised, however, when he himself didn't get in.

'What are you doing?' I asked as he closed the car and Baldroy drove off.

Sebastian smiled a wicked little smile that I didn't trust at all. 'Well, I'm going to stay here, of course.'

'Of course?' I repeated, walking backwards as he slowly walked towards me.

'Well, if you had listened to our conversation for the last six hours, you would have known that we've decided that Baldroy will drop my master and Finnian and Mei-Rin off at the Phantomhive Estate and then come back to pick us and your stuff up.' His smile faded and it seemed like he was thinking about something unpleasant. 'I'm sorry, but I've seen your room, and we're going to need more space than the space that was left for it in the car. That's why.' He shrugged.

'Wait, why the hell do you guys think I'm coming with you?' I asked, grabbing the door so I could slap it in Sebastian's face at any moment.

Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. 'Because you just brutally killed your father and I checked your list of possible future guardians. That list was quite short, I assure you.'

Even if he was right, the way he said it made me cringe. 'Please don't,' I said, not even saying what I didn't want him to do.

Sebastian walked forward and placed a foot between the door when I tried to close it. 'Please don't, what?' he asked. 'Don't you want to hear the truth, Clarissa? You killed your father. You killed him.'

'You don't know that?!' I screamed, tears filling my eyes again. 'I-I'm not a murderer!'

That made him – strange enough – laugh. 'Never said you were, right? You keep calling me and Ciel 'murders', but are we really that bad? We are just doing our jobs.'

'Your jobs?' I asked and I could feel that the tears had left my eyes and were now rolling over my cheeks. 'What are you, the Queen's assassins?'

Sebastian chuckled. 'In some ways… Yes.'

I raised my eyebrows, but it felt strange because I was still crying. 'Are you for real? You really are a strange human being, you know that?'

He laughed. 'Who says I am a human being?'

I rolled my eyes and the tears stopped. I could feel my cynical side bursting through the misery as he said that. 'Oh, please. You're not going to reveal that you're a vampire now, are you? Because I will slap you in the face if you do.'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow, surprised by the calm reaction she gave. 'Well, no. I'm not a vampire. Please don't put me in the same category as those graceless creatures.'

Now I was the one to pull up an eyebrow. 'Are you telling me vampires actually exist?' I said sounded almost _too _sarcastic.

'I don't know,' Sebastian answered truthfully. 'I was never interested enough to find out. But this is strange. I just confessed that I might not be a human being and you brush it off like it was nothing.'

'Because I had already figured out as much, _Sherlock,_' I let him know. 'I may think you're good at keeping it a secret, but everyone with a brain can tell that you're no normal dude. First of all, you don't even sound like you're twenty-something. You talk like you're an old man. Stop that, it's annoying,' I let him know. 'Second, you get shot in the face and get up only seconds later and there's no wound to be found. That was hint number one, by the way. Third, your Hell-puns are even making _me _annoyed and I personally love puns. So, dude, you don't have to worry. I already knew you weren't exactly human.'

'So you know what I'm not am,' Sebastian said, opening the door because his foot was getting irritated. It didn't cost him any afford to pull the door open, even though I was struggling to keep it closed. 'But do you know what I _am?_'

As he entered the house, I tried to run away, but he caught me before I could even take three steps. He held me close to him, our legs and chests were touching as he looked me in the eyes with those red – definitely not brown – eyes. 'Do you?' he said.

And without thinking, because his face so close to mine made that impossible, the word left my lips.

'Demon.'

'Do you think you can handle things on your own, master?'

Ciel folded his arms together and looked at his butler with a disdainful look. 'Of course I can. And I've Finnian and Mei-Rin with me, so I'll be fine. And if I'm not, you're going to come anyways.'

Sebastian smiled amused. 'I can still leave whenever I want to.'

Ciel sighed and took of his eye-patch. 'No, you can't,' he said, opening his right eye. 'I order you to always stay by my side! You can never betray me!'

Even though Ciel thought this would have a huge effect on Sebastian, he just chuckled and went on with packing Ciel's stuff. 'Yes, my Lord,' was the only reaction he gave.

Ciel frowned. Had he done something wrong? He then put his eye-patch back on and decided not to worry about it anymore. 'You know that he's sharper and has seen more than those three idiots. She will figure out who – or rather _what _– you are soon enough.'

'I know,' Sebastian admitted. 'But I don't really mind. Have you seen the girl and how she acted? She's like a lost cat. She doesn't know anyone. She can't go anywhere. In the end, she'll start to see us as the only friends – or even family – she has left. And that kind of affection guarantees the safety of our secret.'

Ciel wasn't sure about that. 'We'll see.'

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**So yeah, that happened. I hope you liked the chapter!**

**(sorry for the typos, I was very tired when I wrote this and didn't have any energy left to go and look for the typos)**


	7. Chapter 7

***Unfortunately enough, I still don't own Kuroshitsuji. But I do own my OC***

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 7**

The smirk Sebastian gave me confirmed that my guess had indeed been correct. He released me, but grabbed my wrist so that I couldn't run away. I could feel the disappointment when he let go of me, but I tried to keep it under control. This wasn't the time to act like a girl who melts every time a hot guy touches her. _Focus, Clarissa, focus!_

And of course I had to ask the stupidest question that anyone in this situation could have asked. 'You're not Satan, are you? 'Cause that would be… a bit weird?'

'Only a bit?' Sebastian narrowed his eyes. 'And how did you come to the conclusion?' he asked and I could hear sincere curiosity in his voice.

I sighed and felt weird. I really couldn't keep track of my emotions. I should still be upset about my father's dead, but Sebastian made me sort of tired and irritated. 'The hell puns were the give-away,' I let him know. 'But the red eyes and the strange mark in Ciel's eye certainly helped. I'm not stupid, I've seen that mark before.'

Sebastian looked surprised, which made me surprised. 'What?' I asked when he didn't say anything. 'Is it strange to recognize that mark? I'm sure it is in some movie or another.'

Sebastian shook his head. 'It's not about whether your recognize the mark or not. I just can't understand why a mere mortal his handling this so naturally.' He narrowed his eyes again. 'It doesn't seem like human nature to me.'

'How would you know?' I said, not expecting an answer. I tried to make him understand. 'Let's just say that living with a father who couldn't think of anything else then a curse and a demon hound did the trick. But also…' I immediately bit my lip so that I wouldn't continue with talking. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about him.

'What?' Sebastian said and then he seemed to be back to his old routes again; a freaking hot and freaking creepy butler. Great, I missed this version of him. _Not._

I shook my head. 'It's nothing. Let's just say that an old friend of mine always told me stories about demons and the unclean. About Faustian Contracts. And about London Bridge, actually, but he's gone a bit cuckoo.'

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. 'Cuckoo?'

I nodded. 'Yes, last time I saw him, all he could do was sing that song over and over and over again. My grandmother had to put him into a mental institution.'

'Your grandmother?' Sebastian asked, looking more and more surprised each time I spoke.

I nodded again, not sure why this interested him so much. 'Yes. She'd found him at the side of the road once and decided to take him home. He never left.'

'Your grandmother picked up a boy from the side of the road?' Sebastian asked. 'Did she not report it to the police?'

This part of the story was the only think that made me kind of nervous. 'Well, she did go to the police. But according to the police, he didn't exist.' She shook her head. 'They didn't even find any DNA, as if he didn't have any. As if he was just a hallucination.'

I noticed that I had been staring into space when Sebastian took a stray of hair, that had fallen in front of my face, and put it behind my ear. 'What was his name?' he asked.

'Drossel Keinz,' I answered, 'though I never really liked that name.'

Sebastian's eyes narrowed once again, but he didn't say anything. It was the silence that made me scared.

'But I doubt that he's even alive now!' I said immediately. 'He was just a strange kid. But he did know lots of stories.'

Something I said made Sebastian angry, or at least irritated, because he let go of me and walked into the house, probably towards my room. When he said; 'I'll go and pack your things, since you're clearly not going to do that,' I knew I was right.

I really didn't want to be alone in my room with Sebastian, especially now that I knew for certain that he was a demon and knowing that there was a really big bed in my room, so I grabbed my laptop that was still laying on the ground in the garden and took it back inside.

I sat down in my father's office, mostly because I thought that that was the last place Sebastian would look, but also because I had always wanted to sit in that chair. But now it just felt weird.

I opened my laptop and went to _Google._

_Demon, _I typed. Then I clicked on _images, _because I was in no mood to read. And I doubted that _Wikipedia _would get me anywhere. As I looked through the pictures of ugly ass mother fuckers, I got more and more frustrated. What exactly _was _Sebastian? Okay, I knew he was a demon, but what did that actually tell me? I also knew Ciel had a contract with him, but why the hell did a demon want to make a contract with a-

Suddenly the words Ciel had said in the dining room came back to me.

_'__If she kill her father, I'll be saved and she'll be a murderer. That trauma will one day get to her, whether that day is today or not. And if she doesn't, she'll blame herself for my death and you'll have what you wanted. A broken soul to devour. You will win no matter what she does.'_

Oh God.

Then I went back to Google. _Contract with a demon._

The first thing to pop up was a _Wikipedia-_page simply called '_Deal with the Devil_'. That page didn't tell me much, but it did tell me the story of Faust, a man who made a deal with the devil and traded his soul for unlimited knowledge. Was that what Ciel had done? Had he traded his soul for a butler? But… why? He could've just hired one. Yes, it may cost more money, but it wouldn't have cost him his freaking _soul!_

I clicked on the link to the _Wikipedia-_page about Faust and read: _"The Faust legend has been the basis for many literary, artistic, cinematic, and musical works that have reinterpreted it through the ages. Faust and the adjective Faustian imply a situation in which an ambitious person surrenders moral integrity in order to achieve power and success for a delimited term."_

Oh God. Ciel was just a kid. Did that guy not have a soul?

Well, since he was a demon, I guess he didn't, but still.

'What _are _you doing?' I suddenly heard from behind me, making me jump. In my shock I accidentally slapped my laptop and it would have fallen on the ground if Sebastian didn't catch it just in time.

'I _was _googling stuff,' I told him, 'but then I was interrupted by _you._'

'You were googling Faust,' Sebastian added, ignoring my angry look. 'Why were you googling Faust? If you've questions, you should just ask me. No offense, but humans can be quite stupid when it comes to legends and myths.'

'So Faust didn't exist?' I asked.

A small smile appeared on Sebastian's face as he put the laptop back on the table. 'I never said that, did I?'

'Okay, so were you the one who made a contract with him? Or are there others like you?' Because if there were, they were surely keen with keeping it a secret.

Sebastian laughed. 'I promise you that Sebastian Michaelis never made any sort of contract with Faust. But I can tell you that he is the reason our contracts are called Faustian Contracts.'

I leaned back in my chair, surprisingly interested in this. And I could see Sebastian's amusement and I knew that I could ask anything I wanted. But I also knew that he wasn't going to answer all my questions. After all, he _did _sort of avoid the 'are there more like you?'-question. 'So these contract things… are they normal? I mean, do you need to make a contract with a human to be able to devour their soul?'

'It depends,' Sebastian told me. 'We can steal a soul when a person's dying without permission, but those souls are usually very weak and when we do that we risk a conflict with a Reaper-'

'Reaper? As in Grim Reaper? Does he actually exist?' I pulled up my eyebrows. This was getting more and more interesting!

'Well, yes and no. There's not one Grim Reaper, because there are way too many souls for just one force. There are hundreds of Reapers,' Sebastian said, clearly a bit irritated that I interrupted him. 'But that's not the point. These Grim Reapers only appear when they have to take a soul and lead it to the other side and if we steal a soul, they can become very angry. For the weak soul you gain, it's just too much of a bother.'

'But don't you die if you don't eat enough?' I asked and I heard how strange had sounded, knowing I was talking about human souls and not about food.

Sebastian smirked. 'Who says that I'm not eating? Souls are just a special meal, I can still my hunger with other things.'

'Such as…?' I asked when I didn't continue.

'Emotions,' was his answer.

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'Emotions,' I repeated.

A smile scarier than death appeared on his face. 'Why do you think your sadness was suddenly gone?'

My surprise almost caused me to fall out of the chair. 'Oh,' I said, frowning. Eating my emotions sounded a bit weird. And creepy. But I already knew that he was a creep, so that didn't surprise me. I was actually very forgiving for his weird habits now, knowing that he wasn't human.

'Don't worry,' Sebastian said, 'it won't kill you. I've been feeding off of the house staff and the kids in school for years now. Do they look bothered.'

'No,' I admitted. 'But the house staff does sort of seem messed up,' I added.

That made Sebastian laugh. 'Trust me,' he said. 'They were like that even before I found them.'

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><p>XxX<p>

When we sat in the car I tried to focus on the book I was reading. But I could feel Sebastian's eyes on me and it made me feel highly uncomfortable.

'Could you please stop staring at me?' I asked him without looking up. A trick that I'd picked up from Ciel.

'No,' Sebastian said and I had to admit that it was nice that he was at least honest about it.

'But you're freaking me out,' I admitted, still not looking up.

That made him chuckle. 'Well, when aren't I?' he then asked me.

That question made me look up. 'Touché,' I said before looking back at the page.

Sebastian chuckled once again, but I knew that he wasn't looking at me anymore. I wasn't sure where he was looking at and my curiosity made me actually look up after a while.

He was looking outside the window. And I couldn't help but feel attracted to that perfect face of his. The eyes, that I now knew for sure they were red, since I'd seen them up close, the eyelashes that every woman would kill for, and the black hair that always seemed to scream 'touch me, touch me!'. And his soft pale lips that could make every word feel so scary, but also so hypnotic and sweat…

'What? I'm not allowed to stare but you are?' Sebastian said, slowly turning his head to look at me.

I blushed and tried to hide my face behind the book, but I knew that that didn't work. He knew I'd been staring. 'Well, you have to admit that you're a nicer thing to look at.'

Again, I got a brutally honest answer. 'Well, of course I am,' he said. 'I'm not human.'

'And what exactly is that supposed to mean?' I asked, really trying not to sound hurt by his words.

Sebastian shook his head. 'Human, they don't understand a thing,' he said and his words sounded so meaningful, almost as if he was hurt by his own words. 'They don't understand that perfect eyesight isn't an advantage, but a burden. The perfect eyes can see through every trick that humans try to pull. Make-up, plastic surgery. Perfect eyes can see through every flaw the human skin has to offer, making even the natural beauties seem ugly. In a world where you can see the reality behind beauty, nothing is pretty. Nothing is beautiful. A human wouldn't be able to handle such a hideous world. But the strangest thing is… It is in fact their world.'

It was silent in the car as I was trying to grasp what it was he wanted to say with this and he watched me as I tried to understand what he just said. 'Even flaw can be beautiful,' I said after a while. 'No one is perfect. You're right, there are people who try to be perfect with make-up and other tricks, but in the end, no one is. That's what being human is all about, right? Having flaws? Every flaw in my skin is my own flaw. And I think, in a way, that unique flaw makes me beautiful.' I cannot believe I just said that.

Sebastian started at me for a minute, but I was sure he was going to disagree with me. But then he said: 'Maybe you're right. But I'll never know. After all, I'm not human.' Something about his words made me sad, even though he hadn't said them sad at all. He had said if as if he was stating a fact. As if he was telling me that the sky was blue.

'Don't you sometimes wish you were one?' I asked, knowing the answer before I even asked it.

'No,' he answered almost immediately. 'I've lived long enough to see the true human nature. Humans are selfish creatures and only care for others if it suits themselves. I may be a demon, but I'm way to honest to care for someone half-heartedly. I will only care or help someone when I feel like it and when I think I will gain enough from doing so. Humans live their lives, trying to convince themselves that they're good, that they're pure. But they wouldn't beg a God for mercy if they were, would they?'

'You are a pessimistic little demon,' I told him, not wanting to continue this way too deep conversation.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**So that was chapter seven! I hope you liked it! Sorry I had so much explain-stuff in this chapter, but I just wanted to get my rules for demons and stuff out of the way. It's so weird to write about Ciel and Sebastian and then have one of the characters use a laptop XD, it just seem out of place or something. But yeah, thanks for reading this chapter! I don't think I'll be able to update tomorrow, but I think there will be a new chapter on Sunday!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Just as last week, weekend's almost over and then I have to go and make homework and be stuck at school till 6 in the evening and Friday the 5****th**** is actually a Dutch holiday, so I don't think I'll be able to post anything then. Anyhow, enjoy the chapter! And remember, I don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 8**

I woke up the next morning in the same enormous bed that I had woken up in the previous time I was in the Phantomhive house. The only difference was that, this time, I didn't feel the need to jump out of a window and run away. Not because I was okay with being here, but because I now knew that Sebastian wouldn't let me leave anyway.

I was too lazy to get dressed, so I grabbed my bathrobe that laid in one of the suitcases in my room, suitcases full with _my _stuff, and put it on. I really didn't care if anyone saw my bedhead, but I didn't want to let anyone see my horrible pink _Hello Kitty _pyjama. Though I knew that Sebastian had probably seen it when he packed my stuff, but I tried hard not to think about that.

I walked into the corridor barefoot and looked around. When I saw that there was no one there, I again started to wonder just how many people worked here. I didn't think that those three idiots could handle everything by themselves. They will break this estate apart before fixing anything.

I walked aimlessly through the gigantic mansion, but everything was so quiet. Maybe everyone was still asleep. Wait… what time was it? The sun was already up, right? Of course, it was summer, so the sun of already up at like 5 'o clock, but that's not the point here.

Wait… Did demons need sleep?

I shook my head. _No. _I'm not going to think about Sebastian first thing in the morning. I've got better stuff to do. For example, looking for the kitchen. I was starving.

Then I heard a loud '_boom_' paired with Finnian's scream: 'Found you, rat!'

I could feel the whole place shake as something very heavy fell down. I could hear Finnian, Baldroy and Mei-Rin talk, but now that they weren't screaming I couldn't hear what they were saying. Also, I didn't know exactly where they were. This house was so big, it was like their voices came from everywhere.

So I just ignored the trio, they were most likable goofing around again, and continued my walk through the endless corridors.

Then suddenly I walked up to Sebastian, who was carrying a plate with a tea set on it. Even though I bumped into him pretty hard, he still held the plate perfectly and didn't even stumble. But then again, he _was _perfect in every sense of the world. And that _smell…_

No, no, no, no. Stop it. Just think about hot actors or something. But the moment I thought that I knew that there wasn't an actor in the world more handsome then Sebastian.

'Good morning,' he said, only slightly amused. 'What _are_ you wearing?'

'My Sunday outfit,' I let him know, ignoring the insult in his voice.

A small smile crossed his face. 'Well, you look gorgeous,' that was so obviously sarcastic, 'but I really hope that you won't join the morning tea like that.'

Wanting nothing more than to irritate him, I looked him straight in the eye and said: 'Maybe I will.'

The smile that then appeared on his face made me believe that I'd made the wrong choice. 'Okay, then. Follow me.' He leaded me to a different room then Ciel usually sat, this room had similarities, but swords were hanging on the wall and there was a red couch. There was also a different, round table in front of the couch and two chairs were standing round the table as well. Ciel was sitting in one of the dark red chairs, but the other one wasn't empty. A beautiful woman with pale skin, red hair, red clothing and a strange colour eyes was sitting in the other one. The couch wasn't empty either. A Asian-looking man was sitting on the couch and on his lap sat a Asian-looking girl. They both wore Asian clothing and I found them kind of strange. Not because they were Asian, but because there was more than enough cough for them to both sit on it. Why was she sitting on his lap? That didn't look proper. And also, the man had a really strange look in his eyes.

The last person I noticed was another butler-looking guy. This man also had a strange colour eyes, almost yellow, and his hair was long and brown, but he kept it in a tail. He looked as if he had no idea what he was doing here.

And when I entered the room, this group of colourful people was looking at me. And I realized that I out of all these people, probably looked the strangest. 'Um… hey,' I said and I could see Ciel's annoyance as he saw what I was wearing.

Wow, this really wasn't a good idea.

Sebastian just ignored me as the poor tea in the cups and handed them to the guests. 'Today's tea is a Darjeeling tea from Fortnum & Mason,' he explained after handing two teacups to the Asian man and woman.

'It smells delicious,' the man said, surprisingly without an accent. 'Tea can be exceptional when well brewed, hmm?'

The lady in red narrowed her eyes as she took a sip. She glanced at the other butler in the room. 'Grell. Learn something from him,' she said sharp and disdainful.

The butler looked nervous and stumbled like lunatic. His voice also sounded a lot higher than a normal guy would speak. 'W-w-well… Y-yes, my Lady,' he said.

The lady closed her eyes for a minute and then looked at me. 'Is she the girl you told me about?'

Told you about? Who told you about me?! Clearly it had been Ciel, since he was the one to answer: 'Yes, so I would appreciate it if you would just sign the document I gave you before the end of the day. I really don't want Scotland Yard in my estate right now.'

'Alright, fine. I will. But only because you ask me to.' The woman looked at me for another three seconds and then looked at Sebastian. 'That aside… You're a fine-looking man, aren't you?' she asked and she looked like she wanted to harass him. 'Quit serving in this silly country house and come to me.'

Okay, this conversation suddenly took a different turn. The woman even sounded sort of drunk. But I could see that she wasn't. Drunk people always had that strange look in their eyes. She clearly still had her shit together.

Ciel cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. 'Madam Red,' he said, almost as if he was her parent.

'Ah, Goodness, I'm sorry!' she said, scratching the back of her head. 'Every time I see him, I just want to have him! Perhaps that's how doctors are!'

Err. No. That's _not _how doctors are.

I looked almost feel the burning irritation that Ciel felt right now from the place I was standing. He put down his tea. 'By the way, Clarissa. This is Madam Red, she's my aunt and my guardian. She will be your guardian so that there's no problem with you staying here.'

That came way to fast. I tried to grasp what he said, but it just sounded so… unlikely. 'Wait… what? Since when do you have a guardian?'

Ciel looked at me with a cynical face that I would only describe as the '_really?_'-face. 'Yes, I do. It's kind of an obligatory thing, you know.' He folded his hands together. 'Don't worry, she won't kidnap you. It's just something that needs to happen in order for you to be able to stay with me.'

I had no idea how I was supposed to react to that. Should I say 'thank you'? or maybe I should run for my life. Seeing as the second one wasn't a useful option and the first one was something I would never do, I didn't say anything.

Ciel made a sort of wave gesture to the Asian guy. 'And that is Lau.' He didn't bother to introduce the girl sitting on his lap.

'And I-I-I am G-G-Grell!' the other butler then said, suddenly standing in front of me. He took my hand in his and shook it as if he wanted to rip my hand off. 'It's s-s-s-so nice t-t-to meet you!'

And then I saw it. As he touched me and I looked at him, I saw how similar his skin was to Sebastian's. Pale and perfect, as if they were dolls rather than people. Was this guy also a demon? He seemed way too… annoying for that.

'Grell!' Madam Red said sternly.

Grell immediately dropped my hand and went back to his spot in the room.

But just as he'd taken his position, another guest left his. The Asian man, Lau, put the girl that was sitting on his lap on the couch and walked towards me. He lifted my chin and observed my face. 'What a cute girl you are,' he said, looking at me as if I was some sort of treasure rather than a person.

And then someone pulled me away from him in some sort of deathly embrace. 'Keep your paws off of my new little niece!' Madam Red said to him in a possessive, almost angry manner. She was so close I could smell her perfume. A rose-like sent that made me think about my grandmother.

Lau laughed and folded his arms, clearly not-caring about what the woman thought. 'You wound me. I wouldn't paw at her here.'

If Madam Red's eyes could shoot flames, they would have after he said that. 'What? You're saying that you _would _somewhere else? That's a problematic statement, you know!' Somewhere during her rant she let go of me and I would have fallen on the ground if Sebastian hadn't caught me.

_'__You okay?' _he mouthed at me, putting me back on my feet so that I wouldn't fall if he let go of me.

_'__I'm fine,' _I mouthed back, pulling myself free from his grip.

As those two were still having this clearly useless conversation, Sebastian turned towards his master, who had gotten up from his chair and was now walking towards the door. 'Young master?' he asked.

Ciel walked out of the room without answering his butler's call.

And since I didn't see any reason why I had to stay in that room, I just mumbled a 'bye' and left the room.

Not that it was any less chaos in the corridor.

'It's him!' Baldroy screamed. He and the other two were running through the corridor, with some sort of net in their hands. And it was clear they were running after a rat.

Aha. So that was what they were doing.

Ciel suddenly stopped walking and pressed a hand against his forehead. Since I immediately thought it had something to do with the seal on his eye (or in his eye, I wasn't quite sure) I ran towards him. 'Ciel?' I asked, the same time someone behind me said: 'Young master?'

Ciel turned around, but only to look at his butler and not at me. I wasn't sure how to feel about that, but since I was used to being ignored by now I just stood there looking at the two.

And then Sebastian started to talk about food. 'Today we'll be having a deep-dish apple raisin pie. It will be ready soon. Will you eat it with your guests?'

I didn't dare to ask if I could have a piece, but my stomach growled the moment I heard the word 'pie'. I really needed to eat something.

Ciel gave his butler a cold look. 'Just bring it to my room. I can't deal with them anymore,' he said and after that, he turned around and walked away.

And this time, I didn't follow him.

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><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian helped the three idiots with catching the rat – so that took like, three seconds – and then went to the kitchen for the pie. And since I had nothing better to do and since I really wanted pie, I decided to just follow him. But I have to admit that it was clear that he didn't enjoy that.

When we reached the kitchen I was actually surprised about how small it was. I thought that a big mansion meant a big kitchen, but that was not the case. It wasn't that much bigger than my old kitchen, actually.

'Are you following me because you're bored or because you haven't eaten anything yet?' Sebastian asked me while cutting a slice of the pie and putting it on a plate.

'Both,' I told him. 'But mostly the 'haven't eaten' part.'

A smile crossed Sebastian's lips, but it was gone before I could enjoy it. 'If you make yourself presentable, I will prepare breakfast for you and bring it to your room. Does that sound reasonable?' He asked as he cut yet another slice and placed it on yet another plate.

'Yes!' I said. 'But I think you'll have my breakfast ready before I'm ready, because I think it will take a hour for me to find my room in this maze.'

This time the smile on his face stayed there for a little bit longer. 'I would recommend you start searching, then.'

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><p>XxX<p>

I was really proud of myself when I found my room in less than five minutes. To my surprise, my bed was already cleaned and towels were put on the end of it. I was sure that Sebastian had done that, but I wasn't sure _when_.

My 'room' wasn't really _a _room. More like three. I had an office, that looked almost exactly the same as Ciel's office, and I saw that Sebastian had put all the books, mine and my father's, from my old house in the bookcases there. I had a bathroom, what was almost as big as the office room, so that was like a dream come true and I had the bedroom that I had slept in. And I had a walk-in closet!

I took a shower in the enormous bathroom and pulled a pair of jeans and a shirt out of one of the suitcases. Then I grabbed my laptop and sat down behind the desk, waiting for my breakfast to arrive. I kind of felt like a princess. Or the Queen. Or a celebrity. In any case, I felt rich. Like, really, _really _rich.

Sebastian came into my office only minutes after I had started my laptop. 'Here's your slice of deep-dish apple raisin pie, some scones and morning tea. If you want anything else, you can always look for me.' A devious smile appeared on his face. 'But just know that if I do not want to cook anything else for you, you won't be able to find me.' And after that he disappeared.

And I was alone in my gigantic room with the most delicious and fat breakfast of my life.

Who knew that living with the devil could be so freaking awesome?

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**So, that was chapter eight. I hoped you liked it!**

**promocat****: I think Sebastian will try to find a way to have both ;) and that he would only break his contract with Ciel if he thinks that's the best thing to do. Ciel will be in the story for quite a bit, so don't worry about Sebastian dumping him. Yet. **


	9. Chapter 9

**As I said; tomorrow Dutch holiday, so no updates tomorrow! I wasn't even planning on updating today, but I just felt like writing. Have a nice day everyone and a nice Sinterklaas (the Dutch holiday I was talking about) if you live in the Netherlands or another place that celebrates the holiday!**

**And I still don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

**_(I don't know why, but I almost typed 'I don't own Death Note'. I mean… why? Kuroshitsuji and Death Note have nothing in common. I think I'm just tired. Also, because time in the Netherlands is different, it's now the 4_****_th_****_ of December, almost 8 pm and the Dutch holiday is on the 5_****_th_****_ of December, so yeah. Enjoy the chapter!)_**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 9**

'Oh my God!'

I could hear the teenagers scream as Sebastian helped me out of the limousine. I had to admit that seeing their surprised, but mostly jealous, faces was something I'd never thought I'd see. And it was priceless.

Sebastian had a big amused grin on his face and when I looked at him with the same kind of smile, he said: 'Their emotions are all over the place.'

I laughed and made way for Ciel as Sebastian let go of my hand.

It was strange how much I had gotten used to him in the three days that had passed since I started living with them. Even the three idiots started to grow on me. The only person I had barely seen was Ciel, but I wasn't sure why not. I think he just really hated it to be around people.

And a perfect example of that was the cold look he gave all the people on the street in front of our school that were looking at him as if he was some sort of God… but not in a positive way.

I felt kind of cool when I walked towards the school, eyes following me as if I was some sort of superstar.

'Don't they have anything better to do?' I heard Ciel behind me say in a grumpy tone. I heard Sebastian chuckle and I considered walking besides them, but stopping now to be able to walk besides them would be strange, so I didn't.

As I walked into my first class, I realized that I had done none of the homework giving to us before the break.

Fan-tas-tic.

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><p>XxX<p>

'You look like you're enjoying yourself,' Ciel said, his voice overloaded with sarcasm. He sat at his table in the canteen and read the paper, which was odd because I never saw him do that before.

I threw my bag on the table and sat down in the most angry way possible. 'Well, yeah. Teachers got angry at me for not doing my shit. Do they even care that my father died?'

'Of course they do,' Ciel said. 'Today's newspaper is all about the accident.' He then showed me the article he was talking about.

I almost threw up when I saw the picture. It was of me and Sebastian, standing in the doorframe of my old house. I didn't even know there were reporters back then. And I didn't see any camera. Who the hell made this picture?

_'__Tragic suicide of Barrymore's mayor leaves daughter and town hopeless'._

I almost laughed at the title. 'Are they serious? _I'_m not hopeless without him. _He _would me without _me_.'

Ciel sighed and then grabbed something from his back. He then handed that to me. 'This is a magazine that was interested in another part of the story.' He opened the magazine and handed it to me.

It was de same picture, again, but there was a second one. The one where I was trying to keep him out and he was determent do get in. The headline was way worse than the one of the newspaper. '_Consolation from the butler?_' I almost fainted when I read that. I quickly read the few sentences of the actual article, hoping that it was just a misprint. '_Not even an hour after her father committed suicide, a young man appears at the Barrymore house. This man is no one else but the Phantomhive butler, Sebastian Michaelis. After observing for a while, we clearly see him getting into the house with Barrymore's daughter, to only hours later get into a car together and leave the city. Is this what you call a love scandal? Did the father of Clarissa Lane, the daughter who oddly enough doesn't share her father's last name, not approve of her boyfriend? And what does Sebastian's master, the young genius Ciel Phantomhive, think?_'

I closed the magazine before I read too much. 'Oh, gosh,' I said, hiding my face behind my hands.

'It's not that bad. The paparazzi love to hear about me and my butler, so they isn't a surprise that they would hear about this and turn it into a scandalous story.' Ciel sighed and took the magazine back from me. 'Don't worry too much. It's boring.'

I could just feel everyone in the canteen staring at us. I wasn't sure if they were looking at me, Ciel, Sebastian or us all, but I knew that they weren't happy. 'I want to go home!' I whined, trying to close this subject.

'Stop acting more childish than the child sitting in front of you,' Ciel said, not shying away from the fact that he was two years younger than me.

'But _Ciel!_' I said, now being whiny on purpose to tease him.

'Zip it,' he said, but I thought I saw a hint of a smile on his face.

Then I looked up at Sebastian, who was looking at me with a look that I didn't understand. He looked as if he tried to read my mind… And I didn't like that at all.

'Do you have any special demon powers?' I asked him, mostly to distract him, but also to distract myself so that I wouldn't stare at him.

Sebastian pulled an eyebrow up. 'Special demon powers?' he repeated, sounding more cynical then I thought possible.

I sighed and started to relax as I pulled my mouth open and said every little thing that came to mind: 'Yeah, like reading mind or changing into a bat or something. Wait… do you have wings? Angels have wings, right? Do demons have wings too? And if so, where are you hiding them? If you pull them out, do your clothes rip become of it? Or do you use magic so that your clothes stay intact?'

Sebastian looked even more cynical now. 'Magic?' he repeated, but he didn't say anything about the wings.

Ciel frowned now, looking up at his butler. '_Do _you have wings when you're in this form, Sebastian?' he asked.

Sebastian sighed, knowing that he couldn't ignore a question his master asked him. 'If I wanted to have wings, I would.'

'So what, you can make yourself look however the hell you want?' I asked. 'Because if that's the case, then I want to become demon too. That would be so unfair.'

'Life is unfair,' Sebastian said, surprisingly cold. But he did answer my question: 'But no, I cannot. I have a human form, an animal form and a demon form. Those can't be changed, but I can alter between them.'

'Wait,' I said, understanding it without truly understanding it. 'You think this form looks _human_?' I asked. 'I'm very sorry, but a human couldn't even dream of having such a godly face as you have.' The moment I said it I put my hand over my mouth, but it was too late. I had already said it.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! As if this demon wasn't arrogant enough!_

A seductive smile appeared on Sebastian's face. 'You think I look attractive?' he asked amused.

Something about those words put me off. Or maybe it was my embarrassment that was so desperate to try and hide itself that it made me angry. 'Does anyone on planet earth think you're not? Come on, dude. I bet even you can't deny the fact that you're gorgeous.'

Sebastian rose his eyebrows. He clearly didn't expect me to compliment him _again._

Oh gosh. Why did I open my mouth again?

'Okay, love birds,' Ciel said, clearly being annoyed and bored by this conversation. 'I'm done eating. I'm going to my next class. Clarissa, come with me while he cleans up the table. I really don't want to hear the two of you discuss anything every again.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When the day was over I was so happy that I almost thought I would cry. Everyone had been looking at me in every class I was in an even though I liked the attention at first, it got annoying really quick.

Ciel sighed when he sat down next to me in the limousine. Sebastian went and set in the driver's seat.

'How was school today?' I asked Ciel, since I hadn't had any classes with him after lunch.

He made a sound that didn't sound like he had enjoyed his day of school. 'Boring as ever. A game gets boring if the field never changes.'

'Right,' I said, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. Why did he always make comparisons between real life and a game? I mean, who did that? Life wasn't a game. Everyone knew that. Even iceman Ciel should now.

Then Ciel surprised me. 'How was your day at school?'

I looked at him for a while. I never thought he would ever ask me something like that. I thought that I was just a bore to him. 'Er… okay, I guess?' I said, not really sure what the good answer was, the answer that Ciel wanted to hear.

He closed his eye for a moment. 'That's great,' he said, but I couldn't tell if he was being cynical or not.

'Do you think the house still stands when we arrive?' I said, trying to avoid a silence.

That made Ciel open his eye again. 'What?'

'I mean, we _did _sort of leave the three idiots alone in the house all day,' I said, making it awkward by sounding as if I was some sort of Disney-villain.

Ciel sighed. 'I've left them before. If I don't give them anything to do, they usually break nothing apart. However, the risk is always there.' He made a move with his hands as if he was trying to brush my worries away. 'But don't worry. There's nothing those three could do to my mansion that Sebastian wouldn't be able to fix.'

And knowing Sebastian, I knew he was right.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When we arrived home there was an unexpected surprise waiting for us.

The main hall was filled with flowers, glitter and confetti and the whole room smelled like chocolate cake and something else… Something sweet.

'What in the world happened here?' Sebastian asked, but the only answer he got were the three idiots who came running towards him. I thought for a sec that they were going to attack him, but they just grabbed him and cried: 'Sebastian!'

'What in the world happened?' he repeated as they hugged him as if he was his mother and they were three little children who got bullied.

'Ask the crazy girl!' Baldroy asked and first I thought he meant me, but then I saw him point at a fast moving object in the room.

'Crazy girl?' Ciel repeated, but before he could even say something else, someone grabbed him and hugged him as if he was her favourite Barbie.

The girl that was hugging him was young, she couldn't be older then twelve, and had blonde hair. She was wearing an orange dress and her voice was high pitched and too be honest, a bit annoying. 'Ciel!' she screamed. 'I missed you!'

I was surprised how not-angry Ciel reacted. 'Elizabeth!' he said, but he only sounded surprised. He didn't seem unhappy to see her, nor was he annoyed with the fact that someone was touching him.

The girl – Elizabeth – released him. 'Aww, you know I'm always telling you to call me Lizzie!' she said with a big smile on her face. A smile that I hadn't seen much in my life. She smiled at him as if… she loved him. Then she pulled him back for another hug. 'Aww, you're just so cute!'

Sebastian sighed, but silent so that only I could hear it. 'Lady Elizabeth,' he said. And if I was surprised with Ciel's reaction to this girl, then Sebastian's reactions killed me. He was even smiling at her!

His hello did distract the little girl from Ciel. 'Oh, Sebastian! Good afternoon!' she said happy.

'Elizabeth,' Ciel said, a little bit of his bitterness back in his voice. 'What have you done to my mansion?'

'I just wanted to add more cute things!' she said, not even thinking about the fact that it could bother Ciel.

'Ah,' Ciel said, just letting it slide. HE. JUST. LET. IT. SLIDE. Who are you and what have you done with Ciel, because clearly, you're not him. 'By the way, Elizabeth, why are you here? Where's auntie?'

_Auntie?! _Did he seriously just address someone with the word '_auntie_'?

Elizabeth smiled a lovely smile and grabbed Ciel's hands. 'I wanted to see you, Ciel, so I snuck away and here.' After that she pulled him in for another hug.

'Snuck away?' he repeated with not only surprise but also worry in his voice. 'What were you thinking?'

Elizabeth laughed and released him again. Then she saw me. 'Who's she?' she asked, observing me from head to toe. 'She's so cute!'

Ciel sighed. 'That's Clarissa. She's having problems with her family at the moment, so she's staying with me.'

A sad, almost cartoonlike grumpy-face appeared. 'Eh?' Elizabeth said. 'I also want to stay with you!' She started to rant to Ciel about stuff that I really didn't want to hear, so I turned to Sebastian.

'Er, who is she?' I asked. I noticed that the three idiots had disappeared, but I wasn't sure when that happened.

'Oh, this is the daughter of the Marquess of Scotney. Lady Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford,' he said.

'You didn't have to tell me her full name you know. How do you even know that?' I asked teasingly.

Sebastian ignored my comment. 'Lady Elizabeth is Ciel's childhood friend. And if you ask Elizabeth, she is his fiancé.'

That was definitely not a word I expected to hear in this subtext. 'Aren't they a bit too young for that?' I asked.

Sebastian nodded. 'But it isn't like that. Their parents are old friends and they really wanted to see their kids get married. So they brought them together as much as they could. That changed, of course, when young master's parents passed away. But that doesn't change the fact that she's a very old friend.'

'And, let me guess, rich as fuck?' I asked sarcastically.

The only answer I got from Sebastian was an amused smile that clearly meant 'yes'.

Then Elizabeth suddenly looked at me again. 'Ow, but she's so pretty! Can I choose a dress for her sometime? Please, please, please!' she begged Ciel.

Ciel sighed. 'Ask _her._'

'Yes, yes!' Elizabeth said, almost running towards me. 'Can I dress you up sometime? I would love to dress you up sometime!'

What did she think I was, her personal Barbie doll? But it was obvious that Ciel really cared for this little girl. And something about her made her impossible to hate. 'Sure,' I said, smiling as kindly as I could.

'Yay!' she said, clapping enthusiastic in her hands. 'Ooh, why not just dress you up today, then?! We can have a ball in the old ballroom, just like we always did as kids!' She gave Ciel a puppy-look. 'Can we, Ciel?' she asked in a way that was almost impossible to refuse.

Ciel sighed once again. 'Fine.'

'Yay!' she screamed again, making me jump. 'I'm going to call my dressmaker and my hairstylist and we're going to make you so pretty!' She said, smiling at me as if I was worth a thousand unicorns.

Oh, boy. I started to feel like this was a mistake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Me:****_ La la, la la la la, sing a happy song. La la, la la la la, I don't own Kuroshitsuji._**

**Clarissa: That didn't even rhyme.**

**Me: Shut up, no one will know.**

**Clarissa: I think everyone will know.**

**Me: Argh, you're annoying. **

**Clarissa: Well, you created me, so it's your own fault.**

**Me: Argh! Stop being a party ruiner! Now I'm going to make you dance with Sebastian.**

**Clarissa: I'm not a – wait. WHAT?**

**Me: Enjoy the chapter, everyone!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 10**

When Elizabeth says she'll dress you up, she apparently takes her self-given job very seriously.

She went to the city (strange enough without me, though I must admit that was a relieve) and came back hours later with a shitload of dresses.

I was surprised how well they all fitted. It was like she knew my measurements. When I had put on the second dress, a blue one that fell like a waterfall down to my ankles, I asked her: 'How do you know my measurements?'

She looked at me confused, as if it was a strange question to ask. 'Sebastian gave them to me.'

Argh, I should have known. And how does _he _know them? Did he measure me in my sleep? Gross, I hoped not. I really hoped it was just one of his demon powers.

After putting on all the dresses Elizabeth choose the one that I felt the less comfortable in. It was a tight red dress. And even though it wasn't a slutty dress and I had to admit that it was the one that looked the best on me, there was one reason that I really didn't want to wear it.

It had the same red colour as Sebastian's eyes.

When Elizabeth hair stylist was pulling my hair in an attempt to make it somewhat presentable, I looked at the girl with a scared look in my eyes. 'Err, Elizabeth-'

'Lizzie,' she said. 'Just call me Lizzie, okay?' She smiled cheerfully.

'Okay,' was my brilliant reaction. 'Lizzie. I'm very flattered that I'm invited to this… ball? But you keep talking about a waltz and I gave literally no idea how to dance a waltz.'

She pulled but her eyebrows. 'Oh! But you're a girl!' she said, as if any girl these days knew how to dance. 'Didn't your father teach you how to dance?'

I cringed as she said that, but I somehow managed to keep my farther reactions under control. 'No, he did not,' I said, surprised with how calm I sounded.

'Oh,' she said, looking extremely disappointed. Then her face cleared up again. 'But that's okay, Ciel can't really dance either! So I will teach Ciel and Sebastian will teach you, doesn't that sound great?'

No amount could ever state my enormous amount of sarcasm when I said: 'Fantastic.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Stop looking like that. If I see that smirk of yours one more time, I swear to God I will stamp on your toes.'

Sebastian chuckled. 'I can't help myself. From up-close your expression are even more amusing.' His eyes sparkled amused.

I sighed. He hadn't even seen me in my dress. Elizabeth immediately made me change into my normal clothes again so that we could have dance classes in the ballroom. A gigantic room in the Phantomhive mansion that looked like a movie set, it was absolutely beautiful. What wasn't beautiful were my attempts to dance.

'Stop being so scared,' Sebastian said. 'Even if you fail, then you can at least say you've tried.'

'There is no 'if',' I said grumpy. 'I will most certainly _fail._'

He laughed, obviously agreeing. 'Even so, you have to try. And don't worry. Failure is impossible if you have me as your teacher.'

'Show-off,' I muttered.

'Cry baby,' was his reaction.

I sighed and decided that this conversation was going nowhere. While Sebastian was guiding me through the ballroom, which had gotten a lot easier the moment that I stopped caring about where we were going and what I was supposed to do, I decided to start a conversation that _did _have my interest. 'You never really gave an answer, you know?' I said.

'Sorry? What are you talking about?' But the smile on his face told me that he exactly knew what I was talking about.

'Demons powers,' I said. 'Do you have any?'

'You see, maybe I didn't answer the question because the question was quite vague.' He turned me around, though I was pretty sure we weren't waltzing anymore. This looked more like flying through the room.

'Okay, but if I name a power then you could them me if you possess it or not, right?' I suggested.

'Maybe,' he said, holding in his laugh. 'But you can't be certainly that I will tell the truth.'

I took that as a 'yes'. I started with the one that I really did not want him to have: 'Mindreading?'

A grin appeared on his face. 'No,' he answered. 'But as I've said before, I can read certain strong emotions.'

I look at him horrified. 'And when did you tell me that?!' I said, my voice way higher than normal because of the panic.

'Ssh,' Sebastian said. 'Don't worry. I can only read emotions when I feed of off them and right now, I'm not. So relax and ask your next question.'

Telling me to relax was about the same as feeding me a huge amount of sugar and then telling me to stay still. You know that that's not going to happen. But then I felt my panic and worry slowly leaving me and I looked at Sebastian with frowned eyebrows. 'You said you weren't feeding off my emotions.'

'And I've also said that you can't be certain that I will tell the truth,' he said and he looked at me as if there was more to that sentence then what I caught.

'Okay, okay,' I said, feeling more relaxed now. 'Do you drink human blood?'

The grin was back on his face. 'No. Some demons do like the taste and smell of human blood, but then it's merely for entertaining values. We can't feed of off human blood. And, to be honest, doing it would be a very low and ungraceful thing to do.'

Good to know that my nightmares would never come true. 'Can you predict the future?'

'Of course not.'

'Can you communicate with ghosts?'

'They do not exist. Not in the way humans think, anyway.'

I thought about that for a while, but quickly realised that it didn't interest e enough to ask more about it. 'Are you immortal?'

'To some extent, yes.'

This _did _catch my interest. 'So… how old are you?'

The grin disappeared. 'Next question.'

I frowned my eyebrows, not understanding what I'd said wrong. 'But-'

'Next question,' he said, almost sounding angry, which confused me. Sebastian was always calm.

I sighed, trying to stop my curiosity on the subject. 'Can you control emotions?'

'No. But demons are known to be very good seducers.' A seductive smile appeared on his face and proved his point. He _was _an amazing seducer. If I didn't know any better I would have thrown myself in his arms.

I shook my head, trying to get that thought out of my head. It was then that I noticed that we weren't dancing anymore. I also saw that Elizabeth and Ciel had left. When did that happen? 'What's your animal form?'

Sebastian looked surprised. 'What did you say?'

'Your animal form. You've told me you got one. I was curious what anime it was,' I explained.

He pulled up an eyebrow. 'I've also told you about my true form, my demon form. And you're more interested in my _animal _form?'

'Yes,' I said in all honesty. 'Because I know that your true demon form will either disgust or blind me, so I'd rather not know.'

He looked at me with a surprised look, as if he couldn't believe a word I was saying. 'How would you know?' he asked softly.

I shrugged. 'You're a demon. I think anyone could have guessed that a demon's true from is most likely hideous.'

'But you don't seem to care,' Sebastian said, clearly still trying to understand my way of thinking.

'Nope,' I said almost immediately. 'It's not like I get to see it one day. Worrying about an appearance I will never see is like worrying about who the president of America will be over a hundred years.'

'Crow,' he said, still looking confused. But he wasn't looking at me anymore. He looked out of one of the gigantic windows of the ballroom.

'Sorry?' I said.

He looked at me again, his red eyes looking surprisingly soft. 'A crow. My animal form is a red-eyed crow. My eye colour is the thing that never changes, no matter which shape or form.'

I couldn't help but stare in those red eyes as he talked about them. I never really thought about it before, but they were really pretty, his eyes. The long eyelashes and the colour red that looked like it lived its own live inside his eye.

I was touching his face before I even realised it. The tips of my fingers were on his cheek, slowly stroking the perfect skin. I looked at it in wonder, trying to grasp the perfection of his skin, of _him_.

'What are you doing?' he asked, for once not sounding amused.

It took me a while to answer. My fingertips trailed down to his jawline and remained there when I said: 'I'm touching you.' My fingers travelled to his lips and remained on his lower lip. I was surprised that his skin wasn't cold. It was warm, but not hot warm, but nice warm.

I would see Sebastian looking at me with a look that I didn't understand. 'And what does that tell you?' he asked.

I used both my hands to hold his face into my small hands. 'That humans are cold,' I said, letting my hands touch his perfectly soft hair.

'You're confused,' he said, suddenly sounding cold.

'Hm,' I said, agreeing with what he was saying. I really had no clue why I was touching him. I just really felt like it. 'Do we still need to… dance?'

Sebastian grabbed my wrists and pulled my hand from his face. Then he leaned forward so that he could whisper in my ears. 'I think this was enough practice for today, Madame Lane.'

The next moment, he was gone.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

After dinner, Elizabeth took me to my room again to prepare me for the so called 'ball'. But during dinner I figured out that the ball wasn't really a ball. Only I, Ciel, Elizabeth, Sebastian, the three idiots and Elizabeth's maid where invited. So the dance practice had been really unnecessary.

The hair stylist put my hair up in some sort of bun and then another woman that I hadn't seen before did my make-up. I was surprised to see that Lizzie was still wearing the exact same clothes as she'd worn the whole day. 'Aren't you going to dress up?' I asked her.

She shook her head. 'I wanted to dress you up today, but if I dressed up too, I would outdo you!' She said it laughing as if it was the most obvious reason in the world.

Gee, thanks. 'Oh, I see,' was my _way _too kind reaction.

I had to stop myself from scratching the back of my head (and ruining my hairdo in the process) when me and Elizabeth walked towards the ballroom. During practice today, I hadn't been wearing heels. And now I was wearing heels, so I would fail no matter how long I had practiced today. And I probably had to dance with Sebastian, which I really didn't want to do. Certainly not after my incident today… I mean, what the hell was I thinking?

Oh gosh. Even I was making Hell jokes now. What would be next? Asking him out? I was really losing my mind every day I was in this stupid house. But I simply had nowhere else to go.

My gloomy mood lightened a bit when I saw everyone's reaction as I walked into the ballroom. Mei-Rin's glasses almost fell of and her mouth fell open, just like Finnian and Baldroy's mouths, and Ciel pulled his eyebrows up in surprise. The only one that I didn't get a reaction from was Sebastian, but given the situation, maybe that was for the better.

I was happy when Finnian asked me to dance, because that meant that I didn't have to dance with Sebastian. At least not now. Only Finnian wasn't a very good dancing partner and without Sebastian to guide me, I was even worse. So that totally failed.

'I've told you that you weren't going to fail _as long_ as I'm your teacher,' Sebastian said while me and Finnian were sitting on a beautiful, Marie Antoinette-like bench that was standing against a wall in the ballroom.

'And I've told you that I will fail no matter what I do. Maybe we should listen to each other for a change,' I said, not sure if I was joking or not.

Sebastian reached towards me with his hand. 'Would you give me the honour of dancing with me?' he asked, clearly being overly kind.

I sighed. Lizzie was going to kill me if I didn't, so I had to anyway. Whether it was now or somewhere in the next two hours. I took his hand and said. 'Why, you can.'

Sebastian guided me to the dance floor and we were dancing before I even got the time to change my mind. He chuckled as I looked at him with a 'how the hell do you do that?'-look and I thought that he pulled me a bit closer to him, though I wasn't sure about that.

Then he made me turn, but pulled me back halfway, making my back lean against his chest. He put one arm around my waist, the other one was still laying on my hip. 'So, miss Lane,' he said, breathing in my ear. 'Are you enjoying yourself.'

'Well,' I said and I could hear that I sounded a bit out of breath. And I hated that. 'Right now I'm a bit uncomfortable,' I admitted, knowing that if he wanted to know what I felt, he could.

I laughed in my ear and then pulled me back again, making me face him. His hands were now holding the upper part of my arms. 'I'm very sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. That was not my intention.'

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'It clearly was your intention, don't try to deny it.'

He chuckled. 'Well, maybe it was. I guess you'll never know for sure.'

I pulled my arms free form his grip, which was easier than I thought it would be. But that meant that he wasn't really trying to hold me, because if he wanted to, I wouldn't be able to fight him. I knew that much. He could probably shatter my skull just by slapping it. 'I think I already got my answer,' I said, looking at Mei-Rin and Baldroy, who had taken my place on the bench. I was surprised that the three of them fitted on that small thing, but I was sure that they would break it before the end of the ball.

'Sebastian,' I heard Ciel say. I could see that Elizabeth and her maid were heading out to leave the ballroom. Ciel walked towards us, looking at Sebastian with a strange look in his eyes. 'Come and help me show Elizabeth and her accomplice the door.'

'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, immediately stepping away from me. He walked besides Ciel as the two of them walked towards the exit together.

'What are you doing?' I could hear Ciel ask Sebastian.

But I couldn't hear the answer. And I wasn't sure why, but somehow that made me feel a bit relieved. Because I was really scared to hear the answer.

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**So, that was chapter ten, hoped you liked it! Thank you all for the kind reviews! I really, really appreciate it!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Weekend is almost over, so I think chapter 12 will be online Friday or something.**

**Oh, and I won't fill in the blanks that the anime and the manga left blank ****_on purpose_****. For example: Sebastian's age.**

**And sorry for the typos, I'm not feeling to well so typos everywhere!**

**Anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 11**

'What are you doing?' Ciel asked as he and Sebastian walked towards the door. He was tired of being social, but also annoyed. Sebastian never showed any sort of interest in any human whatsoever.

'She's funny,' was his answer, which wasn't really helpful.

Ciel gave him a disdainful glance. 'Funny? Since when do you even know what that word means?'

Sebastian frowned, but only for a second. Then a small and polite smile appeared on his face. 'I'm sorry, my Lord. I just found young lady Lane incredibly entertaining. If you don't appreciate the interest that I've gained in her, you can simply forbid me to interact with her.'

Ciel thought about that for a moment. 'No. You are allowed to interact with her. When you do you seem more… human.' He grinned at that thought. Sebastian would certainly hate that remark.

But the actual reaction Sebastian gave confused Ciel. 'Is that so?' he said, his voice sounding almost sad.

xXx

* * *

><p>The next morning was the worst. I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open at school.<p>

And not only that, but I also had a test that I didn't study for because of the whole Elizabeth-thing.

I didn't join Ciel during lunch. I just sat down somewhere in the corridor and ate my lunch, that _I _made instead of Sebastian, because if he made it I'd have to go to him to collect it and I was desperately trying to avoid the guy.

I wasn't entirely sure why though. I mean, did I do anything wrong? No. But even the thought of speaking to him after I had felt his breath in my ear and his skin under my fingers was too much for me to handle.

'Hey Clarissa,' I heard someone say. 'Why are you sitting on the ground?'

I looked up and saw a classmate of mine, I thought his name was Edward, but I wasn't sure. 'Because I like sitting on the floor,' was my answer and I knew I sounded incredibly unkind.

'Oh. Aha,' was his reaction. 'Why aren't you hanging around with Ciel and his butler?' he asked and I could hear the disgust that everyone seemed to feel when they talked about Ciel and Sebastian.

'Because I'm not Ciel's lap dog. Anything else?' I asked, now being purposely mean.

Edward looked at me for a while and scratched the back of his head. 'No, I don't think so…' But it sounded like a question.

I sighed and gave him my 'you have three seconds to get the fuck out of here'-look, which he then did.

I sighed again. I really needed to work on my social skills.

xXx

* * *

><p>After school Ciel had to go to some sort of meeting with his company so Sebastian drove us to the office building of the Funtom Company. Which was an enormous building in the business part of London. Since our school and Ciel's mansion weren't in London, but in one of the smaller cities close to London, I had never seen the building before.<p>

'Wait, am I supposed to come with you?' I asked when Ciel got out of the car after Sebastian had opened up the door for him.

'Of course not,' Ciel said, 'don't be absurd. Sebastian will take you home and then return to my side immediately.' He gave Sebastian a glance. 'Do you understand?'

Sebastian made a small bow. 'Yes, my Lord.' After that he shut the car door in my face and went to sit back in the driver's seat.

Trying to ignore his existence I put on my headphone and listen to songs on my phone. I wasn't really a 'main-stream' girl and didn't really listen to popular music. I usually listened to very old music, music had the teenager of today had already forgotten. Or I listened to death metal since that had absolutely nothing to do with the classic music of the past, so yeah.

'Are you listening to Mozart?' Sebastian asked after a while, though I at first didn't catch it because of the headphones, so he had to repeat himself.

'Oh, gosh,' I said annoyed, already forgotten why I was ignoring him. 'Can you hear my music all the way up there?!'

'Yes,' he said, as if it was obvious. 'Lacrimosa, isn't it?'

'Er, yeah,' I answered. 'How did you now?'

I thought I could hear him chuckle, but I wasn't sure. 'It's God awful.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Way to go, demon, using 'God' and 'awful' in the same sentence.' But that was the moment that I realized this was a very religious song. 'Um, I can stop listening to it, if it bothers you.'

'That was a joke, Clarissa,' he said and I shivered when he used my name. 'The human who can write a song that bothers me doesn't exist.'

'Oh,' I said, disappointed. 'Do demons even have a weakness, or are they just invincible?'

'Very hard to kill, but not invincible,' Sebastian said, to my surprise. I never thought he would tell me that.

'So you _can _be killed,' I said. 'Not a very smart move to tell me that.'

He chuckled, but answered in a serious manner. 'Well, I wouldn't have told you if I thought you could do me any thing or harm.'

'I could kill Ciel,' I said, surprised by the dark tone I took. 'Then you won't have a soul to steal.'

'I would kill you before you could accomplish anything,' he said as if he was talking about doing the dishes. 'But it's not stealing. We have a contract.'

'And _what _exactly is that contract?' I asked him as I loosened my seatbelt so that I could climb to the other side of the limousine and stick my face in the small opening that was in the wall between Sebastian and me.

'I help him take revenge and protect him until his revenge his complete. Then I'm allowed to take his soul.' Again, he sounded so light-hearted about it. I mean, he _was _talking about murdering a child.

'So, if Ciel manager to take revenge... let's say, today, then you would kill him today?' I asked, suddenly scared of Ciel's cruel faith.

I could have seen the answer coming, and maybe I did, but it still shocked me to hear Sebastian say the word. 'Yes.'

'Oh God,' I said, putting a hand over my mouth in shock. 'Oh God. You… you've ruined his life!' I screamed and I could see that I made Sebastian jump, which normally would make me feel great, but right now I couldn't care less. 'He's just a kid! A KID!'

'So?' Sebastian said. He turned his head to look at me and still managed to drive perfectly. 'I'm a demon, Clarissa. When will you get that? I couldn't care less about Ciel's life or anyone else's. I get what I want when I want it and on my own conditions. Ciel had a choice, I never asked him to summon me.'

'Summon you?' I asked, still angry. 'Why the hell would Ciel summon you?!'

'Because his heart is filled with hatred,' Sebastian said, not looking at me anymore. 'A dark heart like that can summon the most powerful demons just by existing. But it was Ciel's burning desire for revenge that caught my interest.'

'So you're like the Angel of Vengeance?' I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. 'You can't be serious.'

Sebastian was already back to the smiling and amused mood that he seemed to be in most of the time. 'No, I'm not Raguel, but revenge does attract my attention.'

'Who?' I asked, having no idea what he was saying. 'Now you're just making shit up!'

'Actually, I'm not. But a mere human such as yourself wouldn't know that.' He looked back at me again, his eyes glowing with fire. 'If God didn't want us to do what we do, he would get rid of us. But he's not doing anything to stop does. Does that make us evil, the creatures who just behave according to their nature, or does that make the God that all of you seem to worship evil?'

I opened my mouth, but closed it again. I didn't know what to say. I didn't really think he was right, but I had nothing to prove he was wrong either. So I just kept quiet.

Sebastian nodded and turned back to looked at the road. 'That's all I'm saying,' he said, after ignoring me completely for the rest of the ride home.

xXx

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><p>When I got home the first thing I noticed was that there was a letter on my desk. It seemed quite official. The red mark on the envelop looked familiar, but I wasn't sure why. I opened the letter and read.<p>

_Dear Clarissa,_

_How is it going? Are you copping with your loss? Is everything okay with Ciel? Does he eat enough vegetables?_

_I want to apologize for the sudden letter, but I just got a letter from the government and they wanted me to write you into an address, but since you aren't living with me, I wasn't sure what to do._

_I've spoken with my lawyer and there are two options that both need a lot of thought and a lot of approval. The first option is for me to change addresses and come to live with you and Ciel. This, for me, is not a very great option since the hospital I work in is in London, where I currently live, and also because Ciel has said numerous times that he doesn't like the idea of me living with him._

_The second option is for you to come live with me. Since I never had the chance to have children, I have to tell you honestly that I have no idea how to be a decent guardian, certainly not since Ciel has always been quite independent, but I will do my best to be the best guardian in the world if you come and live with me. I'll make sure that Grell drops you off at school every morning, or maybe we could arrange that Sebastian comes to pick and drop you off every day._

_The only reason this doesn't apply on Ciel is because his butler is his second guardian, but my lawyer has told me to not involve Ciel into this since that might cause him to lose his current position in the company and such. He also told me that the butler himself is not completely trustworthy either, so if he were to become your second guardian there will be investigations that can cause Ciel to lose Sebastian, and I don't want that to happen._

_I'm very sorry for all the trouble, but please remember that I'm only trying to help._

_Greetings and kisses,_

_Angelina Dalles_

_(or Anne or Madame Red)_

I almost dropped the letter after I was finished reading it. I understand what the letter said, but I just couldn't imagine myself living with that lady and her strange butler.

I sighed and walked towards Ciel's office. This was his concern, not mine. If he knew a way to fix it, he could fix it. But I knew that I couldn't fix it on my own. And somewhere deep down I hoped that Ciel didn't want me to leave. But I knew that that was just wishful thinking.

'What are you doing?' I heard someone ask and I turned around to see Mei-Rin in the office, clearly just planning on cleaning it.

'Oh, I'm sorry. I was just dropping a letter for Ciel,' I explained as I put the letter on his desk above all the other ones he'd received.

'Oh, that's okay, yes!' she said, sounding sort of nervous. 'H-how was school?'

'It was okay, I guess,' I answered, giving her a polite smile. Life couldn't be easy for such a clumsy maid. I still didn't quite understand why Ciel had hired her. Maybe it was out of sympathy, knowing that a maid like her could never get a decent job. If that was true, then that made Ciel even nicer. That kid really was way nicer then everyone thought he was.

Mei-Rin looked at me as if she wanted to ask something, but even before she spoke I got the feeling that I didn't want to hear the question. 'A-are you and S-S-S-Sebastian g-getting along well?' she asked, obviously implying something else.

My polite smile disappeared. 'We get along fine,' I answered, pretending I didn't catch the subtext behind the question.

'H-h-he is quite an attractive man, yes!' she said, trying to get me to answer a question that she didn't ask.

Well, apart from the fact that he isn't exactly a man, she was right, so I said: 'You can call it that, yes.'

'Yes!' she agreed. Then I could see her blush and she bowed suddenly, making me confused. 'I will get going now, yes!' And then she left the room as sudden as she came.

I sighed deep and left the office myself, knowing that I had no farther business there.

The maid was in love with the butler. How typical.

* * *

><p>XxX<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

**Me: I want tea. Does anyone have tea?**

**Sebastian: Well, I have, but since I don't exist in your world, bringing it to you would be impossible.**

**Me: DON'T SAY THAT! Now I'm sad.**

**Clarissa: Aren't you always? I mean, look at what you put me through!**

**Me: I'm sorry, Clary, but no one in this world things that living with Sebastian is a bad thing…**

**Clarissa: Yeah, but that's not the only thing that you- … Wait. They don't? What the hell?**

**Me: They actually really, ****_really_**** love the guy…**

**Clarissa: What? They know he's a demon, right?**

**Me: Jup.**

**Clarissa: Then why the hell do they love him so much?**

**Sebastian: Because I'm one hell of a butler.**

**Clarissa: Argh, shut up. This fangirl here doesn't own Sebastian or Kuroshitsuji. But she does own me. Unfortunately.**

**Me: Enjoy the chapter! (again sorry for the typos... I know I really make a lot of them, but I'l fix that as soon as I have more time...)**

**XxX**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

Ciel called me to his office that evening. He waved with the letter as I walked up to him, standing still in front of his desk, but not sitting down.

'So the government doesn't support you living here with me without your legal guardian,' he said, clearly knowing that I knew this already. 'And since I don't want the police anywhere near my house or my staff, the two options in this letter are accurate. It's up to you what you want. Although I must admit that I do not like the idea of Madam Red and her butler living here.' He pulled a disgusted face. I really didn't understand where it came from.

'Well, the last thing I want to do is trouble you,' I said, knowing that I sounded a bit sarcastic, which made Sebastian, who was standing beside his master, give me a grin.

Ciel also caught my sarcastic tone and narrowed his eyes. 'Madame Red will be in the hospital until morning, but I'll call her as soon as her nightshift has ended. I'll talk to her about you moving in with her.'

I should have been sad that he just gave me up like that. He really didn't seem to care at all, didn't seem to _like _me. But the only thing I could think of was the fact that he was going to keep his aunt awake after an exhausting nightshift. 'Oh, no, don't do that! You can call her _after_ she has rested.'

Ciel pulled up an eyebrow. 'And why is that? This has haste, you know.'

Did he really not get it? Oh, well, it was Ciel Phantomhive we were talking about. For all I knew he didn't even realise other humans needed their rest and space. 'I get that,' I said, deciding not to go against Ciel. I suddenly felt sad and tired, as if someone had drained my energy from me. But when I looked at Sebastian, it was clear that he had nothing to do with it.

That or his poker face was just perfect enough to fool me.

'You know, Ciel, I'm tired. I leave this matter to you, okay? I'll just go wherever I'm welcome.' After I said that I waved slowly and walked out of the office.

The weird thing was that I started to cry as I walked back to my room. I didn't even know why. It just happened. I really hoped that Finnian, Baldroy or Mei-Rin weren't around to see, because the last thing I wanted was to make someone worried. Worry was an emotion that I couldn't appreciate, no matter what happened. I just always had the feeling that people didn't worry because they cared about you, but because the situation asked for them to be worried, since it was the right thing to do.

'You look awfully pathetic,' I heard Sebastian say before I saw him standing in front of my door.

I sighed. 'I really do not want to deal with you right now,' I told him as I tried to push him aside. Which, of course, didn't do anything. Geez, he was like a rock, he didn't even move an inch.

'Well, that's a shame, considering that I came all the way here for you.' I wasn't sure but I thought he sounded cynical.

'Well, that's a shame,' I said, copying his tone, 'because I'm not talking to you.'

A smirk appeared on his face. 'And yet you are.'

I moaned annoyed and considered walking away, from my own room for god's sake, but I knew that Sebastian would follow me anyway.

Then suddenly the smirk on his face disappeared. 'Where did you get that?' he asked, looking at something in my neck.

I was wearing a ponytail and hadn't realized it. I wore ponytails at home, but never at school or at another place people could see me. Because they would see the scar that was located at the back of my neck.

I quickly undid my ponytail so that my hair would cover the mark. 'Nothing. It was just some stupid thing that happened…'

Sebastian's eyes narrowed. 'When?'

I knew that he wasn't going to let it slide, so I just gave up before even trying and said: 'Well, you remember that friend I told you about?'

'Drossel Keinz, the friend who'd gone cuckoo,' Sebastian said, clearly remembering every single word.

'Yes,' I said, suddenly angry at myself for actually planning to answer the question. 'Well, the night he went 'cuckoo' he kind of… burn marked me.' I shivered as I remembered the incident. 'Wasn't sure why he'd done that, though. He said something about me being clean, or something.'

Sebastian still looked at me with narrowed eyes. 'Can I see?' he asked, for the first time sounding almost hesitant. I wasn't sure if it was the intense way he looked or the fact that he'd asked hesitant that I nodded, but I did. Sebastian approached me slowly, as if he was scared I would run away if he came too close too fast. He gently pushed my hair to the other side to expose the mark. His finger reached towards it, touching it with only the tip of his fingers. His fingers were surprisingly cold against my skin and I shivered a little, but he hold me still, making me incapable of moving.

Then he pulled away and my hair fell back in place. But he didn't step away from me. 'I'm pretty sure that friend of yours could be a lead to Ciel's revenge,' he said to my surprise. I never thought he would tell me things like that.

But the fact that Drossel could have something to do with the death of Ciel's parents seemed improbable to me. 'Drossel has been in the mental institution way longer than Ciel's parents have been dead.'

'That doesn't mean that those two aren't somehow related,' Sebastian said, clearly happy with this development.

I tried to swallow something heavy, but it didn't leave. 'You cannot tell Ciel about my mark. You can't.'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'And why not?' he asked, looking amused again.

I shook my head, even though there wasn't really a reason for it. 'Because that mark is a secret that no one should know about. I try to forget every single day.'

He looked at me like that wasn't a real answer, but he didn't say anything about it. Then he said: 'But then why show it to me?'

This question wasn't hard to answer. 'Because if you want something, you get it. Your words, right? I just gave up the struggle.'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'Oh? But I like it when you struggle.' His eyes seemed to glow. 'It's highly entertaining.'

'Is that all I'm good for?' I asked, pushing him away from me, which surprisingly worked. 'Entertaining the bored demon butler?'

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him, ignoring my attempts to get away from him. 'Well, maybe. Didn't you just say that I get what I want?' He leaned closer to me and I was surprised that he didn't bow over to my ear like he usually did. He bowed over to my neck, but not the side where the mark was. 'What's your secret worth to you?' he asked, his voice almost just a whisper.

'Everything,' I said, which was stupid and idiotic and possible the riskiest answer I could have given. What if he asked something for it that I couldn't give him?

'Hm,' he said, obviously liking the sound of that. 'I keep it a secret from my master, but in return I want…' He waited.

'What?' I said and I was happy that I sounded as strong as I did.

'Let me feed off on your emotions,' he said.

Okay, that was definitely not the answer I had expected. 'Why ask my permission? You can do that whenever you want, right?'

'Hm, not with you,' he said, his lips now at my ear. I had no idea how they got there. 'You're blocking me out.'

'I didn't even know that was possible,' I said, trying to keep my breath under control.

Sebastian grabbed both of my wrist now and pinned me against the door with a speed I couldn't keep up with. 'Neither did I,' he answered.

That confused me so much that I forgot that I was pinned against a door and seduced, and possible assaulted, by a demon. 'How can _you _not know?'

'I don't know,' the demon answered, clearly a frown in his voice. 'I don't like not knowing.'

'I don't you it that you don't know it,' I said, trying to distract Sebastian so that his hands would stop moving up and down my arms. He was just touching my arms, but it made me shiver like hell. Gosh, I should really try to escape. But that was the problem. Deep, deep, deep down, I didn't want to escape.

'Hmm,' he said, agreeing with me while his mouth slowly drew back as he straightened himself. 'But do you accept the deal?'

'Well, I think I do,' I said hesitant, 'but I'm not even sure if I can keep my side of the deal.'

An arrogant smile appeared on Sebastian's face. 'Don't worry. I'll make you. But first I have to make Young Master ready for the night. A butler who doesn't even according to schedule is not worth his salt.' After that he winked and disappeared.

I slowly slid down with my back against the door until I reached the ground. And there I stayed for a very long time.

XxX

* * *

><p>I wasn't sure when or where I had fallen asleep, but when I woke up I was in my bed, still in the clothes from the day before.<p>

I looked at the clock at saw that it was only 5 am, but since I wasn't tired anymore, I got out of bed and took a shower. Just as I was dressed and on my way to the kitchen, which I by now knew how to find, I had the feeling someone was looking at me. But I was almost certain that it wasn't Sebastian, because he gave me shivers even when he wasn't even in the room. I think I would know it if it were him.

When I turned around I saw a small, black cat staring at me as if I was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. 'Hey there,' I said, since I'd always had the strange habit of talking to things that didn't talk back. 'What are you doing in the mansion? I didn't know Ciel had a cat.' I kneeled down on the floor so that I could touch the cat, who made a soft sound before coming closer to me.

'You're so cute,' I said softly, trying to understand why there was a cat I the house.

And then I saw the cat's eyes.

Red. But not the red that you saw in vampire-films and awful horror movies.

'_My eye colour is the thing that never changes, no matter which shape or form.'_

I immediately pulled my hand back. 'Sebastian?' I said, really hoping that this wasn't him. That he wasn't some sort of shape shifter, because that would be way too confusing for me.

'Yes?' someone behind me said.

I scream a scream of shock and almost landed on the cat as I turned around while still kneeling on the ground. Sebastian stood there, smiling an amused smile and looking at me as if I was crazy.

The cat immediately walked towards him when he appeared and Sebastian pulled him into a hug that only a cat-lover would pull a cat into. 'Isn't he the cutest little thing?' Sebastian said, smiling a smile that I had barely seen before. It was a lovely smile. And I started to believe that it was the only sincere expression he ever had on his face.

'He… he has red eyes,' I said, waiting for an explanation while still sitting on the ground.

Sebastian ignored that question. 'Cats are one of the only things I actually like about the human world.'

'Okay, okay, but that doesn't explain why this cat has red ey-'

'Miss Lane,' Sebastian said, sounding stern for some reason.

'Er, yes?' I asked, suddenly feeling like a student who got caught while cheating on a test.

A smile appeared on his face as he put the cat on his shoulder. 'Don't ask question that I can't answer,' he said.

'Can't or won't?' I asked, not trusting his use of words.

He pulled a face, as if _he _was the one who got caught this time. 'Won't,' he admitted, but then he seemed to remembering something, because the smile was already back on his face. 'But that doesn't matter now, does it? Right now, you and I still have some unfinished business.'

'Okay, I'm just letting you know that that sounds a bit weird,' I said, trying to avoid the subject of reading my emotion, which was what Sebastian wanted to talk about.

'Don't change the subject,' he said, as if he'd read my mind. 'We have a deal. And since Young Master won't wake up for another hour, I think it's safe to say that this is the proper time to fulfil our contract.'

The word 'contract' made me jump. 'Contract? We never made a contract, did we?' I said, immediately covering my right eye.

He laughed and it sounded absolutely wonderful. Only I knew that I shouldn't think like that. 'Not that kind of contract. You know what I'm talking about, Clarissa. Don't avoid the subject.'

'I'm not avoiding the subject!' I said, putting my arms together. 'I just really don't feel like doing it.'

Sebastian laughed again and pulled me up, pulling harder than necessary so that I would fall against his chest. I looked up at him, annoyed. 'Are you enjoying yourself?'

'Very much so,' he said and the smile on his face was so beautiful that I wish I could take a picture with my phone and make it my wallpaper so I could stare at it every day. Wow, I really started to sound like a creep.

I guess I must have pulled a very strange face as those thoughts went through my head, because Sebastian chuckled. The cat on his shoulder still stared at me with an intense glare. But as I looked into those eyes, I realized that the red colour of those eyes didn't scare or bother me anymore, as if I had accepted the fact that creatures such as demons existed.

Oh, boy. I was slowly going cuckoo myself, wasn't I?


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm going to a concert today! ONE OK ROCK (Japanese rock band, if you don't know them, look them up, there awesome) is in Amsterdam, so of course I'm going. Here's chapter thirteen, hope you'll like it! Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing, it really makes me happy!**

**This is a bit short, so sorry about that! And again sorry for the typos! :s**

**Oh, and I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but my OC is all mine.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 13**

I wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow Sebastian managed to carry me to the kitchen and put me on the kitchen table as he started to prepare breakfast.

'I don't get it. What happened with our 'finished business'?' I asked confused while he got some eggs out of the fridge.

'Hmm,' Sebastian said. 'I thought you would like to eat something first.'

I laughed, but it sounded forced and nervous. 'You know me too well,' I said, though the moment I said it I regretted it.

'I know,' he said, not even trying to deny the fact that he knew how perfect he was. 'Pancakes?'

I didn't know why he had to ask that. 'Pancakes,' I confirmed.

Sebastian's pancakes were the most delicious pancakes on earth. Well, at least I thought so. I only ever tasted pancakes I made myself, so I didn't really have much to compare it with.

I ate two pancakes while sitting on the table, my legs over the edge of the table while I swung them up and down. When I gave the empty plate to Sebastian, he immediately put it away and approached me, trapping me by putting his hands on each side of my body. 'Well then,' he said. 'Time for you to open up.'

'Yeah, about that,' I said hesitant, 'I still have no clue how to do that.' And I rather don't find out how. Whatever I did that kept him out, it was my advantage and I'd rather not give that up.

Sebastian guessed my thoughts. 'But you didn't even try, because you like it,' he said.

'Well, of course. I don't think anyone wants to expose themselves to you,' I said, again trying to distract him.

He chuckled. 'I think the number of people who would do that would surprise you.'

'Mei-Rin,' I immediately said. 'She's obviously attracted to you.'

He chuckled again, but didn't come closer, which confused me. Usually he would have already bend over to breath in my ear or neck, to confuse me more than I already was in his presence. 'Mei-Rin has never been a mystery to me,' Sebastian said. 'That's one of the reasons I choose her.'

'_You _choose her?' I sighed and rolled my eyes. 'I should have known. You are the one who employed the three idiots.'

'Yes,' he said, smiling amused. 'They may be poor at the jobs they do, but when the house is under attack they can be very useful.'

'Oh,' I said, suddenly getting it. 'They're not just idiots. They're special too.' I frowned. 'But they aren't demons, right?'

Sebastian's smile disappeared. 'No. Everything they are is the fault of humans.' Then he cursed softly. 'You distract me,' he said, sounding pissed, but also a bit impressed.

'Jup,' I said, smiling a devious smile.

'Hmm, you're learning,' he said. 'But right now, it's annoying.'

'Sorry sorry sorry,' I said, because I didn't want to make him angry. 'But this feels really awkward.'

The smile was back on his face. 'Should I comfort you, then?' he said, finally leaning over to drive me crazy.

His gloved hands didn't touch me, but his lips touched my cheek. 'Better?' he said against my skin.

'No,' I said, trying to keep my breath under control. 'Definitely not.'

'Hmm,' he murmured, putting on hand over my head and one around my waist, pulling me into a strange hug. 'Better?' he asked, but his voice didn't sound stable either, as if he was thinking about something else.

'Nope,' I said against his jacket, trying to not smell the familiar smell of his clothes and skin.

He chuckled. 'I don't believe you,' he said, slowly stroking my hair.

It was such a father-like, calming gesture that I felt my eyes close on its own. 'Hmm,' was the only thing I said, not sure what he'd said.

'So pure,' he murmured softly, so soft that I thought he wasn't talking to me. 'So soft. So easy broken. Clarissa,' he said, his mouth somewhere above my head. 'Let me in.'

The moment he said those words I let go of my fear and distrust and it felt like falling asleep. As if I was sinking into a deep sleep. But I could feel that Sebastian had me in his grip, refusing to let me go.

'_Got you_,' he said, his voice suddenly cold and hungry.

I had to grab his arms to prevent from falling backwards on the table and I thought for a moment that Sebastian would let me go, but he didn't.

Slowly I could feel my confusing emotions leaving my head and heart. All that was left was emptiness. I didn't feel confused and I didn't felt influenced by Sebastian's presence. I was just me and nothing else. And it felt really lonely in my head.

Then the pressure in my head was gone and I knew that I could pull my walls back up. The moment I did I thought Sebastian would release me, but he didn't.

I gave him a small pat on the shoulder, but he didn't move. 'Sebas-'

'Don't,' he said and the way he said it scared me. He sounded as if he was a tiger and if I moved, he would eat me. So I just froze and waited until he release me and looked at me with a look that I didn't understand.

'We are never doing this again,' he told me.

'Er, okay? It wasn't my idea, remember?' I said, not understanding his sudden stern and cold look.

He sighed and looked at the table as if he wanted to kick the thing. 'Do you have any idea what you just did, Clarissa?!'

'Er, I thought I did, but you're reaction gives me the feeling that I didn't…' I jumped of the table, didn't want to stay there any longer.

He cursed again, obviously trying to regain his calm and cool state. 'You just almost willingly gave your soul away. And if I had been anyone else, I would have grabbed the opportunity. I would have killed you.'

I wasn't sure what to say. But when I said something, I was almost certain it was the wrong thing to say. 'Then why didn't you?'

'I don't know!' he said and the moment he said that I realized that _that _was the thing that had upset him. The fact that he could have had my soul, that he could have killed me, but that he hadn't. _That _was the thing that had messed him up.

I wasn't sure what to say. Understanding him and helping him were two different things. And I didn't think I could do either of those two completely. 'I'm sorry,' I said. 'It won't happen again,' I assured him.

I wasn't sure if it were my words or his own thoughts, but suddenly he was calm and composed again. 'No, it won't,' he said politely. 'Because the next time something like this happened, I _will _kill you.'

And I believed him.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Madame Red came with a truck as big as a house to the mansion that evening. She hugged me to death, promised me a hundred time that she would take excellent care of me while Sebastian was loading the truck with my stuff. I felt really weird to leave the mansion after living there so short. No one very moved after two weeks of living somewhere.

Sebastian didn't really say goodbye, but Ciel and the house staff did. Finnian even gave me flowers from the garden, which resulted in Ciel sighing. Apparently those flowers weren't meant to be given to someone.

It was right there and then that I saw the cat with the red eyes again. He was sitting on the side of the stairs in the garden, staring at me with his red eyes glowing. And since that cat reminded me of Sebastian, I briefly waved at the cat, so that I had the feeling that at least I had said goodbye to Sebastian.

But the cat didn't want the say goodbye to me. He jumped of the stairs and walked towards me, following me with every step I took as I walked towards the truck. It was nice to be followed, it made me feel less lonely since Ciel and the house staff had said their goodbyes inside the house.

But when I got into the truck, the cat didn't follow me anymore. And I didn't blame him. I was leaving, after all. And it seemed that no one cared enough to follow me to wherever I was going.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Madame Red's house, or Anne's house, since she asked to call her 'Anne', was smaller than Ciel's house, but it was still beautiful and spacious and in the centre of London. The room she had for me was only one room, but I did have my own bathroom at the end of the corridor. She slept downstairs, so I basically had a floor of my own, unless she had to work here, cause her office was upstairs as well as her music room, cause apparently she played piano.

In this room I had a balcony and a lot of candles. I wasn't sure why there were to many candles, but on every flat surface other than the ground a candle was placed.

I opened the window to the balcony and stood there, watching the city as the wind messed up my hair. I sighed as the cold made me shiver, embracing the harshness of the world for once.

And then the cat appeared.

At first I was convinced it was a different cat sitting on the side of the balcony, but when the cat looked at me it had the same red eyes. 'You're not stalking me, aren't you?' I asked, trying to convince myself that this wasn't the same cat, that this was just a coincidence.

But then the cat closed his eyes for a moment and I took that as a 'yes'. 'Great,' I said, officially losing my mind. 'Sebastian is sending a stalker cat. How great. And I thought I was finally free.' But it sounded like a lie. And it kind of was.

Being a girl who had never gotten any attention from no one, I had kind of liked the attention Sebastian had always given me. As if he was interested in my thoughts and cared enough to listen. It was foolish of me to think like that and I knew that, but I still did. Because it was my only happiness.

'You don't say anything, do you?' I asked the cat, petting his head while he started to purr like an idiot.

'Maybe I shouldn't say anything, too,' I said, 'then no one would hear me and I would become invisible.'

When the cat didn't react, I didn't react either. So I just pet the cat while staring at the city, trying to understand why I still cared at all.

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><p>XxX<p>

It took three days for Ciel to come and find me during lunch. I hadn't had any contact with him since I moved out and hadn't intend to do so, but when he came to sit at my empty table during lunch, I felt a little bit better. But only for a second.

'I need your help for a case,' was the first thing he told me.

'Not interested,' I said, almost angry because he dared to ask.

'Is this how you thank the boy who has saved you and given you a new home?' he asked me.

'Yes,' I said, looking up at him with the most unkind expression that I could pull. 'Does that bother you?' I asked, copying the words he'd said to me after he and I had been kidnapped.

'Yes, it does,' he said, clearly not getting that I was copying him.

I looked down at my sandwich again and said: 'Well, that's a shame, considering that it is in fact none of your business.'

I could just feel Ciel's eyes narrowing as he got the clue. 'I am very sorry, but this is a case of national importance.' He almost threw the paper in my face. 'There's a serial killer in London and his target are girls. We need you to be the bait.'

I looked at the article for a few seconds and then handed the paper back to him. 'Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not doing it.'

'National importance,' Ciel repeated, getting annoyed.

'I don't care,' I let him known. 'You can dress up as a girl and do it yourself.' Not that he would agree with that idea, but I wasn't going to help him. I was done with helping him for nothing in return. I would only help a friend if he acted like one, which he clearly didn't.

'Alright, fine,' Ciel said, standing up from the table. 'I will.' And he sounded so serious that I believed him.

Wait, he was actually going to dress up as a girl?

Dang it, I really want to see that.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

**Wait, it's Monday and I'm updating?! How odd! The plan was actually to update Sunday, but I was way too tired (and emotional damaged because of the fact that I have to wait another year for ONE OK ROCK to come back, sad, sad, sad) for that, so that didn't happen. So I decided to update today.**

**wolf-akuma:** **Thank you so much! I wasn't really happy with the previous two chapters, but I'm glad you liked it! Hearing that really makes me happy.**

**This chapter is longer, because the pervious chapters have been quite short, so this one is nice and long!**

**So we haven't followed the anime for a while… So that's happening now!... a bit. Because Clarissa is going to interfere. A lot.**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter and remember: I own my OC, but not Kuroshitsuji!**

**BTW, no I won't do a Christmas chapter. Sorry if it makes you sad, but it just doesn't fit in the story at the moment and I don't want to make some weird changes to make it fit.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 14**

Saturday was the first day in a while that I stayed inside and just read a book. I didn't even talk to anyone. How great was that?

Madame Red had to work in the hospital until late that evening and Grell went out a couple hours ago to go to the grocery store to buy everything for the weekend. I really didn't understand that Anne trusted that guy alone in a grocery store, but she apparently did. Maybe he should take some lessons from Sebastian in how to be a good butler. The only skill he got down was cooking, but he then managed to spill almost everything on the ground. But helping him cook this past week had been sort of fun, even though I thought the guy was a bit too loud and annoying.

It was half past twelve when I heard the door open and close and I went downstairs thinking it was Grell who came back from the grocery store. Which would have been nice, since I was starving and the house didn't have much food left.

But it wasn't _only _Grell who stood in the entrance hall when I walked towards the stairs, where there was a part that gave you the advantage to peek at the people who stood in the entrance hall before walking downstairs. The stairs was on the right side of the room and the living room at the left, so the aim of the guests was the other side anyway.

'Ciel?' I said, not even bothering to sound polite. 'Are you here to drag me into some sort of mission? Because I already declined and you can't-'

Ciel put his hand up without even looking at me, giving me the sigh to shut up. 'Please, Clarissa, my world doesn't revolve round you. I'm here for my aunt.'

Sebastian smirked.

'Oh,' I said, not sure what to say. Of course his world didn't revolve around me. 'But she's worki-'

He interrupted me again. 'I know she is working, that's why I came here early so that Sebastian can prepare lunch while we wait for her to return. I don't want to eat anything that disgrace gives me,' he said, looking over at Grell, who was shaking with the bags from the store in his hands. I really hoped that he didn't have eggs in there, because if this went on, he was going to drop them.

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><p>XxX<p>

Ciel sat at the head side of the table, staring at Madame Red, who was sitting at the other side. I was sitting in the middle, wondering why the hell we were sitting so far away when there were only four of us. Yes, I said four. Apparently Lau was invited to the lunch-party too. He was sitting in front of me, looking at his tea as if that was the most interesting thing in the room at the moment. I was happy that he didn't bring the girl from the time before, because I really wouldn't know where to look if she had been sitting on his lap right now.

The thing that suddenly caught my interest was the way Ciel dressed. I had only seen him in his school uniform or the suit that he'd worn at home, but this was out of this world. He wore blue, but that wasn't the strange thing. The strange thing was that he was dressed like he was a noble's son from the Victorian Period. The only reason I knew how people dressed those days was because I had done a paper about _Jack the Ripper _in Middle School. And because I watch _way _too many movies. That didn't help either.

Looking as intensely at Ciel as I'd never had before, I also noticed that he was wearing two rings, one on his left thumb – an silver piece that hold an emerald-cut deep blue stone – and the other on his right hand, a gold ring. I could have said a lot of things at that moment but the only thing I could come up with was: 'Ciel, really, we need to get you some decent clothes soon. You look like you're going to a dress up party. And not in a good way.'

Sebastian chuckled, Madame Red and Lau just straight out laughed. Ciel frowned, but then sighed and said: 'I do not particular care about the way I look.'

I chuckled, holding in another comment such as: 'I figured that out the moment I saw you wearing an leather eye-patch. What are you, a pirate?' I had no idea how I managed to keep such a comment in my head and not blur it out, but I was happy that I managed to do so.

Ciel took his tea cup, took a sip and said: 'Another prostitute was murdered in Whitechapel yesterday.' He sounded formal.

I had heard Madame Red talk about the accident before, but I never really gave it much thought. Since Ciel was apparently involved in this case in some kind of way, I started to regret that I didn't. I didn't like not knowing something while everyone else seems to know.

'These aren't ordinary murders,' he went on. _Geez, when _were _they? _I had never heard of an _ordinary murder._ 'They're bizarre… No, you could fairly call them aberrant.'

_Aberrant? Which fourteen year old kid says that?_

Lau and Madame Red had been drinking tea peacefully until this point of the conversation, but when Sebastian started to talk, Madame Red let her tea cup stop before bringing it to her lips, looking at him with a strange look in her eyes. Grell, who was standing behind her like Sebastian was standing behind Ciel, looked instantly sad. As if he had known every single one of the murdered women.

'A very special blade was used on the most recent victim, Mary Ann Nicholas,' Sebastian spoke and I had to do my best not to melt when I finally heard his voice after so long. Although I would never admit it out loud, I had missed that perfect deep and calming voice. The only problem was that this voice wasn't saying really calming words at the moment. 'She was torn apart beyond all recognition.'

The only ones who seemed to be okay with this topic were Lau and Ciel. Lau just kept drinking tea and Ciel was eating his pie. I hadn't even touched my lunch nor my tea. I had lost my appetite the moment Ciel and Sebastian had come into the picture.

Ciel took another fork of pie and stuck it in his mouth. He spoke after swallowing the bite. 'Scotland Yard and the press call this guy: _Jack the Copycat, _because he seems like a copycat of Jack the Ripper.'

Jack the Ripper? At least that was something I knew about, which was great, since I hated to be in the dark.

Even Lau stopped drinking his tea now. '_Jack the Copycat, _eh?' he said, more in a thinking sort of way than an asking sort of way.

'So I decided to take a look at the case from within London,' Ciel said, 'which is the reason I'm here. I cannot investigate the case when I'm not in the city that the crimes are taken place.'

It was silent in the room. Then, suddenly, Lau laughed softly. 'Do you have the guts to see the scene of those crimes?' he asked, making me frown. He _did _have a point. Ciel was only young. Earl or not, Queen's secret guard dog or not, seeing such a horrible thing could scar him. Then again, he'd seemed totally fine when he saw he corpse of the villager back in Barrymore. Maybe he'd already seen so many blood that he could handle a bit more of it. I knew it was the case with me.

'Ciel isn't just a kid,' I said, surprising myself. 'His eyes, or better to say 'eye', may be young, but it has seen much more than the average middle-aged men have seen these days.'

I was surprised that no one really said anything to nullify my statement, but Ciel did have a reaction on his own. 'I came here to dispel her worries. Don't ask foolish questions.'

The way Sebastian reacted made my blood turn into ice. He just looked at Ciel with that look, that heartless look that seemed so devilish that no one would have trouble believing what he is when they saw that face.

Lau didn't notice it. But he did notice the cold, emotionless look that Ciel had. 'Very nice, I like the look in your _eye._'

Apparently the heavy conversation was done, because Madame Red had continued sipping tea and no one said anything important after that.

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><p>XxX<p>

After lunch, Sebastian and Ciel went out to take a look at the crime scene, and since Madame Red, Grell and Lau were going as well, I was allowed to come along.

The street, or rather the ally, was block with police tape and police cars were blocking the main street. A few people were standing around the police tape, trying to see anything, a glimpse of the corpse maybe. I, Madame Red, Grell and Lau didn't step any further than the tape, but Ciel and Sebastian didn't seem to care. Ciel ducked under the tape and walked up to the closest police man, who looked more like an investigator since he wasn't wearing a uniform. The man seemed nice and even smiled while he talked to Ciel about something I couldn't hear. I could see that Ciel wasn't looking friendly at the man, though.

Something Ciel said obviously upset the man, because the smile disappeared and he shouted in a nervous and surprised manor, as if he was supposed to act surprised but didn't have any idea how to do that. 'Corpse? Wha-what are you talking about-'

'Abberline!' another police-man asked, making me assume that the other guy's name was Abberline. The second guy looked way less nice and had glasses that looked way too old. What the men were saying next was again something I couldn't hear and I wished that I had the guts to also ignore the police tape and join them, but I didn't want to make Ciel angry. Not because angry Ciel was scary, which he was, but not enough to scare me away, but mostly because I was scared that my punishment would somehow involve Sebastian.

The conversation didn't last long. Ciel and Sebastian joined us not long after that, but walked away from the scene was if they had a clear direction.

'What are you going to do?' Anne asked as we walked through the streets. She was walking next to Ciel and Sebastian at the other side of him, leaving me, Grell and Lau to walk behind them and trying to hear Ciel's soft and almost monotone voice. 'The best thing would be to visit him,' he answered, as if that was fairly obvious.

I sighed, hated this dramatic secrecy and said: 'Earl Phamtohive! You don't mean-' I stopped dramatically mid-sentence and put my hand against my forehead, trying to be overdramatic as well as sarcastic.

The only problem was that Ciel couldn't care less about my act. 'Indeed I do,' he said, though I think he kind of said that to irritate me.

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><p>XxX<p>

'So, what are we doing here?' I asked as I read the sigh above the small building. _Undertaker. _What the hell? Next to the door was standing an old-looking coffin with a cross engraved in it. 'Are we going to choose a coffin for the victim?' I asked, not understanding this at all.

'No,' Sebastian said, the only one caring enough to give an answer. 'This is a funeral parlor run by an acquaintance of the Young Master's.'

'Okay, I had guessed the funeral parlor thing, the coffin kind of gave it away, but if we aren't here for a coffin then why are we here?'

This was a question that even Sebastian didn't care to answer as we walked into the dark and quite frankly smelly shop. Dust and cobwebs were everywhere and I had to restrain myself from putting a hand in front of my nose and mouth because I didn't want to seem impolite, but I also didn't want to smell that strange smell and to get dust in my nose, because my sneezes were about the most ungraceful thing on the earth.

Ciel walked farther into the shop while saying: 'Are you here, Undertaker?'

Wait, _Undertaker _was literally the guy's name? How come I'd missed all those weirdoes until now?

The room was filled with coffins and for some reason I got the feeling that they were filled. The creepy, dusty cases with all sorts of fluids in them made this whole scene creepier, and the table with the white, ghost like cloth and the mirror on top of it didn't help either. And I hadn't even said anything about the dusty human-doll in the corner. You know, those dolls that you have in biology classrooms, the ones where you can take all the organs out.

To top this all of, the room was suddenly filled with creepy laughter and if I hadn't grow up in a town that was creepy as fuck, I would have screamed. Or cried. Or both.

Then the voice spoke. 'I thought you would drop by,' it said, but I had absolutely no idea where it was coming from. Then something creaked, like footsteps on an old, wooden staircase. But I quickly noticed that that wasn't it. It was one of the coffins that was slowly pushed open.

'Welcome, Lord,' the voice said, revealing the one the voice belonged to.

When I looked around I saw Lau, Grell and Madame Red close to the door, looking terrified at the man with the long, grey hair and it was covering his eyes, which made me wonder about how he was able to see. The man had extensive black fingernails and a pretty serious scar on his face, that looked like it had been from a fatal injury. His robe was black and he was wearing a high top had, a grey scarf strapped across his chest and knotted by the hips. Everything about this man screamed 'odd'. But I wasn't scared. Not like Lau, Madame Red and Grell, in any case.

The funniest thing was the fact that his voice while looking at the happy smile on his face was rather funny, not scary. I actually seemed kind of adorable in that coffin of his. 'Is today the day you'll condescend to enter one of my special coffins?' he asked Ciel, and I felt like I could almost see his eyes sparkle behind his hair.

Ciel sounded rather tired, as if he'd been in this situation way too much. 'Certainly not. Today I-'

The grey haired guy popped out of his coffin to cover Ciel's mouth with his incredible pale hand. 'You don't have to tell me. I know,' he said and I really didn't know what it was, but something about his voice was incredible funny. Or maybe it was the situation in combination with his voice. I wasn't sure. 'That wasn't the kind of customer fit for respectable people. I'll have you know, I made her beautiful.' I wasn't sure what that meant.

Then I caught Sebastian looking at me. He looked at me from head to toe and I could just see in his eyes that he was wondering why the hell I wasn't afraid of this guy. That or I was just reading too much into it and he wasn't just thinking how ridiculous I looked in my dark blue dress and black trainees. But then again, his master was dressed way worse today. Did I mention that he wore a Victorian-style coat as well? And a top hat. A. Top. Hat. Maybe he was trying to seem longer, but it just looked ridiculous.

'I want to hear about it,' Ciel said, not reacting to the man's weirdness at all.

Lau, who had gotten over the shock by now, just as Madame Red and Grell had (though Grell still looked scared to death), opened his mouth. 'Ah, I see, so the funeral parlor is your cover business. So, how much for the information?'

The man pulled the most innocent little face before almost bumping into Lau. 'I have no desire for any if the Queen's coins!' he said, almost as if he was cheerleading or something. Then he turned to look at Ciel and almost bumped into him, speaking with him while I could almost _see _the guys breath on Ciel's face. 'Come on, Earl, give it to me! Give me prime laughter! Do that and I'll tell you anything.'

From all the things I had heard once we walked into this shop, this had been the most hilarious thing to be said and I just burst out laughing.

And my laugh is the worst. I sounded like a suffocating horse. Or even worse. But the moment I began to laugh, I just couldn't stop. There weren't many moments where I could have or when I wanted to and right now, my low amount of laughing seemed to have gotten to me.

Apparently my laugh sounded so utterly ridiculous that even Ciel chuckled. But the man with the grey hair didn't just chuckle, he also burst out laughing. 'What was that?' he asked. 'That's the kind of laughter that could make anyone laugh! Ahahaha, I've seen my Utopia!' he said, now placing his face in my business. And with business, I meant _my _face. 'You are a true precious, my dear. Told I maybe hire you as a part-timer or-'

Ciel cleared his throat. 'I'm sorry, but I do believe that you said you would tell us everything.'

'Yes, yes!' he said, finally letting go of my hands that he had grabbed while breathing his breath in my face.

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><p>XxX<p>

I wasn't sure why a guy that didn't even have tea cups had tea in his parlor, but he had. This man – who everyman called 'the Undertaker' so I guess I have to call him that as well, even though it doesn't really sound like a real name – pour the tea into some of his empty bottles, but I wasn't even going to touch mine. No way in hell.

All the none-butlers had taken place on the coffins that were lying on the ground. I checked the one I was sitting on before I sat down, because I didn't want to sit on a coffin with a corpse in it.

'These days I often get costumers who are incomplete,' the Undertaker told us. He had the creepy organ-human-doll in his hands and was petting it like it was his dog.

'Incomplete?' Sebastian asked, asking for more explanation.

'Yes, incomplete… The wombs are missing,' the Undertaker answered while still petting the doll. 'Though the killer makes quite violent splatter, the wombs themselves are neatly cut out.'

Sebastian was again the one to react. The rest of us were way to shocked to speak. 'It was done on a public road, even if it was not a high-traffic one wouldn't such an excision have been difficult for an amateur, particularly in the middle of the night.'

My mind somehow wasn't shocked enough to refrain itself from making snarky comments. _Way to go, Sherlock Holmes. Does Sebastian like to play detective all of the sudden?_

The Undertaker stood up from his coffin and set the doll back to his place. 'You're a sharp one, butler. That was my opinion as well.' He walked over to Ciel, putting a hand softly against his throat. 'First, the Copycat slashes their throats with a sharp hand weapon,' his other hand went towards Ciel's belly, 'then cuts this part open and takes what's precious to them.'

With the hand that wasn't at Ciel's belly, the Undertaker poked Ciel in his cheek before releasing him from his grip. As the stood up again, not really straight, but I started to think that his guy always walked like _Quasimodo_ from _the Hunchback of Notre Dame_. 'I'm sure there will be more victims. People like that won't stop until someone stops them. Can _you _do it, oh villainous noble Lord Phantomhive?'

The only emotion that Ciel had on his face was indifference. And I wasn't even sure if that was an emotion or not. 'On the honour of my family crest,' he said, 'I eliminate anyone who defiles the Queen's garden, without exception and by any means necessary.'

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><p>XxX<p>

**So that was chapter fourteen! I loved writing the scenes with the Undertaker, I just think that guy is freaking adorable. XD**

**I probably won't post anything until Friday and I'm not sure if I will write during Christmas Break, so you'll have to wait and see (sorry)! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Wait, uploading AGAIN?! Yes, I wrote another chapter yesterday right after fourteen and wanted to upload it Friday or something, but I just thought 'why not upload it now?' I'll try to write a lot during break so that even if I don't have time, I can at least upload a new chapter once a week. Or twice a week. Or whatever.**

**Thanks everyone for reviewing! I love reading them but I do not always know a good way to answer them, so sorry if I don't. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate it!**

**And don't worry, we get to see Ciel in a dress soon enough!**

**justaislinn****: Yeah, I sometimes forget, too, actually. I keep looking for creative ways to bring in cellphones and other modern day stuff, but it's just not that necessary. Though I am planning something funny which involves Sebastian and modern day cooking utensils, so that should be interesting.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do hope that you'll like this chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 15**

When we got into the limousine, I didn't go and sit with Madame Red, Ciel and Lau. I waited until Sebastian had taken place in the driver's seat and then opened the door at the other side, climbing in the seat next to him.

The look on his face was priceless. He looked at me as if I was glowing and sparkling like a disco bowl. 'Yo,' I said, giving him an amused little smile.

He didn't really respond to that, but he did start the car without asking me to go and sit with the others.

'So,' I said politely, since I'd already decided that I was going to handle him with care and kindness. Who words that weren't really my specialty, but that didn't mean that I wouldn't try. 'Did I miss the action?' When Sebastian frowned at me, I clarified; 'Ciel dressing like a girl, I mean.'

A smile crossed the demon's face. 'No, no you didn't.'

I sighed relieved, making Sebastian chuckled. 'So when is that going to happen?'

Sebastian clearly got that I was acting nice and played along with it. 'Tonight, if he doesn't recruit you beforehand.'

'As if,' I said as the car stopped because we were at a red traffic light. 'Why doesn't he ask Madame Red? I won't do it. Certainly not.'

Sebastian shook his head as the light turned green and began to drive away from Piccadilly Circus. 'Angelina Dalles can't be our bait because she's lacking the thing that the Copycat attracts to the women.' His eyes shone in the soft like of the sun behind the clouds. 'A womb.'

I frowned. 'She doesn't have one?' I asked, surprised by this fact. I knew that Anne didn't have children, but I never would have guessed that _that _had been the reason.

'Not anymore, no,' Sebastian answered. 'Certain parts of that organ needed removal after a tragic car-incident that happened to her while pregnant.'

This information wasn't something I'd expected when I sat down next to Sebastian. 'That's…' I wasn't sure what to say. 'That's so sad.'

'It was a regrettable incident,' Sebastian agreed. 'However, it happened before I met Young Master, so I do not know much about it.'

I blinked the sudden tears in my eyes away and decided to change the topic. 'What's going to happen tonight?' I asked.

The smile was back on Sebastian's face now. 'The party of a well-known pop artist.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'Sebastian managed to narrow it down to just one suspect in just one day?' Madame Red asked as she and Ciel discussed the matter while drinking tea… again. I mean, yeah, I know we're English, but no one really drinks _that _much tea in a day, right? 'Are you really just a butler?' she asked, looking at Sebastian instead of Ciel now. 'Are you sure you're not a military intelligence officer?'

The smile on Sebastian's face told me he was going to make a hell-pun again. 'No, I am merely one hell of a butler.'

Argh, didn't he know any other puns than that one?

Ciel cleared his throat, making him the centre of attention again. 'Madame Red, knowing your influences in the high society of London, not only the nobles but also the common wealth, I need to ask a favour of you.'

Madame Red looked confused now, as if she had no idea what Ciel could ever want from her. Neither did I, to be honest. 'Of course, Ciel! What can I do for you?'

Ciel closed his eyes while he said: 'Aleister Chamber is going to have a party tonight and I need at least two invitations for that event.'

Madame Red almost chocked in her tea, Lau almost dropped his tea cup and I almost dropped my scone. 'Aleister Chamber?' I repeated, guessing that _that _had been the pop artist that Sebastian had told me about in the limousine. 'But he's a celebrity! You'll never be able to reach him! He's like a _God!_' And yes, I did own one of his cd's. Because even though I might be a bit different than the average girl in high school, I was _still _a girl. And girls _loved _Aleister Chamber.

Ciel opened his eye again. 'That's why I'm asking Madame Red's assistance. I know that you were the doctor who was appointed to his father when he got sick, so I'm sure that there's something you can do, aunt.'

Madame Red had gotten over the shock, but still looked complete surprised about the fact that the main suspect was Aleister Chamber. 'I-I'll have to make some phone calls,' she told him. After that she got up, followed by Grell.

I sighed there was no way this was going to work.

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><p>XxX<p>

Why the hell did it work?

Not only did Madame Red manage to get two tickets for Ciel and Sebastian, but she also got one for me, Grell (who only came along to drive us to the party, not to come along), Lau and herself.

As we were driving towards his house – Aleister Chamber's house! – Sebastian gave us a quick summary as of why Aleister was the main suspect while I was trying to avoid looking at Ciel, since he was wearing a pink dress that looked awfully fluffy and girly. 'Aleister Chamber graduated from medical school, but has not gone into practice. Instead, he choose to partake in a television show, which he won. After that he got offered a contract and he has been performing and singing ever since. He's thrown several parties at home, however, people say he simultaneously hold secret parties that only his intimates may attend.'

'I've heard that he's into black magic and that sort of thing,' Madame Red added, suddenly just as convinced as Ciel and Sebastian that Aleister was the one we were after. I wasn't really sure, though. I thought that Aleister had been in trouble for drugs-use a lot of times and I had seen his hands shake in television. Those hands couldn't skilfully cut anything out, certainly not a woman's womb.

Lau, who had put on a suit for the party, said: 'So you suspect that at these underground parties they perform rituals and sacrifice prostitutes?'

Ciel didn't confirm this, but he also didn't deny it. 'This is the last party before his next big World Tour,' he said as I felt the car coming to a halt. 'This is our last chance.'

As we got out of the car I started laughing. 'I'm very sorry, I just think Ciel looks absolutely horrible,' I told them. Ciel wore a light pink dress, that looked sort of like a ball gown, but for little girls. The pink hat with the roses on top of his hat didn't make it any better. And the wig he was wearing, had made it look like he had long, dark hair and covered his right eye, topped it off as utterly ridiculous. And I hadn't even said anything about the black gloves yet.

But even though the outfit was a bit too over the top, Ciel did look like a girl, and a cute one too.

I wore a dress that Madame Red had lent me. It was, of course, a red dress, but a lighter one then the one I wore back at the Phantomhive Mansion. This one was a brighter shade of red and there were black roses as a pattern on the cloth, making it look like a dress something an elegant vampire in an old horror movie would wear. I, too, wore black gloves.

'So, Ciel and Clarissa are my nieces who are visiting from the countryside,' Madame Red said as we walked towards the entrance of the house. 'And Sebastian will play Ciel's tutor.'

It _did _fit the way he looked right now. He had put on glasses, that strangely enough didn't make him look less hot, and a brown suit that just screamed 'teacher!'.

Ciel didn't look quite happy though. 'Why do I have to play the niece?' he mumbled grumpy.

'Because I refuse to seduce a celebrity so that you can lock him up in prison,' I answered, even though I knew that he hadn't ask the question to get an answer.

Madame Red leaned forward to Ciel. 'You can't let anyone figure out that you're a Phantomhive, it would disgrace your family if someone figured out that the family's head was dressed like this,' she said, just loud enough for me to hear. 'And, please, act innocent, I heard that Aleister likes that type of girl.'

Ciel still looked like he wanted to run away. It was a very entertaining face to watch.

It was clear that Sebastian thought so too. 'Didn't you say you would catch this criminal 'by any means necessary'?'

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><p>XxX<p>

The party was huge. I had no idea how Ciel was ever going to find and seduce the guy, because I doubted that he even _was _here. I mean, this house was gigantic and it was full of people wearing ridiculous over the top outfits.

Sebastian was walking between me and Ciel as we walked through the seemingly endless crowd of people. 'Frist we must find Aleister,' Sebastian said, as if that would be easy.

Ciel didn't appear to be listening to him. 'I really hope Elizabeth will never see me in an outfit like this…' he mumbled.

I hold a laugh. True, she would freak if she saw her true love dressing all cute and girly. Maybe she would even faint. But then I pulled a face when I heard a way to familiar voice coming through my ears.

'Oh, that dress is so cute!'

Me, Sebastian and Ciel froze instantly. Immediately turning around as soon as we were over the shock. _Speak of the devil. _

There, talking with to beautiful women, was Elizabeth.

_Oh crap._

It might have been funny when Ciel had said it, but I really did not want to let Elizabeth see me either. She would probably be said that I didn't wear the dress she gave me. 'There are so many lovely dresses here! How cute!' Elizabeth said and I noticed that she too was wearing red today.

We turned around again, making sure that she hadn't seen us. 'Sebast-' Ciel began and I could hear the panic in his voice.

'Young Maste- Mistress, please calm down,' he said, giving me a look that showed me that he wasn't sure how to handle this situation either.

Then the voice we'd all heard was directed towards us. 'Oh my!' Elizabeth said. 'That girl's dress is absolutely adorable!' I was hundred percent sure she was talking about Ciel's dress.

Sebastian grabbed my arm and Ciel's and tried to smuggle us away from Elizabeth, making us disappear in the crowd. This time the crowd was our advantage, because it wasn't long until Elizabeth lost us.

Sebastian sighed. 'This isn't good. I had no idea Lady Elizabeth would be here…'

Ciel still looked panicked. 'If anyone saw the head of the Phantomhive family dressed like this,' he started, making me feel sorry for the guy.

'That would stain the Phantomhives for generations,' Sebastian said, though I was not sure why. If he had a saying in it, the Phantomhive family wouldn't even have a next generation. Ciel would be dead before he could even think about having children.

I sighed, rolled my eyes and said. 'Go and change. I'll go and seduce mister Chamber,' I said as I tried to understand what I'd just said.

Ciel looked at me with a surprised look, but – of course – didn't protest. 'Sebastian, I order you to stay close to her and protect her if necessary. Let no one touch her in any harmful way, understood?'

'Yes, my Lady,' he said, still teasing his master.

I was kind of surprised that Ciel gave Sebastian orders to protect me. This was once again prove that Ciel wasn't that bad. He was way kinder then he thought he was and he cared way more than he thought. Maybe I should be nicer to him in the future.

Ciel disappeared in the crowd, aiming for the exit as Sebastian looked at me with a 'what now?' look in his eyes. 'Let's just join Madame Red and the others,' I suggested as he just kept looking at me like that.

Madame Red was enjoying herself just fine. She was sitting in a large, green chair and laughed while surrounded by a couple men. 'No need to stand on ceremony for me!' she said, swinging with her whine glass.

I pulled up an eyebrow. Seriously? No wonder that Madame Red also got an invitation for herself, she seemed to enjoy herself more than I probably would.

Suddenly, Sebastian grabbed my arm. 'This way, my Lady,' he said leading me to a less crowded place at the end of the room. There, in the corner, was a familiar face that was talking with a group of men, who all looked rather business like.

Aleister Chamber. The pop artist with the godlike features, the perfect blonde hair and the dreamy violet eyes.

I tried to stay calm, but my inner fangirl screamed inside me, trying to get out so she could jump the man. 'How am I supposed to get close to him? He's completely surrounded with-'

Sebastian pushed me over, making me trip and fall down. When I looked up with the intention to death-glare him, he was gone.

'My oh my,' a familiar voice said, closing in on me. A hand appeared in front of me, helping me get up. 'That looked like a nasty little fall,' Aleister Chamber sad, still holding my hand even though I was standing straight again. 'Are you okay, miss?'

I looked around and saw Sebastian leaning against the wall, quite a bit away from me. He looked at me, but I noticed that he didn't smile. He just stared.

I looked back at Aleister, realized that I was ignoring his question. 'Yes, I'm okay. Thank you for asking.' I had watched enough movies to know a little bit about seduction, but I felt like I had forgotten it all.

He smiled and brought my hand towards his lips, kissing my hand as if I was a princes. My inner fangirl almost fainted. 'And are you having fun?' he asked, my hand still close to his face. 'My dear lady?'

I managed to put a smile on my face. 'It's a wonderful party. I'm very impressed,' I said as he slowly let go of my hand. 'But it's even more wonderful now that I have the opportunity to talk to you, mister Chamber.'

'Oh?' he said, clearly fishing for more compliments.

I glanced over at Sebastian again and through some strange form of communication I managed to figure out what I was supposed to say now. 'I'm tired of eating and dancing. It seems that's all we do these days isn't it?' I said, trying to copy that high and mighty sort of tone that Ciel sometimes used.

The smile on Aleister's face widened and he came closer to me, putting an arm around my waist as he pulled me closer. 'What a pampered little princes you are, my dear lady.' The hand on my waist slowly started to travel down as he said: 'So you want something more amusing to do?'

Suddenly this guy grossed me out. Did he seriously think he could do that to me? Who did he think he is? My inner fangirl tried to change my mind, but I was already pissed. The thought of Sebastian and Ciel kept my rage in, though. I even managed to say another awful line of dialogue: 'Do you happen to know something more amusing, mister Chamber?'

How he released my waist, out only to cup my chin into his hand. 'But of course, my dear lady. And I'm willing to show you.'

I wasn't sure if this was going the way it was supposed to go or not. 'What is it?' I asked, cursing him and myself and Ciel and Madame Red and Sebastian and anyone who could have done this instead of me.

'Do you want to know?' he asked, making my life really difficult at the moment.

'Yes, I'm very interested,' I said, even though it felt like I'd said that more than enough already. I looked over at Sebastian again, only to find that he had disappeared. Where did he go?

Aleister turned my face back to him. 'What has gotten you so distracted?' he asked me.

I really wasn't sure what to do. 'I'm just so bored, mister Chamber, so bored. So… pretty please?' Ugh, I can't believe I just said that.

The smile on his face was now just made of arrogance. 'All right, my dear lady.' He grabbed my arm and leaded me out of the room, into a dark hallway that led to some stairs. At the end of the stairs was a door, that led to another dark room.

'Come in here,' Aleister said as he held the door open for me.

I stepped inside. The dark room let to another door and another room. As we entered the next room, Aleister smiled almost like how a child smiled when he got a new doll to play with and said: 'We're going to a very nice place, quite amusing.'

He closed the door behind me and the first thing I noticed was the strange, sweet smell.

_What the hell's up with this sweet smell?_

That was the last thing I thought before passing out.

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**And that was chapter fifteen, hoped you liked it!**

**Yeah, I made Aleister a pop star. I just thought that, in modern day setting, that would be a more fitting thing for him to be. Haha, I can see the concerts now. 'Did you all pay to come and see me? I WOULD TOO!'**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello, hello, hello everyone!**

**Sorry, I'm a bit too happy; too much sugar :)**

**And the reviews also make me so happy! I love hearing that you like it! (wow, that sounds like a really bad sentence…)**

**Here's chapter sixteen and I'm certain chapter seventeen will we up tomorrow, maybe even chapter eighteen if I keep writing and writing and writing…**

**I don't really know why, but I had a lot of trouble with writing this chapter. The hardest part about this story is to keep Sebastian truthful to his personality while also developing feeling for Clarissa. I can't even imagine Sebastian in love, let alone write him! So yeah, that was the hardest part.**

**Oh, and sorry for the typos, I'll just keep apologizing, because I just don't have the time to correct all of them! I usually write before I go to sleep and if I don't sleep enough, I can get really, ****_really, _****tired.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 16**

'Sebastian, where is Clarissa?' Ciel asked, dressed in his normal attire now.

'I promise you that she isn't being touched in any harmful way at the moment,' he answered, not looking his master in the eye.

'Sebastian?' Ciel asked, because the way his butler acted didn't seem natural.

That was the moment that Madame Red also noticed Clarissa' absence. 'Where is my cute niece?' she asked, looking at Grell as if he would know.

Which strangely enough he did. 'S-s-she followed a y-young m-man n-n-not t-to long ago,' he said with great difficulty.

Ciel turned back to his butler. 'And you didn't follow her?!' he asked, angry. 'Why didn't you obey my order?'

'You didn't force me to obey,' he said. 'And keeping her save would in no way help your safety. So I decided to let things unfold.'

Ciel was now drained with worry, but still trying to keep calm as the party was still busy. 'What are you talking about? Do you _want _her to die?'

The demon finally looked at his master. 'Yes,' he said and there was no doubt that he was speaking the truth.

'But… why?!' Ciel couldn't understand. Sebastian never acted like this. Sure, there were times Sebastian thought about killing the house staff or Grell for that matter, but he never actually put those thoughts into actions. What was wrong with him?

'Because she interests me,' he answered, looking at him with burning eyes. 'And that interest might make me lose my goal. She's a nuisance and it's best if she's gone.'

Ciel was starting to get mad. 'Gone? Sebastian, you don't get it do you? _You like her! _That doesn't mean that you have to kill her!'

'Yes, I believe it does,' Sebastian said. 'But I'm not killing her.' A smile lowly appeared on his face. 'Someone will do that for me.'

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_Clarissa's POV_

I woke up hearing the sound of a lot of people whispering to each other, as if I was at some sort of party. I realized that my hands were tight and that I was blindfolded. Great. I was tight up again. Hanging around Ciel had that influence on me.

Aleister's voice rose above the soft whispers. 'And now, what you've all been waiting for: tonight's crown jewel.'

I guess that with 'tonight's crown jewel' he meant me. Hmm, that was actually quite flattering.

I was still blindfolded, but now I could see light from under the blindfold, as if someone had opened the curtains in the room and sunlight was coming through.

Fascinated sounds were made as – supposing – I was revealed.

Aleister spoke on, which a ridiculous mysterious voice. 'You may enjoy her as a decoration, or make a pet of her. I imagine she'd even make an attractive part of a ceremony.'

No, 'she' most certainly would not. 'She' is going to go home and take a bath and a lot of chocolate to forget this every happened. Why wasn't Sebastian coming for her?

'Or if you can to sell her parts individually, that's up to you,' Aleister said, making me pull a rather unattractive face. No, no 'you' cannot sell 'her' parts individually. No, no, no, no, definitely not.

But something wasn't right. If this was the man we were after, why was the womb the only part of the women that was missing? That's pretty weird.

Suddenly, Madame Red's face flashed through my mind. Kind of strange that she – the doctor – was surprisingly save for the Copycat. Now that I thought about it… Grell always went to pick her up at the hospital around twelve 'o clock, but then they would arrive back home at the time I got up, which was around eight 'o clock. Where did they go, those eight hours between?

Oh. No. That was impossible.

As people started bidding on my, I started to panic. I felt that my blindfold was removed, but seeing the room full of masked people didn't help. I just wanted to escape. This may be illegal as well, but it was not the man we're after. Or the _wo_man we're after.

'Sebastian!' I screamed, making everyone in the audience look confused, asking each other who this 'Sebastian' was.

No answer.

What was happening? Where was he? Didn't Ciel order him to protect me?

Suddenly, Sebastian's words flashed trhough my mind, making me more and more scared every time I heard my brain repeat those words. _'I'm a demon, Clarissa. When will you get that? I couldn't care less about Ciel's life or anyone else's.'_

Oh no.

I was going to die, wasn't I?

'Sebastian!' I screamed again, but no one answered.

Then, suddenly, the light went out, followed with screams and shocks. I heard Aleister say: 'What's going on?' But I couldn't see anything.

I thought that this meant that Sebastian had come for me.

But he wasn't the one standing in the middle of the room when the lights went on again. The audience was laying on the ground, all unconscious. That part didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was the man dressed in white, who was looking at me as if I was his most precious possession. His face reminded me of Sebastian's, his features were flawless, but his hair was white as snow. His eyes had a familiar, purple colour.

'Good grief,' the man said. 'You're truly good for nothing but getting captured.' He laughed. 'You used to be such a helpless little worm before too.' He walked up to me, ignoring the only man left standing.

Aleister Chamber.

'I'm sorry,' I said as the man helped me out of the cage and cut the robes that tight me. 'Do I know you?'

A smile that reminded me so much of Sebastian's that they looked like twins appeared on the young man's face. 'Most certainly not, but our paths have crossed before. And will cross again.' He softly pet my head and again looked at me with those loving eyes. They made me feel very uncomfortable.

'Well then,' the man then said, sighing as he helped me stand up. 'We have to take care of this horrible case.' He pointed towards Aleister. 'You. Will. Be. Punished.'

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I wasn't sure how I got there, but the next thing I knew I was sitting in the police office, staring into friendly eyes, that looked like a mixture between blue and violet. 'Are you okay, miss? You seem rather in shock,' he said and I realized I had seen this man before. He was the police officer that Ciel had talked to on the streets.

I realized that I was wearing a shock blanket and that I had a cup of… coffee? in my hands, but I didn't remember how I got here, or what me and this man were talking about. 'I want to go home,' I told him, since that was the only thing that came to mind right now. Home, a bed to sleep in. But what I needed the most was the thing I was most scared to admit.

I needed a parent.

But I had nothing left.

Certainly not now I knew that Madame Red was probably the one responsible for those killings…

Oh no.

'I _need _to get to Ciel!' I screamed, letting the cup of coffee fall on the ground and throwing the blanket off me. 'You need to bring me to him!'

The man looked confused, but also out of options. 'I'm sorry, but I can't jus-'

'It should be fine, right?' a voice asked from behind me. When I turned around I saw the man dressed in white standing there, smiling a smile that no one could _not _fall for. Man, that guy was like a white Sebastian. 'Since I'm her legal guardian, I can take her there and watch over her.'

My legal guardian? Since when? But I was way too happy that I got what I wanted, so I didn't object.

The policeman started to sweat, still unsure on what to do. 'Er, I guess… I just don't…'

The man in white laughed. 'If you have anything else to ask, you can just call me, right? You have my number.' And then he grabbed me and pulled me with him, ignoring whatever the policeman as going to say.

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'So… who are you?' I asked, changing my question from before. The man had somehow managed to take the shock blanket with him as he dragged me and seeing as I was quite cold in my dress, I had put it around me.

The man smiled a polite smile as he drove to the Phantomhive mansion. 'Ash Landers,' was his answer, but I knew that he knew that that wasn't the only thing I wanted to know about him. 'And you can see me as your guardian angels.'

'Angels do not exist,' I said automatically.

The smile on his face became wider. 'Maybe they don't, maybe they do. That's something only God would know for sure, isn't it?'

I didn't understand what that was supposed to mean, so I just ignored it, being too tired and confused to say anything. 'Why are you helping me?' I asked.

The smile on his face disappeared for a few seconds, but came back before I could worry about his reaction. 'I used to know your mother very well, she was a very clean and beautiful woman.'

Very clean? What did that mean? Was that a compliment? But the fact that he'd known my mother meant that he was probably older than I thought he was.

'I promised her I would look her after you if she for some reason could not do such a thing,' he explained. 'So you are under my protection. I'm very sorry that I haven't contacted you before, but the Phantomhive boy and his butler took good care of you. Madame Red also takes care of you, but I think you don't want to live with her anymore, am I correct?'

'Yes,' I answered, understanding less and less. How did this guy know all that kind of stuff.

Suddenly, he gave me a letter and I realised that we had reached the mansion. 'The house staff is asleep, but I'm sure Ciel Phantomhive will return shortly. Can you give him this letter for me?'

It looked like an official letter, not like 'noble' official, more like 'government' official. 'What does it say?' I ask.

The man smiled and pokes my cheek with his gloved hands. 'That's a secret. Do not open it, okay?' he said and his smile made it impossible to refuse.

'Okay,' I answered, getting out of the car as he drove away in the darkness.

What a strange guy. But not evil, no, I didn't think he was evil. And even if he was, he probably wasn't after me, but after Ciel. Ciel, who was going to lose his aunt if my suspicion were correct.

But… why?

Why would she do that? What would she gain from doing it? And was Grell helping her? I think not, that guy couldn't even kill a spider.

I walked through the gigantic garden until I reached the front door. Ash Landers had been right; the night were off and the door was closed. I didn't want to wake up anyone, nor did I know a way to do so, so I just sat down in from of the front door waiting for Ciel Phantomhive and Sebastian Michaelis to come home.

But the only thing I could think about was the fact that Sebastian wasn't the one who had saved me.

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_POV change_

'So Aleister Chamer has been caught,' Ciel said as he, Sebastian, Lau and Madame Red were sitting in the car on their way to Madame Red's house, since that was the place where Ciel's car was parked.

'Yes, it appears so,' Madame Red said. 'And we weren't even necessary.' She sighed. 'Are you sure that Clarissa is okay?'

Ciel nodded, knowing that Madame Red would believe any lie he told her. 'She went with Elizabeth since she requested a sleepover. She should be fine. Sebastian will go and pick her up in the morning.' He gave Sebastian a glance, who looked back with a 'I will take care of it'-look. It had become clear to the both of them that she didn't die. But her location was currently unknown.

'But it seems like victory is ours,' Lau said, making everyone frown, because victory wasn't supposed to feel this empty.

It was true that they hadn't done anything and that was what had raised Ciel's concern. He didn't understand who had caught Aleister, but he did know that it was impossible for Clarissa to have done it on her own. He knew she was quite capable, but not _that _capable.

He sighed and looked at his hands, trying to understand why he felt as if he had lost something. _Remember, Ciel, you can't lose something if you've got nothing to lose, _he thought to himself, almost immediately correcting himself. He _did _have something to lose. His hatred and burning desire for revenge.

But he was quite sure that not a force in this world could take that away from him.

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'Young Master?' Sebastian suddenly said. 'We've arrived.

Ciel looked up, only his gigantic mansion. He hadn't even noticed that Sebastian had pressed the button that opened up the gate in front of the mansion.

Sebastian held the car door open while Ciel stepped out. The first thing he noticed was that there hung a strange smell in the air, something sweet. The second thing he noticed was a bundle of human laying in front of his front door.

Clarissa was laying there, hugging a blanket that looked like shock blanket. In her pale, fragile hands she was holding something, a letter and Ciel recognized the red mark on the letter, making him pull it out of her hands to study it. His name was on it and it was definitely a letter from the Queen, so why did she have it?

Ciel looked over at Sebastian, who was frowning while looking at her. 'What do you want to do with her?' Sebastian asked.

Ciel sighed. 'Carry her inside,' he said as he opened the letter and started to read the most surprising letter he'd ever gotten from the Queen.

Sebastian picked up the girl, who felt so cold that he was certain she'd been laying there for at least an hour, and carried her inside while his master read the letter she'd carried with her. Waiting for his master next command he stood in the entrance hall, waiting for Ciel to finish reading his letter.

'Oh,' Ciel said frowning. 'How… odd.'

'What is it, Young Master?' Sebastian asked, keeping his voice low because he did not want to wake Clarissa up.

Ciel sighed and Sebastian frowned as he pulled up his eye-patch and looked at his butler with glowing eye. 'This girl is under protection of the Queen. I order you to treat her befittingly and to always help and protect her, unless I'm in greater danger. I will stay your top priority, but she will be one too, understood?'

Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment, not wanted to say the words he usually enjoyed saying. 'Yes, my Lord.'

Ciel put his eye-patch back. 'Good. Now go and put her in a bed. And make sure she eats something when she wakes up. She doesn't look too good.'

'Maybe it the shock,' Sebastian suggested.

Ciel didn't really want to think about this now. He really didn't want to be bothered with Clarissa either, but the Queen's commands were the Queen's commands. It did bother him, though. Maybe he should've asked her more questions than he had up until now. 'I'll be in my room waiting for your return,' he told Sebastian and after that he left the entrance hall, holding the letter as if it was his downfall.

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_Clarissa POV_

I felt familiar arms around me and smelled a familiar smell, but I couldn't help but be sad. There were the arms I had wanted. But they were too late.

As someone put me into a soft surface – a bed? – I tried to grab the person that had put me there, trying to grab _him._

'Sebastian?' I said, knowing that I sounded half-asleep. I somehow managed to open my eyes, but everything was blurry and dark.

'Yes,' I heard a familiar and oh so sweet voice say. The tears that I'd kept in for so long finally escaped as I heard that voice.

'I thought you would be the one to save me,' I said as the tears kept falling down. I don't know how, but I did manage to sit straight and I pressed my face against his chest, trying to understand what I was doing. 'But you didn't come.'

Sebastian grabbed me and pulled me away from him, laying me down on the bed again, not saying anything. 'Go to sleep, Clarissa,' was the only thing he said, but it sounded so cold that it only made me more sad.

'I really hoped that it would be you,' I said, even though I knew I would've never admitted that if I wasn't half asleep. I wasn't even sure if I'd even said it out loud.

But then his reaction came and at that moment, I didn't even care about what he was saying, I was just happy that I could hear his voice.

His voice almost sounded emotionless, cold. As if he was just stated facts, or accusing me of something. Yes, it definitely sounded like he was accusing me of something. 'That day, you managed to take all your walls down, also the walls that protect your soul. Why can you control the things that no human is even aware of? Why do you interest me? And why were you laying in front of the door smelling like a pure creature such as an angel? What _are _you, Clarissa Lane?'

But I was already too far gone to give him an answer.

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**So that was chapter sixteen. I'm sorry that it wasn't Sebastian who saved her, but I was just thinking about what Sebastian would do in a situation where he's starting to gain feelings for someone. Sebastian seems to me like a person who would find that troublesome and just wants that person out of the way so that he can do his job.**

**This is also the first chapter that I hint towards her background story and her possible connection to Ciel and Sebastian, which may be a bigger connection then they first thought. But hey, it's only the beginning, so anything can happen!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter seventeen! YEEEEEAAAAHHH!**

**Okay, that was my weirdness for today. Or maybe it wasn't. I'm just happy because I don't have to go to school anymore!**

**Well, at least for two weeks. After that I have to go back. Blegh.**

**Anyway, enjoy chapter 17 everyone!**

**(Still don't own Kuroshitsuji BTW…)**

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**Chapter 17**

That night I dreamed about something that looked more like a memory.

It was me and Drossel and we were sitting by the lake close to my grandmother's house. We used to sit there often, because I never wanted to be inside and he never wanted to do anything active, so we'd always end up at the lake, just throwing stones into the water, looking at the water and talking about stupid stuff.

But in this dream, I wasn't a little girl. I was older and he seemed to be as well. But he wasn't crazy in my dream. He was the Drossel that I'd always knew.

'Drossel, do you know what love is?' I asked as I threw a stone into the water. 'Papa told me he could never love me because all his love went into my mother and because she's gone, his love is gone. Does love work that way?'

Drossel had pulled his legs up and had wrapped his arms around them. He always looked like he was cold, but also always looked like he was scared. 'I think loving someone if caring for someone. Thinking about someone when you do not expect it and wanting them to be happy no matter what. Something like that.'

Now I pulled my legs up too, wrapping my arms around them just like he had. 'Really? I've never experienced anything like that.' I frowned. 'Does that mean that I am a demon who cannot love?'

Drossel shook his head. 'Demons can love. They just choose not to.'

I looked at him, curious about that he meant. 'How do you know that? Does the Bible say that?'

Drossel smiled and looked at the lake as he said: 'I don't know. I haven't read the bible. But I know that demons can love. Because demons are fallen angels and some of them fell because they fell in love with humans.'

I gave him a little push. 'As if angels would ever fall for us!' I said, laughing like the child I was back then.

'Angels are perfect, immortal creatures,' Drossel told me. 'Therefor, perfect and immortal are common and not special. We like beautiful people because their special and they can like us because, from their point of view, we are. I once heard that demons are attracted to flowers because they fade away. Something had fades like they never will interests them.'

I looked at the lake as I said: 'Yeah, but interest is not love.'

'That may be true,' he admitted, but his voice sounded strange. 'But who says that interest can't grow into love?'

As I turned to Drossel to see why his voice sounded so strange I didn't look into Drossel's blue eyes. I looked into Sebastian's devilish red eyes and they glowed and looked like the eyes of a cat, ready to devour me. 'Maybe you should run, Clarissa. We both know that your time is running up. And I won't be here to save you when your clock stops ticking…'

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I woke up seeing two red eyes awfully close to me.

I screamed and rolled back, getting trapped in my blankets as I fell of the bed on the ground. I moaned as I got up, looking at the one to blame.

'Jesus, you sneaky little thing,' I said, looking at the cat as he observed me curiously.

I climbed back on the bed and pet the cat, seeing how he got closer to me, almost trying so hug me it seems. I small smile appeared on my face. 'At least you don't hate me,' I said as I pulled the cat on my lap, which he allowed, to pet him while also sitting comfortable.

I heard the cat purr and it calmed me down and I even closed my eyes for a while, cherishing this quiet and peaceful moment. Softly I started to hum a song and I wasn't even sure what song it was, but it made me feel even more at ease.

'Humming Agnus Dei? You're really trying to piss me off, aren't you?'

For a while, I thought it was the cat who said that. After I while, of course, I realized that that couldn't be possible, so I opened my eyes to look at Sebastian as he stood before my bed. 'Appearing before me this early in the morning?' I said, copying his tone. 'You're really trying to piss me off, aren't you?'

Sebastian didn't react to that, but he did put his hand out to the cat, who immediately run towards his master.

'Jup, you're really trying to piss me off,' I said, surprisingly grumpy and even angry. My sadness from yesterday because Sebastian hadn't saved me had changed into being angry at him. I knew that I really didn't have a reason, he had no obligation to save me, but I still felt betrayed. But most of all annoyed.

'Well, you are all sunshine and rainbows today,' Sebastian said as he pet his cat. 'Do you want to eat some chocolate? Or some medicine?'

It took a while for me to realise what Sebastian was suggesting. 'Very funny, but I'm one of those few girls who doesn't have to worry about stuff like that,' I said as I got out of the bed. 'I can't get pregnant, so everything that comes with that also doesn't count for me.'

Sebastian frowned. 'What?' he asked and I really didn't understand where the sudden serious tone in his voice came from. Was me being sterile such a serious matter to him?

I again felt the weird desire to tell him the truth, whether I was angry at him or not. 'I have a bit of a strange body, I'm often sick. One time when I was fourteen I was in the hospital because I was sick and they didn't know the reason and then during one of the researches they found out that I was sterile. It doesn't really bother me, really.' My words sounded like a waterfall of nonsense, but I wasn't sure how to explain it.

Sebastian's eyebrows rose as he seemed to think of something. Then his face was normal again and an amused smile appeared on his face. 'So that's how it is… how… interesting.'

'Er, sorry?' I asked, not sure about how my condition was 'interesting'. This whole mysterious attitude was starting to freak me out.

He smiled at me. 'No, it's nothing.' But that smile om his face way to innocent to believe.

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><p>XxX<p>

When I was finished showering and went to Ciel's office to thank him for taking care of me, Sebastian suddenly appeared at my side. 'Be careful with him, miss Lane. After the newspaper from this morning he's been quite… unbearable.'

I nodded, kind of expected it. 'Because the Jack the Copycat-case isn't closed yet,' I said, because 'thank you' wasn't the only thing I wanted to say to him. He needed to know about my suspicion, even if it meant that his aunt would go to jail.

Sebastian frowned. 'How do you know?' he asked.

I looked at him and I knew that the smile on my face looked forced and sad. 'Because I had a feeling that it wasn't over yet.'

Sebastian actually looked impressed. Ugh, I should take a picture, but my phone was still at Madame Red's house, since I had left it there when we went to the party. I realized that that meant that I would probably miss the newest updates and that I would hear all sorts of stories Monday at school that I didn't know because I didn't have my freaking phone! Argh! Not that I had friends to talk about that stuff, but I hated it when people were talking about someone's death or a wedding that I hadn't heard about. It just annoyed me.

'I don't know what's going on, but you do not seem to be in the best of moods today,' Sebastian said, obviously trying to be nice.

'I want my phone!' I whined.

'That surprising,' Sebastian said, 'since I never see you on your phone.'

Ah. He was right. But that was because if Sebastian was close to me, I had better things to do. Such as listen to Ciel as he threatened me. Or listen to Sebastian as he skilfully seduced me. Or stare at Sebastian when I wasn't paying attention to my own thoughts.

But there was no way that I was going to tell him that.

When I reached Ciel's office, Sebastian was suddenly gone. I swallowed my sudden nerves and knocked on the door.

'Get lost!' I heard him scream, but I rolled my eyes and pushed the door open.

'Getting lost in this house is _so_ two weeks ago,' I told him as he dead-glared me, making me want to roll my eyes again. 'Geez, lady. I just came to thank you for helping me,' I said, trying to which my grumpy and easily annoyed mood into a kind one. Not with any success, but at least I tried.

'Well, you _were _laying in front of my front door,' he said, staring at the paper as if it was his testament.

'Yes, yes, sorry about that,' I said, suddenly blushing like an idiot.

'It's fine,' he said. 'From now on I will make sure to take excellent care of you.' He looked up. 'You won't be put in such a dangerous situation ever again.'

While he was looking determined at me like that and was saying words that I needed to hear so badly, I started to understand – even if it was just a little bit – why Elizabeth had fallen for this boy. The only problem was that I knew not to trust his words completely. 'And what made you think like that?' I asked, certain that there was something that made him think like that.

'You're under the Queen's surveillance now,' he answered. When I looked at him with the most surprised face I could pull, he sighed and said: 'I bet you didn't even know that she knew you existed.'

'Nope,' I said, still staring surprised into the distance. I wasn't sure what to think of this. The Queen, looking out for _me? _Why? Suddenly the face of the man in white appeared in my mind and I shook my head. He wasn't the Queen, how did he end up in my thoughts?

Ciel sighed again. 'Was that everything you wanted to tell me?' he asked, back to looking troubled at the paper again.

I swallowed and opened my mouth numerous of times, but every time I closed it again, not sure of how to say it. Then, finally, words came out: 'Well, Ciel… It's about the Copycat-case,' I started, but then I didn't go on, once again unsure.

'What is it?' Ciel asked, not entirely listening since it was clear that he didn't believe that I could find something that he hadn't.

'I think I might have a potential suspect,' I said, trying to find words to say this in a way that my heart wouldn't break, trying to find a way to say it without hurting him.

'Oh, really?' he said, clearly not believing me. 'Let' hear it then.'

I closed my eyes for a while and took a deep breath before saying: 'Madame Red.'

Ciel didn't look up, but froze. 'What did you say?' he asked, sounding strangely aware.

'Madame Red had been acting kind of strange,' I said, not sure how to explain it. 'And Grell always goes to pick her up in the middle of the night, but they don't return 'till morning. I just think that that's really suspicious.'

'I do believe I agree with her on the point that Grell is a very suspicious matter,' Sebastian said, suddenly appearing behind me, making me jump. His word choice was a bit strange.

'Ah, is that so?' Ciel asked. 'Then we will follow her tonight. Sebastian, find out when her night shift ends and make sure to have everything ready by then. We will follow Grell when he goes to pick her up, but I'll need to know the time her shift's over to see if she is also a suspect.'

'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, after that he left the room normally, for some reason.

'What, you believe your butler but not me?' I asked, sounding really offended.

Ciel laughed. 'Well, of course. A demon butler with extreme good senses is much better at deducing than a high school girl with a lot of family problem, right?'

'Family problems? I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have family problems. I don't even have a fam-'

'Ash Landers,' Ciel interrupted me. He strangled his hands together as he leaned back in his chair. 'Friend of yours?'

'Apparently,' I answered, scratching the back of my head. 'But, in all honesty, I have no idea. I didn't even know he existed until yesterday.'

'Strange,' Ciel said. 'Because according to the documents Sebastian collected for me, he is your legal guardian and has been your second guardian ever since your birth,' he said, grabbing something from his desk and waving with it.

I didn't even bother to take it from him to conform his words. I believed him. I just wasn't sure how I was supposed to react to it. 'Maybe he's a friend of the family? I've already told you that I've no idea.'

'Never said you did,' Ciel said, sighing. 'Though I do think that you might me connected to everything somehow, even more than I thought you were.'

Suddenly, I felt a strange pain in my heart and I recognized it immediately. I had it before, not often, like twice a year. But everything I got a rush of pain it become worse. This time I wasn't even able to stay standing.

Ciel frowned. 'Clarissa?'

I waved with one hand at him while my other hand was against the place where my hearts was beating in my chest. 'It's fine, it's fine. It will be over in a minute.'

Then Ciel seemed to realise what it was. 'Ah. You're had this before during PE, correct?' he asked. 'And I believe you once had it during a history lesson as well.'

The pain was almost gone by now. 'Correct,' I said. But the memory stayed there.

When I stood up straight again, Ciel frowned his eyebrow again. 'Clarissa… You might want to look into a mirror for a bit…'

'Sorry?' I asked, immediately touching my hair.

Ciel touched his eye-patch, probably without even knowing that he did. 'Your eyes… they… they've become purple.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'Ah, it really is terrible to find your most wonderful creation hanging around such a unclean human and his graceless creature. I know that it is for the greater good, but it still pisses me off,' the man said as he walked through the empty corridors of the hospital. 'It's a good thing that I remember where I put you,' he mumbled as he walked into the restricted section of the hospital.

No one stopped him. Of course, they weren't even aware that he was there. A smile appeared on his face, a smile so devilish that it would scare even the cats. Everything was going according to plan. It was time to bring out his first trick, to try and cleanse the boy and get rid of the demon. Whether it was one way or another, he would get read of the creatures who make pure humans unclean.

He opened a locked door without unlocking it and walked into a room where there were only wires and machines, all to keep one, insane little human alive. The machines made incredible loud noises, but it didn't annoy the man, because the chaotic noise reminded him of chaos. And he loved chaos.

The man walked over to the bed, leaned over the human that was laying on the bed and smiled. 'Time for you to wake up,' he said with his angelic voice. 'Drossel Keinz.'

And then the human on the bed opened his purple eyes.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**I love writing confusing stuff. But at least now you know: EYE COLOUR IS IMPORTANT! I noticed that Ash and Angela had purple eyes, as well as Drossel, who was sort of possessed by an angel, so I thought that eye colour must have something to do with what you are. That's just a theory of me, though.**

**This chapter for a bit short, sorry! It wasn't the shortest one, though. I'm trying not to beat that record :)**

**There is some pretty fun stuff coming up and also an idea that I like but I think some of you might hate (please don't hate me when you find out what it is!).**

**Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing, love you all! Until next time!**


	18. Chapter 18

**_Bang bang, into the roof!_**

**Okay, I really don't like that song, but it's stuck in my head and I can't get it out and ARGH! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Hearing Ariana Grande in your head while trying to write is really hard, especially if you have to write about demons and murders and stuff like that, so that totally sucked.**

**But yeah, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, wish I did, but nope, but I do own Clarissa and every OC that won't come into this story (seriously, I'm not planning on any other OC's. At least not in this story. Maybe I change my mind later, but I don't think so).**

**Thank you for reviewing and reading!**

**Enjoy chapter… eighteen? (checks whether this is chapter eighteen or not) Yes, eighteen.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 18**

Ciel looked at her as he saw her eyes going purple. He frowned. 'Clarissa… You might want to look into a mirror for a bit…'

'Sorry?' she asked, touching her hair as though that was the thing that didn't look right.

Ciel tried to say it without sounding confused himself, but he couldn't manage to do so. 'Your eyes… they… have become purple.' But as he said it, her eyes started to change until her natural colour had come back. What just happened?

'What?' she asked, looking around for a mirror. The only mirror in the room was the one hanging above the chimney.

'No, never mind,' he said as she looked at herself in the mirror. He strangled his hands together and sighed. He should ask Sebastian about this as soon as he came back.

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><p>XxX<p>

_Clarissa's POV_

'This is no time to be playing chess,' Ciel told Madame Red as he moved a chess piece.

We were sitting in Madame Red's living room, but after the awkward conversation between me and Ciel this morning, we hadn't talked, so I had no idea what the plan was. Were we supposed to follow her? Was she an official suspect? I didn't know. And I hated that.

'Working obsessively will lead to no good,' was Madame Red's answer as she moved a chess piece. 'Why don't you leave everything to Sebastian?'

Speaking of Sebastian, where had he'd been up until now? Now he was standing next to the case full of silverware and plates, cleaning the silver spoons with a white piece of cloth, but I had no idea what he'd been doing. Or what he'd found out.

Why didn't they tell me anything? I guess I still wasn't really part of the team.

'He's just my chess piece,' Ciel answered as he moved another piece. 'I'm the one who moves him by giving order.'

I sat on the ground – don't ask why because I wasn't sure either, but at least the floor had really thick, soft carpet – and gave Ciel a look. _Unless he doesn't listen, of course._

Madame Red moved a chess piece, but didn't respond.

'But he's not an ordinary chess piece,' Ciel went on, 'he can advance as many squares as he likes at once.' He took out his hand to move a chess piece, but I couldn't see from my position on the floor what it was. 'Like this.'

I guessed that he had taken one of Madame Red's chess pieces, because she looked surprised and defeated to the chess board. 'That against the rules!' she said, but I'm pretty sure that whatever Ciel had just done, it wasn't.

Then I realised that she wasn't talking about the chess game, but about Ciel's game. And with 'game', I meant his life. 'Yes, if this were a game, it would be.'

What a strange thing for Ciel to say. He always said that this _were _a game, not that they weren't. The next thing he said made it a bit clearer though. 'But rules have no meaning in this world. There are always knights who break the rules and pawns who betray.' That last part he said with a sinister tone in his voice, looking at Madame Red as if he meant her.

Which he probably did, but if I were him, I wouldn't want the main suspect to know that you are suspecting him.

But Ciel wasn't finished talking yet. 'If you let your guard down, then before you know it...' He picked up a chess piece, but I again couldn't see what it was and where he put it. '…It's checkmate.'

Madame Red sighed and since she didn't move a chess piece, I knew that Ciel had just defeated her for the third time in a row. 'You have other options in life besides being the Queen's guard dog,' she then said. 'My sister… Your mother must have wanted something else for you, too. And yet you returned to the Underworld…'

Geez, lady. That sounded dark. And okay, maybe she was a bit right, I mean, Ciel _did _make a contract with a demon, but she didn't know about that, so from her point of view, she was being overdramatic. Or so I thought.

Then she said something that no one in this room wanted to hear, but everyone knew. 'Is it because you're trying to avenge your parents?'

I was surprised that Ciel answered her seriously, but his words made me confused. It felt like he was saying the truth, but this words seemed to be going against a lot of things I thought I knew. 'Revenge won't bring back the dead. And it definitely wouldn't make them happy,' he said. 'I didn't come back to the Phantomhive house for my predecessors' sakes.' He looked at his hands for a while, looking at the blue ring the wore on this thumb. 'I did it for me,' he finally said, looking up to face his aunt. 'I just want to make the people who betrayed and defiled my family suffer the same humiliation and pain that I suffered.'

Humiliation? I got the pain part, but humiliation? When was he humiliated? The only thing I could think of was his eye, but it was already clear that that was his own doing, by making a contract with Sebastian.

Madame Red closed her eyes for a while, with a sad smile on her face. 'I still remember the day you were born.'

_Oh, apparently we're going to change topics._

'You were so tiny and cute,' she went up as she stood from her chair, walking up to Ciel. 'I just thought "I must protect him".' He put her hand on his head, still smiling that sad smile of hers. 'I wasn't able to have a child, but I think of you as my own.' He bend down so she could face him properly.

I looked away, to Sebastian. He looked back at me, a silver knife in his hands. The looks we exchanged confirmed that we both didn't believe she was speaking the truth. No mother would leave her son in a house so far away from her, only because of her work. A real mother would insist of taking him in and would take care of the traumatised child. She did not.

'I wish you would leave the Underw-'

Ciel slapped her hand away. 'Being here now is something I wanted and something I chose,' Ciel said, ignoring Madame Red's shocked look. He did look straight at her when he said these words though: 'I don't regret it and I don't want anyone to spoil me.'

_Well, Sebastian and your enormous fortune are spoiling you quite a bit, sir. _Though, those two both weren't really people.

Madame Red sighed and straightened herself. 'I should leave for work,' she said, walking towards the door. 'Sebastian?' she asked, standing in the doorway.

He looked up from his silverware. 'Yes, my lady?'

'Don't stray from the boy's side,' she said, looking way too concerned to be real.

A smile that no one would trust appeared on his face. But the words he said were so sincere that no one could every doubt them. 'Fear not, I shall stay by his side 'till the very end.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

We stayed in the house, even though Madame Red had left. Which was logical, seeing how I was still kind of living here and Ciel had said that he would stay until the Copycat-case had come to a close.

Sebastian went to cook dinner and Grell went to clean up the rooms upstairs, because Ciel had given him that order and said that he 'didn't want to see his face unless it was absolutely necessary'. So that left me and Ciel alone in the living room.'

I was staring out of the window, looking how the rain fell down and the lightning made the darkness outside go away for a few seconds.

'The world can be completely swallowed by darkness,' I said, making Ciel look away from his book to give me a confused look.

'Huh?' he said, not trying to be polite with me, which I actually liked more than when he acted all high and mighty.

I also like the interested he seemed to have in my words, making me put more effort in explaining what I had meant. 'Night doesn't care whether your rich or poor, famous or forgotten. Everyone gets consumed by darkness if there's no light for them to follow.'

'That's true, I guess,' Ciel said after a while. 'But I do think that there are ways for people to stay in the light even without light to guide themselves.'

'Maybe,' was my reaction. After that we were silent again, but after a while, I couldn't stand it anymore.

I stood up. 'I'm going to check how Sebastian is doing,' I said, even though me and Ciel both knew that that didn't need a check-up. Sebastian was amazing in everything that he did and he knew that.

'Hello, Sebastio,' I said, trying to make 'hello' rhyme with 'Sebastian'. Which was clearly kind of impossible.

Sebastian looked at me with one of his eyebrows pulled up. He was stirring something with a spoon, but it looked sort of strange.

'You never use any electronic when you cook, do you?' I asked as I pulled myself on the kitchen counter and sat there, swaying my legs up and down as I observed at him.

'No, I don't,' he said. 'I find that the food I make comes out better when using own power and effort.'

'Show-off,' I muttered, letting my legs hang as I felt kind of defeated.

A small smile appeared on his face. 'Sorry, what was that?' he asked, clearly giving me a chance to take my words back.

Which I of course didn't do. 'I said that you are a show-off. And I bet you don't even know how to use electronic cooking utensils.'

He laughed. 'That might be true, but I do think that that, in this case, does not matter. If I wanted to learn I could, I just prefer not to.'

'What's on the menu today?' I asked.

Sebastian sighed and said. 'It's a secret,' but then he smiled and said: 'Chicken, carrots and potatoes with a special sauce.'

'Sounds great,' I said, though I didn't need to know the menu to know that I would like it. 'Why didn't you save me?' I asked in the same light tone as our conversation had been up until now, but with much harsher words.

Sebastian went along with my light-tone-but-harsh-words-conversation. 'Because I didn't want you to be saved,' he answered, not looking at me anymore.

I wasn't sure how to react to that. I thought about it for a while and then I said the only thing I could think of. 'I guess I should've seen that answer coming.' I jumped off the kitchen counter and started to walk out of the kitchen when Sebastian stopped me with one of his gloved hands. 'Why are you leaving?' he asked me, seeming seriously troubled by the fact that I was.

'You just literally said that you hate me so much that you want to get me killed,' I said, not trying to free myself from his grip, but wishing to be able to free myself, 'so I thought that you probably didn't enjoy my company.'

Then he did the only thing that could possibly confuse me more. He pulled me towards him and put his hands around me, hugging me as though he wanted to console me.

After a while a I opened my mouth. 'You're not trying to hug me to death, are you?' I asked, only a bit serious. 'Because that's the only logical solution I can come up with at the moment.'

'Hmm,' was his only reaction and I felt his breath against my neck.

Suddenly, I got scared. 'You're not thinking for doing weird things to me, are you?' I asked, every single word sounded like a question.

'Depends on what you define as 'weird',' he answered, but I could hear that he was joking.

'Well, don't bite me,' I said and even though that was meant to be a joke, it sounded way to serious to be one.

'Don't tempt me,' he said and I screamed a small scream when I felt a sudden pain in my neck.

I pushed him away, a hand on my neck. 'You bit me!' I said, trying not to scream since I was scared that Ciel would be able to hear me.

Sebastian slightly tilted his head to the right. 'And what if I did?' he asked, licking his lips in a way that wasn't sexy, but scary.

I grabbed the big spoon from the kitchen counter. 'You've told me that drinking someone's blood was a very ungraceful thing to do.'

'Yes,' he said, very serious. 'I dare even say it's barbaric.'

Somewhere in my mind someone was calling me, telling me that he was only trying to distract me so that I wouldn't ask the hard questions. But for now, I ignored the voice. Mostly because I needed the distraction as well. 'Then why did you…'

'I didn't drink anything did I?' he asked, folding his hands behind his back and looking as innocent as he possibly could.

I narrowed my eyes, still holding the spoon like a sword. 'But that doesn't mean that you weren't planning on-'

'What _are _you guys doing?' someone asked.

We both turned around. Ciel stood in the doorway, with one eyebrow pulled up.

I immediately dropped the spoon and it fell on the ground with a loud noise, making me cringe. Ciel was still waiting for an answer. 'Err, trying to kill a vampire?' I asked, pointing at Sebastian.

Ciel didn't look convinced. 'With a spoon?' he asked.

'It was a silver spoon,' I muttered as I bowed down to pick it up.

Ciel sighed and approached us. 'I do believe that you're talking about werewolves, not vampires,' he said as he took the spoon from me. 'And I think you can't handle a weapon like this.' He handed the spoon to Sebastian. 'Grell just told me that he would leave to pick up Madame Red at eleven. We will leave soon after that, so make sure everything is prepared by then.'

I looked confused at them. 'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, or course knowing the plan that I wasn't aware of.

I considered gently asking, but I was way too annoyed for that now. 'Guys!' I moaned. 'You can't leave me out of this! What are we going to do?'

Ciel closed his eye for a moment, before saying: '"We" aren't doing to do anything. You will stay here and wait for their return, also cover for us when they come back earlier than us and me and Sebastian will track Grell and possibly Madame Red.'

'That sounds like a horrible plan!' It didn't, but I really didn't want to be left out again.

'No, it doesn't,' Ciel said, knowing all too well what I was thinking. 'Sebastian made the plan himself.'

I gave Sebastian a cold glare, pressing my lips together and thinking _'traitor!' _in my head. His reaction was just a polite smile, but something about it made me think that there was more behind me staying here. Would he tried to get me killed again if I were to come with them? And if that was it, then why didn't he insist on taking me with them, so that I could get killed? Wasn't that what he wanted? I know that everyone always says that guys are confusing, but it seemed that demons were even worse.

Ciel sighed again and rolled his eye. 'You two are really starting to piss me off. What are you, a comedic duo?'

Now I was the one to sigh. _If we were, things would probably be a lot less complicated_.

I didn't say that out loud though.

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><p>XxX<p>

That evening, after Grell left, we were standing in the entrance hall. Sebastian already had his coat on and was helping Ciel with his. Cause, apparently, the great Lord Ciel Phantomhive couldn't put on his own coat.

Sebastian held the car door open as I stood there in front of the door, in my dress in the rain. I was surprised when Sebastian actually walked towards me after closing the car door. 'Your bow is crocked,' he said, readjusting the bow on my dress. As he did that I watched him closely, his long eyelashes and his beautiful face.

I wasn't sure why I wasn't scared of him anymore. But as I watched him readjusting the bow with a slight smile on his face, the only thing I wanted was to talk to him. Ask him more about demons and how he viewed humans. How he managed to stay true to Ciel while also stay true to his demonic nature. I wanted to find out of old he was, and I wanted to hear everything about the life he'd lived.

Suddenly Sebastian grabbed my face, pulling it up so he could look at it probably. He looked into my eyes as if they were the most beautiful things in the world. 'Green eyes, check!' he said jokingly. 'No purple.'

As he looked at me like that, I couldn't help myself. Now that I look back at it, I shouldn't have. I should've just watched him step into the car and leave. I shouldn't even have looked at him. But I did.

And as he looked into my eyes with that smile of his, I leaned forward to press my lips – only for a split second – to his.

He froze under my touch, not even letting out a breath. The only thing that changed was that his smile had faded and his eyes had lost the amused twinkle.

'I'm sorry,' I muttered and after that I fled back inside and closed the door before he could say or do anything.

I let myself slide down against the door and covered my face with my hands.

_What had I done?_

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter eighteen has ended!**

**So I'll try and comment on every review from now on, unless I really don't know how to react. I think that most of my reactions will just be thanks, but yeah.**

**BlackMoon901: I'm glad you liked it! But please don't die, there is still so much stuff that is going to happen!**

**promocat: yeah, true, but I don't like to write short chapters, because I don't like reading short chapters. (I hope that sounded logical.)**

**Lestatsgirl15: Interesting is one of the biggest compliments I can get! I'm always scared that my chapters are boring, so thanks!**

**Nelisa: It isn't necessarily her behaviour (I mean her thoughts aren't really the most angelic thoughts in the world)… But I don't want to give too much away!**

**ycsitmc: Sorry if that bored you, but I don't regret putting her in that position, since that was ****_the _****opportunity for Ash to appear.**

**wolf-akuma: Jup, I'm actually really proud that I thought of that! (and now I'm a bit ashamed that I just said such an arrogant thing)**

**So… does anyone have any idea what's going to happen next? I feel like I've made it way too obvious in chapter 17, but I'm not sure if I dislike that or not. Maybe it's a good thing that the 'audience' knows before Clarissa does!**


	19. Chapter 19

**So in this chapter comes the twist that I think some of you won't like… So I'm actually really scared…**

**But anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, I do own my OC and I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 19**

This night was the most horrible night of my life.

Sitting alone in a creepy and empty house, trapped in my own thoughts, was something that I really did not want to experience right now.

I still couldn't get over the fact that I'd actually kissed him. Even though it was just a split second and most people wouldn't even see that as a kiss, but I did. And I hated myself. Why had I done it in the first place?

_Because you think he's attractive, of course. That's the only reason. No feelings. Just because he's handsome._

But the moment I thought that, I could slap myself. Of course that wasn't it! I didn't care how handsome he was, I wouldn't go and kiss a demon only because he was hot.

When were Grell and Madame Red coming home?! I really did not want to stay alone anymore. What was going on? Was Grell behind it? Madame Red? Or were they working together? What if they were? Would they go to jail? What would happen to Ciel if his first legal guardian went to jail? Would Sebastian become his first guardian? That sounded like a terrible idea.

I wasn't sure for how long I'd been staring in the distance when my phone rang.

I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at the display to see who would call me this late. I wasn't surprised that it was a number that my phone didn't recognize.

When I picked up the phone, I wasn't sure what to expect. But I sure as hell didn't expect Sebastian to speak in such a polite manner, as if we'd never met before. 'I call to inform you that certain events have come to a close,' he said, his voice sounding so business-like that I immediately wanted to hang up. 'Ciel and I are currently in the hospital, but we'll come home soon. Grell and Madame Red won't return. I thought you wanted to know. Goodnight.' Then he hung up.

I stood still for a few seconds. Then I freaked.

_WHAT?!_

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><p>XxX<p>

I rushed inside the hospital, immediately assuming that they were in the London Central Hospital, since that was the closest one.

I really didn't get why Madame Red had to be picked up, because running I got there in less than ten minutes. I ran over to the desk were a young nurse was sitting. 'I'm sorry,' I said, breathing heavy. 'But is Ciel Phantomhive here?'

She looked up at me with a polite smile. 'You mean the Earl? They brought him in a few minutes ago. Are you family?' she asked.

I nodded, just in case that they didn't let me see him if I wasn't. 'Yes, I'm his niece.' Since Madame Red was kind of my guardian that wasn't even that incorrect.

The smile on the nurses face faded for a second and I thought for a second that she didn't believe me, but then she said: 'Second floor, room 63. But don't worry, sweetheart. He didn't look seriously injured when he arrived.' She pulled a face. 'He had more than enough energy to whine about the employees and the smell in this hospital.'

I thanked her, not sure how to react to the last things she said, and rushed over to the stairs, because I didn't want to wait for the elevator. I looked around and thanked heavens that this hospital had a lot of signs to lead you to the room you needed to be. It took me less than a minute to find the right room.

I didn't even knock on the door. I just rushed in. 'Ciel!' I said when I saw him, but he looked surprisingly okay.

And he didn't look happy to see me. 'What are you doing here?' he asked, not even trying to hide the fact that he really didn't want me to be here.

'Sebastian called, so I got worried,' I said, trying to ignore the butler that was standing in the corner of the room, staring at me with burning eyes.

Ciel sighed and gave Sebastian a quick glare. 'Well, I guess it can't be helped then. But nothing's wrong.'

Then I noticed the bandage on his leg. 'Nothing's wrong?! What happened to your leg?!' I said, rushing over to him to get a better view.

'It's just a small injury,' he said. 'Nothing's wrong. I'll be fine.'

'Actually,' a doctor said as he entered the room. 'We took a look at the pictures. Your muscle has been damaged and even though your leg will heal fine, that muscle is most likely permanently damaged.'

I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to understand what had happened. Who'd injured him? And what would happen to Ciel?

The doctor closed this eyes for a moment. 'He will be fine, but I advise you to acquire a walking stick. Walking can be tricky, especially the first few months.'

Ciel didn't say anything, he just stared out of the window, where the rain had stopped falling.

And for the first time since I'd met him, Ciel looked sincerely heart broken.

But I didn't think that it had anything to do with his leg.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

After the doctor left, I mumbled that I was going to get some water and left the room, wanting to escape the heavy atmosphere that was hanging there.

I sat down just outside the room, not wanting to look for water. Running and not sleeping had taken their toll and I didn't have any energy left. But I also felt the strange desire to cry, which I didn't, since I felt like that would be useless right now.

Some went to sit down beside me. 'Why is it that every time I see you, you seem to be on the edge of crying?'

I looked up, into the violet eyes of Ash Landers. 'Maybe your timing is just bad,' I said, forcing a smile, not entirely sure how to treat this man.

He gave me a smile back. 'No, I think my timing it precisely right,' was his reaction, though it sounded like he was talking about more than just our meeting times. 'So, what happened?' he asked, sounding like a real parent.

Which somehow made the tears escape. As I started crying I felt so ashamed that I covered my face with my hands. 'I don't know. And that's the problem. I don't know anything!' I said, my hands still covering my face.

'Hmm, yes, I do believe that's true,' he said, again sounding like there was more behind the words he said then just what it seemed to mean on the surface. 'But I do believe that that will change the moment that you are willing to change. So, are you willing to change?'

I pulled my hands of my face and looked at him frowning. 'What do you mean by that?' The words didn't sound that impressive since I was still crying, but I felt like it was stopping on its own now, as if someone made them leave.

'What I mean right now is not important,' he said, waving my words away. 'What's important now is… how fare are you willing to go to save Ciel Phantomhive?'

_Saving Ciel Phantomhive? _I never even thought of that as a possibility. If it was Sebastian I was up against, I could never win. I was only human, after all. 'I'm willing to go as far as to save him, but I already know that I will never be able to,' I told him. Then I realised something strange. 'Wait, how do you know about that?'

A smile that I couldn't trust appeared on the man's face. 'Well, I do believe that there are creatures in this world who can sense a lost soul. But I do think that Ciel Phantomhive has a soul that is not lost yet.' He stood up and offered me is hand. 'Come, there's something I want to show you.'

I let him pull me up and I followed him as we walked down and down stairs, until we reached a place where there were no signs and no directions. It also felt a lot colder here than it had felt on the other floors.

That was the moment I realized that I had just followed a man I barely knew into the cellar of a hospital. 'Wait, what are we doing he-'

Ash had disappeared.

But it wasn't silent here. You could hear the noises of machines buzzing and working, but that wasn't the thing that sounded familiar. That wasn't the thing that made me stand frozen in the corridor, waiting for the moment that I finally dared to move.

'_London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair lady,_' a voice that I would never be able to forget sang. I unintentionally brought my hand to the burning mark in my neck, feeling it burn as the memory came back to me.

And there, at the end of the corridor, appeared a familiar face.

Drossel Keinz.

'_Build it up with wood and clay, wood and clay, wood and clay. Build it up with wood and clay, my fair Lady._'

He was wearing a hospital uniform, but it didn't look right. He used to always wear hats. Seeing him without a hat was really unnatural.

'_Wood and clay will wash away, wash away, wash away. Wood and clay will wash away, my fair lady,_' he sang, finally noticing me.

We just stood there, not far away from each other, but also not close. I just stood still in shock and horror and he just stood there, head tilted to the left, looking at me with a curious look in his purple eyes.

Wait… purple?

He just kept looking at me with that look and I had nothing to say, nothing to hear. I didn't want to move, too scared to be attacked again. Too scared to die without accomplishing or understanding anything.

'Clary?' he then said, for once not singing.

I still couldn't react, didn't know how.

Then he said another word: 'Old.'

Old? If this were a different situation, I would have felt insulted. But right now, I was too scared to feel anything.

Then, thank god, a nurse appeared, frowning as she saw me and Drossel standing there. 'Mister Keinz! You are supposed to be sleeping!' she said, grabbing Drossel' arm. She looked at me. 'Did he bother you?'

I finally managed to move, but only to shake my head.

'Why are you here?' she asked.

I suddenly felt like answering with one word was a good idea. 'Lost,' was the only thing I said.

'Ah. Well, you can just go upstairs, I'm sure you'll find your way back,' she said as she started to lead Drossel back to wherever he was supposed to be.

But then he started singing again. And as he sang, I heard a joy in his voice that I couldn't describe not explain. '_Clary, she will fade away, fade away, fade away. Clary, she will fade away, my fair lady._'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I somehow managed to find my way back to Ciel and Sebastian, who were about to leave the hospital as I got there. I was pretty sure that Ciel had pulled some strings to be able to leave earlier, because the doctor didn't look really happy when Ciel stepped out of bed, almost falling down the moment he stood.

Sebastian immediately pulled out his hands to catch Ciel, but he pushed him away immediately, looking at Sebastian with a look that I didn't understand, but I was pretty sure that I had never seen it before. He seemed scared, but that wasn't the word to describe it. It seemed like it was fear mixed with disgust.

'I'm fine,' he said harsh. 'I can stand on my own.' But as he walked towards the doorway, it was clear to everyone that he couldn't.

I walked up to him, somehow sure that he wouldn't be scared if it was me. It seemed that everyone in the room hadn't noticed me until I did that. 'Don't be silly,' I said as he looked at me with his famous 'leave me alone'-look. 'Here, you can lend my arm,' I said, holding out my arm for him. 'It can be your walking stick until we get you one.'

Ciel looked at me if he wanted to protest, but then he took my arm and I felt that he needed it, because the next step he took I felt his weight on my arm. 'Thank you,' he said, so soft that I was almost certain that I'd heard it wrong.

'You're welcome,' I mumbled back, looking back at Sebastian as he looked at me and Ciel with anger and possessiveness in his eyes.

But I knew that that wasn't directed towards me, but towards Ciel. Because why would Sebastian ever want to possess me?

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When we arrived at the Phantomhive mansion, Ciel had fallen asleep. At first I wanted to carry him to his room, knowing that, for some reason, he wouldn't like it if Sebastian was the one to carry him now. But since I was scared that I would drop him on the floor, I let Sebastian carry him. But I didn't leave him alone. I just walked besides them, holding Ciel's hand as if that would accomplish anything. But I felt that he squeezed my hand from time to time and that was more than enough to make me feel useful.

Sebastian didn't bother to change Ciel's clothes, even though he was still wearing hospital clothes. The moment he'd closed the door to Ciel's room, he turned to face me. 'I do believe I got some explaining to do,' he said.

I was actually surprised. 'Oh, so you are actually going to tell me anything? I'm impressed.' I didn't sound as cynical as I'd wanted.

'Madame Red was killed,' Sebastian said, completely ignoring the cynical turn I was trying to take.

'W-what?' I said, because whatever I'd expected, that wasn't it. I covered my mouth with my hands for a few seconds, not sure how to react. 'So she wasn't… Oh gosh. By who?'

'Grell Sutcliffe,' was his answer. 'But Madame Red wasn't innocent either.'

I felt like I'd missed something. 'Are you saying that we were both right? That they were both killing those women, that they were a team?'

'Yes, but the moment Grell lost interest in her, he killed her, to Young Master's grief. Even though he will never admit that.' Sebastian frowned. 'And now, in order for the explanation I give you, I asked one of you.'

I immediately understood what he was talking about, but right now I couldn't bring myself to talk about that. I wasn't sure if I ever would be able to. 'I understand, Sebastian, but right now, I just want to go to bed. I'll explain when I can, okay?'

He frowned, clearly not liking this for an answer. But as I yawned, he seemed to understand that this wasn't only because I really – _really – _did not want to talk or think about it. 'I understand.' He bowed. 'Goodnight, my Lady.'

But after hearing Drossel sing that song again, the word 'lady' had lost all his charm. Now, that word just creeped me out.

As I walked to the room that was soon probably going to be mine again, since I had lost my home for the second time in less than two months, I noticed that the black cat was following me again. 'You know, cat,' I said, 'I think that you're the only friend I have at the moment.' A gave the cat a sad smile. 'And that's not good, considering that you're probably one of Sebastian's minions.'

The cat just closed his eyes for a short period, walking without problems even though his eyes were closed.

'Well, at least you're not trying to confuse me even more,' I said as I walked into my room, only to see the moon shining through the window.

But then I thought I saw something else, and I rushed towards the window.

And right before it disappeared, I thought I saw someone with long, blood red hair running through the night.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'What do you mean he disappeared?' Abberline asked the nurse, trying to take notes while also try to stay calm. He was actually pretty freaked out in this creepy cellar. He didn't like going out on his own like this, but all the other police officers were way too busy with the two corpses that were found.

'I mean that he disappeared! He isn't in his room and the camera's do not show anything! It's like he disappeared in thin air!' the nurse said panicking.

'That's not possible! Aren't there any clues?' Abberline asked. 'Strange behaviour or strange occurrences?'

'Well,' the nurse said, suddenly thinking of something. 'Not too long ago, there was this girl here. But she really did seem lost and useless, so I don't think she had anything to do with it.'

'A-a-aha,' Abberline said, writing this down just in case.

'But after that… he always sings _London Bridge is falling down_, that kind of his thing,' she said. 'But ever since that strange girl appeared, he'd been singing the same strange, non-existing couplet over and over again.'

'Ah, and what did he sing?' Abberline asked, almost certain that this wasn't going to be helpful at all.

The nurse seemed to think about that for a moment. 'I do believe it was something along the lines of '_Clary, she will fade away, fade away, fade away. Clary, she will fade away, my fair lady', _I'm actually quite sure. He was singing it the whole night.'

Abberline frowned as he thought of the girl named 'Clarissa' that he'd met yesterday. 'I'm sorry, but I do believe that we'll need to make a composite sketch of the girl you met this evening. Do you mind coming to the office with me?'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**Chapter nineteen has ended! So yeah, that happened. The thing I thought some of you wouldn't like was the walking stick thing. I just wondered as I watched the anime why he had one and so I came up with a reason. Not only because it's a pretty iconic thing he always has with him, but also because there aren't many people these days with walking sticks, so I felt like I had to give him a good reason to have one.**


	20. Chapter 20

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own my OC. (and yeah, that's the only thing I wanted to say)**

**Oh, and sorry for the typos! I'm such a horrible person (when it comes to writing stuff)!**

**XxX**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

'Big brother!' a girl screamed as she rushed towards the boy standing by the gate of the church. 'Lots of people are here today, huh, big brother?' the little boy asked the slightly older boy as the young girl joined them at the gate.

I was standing next to them, dressed in black pants and a black coat, even though I wasn't going to step inside the church.

'Why?' asked the girl, looking up at the tallest boy.

'I don't know,' the eldest boy answered, but somehow I got the feeling that he did have an idea, but he just didn't want to say that to his siblings.

The youngest brother looked at his brother in surprise. 'But you're older! You don't know?'

The girl pointed bluntly at the boy. 'Are you dumb?' she asked him.

'I'm only twelve!' the boy said flustered. 'I don't have to know everything!'

Just as I wanted to open my mouth to tell them what the fuss was all about, a familiar voice from before me said: 'Indeed.'

I looked away from the children and saw the Undertaker standing there, at the other side of the gate, looking at the three children. 'It's only natural a normal twelve-year old boy wouldn't know,' he said, clearly referring to Ciel. 'Today is a certain noblewoman's big day,' he went on, making it sound as though someone was getting married.

The children looked pretty scared when they saw the Undertaker. The eldest even pulled his younger siblings away from the man, but that didn't stop the girl from asking: 'Big day?' But after that, the eldest covered her mouth, did not want her to say anything more to the man.

I understood that the Undertaker looked pretty creepy to them, but I didn't feel the need to step in and do something about it.

'Yes,' the Undertaker answered. 'A person's final, biggest ceremony in life.'

Well, in death was the better word, but if that's how he wanted to think it, then I wouldn't ruin that for him.

'The funeral,' the Undertaker finally said, making the three kids look back at the church with different eyes this time.

That was the moment that I thought it was best to step in. 'Hey, hey, you guys, this is not a place for kids to be hanging around,' I said as I approached the children. 'Go home, this is a private ceremony.'

The eldest one seemed happy to obey me and pulled his sibling away from the church as they crossed the road, probably going home.

The Undertaker laughed. 'Aah, if it isn't you, Clarissa!' he said, sounding happy in his creepy sort of way.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a second. 'Don't you have better things to do, Undertaker?' I asked as I leaned against the gate. 'It's not like you really knew her or anything.'

'But I did design the coffin,' he said. 'And I made her pretty for her big day!'

'Well, Ciel doesn't seem to agree with that,' I said, pointing at the boy who was opening the door of the church with a red dress in his hands. He was now walking with a walking stick, but somehow it didn't look pathetic, but strong.

'What?' The Undertaker said, turning around. 'Oh no! The flowers!' he then said, running away towards Sebastian, who was standing next to some sort of carriage in front of the church. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but then I saw the red petals of roses flying from the carriage, entering the church and some of them flying into the air and disappearing from my sight.

Suddenly I felt like crying, but I didn't. I just put a sat smile on my face and started singing. '_London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair lady._' I repeated and repeated until I saw that the three children had returned and were looking at me with eyes full of curiosity.

The little girl turned to her brother again. 'Brother, why is she singing?'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

After the funeral there was a dinner party that I was invited to, but I didn't attend. I went back home with Mei-Rin and the others. But since Ciel needed the car, we were going by bus.

'So Madame Red won't come to visit anymore,' Finnian said. Me and Mei-Rin were able to sit, but he and Baldroy didn't have enough space in the bus so they were standing next to our seats. 'It'll be lonely.'

Mei-Rin looked sad and I knew that I looked the same, but I also knew that I looked sad for a different reason. These three thought that Madame Red had been a victim of Jack the Copycat. And in some ways she had been. But the truth was more complicated.

Baldroy managed to pull a smile on his face. 'What's with the long faces? This is exactly the kind of time when we need to support our young master!'

Mei-Rin and Finnian immediately brought forced smiles on their faces, but it didn't look ridiculous. It looked brave and strong. 'Right!' they said, their fighting spirit lift again.

I looked out of the window, somehow feeling like somewhere else, something heavy was going on. I felt as though Ciel needed help, a kind of help that Sebastian couldn't give him and a kind of help that he would never accept from me. But I wanted to help him.

I almost started crying, but a hand on my knee made me look up before I could. Mei-Rin, Baldroy and Finnian were looking at me with worrying eyes. 'Are you okay, yes?' Mei-Rin asked.

I opened my mouth, closed it again and opened it again. 'No,' I said in all honesty. 'But right now, it's not about me. Don't worry about me.' I looked back at the window again, saw how the sun was slowly disappearing and the night was starting to come. 'Worry about your master,' I said, still looking out of the window. 'He needs all the care he can get.' _And Sebastian would never give him such care._

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

As we arrived at the mansion, Finnian went to work in the kitchen, Mei-Rin went to go and clean the silverware and Baldroy went to the kitchen to see if there was anything he could prepare for dinner today.

And I just walked through the mansion with no direction, knowing that the cat was once again following me. I didn't mind. I was used to having him as my personal stalker, at least as long as I was inside this mansion.

I somehow ended up in the ballroom, where Ciel and Elizabeth had danced and me and Sebastian had… well, danced, but it was more like Sebastian making fun of me. I sat down behind the grand piano that was standing in the ballroom.

I knew that the cat was at my feet, looking up at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look into his red eyes, so I didn't. I just touched one key on the piano. And another one. And another one until I was playing an actual song. I wasn't playing something hard, since I had only had piano lessons for a year, but I wasn't sure for who I was playing. Playing for Ciel, because he had lost is aunt and in some respects his way, playing for the house staff, because they were useless, playing for Sebastian, because I was certain that he would never have any understanding for the human heart. Playing for Madame Red, because something had changed that lady that had seemed so kind into a serial killer. Playing for her because she was dead and maybe I could have stopped it if I had just been there.

_Maybe I should've died instead for her. I'm not important to anyone. I don't have family. I wouldn't give anything up, even if I die now._

My fingers stopped playing. I just stared at the keys, trying to stop from feeling down, trying to stop _feeling. _But I knew that that wasn't how the human heart worked.

I needed Sebastian to take it away.

The moment I thought that, I stood up. No. Was that the way how I handled my problems? Run to Sebastian and hope he'd fix them for me?

No. I wasn't going to rely on him anymore. Sebastian clearly wasn't the right person to believe in. The only problem was that I wasn't sure who was.

I walked to my room and stepped inside, letting myself fall into the bed and closing my eyes for a while. Then I realised that I'd seen something strange and I shot back up, staring at the chair in the corner of the room.

On the chair stood a porcelain doll, looking at me with purple eyes.

But the thing that freaked me out was that she looked exactly like me.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I grabbed the doll and walked towards Ciel's office, though I knew that he would not be there yet. I put the doll on his desk, but the moment I wanted to leave, my eyes fell on the newspaper that was laying on the desk.

The headline on the front page was about the murders, the death of Madame Red and that other lady, but it wasn't the headline that interested me. It was one of the other headlines, that directed you to another page. _Mad patient escaped from London Central Asylum._

I froze, knew who it was before I even turned the page to see a photo of a familiar face, but this time, he still had blue eyes.

Drossel Keinz had escaped.

And somehow I knew they would come for me.

And I was correct. As I walked through the corridor I saw Mei-Rin and the police officer – Abberline – walking through the house, clearly looking for something. And with _something_, I meant _me_.

'Ah! Clarissa!' Mei-Rin said. 'T-this man wants to s-speak with you, yes!' she said.

I nodded. 'Police inspector Abberline,' I said as sanely as I could.

'Clarissa Lane,' he said, clearly not happy that he was here on his own. 'I'm h-here to ask you about the events that occurred in the hospital yesterday and when I called your guardian, he said I could find you here.'

'Well, as you can see, Ash was correct,' I said, knowing that the guardian he was talking about wasn't Madame Red. 'But this isn't the place to talk about that. Why don't you come to the living room? We can have our conversation there,' I said, using my secretary-tone, the one I always used when I played secretary for my father.

'S-s-sure,' he answered, following me towards the room that I called 'the living room' even though I wasn't sure if it was a living room. It was just a room with a bench, a tea table, a pool table and a few chairs. I sat down in one of the chairs and Abberline sat down on the bench, looking incredible uncomfortable. The fact that he wasn't wearing his coat anymore told me that Mei-Rin had at least done one aspect of being a maid right.

'As y-y-you might have heard,' he started, playing with the handle of his bag, 'there has been an escape. And the nurse said that she'd seen a girl in the department talking with the escaped patient and the girl she described seemed to be you,' he said, trying to find the right words.

'Yes, I got lost,' I said, not brave enough to tell the truth. 'I did meet a patient there, but aside from the fact that he was singing the whole time, he seemed perfectly fine to me.'

Abberline cleared his throat and then he said something that made me frown: 'This is something that I don't like to say, but you have to know that you are one of the main suspects for this case, since there have been very suspicious incident occurring around your social circles.'

Pfft, as if I even had 'social circles'. 'Such as?'

'The suicide of your father and the murder of Angelina Dalles,' he said, looking incredible guilty as he did.

'Oh?' I said, trying to act as innocent as I could. 'It's not like I could've saved my father from his horrible choice and I don't think I could have done anything to save Angelina either. Poor Ciel,' I added, for dramatic effect.

Even though my act that been really fake, Abberline believed it. 'Yes, I know! And I'm sorry! But Randall told me to ask you about that!' he said as the scribbled down something in this tiny little book.

I sighed. 'Well, I guess it isn't strange that you ask such questions. But believe me, the death of my father wasn't something I would've prevented. Neither was the death of Angelina Dalles.' Though I did believe that I could've saved them. But I didn't. Did that make me a demon?

Now that I think if it, that was something I used to think. That I was a demon, a devil. I had killed my mother, made my father angry and people at school are in the town never seemed to like me. So I was a demon. A demon who nobody could love and could love nobody. That was what I always thought as a child. Had I been wrong? Maybe not, but now I was sure that I at least wasn't a demon. Not literally, in any case.

Abberline cleared his throat again. 'There's another question that I don't want to ask, but need to ask because of the importance for the case,' he said.

That didn't sound too good. 'Okay, let's hear it, then.' If I pretended that I had nothing to hide, maybe he would believe me and go away before Ciel came home. I didn't think that he would appreciate it if he knew that there was a police officer in his home.

'Well… do you have any sort of relationship with Ciel Phantomhive?' he asked, looking more embarrassed than I when I heard the question, though I did blush.

'I do believe me and Ciel have a relationship, but it doesn't go beyond friendship, though.' I believed it wasn't even called 'friendship'. It was more like we were kind of stuck with each other for some reason.

Abberline sighed a relieved sigh, seemed happy that I'd handled that question so well. 'And do you have any sort of relationship with Sebastian Michaelis?' he asked.

That immediately cracked the mood. 'Not really,' I said cranky.

Abberline looked at me with frowned eyebrows. 'I'm sorry, but… could you m-maybe… clarify?'

I sighed, didn't want to talk to anyone about Sebastian. Not even with Sebastian himself. 'Since Sebastian is always with Ciel, it's sort of inevitable that I know him, but he and I don't really have any sort of relationship, no friendship, no hardship.' No common sense was also a thing that me and Sebastian seemed to lack, or in any case I lacked when he tried to seduce me. Oh, hell, not tried. Succeeded. 'Is that everything?' I asked, suddenly really not liking this guy anymore.

'I-I-I believe so,' he said, still writing down stuff.

'Great, because I need to start with my homework,' I said, knowing that when he was gone, I wouldn't do any homework. Not that I didn't have any, it was just that I didn't want to do it after everything that had happened. I was sure the teachers wouldn't mind. Uhum.

I showed Abberline the door and returned to my room after that, only to find the same doll from before on the same spot again.

But I was sure that I'd but it on Ciel's desk.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The white snow fell down, while night was watching over the city. It seemed to be silent in the city, except for the loud footsteps of men, running away and after each other.

The man ran down the street as fast as he could, the gun in his hand seemed that much heavier as he tried to escape.

'Shit! Don't let him get away!' one of the man that was running after him ordered the others. 'Does Tim even know how hard we worked to steal that thing?!' It was incredible that he was able to sound so understandable while he was running so fast, but it seemed as though the younger man that was running away from them was faster.

As the man reached the bridge he stood still, looking at his closed fist, thinking about the thing that was in that fist. He was breathing heavy, but was almost certain that he'd lost the ones who were chasing him.

Then the man started to laugh. 'It's mine now,' he said, a devious smile on his face. 'I won't let anyone else have it.'

Then someone spoke. 'You are not suited for that ring,' a voice as clear as the voice of an angel said. His voice seemed to echo through the city.

Before the man could turn around to face the creature that was standing on the bridge, he felt as though a thousand ropes had caught him and he could feel them pulling tighter and tighter around him, making him bleed.

Then the creature on the bridge suddenly stood closer, but in the darkness it was almost impossible to see its face. 'The Hope piece is searching for a worthy master, you see,' the angelic voice explained, as if that was the most logical thing in the world. His voice had a strange monotone tone, but that was the least of the man's worries right now.

The man only had one worry when the ropes became tighter and tighter.

Death.

As the corpse fell from the bridge into the frozen lake, the man who'd been chasing the man finally reached him, only seeing the dark figure fall from the bridge.

'He jumped!' one of them said, sounding surprised but also a bit impressed.

'That damn fool…' another said, not even looking sad that one of his closest friends until that moment had died. He was angry, he'd lost his treasure.

But none of the three men noticed the other creature on the bridge, maybe because he was already gone, but most likably because his form had been consumed by darkness.

XxX

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter twenty has ended! I can't believe I've already writing twenty chapters!<strong>

**I'm sorry that there isn't any SebxClary stuff in this chapter, but other things were more important now.**

**And since we have come to the part of the story where it is winter, we kind of get a Christmas-special! Though not really, since I won't put in more Christmas than the anime does.**

**wolf-akuma: thank you! :D I'm sorry that it only lasted for a second, but I don't think Clarissa would have dragged it out any longer, since she just did it on impulse (I mean, who wouldn't kiss Sebas-chan on impulse? I know I would)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone! I got 44 followers! How did that happen? I know it may sound like 44 is not that much, but it's more than I ever thought I would get! I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYY!**

**But I still don't Kuroshitsuji. But I do own Clarissa and all of her weirdness.**

**Enjoy chapter twenty-one!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 21**

'Can I ask you something, Sebastian?' Ciel asked as he entered his office, knowing he still had some paperwork to do.

'Of course, my Lord,' he answered.

Ciel knew that that would be his answer and because of that, he almost rolled his eye. But he didn't. 'Can you please stop acting so foolish? Even I know that there's something wrong with you, whether my theory is correct or not, I believe that I do not like this change.'

Sebastian didn't react. Maybe he wasn't sure how to.

Ciel sat in front of his desk and put the walking stick next to him. He picked up the paper of this morning and looked at the article on the front page again. As he did that, he said: 'I do not get much about love and everything that comes with it, but if you feel unsure about it, I think a simple touch should make it clear whether you feel attraction towards the girl or not.' He frowned. 'But if there's something going on that I should worry about, I ask you to tell me now. Because I don't like surprises. Especially if my loyal servant can prevent them.'

Sebastian didn't react for a long time. Then he said: 'Yes, my Lord.' Then his eyes fell on something small but relevant. 'Young Master, could I maybe have that newspaper for a moment?' he asked.

Ciel looked surprised, human news was usually something Sebastian couldn't care less about. 'That's fine, I guess,' he said, handing his butler the paper.

Sebastian turned he page as he frowned, looking at the picture of a young man with ginger hair and blue eyes. The man had a blue tattoo under the right corner of his right eye.

Ciel didn't like the look on Sebastian's face. 'What is it?' he said.

Sebastian knew that he'd have to answer that question, so he handed his master the paper on this right page. 'Drossel Keinz has escaped from the asylum. And I'm quite certain that this man is a childhood friend of Clarissa's.'

Ciel looked at the article for a while. 'So he may become a threat. Not that it matters, this man doesn't look like something you cannot handle. Not that anything looks like that, but… Wait, how do you know about Clarissa's childhood friends?'

Sebastian smiled. 'Humans talk a lot more than other creatures do,' was the only answer Ciel got.

Ciel sighed, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again. 'Go and check on Clarissa, see if she's okay and then return to my room,' he then said.

Sebastian bowed. 'Yes, my Lord.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I went to sleep before Ciel was home. I'd planned to wait for him, but when he didn't come, I decided that, because tomorrow was a school day, it was best to go to sleep.

But in my sleep, nightmares haunted me. Drossel with purple eyes, singing loud in my ears as he pushed me against the wall, ready to go anything to break me. Pictures of the doll in my room, haunting me as I slept. But the worst one was the third nightmare.

Sebastian stood there, in some sort of ruin, holding a unmoving Ciel in his arms. As he looked up at me, his eyes glowed, looking like glowing red cat-eyes. This time I saw that he wasn't wearing his gloves for a change, he had long pale hands with long, dark nails. Everything about the picture screamed 'demon!'. But that wasn't why I was scared, why I felt trapped in a nightmare that seemed all too true. Because Ciel wasn't moving.

And that was Sebastian's fault.

The moment I started to scream was the moment someone pulled me up and started to shake me around. 'Clarissa!' a voice that I really did not want to hear right now said. 'Come on, wake up,' Sebastian said, now sounding like a nanny.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was sitting straight up in bed, but not because I was holding myself straight, but because Sebastian had me in his arms.

Something I really didn't want right now. I pulled free and he let me, not trying to stop me as I pulled away from him and shove to the other side of the bed, as far away from his as I could. 'What are you doing in my room?' I asked, certain that I'd locked the door before I went to sleep, too scared that someone might retrieve his doll at night.

Sebastian sighed. 'Are you really asking a demon how he entered a room? Do you really think walls stop me?'

I didn't answer, because, somehow, I knew that it didn't. Then I realized that it was Monday night and I looked at the clock. 'Oh, shit! It's one in the morning.' I moaned. 'And I have school today too. This will be the worst!'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'School? What are you talking about? It's Christmas break, Clarissa. Even you should know that.'

I frowned. 'Christmas break? Since when?' He was right, even I should know that. So why didn't I?

He chuckled. 'My oh my, it seems like you're still half asleep. How amusing.' His eyes glowed. 'And how _human_.' Then he got a look in his eyes that I didn't trust and didn't like. And he just stared at me like that.

'Stop doing that,' I said, hearing that my voice indeed sounded like I was still half-asleep.

Sebastian tilted his head. 'Stop doing what?'

I pulled up my legs and wrapped my arms around them, trying to hide my face while also looking at him. 'That brainwash thing you're trying to do to me. I know that you like to mess with people, but I'm not up for it.'

Then a sincere look appeared on his face. 'I'm not doing anything to you,' he said and his words sounded like the truth.

And that was exactly the reason why I didn't believe them. 'Sure you are. You know what you do. You've said so yourself, that you were an amazing seducer. I know it and I'm sure there are a lot other females who know it. And even men, I'd say,' I said and the face he pulled, as if he thought about something disgusting, was a face that I didn't get. But that didn't stop me. 'You confuse me to get what you want and guess what, Sebastian? I'm done with it. Leave me alone or treat me normally, because I'm pretty sure that you're not messing around with Mei-Rin when you're not serving your master or messing with me.'

Sebastian frowned and I saw in his eyes that he knew what I was talking about. 'But I didn't kiss you,' he said.

'That- That doesn't have anything to do with it!' I mumbled, suddenly angry. I wanted to talk about how _he _was messing with _me._ Not how I kissed him in a whim. 'And it was only a second, get over yourself.'

Sebastian shook his head. 'That doesn't seem fair, right? If I have to get over myself, shouldn't you? I've behaved myself rather professionally these last days.'

I didn't say anything. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know what I could say. I was pretty certain that whatever I said, Sebastian knew a way to respond to it.

Then he said something and he sounded like he really didn't want to ask the question, but he didn't sound nervous or unsure. He asked the question as if he asked me what time it was. Only that wasn't the question he asked. 'Do you feel any sort of affection towards me?'

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'Doesn't any female? I believe we've had this conversation before.'

'No,' he said, shaking his head slowly. 'I do believe we've never talked about this before. You like my looks, so you felt like kissing me?' This question again was asked way too casual, as if we weren't talking about something really embarrassing.

'Of course not,' I grumbled. 'I'm not that shallow.'

'No?' he asked. 'Are you sure?'

'Yes,' I said, because I had asked myself the same question. 'I'm quite sure.'

He shook his head again, this time I wasn't sure why. 'Then I would like to know what you were thinking back then.'

I sighed, really didn't want to admit it. 'Well, it's complicated. Mostly because I _wasn't _thinking, actually…' I scratched the back of my head. 'But, well… I just kind of thought that I wanted to know about your history and about your way of thinking, what demons are like, how they see the human world, though from what I've got from you it seems like you do not like it very much.'

'That sounds like interest,' Sebastian said. 'Not affection.'

Wow. Déjà vu. Have I had this conversation before? 'That may be true,' I admitted and it really felt like I'd heard this before. 'But who says that interest can't grow into something else?' Oh gosh, why did I say that?

Sebastian frowned his eyebrows, as if he hadn't thought of that before. He was silent for a whole while, then he opened his mouth. 'I do believe I need to test something,' he said, sounding determined but also a bit startled.

'Sorry?' That didn't sound fun.

As Sebastian's hand came closer, I shoved even farther away from him. 'What you do think you're doing?' I asked.

'I'm trying to touch you, but you seem unwilling,' he said, as of that surprised him. Had he even listened to everything I'd just said?

'And what are you going to do If you touch me?' I asked, pulling a face that just screamed 'I do not trust you!'.

'I'll pull way and leave the room so you can sleep,' he said, sounding earnest.

I pressed my lips together, but shoved closer to him, making sure that I kept a close distance though. I wasn't sure why he suddenly wanted to touch me and what kind of 'test' that would be, but as long as it was short and he would leave me alone after, I thought it was okay.

He reached out with his right hand, then frowned and pulled it back. He stared at his gloved hand and just as I wanted to ask what was wrong, he removed the glove with his mouth (why not just with his other hand, I don't know) and reached out again.

His hand was just as I'd imagined in my dreams. Pale and with long, sharp, black nails. I wasn't sure how my mind managed to get the image right.

His fingertips touched the right side of my forehead and then, really slowly, travelled down to my cheek. The fingers remained there and I had to keep myself from shivering under his touch. Then his finger started moving again, down to my neck, where the fingertips stopped on my collar-bone. All this happened with Sebastian having a calculating expression on his face, as if he was doing math in his head.

'What?' I asked as he kept looking at me like that. I wasn't sure what his test was supposed to reveal, so I wasn't sure if this was it or not.

Then he pulled his hand back and put his glove back on before I even had the change to blink. But before I could ask anything else, he was gone.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When I woke up the next morning, I was pretty sure that I'd been dreaming all the events of last night. It seemed the only logical option to me.

But then who put my alarm clock off?

Okay, so maybe I had forgotten to put it on, that could be it, but that wouldn't explain why there was a note on my alarm clock that said: '_It's Christmas break._' It clearly was Sebastian's handwriting, though I was not sure how I knew that.

I took all the time of the world to get ready. It was 11 am and I had nowhere to go. Maybe I did have to go and pick up all my stuff that was still in Madame Red's house. Though I was happy to find that Sebastian actually had gotten me some clothes from her house, so that I didn't have to wear the same clothes another day.

Then, suddenly, my phone rang, making me rush from the bathroom to my room in only half of my clothes on. My pants and underwear were on, but I still had my hoodie in my hands. I picked up, seeing that it was again an unknown number. 'Yes?'

'_Yes?_' Ciel said, 'that's not a proper way to answer your phone. You should at least say your name.'

I sighed. 'Hello, this is Clarissa speaking. Can I help you?' I said, sounding more like secretary than any secretary I'd ever met or seen in movies.

Now Ciel was the one to sigh. 'Yes. Get ready, we'll leave in 30 minutes. Make sure you're eaten something by then. We're not stopping for lunch.'

'Um,' I said. 'Where are we going?'

'We're going to grab your belongings and to a Christmas fair.' Ciel didn't really sound happy about either of those things.

But if it was the Christmas fair that was always on the frozen Thames, then I was excited. I never got to go there, but I always heard about it. 'Oh. Okay. I'll be in the kitchen in five, is there breakfast?'

'I'll let Sebastian make something for you. But please, behave yourself today. I'm not in for your weirdness today,' he indeed sounded like he wasn't. Not that he ever was, but I decided not to say that.

'Geez, Ciel,' I said, 'I can make a sandwich myself, you know.'

'Well, maybe I just don't trust you in my kitchen without an adult watching over you,' he reacted.

'Ouch,' I said, but he had already hung up.

I pulled on the hoodie, checked if my hair was covering my scar and then hurried outside, hoping I was in the kitchen before Sebastian was.

Which of course wasn't the case. He was already making… pancakes?

I moaned. 'Please, Sebastian, just give me cereal or something. I'm going to get really fat if you keep on baking sweets for me.'

Sebastian turned around and smiled a polite smile. 'I'm very sorry, miss Lane, but we do not have any cereal. And it would be a shame if these pancakes go to waste.'

'I'm pretty sure Baldroy would _love _to have them,' I said, trying to behave as though I had never kissed him or dreamed of him.

'I'm pretty sure you would _love _to have them as well,' he said, shoving the plate with pancakes towards me. 'The Nutella stands on the table,' he then said right before I could ask.

A smile appeared on my face. Why was I worried? I should have known that Sebastian would treat me befittingly. After all, he was one hell of a butler.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'I see. The 'Frost fair' is a fitting name indeed,' Sebastian said as we walked down, on the lake, entering the market full of shops and games.

'I heard that this is the biggest Frost Fair yet!' I said excited, loving the fair before I even entered the fair. I had forgotten all my worries as soon as I saw the large fair. 'They have been doing this for hundreds of years, but previous years it wasn't save enough, so the scale wasn't that impressive, but now they decided to go all out! Did you know that this year, the Frost Fair has been existing for 200 years? Doesn't that sound really really old?'

Sebastian pressed his lips together and Ciel observed me with boredom. 'You really love this stuff, don't you?' he asked.

'Yes!' I said happily. 'Though I don't like the fact that it's at the foot of the London Bridge. I mean, what if it break down again?'

Sebastian chuckled. 'The bridge is perfectly fine, it won't break down again.' But I heard that he muttered 'probably' after his sentence, making me only worry more.

But I forgot that when I saw an ice sculpture of the Queen. 'That's so cool!' I said, running towards it with the excitement of a child.

Ciel came to stand next to me as I looked at the old looking lady. 'You've never been here before, have you?'

I shook my head. 'Did you really think that that good for nothing father of me would take me?' I sighed. 'And my grandmother didn't really go out much. I've never been to many places before. School and home are the only places, actually.'

Then my attention was draw to someone who screamed: 'Hey, hey! I'm selling this cheap enough to even blow Jack Frost away! Why not buy one for Christmas?'

Well, even though it got my attention, it Was Ciel who actually walked up to it to take a look, while staying a safe distance away from the stand to that the man selling wouldn't approach him. A strange smile had appeared on his face and I walked up to him to ask him what's wrong when Sebastian already did that for me. 'What is it, my Lord?'

Ciel sounded amused while he spoke. 'Those are all inferior goods. If the river freezes next years, the Funtom company could set up a shop.'

I had almost forgotten that Ciel was not only my classmate and a strange noble, but he was also the boss of the Funtom company. He was a businessman. I tend to forget that.

Ciel went on talking, pointed with his walking stick to a toy Noah's ark that was standing on one of the tables. 'For example that's-'

Which wasn't smart. The salesman noticed the walking stick immediately. 'Ah, sir, you have a good eye!' I wasn't sure whether that was an insult or not. 'That's a fine piece from the Funtom Workshop. In other words, from when the popular Funtom Company was still a craft studio.'

I had to keep myself from laughing. Did this man have any idea who he was talking to?

Ciel wasn't amused anymore. Now he just seemed bored and only a little bit angry. 'A blatant fake one, you mean,' he said monotone. 'The Funtom Arks are rare. Only three sets were ever made, by an artist my predecessor patronized who used the finest technology. Since our mansion burned down, even we no longer have one.' He said it so casual, as if the fact that his house had burned down, taking his parents with him, was something normal. Like the weather. 'They certainly wouldn't turn up here,' he said, closing his statement.

'Noah's Ark is like this nation itself,' Sebastian said, making me and Ciel look up at him with a confused look in our eyes.

'What?' me and Ciel said at the same time.

Sebastian looked at Ciel as he explained. 'A boat led by a single skipper,' he said, looking surprisingly serious. 'The only ones saved are a select few.' Then an amused smile appeared on his face, as if what he'd said made him happy or something. 'It's an arrogant idea.'

Wait… had Sebastian just insulted the Queen? Ciel made an angry sound and opened his mouth to say something to Sebastian when a familiar face appeared.

'You guys…' Abberline said, looking at us as if it was really strange that we were here.

Ciel now pointed his anger and annoyance towards Abberline instead of Sebastian. 'If a Scotland Yard inspector has time to frivol about here, I suppose there must be peace in London… for today.' He sounded like himself would put an end to that.

Abberline looked angry, as if Ciel was seriously accusing him of something. 'I'm not frivolling! I'm on duty!' he said, for the first time sounding angry.

Ciel wasn't impressed. 'Oh, my. Well, then, inspector, earn your wages in faithful service to Queen and country.'

I started to think that Ciel had a unhealthy obsession with the Queen.

Ciel turned his back to the inspector, starting to walk away when Abberline said: 'Wait, I still have questions for you two!'

That made Ciel turn around. 'Us two?' he asked, giving me a glance. 'And about which two are you talking about?'

'You,' he said, 'and miss Lane.' When I gave him my 'please shut up now'-face, he frowned. 'Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that you knew…'

'That I knew what?' Ciel said, now sounding angry. The kind of angry that you only heard when someone who always pulled the strings had missed some of the strings and those puppets were now dancing on their own.

I slapped myself in the face. This was going to be a very long day.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**So that was chapter twenty-one!**

**Miyoko-tan **& **Shadow demon Kitsune: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it! :D**

**Effervescent Ocean****: That would have worked, too! Ha ha, I actually really like their version too :)**

**Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! See you next time!**


	22. Chapter 22

**So I was drinking tea while writing this chapter and then I almost poured tea all over my laptop… Glad that didn't happen!**

**And I'm really, really, really tired, but wanted this chapter to be finished so that I could start with a really exciting chapter tomorrow, so this chapter isn't that great, since it was a little rushed and there are probably a lot of typos as well, since I'm tired… So sorry about that. I'll probably fix this chapter soon.**

**Anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji. I think. Nope, I definitely don't.**

**But I do own Clarissa.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 22**

'So, what's a detective from Scotland Yard doing here, Inspector Abberline?' Ciel asked.

Me, Ciel and Abberline were sitting in some sort of Chinese shop on the Fair and were – of course – drinking tea. This had been Ciel's idea, but me and Abberline both didn't seem to like it as much. I didn't because I was scared that Ciel would be mad that I hadn't told him about the little meeting in the hospital and Abberline probably didn't because he had work to do. Anyway, Ciel didn't care about that.

Sebastian wasn't with us, he'd gone to Madame Red's house to pick up my belongings. I felt somewhat relieved that he was gone for a few minutes.

Abberline put his tea down and frowned. 'A man's corpse was discovered underneath the ice this morning,' he explained, making me only more unsure about the Frost Fair.

Ciel ate one of the cookies that they'd put on the table for us, not bothered by this subject of death at all. Maybe the way the acted was also a way to make Abberline talk more.

'He was a member of a certain criminal organisation,' Abberline went on, 'we're are currently looking for the killer and the ring he stole.'

I decided to follow Ciel's example and grabbed a cookie.

Then Abberline said: 'There's a blue diamond set in the ring that's supposedly worth 2000 quid.'

When I heard the amount of many, I nearly dropped the cookie into my tea. '2000 quid for a ring?' I asked, not believing him while also believing him.

Then someone standing next our table joined the conversation. 'The diamond… the gemstone that gleams in eternal radiance,' Lau said, making me roll my eyes. A Chinese shop, with sexy waitresses and a strange smell. I should've known. 'Legend has it that those bewitched by its sparkle are compelled to pursue it even when they know only destruction awaits.'

Abberline was so shocked that he shoot up from his chair. 'How do you know about the Hope piece?!' he asked, of course thinking that he got himself a suspect, which both me and Ciel knew wasn't true.

Still Ciel seemed shocked, but about something else. 'The Hope piece?' he repeated, sounding surprised.

Then Lau pulled an innocent and dumb face while hugging that girl he was always with. I believe her name began with an 'R'. 'Hmm? What's this? So there really is a jewel like that? Oh, my…'

Ciel looked annoyed, but not surprised. Abberline looked unsure. And I just looked how I always looked when Lau entered the picture. A look full of disapproval.

'What?' Abberline said. 'But-but you just said-'

I sighed and Ciel interrupted him. 'He was just blathering. Don't give him attention. Never mind that. Lau, what are you doing here?' he asked, making me confused. Wait, I figured it out before Ciel did?

Awesome.

Lau still had that dumb look on his face as he said: 'I own his place.'

Ciel looked at me, realised that I had realised that already and pulled a face that showed annoyance. 'I see,' he said.

Abberline sat back down again, knowing that this guy wasn't very helpful for his investigation.

'Say,' Lau said, 'this "Hope" thing sounds very interesting, my Lord. Will you tell me more?' He asked, sitting down on the fourth chair on our table, the girl immediately on his lap the moment he sat down.

Ciel put down his tea and sighed. 'You've never heard about the blue diamond that we call the Hope because it was part of Henry Philip Hope's collection?'

Well, I sure didn't. Was I supposed to know that? It didn't seem like common knowledge.

'Nope,' Lau said, making sure that we'd have to listen to some sort of historical boring story. Great. Talking with Ciel did not only turn my life around, it also brought more education into my life. Not something I could be happy about.

'Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette… It's known as a diabolical stone that's passed through the hands of many owners and driven them all to ruin. Then, after being stolen yet again, the diamond was cut to disguise it, producing smaller pieces. They say only two pieces of the Hope diamond exist. Is one of those the ring you're searching for, Abberline?'

Abberline didn't answer the question immediately, but he did talk, looking at the table as he did. 'Explosives were used on a carriage transporting evidence, and it was stolen,' he said, making the answer a clear 'yes' without actually saying it.

Ciel had forgotten all about his tea now and leaned forward, seemed truly interested. 'Interesting. Give me details, I'll lend you a hand in this.' Abberline's mouth dropped open, making a not really joyful smile appear on Ciel's face. 'Naturally I won't force you,' he said, making me roll my eyes. _Naturally_. Yeah, right. 'But Sir Arthur might find himself in a rather awkward position.' And there is was. The reason why Abberline was going to help Ciel no matter if he used force or not.

Abberline nodded. 'I do believe I cannot give you the details, but I know a man who can, since he was the one who takes care of the de-'

Ciel interrupted him, knowing exactly who Abberline was talking about. 'Ah, if it's the Undertaker we're talking about, then we'll visit him shortly. But first I would like to know why you wanted to talk to me and miss Lane.'

Oh no.

Abberline scratched the back of his head. 'Well, Randall wanted me to ask some more questions… Not only because you're an owner of the other Hope piece, but also because we found out that Drossel Keinz might be the one behind the murder.'

I froze. Ciel frowned. 'At what does Drossel Keinz have to do with me?' he asked, giving me a glance. Oh, shit. Did he already know? _Sebastian, you traitor._

'Well, we looked into Drossel Keinz and we figured out that he'd lived with miss Lane's grandmother for a few years and well, that made Clarissa a bit suspicious. Not only because she hadn't told that during our previous meeting, but also because now, Sir Keinz is a suspect in a murder case, making her a suspect in this case, too.'

I could slap myself. Great, so now people were suspecting me of a murder I _didn't _committed, while they didn't seem to worry about the murder that I had _possibly _committed.

Ciel laughed. 'I assure you that miss Lane is absolutely innocent, why would her being a childhood friend of Sir Keinz make her a suspect?'

'Because… he really doesn't know, does he?' Abberline asked me nervously.

I shook my head and then decided that I could best explain to Ciel. 'While you were in the hospital I got lost' – I left Ash out of the story for now – 'and ended in the cellar, where I had a short encounter with Drossel before a nurse sent him back to his room.'

Ciel frowned, not sure what to think of this new information. 'Then I do believe that they have a good reason to suspect you,' he then said and after that he stood up, clearly finishing the conversation on his own terms. 'I'm bored. Let's get going.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The only think Abberline had to do was to stroll inside the Undertaker's shop and introduce himself as the police inspector that he was.

The Undertaker started laughing as if Abberline was the funniest person in the world. 'You're amazing!' he said, pointing at the confused police inspector. 'I tell you, you're in the wrong business!'

That was something I, unfortunately, did agree with.

'You could rule the world of comedy!' the Undertaker then said.

That was something I, fortunately, did not agree with.

Lau came to stand next to me. 'So. Where are we?'

'Are you serious?!' I asked. 'We're at the Undertaker's shop! You've been here, like, two days ago!'

Lau did seem to remember it now. 'Aaah.'

I rolled my eyes. Geez, what was with that guy? Did he have a short term memory or was he dumb on purpose?

'What did you do?' Ciel asked Abberline as he walked in behind me, Sebastian and Lau. That girl hadn't come with us.

Abberline looked absolutely shocked. 'I-I was just conversing normally, but out of nowhere he…'

The Undertaker started to laugh again, as if only the sound of Abberline's voice was too much for him to handle.

Ciel clenched his teeth. 'Abberline, you are a man to be feared,' he said, but I wasn't sure if it was meant as a joke or not.

Even Sebastian looked down, but more in a 'I will slowly kill you' way then in a 'you just eat my cake' kind of way. 'It appears you are rather skilled, Inspector,' he said, his voice colder then ice.

I giggled. He couldn't be serious, right? The glance he gave me only showed me that he actually was, which made me giggle again.

'Tell me about the ring, Undertaker,' Ciel said, ignoring the angry looks Sebastian was giving Abberline. 'If you have the frozen corpse, then you should have it!'

The Undertaker didn't give an answer, he just kept giggling.

Abberline decided it was a good idea to partake in the conversation. 'It might be buried near where the body was found. As an upstanding citizen of London, I call on you to cooperate with us.'

I was happy that that didn't make the Undertaker laugh again, though he was still giggling while he said: 'I'm profoundly impressed, inspector. I'll tell you about it. The ring is…' A smile appeared on his face, a smile that looked way too happy for the situation we were in.

'Stop being mysterious and say it! Where is the ring?!' I asked, because now I was getting impatient.

The Undertaker laughed. 'You've already laid your eyes on the ring, little miss!' he said, still smiling that strange smile.

'Oh, really? And when and where was that?' I asked, pulling up an eyebrow.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Abberline was doing a pretty impressive '_scream_'-impression while we were standing in front of the Queen Victoria ice sculpture.

Ciel looked grumpy, Sebastian looked neutral and Lau smiled dumb. 'It looks like the artist found the frozen ring and designed the sculpture to compliment it.'

Abberline had his mind together by then. 'Collect it!' he screamed at some police men that were standing under the London bridge, smoking. 'Right now!'

The men dropped their cigarettes and ran over to the sculpture. 'Yes, sir!' they said, reaching towards the ring.

'What are you doing?!' an angry voice screamed from behind us.

We all turned around to see a group rich people, most of them were old (and fat), but one of them was surprisingly handsome. And also looked surprisingly familiar.

Aleister Chamber was standing there, completely dressed in white. He even had a white rose in his hands. 'That is the sacred lady bestowed on the victor,' he said and I wasn't sure if he was talking to us or to his rose. Then he kissed the rose and finally looked at us. Well, at _me. _'You mustn't touch her.'

While the group rich people explained why the police couldn't just destroy the sculpture, Sebastian had to physically restrain me from attacking Aleister and gouging his eyes out. Which was something that I really had planned on doing.

It was clear that these people, whoever they were, weren't doing to let us take the ring without protest and I knew that Ciel hated making a scene, so we just stood there. Eventually I calmed down and Sebastian let me go.

But then Aleister Chamber smiled and pulled the finger of Queens Victoria – as well as the ring – free from the sculpture, handing it to me. 'An apology for the fair lady,' he said, giving me a wink.

Sebastian grabbed my shoulders, ready to stop me if I would try to attack him. Which I didn't. I kept myself in check. After all, we'd got what we wanted. I put the ring (and the ice-finger that came with it) in the pocket of my coat and said: 'If that was all, shall we go then?' I felt kind of badass that I was the on who'd gotten the ring, Who needs who, Ciel Phantomhive?

Ciel and Abberline frowned. 'That's evidence, miss Lane,' Abberline said. 'You're not supposed to keep it.'

I shook my head. 'I won't. But I do believe that the last owner ended up under the frozen lake, so someone if after this thing. I thought that it would be a smart way to find the killer if I kept it. The one to attack me is the owner. Does that sound like a plan?' I was already feeling like a badass right now, but that wasn't the only reason that I volunteered. I also did that because there was a chance that Drossel was behind this and if it was, I was sure I could talk him out of it. Or I could trust Ciel that he would order Sebastian to save me. I felt in any case save enough to volunteer. And if I really wanted to become part of the Phantomhive Queen Guard Dog Team (the P.Q.G.T?) then I supposed that this was the way to do it.

'Yes,' Ciel said, the same time when Abberline said: 'No.' Then Abberline added: 'You're way too long. This is something Scotland Yard should handle.' He pulled out his hand and kept it in front of me. 'Give me the ring.'

I looked over at Ciel, waiting for approval. Wait… when had I become Ciel's minion?

Ciel closed his eye and nodded, said that it was okay to give it away without words.

I sighed and reached into the pocket of my coat, which was now wet because of the melted ices. But I didn't find the ring. I frowned as I looked up. 'The ring's gone,' I said, sounding completely shocked.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

He walked towards the room upstairs, opening the door while sounding like old stairs. 'So I thought to myself that the Hope piece has found a new keeper on his own, my master,' he said in a strange mantra, while bowing for the man that was sitting in the chair, looking out the window, looking at the city that seemed so boring but also so interesting.

The man closed his eyes while contentedly humming a song. 'Hold on, my dear child. My chess pieces finally start moving. Soon it will all be… over,' he said, smiling a devious smile as he started to sing out loud: '_London is burning down, burning down, burning down. London is burning down, my fair lady._'

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><p>XxX<p>

**That was chapter twenty-two. Sorry if it was a bit short, but I couldn't drag this chapter out any longer.**

**justaislinn: ha ha, me too! I also always say 'Shieru Fantomhivu' instead of 'Ciel Phantomhive', because that's the way they say it in the anime. It's also easier to say it that way for me, since the Dutch accent and Japanese accent have a lot in common when it comes to pronunciation, so that's a plus for me!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Merry Christmas (a bit late, but yeah) and a Happy New Year (a bit early, but yeah)! I'm not sure whether I will update before Wednesday or not, so I'm say it now just in case.**

**This actually isn't the exciting chapter that I was talking about before, because after some thinking I wanted to do this (bit of a filler) chapter.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa.**

**Enjoy chapter twenty-three, everyone! Love you guys! And sorry for the typos (again)**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 23**

I was really happy that Ciel trusted me (or actually Sebastian, since he told Ciel that I really didn't have the ring on me anymore, without having to do a body search, which was both a blessing and a shame), just sighed and then said that we still had some time to walk around the Frost Fair.

But my happy-time was kind of done by now. Certainly after the ring-disappearing accident. I usually wouldn't have believed such bullshit, but with demons making contracts with little children, I left like anything could happen.

But what really killed the mood was walking around with Sebastian. All the girls stared, whether they recognized him or not, and if they did, they asked Ciel and Sebastian if they could take a picture with them. Luckily for me, Ciel never agreed and Sebastian also always declined saying 'my Lord doesn't want any pictures to be taken from either him or me' so that worked out. But it was still _really _annoying.

The other thing that was not only annoying, but wasn't something I liked was the fact that there was some on this market, a musician or something, that was playing _London bridge is falling down_ over and over again. I didn't always hear it and I never saw the musician, but from time to time I would hear the melody and I would freeze for a few seconds before getting myself back together and continue to walk.

When Ciel finally decided to go home, it was because Sebastian had said that he wanted to make preparations for lunch.

Though I really did doubt that that was the reason why Sebastian wanted to leave. Even though he was polite towards everyone who talked to him, I could almost _feel _his annoyance over simple teenage girls. And honestly, I didn't blame him.

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><p>XxX<p>

I followed Sebastian towards the kitchen as he went there, not because I wanted to stalk him, but because I thought of a response to his words from earlier in the car.

'Hey, Seb,' I said, too lazy to say his whole name.

'Yes, my Lady?' he answered as he started to get ingredients out of the fridge.

I went to sit of the table in the kitchen again, ignoring the fact that there were chairs. 'You said that Noah was arrogant, right?' I asked, sweeping my legs up and down and up and down, blocking his way so that he couldn't reach the pans.

'Hmm, yes, I do believe I've said that,' he said as he grabbed my legs and put them on the table, turning me around in the process. 'What about it?'

I waited for a while, thought about how to say it. 'Don't you think it's more arrogant, not to mention foolish, to think you can save everyone?'

Sebastian was silent for about three seconds before answering. 'So it would seem,' he said. 'Too humans, certainly.' He was already busy preparing Ciel's lunch.

I frowned. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

He turned around, looked at me with a strange look in his eyes. 'Well, a human wouldn't be able to save everyone, but a demon would be able to.'

'And maybe that's exactly why demons have that sort of power and humans don't,' I said, wanting to – for once – be smarter than him. 'Because demons can handle such power. I human could most probably not.'

'Oh?' Sebastian said leaving the lunch to stand close to me. 'You think a demon can handle such power?'

I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. 'Don't you think so?'

A amused smile appeared on his face. 'Maybe I do, but I never thought you would think that. Most certainly since you know about my contract with Ciel.'

That reminded me of I question that I wanted to ask. 'Ciel has a seal of your contract on his eye.' I frowned. 'Or in his eye. I'm not really sure.' I shook my head. 'What I don't get is, why don't you?'

Sebastian's smile faded and he turned to the kitchen counter again. 'I do have one,' he said. 'It's just not on or in my eye. The only reason he was it close to his eye is because it makes him easier to find. A seal close to the eye makes it impossible to run from a demon.' His words were cold, but he didn't sound like he was proud, as I thought he would. He just sounded casual, as if he was explaining math to me.

'Where's your seal?' I asked, hoping that I wasn't asking an indecent question.

Sebastian waved with his left hand and that was the only answer I got from him.

But I wasn't going to accept that as an answer.

I grabbed his gloved hand, turning him around in the process. He looked at me surprised, but allowed me to take the glove off. I kind of felt like Tarzan, when he took Jane's glove.

The hand was pale and had black nails, just like his right hand. But his right hand didn't have a mark on him.

It was actually pretty much the same as the mark on Ciel's eyes, only this was black and looked more like a tattoo or something. My fingers went across the mark, but it felt normal. Well, normal for Sebastian's skin, since that didn't feel all to normal. It felt like I was touching something incredible soft and-

I stopped thinking and dropped the hand, but held onto the glove. 'Is that why you wear these?' I asked. 'To hide the mark? Just like Ciel covers his eye with an eye-patch?'

He nodded, taking the glove out of my hands. While he put the glove back on he said: 'It's also part of the traditional butler attire. I wouldn't be worthy of the house of Phantomhive if I wasn't even dressed properly.'

'Ciel isn't dressed properly,' I murmured, but he ignored that.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'I bet you would _love _this story,' Ciel said the next morning, handing me a magazine that didn't look like his usual read.

And a very familiar face was on the front page.

'Wait, why am I on the front cover? And why with that awful Aleister?!' I said, immediately opening the magazine to look for the article.

_Does Aleister Chamber, who was released from prison just a few days ago because of lach of evidence and good behaviour, have a knew love interest? We all might think so after yesterday's drama. Poor Sebastian is going to get some competition._

_The details are still unclear, but we know that Aleister gave Clarissa a silver ring yesterday at the frost fair, which got him into trouble later on. Well, Aleister, maybe you shouldn't have ripped a finger from an ice sculpture's body to impress a lady?_

_But what's going on with Sebastian and Clarissa? Or is it Clarissa and Ciel? Who is after Clarissa and which one will Clarissa chose? I'm just saying it now, I'm team Ciel. Because Sebastian is better off single (all the girls would be heartbroken if he ever stopped being just that) and Aleister is a pervert. _

'God!' I screamed, throwing the magazine on the ground. 'That's just bullshit!' Me and Ciel? I rather gauge my eyes out. 'Why are you two laughing?!' I asked angry when I saw that Sebastian and Ciel were chuckling.

'This is what you have to deal with if you want to keep hanging around me, Clarissa,' Ciel said. 'I don't mind and Sebastian is ordered not to mind. So please, ignore the gossip. Though I must admit that I think your reaction is rather amusing, it can also be annoying.'

I frowned and looked at my breakfast, not feeling hungry anymore. 'I still don't get why it isn't bothering you.'

'Why should it?' Ciel asked, pulling up an eyebrow. 'It isn't like what they are saying is true, nor do I care. They can say about me what they want, as long as they don't humiliate me. The moment that magazine is saying something about me that I cannot ignore, I will make sure to kill everyone responsible.'

The saddest part was that he was actually serious.

I looked at Sebastian. 'I should've known that it wouldn't bother you, but that doesn't mean that I'm not surprised.'

An amused smile appeared on the demon's face. 'I couldn't care less about what humans think of me.'

I sighed. 'I know, I know. And I don't necessarily care either, but it _does _bother me. I mean… Aleister? Really? _Aleister?! _Do they kind I'm stupid?!'

'Yes,' Ciel said. 'Quite correctly I'm afraid.'

I pulled a sour face. 'Thanks a lot, kid.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I went outside after breakfast, not wanting to look at Ciel or Sebastian because the article was still flowing in my mind like some sort of ghost, who was torturing me from the inside.

I found Mei-Rin and Finnian in the garden, they looked surprisingly sad. 'What's going on?' I asked as I walked down the stairs that led towards them.

'Why can't we celebrate?' Finnian asked no one in particular. 'Tomorrow is…'

'It's a special occasion,' Mei-Rin said when Finnian didn't finish. 'So I wish it could me flashy and lively and fun, yes!'

I wasn't sure what they were talking about. 'What do you mean? Christmas is still far away. We still have ten days to go.'

Mei-Rin shook her head. 'We're not talking about Christmas, Clarissa. We're talking about an more important and more special occasion, yes!'

But before I could ask what this 'more important and more special occasion' was, I car drove towards us with a speed that was really dangerous. Most certainly since the road towards the mansion wasn't exactly fantastic quality.

The car stopped right before us and a familiar face jumped out. 'I'm here!' Elizabeth said, smiling happily.

I looked at Finnian and Mei-Rin, because I knew that their reactions were going to be hilarious. 'Lady Elizabeth!' they screamed in unison, sounding nervous but also really terrified.

Elizabeth's maid stepped out of the car as well, dressed in a brown coat and wearing a black hat that looked surprisingly cute.

I was surprised that I was the first one Elizabeth attacked. '_Clarissaaaa_!' she screamed. 'I've missed you _sooooooo_ much!' Then she released me. 'Where's Ciel?'

'Inside, I guess,' I said, but before I even finished she was already running up the stairs, hurrying to see Ciel. I wasn't sure why, but I ran after her, still not understanding how Ciel managed to like this girl, since he was always so easily annoyed and bored.

As she opened the door, which I unlocked as I walked out a few minutes ago, I saw Ciel walking up the big stairs in the entrance hall.

Ciel didn't even have time to turn around. Elizabeth ran towards him and spun him around while laughing a laugh that only children could laugh. This all happened while I was just standing in the entrance hall with the maid and Sebastian was standing next to Ciel and Elizabeth, just observing Elizabeth's enthusiasm.

Then Elizabeth realised Ciel and grabbed something from her purse that looked like a ring. That wouldn't been strange, except for the fact that we'd all seen that ring before. 'Ciel, I found this at home. It's yours, right?'

I walked up the stairs now, but only to be able to look at the ring properly. But it definitely was the ring that I'd lost yesterday. How the hell did it end up in Elizabeth's house?

As Ciel but out his hand to take the ring, Elizabeth grabbed his hand. 'Huh? I thought this was the ring! If this isn't the ring then it must be one of my parents' rings!' she said, immediately putting the ring back into her pocket. 'Aw, that's a shame! Now I really don't have anything for your birthday!'

I froze and Ciel frowned. 'Birthday?' I repeated, suddenly understanding Finnian and Mei-Rin's words.

Of course, I got ignored. 'But you see,' Elizabeth said, 'I didn't want to buy anything because a proper lady wouldn't try to win her gentleman with material things! That's disgraceful!' Then she smiled a smile way too innocent for my eyes. 'Well, then, good afternoon!' she then said, pulling her and her maid out of the house before anyone could argue.

'What was that about?' Ciel mumbled, a hand in his hair.

'Birthday?' I said, looking at him with one eyebrow pulled up.

He sighed. 'It's not important. What's important is that she somehow managed to get some sort of replica of a Hope Piece in her house.'

'You think that was a replica?' I asked, frowning.

'Of course it was,' Ciel said, talking to me as if I was stupid. 'The real Hope piece is probably in the Themes right now, because _someone _dropped it.'

'I didn't drop it,' I said, 'and I'm quite sure that that was the actual Hope piece. I don't know much, but I'm pretty sure about that.'

Ciel sighed. 'Even so, I have no orders from the Queen to return the piece to his rightful owners, so I won't bother myself with trivia like that.'

I sighed too, then decided to change the subject. 'Birthday?' I asked for the third time, hoping that this time, I would get more of a reaction.

Which I did get. Just not from Ciel. 'Tomorrow is your birthday,' Sebastian said, talking to Ciel. 'Well, Young Master? Why not hold a birthday party? After all, it seems there are others who wish to celebrate, too.'

Well, I actually didn't really want to go to a birthday party. Not because I didn't like Ciel, just because I didn't like parties. But that wasn't such a nice thing to say, so I just kept my mouth shut.

I saw a lot of emotions flash across Ciel's face and none of them were happy. That made me frown and also a bit sad. I understood why a boy such as Ciel wouldn't like his birthday. I hated mine ever since I was small. But it seemed to be more than that. 'My birthday…' was the only thing Ciel said. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. But when he finally snapped out of it, he didn't say anything else. He just walked away.

'Young Master?' Sebastian asked, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew what was going on in Ciel's mind.

'This is nonsense,' Ciel then said, lost every emotion that he had the past few minutes. 'Bring tea to my room,' he added as he walked off.

Sebastian just smiled. 'Very good, my Lord.' Then he stood straight to look at me, but the look on his eyes made me from. He didn't look happy. He almost looked sad, as if something had cost him grief.

That was strange because I never thought that sadness was something that Sebastian could feel. Or anyone could make him feel.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Paula and Elizabeth were stuck in traffic.

'Ah, well, at least we can look at all the people on the street,' Paula said, looking out of the window. 'Look, young lady! A dog! So cute!'

'Paula,' Elizabeth said, sounding surprisingly sad.

'Yes, young lady?' she asked, smiling a smile that women her age almost never smiled, but Paula seemed to smile like that all the time.

A sad smile appeared on Elizabeth's face. 'You always seem so happy,' she then says.

The bright smile on Paula's face disappeared immediately. 'I apologize, my lady!' she said, sounding extremely apologetic.

The sad smile remained on the girl's face. 'No, I'm not criticizing. You just seem so cheerful, with no cares in the world. I envy you.'

The maid didn't understand. 'B-but you're usually… that is, I mean to say…' She clearly wasn't sure how to say the thing she wanted to say. She decided that it would be best to just change the subject. 'At any rate, this traffic is really at a standstill, isn't it? What will we do if we're stuck until nightfall?'

Elizabeth wasn't listening anymore. She stared at the ring in her hands, which had started to glow. But it wasn't glowing for her.

As she heard a familiar melody in her ears she looked to the right, were an organ grinder was standing in the shadows of a dark alley. She stared at the man, seeing how he faded away when he melody disappeared.

She got out of the car, ignoring her maid, who was still talking and not looking at her, and followed the melody that seemed to be playing only in her head, with the ring in her hand as if it was her most precious possession.

She'd started to run now, chasing after the melody of the organ grinder as if it was her only hope. She stood still when she found a little shop. _Angel's Wing Antique. _Without hesitating she walked to the display window and looked at the dolls that were exhibit there. The one she stared at was a doll with blond hair and blue eyes that looked really sad for some reason. Then she just walked into the store, but hesitated as she entered.

Dolls. Dolls everywhere. More dolls wherever she looked. And it weren't dolls that you saw in the normal toy shops, this were dolls that looked like the dolls from old England, from before things as plastic existed.

The moment she closed the door was the moment the melody stopped.

'Welcome,' the organ grinder said, surprisingly monotone. He was sitting in a chair across the room, with the small organ on his lap and a expressionless face.

When he didn't say anything else, Elizabeth was forced to open her mouth. 'E-er,' she began, but then the man stood up and started to talk, almost as if he'd waited for her to say something so that he could interrupt her.

'That ring,' he said, 'what a shame. I did not select you as the owner,' but even though he said it was a shame, he sounded really indifferent about it. A normal human would start to wonder if this man could feel anything. He walked up to the girl and bowed down so that he could look her in the eyes properly. 'However, your eyes…' He reached out his hand, seeing the opportunities of such green eyes. They would look fantastic in one if his dolls.

Elizabeth did not get what the man was trying to say. 'E-Er… Ciel is the only boy I…'

The man didn't seem to listen. 'Your eyes have a very deep, sorrowful colour,' he said, surprising the little girl before him. 'I can tell… you are very sad,' he said, only coming closer to her, almost as if he wanted to touch her sadness and sorrow.

As the music started again, it seemed like the sad dolls in the room started to smile. It did not occur to the girl that an organ couldn't play without its grinder. It did not occur to the girl that her maid was looking for her.

It did not occur to anyone that this man wasn't alive anymore.

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><p>XxX<p>

**The end (of this chapter)!**

**D8nise: thank you! And a Merry Christmas to you, too! :)**

**wolf-akuma: Jup :) Though things might be different now, since Pluto isn't here (which I do not regret, I love him, but I had no idea how I could work him into the story in a way that would work)**

**Guest: thank you! Love to hear that people enjoy the story!**

**I actually finally had time to watch the Book of Circus season-thingy and I have to be honest and say that I liked it a hundred times more than season 2. Mostly because it followed the manga and I love the manga. And I cried! I almost never cry! Okay, I cried quite a lot during episode 23 and 24 of season 1, but that doesn't matter! It was sad!**

**I also really liked the opening and ending. The first time I saw them, I wasn't sure about them, but now I really love them! Especially the opening between 00:20 and 00:40, that just makes me shiver every single time (because it's awesome. And because Sebastian really does scare me from time to time). **

**Which reminds me of something. When I watched Kuroshitsuji for the first time, I loved explaining the story in a strange way to my friends, like: 'It's a story about a twelve-year old boy who lives in the middle of nowhere in this gigantic mansion and owns a toy company. Oh, and he's living with his butler, a man who's like a hundred years old and protecting him because he wants to eat him someday.' Their reactions are just perfect.**

**And I'm talking too much again, oops…**

**Anyway, see you soon, my little kittens!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Happy new year! A bit early, I know, but since I'm updating today (geez, I really have no life XD) I say it now. I'm probably updating tomorrow as well. Not sure yet.**

**Anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji. I love to own little Ciel and Sebas-chan, but I don't. I do own Clarissa. Oh, and I'm sick, so it wouldn't surprise me if the typos are worse than ever. Anyway, let's start the chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 24**

I woke up screaming, not surprised to see that I wasn't laying in my bed. I had fallen asleep on the couch in Ciel's office. I'd sat there because I didn't want to be alone, so I hung around him and Sebastian as they did some stuff. Sebastian wasn't good with technology (what a shocker), so he was reading through papers as Ciel was typing stuff on his computer.

They both stared at me as I shot up from the couch, breathing as if I almost drowned. 'Elizabeth!' I said, covering my face with my hands. 'Oh my god.'

Ciel sighed. 'Sebastian,' he said and that was enough for the butler to walk towards me, ready to do anything to comfort me.

'Clarissa,' he said, grabbing my hands and pulling them off my face. 'It was just a dream. Calm dow-'

A mobile phone rang. And since I didn't recognize the song, I knew it was Ciel. I highly doubt that Sebastian owned a phone. Or knew what they were.

Ciel answered the phone. 'Yes?... Paula?' he sounded surprised. 'Elizabeth vanished?' he asked, surprisingly calm now, but with a frown on his face. 'Islington, you say?' He hung up. 'We're going there immediately,' he said, getting up from his chair. 'What is she _thinking?!_'

Sebastian turned back to me. 'My lady?' he said, frowning when he saw that he stood there with panic written all over my face, frozen into something that wasn't entirely me.

'I know where she is,' I said, because I knew. Islington. Drossel. The Hope piece. Everything had fallen to place in my dreams.

Sebastian and Ciel both looked at me with a strange expression. 'How do you-'

'I know where she is!' I screamed it now. 'Just trust me for once and let me give directions. If Elizabeth is with _him_, it means that there's a big chance that we might already be too late.'

'But master, what about the investigation?' Sebastian asked, clearly talking about something that I didn't know anything about.

I somehow managed to ask a question, but I sounded like a crazy person. 'What investigation? Did you get another task for the Queen?'

Ciel sighed. 'Young girls are getting kidnapped. Bodies aren't found, but…' He stopped, clearly irritated. 'Shit,' he then said.

My eyebrow rose and I knew that Sebastian's rose too. Ciel never swore.

'All the girls got the Hope piece before they were kidnapped,' Sebastian said, 'meaning that the one that lady Elizabeth found might not be a replica.' A wicked smile appeared on his face. 'It seems like everything is connected.'

Ciel twitched. 'Sebastian, you will go and investigate the kidnappings. Question those who knew the victims and come up with a suspect list. I'll go with Clarissa to wherever she thinks Elizabeth is. If she's there, the other girls might be there, too.' He looked at me. 'Are you sure you know where to find her?'

I wasn't sure if I should be happy or not. It seemed that he trusted me, but the fact that he sent Sebastian out on almost the same mission made me question his trust. 'Yes, I do,' I said, trying to sound as convincing as I possibly could.

Ciel nodded. 'Okay then. Let's go.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian dropped us at the point that Paula, Elizabeth's maid, had given Ciel, the point where she'd lost her lady.

It was the same. I knew exactly which alley I had to walk to and Ciel followed me without saying all that much.

'How do you know where to find her?' he asked me after a while. We'd been walking through alleys for a while now. I was actually surprised it took him this long to ask.

'My grandma used to own an antique shop,' I began. 'It closed down when she died.' I swallowed. 'Drossel loved the shop. He loved all the antique dolls. He used to tell me that dolls are attracted to human souls, because they are empty inside. And humans aren't.' A sad smile appeared on my face. 'He used to tell me that a dolls eyes were their souls and they should be the most beautiful part of the doll.'

Ciel clearly didn't get where I was going with this. 'And what does this have to with finding Eli-'

'He always said that he wanted to turn me into one of his dolls,' I said, not looking at Ciel anymore as we walked towards an alley without light. 'And the night that he lost his mind, he tried to do exactly that.'

'I still don't get it,' Ciel said after a while.

There, at the end of the alley was the familiar light. And the light in the shop were on. It didn't look closed down at all. 'I knew it,' I said, though I wasn't sure how. 'I knew that if Drossel escaped, this would be the place where he would go. Not because of the fact that it was his home. Not because of the fact that he was looking for me.' We reached the shop and the door opened itself on its own. 'But because Drossel Keinz loved his dolls.'

'I spy a gorgeous man!' someone yelled, making me jump, but now scaring Ciel at all. Ciel immediately looked up, so I just followed his gaze.

A flash of red before my eyes revealed a familiar face, though I was quite sure that I'd never seen the man before. 'Huh? You're not a gorgeous man. You are a ugly girl,' he said, lifting me up to see if there was anyone else. 'No, no, no! Where is Sebas-chan?!' the man screamed in despair.

'You are-' Ciel began, but he couldn't finish.

'After the Madam Red incident I was temporarily demoted,' he said and I was sure that I'd heard that voice before. But _where?_ 'Now I'm only a lowly assistant. That brute Will told me he won't give me my old post back until I collect some truly troublesome souls. That rotten sadist!' He sounded angry up until now, but then his voice became thoughtful. 'Though it's true that food tastes better when it's rotten…'

No, it does not.

Then the man hugged himself and started to sound like an upper fan girl when he said: 'And those cold eyes do give me a thrill!'

Ciel twitched and made an angry sound, making the man stop hugging himself. What was up with this weird creature? I mean, I had seen man with long hair before, but his hair was…. _Really _long. And bright red. And those eyes… too familiar. 'Dear me. Were you planning to avenge your aunt?' he asked, making me finally got who the hell the guy was.

'Grell?!' I shouted, pointing at him in horror. _This _was Grell? Talk about extreme make-over. What was with the sudden personality change? He acted almost comically gay.

Ciel and Grell looked at me, totally shocked. I could see in their eyes that they both couldn't believe that it took me this long to realise.

And then they were over the shock and I got ignored again.

Grell turned back to Ciel and said: 'Well, I don't see Sebastian anywhere around here. So what can a little brat such as yourself do?'

'Shut up!' Ciel said, sounding _really _angry.

Then I got it again. 'You were the one who killed Madame Red!' I shouted, pointing at Grell again.

Grell sighed, clearly annoyed. 'If you hadn't had an immortal soul, I would have killed you right now,' he said, confusing both me and Ciel.

'What?' we said in unison.

Then Ciel saw something in the display window of the shop that distracted him. He froze completely, as if he'd seen a ghost.

I looked to see what he'd seen. Only to see a doll that looked way too much like Elizabeth. _Oh, for the love of God, what did Drossel do?_

'Lizzie!' Ciel then shouted, sounding scared now.

'To-Die list,' Grell then said. He had a brown book in his hands, 'butler and puppeteer to the house of Lane.' Then he looked at me with those familiar eyes. 'Drossel Keinz.'

I wasn't sure why I felt like my heart died. It felt like _I _died. All these years I'd wished he was dead. But now…? I wasn't sure. It seemed like he was the only one I had left. 'How do you know?' I asked him, grapping the red coat he was wearing.

'Well, I'm a Reaper, you see,' he said, smiling a really strange smile. 'I'm a butler to die fo- Hey, where did the kid go?'

'What?' I turned around, only to see that Ciel was gone.

'Dammit!' I said, entering the shop after him. But Ciel wasn't in the shop anymore.

I noticed that Grell had followed me. 'Huh? Where did he go?'

I smiled. Good thing I used to go here often. I walked towards the back door of the shop. 'I think he went towards the old house behind the shop. Let's follow.'

Ciel was indeed in the garden behind the shop, staring at the house. I have to admit that the house was indeed impressive. Like a baby-castle. But it was nothing compared to the gigantic estate of Phantomhive.

'Goodness, what a delightful estate,' Grell said as he looked at the house. He went to stand besides Ciel, who had been staring at the house until now. Now he was looking at Grell, clearly thinking about something.

Then he spoke words that were so ridiculous that I was convinced that I heard it wrong. 'Grell. Protect us,' he said, sounding like it was the logical thing to do.

'What?' me and Grell both asked. Grell asked it with a disrespectful tone, I asked it with a confused tone.

'I'll grant you any request,' Ciel said, sounding like he thought he himself was the voice of reason.

The attitude Grell then put up reminded me of the teenage girls that had rich parents and acted like they were better then you. 'Don't be insulting. I'm not the sort of cheap girl –' last time I checked you weren't even a girl – 'you ca just pay-'

'You can have Sebastian and do whatever you want with him for one day,' Ciel said, interrupted the rather annoying Grell. Geez, and I thought he was annoying when he was clumsy and silent all the time.

To my surprise, and disgust, Grell started to fan girl. 'A day with Sebastian means… I can kiss him?!' he seemed too happy with that, which not only confused me, but also made me angry. Okay, Ciel had a contract and all, but he couldn't just do with Sebastian whatever the heck the wanted and—

Wait. Why couldn't he? He had every right to, I mean, Sebastian did only protect him because he wanted to kill him someday. I would be pissed off to. I probably would do even worse things. Then why did it bother me to know that Sebastian had to be harassed for a day by this bastard.

Oh, geez. I was really falling for the guy, wasn't I?

Ciel even had an arrogant smile on his face, as if he thought he was being super clever. 'Do whatever you like.'

Grell wasn't done with being a fan girl just yet. 'With tongue?!'

I think I'm gonna puke.

The worst part was that Ciel didn't even seem to mind. 'Whatever you order him to do,' he said.

That made Grell happier then I had ever seen anyone. 'Suddenly my Fired-Up Meter is maxed out! I'm deadly serious.'

Ha. Ha. He was a reaper. Deadly serious. Ha. Ha.

'All right! Here we go!' Grell said, running towards the house and me and Ciel running after him. Geez, Grell was really fired up all of the sudden.

Grell swung the door open and the first thing we saw was the entrance hall. It wasn't any different then I remembered except for the fact that there as a different doll in the middle of the hall then there used to be. This one had blond hair and wore a dress that was clearly meant to be worn by actual people, not by a doll.

We ran towards it. And with 'we' I meant 'Ciel'. I just followed him.

'Oh my,' Grell said, 'doesn't that ring look awfully like yours?' He asked, making both me and Ciel look at the ring that the ring was wearing on her thumb.

That looked like a Hope piece indeed.

Just as I was staring at the doll before me, the blue doll eyes turned to look at me, but then her eyes looked at Ciel. I didn't have any time to warn him before the doll's hand reached out and grabbed Ciel's throat.

'Grell,' he said, clearly being suffocated by that doll's hand.

And I just couldn't move. I just stood there frozen, too scared to move. _He found a way, _I thought. _He found a way to turn humans into dolls. And he's coming for me._

Something fell on the dolls head and it let go of Ciel, who fell on the ground.

That made me move. I looked up to see that Grell was in the chandelier. 'Reapers have the tool to harvest souls,' he said, sounding really proud. 'Yes! Death scythes!' And even though that sounded threatening, the things he pulled out were just normal scissors.

Ciel got up, looking surprisingly okay with the whole situation. 'Those are… just scissors,' he said. _My thoughts exactely._

Grell didn't like that comment. 'I can't help it!' He sound angrily and if I didn't know Sebastian I would be surprised that he could be so energetic without falling down. 'Will took my custum death scythe away!'

And the only thing I could think about was: _Who the fuck is Will?_

'I'll chop her into pieces!' Grell then shouted, jumping down the chandelier.

Both me and Ciel protested, reaching out our hands to Grell and the girl doll. 'Wait! Don't kill her!' I screamed. 'She's no doll!' Ciel added.

But it was too late. The girl fell on the ground, looking lifeless once again.

Ciel came closer and looked at the girl. 'Was it a doll after all?' he said. He didn't understand what it meant. He didn't understand that this girl was both. She was a girl and a doll.

Drossel turned her into a doll.

The big door in the entrance hall opened and a spooky, yet oh so beautiful and familiar voice, came closer as soft footsteps rang in our ears. '_Wood and clay will wash away, wash away, wash away. Wood and clay will wash away, my fair lady._'

Then the familiar face with the familiar voice came into the hall.

Well, at least he was wearing a hat. But why was he dressed like he was auditioning for the circus? 'That doll was a failure,' he said. And when I heard him talk like that, I full sentence, I almost cried. Yes, his voice was still the most beautiful voice in the world. Sebastian couldn't win that competition. Not for me at least. 'So I thought to myself,' he went on, '"I must make them much, much, much stronger".' Then he raised his hand, as if he was going to conduct us while we sang. '_Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel, my fair lady._'

Ciel leaned towards me. 'Friend of yours?' he asked, clearly not needing an answer. He knew exactly who he was. _Dammit, Sebastian. You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?_

Then he sang again, and as he sang, large dolls appeared from everywhere. They were almost Ciel's seize. '_Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel, my fair lady._' Then he went forward, grabbed my waist, and pulled me away from the entrance hall, leaving Ciel and Grell to be killed by the dolls made of iron and steel.

'Let me go, Drossel!' I yelled as he lift me up the stairs that would lead to the old music room. It was empty now. Then he tilted me up, to the balcony. He sat down there and put me on his lap, stroking my hair as if I was his favourite pet and looking at me as if I was the most beautiful thing in the world. I did noticed that he wasn't warm at all, he was cold, like he didn't have any body heat left inside of him. Like he was as empty as he dolls he loved so much.

'_Let the demons fade away, fade away, fade away. Let the demons fade away, my fair lady,_' he said and as he said that, I heard footsteps on the stairs, coming closer and closer with every step that was taken. _Please let it be Sebastian, please let it be Sebastian, please let it be Sebastian._

Of course it wasn't. I should've stopped hoping by now. It was Ciel who walked into the music room.

'Ciel Phantomhive,' Drossel said, still stroking my hair.

Ciel noticed us, but he didn't look at me. He looked at Drossel with a look that was simply murderous.

'You are very beautiful,' Drossel said and I swear to God I almost felt jealous, 'I must make you into a worthy doll.'

'Where's Elizabeth?!' he demanded, clearly not giving a damn about me.

He got ignored. Nice, now he knew what that felt like. 'Now, what shall I make you off? Clay is sure to wash away, but iron is too crude, I say.'

Wait, was he speaking in rhyme? Why was he speaking in rhyme? I swear he only did it to creep me out. And what was with the get-up? He _knew _I was scared of clowns!

Then I realised that Drossel had gone cray-cray and that this wasn't _my _Drossel anymore. I kept searching for a friend who was long gone.

That made me want to escape even more, but my struggles seemed to be useless. Drossel could handle me easily. But it wasn't only because he was stronger than me, it was also because he knew my reactions, my weaknesses, my strengths, too well. He could even speak normally to Ciel while holding me down. 'So I thought to myself: "_Build it up with silver and gold, silver and gold, silver and gold. Built it up with silver and gold, my fair lady._"'

The moment he started to sing again was the moment that Ciel decided that this was useless and he ran off, trying to find Elizabeth. Gosh, if only Drossel let me go! I knew my way in this mansion, I could help! I could for once be useful! 'Let me go, Drossel!' I tried to smack him in the face, but he didn't let me.

He looked at me with a strange look. '_Built her up with silver and gold, silver and gold, silver and gold. Built her up with silver and gold,_' he pressed his forehead against mine and I could feel his lifeless breathe on my face, '_my fair lady._'

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Heh, heh. I really love Drossel. I don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with my endless obsession with porcelain dolls… I don't know.**

**ichigoarerugi: thank you! I'm not going to change Sebastian, or at least try not to, since he ****_is _****a demon and I want to stay true to his demon nature. I don't think he would change for anyone. Certainly not for a human. And I want Clarissa to fall in love with him ****_because _****he's a demon. I don't want her to fall for him because he can be a nice guy every now and then, because that's simply not true.**

**BlackMoon901: thanks! Unless it's a negative 'wow'. Then I'm sorry.**

**promocat: ha ha, true! I once had to draw out an explanation for a friend of mine because of the time-travel stuff in Shinobi Life XD**


	25. Chapter 25

**I'm updating twice today! Because I'm bored. And the day is long. Yay.**

**And it's also a really long chapter, the longest one yet!**

**I just checked, but nope, still don't own Kuroshitsuji. What a shame.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 25**

Sebastian sat on the window-still, his legs crossed and an arrogant smile on his face. 'Things are never working out for you on your birthday, do they? You lost your mansion, you lost your parents, and this time, will you lose Elizabeth too?'

Ciel felt relieve coming up, but somehow the words his butler said so him weren't calming at all. 'Sebastian!' Then he got angry. No. He wasn't going to lose Elizabeth. Not with Sebastian here. 'Take that back, Sebastian,' he demanded.

'Take what back?' Sebastian asked immediately.

'That jeer!' Ciel said and his voice had lost every form of respect towards his butler.

Which the butler noticed, of course. 'Young master,' he said calm, 'did you come here to dotingly savor your wretched past and wallow in the pleasure of humiliation?'

Then the song started again. '_Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel, my fair lady._'

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_Clarissa's POV_

He was still holding me like that when he suddenly frowned. 'So I thought to myself: there's a strange presence in this castle,' he said.

'What do you mean?' I asked, not expecting an answer. What was it with men and their natural ability to ignore me whenever they could?

'_Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel, my fair lady,_' he sang, but this time his voice travelled further then when he'd sang to me alone. His voice sounded spookier, it echoed through the whole house and made me shiver. Though I must admit that I did miss his voice, it scared me more than Sebastian's did. And that's one hell of an accomplishment.

Then I swallowed and suddenly felt the need to sing, to purify this terrible situation. Drossel controlled the dolls with his voice. Maybe the trick was in the song. '_Iron and steel will bend and bow, bend and bow, bend and bow. Iron and steel will bend and bow, my fair lady,_' I sang and I heard that my voice was travelling far through the mansion too, but I also felt a power inside me, as if I could shoot lightning. Since when was I able to sing so loud, to be able to make it echo through the whole mansion?

'So I thought to myself,' Drossel said, sounding scarily indifferent, 'you destroyed my dolls.' He then lift me up and held me in his arms like a princess, carrying me with an unhuman speed towards the last staircase of the house.

The first thing I saw was that Sebastian had arrived. But I knew he wasn't here to save me. 'Let us depart, Young Master,' clearly not giving a damn about me or Elizabeth. Then I noticed the broken dolls all over the floor. All the girls… dead. But I wasn't sure if Sebastian was the one to blame or me.

'No,' Drossel said as he walked into the room, still carrying me in his arms. 'Ciel Phantomhive is my master's possession now.'

'Possession?' Ciel repeated angry, still not paying any attention to me. 'I am not a-'

'The proof is the ring on your finger,' Drossel said, interrupting Ciel with a voice that sounded so soft, but was so strong. 'I can tell. That Hope piece is a present my master sends to those who will be made into dolls.'

I frowned. _His master?_

Sebastian narrowed his eyes, clearly thinking the same thing. 'Your master?' he asked.

Drossel ignored him. 'Ciel Phantomhive will become a doll. A doll made of silver and gold. Yes, silver and gold, just like Clary.' His grip around me tightened.

'I do believe you said that people who possess a Hope piece will be turned into dolls,' Sebastian said, 'and I also believe that miss Lane doesn't own any sort of Hope piece.' He sounded curious, not trying to save me.

'I reason that that is indeed true,' Drossel said, 'but she's mine. My master said that I could have her if I wanted to.'

Okay, I was already quite sure that I didn't like his 'master'. And he couldn't have me. I was the only one who could possess me. But I didn't say anything, too curious what Sebastian reaction would be.

Sebastian just smiled a polite smile. 'Then I won't take her away from you,' he said, clearly not interested in my safety. 'But you can't have my master. _Silver and gold will be stolen away, stolen away, stolen away._' Sebastian grabbed Ciel and disappeared out of the opened window before Drossel could even reach the middle of the room.

Drossel just stared at the open window, as if he couldn't believe what just happened. 'He was stolen away…' Then he looked at me. 'But Clary is still here. And I thought to myself: _Ciel Phantomhive will return._'

Yeah, but for Elizabeth, not me. I rolled my eyes. Dang it, Sebastian. You really do want me killed, don't you?

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The moment Sebastian put Ciel down he was smacked in the face. 'What about Lizzie? What about Clarissa? I gave you orders, Sebastian! You couldn't save at least one of them?! What about our contra—'

'An order is not the same as a contract,' Sebastian said calm, not effected by Ciel's slap at all. 'Just as you give priority to order from the Queen, I prioritize your life.'

'And what about Clarissa?' Ciel asked again, after thinking about Sebastian's words for a while, looking into the eyes of a demon.

Sebastian tilted his head to the right, narrowing his eyes. 'What about her, Young Master?'

'You'd let something that you're interested in, no, I dare even to say feel attracted to, slip away from you like that?' Ciel smirked. 'Ha, you're not a worthy demon at all.'

A smile more devilish than the devil himself appeared not Sebastian's face. 'I have devoted myself to your service and protection all this time. I couldn't stand for you to be stolen from me now. You are a remarkable human, one that you do not find often these days. The only thing that Clarissa has that no other human has, is a soul I can't figure out. A soul I can't trust. I'd be better off without it.'

Then Ciel remembered something that did seem important afterwards. 'Well, then you might have a problem,' he said, 'since Grell said that Clarissa has an immortal soul.'

Sebastian just smiled. 'Well, maybe this is the perfect time to test that theory, don't you think?'

Ciel frowned, thought about the Queen's orders. About Elizabeth. Then he shove the ring that he'd taken from the doll in the entrance hall on his finger. 'It would seem that the ring is the mark of his next target,' he then said, feeling confident this time. He _could _outsmart his butler. 'And I have two of them. Protecting me now will no doubt require some effort.'

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'Err, Drossel? I do appreciate the petting, I really do, but you're making me uncomfortable,' I said, trying to push him off me while also trying to see how Lizzie was doing. No change.

Drossel had brought me to the tower, which used to be an old watch-tower for London, but now was just an empty tower. Or so I thought. Apparently Drossel had used to tower to make dolls here. The fact that I was where now didn't calm me down, though Drossel had told me that he would wait for his last doll, and with last doll I meant Lizzie, to harden. So he had tilted me up to the ceiling, were there were wooden beams keeping the roof together, and we sat on one of the beams, I again on his lap.

And he wouldn't speak to me. He would just touch me, not even smiling at me. It looked like his expression was frozen into this strange, indifferent look.

And then I touched him. My finger touched the blue tattoo under his eyes and I almost teared up when I felt that his skin felt almost fake. And it wasn't warm. 'What happened to you?' I asked, but I didn't receive an answer. But I did believe that this Drossel, whatever happened to him, still loved me like he did back then. I just didn't love him… that way. Never did. Maybe that was what broke him. Maybe _I _broke him.

I heard them before I saw them. 'Lizzie!' Ciel screamed, making me look down at him as he ran towards the chair where a unmoving Elizabeth was sitting. He grabbed her shoulders. 'Lizzie?'

'Looks like we were a little too late,' Grell said, not sounding like he minded. I wasn't sure when Grell had re-joined the group, but then again I wasn't sure why they'd returned. Ciel returned for Lizzie. Sebastian had returned for Ciel. Grell had returned for Sebastian.

Ciel started to sound and look scared. 'No…' He shook her so hard that I thought he would break her, screaming: 'Lizzie! Lizzie! Lizzie!'

From this distance I wasn't sure, but it looked like Elizabeth responded and opened her eyes. This was an alert for Drossel, who shot up, still carrying me in his arms. Why the hell couldn't he just let me go for two seconds? It wasn't like I could go anywhere, since I was a human who couldn't survive a fall down. And it wasn't like I was going to test if Grell or Sebastian would catch me. I'd rather stay alive, thank you very much.

'Hmmmmm…?' Lizzie said, sounding so confused and tired that she almost sounded like the indifferent Drossel.

'Lizzie,' Ciel said, sounding relieved now. 'Thank goodness… But why—'

'Yes, why, indeed.' Drossel let me stand on my own on the beam, which was surprisingly scarier than being carried by him. Ieks! I really didn't want to fall down. He still had one arm wrapped around me though and he pulled me towards him with a strength that I didn't remember he had. With his free hand he seemed to pull something that at first glance I couldn't see, but then I saw a thin string on his finger, leading down to Elizabeth. He pulled and Elizabeth rose. It seemed like she was flying. But I saw the strings and knew that that wasn't the case. 'Why does her body move independent of her own will?'

They were looking around now, trying to find the place where Drossel was hiding. Drossel pulled again and this time, a strange sort of sword was flying through the room and ended in Elizabeth hands. 'And why does she hurt the one she loves?' he then said, making me look at him shocked.

_Oh no._

Elizabeth seemed to realise as well, but Ciel didn't seem to care. The only thing he seemed to care about was Lizzie, who was swinging the sword at him while screaming and crying. 'No!' she screamed, but Sebastian pulled Ciel away before she could cause any damage.

I started to fight Drossel now, trying to get to the strings that made Elizabeth hurt Ciel. She kept screaming 'no' while Sebastian kept jumping across the room, saving Ciel again and again and again.

During this rescue mission, Sebastian somehow managed to talk to Grell with a calm and reasonable voice. Of course he could. 'Grell. You can see this too, can't you?' he asked and I realised he must be referring to the strings.

Grell did not look interested. He wasn't even helping. He just stood there. _Maybe if I could scream and give away my—_

As if Drossel had read my mind, the hand on my waist changed position and covered my mouth now.

'I suppose,' Grell said, looking at his nails. 'But I might chip my blades, so-'

Sebastian grabbed the sword when Elizabeth brought it to Ciel again. 'Please,' he asked Grell, his voice softer and kinder then he'd ever sounded to me.

Of course, that turned Grell on. 'Oh, Sebas-chan! You're asking me for something? In that case, during the kiss… can there be… can there be tongue?!'

Geez, this man with his strange tongue-fetish. _I _would've been more useful.

Of course, Sebastian hadn't heard about the deal that Ciel made with Grell yet. 'I haven't the faintest idea what you mean,' he said, holding the blade off with ease, but it was clear that it was harder to do than it seemed. 'But, in fact, I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.'

Lol, had he read one of my magazines or something? I had one where they said that if you could tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue, you were an amazing kisser. Well, of course I could've known, because it's Sebastian we're talking about, but it still surprised me.

Grell seemed to understand that too. 'Oh yes!' He ran towards Elizabeth, who was still unwillingly trying to kill her loved one. 'It's unforgivable for a little girl like you to have a better blade than me.' And with those words, he attacked, cutting the strings off.

'Stop, Grell!' Ciel screamed, obviously thinking that Grell would kill Elizabeth. Which he didn't.

Elizabeth dropped on the ground. Literally like a puppet whose strings got cut. She lay there on the ground, not moving.

Ciel kneeled down before her, Sebastian following his example. 'Elizabeth…'

Drossel's hand slipped away from my mouth, back to my waist as Sebastian said 'it's a puppet's string'.

I wanted to scream, but then Grell opened his mouth and I kind of wanted to know what he would say. 'This sharp cut only comes with a death scythe. Well, Sebas-chan?' Was he fishing for compliments? 'I'm amazing, aren't I? Compliment me, compliment me!' Jup, definitely fishing for compliments.

'Good for you,' Sebastian said, sounding incredibly indifferent. 'Not just anyone would run with scissors.' I would have laughed if I wasn't standing on a high beam with my murderous, psychopathic childhood friend.

'Oh, I'm flattered to death!' Seriously, he actually believed that?

Then Sebastian looked up, at me. A small smile appeared on his face, but it was gone before it could bother me. 'And the puppet string leads to…'

Drossel really seemed indifferent, but his words just didn't match up his tone. 'So I thought to myself,' he said, pulling his free hand again. Strings appeared, trapping Ciel, Sebastian and Grell in silver-looking strings. 'What shall I use to make my new dolls?' He said, making me want to roll my eyes. _Fetish, dude. Fetish._

'Then I'll ask you this… what are you made of?' Sebastian asked Drossel, while looking at me.

_Oh. _I got it now. I looked at Drossel, his skin, his eyes. His cold, cold body. _He's also a doll._

But the strangest thing is that Drossel didn't seem to get that. 'Hmm? What am I… made of?' he said, looking only a bit troubled.

Sebastian was smiling now, that kind of smile that I didn't trust at all. It was the 'I'm going to kill you'-smile. 'Yes. You see, you don't seem to be made of very high-quality materials.'

Drossel's expression didn't change. 'So I thought to myself; "_I know I must be human and yet lately I often find termites crawling out of my ears_".'

Yikes. Too much details.

Sebastian then managed to kick the sword on the floor our way with his foot, making me and Drossel almost fall over. But Drossel managed to keep us standing with the help of his strings.

'Grell,' Sebastian said in a demanding voice.

I couldn't see what was going on until Sebastian appeared right in front of us, looking at Drossel while completely ignoring me. He jumped on another beam, holding the sword. 'I sense none of the way or the style of a butler in you,' Sebastian said, sounding angry because of that.

'Seriously?' I asked, pulling up an eyebrow. 'We're standing on this good-for-nothing beams with my psychopathic childhood friend and you want to talk about style?'

To my surprise, I wasn't ignored. 'You… know… him?' Drossel asked, tilting his head to the side like a puppet would do.

I wasn't sure why I felt guilty all of the sudden. 'Yes, I do,' I told him.

Sebastian clearly didn't want to have a conversation. He pulled the sword and I just saw, I just knew, that he was going to kill Drossel.

And me, because I was in the way.

And I understood. I got it. Maybe I was supposed to die. Maybe this was even my fault. I couldn't think. But in those seconds before death, everything slowed down. And I just looked at Sebastian and understood. I understood so perfectly well. He was a demon. And he did not care one bit if I died.

I knew that I had tears in my eyes, but I somehow managed to give him a small smile while he jumped towards us with the sword. Then I closed my eyes, ready to be killed by the hands of a demon.

And in that split second, I loved that demon.

But then I fell down on two layers of bodies and I hated him again.

I had landed on Drossel, whose had was broken and a strange looking material was gushing out. Gosh, how gross.

And under Drossel was Grell, who I somehow felt sorry for now. How'd that happen?

Then Sebastian jumped down and helped me up, looking at Ciel with a small smile. 'I would never lose to a man without style,' he told him and I could feel the grip on my waist tighten.

I just looked at him. _Why had he spared me? _I felt special for a few seconds before I realised that it most probably had something to do with an order Ciel gave him. Great. I knew Sebastian for quite some time now and I was still deceived. I never learned.

The attention then went from Sebastian to Drossel, who was laying on the ground. 'So he was a doll, too?'

I shook my head. 'No, he was a puppet.' I frowned. 'A puppet with a master.'

'I do believe that's true,' Sebastian said, 'the only thing this puppet seemed to know is that he had to obey his master and that he loved Clarissa.'

I managed to blush because of what he'd said. Great. My emotions weren't paying attention to the situation at all.

'Drossel Keinz,' Grell said, who had gotten up from under Drossel. 'His soul was collected five years ago, but for some reason, we detected signs of survival.'

I closed my eyes for a second. _So my Drossel was indeed long gone. _I looked back at the puppet. I wouldn't be sad. This wasn't something new. Drossel has already been dead for ages.

Sebastian closed his eyes for a second. 'Someone must have fitted him with a makeshift soul,' he said, making me curious. What did that mean? Gosh, I really did want to know more about him and his world. Though I actually did not want to know about Grell. I liked the clumsy Grell more than the I-love-Sebastian-more-than-you-do-Grell. He kind of creeped me out. That and the fact that we was more feminine than I was.

Lizzie opened her eyes again. Ciel was holding here in his arms, I hadn't noticed that until now. How romantic. 'Ciel…'

'Elizabeth!' he said, but it was clear that she was still in the process of becoming one off Drossel's dolls. Killing him didn't change that fact.

Ciel looked up at Sebastian. 'Isn't there anything we can do to reverse this?' he asked.

Sebastian shrugged, clearly not willing to think about that.

_You know what to do, my dear sweet Clarissa. You can do it. Now, show me what you can do. _I kneeled down besides Ciel. I felt a power, humming inside me ready to be used. 'Can I…?' I asked, reaching for Elizabeth.

Ciel nodded, letting me touch Elizabeth's face. I placed one hand on her cheek and the other one found the place where her heart was beating in her chest. _Wonderful. Sweet. And Delicious._

What? Delicious? What the hell did I just…

Then I felt it. The poison, slowly tearing her heart apart until it would stop beating. I breathed in and let my instincts take over. 'Purify the unclean,' I said, so soft that I wasn't sure if I'd even said it. I felt the poison fleeing from me, from my hand, almost as if it knew that I was there. But I didn't let it. I took it. And then I melted it away, breathing it out with every single breath.

The moment I almost collapsed was the moment that Sebastian reached forward to catch me. 'Purple,' he said, looking deep into my eyes.

I didn't want to think about his words now, so I sat up to see if it worked. She seemed less doll-like now, but was still shining a bit.

'Ciel,' Elizabeth said, sounding so, so tired. 'I want to… give you a birthday party…'

For a moment Ciel looked shocked, almost scared, but then his expression soften and he just looked tired and sad. 'Yes… Please do,' he said, surprising everyone in the room.

Elizabeth smiled, seeming happy with just that, and closed her eyes. And as she fell asleep, the shining disappeared and she looked totally human again.

I did it.

But… _how?!_

I looked at Sebastian, hoping he would have an explanation, but he was staring at Drossel, making me frown and look too.

'You can rest easy,' I heard Ciel tell Elizabeth. 'It's all—'

'It's not all over, it appears,' Sebastian interrupted him as Drossel, or fake-Drossel, got up again, his voice sounding like a broken radio now.

'So I thought to myself: "I will report to my master".' His steps were almost a torture to watch, but no one stopped him. They just looked. And I felt like I had no strength in my body left, so I just looked as well. But seeing fake-Drossel in this state kind of made me want to cry.

'What's wrong with him?' Grell asked, clearly not understanding something. 'He's all torn up and he still wants to serve his master?'

Sebastian almost looked sad for a moment there. 'I can understand. You see, he's merely one hell of a butler.'

Drossel walked up to the only door that hadn't been opened yet and pushed it open while also collapsing. The last words on his lips being 'mas…ter…'.

And as I looked away, I felt that my tears did escape my eye.

But Ciel, Sebastian and Grell didn't hesitate. They ran inside the room Drossel had opened, wanting to see what was inside. His master? I didn't think so.

'I'm very sorry,' I could hear a voice say, a voice that sounded strangely familiar, making me curious enough to stand up too. But the three men blocked the doorway and I couldn't see a thing. 'My butler is so incompetent, I'm unable to offer you hospitality.'

'So you're behind this. Why would you make girls into dolls?' Ciel said, sounding all high and mighty again.

'Flowers, eras, and also people are only beautiful for finite moments,' he said, making me think about the words Drossel used to say to me. 'That's why demons are attracted to such creatures. Creatures that fade away like no demon ever will.' He was silent for a moment and even though I didn't look, I knew that Grell of Sebastian or both were looking at me. 'Doll-making is noble work,' the man went on, but I still couldn't see him. 'Preserving in this world the most beautiful and perfect people.'

Grell thought it was a good idea to open his mouth again. 'You've got awful taste! What's so perfect about immature little—'

Lucky enough for everyone present, Ciel interrupted him. 'Why are you after me?' Ciel asked the man.

I pushed Sebastian aside a little and stepped forward, now able to see the room with the large windows and the chair. We couldn't see who was sitting on it, since the chair faced the windows.

'I won't be made into a doll and lovingly displayed somewhere!' Ciel shouted, throwing the Hope piece from the doll in the entrance room to the chair.

'Know your place, boy,' the man said and I swear to god, I'd heard his voice before. But voices sounded alike, maybe it was just a coincidence? 'My butler's head is made of straw. I imagine he couldn't understand why I wanted you. I'm happy he died, though. Making a doll out of dear little Clarissa would have been a shame. The loss of a truly pure girl in this unclean world.'

I could almost _feel _Sebastian's eyes narrow and I shivered, didn't like the idea that suddenly everyone seemed to think I was pure. I'm not doing anything special, you guys! Not until I magically healed Elizabeth, that is.

'Ciel Phantomhive, you were fated to die from your very birth,' the man in the chair said. 'You're body is already unclean.'

Well, yeah. He _is _living with a demon who he made a contract with. I wouldn't be so pure either, if I was wicked enough to even summon a demon.

'Why do you know that?' Ciel said, but the way he said it made me feel like he was talking about something else than I was thinking about.

'I cannot allow someone like you to exist in this world,' he said and somehow, his voice started to sound strange, almost as if the pitched of the radio became worse and worse. 'Unclean, unnecessary, unfruitful… And therefor I tried to snuff you out.' The chair started to shake and his voice started to deform more and more. 'Snuff out the unclean, the unnecessary, the unfruitful… Snuff him out! Snuff him out! Snuff him out! Snuff him out!'

Then Ciel couldn't have it anymore. 'Don't play games with me!' he screamed, running towards the chair, while the man kept screaming 'snuff him out! Snuff him out!'.

Whatever was in the chair, it shocked Ciel. Sebastian and Grell immediately came in action and for some reason, Sebastian dragged me along.

In the chair was a dummy of a man. And on the man's lap was… a small doll. And as we looked at it, the doll got up. He screamed and then jumped off the chair, running away laughing. He even jumped over fake-Drossel's dead body.

'Catch it, Sebastian!' Ciel screamed, but Sebastian didn't move.

'The person who's manipulating it isn't here, my Lord,' he said, sounding strangely fascinated. 'I now notice that there were invisible strings all over the room. Not a very nice thing, I must say.'

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><p>XxX<p>

It was already morning when we walking out of the tower. Sebastian was carrying Elizabeth in his arms, like a princess. I do believe Elizabeth would've appreciate it much more if Ciel was the one to carry her, but since I didn't think Ciel could manage Elizabeth's weight, I didn't say anything.

'Sebas-chan!' Grell said as soon as we were outside, trying to jump Sebastian. 'Now for our passionate kiss!' He screamed, making me pull a face. Ugh, please, not now. No one wants to see that.

Sebastian ducked when Grell jumped, making Grell fall on the ground. 'What shall we do, young master?' Sebastian asked Ciel. 'Would you like me to avenge Madam Red now?'

Grell got up, clearly not liking that idea. 'Fine, I'll keave your lips for next time! Bye-bye!' he said, running off with a speed no human could have.

Sebastian looked ready to go after him, with Elizabeth still in his arms for God's sake, but Ciel stopped him. Well, if he hadn't, I would've. 'No. Not today,' Ciel said. He stepped forward and touched Elizabeth's cheek and that simple touch made me realise that he might love the girl than I thought he did. But I also understood why he didn't let her know. It would only be harder for her… when he… left. 'I don't want the scent of blood to reach Elizabeth any more than it already has,' he said, so gently.

Then Sebastian looked at me, with a human-loathing expression on his face. I almost smiled. That guy really didn't get humans at all.

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of this chapter! Woohoo! And three hours till 2015! (at least for me)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Weeeh, so I'm really tired and still not feeling well, but I can't go to sleep because people are still busy with their fireworks, so that sucks.**

**So I thought, I'm going to write!**

**Okay, so I didn't finish before I went to sleep, but I'm finishing this chapter now!**

**And I'm actually very happy that Drossel is gone now, because ****_London Bridge is Falling Down _****was starting to drive me crazy. No offense, Drossel! Still love you! **

**Oh, and I just noticed that I used a Dutch word in the previous chapter. The Dutch word for 'jump' is 'springen' and I took that word and made it something like 'springing', so that made me laugh when I saw that. I fixed it now, though.**

**So, filler chapter here (sort of. Actually no, it's pretty important). Enjoy!**

**Don't own Kuroshitsuji BTW. Do own Clarissa though. So that's something.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 26**

The next day we had a birthday party. It was innocent and it was fun, but it bothered me more than I thought it would. I never had a birthday party. It was actually the day where my father hated me the most, so I'd come to dislike my birthday very much.

I couldn't sleep that night. Not because I wasn't tired, but because I couldn't sleep. I just… didn't fall asleep. I wasn't sure what it was. Maybe Sebastian poisoned me.

So I decided that it was a good idea to walk through the house in the middle of the night… which is wasn't. The whole house was dark, no lights to be found and when I got scared I realised that I had no idea how to get back to my room.

So I started to sing, something I used to do a lot when I was scared or sad. Now that I think about it… I used to sing a lot in general. But during the accident Drossel kind of ruined singing for me and since then I just… barely sang. But now I opened my mouth again.

The song that was stuck in my head was ironically a song about the devil. How fitting. '_Trembling, crawling across my skin,_' I sang as I walked through a corridor that looked like the corridor that let to Ciel's bedroom. Wasn't sure though. '_Feeling your cold dead eyes, stealing the life of mine._' A vague smile crossed my face when I thought about the fact that that was kind of the case with Sebastian and Ciel of the moment. Though Sebastian wasn't stealing Ciel's life. Yet. '_I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies.' _Pfft. Wish I could. Sebastian was still a mystery to me most of the time. '_I won't last long, in this world so wrong._' That sounded like something Ciel would say. Though I doubt that Ciel would ever speak in rhyme. '_Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight.'_ I started to feel like someone was following me and suddenly, I didn't want to sing anymore. I just stood still in the corridor, trying to hear who was following me.

_Probably the stalker-cat, _I told myself.

I didn't believe that, though. I believed that I would see the cat's eyes glow in the dark. Feeling the strange desire that I had to finish the song I started to sing again. '_Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight._'

'Please, I do think that whichever devil you are talking about wouldn't want to dance with someone like you. No offense, but your dancing skills are about the same as the dancing skills of a crocodile.'

Of course it was Sebastian who stood before me. Why was I even surprised. 'I'd rather be a terrible dancer than I terrible human being,' I told him, walked around him as if I wasn't influenced by his presence at all.

He stood for me again, moving faster than I ever could. 'I would think you're accusing me of something, but since I'm not human at all, that clearly wasn't the case.'

'Well, you _didn't _kill me yesterday, so I suppose that I should be happy,' I said, hating myself because I couldn't just ignore him. 'Why didn't you, anyway?' I knew the answer before he said it, but I hoped that it would be a different answer.

And it was. 'I just reasoned that if you were gone, things would get less interesting around here,' he said, smiling that devilish smile of his. 'And though it's tempting to finally be rid of you, your stupid questions and your weird… how do you call those…. harassments?' I opened my mouth to protest, but he put a finger to my mouth. 'Hush, hush, I'm not done yet. Though I do see the benefits of _not _having your around, I think my daily life would be less interesting with you gone. So I decided to keep you around.' His eyes narrowed. 'For I bit.'

I shivered, but didn't react.

'And could you maybe tell me what a young lady is doing in the corridors in the middle of the night?' he then asked.

'I couldn't sleep,' I started, 'and then I got lost. End of story.'

'You… couldn't sleep?' he asked, sounding way too curious.

I decided not to answer that question. 'Demons don't sleep, do they?'

He decided not to answer that question as well. 'Humans do sleep, don't they?' But I guessed that that meant that the answer to my question was 'yes'.

'So what do demons do at night?' I asked. 'Sitting in a corner, waiting for the sun to come back?' That didn't sound right. 'Or do you go and hunt at night, like vampires do?' I really should stop comparing Sebastian to a vampire.

'I don't sit in a corner and I do not mind whether the sun is up or down. Why should I? I can see perfectly fine in the dark, just as well as in in the light.' Good to know that darkness would never be an advantage for me. 'And I do not 'hunt', I do think I'm a being that's way too intelligent to do such a barbaric thing as 'hunt',' he said, 'though maybe that's the only human word for choosing your new prey.'

'And,' I said, not really interested because I actually _did _feel really tired. 'Found anything new yet?'

He looked at me with eyes glowing in the dark. It would have been fascinating if I weren't as tired as I was. 'I believe I did.'

I yawned. 'Well, that's great. I do hope that you and your next master have a lot of fun then,' I said, way to sceptical. He and his next master could just rot in hell for all I cared. Unless this meant that he would leave Ciel alone. I yawned again.

Sebastian frowned. 'You look awfully tired for someone who cannot fall asleep,' he said and he even managed to sound, only a bit, worried.

I laughed. '_I can see right through all your empty lies,_' I sang softly, poking Sebastian's cheek and then laughing harder.

He just kept frowning. 'I do believe that there's something not right,' he said and now he just sounded as if he was suspecting me of something. 'Have you had any alcohol?'

I laughed. 'Of course not. It's not like anyone in this mansion offers me any. Or that I would take it. I don't think I trust myself enough to drink or eat anything that could make me lose control over myself.'

It was clear that Sebastian hadn't heard half of what I'd said. 'And what have you eaten today?' He sounded like an investigator.

I frowned. 'I ate… cake. I ate the birthday cake. And maybe some potatoes?' Why couldn't I remember what I'd eaten today?

Then a hand was laying on my forehead. A hand without a glove. Then Sebastian pulled away again and he had his glove back on before I could blink. 'I believe you do have a slight fever, miss Lane,' he said, reaching out his hands to carry me.

That wasn't going to happen, though. I took a step back. 'Ho, ho. What are you doing, mister? You can't touch a girl just because you're gorgeous!' I giggled. 'Where are your manners?'

Sebastian sighed, sounding annoyed. 'Yes, yes,' he said, reaching his hands out anyway. I tried to run away, but that didn't really help. He started to carry me to the opposite direction, clearly bringing me back to my room.

I hit him with my fists again his chest, but his chest felt like it was made of stone and it was obvious that it didn't bother him at all. 'You're not going to rape me, are you?' I asked and I felt like I was drunk, even though I'd just said that I hadn't had any alcohol. Normal me never would've said that.

Sebastian looked at me with a dry look. 'Do I really look that desperate?' he asked. He sighed again. 'I do, don't I?'

'Huh?' I asked as he opened the door to my room without using his hands.

'Always speak with two words, my lady,' he said as he put me down on the bed.

I sat straight up, but stayed in my bed. 'You're not my mother, Sebastian. You can't tell me what to do.'

'I do believe your mother couldn't either.'

I looked at him with a look that would have been angry if I didn't feel like I was throwing up inside. I leaned forward, to where Sebastian was, and grabbed his hands. I was surprised that he let me. 'Do you know about that story with that girl with the red thingy on her head? And her mother said to not stray from the path, but she did, and then a wolf ate her and her grandmother?' I laughed. 'It kind of made me think of you.'

'I do believe Little Red Riding-Hood isn't a fairy tale about demon contracts,' Sebastian said, still not pulling his hands free. 'And I also believe that you need to rest. You don't seem to be in good shape at the moment.'

I frowned, not really listening to what he said. 'No, no. Not the fairy tale. I meant that you're like that. You hide in the shadows of the forest, waiting for someone to stray from the path, waiting for someone to lead you to the place where dinner is served.' I yawned. 'Or something. I don't really know.' I laughed, but frowned again after that. 'Wait… what were we talking about?'

Sebastian looked at me with a strange look, almost as if he was surprised or something.

'What?' I mumbled. 'Why are you looking at me like that?' I asked when he didn't answer, supposedly because I hadn't spoken with two words.

He finally pulled away his hands, put only to put me properly in the bed and under the covers, smiling as I yawned once again. 'You're a strange little girl, aren't you?'

I wasn't sure why he'd said that, but I answered: 'You're a strange little demon, aren't you?' I felt that my eyes wanted to close so badly, but my heart wanted to keep seeing Sebastian, so I kept my eyes open.

I saw how Sebastian leaned forward to press a kiss against my forehead. 'How would you know? You have no other demon to go on,' he said against my forehead, lips soft and warm and kissable.

'Hmm, I know that you're you,' I mumbled, not making sense anymore. 'That's all I ever need to know about you.' I yawned again. 'Though I am curious—'

After all this could all have been a dream. I was sure it was when Sebastian used his lips to interrupt my words, pressing his lips against mine. His lips weren't there for long and I was too tired and too surprised to respond, but if this was real, then it was the realest kiss we'd ever shared.

When he pulled away, I felt tears burning in my eyes and I had to look away from the demon's face. 'I wish you would stop doing that,' I said, now sure I was dreaming, because my voice sounded far away.

'Hmm?' Sebastian said.

I was tempted to tell him that 'hmm' wasn't two words, but there seemed to be more important things to say at the moment. 'I wish you would stop messing with my feelings. You only make me…' I yawned again and drifted away to a place that demons could never reach. '…love you more,' was the last thing I said before fading away.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The next morning I couldn't remember much. Only that I had walked into Sebastian when I was walking through the corridor. A thing that I did realise that morning was that I was sick. Like… _really sick._

Lucky enough for me Mei-Rin came to check on me, because otherwise Ciel would probably never find out. I doubt he would care. But I was used to being sick and alone at the same time, so when Mei-Rin asked if she could do anything for me, I kindly refused.

I had a headache and my stomach was telling me to puke out everything I'd eaten. And my back hurt. It hurt so much that it felt like someone had stabbed me over and over again. The only thing that didn't hurt was my throat. I felt like that was the only thing still working.

But I wasn't going to lay in bed all day. I got up, showered and got dressed, whether I was sick or not. I wasn't going to eat anything, though. My stomach wasn't feeling up to that right now. I walked to Ciel's office, convinced that he was there. Which he, of course, was. And I wasn't surprised to find Sebastian there as well. Ciel was once again busy on his computer and Sebastian was once again looking through papers.

Both men looked up at me frowning when I entered the room.

'Are you not feeling well?' Ciel asked as he returned to working on his computer.

'Hmm,' was the only answer he got from as I let myself fall on the couch, moaning as my stomach protested. 'Argh, kill me now!' I whined.

'I do not think saying such a thing in the presence of a demon is smart, Clarissa,' Ciel said, surprisingly talkative today.

'And I do believe that I don't give a damn,' was my response. I got my phone out of my pocket and looked if I had any new message. I didn't. Or course I didn't.

I went to lay on the couch in a position that allowed me to look at Ciel and Sebastian. 'So, what are you guys up to today?'

'I'm looking through the new designs for the candy wrappings and Sebastian is reading through a few contracts,' Ciel said. Okay, now I was sure that he was _way _too talkative.

'You're surprisingly kind to me today,' I said, pulling up an eyebrow. 'Are we officially buddies now?'

Ciel pulled a disgusted face. 'I'm not buddies with anyone,' he said, as if the word alone disgusted him.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring my head as it ached because it didn't like that. 'Geez, wonder why that is,' I said cynical, making Ciel frown.

'I don't face friends because I don't want them. Not because I'm unable to make friends,' Ciel said.

I made a waving movement with my hand. 'Whatever you want, Earl Phantomhive.' I yawned. 'By the way, if any of you—'

Suddenly Sebastian stood before me, grabbing my wrists, which was still In mid-air because the gesture I made. He looked at me frowning. 'May I ask why your eyes have been purple for nearly three days now?' he asked, now seriously sounding bothered.

I pulled my hand free. 'Don't know. Eye colour can change, right?' I sighed. 'Maybe it has something to do with my illness. I mean, I _am _sick once again.'

'The colour of your eyes isn't supposed to change when you're seventeen,' Sebastian said, 'and it's not a really natural colour, either.'

'Sebastian?' Ciel asked, sounding bothered now, too. 'What do you think it means?'

The demon butler shook his head. 'My initial theory was thrown out of the window two days ago. And seeing her sick only makes my theory less likely.'

Ciel frowned. 'And what _was _your theory?'

It took a while before Sebastian answered. 'I thought she was a fallen angel, who pretended to be a teenage girl so she could free you from the claws of a demon,' his grip on my wrist tightened. 'So I messed with her a bit, trying to drawn her out. But a fallen angel cannot purify on the level that she did two days ago and no angel, fallen or not fallen, could offer their soul to me. Their souls are part of their bodies, something a demon could never touch.' He frowned. 'That and angels can't get sick.'

I wasn't listening anymore. I had frozen completely. _So I messed with her a bit. _I had known it. I had prepared myself for it. I knew that Sebastian couldn't care less about me. But I still had believed that he did, somewhere deep in my heart I had believed that he wasn't that bad at all. My mistake. I knew all too well that Sebastian's demon nature didn't care for anything but himself.

But I still loved him.

And it hurt like hell.

Ciel sighed the moment I started to cry. I was happy that my tears were silent, happy that Sebastian wasn't looking at me. 'I guess we cannot look into it because of the Queen's orders. Dammit!... Wait, are you crying?' He looked at me as if I had changed into a goat or something. As if he couldn't believe what he saw.

I wiped my tears away. 'Sorry… I'm sorry. I'm just very sick and I just… I'm sorry.' I wasn't sure why I kept apologizing.

Ciel seemed to think the same thing. 'Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault you got sick, right?' He sighed. 'And I suppose I still own you a 'thank you'.'

That confused and distracted me enough. It helped that Sebastian had returned to the desk as well, but it was mostly the thing that Ciel said that made me forget about my tears. 'Why would you own me that?'

He cleared his throat. 'I do believe you've saved me from the dolls. And you've saved Elizabeth.' A small, earnest smile appeared on his face. 'I'm thankful for that.'

I swear my mouth fell open, that was how surprised I was. He was… almost cute. No, he was too old to be 'cute'. I suppose handsome was the right word. I swallowed. 'It was nothing,' I said, not sure about what to say. 'And I didn't really save you from the dolls or anything.'

'You did, though,' Sebastian said. 'You sang the song to stop them from attacking. I didn't do anything. That was you.'

_It was? _'Aha, I suppose it was,' I said, trying to hide how utterly surprised I was.

A small smile appeared on Sebastian's face. 'Young master, I'll have to go and prepare lunch now,' he told Ciel, who nodded. Then he turned to me. 'Is there something I could bring you, my Lady?' he asked and the tone in his voice sounded really suspicious.

I shook my head. At the moment I didn't want anything from him. I couldn't even pen my mouth to say anything. I was pretty sure the tone in my voice would've given me away.

When Sebastian had left the room, I sighed. 'I can't believe you can handle that guy 24/7,' I told Ciel, but then I frowned. 'No, I suppose I do. He's the only thing you have, after all.'

That upset Ciel enough to look up from his computer screen. 'Excuse me?'

I smiled. 'Well, I do get it, you know. Your parents were murdered. Your aunt betrayed you. Elizabeth doesn't understand you, is clearly trying to get the old Ciel back. A Ciel who, apparently, wasn't emo. You cannot trust your house staff, I mean, who would blame you after what you had to go through. Sebastian is the only one you can trust, because you know well that he only sticks around for your soul. He won't betray you and will stay by your side 'till the end.' I got tears in my eyes, but I tried to hide them. 'I get it, I do. Because I literally have no one left. And you know what? It freaking sucks.' I wasn't going to count Ash as someone I had left. I didn't know the guy and I didn't trust him at all.

When Ciel didn't say anything, I opened my mouth again. 'But you forget that the darkness is not a blanket. You can't hold all your hatred, your pain, so close to your heart. Because it will draw you in one day and Sebastian wouldn't be able to stop it. Because he isn't giving you any form of kindness of love. He's giving you his service because of his own selfish demands. It cannot comfort, Ciel, the darkness. Darkness doesn't keep you save. It slowly breaks you down until you've completely forgotten who you are.'

It was silent in the room for quite some time. I started to think that Ciel was going to ignore me, but then he spoke: 'Is that why you always act like nothing's wrong? Like there's always hope and light?'

I laughed. 'I hadn't noticed that I act like that. I just push all the darkness in my heart and mind away with all the strength I have. Because that bit of light inside me is my strength. Your darkness, your hate, your desire to bring down the ones who humiliate you, is your strength and that's fine. As long as it doesn't control you.'

It took Ciel another while to react to that. His reaction was beyond anything I'd ever expected. 'Sometimes I believe it already does.'

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><p>XxX<p>

**Chapter twenty-six has ended! Now that I think about it, I've never told you guys, but I actually like Ciel better than I like Sebastian, surprisingly enough. But I think that's because I just want to hug the kid and make everything better. And the fact that Sebastian really does creep me out sometimes.**

**Anyway, happy new year, everyone! :3**

**D8nise: Ha ha, happy new year! :)**

**Shadow demon Kitsune: Thank you! And happy new year to you as well! **

**promocat****: hmm… good question. I certainly think that Sebastian's way of loving someone is different from how 'humans' love someone. And I also think that it will take a bit more time for Sebas-chan to even consider the fact that he might be in love with her. Or even just consider that he - maybe - likes her.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Heh heh, I actually wrote this chapter right after the previous one, but wanted to wait before I uploaded it, but it seems like I can't. :)**

**So enjoy chapter twenty seven!**

**Clarissa: You forgot something.**

**Me: Huh? What did I forget?**

**Clarissa: You don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

**Me: Oh! That's right. I don't! But I do own my OC.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 27**

'Sometimes I believe it already does,' Ciel said.

Then he laughed a laugh that didn't sound happy at all, making me shoot up from the couch, flinching as my body protested. 'What?' I asked, clearly missing something.

'You're saying such clever words,' Ciel said, shaking his head, 'but you don't get it at all.'

I was actually quite sure that I did. Now it appears I did not. 'But—'

Ciel held up a hand to keep me from speaking. 'Even if the darkness does control me, then it does because I allow it to do so. I'm not a victim from my own hatred. I know the path I've chosen. And even though I was still a child when I decided to give up my soul, I still stand behind all my choices.' He laughed again. 'As if I'd let anyone or anything control me without the intention to do so!' Then his smile faded and he looked at me dead serious. 'The light didn't save me. God sure didn't. My hatred saved me. _I _saved me.'

I wanted to cry. 'You didn't save yourself. You just postponed your execution. '

Ciel shook his head again, this time a lot slower. 'You still don't get it, do you?'

'What do I not get?!' I asked, suddenly angry. It wasn't like I was trying to be dumb.

'Being humiliated and brutally murdered is completely different than being killed on my own terms.' He strangled his hands and smiled a small, arrogant smile. 'Wouldn't you agree?'

I opened my mouth. Closed it again. I wasn't sure what to say. Because I knew he was right. I thought Ciel was a victim, someone that needed saving. But Ciel didn't regret anything. He had accepted the consequences long ago. He wasn't a victim, he was a tragedy. 'What the hell did they do to you?' I asked, my voice only a whisper.

Ciel gave me a confused look.

'I don't think your parents' death could drive you to such hatred and despair,' I explained. 'There's more, isn't there? They did something unforgivable to you.' I knew my face looked sad when I asked: 'What did they do to you?'

Ciel looked away, all expressions on his face gone as he was clearly trying to push something away. 'I cannot tell you.'

Well, maybe he should. Talking usually helped. 'But that is—'

He looked at me again, a mask with trauma behind it. 'I cannot tell you, Clarissa!'

I fell back on the couch, felt the tears before I noticed I was crying.

Ciel sighed annoyed. 'And why are you crying now?'

'Whoever did it to you and whatever they did, their deaths aren't worth your soul.' I shook my head slowly.

'Clarissa,' Ciel said, sounding stern for some reason. 'I just told you that I didn't regret anything, didn't I?'

I nodded, still crying.

'Then stop trying to make me regret it. It won't work.'

I sighed, giving up. The tears stopped the moment I found peace with the fact that Ciel didn't want to be saved. 'If there was a way to save yourself,' I asked after a while, not sure how Ciel would like my choice of words, 'would you?'

Ciel, who was already back to work, shrugged. 'That's a bit mean towards Sebastian. He spend all those years serving a kid. I don't think he would let me slip away from his fingers.'

I was quite sure that Sebastian wouldn't. 'Yes, but if you _could,_ would you?'

'I don't know. I don't think about the impossible. My soul is beyond saving. Even though my soul s still in my possession right now, I already lost it. And something lost will never return,' was his answer.

'Well, I don't know,' I said, trying to make this conversation less heavy. 'You could always gauge your eye out.'

'I don't think Sebastian would let me and I doubt it would work,' he said, but I heard in the sound of his voice that he had considered it before.

I wasn't sure how I stood next to him as quick as I did, but I stood there, right in front of him, Ciel looking up at me with frowned eyebrows. 'Can I see?' I asked.

Ciel sighed, looked away for a while. But he took of his eye-patch. Then he turned back to me.

I cupped his face in my hands and lift his face so I could have a better look. His eyes were actually quite big, I realised as I looked into those eye. His right eye wasn't the beautiful blue that his other eye was. It looked… purple. And the mark in his eye, the seal of his contract with a demon. It seemed to glow in his eye and I wondered if it hurt.

My thumb stroked the skin under his right eye and I felt myself being drowned in by the absolute beauty of his right eye. 'It's beautiful,' I said, but it also made me want to cry.

I was surprised that Ciel didn't pull himself free, but he still didn't. 'There's nothing beautiful about it,' he told me, but the tone in his voice gave away that he was embarrassed.

I looked closer, trying to grasp where the light came from. 'Does it hurt?' I asked, frowning by the thought that Ciel had a constant pain in his eye. That would be horrible.

He closed his eyes for a second, seeming more human with both eyes in sight. 'Not as much as before,' he told me. 'It used to hurt quite a bit,' he said it like it was no big deal, but I knew somehow that it must've hurt like hell. 'It got less and less worse every day.' Then he finally pulled away, covering his right eye with his hand. 'I can feel it burn like the day I made the contract when I give an order.' He frowned. 'I think he likes that.' He started to put the eye-patch back on, but I could see that he wasn't used to doing that himself.

'Let me do it,' I offered, reaching towards the strings of the patch.

Ciel let me put on his eye-patch without protesting, but grabbed one of my hands as I tried to pull away again. He looked at me with one eye now, looking surprisingly soft. 'Look out for Sebastian. I don't know what he did to you, but he will crush you if he thinks he could be even a mild danger to me.'

I was actually quite touched that he sounded worried. I didn't let him know that, of course. 'I'm well aware,' I said bitter, knowing that the tone in my voice gave me away. 'Sebastian has made that quite clear.'

Ciel frowned and opened his mouth, clearly to ask a question that I didn't want to answer, then he closed his mouth again and let go of my hand, apparently not interested enough to ask. 'Go and rest a bit,' he said, 'you seem like you need it.'

I nodded and went back to the couch.

Ciel cleared his throat. 'I meant rest in your room, not on my couch,' he then said.

I wasn't sure why, but it was clear that Ciel didn't want me near him right now. So I stood and walked towards to door, but turned around before leaving the room. 'Ciel,' I said, making him look up from his computer again. 'Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate it. I hope we can be…' I thought about it for a while not sure with word I could use that wouldn't put him off '…friends,' I decided to go with. Though I was quite sure that he wouldn't like that word.

'Friends?' Ciel repeated, sounding incredible sarcastic.

I nodded and left the room before he could say anything else.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian entered the office only seconds after Clarissa had left. 'Young master, lunch is ready,' he said to Ciel, who wasn't paying attention to his work anymore. 'Today's lunch is scones with homemade strawberry jam.'

Ciel sighed and stood up from his chair. 'Very well.'

The butler smirked. 'I also have a letter for you,' he said, waving the letter to his master as he walked up to his butler.

Ciel put his hand to his forehead, as if he had a headache. 'Read it to me during lunch.'

'May I ask what my young master is thinking about?' Sebastian asked, seeing the strange look in his master's eyes.

As Ciel walked through the corridor, on his way to the dining room, he said: 'Sebastian, do you think—' He stopped, did not want to ask his butler such a question.

'Yes, young master?' Sebastian asked, his eyes glowing with curiosity.

Ciel shook his head. 'No, never mind.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I managed to fall asleep and when I awoke, I felt a lot better. I immediately noticed that Mei-Rin was sitting in a chair besides my bed. She had fallen asleep.

I put a hand on her shoulder and shook her carefully. 'Mei-Rin,' I said, trying to wake her gently.

Mei-Rin opened her eyes and as she tried to rub her eyes, she hit the glass or her glasses with her hand, making me laugh. 'Good morning to you, Mei-Rin,' I said, laughing. Feeling a lot better. 'Did you watch over me?'

Mei-Rin seemed to be completely awake now. 'Yes!' she said. 'Young master ordered me to watch over you until his return!'

That made the laugh disappear. 'Ciel left?'

She nodded enthusiastically. 'Yes! And we'll leave for London this afternoon, so I packed clothes for you!'

Leaving for London? Did that mean that Ciel had another case? I didn't think that we were going just because it was the Christmas-season. And did Ciel have another house in London, or did he own Madame Red's house? Wouldn't surprise me. And why did Mei-Rin say 'we'? Was she coming with us this time?

'Are you coming to London as well?' I asked.

She nodded. 'Yes!'

I pulled the covers away and got out of bed. Then I realised that Ciel had actually ordered his maid to stay by my side and I was again flattered and surprised by his worry. He really was a kind kid, way kinder than he gave himself credit for. Not that I was going to tell him that. I did believe that Ciel didn't think that 'kind' was a compliment.

When I went to the bathroom to check how bad my hair had become, I saw that my eyes weren't purple. Strange. I though Sebastian had said that they were. I shrugged. Well, shit happened all the time since I met Ciel and Sebastian. If I questioned everything, I would drive myself crazy.

I looked at my completely hopeless hair and made a decision. Sebastian already knew about the mark and Ciel barely even looked at me, so I guessed that it was okay to make a bun. But I put on a scarf, just to make sure that no one saw the mark in my neck.

Mei-Rin was still sitting in the chair when I came back into the room. I decided that I could talk to turn until Ciel returned. Though I did think that Mei-Rin wasn't really my type of person. But who was, anyway?

'So, how was your day?' I asked her.

Did she blush? 'Err, well, I had the task to clean the silverware today, but Sebastian didn't let me, so I helped Finnian in the garden until young master called me. Since then I sat here.' I wasn't really sure why she sounded so nervous.

I nodded. 'Sebastian gets angry at you guys quite a lot, doesn't he?'

Mei-Rin looked like she wanted to agree, but she didn't literally do that. 'W-we mess up q-quite a lot, yes!' she said. 'We appreciate that young master still wants us to work at the mansion, yes!'

I smiled. I was sure that had something to do with the whole 'protect the mansion'-thing. Though Sebastian had never told me what made Finnian, Bard and Mei-Rin special. 'I can see that,' was my reaction, which didn't seem very fitting, but was the only response I could think of at the moment.

Mei-Rin's smile faded then, almost as if she thought of something sad. 'Did you and mister Sebastian have a fight?' she asked.

I frowned, wondered where that came from. 'No, I don't think so.' _Mess with her a bit. _I gnashed my teeth.

Mei-Rin noticed that, of course. 'But something did happen, yes?'

I sighed. 'I don't know. I don't think so. It's just that I realised that I was being played and…' I frowned. 'Wait, how do _you _know about that?'

A smile way too innocent to be innocent appeared on her face. 'Maids always see the most interesting scenes, yes!'

Oh gosh. I blushed. 'Then what did you… see exactly?'

She blushed as well. 'Nothing seriously embarrassing, yes!' was the only answer I got.

I thought about the time in the kitchen, when Sebastian had trapped me and seduced me so that he could have my emotions. Or both the times in the ball room. Though I knew that they'd probably seen that, I hadn't really realised it up until now. 'Oh, god!' I said and I could slap myself. Sebastian hadn't only messed with me in private. He had also messed with me in public.

Ugh, if I could, I would kill him.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When we arrived at the London mansion, which was indeed the house Madame Red used to live in, Ciel was already there.

Me, Mei-Rin and Finnian (Baldroy stayed home to protect the mansion) hadn't even taken of our coats yet when the front door opened again and Lau walked in as if this was his own house. 'My, my, you are already here!' he said. I wasn't sure who he was talking to. I guess it must have been Ciel, since the little earl had entered the entrance hall when we arrived. I didn't think he'd come to welcome as, I think he just followed Sebastian, who _had _come to welcome us, since he was a butler and all.

'You're just coming in unannounced?!' Ciel asked annoyed and angry. 'How often have I told you to at least send a note before you visit?!'

As Lau walked towards Ciel, Sebastian took my coat of. And even though I tried to keep in mind that I was angry at him and I still hurt, his presence made me blush. I tried to hide it, but I knew that he saw it.

'Ah, I vaguely remember that,' Lau said, smiling that dumb smile of his.

Sebastian spoke, with three coats in his hands now. 'As we have a gust, why don't I serve tea?' he offered to his master.

Ciel put a hand to his forehead, as if he had a headache. Maybe he had one. I guessed that Lau's presence _gave _him a headache. He sighed. 'Might as well.'

'I'd rather have chai than English tea,' someone said, but it wasn't Lau who'd said that.

'Might as well,' Ciel said, not noticing that it wasn't Lau who'd said that. Or maybe he did, but he just didn't care.

But the fact that he looked up surprised just moments later told me that he hadn't realised until now.

In the doorway were two men, obviously not from around here, both with dark, olive skin. One was a bit short for a man of his age, probably twenty-something, and had long, dark hair that looked purple. His clothes looked like the clothes from a musical about India. And his eyes were absolutely gorgeous. I would kill for those eyes. They looked like they were made of gold.

The man who stood behind this man had less colourful clothes, but his also looked like a costume. His hair was white, which was short, but he had two long locks which were adorned with beads. He also wore a plain turban, which only showed more that he wasn't from around here. His eyes were green.

Ciel seemed as surprised as I was that they were here. Maybe even more surprised. 'Wh-Wha…?!' he said, pointed at them with his finger.

'Oh, I met them on the street corner,' Lau explained. 'They said they wanted to see you.'

Weird guys from another country wanted to see Ciel? Hm. Maybe it was a business-thing or something.

Ciel ignored him. 'What are you going here?!' he asked the two men. I frowned. It seemed like he knew those guys.

The men had let themselves in, the richer looking one spoke when the other closed the door. 'Why, we're acquaintances now. Have you forgotten already?'

I realised that I didn't know these guys, so I should stay out of it. For now. But someone had to explain this to me later.

'Acquaintances?' Ciel repeated, obviously liking that word just as much as he liked the word 'friends' or 'buddies'.

The richer looking man just passed Ciel, followed by his, supposedly, servant. 'And I saved you, too,' he said, making me raise my eyebrows. Okay, somehow _really _needed to tell me the story behind that.

'Saved me?' Ciel repeated, sounding insulted and also quite angry now. 'Excuse me?!'

I laughed. His angry Ciel was a Ciel that I'd never seen before. Really like a kid.

The man was standing before me now, clearly planning to walk passed as if I was air as well. 'In India, it's the common practice to invite your saviour home and entertain him. Is it the British way to kick one's saviour out into the cold?' The men walked upstairs and it took Ciel a while to get over his anger before walked upstairs and being the curious girl that I was, I followed him. Moments later we were followed by Sebastian, who had put my and the house staff's coats away. I realised that those two were also following us.

Ciel opened the first room we saw when we came upstairs, the room that used to be mine. 'Just who are you, anyhow?!' he asked, still angry.

I laughed when I saw that the man was laying on the bed in a relaxed possession, his servant standing beside him like a butler. 'Me?' he said, sounding strangely seductive. 'I'm a prince.'

My mouth fell open. 'Prince?!' I said, sounding like a little girl.

The servant explained. I noticed now that he had a hand covered in bandages. I wondered what he'd done with it. 'This is the 26th child of the king Bengal,' he said. 26th? Wow. Busy king. It did explain the rich clothing and the golden jewellery, though. 'Prince Soma Ashman Kadar.'

'Thanks for hosting me here, Shorty,' the prince then said, making me laugh again. How come I never thought of that nickname before?

Finnian was standing beside me. 'Wow, you're a prince?!' he said enthusiastically.

'A-A prince!' Mei-Rin, who was standing beside Sebastian, said. 'I've never seen a prince up close before!'

'You may approach,' prince Soma Somewhat Something said, sounding incredible confident, but not in a bad way.

Of course, the two idiots approached immediately.

'What's that "Penkal" place like, yes?!' Mei-Rin asked.

As the prince explained, you could hear the love of his country in his voice. 'It's a holy land blessed by the goddess Kali and the Ganges River.'

Lau had come to stand beside me now, but talked to Ciel, who was standing in front of me. I hadn't noticed before, but Ciel was actually just a tiny bit smaller then I was. Dang it! That meant that I couldn't really call him 'shorty'. What a shame. Well, I was small for my age, so it wasn't strange that he was almost as tall as I was. 'So you brought the other servants with you this time?' Lau asked.

It was Sebastian who answered. 'Yes,' he said, 'Baldroy is watching the mansion.'

'Ah, that should be all right, then,' Lau said, sounding careless. 'Who is this Baldroy?' he then asked, making me want to slap myself in the face. He really did say everything without thinking, didn't he?

Ciel ignored Lau. 'Sebastian, don't let those two out of your sight,' he orderen, clearly talking about the prince and his servant.

'Very good, my Lord.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**End of chapter twenty-seven! I actually dreamed about Ciel yesterday. Well, about his funeral, actually. But Ciel was still alive and with us there. It was strange. We were in this bus and Ciel told us, I'm not sure who 'us' were, that Sebastian was a demon and the whole contract deal and what not. Sebastian wasn't there though :(. But anyway, Ciel cried, so that was strange. And we gave roses or something, well, it was just really strange. But I was really sad when I awoke, because it was the first time I dreamed about something Kuroshitsuji-related.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Konnichiwa!**

**I want to say that after Sunday, I probably won't write for a week of two, since I have school and I have this week coming up where all you have are tests and tests and more tests (not sure what that's called in English though :/ test-week or something?) so I want (actually ****_need_****) to focus on that. But because of the followers (sixty! Sixty followers! That's just awesome!) and because of the sweet and positive reviews (you guys are way too kind to me :D Thank you!) I want to write and write and write.**

**Oh, and I always just write the number of the chapter as the chapter name because I have no idea what else to call it, but I think I'm going to switch to numbers from now on. So instead of 'eleven' it will become 'Chapter 11'.**

**So yeah, that was a little update. I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa. Love you guys and hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 28**

Prince Soma went to sleep soon after Ciel ordered Mei-Rin and Finnian to 'get the hell out of his sight', but his servant, who told me his name was Agni, went to sit in the living room with me to tell me about how he and his master met Ciel and Sebastian.

'Street fight, huh,' I said. I was sitting in front of the window, looking at the snow falling down like angels from the sky.

Agni was sitting next to me in some strange, Indian way of sitting. I had tried to copy it, but I doubt my legs could even do that.

One thing that Agni had done before prince Soma went to sleep, was to make sure that the house was warm, not 'London' warm, but 'Indian-day-in-the-desert' warm, and I had taken my scarf of without thinking twice.

Since Agni had finished his story we were quiet, both staring at the snow. I guessed that that would be fascinating to see, since Agni had probably never seen snow before.

I heard footsteps and I assumed that it must be Finnian, since Mei-Rin wore heels and Sebastian was as silent as a mouse.

But then someone grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, making me fall onto the floor, staring into a single blue eye, that looked pretty intense. 'Were did you get that?!' Ciel asked, sounding incredible emotional for some reason.

It took me a while before I realised that he was talking about the mark in my neck. _Shit! _And I thought that Ciel had already gone to sleep!

I tried to pretend that I didn't understand at all. Okay, I was a bad liar so I kind of acted like a drunk lunatic, but at least that would distract him, right? 'Hey, Shorty! Are you here to watch the snow with us?'

Ciel didn't think it was funny. 'Clarissa, I'm serious,' he said cold.

Then a bandaged hand shot out so Ciel and pulled his hands from my shoulder. 'There now,' he said, 'that's no way to touch a lady. Or speak to one for that matter.'

Ciel looked like he wanted to hit Agni in the face with his walking stick… Which made me think of something. 'Ciel, where's your walking stick?' I asked, looking at him frowning.

Now Ciel was blushing, looking away. Ah, I seemed to be better in distracting people than I thought I was. 'I don't need it all the time.'

'Ciel! We're talking about your leg here! You can't just go and ruin it for the rest of your life!' I said, sounding strangely like a mom.

There followed a moment were Ciel and I seemed to have a conversation with our eyes.

_'__The rest of my life' will be quite a short period of time, _his eye told me.

I frowned. _You don't know that._

He closed his eye. _I do, though._

Agni didn't understand, of course. 'I saw you walking with a walking stick today. Do you have a condition?' he asked Ciel.

Ciel let me go and went to sit in the big chair in the living room. Crossing his legs, he said: 'There's nothing wrong with me.'

I rolled my eyes. _You sure you want to waste the short time you have left with an injured leg?_

Ciel narrowed his eyes. _Shut up._ He then sighed. 'Clarissa, I want you to come to my room,' he said, standing up. 'I prefer talking to you without some servant interrupting our conversation.'

I sighed now too, knowing that I could not keep avoiding this conversation. So I could just as well get it over with. I stood up, but decided that I still wanted to tease Ciel for a bit. 'Yes, my Lord,' I said, copying Sebastian's way of saying it.

Ciel twitched, but didn't say anything. As I followed him to his room, Agni found fault with it. 'Is it appropriate for a young man to have a conversation with a lady in his bedroom?' he asked.

'Don't care,' was the only answer he got from Ciel.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Drossel?' Ciel said, frowning. Then he looked at his ring, looking angry at it, as if this was its fault. 'That damn demon,' he then muttered, clearly not talking to me.

Ciel slept in Madame Red's old room and was sitting in the chair that stood in the corner of the room, his legs crossed. I just sat on the bed for now, since there wasn't really anywhere else to sit.

'No, I asked him not to tell you. I don't really like people knowing about it.' I brought my hand to the mark to cover it, closing my eyes for only a second.

When I opened them again, I saw that Ciel had pulled one eyebrow up. 'And he actually listened to you? That mark could be a really big clue to who killed my parents.' He grinned. 'I would almost think that that demon doesn't want me to get my revenge.'

I shook my head. 'I made a deal with him… Not that kind of deal!' I added as I saw that Ciel looked at me shocked. 'He said that he would keep it a secret if I let him…' I stopped, didn't want Ciel to know about that. Didn't want _anyone _to know about that. Mei-Rin probably sort of did.

But of course Ciel wasn't going to let it slide. 'What did you give him?' he asked.

'He asked if he could feed off of my emotions,' I said, wanted to run away and hide as soon as I'd sad that.

'Emotions?' Ciel repeated and I realised that Sebastian hadn't told him. Ciel didn't know about it.

And right now I was pissed enough at Sebastian to just them Ciel about it. 'Sebastian feeds off emotions. Yours, your house staff's, everyone. That's how he survives. Your soul is just like some sort of delicacy to him or something.'

Ciel pressed his lips together as he thought about this new information. 'How do you know that?' he asked after a while.

'He told me,' I said, a bit proud of myself that I knew something that Ciel hadn't known. 'I'm not sure why he told me it, though. Maybe just to see my reaction or something.'

'And he can feed off of anyone whenever he feels like it?' he then asked, sounding a bit worried. 'And without the victim noticing anything?'

I nodded. 'I do believe that's how it works. I'm not sure though.' I pulled a face. 'That demon could always be lying, of course.'

'He does not lie,' Ciel said, making a waving move with his hand. 'Twisting the truth, surely and keeping things from his master, of course, but he does not lie.' Then he frowned. 'But if he does feed off of our emotions whenever he feels like it and without anyone noticing, why did he have to ask you for permission?' he asked me.

'Ah,' I said. 'Yeah. Well. I don't really get that myself. But from what I got, it seems like I can put up walls in my head, or something, to protect my emotions from being stolen. Or something.' I had no idea if that was the correct explanation or not.

Ciel put his hands under his chin. 'How interesting,' he said and the way he acted seemed way too suspicious. 'Maybe you really are the key to this case.'

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. '…Thanks… I guess?'

'Clarissa,' he then said, sounding cold and stern all of the sudden. 'I do hope that you won't betray me. If you aren't already.' He sounded like he wouldn't be surprised if I was.

I looked shocked. Was I really that untrustworthy? 'Do you really think I would betray you?' I asked him.

The smile on his face was devilish, made me feel like I wasn't talking to a human anymore. 'All humans are the same. They betray for their own selfish needs. No one cares for others. Not really. That's why demons are more trustworthy. At least they are straightforward. If they hate you, they will not lie. They will most probably kill you, but they won't pretend that they _do _like you for their own profits. Humans are way worse than demons.'

Okay, so Ciel had trust issues. _No, _I realised after a while. This is a boy whose spirit has been broken down, hopes and dreams crushed. I wouldn't believe in the good in humanity, or the world for that matter, either, if the only one to come for my rescue was a demon.

I just stared at him, not sure how I looked or what I felt. This rotten world destroyed so many lives for nothing. What did it accomplish? Ciel had lost his faith in humanity, but I started to lose my faith in God.

Ciel looked flustered as he looked away from me, a frown on his face. 'Why are you looking at me like that?' he asked.

At first, I didn't answer. I was just thinking. Being angry at Sebastian wouldn't accomplish anything. Feeling hurt wouldn't either. He was indeed straightforward; he wouldn't have done it without good reason and he would not regret or apologize for it at all. The only thing I could do was accept the fact that Sebastian had easily fooled me and was that really that hard to do?

I was still staring at him when I finally said: 'It's nothing. I just… think you might be right.'

XxX

* * *

><p>It was prince Soma who woke me next morning.<p>

'We're going out, Clary!' he said with his accent, 'show us around town today!' It was clearly an order, not a request.

That was so _not _the thing I wanted to hear first thing in the morning. 'Eh?!' I said as I sat right up in my bad, one hand at my head because it ached.

Agni and Soma both stood next to my bed. But Agni had the good manners to greet me at least. 'Namaste ji, lady Lane,' he said, clearly an Indian greeting of some sorts.

I was too tired to make a fuss about this. 'Why are you guys in my room?' I asked, not being polite to this prince since he wasn't exactly nice to me. Which prince invades the room of a lady when she's sleeping?

'Because Ciel has lessons today and I want someone to show us around town,' Soma said, as if it was obvious.

The thought of Soma and Agni invading Ciel's room before mine made me chuckle. Wish I could've seen that. I bet Ciel _did _make a scene. 'Why should I?' I asked, staying under the covers as long as those two were in my room.

Then I saw that Sebastian was standing in the doorway, looking amused at me, as if he was having fun. I glared at him with narrowed eyes, hoping my glare could kill. I noticed that he wasn't wearing his normal outfit, but the brown outfit he'd worn to Aleister's party. The 'I'm a tutor not a butler'-outfit. He even had the glasses on.

It was easier than I had thought it would be, accepting the fact that I'd been fooled and getting on with my life. So Sebastian didn't like me. That wasn't really a surprise now, was it? He probably didn't even think I was remotely attractive, since I was a filthy human that was good for nothing except food.

Then prince Soma asked my attention again. 'Because I order you to do so,' he told me, taking the covers off.

I didn't scream like any normal girl would've done, I just sighed. I gave Sebastian another glare, but it was clear that he wasn't going to help me, so I looked back at the two. 'We're not in your country right now, I don't have to listen to you, you know.'

Prince Soma looked offended for a second, but before he could open his mouth, Sebastian _did _come for my rescue. 'I'm very sorry, but lady's schedule is also very busy today,' he said as he approached us. 'But please stay inside, it's storming outside right now, anyway.' Then he bowed. 'I'm very sorry, but I have to return to my master's side now.' And then he walked towards the door. He turned around in the doorway though, looking at me. 'Young master has violin lessons first thing in the morning.' Then he turned around and walked away.

I smiled, understanding why he'd told me that. I had to hurry up and get dressed. Ciel playing violin wasn't something I wanted to miss.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I arrived at the room that used to be Madame Red's office in time. I guessed that was because Ciel had to have breakfast before violin lessons.

I noticed that prince Soma and Agni had followed me, but Soma sent Agni away soon after entering the room.

There was a grant piano in the room and a music stand, but all the other things such as Madame Red's desk and book cases had been removed.

I sat down on the piano stool while Ciel was looking at the sheet music on his music-stand. '_Bach's Chaconne?_' he said, confused. 'I can't play something this difficult…'

Sebastian, who was also holding a bow, but not a violin, like Ciel did, used his bow to pull up Ciel's face. 'I make the rules here,' he said, clearly enjoying the power he now had over his master. 'Do you have a problem with my teaching methods?'

Ugh, that smile of his really was way too beautiful.

I thought that Ciel was going to say something, that he shouldn't act so cocky or something, but he didn't. He just used his bow to the Sebastian's bow out of his face, but the look on his face was quite comedic. He looked like a little kid whose favourite toy had been stolen.

But Ciel did start playing the violin without protesting and as I heard him play I was surprised that he thought that _Bach's Canon _(or something) was too difficult for him. He seemed to handle it okay.

And I have to admit that Ciel playing the violin was kind of hot. I said it, okay? He looked really attractive. Even that ridiculous, Victorian era, outfit he was wearing seemed cool for the moment.

'That's pretty good,' Sebastian said, making me pull up on eyebrow. Since when did Sebastian compliment Ciel? No, I take that back. Since when did Sebastian compliment anyone?

Then I noticed that Agni carried a statute, like a legit pretty big statue, into the room, Lau following him. He put it on the grand piano, _almost_ blocking my view of Ciel. As Agni and prince Soma sat on the and started praying in their language, Ciel stopped playing and looked up to see what was going on. He looked quite confused when he saw the statue. 'What is that?' he asked.

Lau was the one to answer. 'They seem to be praying, but it's quite a surreal idol, isn't it?' he said. As he said that, me, Sebastian and Ciel approached the strange object to give it a better look.

It was. Oh God, it was. It looked like a Hindi god or something.

But Sebastian obviously didn't think so. 'To me it merely looks like the statue of a woman carrying a severed head, wearing a necklace of severed heads and dancing on top of a man's stomach,' he said it as if this was a normal thing to witness.

I looked at him, an eyebrow pulled up. 'You forgot the four arms, the moon-shaped ears and the long tongue, dearie,' I told him, making him give me an amused smile.

Then, finally, someone who actually did know what they were talking about turned around to explain. 'She is Kali,' Agni explained, 'a goddess of our Hindu faith.'

'A goddess of India?' Ciel repeated with his violin and bow still in his hand.

'Kali is the wife of Shiva and the goddess of power,' Agni said.

Great. That answered all my questions.

But Agni wasn't finished yet. 'Long ago, a demon rashly challenged her to a fight. Naturally, she was victorious. However, afterwards her destructive urges were not quelled, and she abandoned herself to destruction and carnage.'

Well, that sure sounded like fun.

Agni's look became more intense as he continued his story. 'But then! To protect the earth, her husband Shiva threw himself at her feet!' He pointed at the man's body under the strange looking lady.

Ciel didn't look interested anymore, neither did I, but Sebastian seemed to enjoy himself enough. Most likely because it was a story about death and murder, two things I knew Sebastian liked.

'Treading on her husband with her unclean feet brought Kali back to her senses and peace returned to the world,' Agni said, finishing the story. He wasn't done talking though, as he turned back to the statue and closed his eyes in a praying position, he said: 'Kali is a great goddess who defeated the demon after a desperate battle. As proof, she carries the demon's head.'

'There you have it,' Ciel said and it took me a while to realise that he was talking to Lau. Wasn't sure what he meant, though.

It was Sebastian who reacted. 'Hmm, I wasn't aware of anyone so strong,' he said, bringing his glove hand to his chin. 'I'll have to take care if I travel to India.' The funniest thing was that he actually sounded serious, too.

Princa Soma got up then, still in the praying position he was in, but now standing. 'Now then,' he said. 'Since we're done praying, it's time to go out!' As he said that he grabbed Ciel and dragged him towards the doorway.

While that happened, Ciel protested. 'I told you, I'm busy!' he said, his voice higher than normal.

I laughed. Poor Ciel seemed more like a kid than he thought he did. Not sure he would like me to tell him that, though.

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**This chapter is a bit shorter than normal: mijn excuses (a formal way to apologize in Dutch. See? I learned you something new today).**

**Did any of you actually watch the anime in dub? Because I recently saw a bit of it and the thing I noticed was that the feel of the characters and the show overall was very different, it seemed like the English voices changed the personality of the characters and the show itself. Don't know what it is, though, but I really ****_really_**** do prefer to watch it subbed (as I do with every anime, actually). Also, I'm just going to say it, Ciel sounds like a girl in the English dub. I know that he's voiced by a girl, but the Japanese version is voiced by a girl as well and I had no trouble believing that the Japanese Ciel was male. The English voice clearly sounds like a female trying to sound like a boy and I find it very distracting. Also, no one can do Sebastian better than Ono. At least that's what I think. But I think that, as far as dubbing goes, it's pretty decent. I guess. I haven't watched the whole show in dub (hell no, never going to do that. Although I don't hate everyone who watches stuff dubbed, I really don't like watching it myself.) so I wouldn't really know.**

**I do like watching panels of English dub actors though, which is strange since I don't know most of them and I don't really know any of their work. The only anime I've ever seen fully in dub was Pokémon, but that was Dutch dub, and InuYasha, but that was before I even knew what anime was and I was just clicking on random shit on YouTube and then I ended up watching a whole series. Oh, and I've seen Death Note in dub too, but only a few episodes. Still not sure if I like the dub of Death Note or not, but I think it holds up fine. I think they did I pretty good job with the L they cast, he sounded pretty… L-like (found no other way to describe what L sounds like).**

**promocat: I'm not trying to make Ciel seem stupid, he clearly is one of the cleverest minds on the show. I do think Clarissa is a bit stupid though, at least when it comes to the demon-contract thing. I actually do not think Ciel is crazy either. He does have his crazy moments, sure, but he always managed to get himself back together so he can focus on his goal again.**

**BlackMoon901: It was pretty interesting, indeed. But when I awoke, the first five minutes was me trying to figure out what the hell just happened. And, of course, I tried to have a Kuroshitsuji-related dream again yesterday, but that didn't work. Sucks to be me. But thank you! I really keep being unsure whether my story is any good or not, so I ****_love _****to hear that it's still fun to read :)**

**Shadow demon Kitsune: Aww, thank you! That means more to me than you might think :D! And I'll try, ha ha.**

**Oh my god. I just noticed that I'm talking way too much again. Oh, well. See you guys!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey hey hey! This is probably the last chapter for a while, but if it's isn't then a new chapter will be up on Friday (because I don't do anything on a Friday evening, because I don't have a life and never go outside if I don't have to). But I will not upload between the 10th and the 18th of January.**

**And I wanted to say something that some of you might like, some of you might hate. I decided that I ****_am _****going to do the Noah's Ark Circus Arc. Not only because I would love to put Clarissa in a circus (XD) but also because there's not enough story left to come across every scene that I had in mind, there is a lot of stuff, a lot of conversations and scenes, that ****_need_**** to happen before I can go on.**

**The Circus Arc will be on the same place as it is in the manga, so after the Curry Arc.**

**I actually planned on shortening the Curry Arc, because it doesn't do much for the Clarissa-story, except for 'introducing' Ash. But I decided to keep it as it is. Mostly because I love Agni and Soma.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa!**

**I think that was everything that I wanted to say before this starts. Enjoy chapter 29 everyone!**

**XxX**

**Chapter 29**

'Honestly, when are you going to finish?'

Princa Soma and I were laying on a carpet on Grell's old room, which was empty now. Wasn't sure it had always been empty or not, but now it was. Agni had brought the carpet when he realised that there was nowhere else to sit in this room.

Prince Soma was laying on his stomach and looked bored, Agni was sitting behind him with a very neutral expression and I was laying on my back and had pulled my head backwards so that I could look at Ciel and Sebastian as they were training. Fencing-training, to be exact. Yeah, I didn't know that still was a thing either.

I had been chatting with Soma up until now, Soma had decided that he'd waited long enough.

'I say, what are you doing?' Soma said when his other question wasn't answered. 'I say!' he said when he still didn't get an reaction.

'Be quiet!' Ciel said annoyed, 'you're distracting me!'

Soma rolled his eyes. 'British people are so short-tempered,' he said bored.

'Thanks,' I said, pulling one eyebrow up.

He gave me a little smile. 'British nobles, then.'

I laughed. 'I do believe I agree with that.' Then I decided that I wanted to irritate Ciel too. 'Ciel! Ciel! Prince Soma wants your attention!'

Ciel turned to us, looking extremely annoyed. 'All right, fine!' he said angry. 'If you want my attention that badly, I'll oblige!'

'Oblige?' Soma repeated, looking at me with a look that told me that he'd never heard of the word before.

'Ciel, Ciel, Ciel,' I said, sounding like a cartoon character's mother. 'You don't use such difficult words and expect these Indians to understand you. English is not their first language, you know?'

Ciel held out his hand to Sebastian, who gave him his fencing foil. Boy that sounded weird. 'Why are you so annoying today?' he asked me.

I pulled the most innocent face I could. 'I'm not doing anything, Ciel! I just want the prince to have a nice time while he is in London.'

Ciel pressed his lips together and threw the foil to the prince, who shot up and caught it. 'Alright, then,' Ciel said. 'I'll entertain you.'

Soma chuckled like a little boy he'd gotten his first toy car. 'Then if I win, you'll go out with me and show me around town.' It wasn't a question.

Ciel pointed with his foil to the prince, trying to look threatening in that silly little get-up of his. 'If you can win,' he said arrogantly.

The look on Sebastian's face made me laugh. He looked like he really did not want this kind of shenanigans right now.

'I wish you luck,' Agni said while the prince stood in position to start. I wondered why the prince didn't need to wear a fence-uniform. It looked kind of dangerous just in his normal clothes.

Not that the foils they were fighting with could cause any harm. They were made for training and didn't even have a sharp end.

Agni looked at me. 'Do you want some tea, lady Lane?' he asked.

'Clarissa, please,' I said, 'and I would love some tea.' I always rolled my eyes at myself. Typical British person that I was.

Sebastian stood between Ciel and Soma and raised his hand. 'Begin!' he said and after that he stepped back, making sure that he didn't stand in their way.

I wasn't really interested in this fencing stuff, certainly not after having to see it for over an hour now, but when Sebastian was fighting, I at least had something to look at. So I just stared at the ceiling, listened to Ciel as he made arrogant remarks and smiled as I heard that Soma indeed did not the rules of fencing.

Then, suddenly, Agni was gone. The teapot fell out of his hands and landed all over me, making me flinch from the heat. 'Ouch!' I said as Agni screamed: 'Your Highness, look out!'

I had shot up and saw that Ciel was on the ground the same moment that I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. 'Are you okay?' Sebastian asked, frowning.

'I'm fine,' I lied, cause clearly my arms and neck were burned. Maybe I should take a cold shower. But right now that didn't matter. 'Worry about your master,' I told Sebastian.

But Agni already did that. He ran to Ciel to help him up. 'L-Lord Phantomhive! I'm so sorry! When I saw the prince losing, my reflexes took over…'

Ciel _did _seem fine though. At least he wasn't injured.

Then Soma laughed. 'Good job protecting your master, Agni. I commend you. Agni is my _khansama. _He belongs to me. In other words, I win.'

'B-but…!' Ciel protested.

The Lau was suddenly standing beside me and Sebastian. He'd been standing across the room. 'My, my. Butler, it looks like you'll have to avenge your master. For goodness sake.'

Ah, the irony was almost funny. It would have been funny if I wasn't in pain. I pretend I wasn't though. What kind of pussy would I be, if I would cry because tea spilled over me?

Sebastian grabbed the fencing foil. 'This is what you get for provoking a novice who doesn't know the rules,' he said to his master, making Ciel clench his fist and look angry at him. 'However, as the Phantomhive butler, I cannot remain quiet when someone harms my master. And more importantly, we're a full ten minutes behind schedule now.'

Geez, what an organized demon he was.

Ciel looked at Sebastian with a sour glare now. 'That's what you really care about, isn't it?'

'Interesting,' Soma said. 'All right, I'll allow a duel.' The turned to his servant. 'Agni, in the name of Kali, make sure you don't lose.' He handed Agni the foil.

Ciel shot up, stood straight and proud as he said: 'Sebastian, this is an order—'

Sebastian put his hand up to shut his young master up. The look on Ciel's face as he did that was really comical. 'I will, young master,' Sebastian said, knowing the order before he heard it, 'but first I believe that miss Lady needs some medical attention.'

All the men in the room turned to me and I blushed. _Geez, since when did _he _care?_

XxX

I was brought to my old bathroom, yes, I was _brought, _cause apparently I couldn't walk to the bathroom myself, and Mei-Rin got called to oil me after a cold shower. Agni, who had carried me while apologizing the whole time, left after bringing me to the bathroom.

I actually wanted to slap myself in the face. Now I would miss the most interesting duel, while I had to sit through so many boring ones!

I left the bathroom wearing my pyjama, since it was loose and Sebastian had told me to wear something lose because that would feel better. Mei-Rin stood there, ready to put the ointment on for me, but I just took it from her and said that I could handle it myself.

Jesus, how had Agni managed to get the water so hot? It felt like it was hotter than boiling hot lava. I knew it wasn't, but it hurt like hell.

The only burned place I couldn't reach was my back, but I decided to let that slide for now. Burning marks like this surely wouldn't kill me. It had been only boiling water after all.

I didn't return to the room where they were fencing. Mostly because I knew that the duel would be over by now, but also because I didn't want the prince to see me in my pyjamas. Sebastian had seen it numerous times already and Ciel and Lau had also seen it before, but it was somehow more embarrassing when I had to deal with a prince.

Someone knocked on the door soon after I had sat down on my bed in an uncomfortable position, making sure that none of the burns hurt while I sat. 'Yes?' I said, but the person was already coming in.

'Hello, miss Lane. How are your burn wounds?' Sebastian asked, a polite smile on his face.

'I'm fine,' I told him, really wanting him to leave. I couldn't keep my emotions under control with Sebastian here.

Sebastian didn't give a shit about that though. 'I do believe you've missed a spot,' he told me, grabbing the ointment that I had put on my nightstand.

I looked at him, not sure what he was going to do. 'What are you doing?' I asked carefully.

The smile on his face was way too much for me to handle. 'I'm going to take care of you, of course. You can't reached your back yourself.' He sat down the bed beside me. 'Undress.'

'Excuse me?!' I shot up from the bed, hugging myself to make sure that he wouldn't rip my clothes off. 'I'm not going to undress while you are looking at me?'

Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes. 'Don't feel unnecessary flattered. I don't want to see that. I just want to put some ointment on your back and put a bandage around it, so that you can wear clothes without all too much pain.'

Still really didn't want to take my clothes off. Now that I knew that Sebastian did not lie, I felt insulted. Oh? So I wasn't attractive.

Of course I wasn't. I was a human, after all.

I sighed and sat back on the bed, my back towards him as I pulled my pyjama shirt over my head, holding it against the front of my body.

Sebastian sighed and I felt how he took my bra of, making me scream and almost – _almost – _turn around. 'Hey! There was a reason I didn't take that off!' I told him.

'I'm sorry,' he said, not sounding sorry at all, 'but it was in the way.' Then I felt his soft hands against my back, putting the ointment on my back with his bare hands.

Finding this silence way to awkward, I decided to start a conversation. 'So, did you win?' I asked him.

'It was a draw,' he answered almost immediately.

Pfft, as if a normal human would ever be equal to a demon. 'Ciel said that you didn't lie,' I said cynical, clearly not believing him.

'Well, he _did _order me not to lie to _him_. He never said lying in general.' He sighed. 'But it really was a draw.'

I believed him, though this new information sure was interesting. So he couldn't lie to Ciel, but he could lie to me and everyone else. Hmm. 'Don't tell me that guy is a demon or something.' I pulled a face. 'Or a reaper.'

'No,' Sebastian answered as he put the bottle of ointment on the bed beside me. 'He is just a human.' Again that tone, that strange way he always talked about humans.

'Huh,' I said, surprised. I wasn't sure what to think of it. 'So humans _can _be just as strong as demons.'

'Hmm,' Sebastian said, but it didn't sound like a 'yes'. He started to put the bandage on and handed it to me, and I understood that I had to do the front and then give it back to him. I was happy that he at least gave me that kind of privacy.

'You sound like you do not agree with that,' I said as I gave the bandage back to him.

He was way faster than I was and gave it already back to me. 'A demon in his human form isn't really a good thing to go on. I have many limitations in this form.' He took the bandage from me when I handed it to him.

'Fascinating,' I said, not really thinking that but not sure what else to say.

'Done,' Sebastian said after a while.

The moment he said that I put my clothes back on as fast as I could. Then I turned around. 'Thank you,' I said and I knew I was blushing. 'I really don't know why you are being so kind to me, but I appreciate it.'

Sebastian smiled an way too polite smile with closed eyes. 'Young master ordered me to take care of you and watch over you, so I do what my master ordered me to do.' Then his laugh disappeared. 'Though I am amazed everything I get so see how weak humans are. Can everything harm you?'

Just as I opened my mouth to protest, he was gone.

XxX

Prince Soma gave me some wide-falling, Indian clothes to put on as an apology and even though I didn't look very good in the, I wore them the rest of the day. Even during dinner. Now that I had bandages put on I felt better, but I was sure that it would take a while for the wounds to heal. Which meant that I had to change the bandages sometime. Ugh, I would ask Mei-Rin then.

'How long do you people instead to stay here?' Ciel asked during dinner.

Soma and Ciel were sitting at the head of the table, one on each side and Ciel was staring and Soma with a not-so polite glare.

'We'll leave when our business is finished,' Soma told Ciel, his elbows on the table. I was surprised that Ciel or Sebastian didn't say anything about the etiquette or something, since even I knew that having your elbows on the table wasn't proper.

'Come to think of it,' Lau said, who was also still invading Ciel's space, 'you said you were searching for someone, right?'

Ciel looked at Lau annoyed, not really listened to what he said. 'And why are you staying here too?' he asked him.

'An interesting question,' was the only answer Lau gave.

'I'm looking for a woman,' Soma then said, taking something out of his jacket. It was a really ugly drawing of an… alien… girl? Or maybe it was a fish. I wasn't sure. 'Her name is Mina,' he said. 'She was a servant at my palace.'

Then, shockingly enough, Ciel out his elbows on the table. Okay, maybe he didn't know because he was raised by a demon or something. Now that I think about… he _was _raised by a demon wasn't he? His parents died when he was… twelve? Ten? I didn't remember. But I knew that they had been dead for quite some time. Hmm. Maybe that demon that a bad influence on him.

I almost laughed at myself. _A demon having a bad influence? No kidding!_

'Sebastian,' Ciel said, pointed with his fork to his butler, 'does that give you enough to find her?'

Highly doubt if a girl that Sebastian could do anything with that picture of a fish, whether that was supposed to be a girl of not.

Sebastian looked at the drawing and pulled a face. The funniest thing was that Soma was still dead serious. 'Even I can't do much with this…' Sebastian said after looking at it for a while. 'But I'll try my best.'

I rolled my eyes. _One hell of a show-off._

'And?' Ciel asked as he went on eating. 'What is she doing in England?'

Still holding on to the horrible drawing, Soma said: 'Mina was my attendant… more or less my nursemaid. She'd been with me ever since I could remember. My father and mother never even looked my way. I was always alone in the palace…'

Yeah, sorry. I couldn't feel sorry for a rich-ass prince who lived in a palace. Because I also was always alone. I just didn't live in a palace. And I didn't have servants. And I got beaten up quite a lot. Jup, I think I win.

'But Mina always stayed by my side,' Soma went on. 'But… a British nobleman with his eye on her kidnapped her and took her to England while I was away.'

Okay, so she was kind of like an older sister. I understood why he came to get her back. What I didn't get was why he hadn't found her already. He was a prince, right? And rich, probably. Hire the FBI or the CIA or call the cops. Was that really that hard?

Ciel wasn't impressed by his little background story. 'In other words,' he said, 'you came here to get this woman back?'

Soma out the drawing down. 'Yes,' he said determined. 'I'll get her back and bring her home with me, no matter what!'

Ciel wasn't impressed by his determination either. 'That's a lot of fuss over one servant,' he said, looking down at his food.

That insulted Soma, apparently. He shot up. 'No, it's not!' he screamed. He ran over to Ciel and grabbed him, almost pulling him out of his chair. I was surprised that Sebastian didn't do anything, but he let the scene play out.

'Can you even comprehend my despair?! Can you even comprehend what it feels like to be separated from her?!' Soma screamed.

I cringed as he said that. _Ouch._

'No, I can't,' Ciel said, making me and Soma make a surprised sound. 'The kind of trifling despair something like that could inspire? I can't understand it, and I don't care to.'

_Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies._

Ciel slapped Soma's hands away and walked towards the door. 'Some things won't come back, not matter how much you struggle. And some despair is impossible to escape.' As he left the room, he said: 'Maybe you can't understand that, though.' And I was sure that those words weren't a lie. I wasn't sure about everything else though. Wasn't such despair the thing that had let to his contract with Sebastian? I looked at the demon, who just stared back. Then I stood up from my chair. 'Excuse me,' I said and after that I ran out of the room, following Ciel.

I wasn't surprised to see him standing in the hallway, a hand over his eye-patch with his other eye closed.

I didn't say anything, though I knew that he must have heard me. But he gasped surprised when I put my arms around him and hugged him. I had wanted to for such a long time and even though he maybe didn't appreciate it, it calmed me down to hear his heart beat in his chest, to know that at least he was still human.

'_Some things won't come back, no matter how much you struggle_,' he said, but it was so soft that I was sure he was only saying it to himself.

Then he pulled away from me, but I was surprised that he didn't get angry at me. He just looked at me for a while with a pained look and then he looked away. 'I'm going to my room,' he announced, but I realised that he wasn't talking to me when I saw Sebastian standing in the hallway. 'Bring tea to my room,' he said to Sebastian. 'And some sweets.' Then he walked past me and walked towards the stairs.

'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, but he was staring at me as he said it.

XxX

I was wearing my pyjamas again and was walking through the house, trying to understand where everyone had gone. Mei-Rin and Finnian had gone to sleep, Sebastian had the ability to completely disappear, but I didn't know where Ciel, Lau, Soma and Agni were.

I was surprised to find at least two of those in Ciel's room. Well, I wasn't surprised to find Ciel in his own room, but I never thought he would let Lau – _Lau _of all people! – into his room.

They were playing some sort of card game that I didn't understand because I'd never played games. 'Were are Agni and Soma?' I asked as I sat beside Lau on the couch. Ciel was sitting in the chair at the other side of the table.

'They went out about two hours ago,' Ciel told me, sounding grumpy for some reason. He did look better than before, though. I seemed like Ciel was his best when he was in the moment and not dwelling on the past. Then the sound of a door opening and closing and two men with familiar accents talking loudly in the entrance hall was enough for the three of us to know that they were back. I couldn't hear what they were saying, though.

'So they're back,' Ciel said.

I leaned towards Lau to look at his cards, but immediately leaned away when he looked at me with a flirtatious look that I did not trust at all. 'I have to say those two are very suspicious,' Lau said.

'Well, yes, but I don't see how they'd benefit from those crimes. They don't seem to bear much of a grudge over colonial rule. And if they are doing it,' Ciel put one of his cards on the table, 'would they waltz right by me on their way to commit the crimes? It's like begging me to suspect them.'

I wanted to ask about which crimes he was talking about, but I didn't want to annoy him more than I had already done today and I guessed I could just read it in the papers or something.

'True,' Lau said, putting one of his own cards on the table. 'Then maybe they really are just looking for someone?'

Ciel put all his cards on the table and I wasn't sure if this meant that he'd won or lost. I didn't know anything about the game, after all. 'It's still too soon to say,' Ciel finally said, looking out of the window where the sky was still filled with snow. Then he sighed and turned back to me. 'Do you want to play, Clarissa?'

I shook my head a bit too quick. 'Oh, no. I don't know any games, so I would just be a bother. But thanks for asking.'

'It's not a bother at all,' Ciel grumbled. 'Not knowing any games, what kind of teenage girl are you.' He handed me a few cards and looked at me with a serious look. 'Now listen closely, because I will only explain it once,' he said.

I smile crossed my lips. _Way kinder than he gives himself credit for._

But then the smile faded. Because 'kind' didn't seem like a compliment anymore. It was a weakness.

XxX

**Chapter 29 has ended!**

**I actually didn't want to do the ointment-scene at first, but that conversation needed to happen and she needed to hurt herself (sorry Clarissa), so it seemed like a good idea. And I'm thinking of giving you a Dutch word every chapter, because I think that's funny. And because this is a fanfic for an anime, I will give the Japanese word with it as well, which means that I have limited words, but okay. Today's word is: world. In Dutch, world is 'wereld' and in Japanese world is 'sekai' (it can also mean 'society' or 'universe' I believe, not sure about that though). You probably knew that already though, since the word 'sekai' is used all the time. It's also the name of that one chick from 'School Days', but we're not talking about that. Ever.**

**And to get this out of the way, because this isn't one that I'm going to do: Black butler. 'Black' in Dutch is 'zwart' and 'butler' in Dutch is… 'butler'. So that means that 'Black Butler' in Dutch is 'Zwarte Butler' (the 'e' behind zwart is a grammar rule that I'm too lazy to explain). And in Japanese, of course 'Kuroshitsuji'. 'Kuro' means black, 'shitsuji' means butler. There you have it.**

**BlackMoon901: ha ha, thanks :) Hope that you did enjoy the dream, even though it was creepy. I think that Kuroshitsuji is way creepier than some give if credit for.**

**justaislinn: if you literally translate 'mijn excuses' to English, it would be 'my excuses'. That sounds a bit weird XD. If you can handle many languages, that's cool! I've had French, German, Spanish and English in school and I totally suck at all of them :/, except English, but that's because of movies, shows, books and that kind of stuff. And thank you so much! I will try my best! And I love eating way too much to forget it XD**

**promocat: yeah, I did think it was pretty well done. I think it has a lot to do with what you're used to, since Japanese voices are very different (think about all the girls with the high voices for example).**

**Love you guys and see you next time!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hello, everyone! I'm back! Well, for now, tomorrow I'll be busy with homework again, so yeah, I probably write two chapters today. Maybe three. Depends.**

**Hope you guys had a great week or two and sorry for not updating for so long! But wow! More than 70 followers?! That's something! Anyway, enjoy chapter 30 and remember; I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 30**

Ciel hadn't even began explaining the game when Sebastian's face appeared in the window. Upside down. I could only stare amazed. Was there something that guy couldn't do?

'Young master, he's on the move,' he told Ciel, his hair looking very funny because he was upside down.

Ciel acted like he'd seen this sort of trick before. Lau also didn't look surprised. 'All right,' Ciel said, 'let's follow him.'

Of course they were talking about Agni, I wasn't stupid. It couldn't be Soma because Agni wouldn't let Soma go without him. And it was clear that Sebastian meant that only one person was on the move.

I stood up. 'Alright, then. Let's go.'

Just as Ciel opened his mouth to say something, probably something like that I shouldn't come with them because I was stupid or something, there was someone standing at the door I'd left open and said: 'Take me with you!'

We all turned to Soma, who was standing in the doorway with a determined expression on his face.

'You…?' Ciel said surprised.

'I've known all along that Agni was going out after I went to bed,' Soma explained. Well, then I had guessed him stupider than he is. 'I want to know what he's doing!'

'Yes!' I said, immediately understanding. 'Of course we'll take you with us!' I turned to Ciel. 'We will, right?'

Ciel sighed and looked at Sebastian, who was still hanging upside down. 'Well,' he said slowly, turning back to me. 'Prince Soma can come with us. But you, Clarissa, you have to stay here. You'll only be in our way. And not only that, you're injured as well.'

'Injured?' I repeated. 'Such a minor—'

Ciel hold up his hand to silence me. 'I won't allow it. Sebastian, we're leaving. If you don't leave know we might lose sight him.'

'Yes, my Lord,' but the words had lost their flair because some random dude who was hanging upside down was saying them.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I was surprised that I managed to fall asleep that night. Not only that, I slept very well, that was a first. But I didn't wake up in the morning. I woke up in the middle of the night.

_They're back, my Lady, _I heard someone whisper in my ear, waking me up and disappearing before I could open my eyes. When I walked downstairs I saw that the voice had indeed been right. They were back. But I immediately noticed that Agni wasn't with them.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Sebastian looked at me with a serious expression and put a finger in front of his mouth to tell me that I should keep my mouth shut. Which I did, much to Sebastian's and my own surprise.

'That man was like a superhuman,' Lau said, bringing the cup of tea to his mouth. Yes, you heard it right. Ciel was so British that he even drank tea with his guests in the middle of the night.

Soma wasn't drinking his tea though. 'It's _Samadhi_, a state of mental concentration. When he gets like that, no one can touch him.'

I frowned, sure that they were talking about Agni, but not understanding what this was about. I looked at Sebastian again, who made a gesture that looked like he was fencing. I remembered that Sebastian had told me that the dual between him and Agni had been a draw, but I wasn't sure what that should tell me. What did Agni do this evening to bring this kind of topic up?

'_Samadhi_?' Ciel repeated, clearly not understanding the word just like me and Lau.

It wasn't Soma who explained, but Sebastian, while he did he kept looking at me, not looking at his master, as he answered his question. 'I imagine it's a type of trance. He's producing superhuman power through his absolute faith in his master. It's the power of faith, born from believing in and loving someone.'

What? That sounded like rubbish. It's not like everyone who believed in God had superhuman power, even if their faith and love was absolute. But maybe no one loved God like that. Maybe no one had such absolute believe in anything or anyone. No one except humans like Agni. 'A power a normal human could never obtain,' I murmured and from the look that Sebastian gave me I guessed that he'd heard me.

'Then why would he betray me?' Soma asked, suddenly upset. His fist slammed on the table and I was surprised that the teacups didn't fall over. 'Why do the people close to me always leave?!' Then he knocked the tea cups over himself, shoving them of the table like it was their fault.

Ciel just witnessed this little drama scene with a bored and tired expression on his face, but when the teacups hit the ground he clearly started to get angry. 'Why, you…'

Soma shot up from his chair, clenching his hands in to fists. 'Why? Why?!' Then he fled the room like a spoiled kid. And I was surprised that those were the words that left my lips. This time I didn't mind to get ignored completely.

'Oh,' Sebastian said, 'just look at the Havailand tea set I ordered. It would seem I must retrain him a little.'

I looked at him with one eyebrow pulled up. 'Retrain him? Like a dog?' I asked.

Sebastian just smiled and left the room.

Me and Ciel shared a look before running after him.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian walked into Soma's room and threw him out of his bed while me and Ciel were just standing in the room, next to the door. Ciel crossed his arms, clearly decided just to watch.

'How rude!' Soma yelled as he fell on the ground.

'Which of us is the rude one?' Sebastian asked and I was surprised by the harshness and coldness of his voice. 'This is England, and the residence of Earl Phantomhive. You have no right to give me any orders here. You're just an ordinary brat.'

I shivered. His words weren't only harsh, they were mean, clearly intend to hurt Soma. And even though I wasn't fully aware of what was going on, I didn't think he deserved it. Sure, he was acting like a spoiled brat, but he _was_ a prince, how else was he supposed to act? I bet he just didn't know any better.

But Sebastian wasn't finished yet. 'You're a helpless child who can't do anything without Agni. And even he, your pillar of strength, has betrayed you.'

Okay, I had enough of this now. 'Hey—'

Ciel stopped me by putting one gloved hand (he was wearing black leather gloves) over my mouth and grabbed my arm with the other one, holding me still. He shook his head and released me, knowing that I understood that I wasn't allowed to interfere.

'You're right,' Soma said, defeated. 'I have nothing now. I've lost everything.'

That was the moment that Sebastian started to laugh. A laugh so dark and devilish that even Ciel shivered. 'Lost? What a tiresome idiot you are. You didn't "lose" anything. You never had anything to begin with.'

Soma's face became pale as he tried to grasp what Sebastian had just said. 'What?'

A smile worse than death appeared on Sebastian's face. He seemed to be enjoying the pain on the prince's face. 'The status you got from your parents. The castle you got from your parents. The servant you got from your parents. You've never owned a single thing in your life. Am I right?'

This was way to cruel. I started to move forward again, but Ciel put an arm in front of me, still holding me back. I wanted to just ignore him again, but then I saw the determined expression on his face. He looked as if he thought Soma needed this. And he also looked like he would stop this when he thought it was time to do so.

'You're wrong…' Soma said, but he did not sound convincing.

'The truth is, some part of you knew about Agni, but you didn't even have the courage to find out on your own.'

Soma tried to flee the room. 'You're wrong!'

The door closed in front om him and Sebastian was the one to blame. I must admit I was relieved that I could not see his face anymore.

'You know I'm not wrong,' Sebastian said, towering over Soma like a king that Soma could never be. 'Posing as the tragic hero now that you've been forced to see reality? You're truly a hopeless brat.'

That was the moment that Soma fell on the ground, as if his legs had given up. 'They all promised they'd stay with me forever…'

'They only said that because that was what you wanted to hear, obviously. They wouldn't serve someone they got nothing from in return. In the slums, even a three-year-old would know that. No one actually loved you.'

Nothing Sebastian said was wrong and I wasn't disagreeing with anything. Still, it felt like a crime to tell this to Soma, who was looking so sad and broken. When was Ciel going to shut him up?

Apparently, now. 'That's enough of that,' Ciel said, crossing his arms again. It was clearly that he didn't feel sorry for Soma and I wasn't sure what had convinced him to stop Sebastian from saying anything else. 'Maybe I would've been the same way, if it hadn't been for that month.'

Soma had noticed that the worst was behind him and stood up while I asked: 'That month?' That was some new information. So I'd been right. This wasn't just about his parents. There was more. A month more. What happened to Ciel in that month? What drove him to such hatred and despair that he would summon a demon?

I was surprised that Ciel actually answered me, but it was clear that he was doing it to teach Soma something. 'My family was killed, my home burned down and I suffered humiliation worse than you'd inflict on a beast.'

I shivered, avoiding Ciel's face. Whatever happened, it was something so dark that I started to doubt if I even _wanted_ to know.

Soma was staring at Ciel now, clearly not fully understanding what his words meant. 'I was helpless,' Ciel said. 'A child. But I came back here, to make the people who did all that to me suffer the same humiliation. If the Phantomhives are a nuisance to those who killed my parents, then if I stay the family head, they'll eventually come after me. I'm waiting for them to come here to kill me.'

I realised I had problems with standing when Sebastian grabbed me to keep me from falling. I wasn't sure why, but his story made me feel like someone had blown out the candle that had kept me alive until that point.

_Oh. It's worse. Worse than I expected. So unclean. So, so unclean._

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. 'Purple,' he said, so soft that I wasn't even sure if I'd heard it right.

'Why would you go that far?' Soma asked Ciel, clearly not understanding anything.

'What good would melancholy and grief do me?' he asked Soma, closing his eye as he spoke. 'Even a dead person can stand still and do nothing. But I'm alive and standing on my own power.' He opened his eye again. 'If I'm going to die someday, I might as well do it without regrets.' He looked at me as he said: 'And on my own terms.' A small, lifeless smile appeared on his face. 'I won't use high-sounding words as "revenge". This is all just to please me. It's a game to see whether I win or they win. Even if I'm plunged to the depths of despair, if there's a spider's thread there that I can crawl up to, I'll take hold of it without giving up. We humans have the strength to do that.'

Soma was completely amazed now, clearly starting to understand what Ciel was trying to tell him. I wasn't thinking about that, though. My mind was too full of a feeling that I could only describe as hate. I hated to monsters in this world, I hated to darkness that had driven Ciel to say such words. Words no ordinary child could think of. But I understood him better now. He wasn't a victim. A victim was weak. No, Ciel was a survivor, holding on to every spider thread he could find. That one of them happened to lead to a demon wasn't something he regretted. He just moved on, knowing that grieving and regretting wouldn't change anything. But the thing I understood most now was that I could never understand him. Because, even after everything I had been through, I was still normal. I hadn't suffered enough to become half the person that he was. And with that I didn't mean a good person. I meant a wise one. The wisdom of an old pessimistic man in the body of a twelve-year-old boy.

'It's up to each person whether they grab the thread or not, though,' Ciel added. Then he sighed and dropped the topic, clearly done talking. 'Enough talk. Sebastian, I need to talk to you about West. Come.'

Sebastian let go of me carefully, making sure that I wouldn't fall over when he let go. I didn't. Because I realised that I too had been acting weak up until this point. Complaining about how heartless Sebastian was and how much I hated it when Ciel didn't take me with him, but now I realised that I wasn't his teammate. I was his pawn, like everyone else was. And I couldn't move if he didn't move me. And although normally I would have fought against it, normally I wouldn't have let anyone use me, but I understood now that that was what kept Ciel alive. He placed his pawns in order to protect himself, the king. Because if the king dies, de game is over. And I really didn't want to just sit here and let that happen. If he had a way to use me for his causes, I would let him. And I wouldn't stand in his way.

After all, it wasn't like I had anywhere else to go.

Sebastian followed Ciel as he left the room and soon after that, Soma ran after them. I just kept standing there, realising that I, too, was a spoiled brat.

Well, shit. How did that happen?

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep, but when I woke up I was in my bed and I had missed all the critical information. Lucky enough for me Sebastian came to my room that morning. And with 'lucky' I meant that I seriously considered to jump out of the window to outrun the guy, not only because of his harshness towards Soma, but also because he'd come to take a look at my burn marks.

'You are going to participate in a cooking program?' I asked Sebastian as I stood in the bathroom. I had locked myself up there to make sure that Sebastian wasn't looking as I unwrapped the bandage.

'It appears so,' Sebastian said.

'And only because this Wets-guy is using Agni to take down his competition… the bastard… ' Then I pulled a face. 'Wait… let me guess… Ciel only wants you to participate so he can win because that will be great publicity for the Funtom Company.' Every word sounded sour.

'That's quite accurate indeed,' Sebastian said. 'Young master has been thinking about expanding the business into foodstuffs for a while now. If he starts by winning the curry show, it's sure to generate buzz…Are you almost done?'

'Yes, yes,' I said. 'Hold on, Sebby, we're not all as fast as you are.' I cursed. How the hell did Sebastian put this bandage on me? This felt like duct tape. 'Do you even know how to make curry?' I mumbled. 'I bet Agni does. And although I think your food is delicious, I doubt you can defeat him and… wait… the curry show? As in the curry show held next week?'

'Yes, my Lady,' Sebastian answered.

'Oh my god!' I screamed. 'I heard the Queen will be there? She will, won't she? I've read somewhere that she loves curry!'

'Young master does think it's just a rumor,' Sebastian told me. 'Are you done?'

'Yes, yes, yes,' I said as the bandage fell on the ground. Then I looked into the mirror in the bathroom and saw… nothing.

A knock on the door. 'Miss Lane?' Sebastian said.

'Sebastian,' I said, staring at myself in the mirror as I looked into two familiar eyes. 'If I were an angel, would I get burn marks like that?'

It took Sebastian a while to answer. 'Well, angels can surely get injured. The injuries would just heal a lot quicker. Why the sudden interest?'

I just stared at my reflection, trying to understand what was going on with me. Was I slowly turning into a doll, did Drossel do that to me without me noticing? I highly doubted that, but what if?

Another knock on the door. 'Miss Lane?'

'They're gone,' I told him, checking if the burn mark in my neck was still there. If unfortunately was. 'The burn wounds they… they have vanished.'

'Vanished?' Sebastian repeated.

I suddenly got scared that he would break in, so I said. 'Yeah, but maybe they just weren't that bad. I mean, it _was_ just tea, you know.'

'That's true,' was his reaction. 'But I'd still like to take a look.'

I sighed and put in a T-Shirt that releaved my neck so that he could see that the burn marks there were gone. And now only hope that he didn't want to 'take a look' at the rest of th burn wounds.

I walked out of the bathroom in my T-Shirt and jeans and saw that Sebastian had a strange sort of smile on his face. A smile that I didn't trust at all. 'Why are you smiling like that?' I asked him.

He shook his head. 'I'm not smiling, my Lady.' He reached with his hand and touched my neck. 'You were right,' he said. 'They have completely vanished.' But the look on his face told me that he wasn't thinking about the burn wounds.

I took a step back. 'Why, Sebastian, thank you for telling me something that I knew already. And if you'll excuse me; I have homework to do.' Not a very convincing lie, but it was the only thing I could think of at the moment.

Sebastian smiled an amused smile, clearly not believing me. 'Of course, miss,' he said, leaving the room without a sound of a trace.

I sighed. _If only I could read minds. That would make my whole life so much easier. _

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Me and Soma were standing in front of a gigantic table filled with endless pans with curry, all looking different.

'Did… did you make all these yourself?' Soma asked, completely blown away by the incredible amount.

'Yes,' Sebastian answered smiling, as if it was nothing. 'You're the only one who knows Agni's curry. And since your taste might be different from the British judges tastes, I need a British person as well, that's why miss Lane is here. I'd like your help to make more divine curry than any curry in this world, as soon as possible.'

Soma didn't seem to like the idea at first, but gathered to strength to say: 'A-All right. If me eating curry will be useful, I'll eat as much as you please!'

Sebastian looked at me now, waiting for my approval. Knowing that Ciel wouldn't agree to participate, I nodded, believing I made the wrong choice the moment I made it. But at least I helped Ciel out with his promotion stunt.

A smile that almost looked like it was just for me appeared on Sebastian's face and I had to tell myself that that was just one of Sebastian's seducing-tricks. 'Thank you,' he said, but then I realised why I had felt like this was a bad idea. Oh, god. How could I forget? This wasn't going to be fun. This was going to be a nightmare.

I didn't like curry.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**Chapter 30 has ended! So today's word: cat. So in Dutch you usually say 'kat', but if it's male then you can also say 'kater'. If it's a female then the correct word is 'poes'. And I believe cat in Japanese is neko, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: Heh heh, thank you :)**

**promocat: Aww, thank yo uso much!**

**Aizawa Maiko: Thank you, I'll remember that! :)**

**wolf-akuma: Well, soon wasn't really soon, so sorry about that. But thanks! :D**

**Guest: Ah, that sounds interesting!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31 everyone! Yay! And sorry for the typos, hate me if you want to.**

**I still don't own Kuroshitsuji (duh), but I do own my OC.**

**Enjoy chapter 31!**

**XxX**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 31<strong>

'Can you please just stop laughing?!' Ciel asked frustrated.

'I'm… s-sorry… C-Ciel!' I said laughing. 'But you look absolutely ridiculous! What, are you joining the Circus?'

Ciel was wearing some sort of strange uniform that looked like he was auditioning for a movie about warrior fairies. He was blushing now, but I wasn't sure if it was anger of embarrassment. Maybe both.

We were on our way to the studio were the curry show was filmed. It was all going to be live, but now Sebastian had four hours to take a look at his workplace and prepare himself. The program would be live on television, but I really hoped that Ciel would change his outfit before that happened, because I really did not want to sit next to someone dressed like that. That would draw attention and that meant that the camera's would often point his way. And if there was one thing I didn't want to attract, it was attention.

When we arrived at the studio I saw how big it was. It was gigantic. Not only the studio itself, but also the area the curry show was going to be held. There was a very bug space for audience and four kitchens. I guessed this meant that there were four participants.

_All the others got killed by Agni, of course._

'Sebastian,' Ciel then said as we walked through the studio after talking to the producer about the show. 'Look after Clarissa. Me and Soma will investigate the other parts of the studio.' I wasn't sure what he meant by that. It didn't seem like Ciel was prioritizing Agni anymore

Sebastian nodded. 'Yes, my Lord.'

'You know,' I said, 'I'm not a dog. I can take care of myself.'

Ciel made a disdainful sound. 'No, you cannot.' Then he turned around and Soma followed him, but saying goodbye since he was terrified of Sebastian since yesterday.

I sighed.

Sebastian turned to me. 'Well, let's see the cooking area they've created for us.'

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'Us? Are you saying that you need help?' I asked.

'No,' was his answer, though it did not sound convincing at all.

We walked to the place where the 'Funtom-team was supposed to be. And then I realised something. This was a modern day cooking show.

With modern day cooking utensils.

'Well, shit,' I said soft so that the staff members couldn't hear me, but Sebastian could. 'You're screwed, buddy.'

'Not entirely,' he said, turning to me.

It took a while for me to realise what he meant. 'Oh no, I'm not going to help you in any way. There are rumours enough about me _without_ me being in a cooking program. So you can say goodbye to that idea, Sebastian. Never going to happen.'

Then he leaned forward, ignoring the crew as he pressed his lips against my ear. 'Please?' he said, his voice sweeter than chocolate.

I pulled up an eyebrow, surprisingly enough not affected by his presence. 'Stay back, Seb. I'm not going to try to remove you, because we both know that that won't work, but this kind of trick won't work on me.' _Not anymore._

He pulled back. 'How unfortunate,' was his reaction, his eyes narrowed.

I sighed. 'Fine, I'll help you. But only because I want to help Ciel. Not because I want to help you.' I gave him a disgusted look. 'I'd rather go on a date with the devil than help you.'

'Ah, how ironic,' he said, a content and somewhat amused smile on his lips.

Argh! He was way too cute! If I didn't keep myself in check, I would kiss those perfect lips of his again. And that was a mistake that I didn't want to repeat again.

Then a familiar face walked up to us. 'Clarissa. Sebastian,' Agni said, looking surprisingly sad.

XxX

* * *

><p>'Mina promised me that she'd act like her old self in front of the prince if I obeyed West's orders.' Agni put the bandaged hand to his face. 'If my innocent prince found out how Mina really feels…' He looked desperate, not knowing what he should do.<p>

I wasn't sure how to react. I was happy that I finally understood what the heck was going on, but it really felt like this was none of my business.

'So that's what this was about,' Sebastian said, not really saying it for any reason other than to say something.

Agni pulled his hand away from his face and looked at us with a face full of fighting-spirit. 'That's why I can't lose!'

I again didn't know how to react. But, again, I didn't have to. Sebastian chuckled. 'What a coincidence. I feel the same way.'

Then I noticed another participant looking at us with a look of jealousy. Oh, boy. These people really did take their curry seriously.

'Now then,' Sebastian then said, ripping my eyes away from the participant. 'I think now is the best time to explain to me how to use these modern day cooking utensils.'

Agni opened his mouth, clearly wanting to say something, but then closed his mouth and walked away. I bet he knew that going against Sebastian with words wasn't going to do much. He was ordered to do something, so he will do it. Demons were straightforward like that.

'Oh, great idea!' I said. 'Then I don't have to be on television during the curry show itself! And maybe I even have time to call Elizabeth for a more decent outfit for Ciel.'

Sebastian rolled his eyes. 'Oh, please. Young master looks absolutely fine. Maybe he's not dressed properly for this time period, but he certainly looks proper to me.'

Now _I _was to one to roll my eyes. 'You're a demon, remember? I don't think you have a good understanding of what 'proper' means.'

The smile on his face was so fake that I felt like punching it. 'Well, I believe I do, miss Lane.'

I shook my head as I grabbed the mixer from the counter. 'Do you know what this is?' I asked him, ignoring his last statement.

'A mixer,' he immediately answered. He was intelligent enough to guess that, of course.

'That's right,' I said. 'So you have to plug it in and you push this button and then it will go on and you can mix stuff! Isn't that gre-' I stopped mid-sentence when I saw how close Sebastian was suddenly standing to me.

'Which button?' he asked.

I had to get myself together before I could look away from his face and answer. 'This button, you see?'

He stood behind me now and his arms were around me as he grabbed the mixer, covering my hands with his own. 'This one?' he asked.

I knew he was just teasing me now. 'Yes,' I said, hating how breathless I sounded.

'Hmm,' Sebastian said softly, tightening his arms around me. 'I rather like this position. You should help me cook more often.'

'No way in hell I'm going to do that,' I told him, still a bit breathless. I had to focus on my words more than usual to make sure I wasn't stuttering.

I felt Sebastian's breath in my ear as he said: 'Ah, the irony.' Then he leant closer to me. Now I could feel his breath against my cheek.

'What are you doing?' I asked. 'We are in a public place!' I looked around me, suddenly way too aware of all the crew that was there, clearly trying to ignore us while also clearly failing to do so.

'So you would be okay with this kind of position if we weren't in a public place?' Sebastian asked, one gloved finger stroking my hand very softly.

I was too scared to move an inch, too scared what my body would do if I did. 'I didn't say that—'

Finally he pressed his lips against my cheek. 'Paparazzi,' he said and as he said that I looked directly into the lens of a camera. The one holding it was a woman who looked way too happy with the picture she took.

I pulled away from Sebastian, but it was already too late.

The woman got herself a picture.

XxX

* * *

><p>Sebastian should be thankful that I wasn't standing next to him when the curry show started, because I would have messed with his curry just to annoy him as much as he'd annoyed me. I probably would be on the cover of some gossip magazine tomorrow. Argh!<p>

'What got you all grumpy and cranky?' asked Ciel as the host of the show walked up to the main stage.

'Nothing,' I said, trying to sound not all that grumpy.

'Thank you for waiting, everyone!' The host then said. I hadn't noticed that they'd started filming, but there was no turning back now. 'It's time for the Curry Festival, The Best of London Curry!'

'Look, it's him again,' Lau said, pointing at someone on the main stage. That cat-girl was sitting on his lap again, annoying everyone who was sitting behind us. As I followed his finger my eyes fell on Aleister.

Oh gosh. As if this day couldn't get any worse.

'Attention seeker,' Ciel muttered, making this awful situation only a little bit better,

Then I frowned. 'Where's Soma?' I asked.

Ciel shrugged. 'He met someone a while ago and it seems that meeting didn't bring him much pleasance. I bet he also doesn't want to see his servant Agni participate in a contest _against_ him.'

'And now,' the host said, 'let the cooking be—'

There was sudden music through the studio as everyone looked around, except me. I looked at the host and it was clear that he'd known about this. They just pretend like it was a surprise.

Then a woman dressed in black, her face hidden away, walked up to the main stage, accompanied by a very familiar face.

'Her majesty!' Ciel said while I said: 'Ash?'

The host opened his mouth again. 'Ladies and gentlemen! Her Majesty Queen Victoria, mother of England, has favoured us with her honoured presence!'

Everyone in the audience started to speak. 'I can't believe she really came!' 'Her Majesty!' 'She seems to have lost quite a bit of weight…'

That was all nice and fine, but the only things I could think of was A, Ash was here and I had no idea why, also, he was accompanying the Queen! And B, even though her face was covered so I couldn't really tell, the Queen certainly did not look like a middle-aged lady. She looked like a twelve-year-old kid.

And then Aleister came to seek attention again as he stood up and started to sing _God save the Queen_. He was soon joined by everyone else in the room, except me, Lau and that girl on his lap. Lau and that girl probably didn't sing it because, in fact, she wasn't their Queen. And I didn't sing because I honestly didn't know the words. Then I noticed that Sebastian wasn't singing as well, but he was staring at Ash with a glare. I couldn't tell which emotion was on his face, but he looked pretty intense.

'_God save our gracious Queen, long live our noble Queen. God save the Queen! Send her victorious, happy and glorious, long to reign over us. God save the Queen!_'

As the song wrapped the Queen stood in front of a very fancy chair next to the other judges and I realised now that she was wearing all black because her husband passed away. Was that why she was hiding her face?

Ash leant towards the Queen, clearly listening to something she said. Then he straightened himself and spoke to the audience, but he looked at me as he spoke. 'Her Majesty wants me to tell you: "I apologize for my inability to appear before you for so long. However, I am now in such perfect health that I may even enjoy curry again. My late husband Albert was very fond of curry as well. I look forward to examining the fruits of your labours."'

As the audience cheered I rolled my eyes. I never liked the whole hype around the Queen. I just felt like she didn't really do much.

'And with that,' the host said, '_allez cuisine_!'

_Allez _what? Was that French? That didn't sound right. Oh, well. It wasn't like I knew how to speak French, so I really wasn't the one to judge.

All the participants went to their own cooking area as I saw that Agni was unwrapping his bandage. Was Samadhi really useful while cooking? It sounded a bit questionable to me, but hey, I lived with a demon, a kid with a contract with said demon and three idiots who couldn't do anything, so I was ready to believe anything.

It was almost funny to see how quick Sebastian and Agni moved in contrast to the others. Sebastian wasn't moving too fast, so it didn't seem supernatural, but it did looked really, really impressive.

I was actually still wondering if he managed to find the perfect curry. I had given up before all the curry's were tasted (there was only so much curry as I could take), but I guessed he did seeing as he looked completely sure of himself.

And of course you could hear the girls squeak as Sebastian took of his tailcoat and pulled up his sleeves. He was still wearing his gloves though. It felt kind of cool that I knew why.

The audience was giving loud commentary while all of this happened, but they stopped talking for a while when they saw what Sebastian's final ingredient was.

Chocolate.

The silence only took a while. Then everyone was talking about how absurd it was to put chocolate in curry. But then I looked at Agni and the look on his face told me that that wasn't true. He looked… defeated.

Then, for the first time since the show started, one of the participants spoke.

'Where did an Englishman like you get such an idea?' Agni asked Sebastian, who had the cooking area next to him. Everyone was silent now, curious what the butler would answer.

The answer he gave shouldn't have surprised me. But it certainly shouldn't have surprised Ciel. But his answer surprised us both. 'My master ordered me to do it. I carry out my master's orders, no matter how unreasonable they may be. You see, I am merely one hell of a butler.'

I looked at Ciel with my eyebrows pulled up, but didn't say anything. Lau, on the other hand, did. 'It's all in the phrasing, eh?' he said, petting the girl's hair.

'Was that supposed to be sarcasm?' Ciel asked annoyed, but he looked at Sebastian with a small, almost invisible smile on his face. The smile Sebastian gave him was almost blinding.

Then Agni pulled out a strange ingredient as well.

A blue lobster.

You could hear all the food specialists talk about the rarity of such an ingredient, but I really could care less. Because I just noticed that Ash was staring at me. Great, for how long had he been staring?

I kept staring back at him, but he didn't look away. He just kept staring with that strange smile on his lips.

I was the first to look away, but only because the host said that it was time of the judgement. The first few weren't really that interesting, but when it was Agni's turn I got interested. The reaction he got from all three of the judges seemed impossible to outdo. Sebastian could never win.

The host seemed to think so too. 'Such high praise! Is victory assured?! Or can our final contestant garner even higher praise?!'

Sebastian gave the judges a plate and then I saw that there wasn't any curry on the plates.

There were buns.

Buns?!

Everyone in the audience looked confused. Everyone was sure that he had been making curry. So… where did it go?

One of the judges stood up. 'What are you playing at?' he asked Sebastian, clearly feeling insulted. 'I see no curry!'

'Wait!' Aleister said. 'It's…' He cut the bun in half. 'There's curry on the inside.'

That surprised everyone except Ciel, which wasn't much of a surprise to me. He knew that his butler wouldn't let him down. 'This is the curry Funtom is proud to present,' Sebastian said. 'We call it the curry bun!'

Then the judges tasted it and their doubts faded. Praises were given by every single one of them, but I couldn't tell whether they were higher praises or not.

'We'll now leave the judges time to deliberate!' the host said. 'In the meantime, feel free to try any curry you like! We'll be back after a short break!' And then the camera's stopped filming and the audience started to move towards the table that was set up, where different paper plates with different curry's were standing.

Ciel, Lau and cat-girl didn't move, though. 'I noticed Her Majesty didn't eat. She's not going to examine the recipes?' Lau asked.

'I imagine she avoided it to spare her health,' Ciel said.

I shook my head. 'I bet she will give her opinion after the break, to keep everyone watching at home.'

Ciel looked at me annoyed. 'I wasn't finished yet,' he told me mean-spirited. 'Anyway, it's possible she'll sample the ones she finds interesting. And that would change the judges' impressions. It's up to the Queen who wins, in the end.'

We all looked at the Queen in the big chair, Ash still standing by her side and the way he stood made me think of Sebastian. Was he her butler? I really hoped he wasn't a demon as well. Where would England be if the Queen made a contract with a demon?

Ciel frowned and stood up, but it was clear that he wasn't going for the curry. 'Back in a minute,' he said and after that he just walked off.

I thought about following him for a while, but then I saw that Ash was speaking to Sebastian and I focused on that. And then I watched as Sebastian brought a curry bun to the Queen and heard the audience react to the scene. Shame Ciel just walked off, he missed the Queen tasting his curry.

But then he appeared besides me, as if he'd never left. 'Is she…?'

Ash leaned forward to the Queen again, only to straighten himself moments later. He rose is voice now, so that everyone could hear what he was saying. 'Her Majesty asks me to tell you: "You were considerate enough to make this easy for even a child to eat, requiring no knife or fork. Treating all equally, rich and poor, adult and child, it embodies the ideal I strive for: a kind and noble country". Her Majesty is deeply moved by your kind attitude is treasuring our children… our future.'

Kind? Did Ash just seriously call Sebastian kind? That wasn't kind. That was math. That was knowing humans well enough to tell what the thing is that would win them over.

'Don't make me laugh!' someone in the audience yelled and at first I thought it was someone agreeing with me, but then I saw an Indian looking lady and I realised that this was the Mina Soma had been searching for. She was standing close to the stage, her hands on the table with the curry. 'How you flatter yourselves! Equality? The future? The queen of a wealthy country like this who'd never done any hard work has no place saying that!'

I frowned. She didn't look… normal. She looked like a demon. More demon than Sebastian looked. Wait… were her eyes glowing? What the hell was going on?

She smashed the curry on the ground and a tall man, who I thought was mister West, grabbed her from behind, trying to stop her. 'Mina, stop! You're in front of Her Majesty!' Then she pushed him and the strength that came with that blow proved my statement. There was something wrong. 'Out of my way!' she yelled, her eyes glowing red.

More people became like her, like they were swimming in a dark aura and their eyes were glowing that reddish colour.

And they all turned to Ciel. 'I smell it!' they screamed. 'The stench of the impure! Snuff out the unclean!'

Ah, yes. There was something very, very wrong here.

XxX

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><p><strong>End of chapter 31! Same as always: weekend's offer, update on Friday probably. Today's word is 'butterfly'. In Dutch 'butterfly' is 'vlinder'. I personally love that word. If pronounced right, it sounds so elegant. And in Japanese, it's chouchou, so that's a nice little fact for you right there.<strong>

**justaislinn: thanks, I'll try! And I actually have Spanish lessons, but I forgot that! Ha ha, I guess I suck at Spanish. Well, yeah, I do suck, my grades prove it.**

**Sliver Moon Fairie**: **I had guessed it was you, ha ha. And yeah, I kind of like creepy Sebastian too**, **but he does give me shivers sometimes!**

**promocat: Yeah, I think Clarissa was just too stubborn to admit it to herself. And I also think that she will keep being stubborn for the sake of it, so Ciel really has to have a lot of patience when it comes to her.**

**Aizawa Maiko: Ha ha, yeah, nothing's flawless.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey everyone, chapter 32 is here! I'm sorry I didn't update in a while and I probably won't update tomorrow: I'm at my grandma's house at the moment so yeah.**

**And WOW, 80 followers? Almost a hundred (bit too optimistic, but that's kind off my thing)! I'm thinking of doing something really special when I reach a hundred, but I'm not sure what to do. Probably update everyone day for a week of something.**

**Anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but my OC is all mine.**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 32**

Of course Sebastian was quickly at our side to defend his master, ignoring me in the process.

_Of course, _I thought to myself, _I forgot that he wanted me killed._

'Snuff out the unclean!' the people screamed, but they didn't attack me, which was surprising. Almost as if I wasn't a treat to them.

'The Queen!' Ciel said to Sebastian. 'We need to protect the Queen!'

I rolled my eyes. 'Does the Queen looks like she is in danger, Ciel? It's clearly you they're after!'

I noticed that some people started to run away, clearly everyone who wasn't influenced by… yeah, what was it, actually?

I wasn't sure how it was going to prove anything, but I reached towards one of the man men with my hand. The moment I touched the man, he grabbed me and his eyes seem to change back to normal. 'Wha—what just happened?' he asked me.

I had to be honest and tell him that I had absolutely no idea.

Wait… Did _I _just do that?

Everyone was fighting or defending themselves now. I just stood there and I didn't notice that Sebastian, Ciel _and _Ash were staring at me until I looked away from the scene. 'What?' I asked Sebastian and Ciel, clearly annoyed. 'We don't have time to stop and stare; we need to find a solution to this!'

'But—it seems as though we've already found it,' Ciel said, grabbing my hand, making me blush, which I hated to admit.

He pulled out my hand and pressed it against someone we was attacking him, making that person stop immediately, turning back to normal the moment he looked at me. 'What's going on?' he asked confused.

_Purification, my dear, _a clear woman voice said in my head, _only you have what it takes to purify this sick souls. It's a poison only you have the antidote to._

And I decided to listen to this voice for once, grabbing everyone I could without getting hurt, but that was easy, seeing how none of the people seemed to make a move towards me. I saw that Sebastian had gone up to defend the Queen from possibly crazy people, but I was too far away now to go there. I also thought that it was pointless to only protect the Queen while she was being protected good enough. No one was protecting the people that seemed so unnecessary.

And then, me and Ash shared a look and I saw a challenge in his eyes. Almost as if he was asking me to surprise him and the Queen. Then I looked at Sebastian, who was also looking at me while fighting the Indian girl from earlier. He opened his mouth in a way that I recognized. It looked like he was singing.

I gave him a look back. _What do you suggest? That I start singing? You seriously think that will help?_

He nodded. _Indeed, I do._

I sighed, gave in. He knew what he was doing most of the time, so trusting him in this situation didn't seem too dangerous. _What do you suggest? Taylor Swift?_

A vague smile appeared on his face. _I never get involved in modern-day pop music._

I sighed again and stared at Ash, who was staring at me now with a look that I started to understand better now. It looked like a father who was disappointed in his daughter.

I opened my mouth and sung the first thing I could think of. I just sang '_ah_' in a melody I had never heard before. It didn't even sound like a song. It sounded like a strange movie soundtrack. It sounded too fake.

Sebastian was right, of course, it did indeed work. The moment I opened my mouth and sang was also the moment people froze and started to look normal again. I felt like I was glowing, like I was the sun in this dark scene right now and I felt somewhat proud. Ha! And Ciel said that I was useless! Look at me, saving the Queen!

But then I looked at Ash and the look he gave me made me believe that I hadn't won the game. He looked at me like he was the winner.

And I was the loser that he won from.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The Funtom Company won, but I'm wasn't sure whether it was just the judges or the Queen's opinion as well. Before she left, Her Majesty asked me if I would have a conversation with her, which I had to say 'yes' to of course. She didn't touch me and didn't even really have a conversation which me. She just looked at me and told Ash to tell me that I was a beautiful little soul who she would love to see again sometime.

Before I left, Ash said something else. 'I congratulate you with your great accomplishments today, ' he told me, sounding strangely not-nice about it. 'And I have a advise for you. Pay close attention to your heart, Clarissa,' he then said. 'It might be gone before you even know it.' What he meant by that was a question that I couldn't ask, because he and the Queen had to leave before anything could happen. The only thing he did before closing the door, was giving me a letter for Ciel.

Great. Now I was the mailman. Just fantastic. That's all the thanks I get, I guess.

When I re-joined the group, I saw that Soma and Agni clearly had made up, which warmed my heart a little bit. I didn't have any – or if I counted Ciel as one, than 'much' – friends, but seeing such a friendship survive was truly heart-warming to see.

Soma was just talking to Ciel. 'Thank you,' he said as I reached the group. 'If I had never met you, I'd still be an ignorant, selfish brat. Starting today, I'll learn many things and tour all England—no, all the world, until I become a man second to nobody!' He sounded all serious again.

A small smile appeared on his face. He truly seemed to have learned something from Ciel. It was great to know that a wise kid such as Ciel could help other people see the light. Even though I was sure he would never admit it.

I saw that Agni and Sebastian were talking, but I couldn't hear their conversation.

But after a while, the group stood closer to them and we were able to hear what they were saying.

'Nationality is irrelevant,' Sebastian told Agni and I wished I knew the context. 'All places, all times, are essentially the same. And so is human nature.'

_All times are the same? _I thought. _Says the guy who didn't know how to use modern cooking utensils until hours ago! _But even though I thought that, I somewhat knew what he meant.

Agni seemed to do so too. 'Yes. Just as the evening sun over the Ganges River and the evening sun over the Thames are equally beautiful.'

Then Soma seemed to tear up a little bit, resulting in him grabbing both me and Ciel and bearing his face into Ciel's shoulder while crying. 'Mina!' he cried. 'Mina! Mina!'

Sad and broken or not, Ciel still did not want anyone to touch him. 'Let me go!' he said annoyed, sounding a bit angry, but not the usual level of anger.

Soma was crying way too hard to hear Ciel and the obviously didn't _want _to listen, but I didn't mind as much. Being hugged like this, I somehow felt… needed. And that was something That I didn't feel often.

I looked at Agni again, saw how he vaguely smiled. 'I'm very glad we came to England,' he told Sebastian and I was surprised that I could still hear what he was saying even though Soma was still crying in my ear. 'My prince and I both met ideal friends.'

'Friends?' Sebastian asked surprised. I couldn't tell if he was happy to hear that or not. I wish Sebastian was such an open book as Ciel was when it came to little things like this, but he wasn't. Sebastian always remained a mystery to me.

Ciel started to push Soma away now, trying, but Soma was ignoring that all together, letting me go in the process of not letting go of Ciel.

Just as I wanted to laugh I heard Sebastian say: 'You're the first person to ever say something like that to me.' And in that moment, he truly sounded old. And I realised that, if he were anything other than a demon, those words would have been very sad. I also realised that it was the same for me. But for me the fact remained that no one ever said it to me.

Ciel finally managed to push Soma away completely and that was when I realised that I had a letter for Ciel. 'Oh, yeah! Ciel,' I said, grabbing the letter out of the pocket of my jeans. 'The Queen asked me to give this to you.' I handed him the letter.

I was surprised that he opened it right on the spot. I thought that letters from the Queen were supposed to be secret. Well, it wasn't like anyone was here now. The parking lot of the studio was completely empty. Everyone had gone home already. Even the police had vanished after they realised that this case was a lost cause.

'Circus tickets?' he said softly. Then he frowned. 'Three. Three circus tickets.'

I wasn't sure why those three tickets bothered him so much, but they surely did.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

_POV change_

'Sebastian,' Ciel said as Clarissa was escorted away, since the Queen asked for her. 'Have you figured her out yet?'

'Well, yes and no,' Sebastian answered. He looked over at Agni and Soma, but those two clearly weren't paying attention to what they were saying. 'I'm quite certain now that her purifying skill is similar, if not better, than any angel's purifying skill. But she clearly is human. She could be some sort of hybrid, but that wouldn't explain the level of purification she did today. It also wouldn't explain the constant eye-colour change.'

'And Ash? He might be a lead in the case. I don't trust the fact that I seem to see him everywhere these days,' Ciel then said, looking at Agni and Soma as he spoke. Those two seemed to like him and his staff just fine now, but he wasn't sure what they would do if they started to suspect anything.

'I rather not investigate Ash Landers too closely if not ordered to, sir,' Sebastian said politely.

Ciel frowned. 'Puh. And why is that?'

A smile that didn't look sincere at all appeared on Sebastian's face. 'As you might have noticed; his eyes are purple. And I've learned to stay out of other people's contracts.'

Then Ciel thought of something that he hadn't thought of before. 'Could it be that Ash is in fact Clarissa's…'

'I managed to test her DNA and no, Ash Landers is not her father. I only found the DNA of her passed away father and mother. Her body is completely human.' He frowned. 'But I'm not sure about her soul, though.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I never thought that arriving at the mansion could ever feel so good. I almost ran towards the house, more tired than I had ever been and feeling more powerful than I had every felt. I wondered if demons felt this powerful all the time.

Of course, the house was locked when I reached the door and I had to wait until Ciel had reached the house, which took ages, certainly as he was using his walking stick again. Which did make me happy. But waiting in the cold for someone to open the door wasn't that much fun.

'Clarissa,' Ciel said as he reached me, Sebastian walking next to him. 'Did Ash or the Queen say anything to significance to you?'

I shook my head. 'No, they just thanked me. Well, Ash did say something about my he-' I stopped, for some reason I didn't want to talk about my heart to either Ciel or Sebastian. And certainly not both.

Ciel opened the door and I walked inside, running towards my room with my coat still on. I could almost I _feel _Sebastian's annoyance and I knew that he would've teased me again one way or the other if I had let him take my coat, so I was happy I escaped.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Of course, running away from a demon was pretty useless. I was wearing my pyjamas and laying on my bed reading a book I stole from Ciel's library when he came in, looking surprisingly serious.

'Yo, Seb,' I said, trying to pretend like I wasn't influenced by his presence at all. 'What's up?'

He took my words literal, I thought it was to annoy me, but I wasn't quite sure. 'I'm pretty sure the sky is what's up, my Lady,' he answered, walking up to me and standing still next to my bed. I looked at the chair that was standing beside him for a second, confused as of why he did not sit down.

'Funny,' I then said, because I realised that I hadn't reacted to his answer yet. 'You should stop this whole demon-business and go into stand-up comedy.'

Sebastian laughed and finally did sit down on the chair. 'I don't think so,' he told me frankly. 'Some of my humour is a bit dated.'

'_That _old, huh?' I said, remembering that he did not seem to like to talk about his age. He knew more than enough of my weak spots, so I didn't feel guilty for using his.

Sebastian's face become flat, almost angry, but he didn't say anything. He just looked at me. Then his hand went to my face, touching my cheek as if he was scared I would disappear if he pressed too hard. Then Sebastian finally opened his mouth. 'I really should just kill you, you know.'

Those words were clearly to scare me, but they didn't. I'd known for a very long time that Sebastian wanted me dead. 'Well, sucks for you buddy,' I said, 'because your master ordered you to take care of me, didn't he?'

'Yes,' Sebastian admitted. 'But his orders aren't binding, you know. I just obey them because that's what demons stand for. A meal that was required with a false contract never ends well. For the contractor nor for the demon.'

'Oh,' I said, surprisingly not interested. I didn't want to hear dark stories now. I wanted to read this stupid love roman and go to sleep with pictures of handsome men in my head. Everyone,_ anyone, _but Sebastian.

Sebastian's hand was in my hear now, pulling one strand of hair towards his face. He kissed my hair and said: 'I should just kill you. Right now. No mystery to be solved. No questions to be answered. Just the end and the end only.' He narrowed his eyes. 'But with killing you, there might be a chance that I'm also killing a main clue in young master's revenge. And let's just say that that would literally spoil my dinner.'

'Funny,' I said, wishing that he would just release my hair.

Which he did. But only so he could grab my chin and pull my face towards his. 'What _are _you, my Lady?' he asked, but the strange tone of respect in his voice made me feel like it was meant to be a compliment.

'I'm just me,' I answered, my voice barely a whisper. 'I'm Clarissa.'

'Hmm, that's not the answer I wanted to hear,' he said, his eyes glowing in the dark room. The only light came from the small light on the table next to my bed.

'Well, I'm sorry my answer was disappointing,' I said, not meaning it at all.

'No, you're not,' Sebastian reacted almost immediately. 'But quite frankly, my dear, I'm pretty sure you don't give a damn.'

That sounded familiar somehow, but I wasn't sure why. But that wasn't the only thing that bothered me. 'Did you just call me 'dear'?'

'Yes,' he said, still holding my chin. 'I did. Do you have a problem with that?'

Yes, I did, but I was pretty sure that if I told him that he would only love to call me that more, so I just shrugged. 'Not really, no. But it does bother me when you use it like that.'

Sebastian pulled up on eyebrow. Damn, that was sexy! I had remind myself that I wasn't allowed to love this demon. Even if I already did. I should just stop. Now. 'Use it like what?' he asked.

I shook my head, trying to make sense while pretending to not feel my heart beating fast in my chest. 'Like you don't mean it. We both now you would never call me 'my dear' in any sincere way.' My hands shook, wanted to touch him so badly that it hurt.

The smile on Sebastian's face looked way to tempting for its own good. 'Hmm, maybe that's true.' He leaned forward, one hand in my neck, the other on my cheek now. He talked against my cheek as he said: 'But wouldn't you be bothered by it if it _was _sincere?'

I didn't answer. My brain and heart were telling me to turn my head slightly, because that would mean that the lips that were now caressing my cheek would end up on my mouth. And I knew that Sebastian wanted me to do exactly that. He wanted _me _to kiss _him_, making it impossible for me to blame him, even if it was his fault for tempting me. I tried to fight my reflexes, tried to fight my desire. Tried to fight his amazing seducing skills. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I turned my head and his lips met mine.

I was surprised how surprised Sebastian felt under my lips, as if this wasn't the outcome he'd predicted. I started to wonder if it was.

But then Sebastian started to kiss me for real, pulling me closer as if he wanted to pull me out of the bed. I was surprised how different this kiss was, almost as if I was a flower which bloomed in his arms, but was also destroyed the moment it bloomed. This demon was full of a long life of mysteries and destruction. And I never thought such a combination would feel like _this._

But then he pushed me off him with a strength that was almost scary. 'No,' he just said. His eyes were glowing hungry now, but it looked different hungry. Not the kind of hungry look he showed Ciel sometimes. 'No.'

I wasn't sure how to look. Or _where _to look. So I just looked at my hands, waiting for him to leave. When I looked up to see if he was still there, I saw that he was already gone.

And I started to wonder if maybe he hadn't been there to begin with.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**The end! Book of Circus-arc is starting soon! Wooh! I'm exited! I'm not sure if I will do the Book of Muder arc. I'm not sure what I've said before, if I've even said anything about it, but I do like the murder arc and wish I could do it, but if it doesn't fit into the story than it doesn't fit. So yeah.**

**Okay, today's word is: 'strawberry' (I couldn't think of anything else :s). In Dutch it's 'aardbei' and in Japanese, it's 'ichigo' (bet you all knew that already, but still).**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: ha ha, thanks! And yeah, I guess that's true.**

**PyrroLou: Hallo, landgenoot! (okay, it's awkward writing in Dutch while you write in English…) But anyway, thanks! I didn't want Clarissa to be just a witness, I wanted her to be her own thing in the story. And the tv show was a modern-day change that was pretty easy to come up with, ha ha!**

**Aizawa Maiko: Thank you! I always look forward to writing the next chapter as well! (that sounds like bad English but yeah)**

**promocat: Thanks! Love writing it as well XD More of that will be in the story from now on, but not much in this chapter :/**

**Thanks for reading/reviewing and hope to see you next time!**

**(well, not actually ****_see _****you, but you know what I mean)**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey, everyone! So, I found some time to write today! Yay!**

**And I bought three books today. Now I'm broke. Again. And sorry for the typos. Again. And sorry for the fact that this chapter is a bit short.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy chapter 33!**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own my OC.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 33**

I was happy that I didn't dream that night. I was happy that I somehow managed to keep myself from thinking. But in the morning, my brain started to work again.

Tomorrow me, Sebastian and Ciel would go to a traveling circus to investigate, since there had been mysterious child disappearing in all the cities the circus had visited. Ciel said that we would visit the Undertaker first, but he also said that he didn't feel like taking action today, most certainly because the circus hadn't arrived yet.

I was just making homework when I realised that Christmas-season was already over. How did that happen? I was losing the idea of time. I wasn't even sure if school had already started or not. It didn't seem to be important anymore. I wasn't even sure who was paying for my school now.

Sebastian didn't ignore me more than usual and he didn't act any different. I had to be honest and say that that did bother me, mostly because I was not acting normally. I was acting like a fool, mumbling and stuttering while dropping everything in my hands when I saw or talk to him.

I wasn't sure what that kiss that meant, nor whose fault it had been (and yes, it had definitely been a _fault_), but I knew now that Sebastian wasn't planning on killing me. Yet. I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or not, though.

'Clarissa?' Mei-Rin said when she came into my room to bring me my lunch. 'Something's bothering you, yes?'

I smiled vaguely and shook my head. 'No, it's nothing, Mei-Rin,' I answered. 'But thanks for asking. It's always nice to find out that someone actually cares.'

'Y-young master cares, too, yes!' she said, clearly believing that.

I did not, though. 'Well, if you say so,' I said, clearly not convinced. Talking with Mei-Rin always seemed pointless. And Finnian and Baldroy weren't bugging me enough, so I hadn't had many conversations with them either. But I did like the three. Not because they were awful at their jobs or because they were always cheerful, but because they had such a strong believe and trust in their master.

Then my eye fell on a magazine that Mei-Rin had brought in with my lunch. 'What's this?' I asked her, frowning.

'Y-young master asked me to bring this to your room,' she said, playing nervously with her hands. 'A-and if that's everything, I will leave for now, yes!' She ran out of the room, clearly avoiding my reaction to whatever the magazine was going to reveal.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I was now actually thankful for the whole evil curry incident, because the magazine didn't have the picture that was taken of me and Sebastian in it. But there was an article about me.

_Ciel Phantomhive's new addition to the Funtom Family? Clarissa Lane calms angry crowd down with her voice._

I almost laugh. Of course that was what it looked like for the normal people. Of course they thought I just calmed those 'angry' people down with my voice. Even I wasn't sure what had happened, but I was pretty sure that that wasn't it.

'It wasn't a trap for Ciel, you know,' the demon said, standing in front of my desk all of the sudden.

I almost screamed, but I managed to control myself. 'What are you doing here?' I asked, sounding only a bit angry. Really not impressive.

Sebastian ignored me. 'You said yesterday that those people had been a trap for Ciel, but I'm pretty sure that it was a test.' He looked at me with burning red eyes. 'A test for _you_.'

I laughed, not even sure why I was laughing. 'Are you serious? No one is interested in me—'

'Ash is interested in you,' Sebastian interrupted. 'So much that it almost frightens me. And _nothing _frightens me.'

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'Nothing?' I repeated, not believing him. 'Everyone is scared of something, Sebastian. You are old and wise enough to at least know _that_.'

'I'm also wise enough to know that the only fear is fear itself.' A small smile appeared on his face. 'And I'm feared by too many to find fear something scary.'

'There you go again, with your wise words that only sound wise until you start to think about what you actually said. I _know _you're afraid of something, Sebastian. Everyone is scared of something. Even fear itself most fear the moment no one fears him anymore. Even demons have to be scared of the light sometimes. So, what is your fear?'

Now Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'Did you really think it was that easy to make me talk? I won't tell you my weak spots, Clarissa. Even though I don't think you're a danger to me now, I like to keep it that way. Otherwise, I'd have to kill you and that would be a shame.' He put his hands on my desk and leaned forward, breathing his marvellous breath into my face. 'Seeing as though death would ruin that pretty blush on your face.'

I clenched my hands into fists, but didn't look away. I just sat there, waiting for him to move away from me. Which he didn't. Well, I wasn't going to move either. I would show him that I wasn't influenced by his presence at all. I would show him that _I _had the upper hand here. 'Oh? And I thought you liked to see death. Isn't that kind of a demon-thing? Hugging corpses and all that?'

Sebastian laughed, and again his breath stroke down on my face, making me want to close my eyes and breath his scent in deeply. Why was everything about this demon attractive? He really was a seducer, there was no escape. 'I'm not sure what you've heard about demons, but I'm pretty sure it's wrong.'

Still fighting the urge to breathe in his scent like some strange fangirl-dog, I said: 'Maybe it is. But what're you going to do about that?'

'Hmm,' he said softly, leaning closer to me. Our foreheads were almost touching now and I realised that he was in control; powering over me like a tiger while I was the little monkey who tried to escape.

Okay, did I just call myself a monkey?

'You smell nice,' he said and I wasn't sure if he was teasing me or not. I doubted that Sebastian would ever compliment me seriously, but he did sound sincere.

And those words made me finally close my eyes. Not only because of his scent and sweet words, but also because his face was so beautiful that it hurt. 'You do, too.'

'Clarissa,' he said softly, tempting me to open my eyes again, but I just kept them close, not wanting to look him into the eye. 'I'm hungry.'

This made me frown and I had to keep myself from opening my eyes. 'Hungry? Than feed off of someone. It's not like you cannot.' Well, he couldn't feed off of me. Which was a big, _big, _plus right now. Whatever I was feeling right now was something_ I_ didn't even want to know.

I felt that one hand pushed my hair away from my neck and I felt his breath move from my eyes to my forehead as he spoke. 'Demons lie, Clarissa. It's not a sin for a sinful creature such as me. I'm quite honest about the fact that I will lie when it suits me. I will not lie to my master, but I will lie to every stupid mortal idiot that is trying to 'save' my dinner.'

'So you don't feed off of people's emotions?' I asked, confused now.

He laughed in my ear. 'Never said that I didn't.' Than he pulled away, standing straight again. 'And I was right.'

I frowned. 'Right about what?'

A small smile appeared on his face. 'You do like me quite a bit.'

My eyebrows rose and I almost laughed at him. Then I realised that he was, of course, right. But that didn't mean that I wasn't going to deny it. 'What on earth gave you that ludicrous idea?' I asked him.

'You're pulse elevated,' he told me. 'And I've learned that a human's body gets a different smell whenever they're attracted to someone. A smell that humans can't detect, of course.' The smile on his face was so innocent that I wish I could just disappear. 'It's a smell I'm quite familiar with, though.'

I blushed and looked away, angry. 'And why did you want to know?' I asked him, suddenly so angry that I wished I was strong enough to hurt him. But I knew I wasn't. 'What could you get out of such knowlegde?'

Sebastian waited a while before he answered. 'Because as long as you even feel slightly attracted towards me, I have to upper hand,' he said, turning around, clearly planning to leave the room in human speed. 'Because there's no way I'll ever fall in love with a mere human.' And then he was gone.

I considered throwing my lunch on the ground out of anger, but I was quite hungry and was almost quite certain that either I or Mei-Rin had to clean it up, so I just began to eat.

Damn that damn demon and his seductive skills.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'It's very convenient that Sir Arthur is out,' Ciel said as he observed me and Sebastian.

Abberline didn't agree with that statement. 'Please, stop!' he said nervously yet determined. 'If the Commissioner finds out—'

'Just make sure he doesn't, then,' Ciel reacted before Abberline could even finish.

I wasn't entirely sure why Ciel had taken me with him to Scotland Yard, but it was clear that I was needed. Sebastian didn't even know how the computer database worked. So if I hadn't come along looking for the documents about the missing children would have been difficult. Though I had to admit that I would've worked faster if Sebastian hadn't stand so close behind me. Seriously, did he _have_ to be this close?

'Listen to me!' Abberline said. He had tried to pull me away from the computer, but Sebastian had kept him away. The moment he realised actions weren't going to work, he had started using words. And he had been talkiong ever since. That didn't help either. 'This is the third floor! How did you get in here?!'

I cracked a smile and gave the open window in the room a quick glance. Abberline really was stupid when it came to stuff like this.

'Well, Clarissa?' Ciel said impatient, ignoring Abberline's question. 'Are you done?'

'Almost done,' I told him, not looking away from the computer screen. 'Okay, so, no bodies have been found that match the missing children's reports,' I told him, after I had searched for the last name in the database.

Ciel didn't look surprised. 'We'll leave after you've printed the data. We might as well borrow the photos.' He walked up to me.

I thought he would say that. Good thing I had copied all the children's profiles into a different file that I could easily print.

'You can't do that!' Abberline said, waving his hands like an idiot.

'If you get found out, just say that I was here,' Ciel said, clearly only saying that to shut him up.

Abberline wasn't _that_ stupid, though. 'That'd get me in even _more _trouble!' he screamed, sounding truly scared.

I laughed as I clicked on the 'print' option. _You think? _I thought sarcastically, almost saying it out loud.

Ciel was looking at the screen now, pointing Sebastian in the direction of the printer, where pages full of data was coming out now. 'Listen… Hmm, Underline, isn't it?'

I held in a laugh. Nope, that wasn't it. And I bet Ciel knew that that wasn't it. Maybe he just liekd to tease the poor guy. Even though Ciel did not seem like that kind of boy, he _was _sort of raised by a demon, so it wouldn't be surprising.

'It's Abberline!' Abberline corrected upset.

Sebastian handed Ciel the information while he spoke. 'You've been a great help. We appreciate your cooperation.' While he looked at the files in his hands, Sebastian walked up to Abberline and handed him something. Money, I guessed.

That was something that Abberline didn't appreciate. He grabbed Sebastian's hand. 'I'm not for sale!' he told him. 'I just want to do whatever it takes to bring those children home!'

Ciel tapped on my shoulder to tell me to stand up, which I did. Ciel walked passed Abberline, towards the door, as he said: '"Whatever it takes," eh? Very flexible of you – you have a bright future ahead of you.' Sebastian followed Ciel and I came last, walking slightly faster to now fall behind. 'Hurry and get yourself promoted, Abberline.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'So they're still being treated as missing persons,' I said as we sat in the car, Sebastian driving.

'By respectable society, perhaps,' Ciel said, 'but someone in the underworld may have already disposed of them.'

I'd been with Ciel long enough to know what that meant. 'So we will be visiting the Undertaker again?'

'Indeed,' Ciel answered. 'I'd really rather not, but needs must.'

I laughed. 'Yeah, he _is _a strange fellow, that man. And I really have no idea how old he is. He looked sort of old… but then again he doesn't have wrinkles…'

Ciel lay his walking stick on his lap and crossed his arms. 'I wouldn't dwell on that man all too much.'

I shrugged. 'Why not? It's not like I have that much to think about these days.'

Ciel sighed. 'You have, though.'

I looked at him confused.

He rolled his eye. 'Ash Landers. Drossel Keinz. Your father. Your mother. Your purple eyes. They are all small mysteries had haven't been solved yet. Not completely, at least.' He frowned. 'And I'm starting to think that your mysteries might be important mysteries for me as well.'

I shivered, but it wasn't the cold weather that caused that.

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><p>XxX<p>

'They're nowhere.'

'Huh?' me, Ciel and Sebastian said in unison.

The Undertaker was sitting behind his table, that strange smile on his face and that weird tone in his voice as he spoke. 'None of them were my customers and there aren't any rumours, either.'

'In other words,' Ciel said slowly, 'you don't know a thing about this?'

The Undertaker didn't seem to agree with that. 'I beg to differ,' he said. 'I know that I _don't _know.'

Well, that sounded needlessly deep. Even though I knew he didn't meant it that way, but it certainly did sound that way.

'True,' Sebastian said, 'if _you _don't know, that would mean no one in the underworld killed them.'

'If their bodies haven't been found in either circle, they're still alive,' I finally said, putting the last pieces together.

Ciel closed his eyes for a second before he responded. 'If that's the case, I suppose our only choice is to personally investigate that circus.' He grabbed his walking stick, which he had put against the table, and started to walk towards the exit. 'We'll go there straightaway, Sebastian. Undertaker, contact me if you hear anything.'

I guess I should've been hurt because he didn't mention me, but I was way too used to care.

But before we could reach the exit, the Undertaker opened his mouth again. 'My Lord…' he said, making all three of us turn around to look at him. 'Each of us only gets one soul. Be sure to take good care of yours.'

I shivered. The way he said it didn't sound trustworthy at all.

'I know that,' Ciel said, clearly not really listening and not really caring. He walked out of the shop then and Sebastian followed, leaving only me to hear the last words that the Undertaker said.

'Do you really?'

I shivered again. _No, _I thought, _he does not. But can you honestly blame him?_

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of chapter 33! Today's word is 'apple'. Dutch word for apple is 'appel' (looks and sounds pretty much the same, only a bit different) and the Japanese word was 'ringo' I thought.**

**They are going to the circus! YEAH! I loved the circus-arc in the manga as well as the anime.**

**Silver Moon Fairie: thanks for finding a song, but the links doesn't work for some reason :(**

**promocat: Yeah, that's true. But they both don't really have a choice gna gna.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey, guys! Sorry for not updating on Friday/Saturday; I had parties and was very, very tired. I'm still tired, so if this chapter is full of typos then again: sorry. Also, people have told me how this story does not work in modern day setting and yeah, I can see where they are coming from. But hey, it's my story and you don't have to read it if you don't like it. With all that out of the way, let's start the chapter.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters. But I do own my OC.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 34**

'Argh, we're like the only people over ten and under thirty here,' I whined as we stood in line before the entrance of the circus tent. I had never seen a travelling circus before, mostly because there weren't many left and I was surprised that they actually had the acts _inside _a tent. I thought that all the circus stuff had moved to theatres, but apparently not.

I had spoken the truth. There were only children with their parents, no teenagers to be found. Well, I guess it's not surprising, but I did feel kind of awkward.

Something I said was supposedly funny, because Sebastian chuckled. 'What?' I asked him. 'What's so funny?'

'Under thirty,' was the only thing he said and I realised that he meant that he was way over thirty.

'Well, maybe I was just talking about Ciel and I,' I said cynically, rolling my eyes at him. I tried to hide the fact that his age kind of scared me.

'No, you did not,' Sebastian said, as if he had read my thoughts. 'You're just afraid because I'm older than everyone in this line combined.'

I shivered, but repressed all the other feelings that were coming up. '_That _old, huh?' I said, knowing that I'd said that before.

Sebastian's smile faded and his expression became hard as stone. He didn't react.

Ciel did, though. 'Can you two behave for once? We're in the middle of an investigation. Flirt in your own time.' He sounded kind of possessive, which I didn't understand, but it _did _sound funny.

'That reminds me,' I began, ignoring the flirt-comment that Ciel had made. 'Was there once a rumour about you that you _didn't _like?'

Sebastian got the amused smile back and Ciel looked as if the Undertaker had assaulted him again. This made me curious. 'What? What was the rumour?' Dang, why that I missed it? I didn't care about Ciel, so I never paid attention to the rumours.

'A few years back a lot of people thought a strange man suddenly living with this rich kid was kind of odd. So a certain theory arose,' Sebastian explained as we stepped closer to the entrance, still waiting in line. Geez, the line was going slow.

'Oh?' I said, finally enjoying myself in the cold winter night in the line of a circus that I didn't even want to go to. 'And what was that?'

'That me and my master were romantically involved,' Sebastian finally said, making Ciel cringe and me laugh.

'Are you serious?' I asked, still laughing. I simply could not believe it. 'You and Ciel?' I laughed again, but then suddenly I stopped. 'Well, it _does _sort of makes sense. I mean, you _do _look at Ciel like he's good enough to eat. People just don't understand that the way you look isn't lust, but literally hunger.'

I only realised that I had said something I shouldn't when Sebastian looked at me with a strange look and Ciel stamped his walking stick on my foot.

'Ouch!' I said, looking at Ciel, who looked surprisingly angry.

'Don't talk about such things in public,' he said furious, as if he would've torn me apart of it wasn't of the huge amount of witnesses.

'Sorry,' I said after a while, taking another step forward when the line moved.

We reached the entrance and Sebastian showed the man in the entrance our tickets. Finally we could enter the tent, which was a lot warmer than the cold outside.

The inside of the tent was pretty cool and grand. It didn't even look like a tent. It could just as well have been a theatre. As we walked up to our places, one of the higher rows and one of the last rows, Sebastian said: 'It's quite elaborate'. I had to agree with him on that.

'Yes,' Ciel said, not really sounding impressed. As he handed Sebastian his hat and coat he added: 'But no more so than any other circus.'

Well, I had never been to a circus before, so I wouldn't know. I just kept my mouth shut.

I was the last to sit down, next to Sebastian, who was still standing, clearly waiting for me to hand him my coat. I just shook my head and sat down, keeping my coat myself. I didn't think I could keep myself from sniffing my coat if Sebastian had held it, because I knew his smell stayed in almost everything he touched. And even though his scent was wonderful, I didn't want Sebastian to see me sniffing my coat.

It took quite a while for everyone to sit down. Then the lights suddenly went out and there was a silence that was almost scary.

As if Sebastian could smell my fear, he said: 'Do you want me to hold your hand, scaredy cat?' His voice sounded way to amused.

'Of course not,' I told him, hoping that Ciel hadn't hear me or him. Which he of course had, but a girl could always hope.

Then there was a spotlight, so sudden that I almost screamed of surprise. There was a young man standing in the spotlight, in the middle of the stage. He had orange like hair and wore a typical circus-outfit. The thing I noticed though was that one hand was a bit too freaky for my liking. Was that a skeleton-hand?

'Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls!' he then said loudly and I heard that his voice had a strange sort of accent. What was it? I wasn't sure. Maybe Scottish or something. 'Welcome to Noah's Ark Circus!' He juggled with the coloured balls he had in his hand and dropped them all on his head, making all the children in the audience laugh and making all the fathers in the audience face-palm. 'My name is Joker. Please to meet 'ee!' He grabbed one of the balls before it could fall on the ground and used the strange skeleton-like hand to make it disappear, making the audience cheer.

I only knew what it was when Ciel named it. 'A prosthesis?' he said softly, clearly only talking to Sebastian. I was only lucky enough to pick it up.

I then noticed that Sebastian had a strange look in his eyes and that he wasn't smiling. The corners of his mouth were pointing down, making me frown and wonder what was wrong. But I didn't ask.

The man with the strange orange hair, 'Joker', went to talking. 'Tonight you'll see performances to stun and amaze 'ee!' More spotlights went on, revealing more circus-members who had been standing there. For how long, I wasn't sure, but they all looked quite basic. Well, one woman was dressed quite… well, let's just say that I could see more of her skin than I wanted to see.

Well, at least now the dads were also having fun.

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><p>XxX<p>

The circus acts weren't any different than I had expected, but they were interesting to some degree. There was a fire-breathing man called Jumbo, who was truly gigantic. I wondered if he could walk indoors freely. Well, I guess you didn't have to worry about things like that when you lived in tents, but hey, a girl can wonder. After Jumbo you had trapeze artist, who looked like children but were clearly older. Maybe those two and Jumbo had a growing disorder, making one way too big and two way too small. Next up was a knife-thrower called Dagger. Really, what was up with these nicknames? Those two trapeze artist were called Peter and Wendy, but I wasn't sure why they all had such strange names. What, were their real names a secret?

The one after 'Dagger' was to me the most impressive, because he was surrounded by at least twenty snakes and they all seemed to obey him. A serpent-man, called Snake. Well geez, I wonder how they came up with that name.

This was the moment that Ciel was bored enough to open his mouth. 'Their acts are fairly standard,' he said.

'Yes,' Sebastian agreed. 'And They don't seem to be forcing the children to perform.'

Oh yeah, we were here for the children. I kind of forgot. But I thought these circus-artists looked innocent enough. Okay, the lady with the leather outfit was a bit strange for a children's circus, but hey, I wasn't judging.

Sebastian and Ciel were silent after that, but I wasn't. 'Maybe they force the children to do the chores. You know, cook and knit and stuff.'

'Yes, that's a possibility,' Ciel admitted. I was happier than I should be that he didn't just ignore me.

After the Snake-guy there was a tightrope walker, who the Joker called 'Doll'. She was truly beautiful and dressed in a white, Lolita-like outfit, but I couldn't help but noticed that her left eye was covered with her fake white wig. After I knew what was wrong with Ciel's eyes, I could never look normally at eyes again.

But she truly was amazing. Her skills on that rope were fascinating, even Ciel looked at it with amazed eyes.

The woman in the revealing outfit, whose name apparently was 'Beast', was the last one and she performed together with the tiger Betty. I looked over at Sebastian. 'Look, Seb, it's a kitty!' I said as a joke. He just looked at me for like a second before looking back at the tiger.

Joker didn't stop talking after introducing the tiger and Beast though. 'We'd love some audience participation for this act— Are there any volentee—'

Sebastian shot up, standing there like he had every right to stand.

'Oh!' Joker said, noticing Sebastian almost immediately. Well, we were sitting in the middle, so I guess that wasn't strange. 'This gent in the tailcoat sure looks eager! Please come up to the stage!'

Everyone cheered while I face-palmed and Ciel looked surprised. Really now, was he going to let Sebastian walk towards the stage? Did he think that Sebastian and Betty were a good combination?

Sebastian began to walk down to the stage while Ciel started to smile, making me frown. 'Are you going to let him?' I asked confused.

'Of course,' he said, sounding arrogant while crossing his arms.

Oh gosh. Ciel didn't get it. 'Um, Ciel—'

'Now,' Joker said, 'if you'll just lie down here—'

Sebastian walked passed the guy, completely ignoring him in the process.

Joker and Beast just witnessed as Sebastian walked up to Betty and started to pet her. 'Ah!' he said, sounding almost in love, 'what a lovely round eyes you have.'

I busted out laughing while everyone in the audience started to ask questions, not understanding what was going on.

That was the moment Ciel got it. 'Oh, blast!' he said softly. 'Tiger are cats!'

I just left harder, making me also one of the centres of attention.

Sebastian just started to talk to the tiger and the microphones that were on stage picked up on the sound, making everyone able to witness the awkwardness. 'I've never seen such vivid stripes! They're adorable. Oh dear, your claws have gotten a bit too long... we'll have to groom them.'

Every word he said just made me laugh harder. Ciel face-palmed, not knowing what to do know. 'Want me to go and get him?' I asked Ciel still laughing.

'Please!' he said, clearly not believing this was actually happening.

'And your paw pads are full and plump. Very attractive!' Sebastian said as I ran down the stairs and climbed up the stage. Now that I was here I wasn't really sure what to do. I didn't really want to get close to the tiger. So I walked up to Joker and said: 'He has a cat fetish, excuse me—'

The tiger opened his mouth and consumed Sebastian's head in an attempt to eat it. Of course, it didn't really fit, but while the audience started to scream I just laughed. This couldn't hurt Sebastian. I started to feel like nothing could.

Then, finally, Beast came in action, but not really in a way that was legal. She took her whip swung it toward Betty. 'Betty, let him go!' she ordered.

But the whip didn't hit Betty. Sebastian grabbed the it before it could hit him, pulling his head out of Betty's mouth in the process. 'She hasn't done anything wrong,' he said. 'I was so overcome by her charm that I behaved rudely, that's all. Also, indiscriminate whipping isn't enough to train her properly.'

Then Betty attacked his head again, making the audience scream once more.

Beast wanted to interrupt again, but I just smiled and said: 'Let me handle this.' Because I did not want to bring this circus into trouble because Sebastian couldn't control himself. 'Ladies and gentlemen!' I screamed. 'This was the last act: the man who can survive the tiger!' I knew it didn't make any sense, but I also knew that people would believe anything that explained a strange situation better than just the word 'magic'. Making them believe this was a trick would make it less interesting. Humans were stupid like that.

'Goodness,' Sebastian said, 'aren't you a tomboy, my dear?'

I held back my laugh while I talked: 'Now, watch us as we tame the tiger, making him release the man without touching him!' I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to fix that, but hey, I used to be pretty good with birds. I just stared at them and they would come flying towards me. So I hoped that that would apply to the tiger as well. And if not, then it was Sebastian's problem.

But the look he gave me told me that he knew I could do it. And that believe gave me strength, strangely enough.

I walked towards to tiger, slowly, scared, while looking into its – frankly beautiful, Sebastian was right – eyes. It seemed to look back, almost seemed to recognize me, and Betty closed her eyes, allowing me to put my hand on top of her head. 'Let him go, Betty,' I asked politely, almost as if I was hushing her to sleep. 'Let the man go, Betty. He just loves you, that's all.' Then I suddenly felt a strange feeling, as if the tiger tried to answer my words. 'You don't have anyone that loves you, do you?' I asked her, receiving no real answer. 'Poor girl.'

Betty let go of Sebastian, walked up to me and allowed me to hug her. While the audience cheered I looked at Sebastian.

And even though he had a really big cat right next to him, he did not look happy at all.

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><p>XxX<p>

'I didn't tell you to go _that _far!' Ciel said to both me and Sebastian as we walked out of the theatre. People were smiling at us as we walked, children pointed at us and mothers kept their children away from us, probably thinking that we were a bunch of criminals. Well, hopefully no one had recognized us. I didn't want to see my face in another magazine ever again.

'My apologies, my Lord,' Sebastian said, smiling brightly. He seemed to have found his good mood back and I still was unsure why he'd looked at me that way on stage. 'I've lived many years, but cats are such whimsical creatures, I still can't quite reach their moods.'

_Whimsical? _I almost laughed, but I held it in, because I didn't want to make Ciel any angrier than he already was.

'What was the point of attracting unnecessary attention—' Ciel sneezed, which made him even more angry. 'You know I'm allergic to cats!' he said. 'Stay far back, you two!'

Immediately obeying, me and Sebastian both stopped walking, giving Ciel some distance. I had to admit he wasn't very fast with his walking stick.

'Oh, there 'ee be!' I heard someone scream. 'You there, man in the tailcoat and girl with the beautiful hair!'

We turned around, seeing Joker running towards us. We had escaped him when he and the other circus-members tried to bring Betty back to her cage, but it seemed that he had found us again. 'I'm so sorry about what happened, sir.' Then he looked at me. 'And I want to thank you for saving our circus. You have no idea how much is means to us.'

Sebastian ignored that last part. 'No, please, I apologize,' Sebastian said, acting most befittingly.

'Gave me a scare,' Joker said, 'traipsing right up to the tiger like that! Are you all right?' Sebastian didn't answer, he looked over at Ciel. I decided to not do that so that Joker's attention would stay on us. 'We have a doctor on staff. Better let him have a look at 'ee, I reckon,' Joker went on. 'Please, come on back.' He then looked at me again. 'I also have something I wanted to ask the young lady.'

Ciel must have given Sebastian some sort of sigh, because Sebastian smiled his 'look at me, I'm such an angel'-smile and said: 'I don't mind if I do.'

I decided to go along with the plan. 'Me too, you can ask me anything.' Well, not literally anything, but I think he understood at least that.

Joker smiled. 'Great! Than you can follow me to the back, that's where the other tents are,' he explained as he turned around and started to walk.

I began to follow him when Sebastian grabbed my arm. 'Stay close to me, you understand? Don't wander out of my sight.' His face became cold and his voice sounded harsh when he said: 'I'm under no obligation to save you if you _do _wander out of my sight and get into trouble. Do you understand?'

The grip he hand on my arms hurt, but I didn't say anything, I just stared back into those red eyes, trying to understand what I had done wrong. 'Yes, I understand,' I said, sounding way more scared of him than I thought I was.

'Good,' he said, letting of my arm. 'Let's go, then.'

I sighed, slapped myself in the face to keep myself in check and followed Joker, trying to forget that the only protection I had was a demon who would love to have see me dead.

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of chapter 34! Hope you guys liked it! I had a pretty hard time writing this and I'm not all too happy about how it came out either. So, yeah. Today's word is… light. Light in Dutch is 'licht' and in Japanese it's 'hikari'. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.**

**Silver Moon Farie: I've listened to it: love it! And you're right, it does sort of fit.**

**PyrroLou: Yeah, well, I hope you'll like what I've planned for her!**

**promocat: Indeed, he can't take care of something that isn't in his care anymore. That sounded strange, but I hope you understand what I mean.**

**AppleTreeString: I understand everything you're saying and even think you're right. She doesn't have anything special except her powers and I just wrote her like I wanted her to, without any special quirks or anything. I do think that had something to do with the fact that her father didn't give her any room to become her own person and I also think she will become more and more herself as she opens up to everyone in the Phantomhive estate, but if this story isn't working for you, I understand and apologize.**

**Anyway, see you guys in a week or so. Also, it's my birthday this Wednesday, so yay! 'Cause, you know, making homework on your birthday is fantastic.**

**Love you guys and thanks for reading, reviewing and following and favouriting (if that's a word). Bye bye!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hello everyone! I'm updating today: because I'm sick! (not sure if that's a happy thing or not, oh well). It's getting harder and harder to keep Sebastian faithful to his character while also being attracted to a stubborn, really annoying human girl who only gets in his way. So yeah, there went my energy (not sure if you can even say that in English, 'cause it's kind of a Dutch way of saying that I put most of my energy in keeping Sebastian as close to his original character as possible. But yeah, I'm sick, so even if it sounded weird: you could forgive me this once).**

**Okay, I've become confusing. Let's just stop here.**

**Btw I don't own Kuroshitsuji. Does that surprise you?**

**Enjoy chapter 35!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 35**

We walked to the back of the circus tent, where all the other, much smaller and frankly kind of gross and smelly, tents were stalled. We walked passed cages full of animals, performers and all kind of weirdoes that looked so out of place here that I had no idea why they were her in the first place.

'Right this way,' Joker said as he lead us through the people and the tents. Sorry it's so filthy.'

When me nor Sebastian reacted, Joker decided to shut up. A wise decision. While we walked towards the less crowded part of the circus camp, Sebastian opened his mouth, but talked just loud enough for me to hear him; making Joker unable to. 'You know, you lied back there.'

'I'm sorry?' I said, pulling up an eyebrow. Well, at least I had spoken with two words. He should be proud, because normally I would just have said 'huh?'.

A small amused smile was playing on Sebastian's lips when he said: 'Well, you told the audience that you were going to calm the tiger down without touching her, but you did – in fact – touch her.'

I rolled my eyes and gave him a little push. 'Geez, Sebastian. Stop nit-picking. I was only trying to save your ass.'

He looked at me with a dangerous look clearly to scare me off. 'I don't need you to save me.'

'Well, too bad,' I said, not influenced by his dangerous look since I knew it was only to scare me away. 'Because I did. And know stop whining about the details and start thinking of a plan. I don't think the doctor will think you're normal when he sees that you're not injured at all.'

Sebastian sighed. 'Oh, please. Have you seen this circus? Clearly none of them have even finished high-school. These are humans who are terrible low in the social ladder. It doesn't matter what I'll tell them: they will be stupid enough to believe it anyway.'

I rolled my eyes again, but didn't object. 'If you say so…'

We reached the tent and I saw the snake-guy sitting on a crate in front of the opening of the tent.

'Ah, Snake!' Joker said. 'Is the doc in the medical tent?'

I just stood frozen. Why did that guy still have snakes around his neck? The show was over, right? And were those strange – snakelike – eyes natural? That was so cool. I would love to learn more about the guy. Too bad he was creepy as hell and not really our priority at the moment.

The man didn't answer, but one snake pointed at another tent. Now that Sebastian had said it… he was kind of right. Joker and Snake both looked really young. They couldn't be much older than me. Twenty-five at most, but even that age seemed to old.

'Oh, maybe he's making round,' Joker said in response to the snake's response and Sebastian followed him without question. What, was I the only one who thought that was odd? Yes? Oh well, I was used to it by now.

We walked into a tent that looked like some sort of canteen, with tables and some people eating food at the tables. It was warmed here, but something in this tent made me shiver. I wasn't sure what it was though.

'Good, there he is,' Joker said as he walked up to a man in a wheelchair who was helping someone sitting at a table. 'Doc!'

I noticed that the man in the wheelchair, an older looking man with round glasses, had been helping Dagger with his… leg? Wait… That was a strange leg. Just like Joker's hand… Was that a thing or something? They should use that in their advertising. I bet it would work.

'Hey, Joker,' the man said friendly, almost fatherly. 'Is your hand acting up again?'

We were standing closer to the doctor and Dagger now and Dagger was looking at me and Sebastian with curious eyes, almost as if he did recognize us while also not recognizing us at the same time. 'Naw, today I've got someone else—'

Then Dagger seemed to remember why we looked so familiar. He shot up and pointed at Sebastian. 'It's you!' he said. 'You're the one who just got bitten by Betty!'

'Betty?!' the doctor repeated, sounding incredibly concerned. I decided I liked the man. He seemed very kind. 'That's terrible. We've got to get you to the infirmary!'

I moaned. Ugh, but we just went there!

Sebastian gave me a look. _Behave yourself._

I pulled up an eyebrow. _No chance._

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'Did you really get bitten by a tiger? I don't see any wound,' Doc said while inspecting Sebastian's head.

Sebastian actually went for a ridiculous explanation, almost as if he was trying to prove his point to me. 'Just an affectionate nip,' he said, smiling happily.

I almost laughed again. _An affectionate nip? _That sounded about as logical as tigers being _whimsical._

Doc smiled relieved, reminding me in some ways of my grandmother. Wasn't going to tell him that, though. He would only be insulted. 'Well, I'm just glad you're all right.'

'Too true!' Joker said. He was still with us, almost refusing to leave us alone. I hated to admit it, but he started to annoy me. Everything about his kindness and happiness just seemed too fake. 'I was afraid the troupe leader was going to kill me for letting a customer get hurt!'

This made me frown. 'You aren't the leader?' I asked confused.

Joker turned to me to answer. 'I'm more or less the hired replacement. The real one's scary.'

_Well, that fake smile of yours is scary enough as it is, though._

Dagger, who'd also decided to tag alone for no reason, stood next to Joker as he said that. 'Don't blame me if you get yelled at for saying that!' he said, smiling with his arms crossed.

Something about those two seemed strange. I mean, they clearly weren't family, but they behaved like they were brothers. I wasn't sure why that interested me, but it did.

Then someone entered the tent and we all turned to look. Ah. It was leather-wearing Beast. 'Doc, would you take a look at my leg—'

Dagger immediately melted away. 'Miss!' he said in an adoring voice, making his affection towards this woman rather obvious.

'You!' she said angry, clearly not talking to Dagger, but to me and Sebastian. Since Sebastian ignored her, I decided to do the same.

Dagger walked up to her. 'I'm here for my leg, too!'

I pulled up my eyebrows. _No, you weren't! Doc was helping you in another tent! You're here because you were curious!_

He wasn't done talking, though. 'Yet more proof of the red thread of destiny between—'

'You're those freaks!' she screamed, pointing at us while ignoring Dagger completely, making me sympathise with him. 'What are you doing here?! You wrecked my show—'

'Beast!' Doc said stern, sounding like a real father. 'You can't talk like that to a guest! This isn't his fault; it's yours for not being able to control Betty!'

That right! I felt a smile creeping on my face, as if we'd won a fight. You go and tell her, Doc! Okay, she was kind of right about the fact that we wrecked her show, but hey, at least _I _tried to at least make something out of it. She'd just been standing there like an idiot.

Beast came closer to us, still pointing at Sebastian. 'But _he_ walked up to her without—'

'No buts!' Doc said. 'You're a pro, aren't you?'

Joker decided to join the conversation. 'Now, Doc, please don't shout in front of our guests.'

Dagger also joined the conversation now. 'That's right, please just forget this and check Miss's leg!'

Wait, why was he calling her 'miss'? She couldn't be that much older than him, but he made it sound like she was ancient.

Doc sighed, giving in. 'You'll be retraining Betty after this, Beast. Is that clear?'

'Yeah,' she said harsh, clearly _not _agreeing with the situation at all.

Doc closed his eyes for a second before opening them, that warm smile back on his face. 'Right, then. Show me your prosthesis.'

'Prosthesis?' Sebastian repeated while he stood up. He had been sitting so that Doc could have a good look.

I was now standing between Joker and Sebastian and between those two tall men, I suddenly felt really short. 'We're a bit of an irregular bunch here,' Joker explained. 'We're a gathering place for people with certain problems. I'm missing an arm myself, but the Doc got me this fine replacement. Good looking, isn't it?'

I shivered. I didn't have anything against people like them, but the idea that his whole arm, and apparently Beast's whole leg, was fake just made me shiver.

Doc took of a part of Beast's fake leg and started to adjust certain things while he spoke: 'The design you picked is the reason you always need adjusting, you know. Put yourself in my shoes!'

I laughed, because now he _really _sounded like my grandmother.

Sebastian still remembered that we were here to investigate, instead of me, who had kind of forgotten until he asked this question: 'Do you make the prostheses for this circus, sir?'

'More or less,' he answered, 'it's a big job! I do everything, from carving the parts to final fitting. Because of this circus and it special performers, who get a free passes and money from the government. It may not me much, but it is enough to keep even such a strange business alive.' He put the part of Beast's leg he was holding back on its place and started to check if everything was okay.

That last part clearly didn't interest Sebastian. 'Carving them? Are they wooden, then?' he asked and I frowned, not understanding his sudden interest in the prostheses. What, did he think that Ciel would need one in the near future? Well, he might need one, if he kept on leaving his walking stick at home. Though he had brought it with him today.

'No,' Doc answered, 'ceramic, but I use special materials, so they're light and sturdy.'

Sebastian walked over and touched Beast's leg, clearly forgetting that it was, in fact, _her _leg. 'I see. They're quite smooth to the touch.'

'Aren't they?' Doc asked, clearly proud. 'And I use spherical parts in the joints, for nice fluid movement.'

Sebastian slid his hand up, clearly intrigued by the fake leg, making Beast and even _me _blush. 'This truly is fine work.'

Then he pulled up her leg, making the whole situation just rude. 'What's this seal?' he asked, making me frown. _Seal?_ With everything that had happened I learned to not trust the presence of a 'seal'.

That was the moment that Beast thought Sebastian had gone too far. 'What are you doing, you pervert?!' she screamed, pulling her leg free and kicking it in this direction.

Of course, Sebastian dodge her leg easily. 'Oh, I beg your pardon,' he said, not sounding apologetic at all. 'You didn't strike me as modest enough to be embarrassed by such trifles.'

I had to held in laughter. Geez, what was with Sebastian and his sassy comments today? Did he always say such things?

This of course only angered her more, to a degree that she even pulled out her whip. Of course Sebastian could easily dodge every attempt she made to hurt him, even protecting me in the process. I was impressed he even bothered to do that, but I was also bothered by the fact that I was so influenced by the fact that he had his hands around me while he held me like I was a dead fish. Did my presence really not influence him at all? Did his hand around my waist mean nothing to him? But the most important question was: could he hear my heart beat loudly in my chest, only because his arms were around me and his scent smelled so good?

Joker then grabbed me and pulled me away from the scene, to the only save place in the tent. Not that it looked entirely save, because next to Joker, Dagger was clearly boiling with anger.

'Oi, Beast,' Doc said, 'stop that!' Of course there wasn't much else that he could do. He turned to Joker and Dagger. 'You two, stop her—'

'How _dare _you lay a hand on lady's fair and tender skin!' Dagger screamed, pulling out his knives.

_Oh boy…_

The started to throw the knives in Sebastian's way, who again easily dodged them.

One jump caused Sebastian to end up on the pole near the ceiling of the tent, the one that made sure the that the tent stood the way it was supposed to. I was surprised that the pole could hold him and I was sure that the four others in the tent were impressed by Sebastian's skills. 'I didn't actually touch her skin… but I do seem to have touched a nerve.'

That was it, I just laughed out loud. It was a good thing that I wasn't the centre of attention at the moment, because my laugh truly sounded horrible now.

'Dagger, stop!' Doc said panicking. 'You'll shred the tent!'

'Miss Beast's honour is more important than this tent!' Dagger screamed, throwing more knives Sebastian's way.

The funniest thing was the fact that Joker was just observing it all, clearly not bothering to try and stop it.

Sebastian was kind enough to make sure that the tent was destroyed by catching all the knives Dagger threw. It _was _kind of stupid, though. I mean, I knew that Sebastian thought everyone here was stupid, but _come on. _No one was stupid enough to believe that a normal man could do all the stuff that Sebastian had done this past minute.

'No way!' Dagger screamed and the Joker whistled a sort tone, clearly impressed, but not thinking it was suspicious.

'Don't get cocky!' Beast said and as she tried to attack Sebastian one more time, Joker decided to make an end to it. He jumped and grabbed the whip, ending in front of Beast. He sued one of his magic tricks to turn his walking stick into a bouquet of flowers and handed it to Beast. 'Ta-da! All right, that's enough!' he said, still laughing that fake smile.

'What?' Dagger said, clearly disappointed. 'No!'

While screamed: 'Why didn't you stop them sooner?!' Joker looked at Beats in a way that I did not understand, but was kind of suspicious, and he said: 'here, Beast, don't be so scratchy.'

Sebastian jumped down as Beast said: 'But he—'

She was interrupted by Joker again: 'There, there.' He pulled her towards him, touching her leg way more affectionate than Sebastian had done. But it was clear that she wasn't going to punish him, nor was Dagger. The boss, but not the boss, huh?

'It's such an awesome leg, I can understand why he'd want to touch it,' he said while stroking her leg, making me blush and look away, only to see Sebastian smirking at me, clearly enjoying my embarrassment.

'Take these flowers and cheer up,' Joker said before releasing her.

Geez, with those seducing skills I wouldn't be surprised if he was a demon, too. Though I didn't think so since he didn't have red eyes nor pale skin. He didn't even have the dark hair that Sebastian had. Dark, soft hair that smelled like summer mornings…

Argh! I was dozing off again! I almost slapped myself in the face for thinking like that. Really, I shouldn't.

Joker turned to me and Sebastian. 'That was mighty athletic, sir!' he told Sebastian. 'I reckon I'd hire 'ee and the beautiful lady! You both seem very skilled!'

Wait… was he talking about me? _Beautiful? Skilled?_ I would've fallen for it if his laugh didn't seem to fake.

'I'd reckon I hire 'ee!' he finally said.

Sebastian gave me a look that almost seemed to say '_watch this_' before he leant towards Joker and looked at him. 'Is that true?' he asked, so intense that it made me giggle.

Joker looked totally surprised, but Sebastian wasn't quite done yet. 'Truth be told, my current master is so spoiled, I'm quite disgusted with him.'

I put a hand in front of my face, trying to cover my giggling. Ah, good thing Ciel wasn't here! But I had to admit that Sebastian had been right. Even though Sebastian played over the top and all around not believable, Joker seemed to believe every single word. The idiot.

'_Master?_' Joker repeated surprised. 'Be thee a servant, then? I took 'ee for gentry, dessed up so fine…'

What was that accent?! Seriously, I', sure I've heard it before. Just what was it?

I decided to join the act. 'He gentry? Hardly,' I said as I stood beside Sebastian with one hand on his shoulder, patting him as if we were best buddies. 'He's merely one hell of a butler.' I gave Sebastian a wink and he rolled his eyes, clearly not appreciating the fact that I was mocking him.

Joker pointed at me. 'Wait… be thee a servant, too?'

I smiled, knowing what Sebastian wanted me to say. 'Yes, I am! Though I'm not quite as capable as this guy.' I gave him a look that meant to say '_there, I gave you a compliment. Happy?_'

An arrogant smile appeared on his face. _Very much, thank you._ He turned to the Joker then. 'Now then, was that true? If so, I'd like to join you very much.'

'Me too,' I said, copying his intense seriousness.

'Not having me on, are 'ee?' Joker asked, clearly not as stupid as Sebastian as thought, but still quite stupid, I had to admit. Who would believe two strange people who had just ruined your show? For all he knew we were spies from another circus. Or serial killers.

'I never jest,' Sebastian said while pinching my arm, clearly telling me not to laugh while also making sure that I stopped patting him.

Then, suddenly, the Joker laughed and the tension in the tent seemed to disappear. He put one hand on Sebastian's shoulder and one on mine, smiling honest for the first time since I'd met him. 'Lord, that's funny!' he said laughing. 'All right, me 'ansome. Sure, join us anytime!'

Beast decided that that wasn't a good idea. 'Hey, Joker! You can't just decide that!' she said.

'But she's got such talent!' Joker said, his innocence now making me question whether I liked him or not.

'Pardon me,' Sebastian interrupted, clearly not wanting to cause another scene. 'There's actually another person I'd like to introduce to you.'

I gave Sebastian a glare. Did he seriously think that Ciel would join a circus? I'd think he would rather never drink tea again than join a circus.

'Oh? And who he bee?' Joker asked, looking curious at us.

When Sebastian wasn't answering I thought up a silly answer. 'He's my brother!' I said and I could feel Sebastian's eyes burn as he looked at me. Boy, he did not like the answer I gave, but hey, at least Joker bought it.

Joker smiled. 'If he's anything like 'ee, that's fine. But I reckon we'll give an entry test!'

Yeah, this wasn't going to work. Ciel didn't only have problems with walking, but the only thing that kid could do was being the Queen's Guard Dog and play chess. Not really circus-material.

'Very well,' Sebastian said, pinching me again when I opened my mouth to protest. 'We'll come back tomorrow with him, then. Thank you for all your help today.' He bowed and I followed his example, knowing that we both had to look like simple servants.

Sebastian grabbed my arm and pulled be towards the exit of the tent. 'Oh, sir—' Joker said, but Sebastian interrupted him before he could say anything else. 'No need to show me out,' Sebastian said and after that we walked outside, into the cold while I wondered what the hell we'd just done.

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**Yay, chapter 35 is done! No word for today, because I'm too sick and tired to think. Tomorrow's my birthday, yay! Hope I'm not sick tomorrow… that would suck. I think I might write another chapter today, so I'll probably upload that tomorrow morning or evening, depending on when I have time. It's my birthday present for you guys 3 (okay, cheesy as hell, but who cares).**

**Oh, and I'm actually thinking of changing the title of the story, since the current title was just something I came up with on a whim. I'm not sure what I would name it, but if you have any ideas, let me know!**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing, I love to hear from you guys! Heheh :)**

**Silver Moon Fairie: Yeah, I felt like that was something she would do XD**

**promocat: Thanks! And rather than not having a clue, I think Clarissa just decides to not think about it too much. But yeah, of course she also doesn't have a clue.**

**jacelover103: I'd love to update more! But you have this thing called 'school' and I can't always ignore it :( but thanks for the compliment, love to hear that you like it! And talking about a love triangle… you might love the upcoming chapters… hehehehe.**


	36. Chapter 36

**So yeah, not much to say here. I've said at the end of the previous chapter that I would write another chapter after that one and upload it either tomorrow morning or tomorrow evening, but since I'm not sure if I will have time to do that tomorrow, I updating now.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks everyone for reading and reviewing!**

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**Chapter 36**

As we walked outside I noticed that Sebastian wasn't leading us towards the exit, but towards another part of the camp that looked like it was the fancy-party of the circus.

While we were walking, Sebastian was speaking to himself softly, most likably not even aware of the fact that I could hear him. 'There were nine tents and ten carts before the medical tent. And further along, we have… some nicer tents. As long as I'm here, I might as well inspect them. But first…'

Sebastian suddenly dragged me behind the last crappy tent before the fancy ones started/ The fancy tents were surrounded by lights and strings attached to those, clearly to state that you couldn't just walk there.

'What is it?' I said shocked, thinking that something bad had happened.

Sebastian had his back against the tent and held me close to him, but not close enough to make me blush. It was close enough, however, to make my heart beat faster. 'I want you to go back to the car and watch Ciel. Wait there for my return.'

I laughed softly. 'Yeah, I'm not falling for that. You've told me that I shouldn't leave your sight. I know how badly you want me dead, Sebastian, but I'm not that stupid.'

Sebastian frowned and then pulled me closer to him, both hands on my waist. It was clear that he was going to try seduction to get what he wanted. 'If you're careful, you have nothing to worry about. Just don't wander off and join Ciel.' He made sure that his sweet breath landed on my face while he talked.

I wanted to close my eyes and forget that I was here with him, forget that this man was attractive. Forget that I probably only found him attractive because he was hot. 'I'm not leaving, Sebastian. Because as long as I'm here, you have to save me.'

He tilted his head to the right and narrowed his eyes. 'You're attracted to me, but it seems like you would rather die than admit that. Why is that?'

This question came complete out of nowhere and shocked me so that my mouth fell open. 'What did you just say?'

He laughed softly and let his arms slide up, grabbing my arms, holding me exactly where he wanted me to be. 'You are attracted to me, but you won't admit it. My question was; why is that?' He truly seemed curious.

And his pleading face made me burst the answer out: 'Because everyone else is, too.'

He frowned, but I wasn't done talking yet.

'Seriously, every girl, and some guys to, are so in love with your face and body that I feel like a slut for actually thinking the same. Because it's shallow. And because it's stupid. Because, honestly, I would not be able to forgive myself if I felt in love with a demon because of his personality.'

It was silent of a while and even though I regretted admitting it, it was relieving to say these thoughts out loud for once.

Then Sebastian grabbed my face in his hands and pulled it up so I could look into those beautiful dark red eyes. 'Ah, I have to admit that this does bother me to some extent. You see, humans are easy to manipulate when they have feelings for you. When it's only shallow attraction, it's not as affective, because those feelings can be put aside much easier.' His eyes seemed to glow when he said: 'So I think I have to make you love me even more. Even if you won't forgive yourself. Even if you'll hate me for making you love me. I want to know you will be by my side exactly when I want you to be.' And then he pressed his lips against mine, not being gentle or sweet this time.

His hands were on my hips as he pulled me even closer, forcing my mouth open to deepen the kiss. I was sure if it had been anyone else I would have been able to stop it. But his sweet taste and skilled moves made me unable to resist. I even started to respond with the same fire that he gave me. I touched his dark and soft hair and felt the soft skin of his flawless face. And just as I was starting to forget who I was he pulled away, but only after biting my lip.

'Ouch!' I said, immediately out of my trance, putting one hand against my mouth. 'You bit me! Again!'

'Yes, I did,' he said, looking and sounding way too cocky. 'You're even bleeding.' He chuckled and I noticed that he had a vague trace of my blood on his lips.

I was way too out of breath and feeling way too strange to strangle him, even though I wanted to so badly. 'I hate you,' I told him, brushing the blood from my mouth.

'No, you don't,' he said, shaking his head. Then he gently pet my head, almost lovingly. The next moment, he was gone.

Dang it! Now I had no other choice than to join Ciel in the car. So I started to walk towards the parking lot, hoping that Ciel wouldn't notice my bleeding lip.

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Of course Ciel noticed. The moment I sat down in the limousine next to him, he frowned and asked annoyed and not really interested: 'What happened to your mouth?'

'Nothing,' I said grumpy, not wanting to talk to him right now. I felt like killing someone and taking this rage out on Ciel didn't seem right.

'Well, where's Sebastian?' Ciel asked after a while, as if he'd read my mind and decided to give me some time to calm down before asking.

'Exploring,' I said, not looking at him.

Ciel sighed and grabbed my chin with his gloved hand. I was happy that he was wearing leather gloves, because it felt completely different than Sebastian's gloves. 'What's wrong? Did somebody do anything to you?'

Then, suddenly, he understood. Still holding my chin in a firm grip, he asked: 'Did _Sebastian _do anything to you?'

I swallowed hard and tried to think of an excuse, knowing that he would see through every lie immediately. It was no use. I couldn't lie to Ciel. 'Yes,' I answered. 'But that's all I want to say about it.'

It was clear that Ciel thought something else that I'd meant when I said 'yes'. His expression became cold, but certainly not calm. 'Did he hurt you?'

Well, I thought that he would have guessed by now. Bleeding lip, demon who had done something to me. It sounded pretty obvious. Maybe Ciel was more innocent that I'd thought. I wondered if he'd every kissed anyone.

Even though Ciel was still holding my chin I looked out of the dark window when I answered his question. 'No, not really. He was just being rude.' I was actually impressed because that lie sounded somehow believable. Maybe because, for the most part, it was true. It was rude to just kiss someone, but he had in fact hurt me. Not that my mouth was seriously injured or anything, but even lying about such a small matter was kind of impressive. At least, for me.

Well, I really did not want to talk about this subject anymore, so I decided to change it. 'By the way, Sebastian wants you to join the circus.'

Ciel let go of my chin and his face became absolutely murderous. Now _he _looked like he wanted to kill someone. 'What?' he said, almost spitting the word out.

'Well, yeah. For the investigation, I mean. Me and Sebastian were already invited, so no pressure there.' At least, I hoped. Joker never clarified whether me and Sebastian also had to do some sort of test or not. 'Oh, and I kind of told them you were my brother…'

'Are you mad?!' he asked, suddenly really annoyed. He crossed his arms. 'I'm not joying a poor travelling circus, that's way beneath my standers.'

I shrugged. 'You don't have to tell me that, that's something between you and Sebastian.' Dang it, I brought Sebastian up again. Luckily for me, Ciel didn't react. He just put his hand under his chin in a thinking manner, his eyes closed. And the way he sat there thinking, made me think of something I had wondered earlier. 'Ciel, have you ever had a girlfriend?' I asked.

He opened his eyes and looked at me with a cynical expression.

'Or boyfriend, that's also fine,' I said, almost scared I insulted him.

He still looked at me with that cynical expression on his face. 'Do you really think I have time for such nonsense?' he asked me.

Of course Ciel would think that things such as relationships were nonsense. He seemed to think that about friendships, so it wasn't surprising at all. 'Well, no. Not really. But I just wondered. I mean… have you ever kissed before?'

Now he just looked perplexed. He clearly couldn't believe I just asked that. 'I do believe that's none of your business,' he said snarky.

'And _I _do believe you're avoiding the question,' I said, having a small smile on my face. Having Ciel distract me from Sebastian's kiss was one of the smartest ideas I'd ever had. It was easy to forget things like that, since I'd always been good ad forgetting the things that I didn't want to remember.

He sighed annoyed, but didn't say anything. After what felt like ages, he finally spoke. 'I don't think it was Drossel, you know,' he said.

I had no idea how we ended up from a conversation about kissing to Drossel. I didn't want to talk about Drossel. I wanted to talk about stupid teenage stuff and just be a teenager for once. Was that too much to ask? 'What do you mean?' I asked.

'The mark in your neck,' he explained. 'I do not think it was Drossel. Drossel wanted to keep you as a doll and treasured you like no one else seemed to do. Almost as if _you _were his possession. And after meeting him – or at least a strange sort of copy of him – I came to the conclusion that Drossel loved you way too much to scar your skin like that.'

I opened my mouth to talk, to say that I really had been Drossel, but Ciel held up his hand, refusing to let me speak. 'I did some research on you, you know. There was a time, quite a few years ago, where you disappeared for almost a month. I wondered if your disappearance that anything to do with your strange illness and power, but records show that you have been sick since birth, so that wasn't it. But you _were _missing for a month.'

I frowned. This didn't make any sense at all. 'But I d—'

'Don't remember that at all,' Ciel finished my sentence. 'I know. I have become quite good at knowing when you're lying, which is one of the reasons I'm allowing you to stay. That and the Queen's orders. But also… I believe that the key to my revenge is in those vanished memories of yours.'

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Sebastian arrived at the car shortly after that and Ciel ordered him to drive to 'the town house' (meaning Madame Red's old house) because we would stay in London for a while to investigate the circus further, since they would be in London for another day.

Ciel waiting until we arrived to start his rant. 'I'm asking you why that suddenly became the plan!' He shouted as Sebastian opened the door and Ciel took his coat off and gave it to Sebastian. When he handed Sebastian his hat, he said: 'When did I order you to say that?!'

Sebastian's smile was only amused. He was clearly annoying the fact that this situation annoyed Ciel. 'Is it inconvenience for you, my Lord?' he asked, only pretending to be kind. His sadistic smile told me otherwise.

Ciel shot him a deadly glare, but then noticed that I was standing next to him and the look on his eyes told me that he had forgotten I existed for a second. 'We'll argue about it later,' he told Sebastian, looking away from me. 'I'm exhausted. I want to go straight to bed.'

Sebastian's smile was gone, but I wasn't sure because his fun was over or because he was holding it in. 'Certainly, but—'

The door that led to the living room flew open and Soma ran towards Ciel with an enthusiasm that was almost scary. 'Ciel! I'm so glad you're here! I've been waiting and waiting and waiting!'

I smiled when I realised that he kind of sounded like Lizzie.

Agni appeared behind Soma, also coming from the living room. 'Welcome home, Lord Phantomhive, Miss Lane and Sebastian.'

'Right,' Ciel said, sounding as if being irritated had made him tired. 'I forgot _you _were here.'

And I didn't even know that they were here. So it was a nice surprise for me. I smiled as a way of greeting, but Soma couldn't see that because he'd taken Ciel into his arms. 'Ciel, it's been too long!' he said.

I chuckled, quite sure that Ciel didn't agree with that. Ciel probably thought that it hadn't been long _enough_.

Finally, Soma let go of Ciel, who looked quite grumpy when he did. 'I didn't expect you at the town house so early!' Soma said laughing. 'Did you miss me that badly? Poor lonely Ciel!'

That made me cringe and I wasn't even sure why.

Ciel completely ignored Soma's words. 'Sorry, but I'm tired,' he said, but he didn't sound like he was sorry. 'I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now.'

Soma looked like Ciel's coldness still surprised him. Seriously, you'd think that guy would be used to it by now. 'What?! But I've been so excited to challenge you to that "chess" game of yours!' He put his hands on Ciel's shoulder from behind, making him unable to see Ciel's face. And even though I couldn't see Ciel's face either, I was quite sure it was filled with rage.

'Don't you care about dashing my hopes?!' Soma said, trying to gain pity from Ciel.

'No!' Ciel shouted harshly, pulling himself free while starting to walk upstairs.

Then Soma got mad, too. 'What's wrong, Ciel?! You look so grumpy!'

That made me laugh, but also realise that maybe someone needed to get Soma off of Ciel's back. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Soma opened his mouth again.

'We finally get to see each other again, so at least smile a little!'

That made the whole room go quiet for a while. Sebastian and I knew that Ciel never smiled happily. He could chuckle and pull out an arrogant smile, but smiling out of happiness wasn't something Ciel did. I had started to doubt if he even _could_.

Then Ciel turned around, looking more angry then I'd ever seen him. He looked so angry it was almost funny. 'Shut it! I'm _tired_! So keep quiet!'

That shocked Soma, as well as Agni, who looked at Sebastian, looking for answers that he didn't get. 'Right…' Soma said and I saw that he understood. But that didn't mean that he shut up. 'You won't attract good fortune if you don't smile, you know!' he said in a tiny voice.

Agni looked at me then, finding the answers in my eyes. He approached his master and put a hand on his shoulder. 'Your Highness…' was the only thing he said.

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It was actually Agni who woke me up that morning, telling me that Ciel had requested a meeting with me and that I should go to the living room when I was ready. He also told me that he and Soma were going into town.

So I got dressed and walked downstairs, only to find Ciel in the living room with a cup of – you guessed it – tea. 'Good morning,' I said cautious, not sure what Ciel's mood was today.

'Good morning,' he said. 'Sit down.'

I did as he said and frowned when I didn't see Sebastian around. I didn't say anything, though, because I wasn't ready for an awkward situation this early in the morning. 'So… why did you want to talk with me?'

'Me and Sebastian will join the circus,' he told me. 'And because of a for us convenient lie you've told you'll have to come with us.'

'That had been my intention, yes,' I told him. Then I frowned. 'Convenient lie?'

'Yes,' Ciel said, 'even though there aren't many pictures of me around and the circus almost certainly wouldn't know who I am just by looking at my face, it sure is convenient to have a sister. Because Earl Ciel Phantomhive doesn't have a sister, they'll see you as prove that I am not him, even if they do recognize me.'

I frowned. 'But I have been in many magazines, too. And Sebastian has even been on television…'

'Poor circus artists don't watch television and you and Sebastian both only appeared in teenage girls magazines and local newspapers. Not really something the circus artists would have seen. The only threat is the audience, but I'd like to finish the case before we have to perform. And if that doesn't work, then the huge amount of make-up worn by circus artists will have to do. Do you understand?' he asked.

'Well, yes,' I said. Then I thought about and changed my answer. 'Well, no? Yes? I think so? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to understand.'

'Act like we're brother and sister. Act like a servant. Put please, don't overplay your part.' He pulled a disgusted face. 'And stay out of trouble as much as possible.' He didn't deny the fact that I wouldn't get into trouble, but he did ask me to keep it to a minimum. That humoured me.

'Anything else?' I asked him, holding my face slightly tilted to the side.

Ciel nodded. 'Yes. Please make sure to keep your secret powers to a minimum. I understand you'll have to use them for time to time to be accepted by the circus, but don't be suspicious.' He frowned when he saw my confused face. 'Why did you think Joker invited you to join, Clarissa? Because you had the tiger under your control. That's an amazing power. And the only power you'll use. I know that you probably don't even know what you can do to this point, but if you ever feel the urge to use your powers, whatever the situation is, don't give into it. Unless it doesn't endanger the case. Understood?'

I was surprised that Ciel acknowledged the 'secret powers' I had. I thought he and I were the same. Both ignoring its existence until someone explained what the hell it meant. Apparently, that wasn't the case. Too bad. If Ciel had faced that fact, then I had too, at least at some point. That idea alone frighten me more than the upcoming day and what it would bring us. 'Understood.'

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**End of chapter 36! I'm actually not sure whether it's legal in England to work in a circus if you're under eighteen, so if it isn't, just pretend it is, because I never get involved in politics. Again no word today, because I'm still sick. And again sorry for the typos, I keep trying to make none, but I keep finding them when I reread the chapters later. I'm looking forward to the next few chapters, I've planned some pretty exciting stuff. Hope you guys will like my ideas (when you actually get to read them, of course)!**

**See you soon and thanks for reading/reviewing/following/favouriting!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Blah blah blah. I'm still sick. And I should probably go to sleep… Nah, let's write another chapter! I'm almost at a hundred followers and I'm still not sure what to do with it once I reach hundred! But I want to do something special… Hmm…**

**Anyways, don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters, but I do own crazy little Clarissa.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 37**

'What a lovely little tacker! A boy, I reckon?'

No shit, Sherlock. I'd told you he was my _brother, _hadn't I? Was he pretending to be stupid or was he just really dumb?

'Yes, I'm an orphan who lives with my sister at her master's house,' Ciel said with the most innocent voice he could manage. And I had to admit, it was pretty freaking believable. 'My name is F-Finnian.'

'Ah!' Joker said, turning to me. 'And you were an earl's maid, yes?'

I nodded. 'Mei-Rin!' I said, looking at Ciel, who looked at me with his 'are you serious?'-look because I went for the same trick as he. I hoped Finnian and Mei-Rin would be happy to know that we used their names.

Joker shook his head as he stepped closer to Ciel. 'Such imposing names! Well, I'll give 'ee a stage name if 'ee pass. Art 'ee just a boy, though?'

I gasped. Of course! It was probably illegal for children to work in a circus. But this circus didn't really seem like they would care… They kind of seemed like a circus that stayed out of the police's radar.

'Yes,' Ciel said slowly, not sure if he was just insulted or not.

Then Joker smiled and my worries faded as he said: 'But just being adorable won't see through a circus,' he said.

Then I noticed that Sebastian wasn't standing beside me anymore. When I searched with my eyes I found him in the middle of a group female circus artists who were already in love with the handsome demon's face. I sighed. This really was just proving my point.

Sebastian looked at me as if he had heard that sigh even from afar. He gave me a smile that no one would be able to resist. A smile that was so lovely and sweet and innocent that even an angel's smile could not compare.

_Shush! He's just trying to make you fall in love with him so he can manipulate him! _my brain told me.

_I don't care! _my heart responded. _If he keeps smiling at me like that I will love him with all I got!_

_You are an idiot._

My eyes, desperately looking for distraction, went back to Ciel and Joker. 'We must do tricks, too,' Joker said, 'What's your specialty?'

Ciel thought about that for a second. 'Well… darts, I suppose.'

I almost face palmed. The idiot. Darts weren't really a circus trick. Well, at least I had to give him credit for not saying 'chess'.

'Hmm,' Joker said in a thoughtful voice, 'that'll be knife-throwing, then.' He turned to a group of the circus artists who I knew from the show, better than all the other artists. They were kind of the main characters of the circus. The girl in white, the huge guy and Dagger. Now only Beast and Snake and the group was complete. 'Dagger!' Joker shouted. 'Give him some knives.'

Dagger walked up to him and handed him a few knives, surprisingly kind towards Ciel. Well, I suppose Ciel _did _look kind of cute, so I guess it made sense. Especially now that he was wearing 'commoner's clothes'. Sebastian had dressed him up for today, but I managed to convince them that no poor young boy wore those kind of clothes. I didn't say no one wore them anymore, but hey, it would be kind of true.

'Thank you,' Ciel said, surprisingly shy.

'Now aim for that target,' Joker said, pointed at a dummy strapped to a three quite a bit away. No one, not even a darts champion could manage to hit a target that far away. Were they trying to make Ciel fail?

I looked over at Sebastian, surprised to see he was looking back. When I gave him a worried look, he smiled, assuring me that everything would be fine. That _he _would take care of everything.

And he did. As Ciel threw the knives they clearly didn't make the target, but somehow Sebastian managed to manipulate the knives into going into the target anyway. When I looked hard enough I saw that Sebastian threw little rocks in a fast and efficient way, making the knives go into the direction he needed them to go to.

_Kind of like what he's doing with my heart. Only instead of little rocks, he uses passionate kisses and sweet talk._

'You're more talented than I reckoned, but the test isn't over yet!' Joker said after Ciel had thrown the last knife and Sebastian had made sure it hit bull's-eye again.

All three of us looked at him with a strange look. Ciel clearly did not want to do any more physical activity and Sebastian wasn't sure whether the next thing he would come up with would be something he could easily help Ciel with. And I just wanted this whole test-thing to be over. Those girls kept looking at me funny.

Joker crossed his arms. 'Next is… tightrope walking!'

'No!' I immediately said, jumping in front of Ciel in a defensive manner. Joker, Dagger and the other circus artists looked at me surprised. I swallowed and looked at both Ciel and Sebastian, but it was clear that they weren't going to help me. Ciel just looked straight up pissed.

'I'm sorry,' I said, 'but my little brother has a problem with his leg and I will not let him do something as dangerous as tightrope walking with a bad leg!' I emphasize that, I took over the walking stick Sebastian had been holding in his hands – since Ciel couldn't play darts with a walking stick in his hands – and gave it to Ciel. It was a cheap walking stick we had bought on our way to the circus, because poor people didn't have the good quality walking sticks that he had.

Joker looked surprised that my sudden emotion, but smiled as if he understood completely. 'Of course we won't let someone with such a handicap do such an unfitting thing. I understand. As for you, you still need to do a test.'

I pulled a face. 'I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do the whole 'tightrope walking'-thing.'

Joker laughed. 'Of course! But that's not why you're here, is it?'

I frowned. Oh boy. What was he going to make me do?

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Joker brought me, followed by some of the circus artists and Ciel and Sebastian, to the tents were the animals were. 'I reckon you are good with animals,' he told me. 'Your test is to prove it!'

Wait, what?! I wasn't even sure what I was supposed to do. I guessed I should just do something to prove that I was good with animals, but I wasn't even sure if I _was._

I breathed in deeply and walked up to the tiger Betty, because I knew that at least I could control _her _to some extent. It seemed like she recognized me, because she walked up to the bars that were separating us and starting to purr like a little idiot. I heard some of the circus artists mumble fascinated, but I wasn't really interested.

I put my hand through the bar and touched Betty's forward, petting his soft fur while looking into her eyes. 'Hey, Beautiful,' I said, making Sebastian chuckle. I was surprised he wasn't 'attacking' the lions in the cage besides Betty, but he kept quiet. Smart demon.

Betty started to respond, her eyes wise and beautiful. 'Are you tired?' I asked her, because I somehow got that vibe from her.

She closed her eyes. I saw that as a 'yes'. I kept petting her while I whispered: 'Then go to sleep. I promise you that no one will punish you for sleeping. A beautiful tigress such as yourself needs to sleep.'

And almost as if she understood what I was saying she lay down and started to rest. A smile appeared on my face. Maybe this was enough to—

'Okay!' Joker said. 'If you can get all of them to sleep save and sound then you're hired.'

I gave him a murderous look and then looked over at Ciel, who was looking at me with one simple sentence on his face. _Just do what he says._

This seemed to be the beginning of another of our wordless conversations. I rolled my eyes. _Geez, thanks a lot, little brother._

He narrowed his eye. _I'm not your brother._

I sighed and walked over to the lions cage. Which seemed to be just as easy as Betty, so that was no problem. The elephant was even easier, he came walking towards me before I even came close to his cage and also the camels seemed to trust me pretty quick. The circus artist even became bored when they saw how easy it was for me and I couldn't help but smile arrogantly while doing it, feeling better than anyone for the first time in my life.

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After we had finished we were brought to the big circus tent, where Joker opened his mouth once more. 'There's one more thing that needs to be tested before we can hire all three of 'ee,' he said. He walked up to Ciel and put his fake hand on his shoulder. 'I want to see you smile!'

Sebastian had to actually put a hand against his mouth and turn away to hide his laugh and I giggled, knowing that Ciel didn't laugh and certainly not just because he was asked to.

When Ciel just looked at Joker with a disgusted face, Joker said: 'Ah, come one! I've seen your sister smile! Why can't you? Just a bright little smile that will—'

Ciel gave him a smile that was so bright and beautiful that I almost forgot how gorgeous Sebastian's had been. Wow. Ciel should smile more often. It was freaking adorable. And just a tiny bit sexy.

That convinced Joker as he turned towards everyone present in the circus tent, which was basically everyone who'd been following us from the very beginning, as well as a few who were practicing in the circus tent. 'All right, everyone!' Joker said loudly. 'We have some new mates joining us!' First he pointed at Sebastian. 'This is Black!'

Sebastian smiled that innocent, but not really innocent smile of his. 'I'm Black. Pleased to meet you.'

He then went on to me. 'And the beautiful lady is Whisper!'

I pulled up an eyebrow. Whisper? Why the hell was I called Whisper? I'd rather be Black or Doll or Dagger. Something, you know, cool. I did not go through the effort of introducing myself after Joker had just done that.

'And then we have Smile!' Joker finally said, pointed at Ciel.

Sebastian and I started to laugh as Ciel's eyebrows rose. 'S-Smile?!' he repeated, clearly not happy.

'Give 'em a warm welcome, everyone!' Joker said happily while Sebastian and I were still laughing, trying to hide it the best we could. As we looked at each other there was a strange moment of connection, because this seemed the first time that we were completely on the same page. And even if it was about something as stupid as Ciel's circus name, it certainly surprised me. And it seemed to surprise him as well.

I gave Ciel a little push. 'Go on, Smile, say a few words!' I said mockingly.

Ciel blushed and looked at the big group of artists and he suddenly looked shy. 'Pl—Pleased to meet you.'

As me and Sebastian laughed again, Joker said to Ciel: 'Come on, Smile – smile!'

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We were giving costumes. Sebastian got almost the same outfit as he was already wearing, only with purple accents. He also didn't get to wear much make up: only a bit to make him even paler, if that was even possible, and to add a purple accent to his eye, making him look only a bit more circus-like.

Ciel got a real circus-outfit and I would have laughed at him if he did not looked almost exactly the same as normal. Which meant he looked ridiculous, but I was used to that by now.

My costume was kind of strange, but beautiful. I had a dress that had the same model as Doll's dress, but mine was white and black chequered. I had a black top had with a white bow and wore high, black boots, luckily without high heels. I would've died if I had to wear those.

They cut my hair shorted, everything below the shoulder had to go and that made my curly hair curl even more, making me look like a real circus artists. The final touch was the black square they painted over my right eye. As I looked at myself in the mirror I wished I had taken my cell phone with me to take a picture. I looked awesome!

After the little make-over Joker showed us around. 'Now I'll give ye a quick backstage tour. Follow me!' he said as we walked passed busy circus artists just doing their work.

He pointed at the tents closest to the big circus tent. 'First, the tents ye'll be sleeping in.' He opened one of the tents he pointed at to show what they looked like. 'This is where the second-stringers – which consists out of stage-helpers and newcomers and such – sleep. There sleep about two or three per tent.'

The tent wasn't that small, but it certainly wasn't big, especially when you were used to the gigantic Phantomhive estate. There was a wooden bunk bed – this circus really wasn't fire-prove – and I wasn't sure how three would fit on those two little matrasses, but I decided not to ask unnecessary questions. And it wasn't that poor. At least we got a desk with a chair. So Ciel could write an angry letter to the Queen if he wanted to.

I could see Ciel cringe at the idea that he had to live in such horrible tents for at least days. I tried to hide my laugh, because I didn't want to raise anymore suspicion. Joker closed the tent again and turned to point at a series of other tents. 'Over there's where we eat and where we store the food,' he explained. 'Cooking's a big part of your job while 'ee are new, so work hard.'

We walked further away from the big circus tent, towards the infirmary tent me and Sebastian had seen yesterday. 'Furthest down the line is the infirmary, where Black and Whisper were yesterday.' He finally pointed at the nice, purple tents. 'And past there are the private tents for the main cast.'

'Private tents?' Ciel asked, trying to look innocent while also investigate.

'The big names get places to themselves, you see. Oh, and—' the turned around and pointed at the first nice tent in the line-up. 'The first one is Snake's tent, so best keep your distance. He lets lots of poisonous ones run loose. One bite, and 'ee be stone dead.'

That should have scared the crap out of me, but the only thing I could think of was how incredible convenient it was that Snake just _happened _to be sleeping in the first tent and he just _happened _to have poisonous snakes (insert huge amount of sarcasm here).

'Snake and his serpents are cruel shy of strangers, so ye newcomers must be extra careful.'

Ha, what do you know. It just became even more convenient for our little lying Joker.

Then, suddenly, Joker pointed his presentation stick to Ciel. 'That reminds me—Smile, what happened to thy eye and leg?'

Ciel unconsciously touched his eye patch. That gesture made me realise that he was wearing nail polish. I would've laughed if the situation hadn't been this serious. 'There was an accident,' he just said, leaving it at that.

Which was probably the smartest idea anyway. To show what I great sister I was I put a hand of Ciel's shoulder and smiled sadly and I have to admit in all honesty that I was the better actor. Sebastian was excellent, but it was the perfect way he did everything that made it suspicious and Ciel just was a terrible actor.

Joker truly looked heartbroken when he heard that. 'Oh… Poor thing, with 'ee so young.' He touched Ciel's face with his fake hand before returning to fake smiles and fake happiness. 'Well, we're all damaged here, so let's all be friends!'

Okay, that was just too cheesy to be true. Did he really just say that?

While we walked back to the circus tent, Sebastian decided that the investigation had to go on. 'Did all the players join up during travels, like us?' he asked.

Joker seemed to think about it for a while, but even that seemed like an act. 'Most, yes, but we first-stringers all come from the same place. We like childhood friends.'

Well, that did explain his strange brother-relation with Dagger.

We walked passed the big guy, who I know remembered was called Jumbo, as he played the harmonica. He played a song that was clearly meant to be cheerful, but he played it so that it sounded sad.

And Ciel seemed to know the song. '"Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son"… Mother Goose?' he said as we reached the entrance of the circus tent.

Joker turned around before we could enter the tent, looking surprised. 'Oh, well spotted, Smile! Not too many know that song.'

Ciel didn't seem to come up with an answer, so I rolled my eyes and joined the conversation. 'My last master quite liked the song, that's how he knows it,' I told Joker, trying to act as believable as I could, even putting an arm around Ciel's shoulder. He immediately pulled away of course, but wasn't that something brothers would do as well?

Then Joker looked at Ciel with curious eyes and I saw that he _did _know Ciel from somewhere. Did he see his picture before, read a newspaper? Was our cover blown?

That was the moment when Sebastian distracted Joker. 'I must say,' he said, 'it surprises me that all your first-stringers are lifelong friends.'

'Oh?' Joker said, laughing, immediately covering up. It was almost funny how the fact that both groups were trying to hide something so badly that it kept the other one from finding out the other's secret. 'Snake's an exception, though. His snake-handling is tops and we needed a snake man, so he took the shortest road to the top.' He laughed. 'But he was some rival now that Whisper is here! I'm curious how Snake's snakes will react to you.'

'Rivals?' I asked, frowning.

'Ah,' Joker said in a agreeing voice. 'First-stringers get to eat first, so they don't have to fight tooth and nail for their food.'

Oh, great. That sounded like something to look forward to. I was sure Ciel liked that mental image.

'And first-stringers have their own tents,' Joker continued as he led us to the entrance into the circus tent. 'So everyone else has a friendly rivalry, trying to be first-string.' The circus tent revealed people training like they were before. More people were training now, though.

'See 'em all working?' Joker asked, clearly pleased. 'There's some time before we open, so the newcomers are all practicing, taking every moment they can, looking to earn their public debut.'

Just as he said that one girl fell from the trapeze and ended in the safety net.

Ciel looked amazed, but I just thought this looked like my gym classes. A complete nightmare.

'Everything starts from the basics!' Joker said cheerfully. 'You three get nice and ready before you—'

'Joker!' Beast entered the tent. 'Got a moment?'

'Sure,' Joker immediately said, making me frown. Something about the way those two talked seemed off. Not the kind of 'off' I thought to see between Dagger and Joker, but more like off 'off'. Kind of… awkward? Wait… was she blushing?

She didn't even give us a glance, clearly we were not worth it.

Joker followed her as she walked towards the exit again, almost as soon as she came. 'Right then,' Joker said while he waved as he waled off, 'work hard, you guys!'

_Possibility of romance between Joker and Beast. Current status: likely._

I gave Sebastian a quick look and he looked back with that burning eyes of his. Somehow I felt like he knew what I was thinking and he seemed to be on the same page as me.

I sighed. 'So… do you guys want to train a little bit?' I asked.

Ciel sighed as well. 'I'm afraid we'll get kicked out if we don't.'

Sebastian chuckled. 'Well, at least you two sound and look like you're having fun. Smile – smile!'

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**End of chater 37! I feel like nothing really happened in this chapter, but hopefully the next one will be more eventful! No word today because my brain isn't working yet, so yeah, thanks for reading, reviewing and all that stuff! And yeah, if you're going to lecture me about how awful it is as a modern day setting and that it isn't even allowed for children to join the circus, I'm just letting you know that there is a red haired gay female-like reaper who wants to have the demon-butler's babies. I think we'll live.**

**Guest: thank you! Ha ha, maybe I should always be sick when I'm writing, it goes much easier for some reason.**

**SilverMoonFairie: (response to 35 reaction) yeah, I probably would too. I wonder what he smells like… Hmm… (response to 36 reaction) ha ha, not sure whether that's a good thing or not.**

**DeathlyIceMaiden: maybe it's not really romance yet… well, you have to wait and see to find out, but I will try to keep everyone as faithful to their actual personalities as possible. And I just don't see Sebastian fall in love with a human and ****_if _****he does, it would at least take quite a while. So yeah, that was kind of my thoughts when I thought about their relationship. Maybe he will have a change of heart, maybe Clarissa will just realise that he has none to begin with.**

**promocat: true, I decided to not focus on it too much, otherwise I would just go crazy.**


	38. Chapter 38

**It's Saturday! Yay! Also, new chapter-day. Well, not really because the site if acting stupid and won't let me do anything, so that totally sucks. Hope I can still update before I go to sleep D: (as a matter of fact: I could not. So it's coming up today. Which is for some of you still Saturday. Maybe. I think.)**

**I'm not sure if everything that happens in this chapter is going to please you, but I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Also, I'm trying to write ahead and when I reach a hundred followers, I will try to update every day for a week. But maybe not immediately after I gained hundred followers, because school and homework. And sadly, I'm losing followers too, so maybe it will take longer… I don't know. Also, sorry for the typos: I have problems.**

**And very important****: I'm changing the title to 'An Awful Lot of Problems' not really the title I wanted, but I think the title now is just too long. So don't be shocked if 'Spare me the Trouble' is suddenly gone, because it has just changed its name, nothing else.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji (sadly enough), but I do own Clarissa.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 38**

As soon as Joker had left the circus tent, I said: 'I can't believe the entrance to the private quarters is a tent full of poisonous snakes…'

As Ciel seriously started to stretch, which wasn't such a bad idea seeing how people were staring at us, he added: 'Not guard dogs, but guard vipers, eh?' He said down and started to stretch in a weird way that I didn't understand why it would work. I sat down and did some yoga exercises.

Sebastian actually knelt down to _help _Ciel stretch. Jesus. 'Yes,' he said as he did that, 'I say, young master – or should I say 'Smile' – your muscles are very tight.'

I rolled my eyes. Geez. I wondered why the media thought they were a couple for a while.

'Keep your opinions to yourself!' Ciel said annoyed, but also sounding like Sebastian was hurting him. Then he got to the point again. 'I suppose we'll have to rise to the first string to access the private area.'

'Or we let Clarissa – or rather, 'Whisper' – handle the snakes while me investigate,' Sebastian said, clearly enjoying the idea of me in a tent full of deadly snakes. Bastard.

Ciel didn't agree. 'If you go for such a route if would be better if you handled the snakes. A few poisonous snakes should be no challenge for you.'

The smirk that appeared on my face because of what Ciel just said made Sebastian narrow his eyes.

I decided that I hadn't said anything for two long. 'Guys, what's important now is finding the children as soon as possible. So we need to know whether the children are here or—'

'They aren't here,' Sebastian interrupted me. He then gave me a sign to go something, so I decided to stretch myself. Yoga only looked cool for a little while.

'What?' Ciel asked, still sounding like this stretching of his hurts.

'I didn't sense them in the circus tents at all, either last night or during today's tour,' Sebastian answered, making me frown.

'Since when can you sense children?' I asked him, sounding more troubled than I should've sounded.

Sebastian looked at me with a look that I didn't understand, but it surely as hell was sexy. 'Children have very strong, uncontrolled emotions and I've seen the picture of those children, which also helps.'

Well, that clearly answered my question, but it only confused me more.

Then Sebastian stood up and pulled up Ciel, continuing to do stretching exercises. Now they were doing that thing that their arms were entwined and their backs were pressed together as the one pulled the other on its back and then the other way around. Of course Ciel couldn't lift Sebastian and of course Sebastian could do it with ease. It looked quite funny. 'Still,' Ciel said after a while, 'there's no proof that this circus _isn't_ involved in the disappearances, either. We can't leave here until we've thoroughly investigated them.'

I sighed. That sounded like it would take a while. And even though I had laughed at Ciel when he had seen the tents, I certainly didn't want to live in those either.

'Indeed,' Sebastian agreed, now leaning on Ciel's back as Ciel tried to lift the way too heavy demon. 'After all, it's possible that they aren't in a fit enough state for me to sense them.'

'Don't say such unlucky things,' Ciel said as he stood up straight and Sebastian started to lift him up. '_She _wished for their safe return.'

I looked at Sebastian as Ciel said that, unable to see Ciel. '_Qu—een fet—ish_,' I mouthed to Sebastian, making him chuckle in surprise.

'What?' Ciel asked, immediately annoyed.

Sebastian ignored that. 'Very good, my Lord. Ah, and although I don't sense the children…'

I saw Dagger entering the tent and walking up to us and I immediately alarmed Sebastian with my eyes.

Ciel didn't get that message, though. 'What is it?'

I saw how Dagger leaned over to Ciel, who was still laying on Sebastian's back, and laughed as I thought about what this would look like to Ciel. 'Hey, you! Quit stretching and get practicing!' Dagger said loud and cheerfully. He seemed to be okay with Sebastian now, even though he had touched 'Miss's fair and soft skin'.

'Mr Dagger!' Ciel said as Sebastian put him down. 'Right, sorry!'

Dagger just smiled at him. I stood up too, joining the conversation. 'It's your first day, right?' Dagger asked, as if he didn't know the answer. 'I'll coach you through practice. First, we need to decide what your acts will be.' He then pointed at me. 'You obviously need to do something with animals, but that's a sort of act that can only be practised when Beast is around, since she is the boss over the animals. So I guess you can just practice the basic circus tricks. And you, Smile.' He looked over at Ciel. 'Any requests?'

Ciel pulled a sour face. 'I'd prefer something less physical. _Greatly prefer._'

I held in a laugh, silently happy that I had nothing to do. It _did _remind me though that Ciel had left his walking stick somewhere. Geez, that kid really wasn't taking care of himself properly. Or maybe it had already healed. I wasn't sure if the doctor had said that it would heal or not and if it did, when. I should've written it down.

Dagger laughed. 'Yeah, you do seem pretty frail, especially with that leg of yours! Right then, I'll teach Smile all about knife-throwing.' He pulled out a few knives, seemingly out of nowhere. I had to admit; that was a pretty cool trick.

Dagger then turned to Sebastian. 'What about you, Black?'

'I have no particular preference,' he said innocently.

I rolled my eyes. _Mister perfect._

Dagger believed him of course. 'Yeah, you're a real athlete! Try whatever you think you can manage. I'll watch!'

Wait, weren't you going to learn Ciel – or 'Smile' – all about knife-throwing. How can you do that while watching Sebastian? That sounded a bit strange. And dangerous.

Ciel sighed as Sebastian said 'of course' before running off, doing almost all the possible circus tricks available in the tent.

Well, this _would _get him into a private tents, but he didn't have to do to such lengths, did he? Ciel seemed to think so too.

'Well, I'll be darned,' Dagger said after he had told Sebastian he could stop. '_Another_ bright new star? I'd better keep sharp!'

This alarmed all three of us. Me and Ciel said at the same time: '_Another?_'

'There's one more brilliant lad who just joined,' Dagger explained while the practicing circus artists who had stopped to watch Sebastian went back to their practice again. 'Look, over there!' Dagger pointed at the tightrope, only of the things Sebastian hadn't been able to do before Dagger stopped him.

We turned around to look, but even though Ciel and Sebastian made a soft noise that gave away that they knew the guy, I had never seen him.

'He's a former civil servant, or something, and he's strangely serious,' Dagger told us as we were observing the man.

Well, he clearly did not look like a circus artist and that wasn't because of the clothes, because the clothes were perfectly circuslike (purple pants and yellow jacket). The man just had a stern look, stern looking glasses and held himself like he was the Queen or something. And even from this distance I saw that his white skin was just as perfect as Sebastian's. The strangest thing about the man was the stick he was holding, which looked longer than he himself and had a strange sort of clipper on the end. It looked like a really big pruner, a gardening tool that my grandmother used to use. Not this long, though. He used the stick-thing to keep balance on the rope.

'Come down, Suit!' Dagger yelled.

'He's—' Ciel started, but Sebastian finished the sentence: 'A reaper.'

Oh, great. Another Grell. When did they meet _this _guy?

'If a reaper is here, one thing is certain,' Sebastian said, so soft that only me and Ciel could hear. 'And that is that soon, someone is sure to die.'

The reaper looked right at Sebastian and then at me, sighed and looked away. I wasn't sure what that reaction was supposed to mean. Then the man started to talk. 'Ah, yes, I thought I sensed something foul,' he said, loud enough for everyone in the circus tent to hear, but he didn't sound like he was raising his voice. 'For goodness's sake…' He swept his stick around and jumped down, pointed with the sharp end of the stick next to Sebastian head. 'I didn't think we'd meet again. What prey are you hunting for this time, you vile demon?'

My mouth went open. Not because this surprised me, but because this was the first time that I had met someone who knew Sebastian's identity and despised him for it. I mean, I could tell myself that I did in fact too, but I knew that that wasn't true. Ciel didn't seem to mind Sebastian's identity and Grell just thought it was sexy. This was sort of ground-breaking, this man who called a creature as handsome as Sebastian 'vile'.

People in the circus tent started to ask questions. 'Demon?' I heard a man's voice say. 'What does he mean?' a woman asked.

Ciel looked troubled, glaring over at Dagger, who just looked confused. I knew that no one was going to buy this crap, but Ciel didn't, apparently. 'Hey!' I said, crossing my arms. 'What are you on about?' I asked with a huge amount of sass in my voice, making Sebastian grin.

'As if it weren't bad enough that reapers are in such short supply, demons have to pop up everywhere, too?' the man said, clearly not done with being angry at Sebastian. 'And you even have the girl with you! I'll have to work yet _another _late night!'

He sounded like he knew a lot about reapers and demons… and about _me. _He called me 'the girl' as if that was just the way reapers addressed me. Perhaps I should ask him about demons. And maybe even ask him about myself.

The Dagger walked up to the man with a serious expression on his face. As Ciel gasped shocked I just shrugged, knowing that we had nothing to fear.

And I was right, of course. Dagger just gave the reaper a friendly smack. 'You say your gags with such a straight face, people can't tell they're gags!' he told the reaper.

The people present in the circus tent just started to laugh and Ciel sighed a relieved sigh.

'This guy has been cracking jokes since the day he got here,' Dagger tells us, almost in an apologetic voice. 'Going on about "souls" and stuff. He's an incurable occult freak!'

The reaper pulled his glasses up and I just noticed how beautiful his eyes were. A green colour that I had never seen before. I even thought that his eyes were more beautiful than Sebastian's eyes, or even Drossel's. And yeah, I had to admit that he was pretty attractive as well. 'I'm not joking, though,' the reaper said, but he got ignored.

'Let me introduce you to the new rookies!' Dagger said. 'The little boy is Smile, the little girl is Whisper and the big one is Black!'

Little girl? I was almost as tall as he was! Okay no, not really, but it still sort of hurt.

Dagger look from the reaper to Sebastian as he said: 'You two are our rising starts, so play nice, all right?'

The reaper looked at me for a while before turning around walking away. 'I flatly refuse to play nice with vermin,' he told Dagger as he walked off.

'"Flatly refuse?!"' Dagger repeated angry. 'Circuses run on teamwork, you know!' But the reaper wasn't listening.

'What is a grim reaper doing here?' Ciel asked quietly.

'It's rare for a reaper to go undercover himself, as well,' Sebastian said, not answering Ciel's question. Probably because he didn't know the answer. 'Still, this tells us one thing for certain. There's definitely something going on in this circus.'

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'Why am I here, you ask?' The reaper – who I will call 'Joe' until I'm brave enough to ask his name – said. Me, Sebastian and 'Joe' were standing just outside the main circus tent, near the now empty vans, cars and trucks, where no one else was, because they were empty. It had already become dark outside and I started to feel hungry. When were we going to get food?

Ciel wasn't here because Dagger had taken him with him to learn him knife-throwing. I was here because I just followed them.

'To think I, an administrator, would be impressed into field duty to clean up after a certain prat in Collections while he's suspended! I curse my luck,' Joe said. 'I didn't think graduating with him entailed traveling round fixing his mistakes.'

I didn't understand anything he was saying but I supposed that was logical, so I just kept my mouth shut.

'I assume that a grim reaper personally doing undercover work implies special circumstances?' Sebastian asked, clearly trying to get more information out of him.

Too bad for Sebastian, because this man was way too smart to fall for that. 'Do you really think I'd reveal soul-related information to a demon? That would be like setting rabbits loose in front of a wolf.'

Sebastian just smiled innocently and shook his head. 'I'm afraid I have no interest in cheap souls.'

That kind of confused me. Cheap? Did souls cost anything? And what made Ciel's soul expensive, then?

'Fine words for a starving demon,' Joe said, making me frown. I saw Sebastian giving me a glare, almost trying to scare me away just by looking. I knew that whatever 'Joe' was saying next was something that I wasn't allowed to know. 'I know you're half-mad with hunger.'

Wait a second… WHAT? 'Wait,' I said, walking closer to 'Joe'. 'I thought demons fed on human emotions, that souls were just… tastier dinner.'

'Joe' looked at Sebastian with disgusted eyes. 'What kind of vile lies have you told the girl?' he asked him.

Again, that way he spoke about me just sounded like he knew me.

'Joe' then looked at me. 'Demons need human souls. Just like you need water _and _food. You can live for a while without both, you can live a while with just one of those two, but if you do that for a too long period of time, you die.' 'Joe' readjusted his glasses. 'Demons are just the same.'

Sebastian smiled, his eyes glowing and his teeth clearly sharper than usual. I walked closer to 'Joe' a bit, because he really did look very hungry. 'I've long since tired of ripping into every soul I see. The hungrier one is, the more satisfying one's dinner.'

I shivered and even grabbed 'Joe's sleeve out of fear. This did not look like Sebastian anymore. This looked like a demon. And for the first time in a while, I truly realised what that meant. I had forgotten it, let my guard down. I had started to trust him. So I was somehow glad that I was here now, to see that this monster was something I couldn't defeat. And something I couldn't love either.

'How perverse,' 'Joe' said, still as disgusted as before. Maybe even more now.

Sebastian closed his eyes for a short second as his human features seemed to come back, the demon was gone. 'Not as perverse as your temp worker,' he told the reaper, making me realise they were talking about Grell. 'And you can rest easy. I'm on a lead at the moment.' He took his glove off and showed the mark on his hand, to prove that he had a contract with Ciel.

That seemed to convince 'Joe'. Of what exactly, I wasn't sure. 'Very well,' he said. 'I'll speak plainly. In the next few days, we plan to review a large number of souls in this area. This is a very special case, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't interfere.'

Sebastian tilted his head to the side, looking as innocent as he could in the dark. 'That sounds very taxing. Why don't I assist you?'

That alarmed 'Joe'. He pointed the sharp end of his stick at Sebastian again, this time much more threatening. 'I can't abide unpaid overtime. If you interfere, I'll cut you down.' He pulled his stick-thing back.

'I don't associate with reapers for the fun of it in any case,' Sebastian said and something about his innocent act was creepy now that I had seen such a devilish side of him. I knew I had told him that I didn't necessarily wanted to see him in demon form, I was curious now. What would it look like? I bet it would look hideous. I bet that if I laid eyes on his demon form I would come to disgust him as much as this reaper-guy. And then Sebastian didn't have any power over me anymore. Well, that sounded like a good plan.

Then, almost as if Sebastian had read my mind, his expression became dark and devious again. 'Especially as I have no interest in cheap souls.'

'Oi!' a familiar voice shouted. Ciel approached the scene. 'The show's about to start. That obnoxious knife-thrower wants to speak to you.' I wasn't sure who of us he meant, but I was pretty sure I wasn't it.

'Joe' observed Ciel better now, looking at him from head to toe before sighing and adjusting his glasses again. 'He doesn't look like a high class choice to me,' he said, cheering me up just a little bit. 'Really, I'll never understand demons.'

Ciel frowned. 'Don't call him that here. They took it as a joke earlier, but still. If you can't blend in with humans, you're worse than that ginger riff-raff.'

'Indeed,' Sebastian said, his voice still cold and frightening. 'Now, we won't interfere with your work and you won't interfere with ours, agreed?'

'Joe's eyebrow twitched as he responded. 'Excellent, since I despise the very sight of you.'

'Perfect,' Ciel said, not even a little bit scared by his butler's strange behaviour. He even smiled, even though it wasn't a happy smile. It was his 'oh gosh, I'm so fantastic, smart and perfect'-smile. 'Then it's decided: we'll stay out of each other's way.'

'Well then, Smile,' 'Joe' then said, 'please keep your little dog firmly reined in. Also,' he pointed the stick at Sebastian once more. 'Leave the girl alone. As long as I'm here, you're not allowed to do anything to her that I find displeasing.' He readjust his glasses again. 'She even smells like you. It's disgusting.'

This made me frown, but also smile a little inside. It was great to know that at least someone was still protecting me. Ciel just frowned and looked over at Sebastian, who didn't react nor response.

Ciel sighed. 'Very well, I'll order him to do just that. Let's go, Sebastian,' he said as he walked away.

Sebastian followed him. 'Certainly.'

I didn't follow them. I stayed there with the reaper. 'What's your name?' I asked him.

He made a polite bow. 'William T Spears, but now known as Suit.'

'Aha,' I said, giving him a kind smile. 'Nice to meet you, Suit. I'm Whisper. And… thanks for standing up for me. Sebastian does sometimes bother me a little bit.'

Suit pulled up his chin a tiny bit. 'Well, demons are certainly dirty creatures, so I suppose it's only natural for them to mess with creatures like you.'

'You mean, humans like me?' I said, trying to ask another question than I was actually asking.

'No,' he said, 'he does way more vile things to the human soul than he will ever be able to do to yours. At least, I hope so.' He looked at me sharp before walking passed me, towards the big circus tent where visitors were now entering for tonight's show. 'Take good care of yourself, Clarissa,' he told me. 'And look out for those not to be trusted.'

And as I stood there in the dark between trucks I wondered what he'd meant, not even wondering how he'd known my real name. I was started to believe that I was famous in the world of the reapers, demons and other creatures. The bummer was that I still had no clue why.

But maybe Suit would put an end to that.

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**End of chapter 38! Today's word is 'bear' because I'm running out of options. Dutch: beer. Japanese: Kuma. So that was that.**

**Jacelover103: thank you! And see, I'm updating more! Hope you liked this chapter as well!**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey peoples, wrote this chapter right after the previous one, so not much to say except for: I don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

**And I've reached a hundred followers! :D**

**And I know I've said that I will upload every day for a week because of that, but give me some time to make that happen; I will announce it when I do so. Maybe I won't even do it, I'm not sure. Writing a chapter takes me more time than you would think, so yeah, I'm not sure.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 39**

During the show the newcomers – which meant we and the reaper guy (it felt strange to call him 'Suit', but I guess I had to) – were responsible for the lifting of heavy stuff and Ciel was lucky enough that I was worried about him, because I made him only carry the extremely light stuff. When the show was finally over, we got some food before Joker called us to tell us where we would be sleeping.

And seeing how all the newcomers were guys I assumed that I was probably going to sleep in a room with boys. Great. Hope it will not be Sebastian.

'And now, the moment you're all been waiting for!' Joker said happy, sounding as if he thought this was still part of the show. 'It's the tent assignments! The results of our impartial lottery: Smile, 'ee be in Tent Eight, together with Whisper.' He pointed at the boy-like girl who was standing next to him. 'And here's thy roommate!'

The girl gave us a little polite smile, but I felt like I'd seen her before. Well, that wasn't strange since we had been in this circus for a day now.

'Also,' Joker said, 'since thee be brother and sister, 'ee'll be sleeping in the same bed for now, since we do not have enough matrasses. Okeey?'

Me and Ciel looked at each other before starting to protest.

'Wait a moment, I can't just sleep on the same matrass as her!' Ciel said, while I said: 'We're too old for that! We'll never even fit!'

'Ah, ah,' Joker said, ' 'ee seemed to have such a close relationship that I do not see the problem.'

No, of course you didn't. You didn't know we weren't brother and sister!

Joker just went back to his list, ignoring the grumpy way Ciel looked and the upset way I looked. 'Black, 'ee be in Tent Nine.'

This shocked Ciel even more. He jumped of off the crate he had been sitting on, pointing at Sebastian as if it was his most precious thing. 'Seba—Black isn't rooming with me?!' he asked upset. It was clear that he thought he wouldn't be able to live without Sebastian.

'No, why?' Joker said, not getting it. 'I mean, I thought you would like to stay with your sister, and sleep in a tent with people around your age is more fitting. Tent Eight is full and Tent Nine is also full, since that's only a two-person tent.'

Dagger was the only one who managed to laugh in this kind of situation. 'Smile, you're fairly tied to Black's apron strings! Time to be independent!'

Yeah, because sleeping in the same bed as his 'sister' was like the top of independence, right?

Ciel tried to smile, but it just looked uncomfortable. 'Th-That's not what I…'

Joker ignored the little seen. 'And Black's roommate is… Suit!'

If this night had been cold, it was now freezing. 'Suit' and 'Black' just stared at each other in horror, clearly rather dying than sharing a room with each other.

Joker laughed. 'Look, they're delighted! Right, let's be off, Dagger. We'll leave the young lads to it! Good night!' he said as he walked off, ignoring Ciel's attempt to stop him.

'Good night!' Dagger said while following Joker, leaving me, Sebastian, Suit, Ciel and that tomboy alone in the dark. Not that it was actually dark, they had put lights everywhere, but still, it felt like this particular part of the camp was a lot darker than the rest of the camp.

But I didn't think that was the fault of bad lighting.

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'Say,' the tomboy said as she climbed up the wooden stairs. 'Can I take the top bed?'

Well, seeing how you've already taken it… Also, I think that either me or Ciel would fall off of that bed, so it was for the better.

'Be my guest,' me and Ciel said at the same time. I carried mine and Ciel's suitcase into the tent and put them next to each other.

The tomboy laughed. 'You really are brother and sister, aren't you?' she said laughing.

The tent was pretty nice as far as tents go. It had a crate, a wooden desk with a wooden chair, the bed and a single, small light that was shining bright enough to lighten up the whole tent.

'So, I've been noticing all day – you speak really proper English!' clearly she was only talking to Ciel. 'But your sister doesn't.'

Ciel smiled nervously, clearly still not good at acting innocent. 'D-Do I? I've lived in the same house as Earl's and Duke's for most of my life because sis served them, so perhaps that's why.' That didn't explain why I didn't speak like that though.

So I opened my mouth. 'I don't because I refuse to sound even remotely like those arrogant, spoiled, lazy people who treat people like me as garbage,' I said, crossing my arms.

'Oh?' the girl asked, but she didn't ask anything else, so I supposed me were convincing enough. 'Well, ask me any circus question! I've been doing this longer than you guys.'

'All right,' me and Ciel said on the same time again. Ciel sat down on the bed while I took the wooden chair.

'Ah, I know. I'll give you two one of these to celebrate our meeting!' she said happy, leaning her head over the side of the top bed, looking down on us. She showed us three big lollipops. Lollipops I immediately recognized.

They were Funtom sweets.

'Top-of-the-line Funtom sweets. They're all the rage!' she said as she handed all three of them to us, giving us an option on which flavour we wanted. 'There's caramel, milk and strawberry. Which do you want?'

The expression on Ciel's face as he grabbed the caramel flavoured one was priceless and I again wished that I had taken my phone with me to take a picture.

I grabbed the strawberry one and the girl pulled herself up again, sounding content as she said: 'You know, the first time I ate one of these, I honestly though, "I didn't know something could taste this good!"'

I gave Ciel a mocking smile and he just rolled his eye as a reaction. I went to sit next to him on the bed, not really sure why, but it did feel less awkward.

'Say, Smile, Whisper… training might be rough, but do your best. If you do your job right, you won't get yelled at or punched. And you can eat as many sweets and biscuits as you want.'

Wait… so if you don't do your best they will yell and punch? Yikes.

Then suddenly, the girl jumped down. 'I just realised I have to finish one of the duties I had to take care of!' she says, giving us a little smile. 'You two should go to sleep. Don't wait for me, I might take long.' And then she ran into the night, disappearing without another word.

I sighed. 'I'm tired, but I _really _do not want to sleep on this crappy matrass with you! And under the same blanket! Why is there only one blanket!'

'Stop whining,' Ciel said, 'this isn't the ideal situation for me either, but we need rest.' Then he pulled a face. 'Could you maybe… help me with changing?' He blushed. 'Not to any strange measurements, but I'm not used to change myself.'

He looked kind of sad and even though I would rather have said 'no', I knew that I couldn't do that. He needed me, even if it was for something as stupid as this.

'Okay.'

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Awkward. That was all this was. The matrass was so small that me and Ciel's face were only inches away from each other. We both clearly felt to awkward to turn around, so we just kind of stared into each other's eyes.

I decided to just close my eyes and pretend like this wasn't really happening. I was just laying in my own bed, in my own room…

'Clarissa?'

Well, shit. He broke my illusion. I opened my eyes again. 'Yes, Ciel?'

Ciel almost looked to scared when he said: 'Do you think Sebastian is right in wanting to kill you? Should I just let him kill you? You seem so innocent, but everyone treats you like you're the freaking Messiah or something.'

I chuckled softly. 'Believe me, I have absolutely no idea what that is about, either.' I sighed then suddenly sad. 'And I don't think there's a possible way for me to convince you of my innocence. There is nothing to be said or done, nothing I can think of anyway.'

'Hmm,' was Ciel's only reaction. He had taken off his eye patch and was looking at me with both eyes open now, something I really was used to seeing. But he closed his eyes before I could have a better look and soon his calm breath told me that he was asleep.

I wasn't tired yet, though. And I was curious whether Sebastian felt any connection with Ciel's eye right now. Sebastian couldn't sleep either. Would he just be bored the whole night? Well, I guess he goes and does what he normally does during the nights anyway.

Now that Ciel had his eyes closed and was breathing so calmly, I once again realised how young he was. Just a kid. Or a teenager, seeing as he _was _already fifteen years old. Could a fifteen year old boy really be as wise, smart, calm and restrained as Ciel often was? The way the clumsily acted today showed that he really was a teenager, but most of the time he sounded much older, much wiser. What had those eyes seen?

I touched him before I even made the decision to do so. I stroked his cheek, my fingertips touched his small and soft skin and felt his hair. His skin and hair didn't feel nearly as perfect, but it was soothing to finally touch a human after so long. It made me feel sane again, like everything what was going on was really happening. One of my fingertips touched his ear and then his eyes opened. And the way he looked at me made me feel like he had just pretended to be asleep.

He grabbed my wrist, but didn't pull my fingers away from his face. 'What are you doing?' he asked, his voice filled with a strange emotion.

I just stared back at him, into those fascinating eyes and said the most ridiculous thing I could have said. 'You're beautiful,' I told him and I could just slap myself for saying that. I shook my head. 'No, that wasn't what I was going to say, it's just that—'

The blush on Ciel's face made me stop talking. He looked incredible flustered and more confused and unsure than I'd ever seen him. I had to keep myself from laughing.

Then Ciel finally turned around, making me face the back of his head. 'Go to sleep, Clarissa,' he said, sounding like his normal, bored and annoyed, self again.

I smiled and closed my eyes, suddenly feeling sleepy. 'You can just call me Clary, you know,' was the last thing I said before sleep made me unable to say another word.

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'Oi. Oi!'

I opened my eyes to kill the person who had dares to wake me up at the same moment I heard Ciel mumble: 'Sebastian?'

I looked over at the person standing beside our bed. The tomboy. I then realised that we were still at the circus and cancelled my murder plans. 'What are you on about?! Wake up!' she said.

Then Ciel seemed to realise what was going on too and he immediately covered his eye, not sure where he'd put the eye-patch last night.

Then we both realised that we were hugging each other, something that had happened while we were asleep and we shot out of the bed, as if we were scared of the other. I found his eye-patch and handed it to him and he quickly tied it, completely wrong and clumsy, I might add.

'Awake at last!' the tomboy said. 'Newcomers have to get up early and make breakfast. No hanging about!'

I moaned. That didn't sound like fun at all.

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Seeing everyone working for the breakfast together did made me feel better. It was a charming thing to see, so when me and Ciel were put in the potato-team, I immediately went to work. I had cooked for my father and I ever since I was small, so such a task was no problem for me. But it clearly was for Ciel. Who was also wearing his clothes all wrong.

I finished up my share of the potatoes and stood up. 'You look like a mess,' I told him as I walked up behind him to re-do his eye-patch, since he had put it on in a disastrous way. 'After I finish cleaning you up I'll take over your duty, so don't sweat yourself. I know this must be though for you.'

Ciel looked like he wanted to say something stubborn, but then he just mumbled 'thank you'.

I smiled as I took over his knife. 'No problem, dear.'

Then I noticed that our roommate and a few others laughed. 'Smile, Whisper isn't your mum, you know!' the tomboy said laughing.

'No—It's just a habit—I mean, a coincidence!' Ciel said upset. I knew he'd let me help him so easily because he was used to Sebastian helping him. Then he turned to me and whispered. 'Make sure to remind me to tell Sebastian to not treat me as his master around here.'

I grinned as I started to cut his potatoes. 'Yes, my Lord.'

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I didn't really get to see Ciel of my other roommate the rest of the day. I didn't get to see much of Sebastian either. Beast helped me practice with the animals – all the animals except the snakes. They all came pretty easy to me, which made Beast angry, probably out of jealousy. The only one who wasn't as obedient as normal was Betty, who seemed very very tired.

After that I was one of the people who had to boil the cold water so people could wash themselves. It didn't really bother me that I couldn't see Sebastian all day and I was actually having fun, but I couldn't help but worrying about Ciel, since I knew that this couldn't possibly be easy for him. I just hoped people would spare him a little.

While I finished up bringing the hot water to the bathing place I actually saw Sebastian. 'Hey, you look familiar!' I said mockingly, still in a good mood. With being awfully cheerful I tried to hide the fact that he was kind of creeping me out since yesterday. Hope he didn't notice that, otherwise he might feel like he needed to change my opinion again and I was quite sure that I wasn't going to like the method he was going to use to achieve that. 'Are you in charge of the towels today?'

He just gave me a smile in return for my not-really-funny joke. 'Yes, I suppose I am. How is your first real day at the circus going?'

I smiled. 'It's much more fun than I thought it would be!' I told him, really surprised that we were actually having a normal conversation. 'How about you?'

'I'm enjoying myself thoroughly,' he said, not a hundred percent serious. He then frowned. 'I do believe young master is having some trouble though.'

That made me frown as well. 'I have to bring one more bottle of hot water to the kitchen tent and then I'll look for him, okay? No offensive, but you aren't really good at the whole 'caring for a child'-thing. At least not in a way a human would do it.' And then I walked passed him and left him there completely speechless.

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I found Ciel a short while later, at the trucks. There weren't any fires or other devices they had in the camp to keep it warm here and he was also soaking wet. He had his legs pulled up and his arms wrapped around them, his face hidden away.

'What happened to you?' I asked, but then I saw his shoulders shock and I concluded that he was probably crying.

When he did not answer me, I just sat next to him on the incredibly cold ground. 'You know, I always hated school because I was bullied and good in nothing. It was a place where I couldn't shine.' A sad smile appeared on my face. 'Maybe this is your place where you're unable to shine. And that's fine. But you always fascinate me because of your strength, Ciel. Don't lose your strength.'

When he didn't answer me, I just sighed and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a forced but loving hug, trying to warm this cold little boy up. I had to admit that this vulnerable Ciel frightened me. If Ciel lost his way, I would have no one left to follow.

'My oh my, you will catch a cold, my Lord,' a voice said after a while.

I released Ciel and looked into Sebastian's red eyes and again there was a strange connection when our eyes locked. As if we could look into each other's minds and see what we were thinking. He had understand what I had said about caring the way a human would and was trying his best now and I was thinking about how I was glad he'd actually listened.

Sebastian wrapped a towel around Ciel's shivering body and gave me a towel as well, since my hug with Ciel had also made me kind of wet. 'I've brought a change of clothes,' he told Ciel, who was still not looking up.

Then, finally, Ciel spoke. 'Enough…'

I frowned. Me and Sebastian exchanged a quick look. 'Pardon?' Sebastian asked politely.

Then Ciel finally looked up and his whole face was full of rage. That was kind of unexpected. 'I've had enough! I'll go mad if I keep living like this!' He buried his face in his legs again, but now I understood that he used anger to hide his despair and weakness.

And then Sebastian threw everything that I thought I had learned him out of the window and went for it the demon-way. 'Goodness me. Giving up already? Your fortitude ran dry fast. It's not like you let such trifles drive you mad, young master.'

There was a quick second in which Ciel inhaled sharply and his eye became small and he looked like he wasn't really there for a second. Then he was back, but not in the same state that he'd been in before that strange bit of trauma.

I watched this whole thing frowning, knowing that this was about the event that had caused Ciel to summon Sebastian. An event that only the two of them knew about. Probably.

'Not like me, eh?' Ciel said, the trip on his clothes tightening. Then he shot up, making drops of water fall on me and Sebastian. 'Quite right,' he said and he sounded like the arrogant Earl Phantomhive again. I had to admit, even though I didn't approve of his methods, Sebastian had done good.

'I'm the head of the Phantomhive House,' Ciel went on, 'naturally it's not _like me _to live this way. We'll get this over with and leave at once!' He looked at us with a serious look in his eyes, clearly determined to make his words true.

'Very good,' Sebastian said, but I didn't say anything.

Because I was starting to doubt if Sebastian was trying to make Ciel stronger or break him down and let him fall into the pits of despair.

And all of that just to satisfy his appetite.

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**So, that was the chapter! I'm not really happy with this one, I wanted to make sure that everyone knows that Ciel isn't really comfortable around Clarissa, not because of any romance stuff (necessarily) but because he isn't used to being close to a girl. At least... not a girl from around his age who acts normal and who isn't a childhood friend of his. So yeah.**

**Let's go for the word 'red' today. Not only because of Sebastian's pretty eyes, but also because it's my favorite colour! Red is Dutch is 'rood' and in Japanese... err... was it 'aka'? I thought it was aka. Please correct me if I'm wrong.**

**PyrroLou: Ha ha, I saw what I did! Lol, I'm still sick so I forgive myself for using the Dutch word. And thanks! I love William and really wanted to use him in Clarissa's own story as well. So sad that the circus arc is already (almost) halfway through; I enjoy writing him and the other circus artists.**

**belbovino: Aww, thank you so much! Well, since Clarissa is kind of the run and hide-type, she is probably going to pretend like she didn't see it. But I do think she will be less kind to him...**

**promocat: you have to keep reading to find out ;) It's not something you can really guess though... I'm not even sure it was a good idea either. I just liked the idea, so I used it. Hope you will like what she really is once you find out :)**


	40. Chapter 40

**Wow, chapter 40 already! This story is so much longer than I thought it was, I'm actually a bit proud! Heh heh.**

**I wrote this because I was bored, so yeah, I'm updating. Not sure if this chapter is awesometacular though...**

**Thanks for everyone who helped me with my Japanese! I also love getting help :D**

**Also, thank you for reading and reviewing and all that good stuff! I love to hear about your opinions!**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 40**

'Now if we can just search the first-stringers' tents, we can go home,' Ciel said while Sebastian was helping him change.

I stood with my back turned towards them trying to feel less awkward. Which was impossible, but hey, at least I tried.

'I'd planned to quietly work our way up the ladder,' Ciel went on, 'but I can't spend that much time under these conditions. I'm at my limit.'

'Personally, I'd find brute force easier than infiltration, since the reaper keeps me from moving freely at night,' Sebastian explained.

I held in a laugh when I thought about how the reaper would have kept him from moving around freely at night. I bet it was hilarious.

'The reaper's presence doesn't prove them guilty, though,' I said, crossing my arms while I hoped that they were almost done.

'Quite true,' Ciel agreed. 'Behave yourself,' he then said, clearly talking to Sebastian.

'Very good,' Sebastian said after a while, but it didn't sound like he agreed to that. He sounded like he just wanted to kill everyone and be done with it.

'The time to strike is during a show, while they're all away from their tents,' Ciel said. Then he added: 'You can look again, by the way.'

I turned around and saw him sitting on a crate next to one of the trucks, wearing dry clothes and wrapped in a blanket. I went to sit next to him on the big crate while he said: 'First I need a way to slip free of the freckled chap who tails me everywhere.'

Wait… did he mean or roommate? 'Cause that was a girl though…

Sebastian kneeled down to put on Ciel's dry socks and then shoes while Ciel said: 'If I can't go, there's no point.' Then he pulled up the blanket even more, almost as if he was trying to hide his face. 'I want to get home and eat something sweet,' he finally said, making me laugh and Sebastian smile.

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><p>XxX<p>

That evening I was asked to help the technicians before, during and after the show, so I didn't see Sebastian or Ciel before the show started.

But then I saw Sebastian perform on stage, which was quite odd. He was performing together with Suit, but since that man refused to touch him, it wasn't really that entertaining. But then suddenly Sebastian looked down, at where I saw Beast walk out of the circus tent. When I looked back at him, it looked like he was trying to give me a sigh. A sigh I did not understand. See, this is why they should keep me updated on their plans!

'_Ciel is in Beast's tent,' _someone yelled inside my mind, but it sure as hell didn't sound like Sebastian.

Then I suddenly got the hint and ran towards the exit, ignoring the technicians who were screaming at me, ordering me to come back. Ai, I probably would get kicked out of the circus for this. Well, too bad.

I ran towards the private tents, skilfully avoiding Beast while she walked towards her tent, and found Ciel in one of the tent.

Ciel just looked at me kind of angry and only a little bit shocked. 'What are you—'

I grabbed him and pulled him under the bed, ignoring the fact that our bodies were pressed together even more than they had been this morning. Only seconds after that I heard Beast entering the tent.

'This is so irritating,' she sighed while I put a hand on Ciel's mouth to keep him quiet. 'I _liked _this one!'

I covered Ciel's eye when I saw from under the bed that she was taking her clothes off, trying to keep in a surprised gasp.

'Well, this will do,' she said softly, putting on something that looked exactly the same to me, but who was I to judge.

Then Beast walked away and I breathed out relieved.

Then Ciel said: 'Oi, let me go!' But he didn't really sound angry as much as embarrassed.

I let go of him and helped him up. 'Ah, sorry, sorry.' Then I sighed, feeling more relieved than I had ever felt. 'Found anything important?' I asked the same moment Sebastian came rushing in, looking surprised when he saw us there standing in the middle of the tent.

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><p>XxX<p>

'I see,' Sebastian said. 'So you think the photographs are important, then?' Sebastian asked.

'Yes,' Ciel answered, handing one of the pictures in Beast's tent to Sebastian. 'Do you notice anything?'

'Ah, yes,' Sebastian said almost immediately. He put the picture down a nudge so I that it was a photo of a young Beast and kind-looking man, with round glasses and a moustache. Sebastian pointed at the ring the man was wearing. 'I've seen the imprint from this signet ring recently.'

Me and Ciel both looked at the photo confused. 'Signet ring? Imprint? You can make out details that small?' I asked.

'Yes,' Sebastian said, as if it was only logical.

'Wow,' I said, not holding back my true opinion. 'That's cool. I'm impressed.'

Sebastian looked at me in complete surprise. 'You think so?' he asked.

I nodded, not sure why he would question me. 'Yes, that's quite impressive.'

A cute, proud little smile appeared on Sebastian's face. 'Well, thank you!' he said, clearly happy with this compliment.

'Sebastian,' Ciel said, clearly annoyed. 'The signet ring?'

'Ah, yes. It matches the seal at the point of Beast's prosthetic leg,' Sebastian explained.

Ciel put a hand to his chin in his normal thoughtful pose. 'The seal, the workhouse… We need to know more about this man.'

Sebastian put the picture back and took his pocket watch out of his pocket. 'It's almost time,' he said. 'Let's stop here for today. I must free the snakes before the encore.'

'I still have Joker's tent left,' Ciel said resolute.

This made both me and Sebastian worried. 'But, Ciel…' I stuttered while Sebastian said: 'But, my Lord…'

'I should manage it if I work through the encore,' Ciel said determined. 'I'll end it all today.' Then he turned towards us. 'You two need to go back so they won't suspect us.' Then he looked over at Sebastian. 'When it's over, get back here before they do and free the snakes. Got that?' Ciel asked before running off.

'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, knowing that Ciel couldn't hear him anymore.

I sighed. 'Well, let's get back then. But go ahead and do so in your superhuman speed. It will be suspicious if we arrive back at the circus tent at the same moment.'

I wasn't even finished talking or Sebastian was gone. Well, it wasn't as if I didn't want him to go, but it did make me sigh.

Then I also left the tent and went back to the big circus tent, where Suit was standing, clearly waiting for me. 'Good evening,' I said kindly, wanting him to trust and respect me so that maybe I could get more information out of him.

'I told the staff that you were going to the bathroom,' Suit said, 'they were asking where you were.'

Ah, fantastic. It _did _have some profits to have a reaper for a friend. 'Oh. Thank you so much. Ciel would have gotten really angry if I got kicked out of the circus now.'

Suit readjusted his glasses and shook his head. 'You are a fool. A human fool, I might add. I should've known, but I somehow expected you to be smart enough to stay away from the demon and its master.'

I frowned, not sure why he was saying this _now._ 'I'm sorry, what do you mean?'

Suit sighed. 'Well, I guess it is logical that unnatural attracts unnatural, but it sure is dangerous. I don't see why no one is allowed to rescue you.' He looked at me and his beautiful eyes looked scary in that one moment when he said: 'If no one helps you, you're going to get eaten.'

I breathed in sharply. 'I know,' I said, surprising the man.

'What?' he asked me, clearly confused.

'I said that I know already. But if I were to get eaten to save Ciel, even if he doesn't want to be saved, I'm fine with it. Even if he doesn't want to live for himself, he was Elizabeth to live for. And he has to live for _me_. I don't care if he'll hate me for saving him, but if there's a way, I get him out the demon's claws before it is too late.' Then I walked away, to the circus tent to apologize to the technicians.

'It might already be too late for that, my lady,' was the last thing I heard Suit say.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I went to look for Ciel right after the show and found him near the private tents, at the back of the circus. He was talking with the girl in white. Doll… Wait… Doll!

'Why did you help me?' Ciel asked as I walked up to them.

'You still don't get it?' Doll asked as she took of her wig, revealing the brown hair of our roommate. 'It's me?'

I stood next to Ciel as she did that, mouthed 'are you okay?' but getting no answer because Ciel was too busy staring at Doll with open mouth. 'Freckles?!' Ciel said, pointing at the girl.

'Hey, that's not a very nice name to call me!' she said, clearly insulted. Then she looked at me. 'Also, hi, Whisper. I should've known that you were also involved in this.'

Wait… involved in what?

Ciel still looked shocked. 'Y-You're a bloke who wears dressed onstage?' he asked.

I laughed and put an arm around his shoulder. 'She is a girl… though?' I said, smiling mockingly, then frowning. Why was Ciel breathing so strangely?

'You're very rude! I'm a genuine maid, I'll have you know! Whisper knew it!' Doll said. Then she frowned. 'So, what were you doing there? They must've told you it was dangerous.'

'Well…' Ciel started, clearly not sure how to defend himself. Just as I opened my mouth to cover for him, he threw himself on the ground in a rather heart-breaking performance. 'I'm sorry! But I swear I haven't stolen anything today! I promise! Please don't chase me out!'

I repressed a smile Playing thief, huh? Smart plan. I played along. 'I'm sorry. He always does that. That's why so many masters have fired me over time. Because my little brother can't keep his hands of treasure. I went to search for him because I was scared that he was stealing again.'

'I know I shouldn't steal, but I just can't shake old habits!' Ciel added desperately. His performance was pretty impressive, I must say. 'I have always been with my sister! If the circus turns me out, I have nowhere to go!'

It was quiet for a while, but I saw Doll's expression soften and sighed relieved. We were save. 'You swear you didn't take anything?' she asked.

'Yes!' Ciel said loudly. 'I swear to God!'

Doll sighed, but believed him. 'Well, all right. It's fine. I owe you one anyhow. We've all got our secrets, right? So what I did earlier was wrong…'

I frowned. _What had she done earlier? Did it have anything to do with him being all wet?_

The smile on her face was so sad but honest that it made me feel really bad for lying to her all the time. 'So I'll keep this quiet. Now we're even. But no more sneaking about!'

'Right!' me and Ciel agreed. Then I decided to ask the question. 'Say… if you are a first-stringer, why are you sharing a tent with us?' I asked.

'Well, I don't like staying by myself,' she answered. 'I sleep better when someone's with me.' Then she looked worried. 'But you guys will still rook with me even though I'm first-string, won't you?'

I gave her a soft smile, but it felt fake and horrible. 'Of course,' I said friendly.

'Yes!' Ciel said, clearly back to his horrible acting skills.

She sighed a relieved sigh. 'Good. Then, what happened here stays between us,' she said, handing Ciel her hand. He shook it kindly, but I saw in his face the fake promise.

I could see his face and almost _hear _his thoughts in my head.

_Words are cheap. Humans lie without a second thought. Including me, of course._

Then Doll walked off and soon after that, Ciel started to cough, making me frown a worried frown again. He was also quite red and even sweaty. Which was really strange considering that it was freezing cold out here. 'Are you sick, Ciel?' I asked. 'Did you catch a cold?'

When I reached out with my hand to help him, he smacked my hand away. 'I'm fine,' he said, still coughing. 'We need to get to Sebastian's tent. I need to speak to him.'

I nodded and we started to walk.

The walk didn't help him though, he kept coughing until we reached the tent and opened it. 'You knew I was still there when you freed the snakes, didn't you, you bastard?!' Ciel said to Sebastian as soon as we entered the tent. He coughed after those words, clearly not ready to speak yet.

When I heard that I crossed my arms and looked at Sebastian angry, waiting for his response.

'Yes,' Sebastian said, smiling humoured. 'You _did_ order me to return before the first-stringers and free them. Problem?'

Me and Ciel both glared at him angry. I was trying to hold myself in, because I really wanted to punch him in the face. But I knew that wasn't going to do much.

Sebastian still smiled amused. 'What are you glaring at me for?' he asked. 'Rest assured, my lord, I won't let you die while our contract holds. But you may encounter some non-fatal suffering if you give me the wrong orders. You knew as much. Every game needs its thrills. You're such an avid player, I assumed you shared my opinion.'

My fist landed in his face before he could even finish the sentence, surprising everyone in the room, including myself. I was more surprised that the fact that Sebastian looked actually hurt when he looked at me. 'You—you—you—You low vile monster! No one should even breathe the same air as you!'

'I quite agree with that,' Suit said, who was sitting on the lower bed reading a black old-looking book.

Ciel seemed to gain some strength from the fact that I had hit Sebastian. 'Ha! You have a sickeningly bad taste in games, demon.'

But Sebastian had already regained himself and just smiled. 'You flatter me.'

Ciel frowned. 'Never mind. I found a letter in Joker's tent that mentioned my name. Luckily, there weren't any photos, but it's still suspicious.' He coughed and walked over to the bed, leaning against it as he had clearly trouble holding himself without his walking stick. 'It had my rank, the location of my estate and even a biographical sketch. The sender—'

'You, there!' Suit suddenly said, poking Ciel with his stick.

'Ouch!' Ciel said, jumping away from the stick.

'You were three centimetres into my territory,' he told Ciel, who looked at him angrily. I now noticed that he was wearing all black now, no purple or yellow. 'If the master can't abide by our agreed-upon boundaries, he's as bad as his dog.'

Ciel looked at him annoyed before coughing again. I got worried again, but it didn't seem to bother Sebastian one bit. Argh, I could just kill him!

'Let's go outside,' Ciel said, walking outside while being followed by us.

We walked towards the big crates stalled on the other side of the big circus tent. Ciel leaned against one of those crates, arms crossing. He kept coughing now and then and the more he coughed, the more worried I got.

'The sender used the name "Tom, the piper's son",' Ciel told us.

Hey, I had heard that name before! But where?

'A mother Goose character,' Sebastian said, clearly only to fill me in.

I breathed out heavy and noticed that my breath looked like mist in the cold, flying up in the air and disappearing in the cold dark night.

'Yes,' Ciel agreed, 'though I do not know why…' – his words were interrupted with another cough – 'and the sealing wax shower a crest with a horse and the initial K.' The grip Ciel had around himself tightened and that little gesture made me believe he was in pain. I tried to give Sebastian a sign, but he either didn't notice or didn't care.

'Then it's the same as the one I saw,' Sebastian told Ciel. 'Signet rings are generally engraved with a motif and initial that represent the bearer or his family. Which means To the piper's son has a coat of arms featuring a horse. Would a horse mean someone awarded a knighthood, or perhaps a soldier?'

Ciel coughed as I asked: 'You know we live in the 21st century, right?'

And I got ignored. Again. 'Not necessarily, but philanthropy is probably impossible without a certain degree of status.' He coughed again and this time it sounded worse than before. I wanted to help him, but I was too afraid he wouldn't let me. 'The heraldic authorities have all coats of arms in their registers. We have enough criteria to narrow it down so that however many they have…' – another cough and this time, Sebastian narrowed his eyes, finally noticing that there might be something wrong with his master. '…_you_ should be able to find the one.'

Then Ciel seemed to be suffocate in his own breath, but he just kept talking. 'The missing children, the circus, Tom the piper's son, and me—'

'Ciel, stop talking!' I said the moment he there up and fell to the ground, coughing and breathing as if he was dying.

'Young master?' Sebastian asked surprised while I screamed 'Ciel!' while sitting next beside him, trying to keep him conscious. But it was too late. Ciel was already gone.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**Don't worry, he's not dead. Probably. It would be kind of ironic if did actually ****_did _****kill him. That would be what Sebastian deserved, it would just suck for Ciel.**

**Word of today: love. Because, you know, Valentine's Day is coming up. In Dutch love is 'liefde' and in Japanese it can be 'koi' or 'ai' depending on the use and stuff. So yeah, that was the word of today! See you next chapter!**

**Silver Moon Fairie: Hmm, that would smell good. And yeah, you can find funny what you want ;) It didn't get much better for Ciel in this chapter though... sorry about that...**

**justaislinn: thank you for your research, I really wasn't sure, so thanks a lot!**

**Effervescent Ocean: Haha, yeah, sorry about that. I just thought the title was too long, so yeah. And thanks!**

**promocat: You have no idea how much that means to me! And I one hundred procent understand everyone that loves Ciel and Sebastian together, that's why I adress it in the story. I'm not really a shipper of anything, but Sebastian and Ciel is at least a ship I completely understand. :D**


	41. Chapter 41

**New chapter, new chapter, new chapter! Because I probably won't be able to update tomorrow or Saturday :( So that sucks, but here you have a new chapter for now.**

**And remember: I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own my OC.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 41**

'It's asthma,' Doc told us.

Me, Sebastian and Doll (who followed us after walking into us while Sebastian carried Ciel to the infirmary tent) were inside the infirmary tent, where Ciel was laying on one of the beds there. I felt so helpless as I watched him breathe so unsteadily. I couldn't do anything. Ciel wasn't even conscious.

I looked over at Sebastian, because I thought that he must've known. But he looked just as surprised as me. 'Asthma?' he repeated confused, almost as if he'd never heard about it. 'We've lived together for over three years and I've never seen him have a fit like this.'

I purposely said nothing. I, as his sister, was supposed to know. Sebastian didn't have that kind of lie keeping him from asking or saying anything, so he could say whatever he wanted. I just hoped Doc wouldn't ask me anything about it…

Doc looked at his paper. 'Well, if he hasn't had an attack in three years, he may be essentially cured…' He frowned. 'But when patients are exposed to abrupt stress or chill, or if they catch a cold, they sometimes relapse.'

Sebastian seemed to be sincerely worried when he said: 'But he's caught colds before… '

His words had sounded so sad that it made me frown. Did he really care, or did he just pretend to care? I wasn't sure. I hoped it was the first option, but I knew that it probably was the second. I mean, since when did Sebastian care about anything but himself?

'There were probably multiple triggers this time,' Doc said in reaction to Sebastian's words. 'And I hear he took a tub-bath outside with our weight-lifting addicts? It's no wonder he caught a cold!'

Then Ciel's eyes suddenly went open and I really wanted to grab his hands, but the only thing that wasn't under his blankets was his face. 'Wa… water…' Ciel said softly.

'Ah!' Doc said with a sad smile while I took the water from the small table beside the bed. 'You're awake?' he asked, not really expecting an answer.

I gave him a bit water, which was immediately followed by him started to cough again. But when I tried to get off of the bed again, where I'd sat down to help him drink the water, he grabbed my arm to make sure I stayed.

Doc decided that Ciel was conscious enough to answer his questions now. 'Smile, did you have a bad case of asthma as a young boy?'

Ciel just stared at me, his hand still on my arm. 'Aunt An,' he said softly, almost as if he was mistaking me for her.

Oh God. I wanted to cry. This was a way in which I did not want to see Ciel. I wanted to see the wise, stubborn, strong young earl that I knew. I wanted to see the boy who wasn't able to show any weakness to anyone. I wanted Earl Phantomhive back. This Ciel scared me.

Doc sighed. 'This is no good – his mind is muddled. We'll have to keep a sharp watch until the fever and coughing stop.'

'I'll go get some ice!' Doll said, running out of the tent as fast as he could to be of some sort of help to Ciel.

'What about you?' Doc asked me and Sebastian.

'I stay with him,' I said, taking Ciel's hand of my arm and holding his hand with mine. I gave Sebastian an almost possessive look, because I didn't care which triggers it had been; this was definately _his _fault.

'I'd like to stay and help, too,' Sebastian said, looking at me while he answered Doc's question. He stared at me with intense eyes. 'If I may.'

Doc smiled. 'I'm much obliged.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

_POV change_

'What? Black and Smile snuck in? What were they after?'

'_That, I don't know, but you mustn't forget that the girl was there too, but only for a little bit, _says Wordsworth,' Snake answered, translating one of his snakes.

Peter didn't seem too sure about what Snake was telling them. 'Can you _really _talk with snakes?' he asked.

'_Do you doubt me, you simpleton?! _says Wordsworth,' Snake told the circus artists with no expression on his face.

Joker sighed. 'Why didn't 'ee say so before?' he asked.

Another snake around Snake's neck lifted its head to speak. '_There, I told you to report it straightaway, _says Emily.'

Joker forced a polite smile. 'Well, never mind. Thank 'ee, and off to bed, now.'

'_Good night. Sleep well! _says Wordsworth and Emily,' Snake translated before turning around and talking away, leaving Jumbo, Joker and Peter alone.

As soon as Snake was far enough, Joker's smile faded and his face became dark. 'I reckon they might know. That fool Doll…'

'Doll's such a little twerp! I told you we shouldn'ta brung her!' Peter said, clearly already deciding that Black and Smile had to die.

Joker ignored him. 'Black and Smile… and Whisper, too… Who are they? Now that I think about it, their background story just seems… off,' he said, deep in thought.

'Let's get rid of them. And soon,' Peter proposed. 'Maybe tonight.'

'No,' Jumbo reacted, joining the conversation, 'wait.'

'Jumbo's right,' Joker said, siding with the tall man. 'If they be with the Yard, killing them puts us in a bind.'

'We'd have to break up the troupe, at the very least,' Jumbo added.

Joker sighed. 'Yes… I reckon I'll try to get some information out of them.' He frowned in a thoughtful pose. 'Whisper seems to be weakest link to me, so I'll try to get some info out of her. If I do not succeed, I'll ask Father. If that be the case, I'll leave this evening.' He stood up. 'But what Father wants is the target. So if they get up to anything whilst I'm gone… '

'We know,' Jumbo interrupted, feeling no need to hear Joker's whole explanation.

'If they do, we will move without you,' Peter added.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

_Clarissa's POV_

Ciel was still coughing and coughing, but he seemed to be more conscious now. Doc had been busy with other patients, but returned to Ciel's bed just as Ciel seemed to be about to say something. But when Doc approached, he shut is mouth.

'How is he?' Doc asked.

I shook my head. 'He still seems poorly off.'

'I thought as much,' Doc said as he rolled himself to the cabinet in the corner of the tent, only a few feet away from us. 'I just remembered that I might have some medicine for asthma patients… Now, where did I put it?'

Ciel came closer to me, almost getting up, but not really. With his mouth against my ear he whispered: 'Can you give a message to Sebastian?'

I nodded, holding a close watch on Doc. I thought that Sebastian would probably be able to hear him if he whispered like this just fine, with his demon hearing and stuff, but I didn't say anything about that. Because I was too scared Doc would hear me whisper, even if I did so as soft as I could.

'Tell him: _This is an order: go to the heraldic authorities and identity the man with the signet ring. The registers are in London and Edinburgh. If I move now, the doctor will make a fuss. Come fetch me in the morning._' I was actually impressed Ciel managed to say all this without coughing. Maybe he felt better than he made us think.

I looked over at Sebastian, who looked at me with a smile that told me he'd heard it. He nodded and the next moment, he was gone. This seemed to calm Ciel down, as he finally closed his eye to fall asleep, letting go of me in the process.

I sighed. There wasn't much for me to do here. Maybe I could help Sebastian. With that in mind I left the tent as quietly as possible, trying to find Sebastian even though I knew that was kind of a lost cause.

'You again? Well, this won't do.'

Or it took me about three seconds. Sebastian stood just outside the infirmary tent, with Suit pointing his stick at him once again. Those two really should stay out of each other's way.

The funny thing was that – this time – Suit was wearing his pyjamas. 'And where are you off to? I believe I told you not to wander about without your master.'

I walked over to Sebastian and stood beside him, immediately sure that that had been the wrong choice. Suit probably wouldn't be proud of me for picking the 'vile demon's side', but – at least for now – I was on Ciel's side. And if that meant that I also had to be an Sebastian's side, then so be it.

'I'm afraid my master is indisposed, so I must do his errands,' Sebastian said and as I looked at him from the side I noticed that amused smile on his face.

Suit didn't take that crap. 'Return to the tent at once. I cannot allow you to act independently.' He started to attack Sebastian again, easily avoiding me while doing so and Sebastian easily avoiding the sharp end of the stick. 'Small mistakes can lead to extreme overtime, you see.'

Then Sebastian grabbed the stick and my mouth fell open as I saw how he bled. Wait… could he even bleed? I mean… I knew he could… but from such a strange weapon? And in such a strange situation, in which he probably wasn't really in danger at all? Seeing him bleed like this made me feel like he might not be as powerful as I thought he was.

'I'm sorry,' Sebastian said, clearly not effected by his bleeding hand, 'but I have my duties as a butler. I cannot allow you to disturb my master's sleep. And you don't really want to cause a scene here, do you?'

If my mouth hadn't been open already, it would have fallen open now. Was he protecting his master's sleep? Where had the heartless Sebastian gone? This was certainly still a demon, but at least it seemed to be a demon who cared.

'Why don't you and I make a deal?' Sebastian said, trying to negotiate with the reaper. 'If you give me one hour of freedom, I'll swear that I will never eat a soul in your territory again. Just one hour.'

I couldn't believe that. Not even Sebastian could search two registers in an hour. Especially when one was in London and the other in Edinburgh.

The reaper shook his head, not even considering the offer. He pulled back his weapon, though, splashing Sebastian's blood over the cold ground. 'No, thank you. Seducing your prey into darkness with sweet words is the demonic cliché.'

'Ah, I was afraid you'd say no,' Sebastian said, observing his white glove that was now completely ruined and red. He took off the glove as he said: 'Oh, well. I'll explore other means, then.' Then he turned around and walked away and when Suit made no move to stop him, I ran after him.

'Be careful which side you choose, miss Lane. Some choices cannot be undone,' I heard Suit say before disappearing into the night.

'What are you going to do?' I asked Sebastian as he stopped walking, his eyes strangely focused on something I couldn't hear nor see.

Then he suddenly smiled, as if he had found what he was looking for. Then he turned to me and touched my face as if I was the most precious thing in the world and as if this was his last chance to touch me, which made me want to frown but also unable to move. I felt I was blushing like an idiot and I knew my heart was beating faster too, and I hated myself for both of those things, but his touch just seemed so magical. Especially now that he was only wearing one glove. His demon skin seemed to sing as it touched mine, making seducing me even easier than normal.

A devilish smile appeared on his face, revealing his sharp, perfectly white, teeth. 'Seducing my prey into darkness with sweet words, huh?' he said, clearly not talking to me. 'Right, I guess that is true.'

'What did you say?' I asked, but before I could even finish the question, he was gone.

Great. He really should stop doing that.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I got lost along the way back to the infirmary tent. I wasn't sure how, but I ended up at the big circus tent, not sure where the infirmary tent was anymore. I couldn't enter the big circus tent though, because they had put up fences after tonight's show.

'Oh dear. Be thee lost?' I familiar voice asked as I looked at the trucks trying to think whether I had to go left or right.

I turned around. 'Ah, yeah!' I said as innocently as I could. It worked because, in fact, I _was _actually lost. 'I was looking for the infirmary tent, but I can't find it. Ha ha.' I scratched the back of my head.

Joker smiled a small smile. 'Be 'ee feeling sick?' he asked, approaching me slowly.

I didn't trust the look in his eyes, so took I step back, grabbing the fence behind me. Which was so alarmingly cold that I wanted to take my hands off it the moment I had grabbed it. But I didn't. Because the fence felt like the only help I had at the moment. 'N-No, no. Cie—Smile is sick. I wanted to visit him.'

Joker tilted his head to the side, like how Sebastian often did. Only his act seemed much rustier, mostly because it was clear that this was an act that he had practiced very often. 'Ah. Well, I hope 'ee be alright.' Then he came closer to me and put his arms at the fence at either side of me, leaning his face close to mine.

I immediately recognised this tactic. Sebastian had used it on me before. He used the fact that his oh-so-attractive body was standing so close to me, almost as if he was making me drunk with his presence. So I knew how to keep calm and I knew how that he was only seducing me for the hell of it, cornering me so that he could get what he wanted.

'So… Smile be thee brother, right? And 'ee both seem to know Black very well, too,' he told me, making his hidden intentions quite clear.

Okay, so he wanted more information about 'Black' and 'Smile'. Great. Now I at least knew what he was after. 'Yes, Smile is my brother,' I said, not letting him get the best of me. He wasn't going to get anything from me.

'And 'ee… loves Black, right?' Joker said.

Okay, now I was confused. A, even if that were true, how would he now that? And B, why did he want to know that? What was he going to do with that information if I replied? I wasn't even a real member of the 'Queen's Guard Dog'-team, let alone someone you could benefit from. Especially because what I felt didn't matter. Because Sebastian would never ever fall in love with anyone and especially not a human girl.

So I decided to not reply at all. I just focused on those purple eyes of his, which reminded me of Ash. Yeah, Ash. I hadn't seen him in a while. Maybe he didn't like circuses. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. And where was Suit? Couldn't he help me with—

'It seemed as if Black only be here for Smile and his own. Not you,' Joker said when I didn't react. His eyes glowed in a strange way. I didn't even know that normal human eyes _could_ glow. But maybe it only seemed that way.

'He can't return your feelings, but he is kind to 'ee,' Joker added when I again didn't reply. Now I even looked away from his face, staring into the darkness, staring into a place where this strange man wasn't using such words to get the information he needed. 'Although that must hurt 'ee more… Cruel, don't 'ee think?' He grabbed my chin and turned my face to his, forcing me to look at him. 'He will never even look at 'ee.'

I didn't understand why I started to cry, but I did. But then I saw that a small victory smile appeared on Joker's face and I reminded myself that he just did this so I would betray Sebastian and Ciel and tell him everything I know. Because he thought I was a weak link. An outsider. Well, maybe he was right. But at least I could try to prove him wrong.

It was almost funny how Sebastian had – how unintentional it may have been – learned me how to recognise and resist such seduction. Joker couldn't seduce me, because I had already been seduced by someone way hotter a couple of times. He could never beat that guy. Or should I say 'demon'.

I grabbed Joker's fake arm and tore it from his body, showing no mercy at all. As the arm fell on the ground and Joker stared at me I said: 'I have talked to Black about this a while ago and there's nothing you can do to make me feel bad about it. And I'm sorry I ripped your arm off' – sorry, not sorry – 'it was an accident.' Not really, but hey, if he could do what he'd just done, then I could lie.

Before Joker could say anything else I ran away, sure to find the infirmary if I just kept searching.

And I did manage to find the infirmary. Doc was there, but not by Ciel's side. He told me that Doll was there, waiting for me or 'Black' to get back. When I arrived at her side, I thanked her and she left the infirmary tent to get some sleep. How she would fall asleep tonight was something only the night will know, because I truly believed her when she said that she had trouble with sleeping alone.

Ciel still looked sick, with red cheeks and sweat on his forehead. For now he was at least sleeping, but he seemed to have a nightmare. He looked like he was seeing something horrible and he made soft sounds that clearly sounded like suffering. I bit my lip and thought about grabbing his hand, but I wasn't sure if that would help him. So I grabbed all my courage and climbed into the bed to lay beside him. I lay on my side with one arm around him and my nose against his shoulder. This seemed to calm him down, but only a bit. Somehow this calmed me down as well and I shut my eyes, trying to fall asleep myself.

Then the thought came into my head that I had probably hurt Joker. And I didn't care. I had torn someone's body-part off – how make it may be. Wasn't that a horrible thing to do? I probably killed my father, too? Why wasn't I feeling guilty? Why wasn't I hating myself? Why was I feeling like me normal self, maybe even more than my usual self? I felt more powerful because of what I'd done and I certainly didn't regret it. Oh gosh. Was I slowly becoming a demon, too? Not so much in body, but maybe in mind?

I shook my head, not willing to think these thoughts. I would never become like Sebastian. Because I would never hurt Ciel or do anything that might hurt him. The world had done that more than enough already. At least one person in his life would stay until the end for selfless reasons. Even though it was a bit selfish of me, seeing how Ciel gave me food and a roof above my head. Oh boy. I really wasn't a good person, was I?

As I slowly drifted off to sleep I banished the depressing thoughts from my mind, but one lingered there, burning like a little candle in the darkness of the tent.

Ciel had ordered Sebastian to find out the man's identity during the night and to come and fetch him in the morning. But Sebastian couldn't leave the circus' grounds, so how was he going to accomplish that? I knew he was a demon who was good – or should I say 'flawless' – at what he did, but could he be _that_ good that he had the identity by tomorrow?

Then Suit's voice sounded through my ears, almost as if he was standing right next to me. _You seduce your prey into darkness with sweet words. Cleverly, sweetly, softly, so that it won't notice the monster behind the mask. _

Sebastian… what are you doing?

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><p>XxX<p>

**Hehehe. I'm evil. I just liked the idea that Clarissa would be seduced at the same time that Sebastian was seducing someone else. And ****_yes,_**** he did seduce Beast to get the Father's name like he did in the manga and the anime. Clarissa sure as hell didn't change his mind. I think he liked the idea of doing something like that even more if it would make her jealous.**

**No word today because I'm lazy and again: I probably won't update tomorrow and the day after that. So sorry about that.**

**Fire in a Dark Soul: Ha ha, sorry about that! I did that kind of unintentionally. I knew what kind of line I wanted him to say and I just wrote it that way because it was the only way it popped up in my head (probably because it's such a famous line). And thanks! Hope you like the upcoming chapter too :)**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: Don't worry, I agree with you on this. I wish I could just slap him! So yeah, I made Clarissa slap him for me :D**

**promocat: ha ha, is okay, I don't like to spell that word too. And yeah, it's kind of sad to see Ciel like this. I like seeing his vulnerable side, but I miss the 'Epic Earl Phantomhive'. I just love Ciel when he is all arrogant and awesome :D**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing and stuff like that!**


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42! Yaay! I know I've said that I probably wouldn't update on Saturday, but I felt like writing and managed to finish the chapter before I had to leave: so here it is! Hope you like it. It isn't much of a 'Valentine'-chapter though, so don't feel too bad about that.**

**I hope you guys have a wonderful Valentine's Day, even if you're lonely, you can always watch anime and pretend like you have a date with the hottest anime character you know. I don't know. Maybe I'm just rambling.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but my OC is all mine.**

**And sorry for the typos: I'm kind of in a hurry.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 42**

I had been awake for quite some time when I heard Sebastian.

'Good morning,' he said.

I had been carefully keeping my eyes shut for a while, not wanting to really wake up yet, but now I kept them close with a real purpose, knowing that they probably would talk differently if they knew I was awake.

'Right…' I heard Ciel say as he moved under my arm. I felt how he turned his face to me as well, feeling his breath on my forehead as he looked at me, my nose still against his shoulder.

'How are you feeling?' Sebastian asked, clearly in a good mood, which made me only more curious to what he'd done to find the man's name.

Ciel carefully put my arm away from him. 'Not well, but—' a sort cough '—better than yesterday.' He sat up, coughing again. I knew I should probably let them know I was awake, but I just couldn't. I wanted to know if they kept things from me and this seemed one of the only chances to find out.

'Drink some water,' Sebastian said.

'Right,' Ciel said, surprisingly obedient today. Then he said: 'Where are your gloves? Your nails and the seal of our contract are on display.'

I tried not to frown as I heard that. I knew he had taken one off, but that had been the one without the seal. Why had he taken the other one of as well? What had he done that would require him taken both of his gloves?

'I got them a bit dirty, I'm afraid,' Sebastian said, playing innocent.

I tried not to think about it too much, but it somehow really bothered me. What had he done?

'More importantly,' Ciel then said, distracting me, 'I assume you got my errand done?'

'Yes, of course,' Sebastian said, playing innocent again. 'No need to stay here any longer. Let's leave after breakfast.' I felt Ciel's weight disappear from the matrass as Sebastian lifted him. 'Ah, that reminds me… I'll be sure not to tell Lady Elizabeth that you shared your bed with another young lady. Twice.'

Ciel made a few embarrassed and surprised noises, but Sebastian didn't let him speak. 'We'll speak more once we get home,' he said. 'Shall we leave miss Lane here? Maybe she will find more clues,' Sebastian added, clearly only half-joking.

'No rubbish, Sebastian. She's coming with us,' Ciel said, not even doubting of a second. 'And we're not waiting for breakfast. I want to go home right now.'

'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian replied. Then I felt that someone ripped the blanket off me and as I opened my eyes – too surprised to keep them shut – I looked directly into Sebastian's smiling face. 'Good morning, miss Lane. You look especially tasty today.'

'Do you want me to kill you?' I asked him, trying to sound like I was asleep just a moment ago.

He just kept the innocent smile on his face. 'I'd rather not, though I believe your attempts at doing so would be quite amusing.'

I rolled my eyes and sat up. 'Are we leaving?' I asked.

'Yes,' Ciel said while he was lifted again by Sebastian. Sebastian had clearly put him on the table for a while so he could wake me up, but now he lifted him. It looked like Sebastian was actually going to carry Ciel home. How great. 'I want to have breakfast in style. No potatoes. Let's go.'

Just outside the tent stood Suit, but now in his black clothes, so I should probably call him 'William T Spears' now. He stood there like a statue and he'd clearly been waiting for us.

'We've finished our business here, so we'll be taking our leave,' Sebastian announced to him.

'Feel free to do so,' was William T Spears' reaction. 'I don't care where you go, as long as your master is with you.'

Sebastian walked passed him and I just stumbled after him, trying to find a way to tell him that carrying Ciel like this made Ciel look like a five-year-old.

'Demon, please remember what I said about the girl,' William T Spears said while we walked away from him. 'Leaving the circus won't change my warning.'

I was the only one to look around, Sebastian didn't.

William T Spears readjusted his glasses and said: 'She is a very important creature for a very big amount of reapers, so know who you're fighting against when I say that you're also one of those creatures who is supposed to keep her alive.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Ciel, where have you been?! You left for two days without a word!'

Oh yeah. Agni and Soma were sleeping in the town house. I forgot. Right now I didn't really feel like socializing with those two. I wanted to put Ciel in his bed and take care of him until he got better. And maybe sleep some more myself; I was exhausted.

'Welcome home,' Agni said, ignoring his master's rudeness.

This wouldn't have been this awkward if Sebastian wasn't still carrying Ciel like a baby. I mean, did Ciel really not notice that the way Sebastian was holding him was kind of destroying his dignity? 'That's none of your affair,' Ciel told Soma. Then he coughed and that was Sebastian's sigh to walk right in.

Soma frowned. 'What's wrong? You look pale!' He looked at me for answers.

'Asthma,' I told him, 'combined with a cold.' Maybe if I answered the simple question quick this conversation would be over quick.

His reaction was quite funny. He looked like I just told him Ciel was going to die any second now. Which might have been so a hundred years ago, but nowadays there were enough medicine to keep an asthma-patient alive. Hmm, maybe I should go fetch some medicine for that. Or sent Sebastian to do so. If he actually cared enough to do that.

Ciel didn't seem to like the fact that I told him that. 'It's nothing serious. Just leave me be,' he said as Sebastian carried him upstairs.

'But it _is _serious!' Soma said, running after him as I suddenly felt dizzy. Agni seemed to notice that and held me up.

'Are you okay, miss Lane?' he asked me.

I nodded. 'I'm fine. I've just been so busy with caring for Ciel that I haven't really taken care of myself,' I said innocently.

As Agni leaded me upstairs he asked: 'And with 'not caring for yourself' you mean…?'

I tried to make it sound like it was no big deal: 'I… haven't eaten for two days…?' Then I shook my head. 'But that's fine. I'll eat. First I need to make sure that Ciel doesn't leave this house until he is better.'

Agni smiled. 'I will take care of that.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

As Ciel tried to leave his room – fully clothed in his ridiculous outfit I might add – Agni blocked the door, making Ciel unable to leave.

Me and Soma stood behind him. 'Not so fast, Ciel!' Soma said. 'Don't assume you'll have an easy time escaping the town house I protect! As the viceroy of this estate and your dear friend, I cannot allow you to go out while you have a cold!' Agni took away an arm so that Soma could walk into the room, forcing Ciel back into the centre of the room.

'Who made you my "dear friend"?' Ciel asked, clearly taking issue with that. 'Don't be daft!' He pushed Soma away and walked to the door again, but Soma was faster.

'Agni! Don't let Ciel pass you!' he ordered before Ciel could leave the room.

Ciel twitched in annoyance. 'Listen, you two… I have work to do! I haven't got time to play games with you!' He coughed again, only proving the point Agni and Soma were trying to make.

'Your work can wait,' I said, entering the room now.

Ciel looked at me surprised when I grabbed his shoulders. 'You're sick, Ciel! Your job should be lying in bed and be looked after!'

'I'm not like you!' Ciel said, pulling himself free from my grip. 'I can manage-' he started to cough again, this time longer. Being angry and annoyed clearly didn't help his asthma.

Agni shot forward and sighed, not knowing how I could help him when he was like this. I looked over at Sebastian, but he was just standing there doing nothing.

'Please return to bed, my Lord,' Agni said kindly. 'You have asthma! You can't possibly be well enough to work!'

He slapped Agni's hands away. 'Don't touch me!' he told him. 'Sebastian, get these three out of my way!' Another cough.

No way in hell. No way in hell.

Sebastian just smiled. 'Very good, my Lord.'

Just as Agni seemed like he wanted to burst out into anger, I walked up to Sebastian with my fists clenched, ready to punch him, but not actually doing it. 'Sebastian, you ought to be ashamed! And you call yourself '_one hell of a butler_'?! The health of your master should be your first concern! Don't you think you should stop Ciel for the sake of his health, even if it goes against his orders? Do you want him to get another asthma attack while doing that oh-so-important work of his to do and choke to death because you were to much of an idiot to see that he obviously needs rest?! You need to make sure your master is in good health at all times! Isn't that what being a butler is all about?!' I wasn't even sure if I was making sense right now, but I was too angry to care about that.

Agni nodded, clearly agreeing with what I just said. Good, because I hadn't been too sure about that.

Sebastian actually looked like the words I told him came through. 'I… I consider my role to be fulfilling my master's wishes, but there's something to be said for your way of thinking… '

'Hey!' Ciel said, shocked that my words were actually working. 'Don't let her turn you! My orders—'

Soma seemed to believe that we'd already won the game. 'Now that that's sorted, get in bed! I'll personally nurse you back to health, so be grateful! Agni! Porridge and an herbal infusion! Ciel's butler, bring nightclothes and ice packs!'

'At once!' Sebastian agreed,

'Oi!' Ciel screamed, still nog agreeing with any of this.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I decided to leave the room while Agni, Soma and Sebastian helped Ciel change into his pyjamas. I had to draw the line there.

I went to the kitchen, where the porridge Agni was making was boiling and sighed, feeling as if I could faint any moment.

'Perhaps you should rest as well, miss Lane,' a familiar voice behind me said. And I had wished that it had been Agni, but it was Sebastian who walked into the kitchen to check on the porridge.

I close my eyes and leaned against the wall, trying to ignore Sebastian existence. Which, after a while, I decided to throw out of the window. I had something to say to him. 'I want to thank you,' I said with my eyes still closed.

'What for, exactly?' Sebastian asked.

'For listening to me. I didn't think that was something you did, but I'm glad you did. And I now caring for a child like this isn't really your… 'area', but you must now that you're doing the right thing.' Wait… was doing the right thing an insult for a demon? Maybe it was, but it was already too late, because I had already said it.

'Ah, well, you were quite right about the fact that I couldn't risk my master's life like that. I do not know much about asthma, so that would be quite irresponsible,' was Sebastian answer. Of course it had been for selfish reason that he'd listened to me. I should've known. I probably had known it, though. I'd just pretended like I didn't.

'I'll print some info about asthma for you this evening, okay' I asked him, still not opening my eyes.

'Yes, that sounds quite useful,' he agreed, not saying anything after that.

It was silent in the kitchen for a while. Then I opened my mouth to ask the question that I wanted to know the answer to, but I also didn't want to know the answer. 'You weren't allowed to leave the circus' grounds. So… how did you figure out his name?'

It took a while before he answered and it wasn't really an answer he gave me. 'Would you believe me if I said that it was just a lucky guess?'

'No. No, I wouldn't,' I said, shaking my head slowly, my eyes still closed. 'If you're going to lie, you'll have to do better than that.'

He waited again before saying what sounded like the truth. 'Well, then I have to say that I used my terrific seducing skills to get the answer from one of the first-stringers.'

I sighed. I could've known. 'Okay, I could have known. And, please, don't enlighten me on the details. I really do not want to know.' But his words did remind me of the fact that Joker had seduced me to get answer, which means that he was at least a but suspicious of us. Shit. Maybe I should tell Ciel that.

My eyes flew open. 'Crap,' I said, before running out of the kitchen, towards Ciel's bedroom.

Lucky enough for me, he wasn't sleeping yet. Agni and Soma were sitting next to his bed, but I felt like what I wanted to say wasn't something they were allowed to hear. 'I'm sorry, but I wish to speak with Ciel. Alone, please.' I heard Sebastian walking into the bedroom behind me, but for now I didn't care.

Agni nodded in agreement and took a complaining Soma out of the room with him. When it was just me, Ciel and Sebastian, I said: 'Ciel, I forgot to tell you, but Joker might be in on who we are and what we're trying to accomplish.'

Ciel frowned and coughed, his cheeks red. 'What are you saying?' He asked, his fist in front of his mouth as he coughed again.

'He… err… he asked me questions. About you. About Sebastian. He tried to answer out of me – I didn't give him any answers, of course!' I added as I saw how Ciel's eyes narrowed. 'I just thought I should let you know. But I have to say that I don't think he knows your identity. That was the thing he seemed to want from me.'

'And he thought you would actually betray your own brother?' Ciel asked, one eyebrow pulled up.

'Well… he _was _very convincing,' I said, blushing as I remembered how he'd tried to seduce me. And how I had ripped his fake arm off in response. Geez, I really was a bitch.

Ciel sighed. 'Well, it's a good thing we left. It doesn't matter now. We will solve this case and if the first-stringers are going to be in our way, we'll get rid of them.'

The strangest thing was that his words didn't surprise me. Nor did they disgust or scare me. I understood his way of thinking and I actually _agreed _to it as well. Jesus, I was really becoming a demon myself.

I – strangely enough – bowed because I felt like I had to and left the room to give Ciel some rest, so he could sleep. I was surprised when I was followed by Sebastian, who wasn't saying a word. He followed me until the living room, where I decided that this was a bit strange. 'Is there anything you need?' I asked him, turning around quickly.

'What did Joker do to you?' he asked me, his eyes narrowed.

I rolled my eyes. 'Well, I bet the same thing you did with another first-stringer to get information.'

That clearly was something I shouldn't have said. He suddenly grabbed my head and kissed me, but it was so short that I felt like he'd done that with a different purpose. He frowned, seeming deep in thought before saying: 'Well, he didn't kiss you.'

I rolled my eyes again. 'No, of course he didn't… Wait… You mean that you _did _kiss the first-stringer?' Then my heart seemed to sink. 'It was Beast, wasn't it? The one you seduced?'

Sebastian smiled an innocent smile as he said: 'Indeed, it was.'

My heart sunk even more than it had. I felt like my heart was the freaking titanic, with the splitting into two and sinking and everything. I could almost see all my feelings fall down into the ice cold water, realising that this was the end and that there was nothing to be done.

I knew I meant nothing to him. I knew he didn't care. I knew that he probably _enjoyed _my pain. But I somehow that thought that, even though he didn't feel anything for me, I was the only one he seduced like that. Because I was special.

But that was wrong. I just hadn't realised that I wasn't special at all.

'O—okay,' I said after a long while, staring into the distance. Then I started to ramble. 'Yeah, I guess that makes sense. She's pretty sexy and seems like a great kisser. Was she a great kisser? Don't tell me, she probably was. Oh, and you got her to say the name, but not just with kisses alone, right? Ha ha, I should've know. Isn't lust one of the seven sins? Well, I guess you like sins more than you like virtues. Ha ha. Ha. Ha.'

Sebastian grabbed my chin and pulled my head up, forcing me to look at him. 'Hmm, what's this? Are you… jealous?'

I normally would have pulled myself free and denied it, but right now that wasn't what I wanted to do. Right now I wanted to tear him down, rip the demon apart until there was only Sebastian left, only the perfect butler he pretended to be. Because I felt like that was the only part of him that I could ever understand. The only part of him that I could ever live with.

So I searched for him. I started into those red eyes as I stood on my toes, my hands grabbing his tailcoat as I slowly came closer and closer, until I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his.

He responded immediately, of course. He was arrogant enough to take this as a 'yes' to his question and he liked the fact that he thought he'd won. He thought he'd won me over, that I loved him now. Well, he sure as hell was wrong about that. Because now I knew that I could never fall in love with a creature so vile and inhuman. I could never love a beast that only wanted to tame others and make them obey his will, only to satisfy his selfish needs. Ciel may think that that was what humans were as well, but I had seen too many kind humans in my life to believe that.

And I was the one that knew that this would be our last kiss. I wouldn't let him kiss me anymore. I would cover my mouth, slap him in the face or call Ciel – or even William T Spears – to save me, but I would never let him kiss me again.

Maybe that was why this was the longest kiss we'd ever shared. Because I didn't want to say goodbye to these kisses yet. I wasn't ready to let go yet. And I would kiss him until I was ready to do so.

Sebastian put his hands on my hips and pulled my closer and I started to feel like I couldn't come any closer to him anymore. I felt kind of sad that he was wearing gloves again, but I remembered the magical feeling of his touch, but it was probably easier this way.

Then Sebastian put me against the glass of the living room in an attempt to pull me even closer and he lifted me up, put my legs around him as if he was trying to teach me how it should be done.

That for me was the cue that this was enough. It had gone on long enough. Probably way too long. And if continued this any longer I would lose my mind and I wouldn't be able to stop this anymore.

I pulled away and he put me down on the floor again and I was happy to see that he didn't look all that calm and composed now. He looked confused, clearly didn't expect that I would be the one to break off the kiss. 'That,' I said, breathing way too heavy, 'was the last time.' Then I pushed him away carefully and fled the living room, running upstairs with the intend to lock me up in my room and sleep until I never wanted to sleep again.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**So, that was chapter 42! I felt like it was pretty short, but it's actually one of the longer chapters I've written. That sure is surprising.**

**Again no word today, because I have to go in about five minutes and I have to upload this chapter before I go, so yeah, time problem.**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: Yeah, I felt really evil. But hey, it wasn't like she didn't know Sebastian's true nature. She could've known. She should've known.**

**promocat: yeah, maybe that's true. Though I do believe that it is quite hard for someone who was raised as a human to ever understand how and what demons think. A bad human, yes, of course you can become one, but a demon? I think the main difference is that demons do not deny what they are, while human live their whole life pretending to be perfect and kind and whatever. Though this of course does not apply to everyone.**


	43. Chapter 43

**This chapter was… hard to write. Especially considering that I really didn't want Clarissa to go with Ciel to Lord Kelvin's mansion, but I did want her to find out about his past and… yeah, it's pretty complicated. And I cried while writing this. So I bet there are a lot of typos because of my overly active emotions. So yeah.**

**Hope you guys will enjoy this chapter!**

**This will be the last chapter for a while, because next week I'm skiing in Germany somewhere, so yeah, don't think I'll be able to update then. And that's why I made a ****_really _****long chapter! It's as long as two chapter combined, so yeah, hope you like it!**

**And I probably will update another time this week, maybe tomorrow, maybe Friday, I don't know, but in case that I don't, I wanted to say all this.**

**So, yeah, let's get this 'party' (aka emotion breakdown) started. And remember; I don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 43**

When I woke up it was dark already and when I looked at the clock I saw it was almost nine 'o clock. Well shit. Had I been sleeping for an entire day?

I got out of bed and walked to the kitchen to see Agni cooking something that smelled Indian. The strange thing was that even though I hadn't eaten anything for days, the scent did not appeal to me. I wasn't hungry at all.

Then Agni turned around to see who entered the kitchen and he dropped the big spoon he'd been holding, staring at me as if I was some sort of monster.

I frowned. 'What is it?' I asked him, not understanding what it was. Was it my hair? Did I have something on my face?

'Y-y-y…' He shook his head, grabbed the spoon and put himself back together before he said: 'I believe you might be sick as well, miss Lane. You look very… pale.'

This made me frown even more and I hurried to the entrance hall, because there was a mirror there. And then I understood what he'd said. One of my eyes was purple now, quite strange, and the other one was a bright colour green. And my skin. I was pale, but not the normal kind. The small scar that I'd had on my cheek ever since I was little was gone and my skin looked smoother, almost flawless.

I looked like Sebastian.

What had he done to me?

I hurried back to the kitchen. 'Where's Sebastian, Agni?' I asked him, trying to sound as if I wasn't freaking out. Which didn't go over well, but at least Agni didn't notice that.

Agni looked confused. 'He and Earl Phantomhive left over an hour ago. I… I assumed you knew.'

Oh. So they had gone away without me. Great. I still really wasn't a member of the team. But now was not the time to feel left out or hurt. 'Do you know where they went?' I asked him, already knowing the answer.

'I do not know, my Lady,' he said, but I was already running away before he'd finished his answer. I grabbed my coat and ran out of the house, put didn't put the coat on while I was running to the circus; the only place I could think of. I wasn't really that cold.

Then, suddenly, I was a dark shadow on the roofs of the London houses, jumping with a speed and grace that I recognized.

'Mister Spears!' I shouted, running after the dark shadow as he stopped. Then I looked harder and saw that it was – indeed William T Spears.

He jumped down the roof, landing in front of me. 'Ah, it's you. I didn't recognize you… you made quite a… change,' he said, as if it wasn't obvious enough. 'Why did you call my name?' he then asked.

'Where are you off to?' I asked, hoping that it would be where Sebastian and Ciel were.

He readjusted his glasses. 'I'm off to the estate of Baron Kelvin,' he said, 'I have work to do there.'

'If I asked you a question, would you answer me honestly, no matter what the question is?' I asked him, trying to trust this man while also failing to do so. Not because he hadn't been good to me, but because he looked so damn much like a demon that it was almost scary.

'Depends on the question,' William answered in all honesty. 'But I certainly would not lie.'

'What am I?' I asked.

'I won't tell you,' he answered.

I sighed. I knew it. 'Okay. Then I'll ask an easier question. That house that belong to that Baron-guy… Are Sebastian and Ciel there?'

'You mean the vile demon and its master?' William asked, clearly only asking so that he could insult Sebastian some more.

'Indeed,' I answered, trying to be calm.

'Yes,' William answered. 'Yes, they are.'

I took a deep breath. 'Okay. I thought so.' I sighed and stepped closer to the reaper. 'Take me with you.'

He looked like I'd just said something ridiculous. 'I do believe it's not proper to bring you with me, young lady. It's too dangerous and your existence is too important—'

'Yeah, yeah,' I interrupted, my patience wearing thin. 'I'm important and blah blah blah. Right now I don't care about that. You want to protect me? Fine. But I have someone I want to protect, too. And right now that person is at an estate belonging to a child-kidnapper – possible child-murderer – together with his demon, while also dealing with a cold and asthma. So yeah, I think I have a reason to be concerned.' I took another step and looked deep into those perfect green eyes of his. 'So, I'll ask once more. Take. Me. With. You.'

William readjusted his glasses again and looked at me with a slight look of surprise on his face. Then he said: 'Well, I suppose that this can be considered as a way to get in touch with your true self. And I also believe that someone like you is exactly what that boy needs to stay out of the demons claws… for a while at least. But remember that I might not be able to save you. And I'm started to feel like that demon doesn't want you to be saved.'

As William lifted me up so that he would move faster instead of my human-pace running, I laughed. 'Believe me,' I said, 'I already know that.'

XxX

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><p>The mansion was big, but it looked empty. I frowned as William put me down in front of the door. 'Where… where are they?'<p>

William closed his eyes only for a second before opening them again. 'In the cellar, I believe,' he told me, before readjusting his glasses again.

I sighed and looked at the front door, which was locked, of course. Well, maybe my strange voodoo-powers could finally come to good use for _me._ I slammed my hand on the door with the only thought in my mind that I wanted to break this door apart. And it did.

As if my hand was made of lightning the door blew away, pieces flying everywhere but my way. I gave William a look and he looked more surprised than I thought he would. He never really had much emotion on his face. 'Do you even know how you just did that?' he asked me.

'Nope,' I answered in all honesty. 'But it worked, so what do I care.' Then I ran inside, immediately looking for the stairs to the cellar. It wasn't until long that I noticed that William wasn't following me anymore, but I decided not to think about that now.

I found my way to the cellar, which was strangely not a stairs, but an easier way down, as if someone in a wheelchair lived here. Geez, they could've just installed an elevator, right? I mean, this mansion looked like the man living here sure as hell was rich enough.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The whole mansion was filled with creepy dolls. Right out of a horror movie. Scary, but not scary enough to keep me from moving.

There was light at the end of the hallway, and a sickening smell coming out of the room. Then I heard a voice of a man, who truly sounded like a lunatic. 'Now, Lord Phantomhive, let's repeat that day of three years ago!'

I reached the doorway of the room and saw that it looked almost like an old Roman arena, only a bit smaller. But the thing I noticed most was the cages, cages and cages full of children. And an altar in the middle of this round-shaped chamber. This looked like a scenery from hell.

And I had seen it before.

I didn't pass out. I was still there, but my eyes didn't see anything. They just saw darkness and heard the familiar voice of Ash talk with a voice that wasn't familiar at all. A voice darker than anything. 'This girl. I would like you to sacrifice her tonight. If you don't mind,' Ash said.

'Of course not!' the man said. 'You're one of the most important members! Of course we will sacrifice her! Such a beautiful child must be worth something to the devil.'

'Indeed she must,' was Ash' reaction.

An then the darkness was gone and I bathed in light, looking at the room where I would murdered. Where _he_ would murder me.

I remembered it now. The room with all the masked people, wanting to call on the devil to grant their wishes. Sick, twisted people who thought that killing children was a great idea. And Ash, who'd taken me away from my house, picking me up as if I was his to take. He put me in a bag and brought me to this place. I would've been the last to be sacrificed that evening. Children before me turned the altar red, but the devil that these wicked humans tried to call never came.

Until he _did _come, but not for them. The whole room was filled with darkness as one of the children, a child with bright blue eyes that wasn't in the same cage as me and seemed further away than any other child, because he was so close to freedom now, reached out with his hand to the dark creature, turning everyone to dust. Wait… everyone?

'Come, my dear. This is no place for a lady to be,' someone called, reaching her pale arms out to me as I bathed in heavenlike light. Her purple eyes looked at me and smiled. 'Look at you, you're a pretty lady. Don't worry, dear. I'm here to keep you alive.' Then she spread her white wings and suddenly I was outside, where someone that looked even more familiar waited for her.

'Angela,' the Undertaker said. 'You know that this will cost you your angel soul? You will become a fallen angel.' He sounded only a bit sad.

'Only an angel would've been quick and powerful enough to save her,' the angelic lady said. 'And I don't want to be a fallen angel. Please, would you kill me? I don't want to live on as a vile creature such as a fallen angel. I don't want to forget what real beauty is.' She put me down and I walked over to the Undertaker as he reached his hand out towards me. 'And please, take care of her. Make sure that no one ever forgets that she's an unique creature that might start a new era.'

'I will,' the Undertaker agreed as one of his hands covered my eyes to make me unable to see anything.

'I've never been able to forget that pain,' was the first thing I heard when the memory faded and I was back in the cellar again. 'I, who gave up everything to meet you, was the only one who couldn't.' The crazy man said and now I could see him. He was sitting in a wheel chair, covered in bandages, but still wearing fancy clothes. Ciel stood there frozen, with a gun pointed at the man's head. Sebastian just looked at the whole scene, but I assumed that he was aware of the fact that I was there. He was holding Joker restraint, with a knife against his throat.

'"Why is fate so bent on keeping us apart?" I wondered,' the man – who I assumed was baron Kelvin – said, a strange smile on his face. 'And then on that day, they were all gone. It was you who killed the, wasn't it, my lord?'

I covered my hand to make sure that no one heard the scream I screamed when I realised that that boy from my memories had been Ciel. And the dark shadow that killed everyone, everything, without thinking twice had been Sebastian.

Ciel had been tortured there in ways that I had tried to forget. Ciel had been nothing but a toy for those men, who'd killed so many children just because they could. And the hatred that I felt right now had burned inside of him, calling upon a demon more wicked than he could have imagined.

And now I understood that Ciel had been one hundred percent right. What I did not understand, though, was why all those children had to die. I didn't get it at all.

'How I envy them,' the baron said, rambling on like a mad fool with an unhealthy obsession with Ciel. 'A beautiful end, with the cold moon at their deathbeds… Please, make me one of them. Look!' he screamed happy as he threw his hands in the air as if he was a freaking child in Disneyland. 'I've prepared everything just as it was then! The ritual chamber… and the lamps… And finally, my lord—_you!_'

Well, I bet he would be happy to know that he also had me here. _Yay! _Geez, this man was fucked up.

Then Ciel shot him, not in his heat, but his stomach, showing no doubt or mercy as he did so. That was the moment I ran downstairs with the intend to wrap my arms around Ciel and to make this wicked world disappear. But then I saw the look in his eyes and I froze, realising that this wasn't something you could make better by embracing him. This wasn't something I could fix. Because Sebastian had already fixed this three years ago. And he had saved Ciel's life at the same time as he'd murdered him. He killed him while saving him.

'Father!' Joker screamed and he managed to break free from Sebastian, running towards Ciel with a knife. But then Sebastian but the knife he'd in his hand to work and as Joker's arm fell on the ground, I looked away.

As Joker fell on the ground screaming, the baron also fell out of his chair screaming: 'It hurts, my lord… It's agony!' He crawled to Ciel, begging him while grabbing his feet. 'Please! If you're going to kill me, please give me the death they had!'

I just stood there, lost in this whole situation. I had no reason to be here, felt like I shouldn't even be here, but I was. I was standing here with no other purpose than seeing things that could not be unseen.

'The death they had?' Ciel said and even though the tone sounded emotionless, there were clearly a lot of emotions hidden in his voice. Ciel pulled his feet free and stamped with his foot on the baron's head. Showing a Ciel that I had never seen before. A strong, but yet so wicked Ciel that looked more demonic than Sebastian. But I knew that he wasn't. Because this wickedness came from fear, agony, pain and tears that a demon such as Sebastian couldn't even dream of.

Ciel pointed his gun at the baron's head again. 'Then you'd best prostrate yourself like the worm you are, and beg a demon,' he said.

Joker crawled towards Ciel, finding difficulty considering he didn't have any arms left anymore. 'Please, don't kill him!' he screamed and I felt my eyes welling up with tears, not sure who I was crying for. 'Whatever else he may be, he's our saviour! Abandoned by our parents, abandoned by the State… He saved us from a daily fear of starvation and death! We have lots of brothers and sisters back at the orphanage who are still young! They can't live without him! So—'

Ciel didn't even turn to look at Joker. 'So that's why you kidnapped all the children?' he asked, the cruel reality behind his words was not only harsh on Joker, but also on me. The first-stringers really _did _kidnap the children, hadn't they? Dagger, Doll, Beast. All of them.

'To save your own skins, you obeyed him and sacrificed others,' Ciel went on, still refusing to look at Joker. 'But you aren't wrong,' he then said, finally looking at him as the tears streamed down my face and I made soft noises and hiccups that really made me hate myself. 'You fought to protect your world. What's wrong with that? In the end, "justice" is just a bunch of principle made by those with power to suit themselves. No one's looking out for others. If you're careless, you'll be robbed. There are only two kinds of people in this world. Those who steal and those two are stolen from. And today, I steal your futures.' The intense emotions in his eyes seemed to calm and his eyes just became cold and heavy as he said: 'That's all this is.'

Then Joker started to laugh, making Sebastian and Ciel frown. I couldn't do that, though. I was still way too upset to do anything besides drowning in my goddamn tears. Jesus, I really was a cry baby.

'Yeah, you're right,' Joker said laughing. 'But guess what? You too will lose something precious tonight. The troupe is on its way to your mansion.' I noticed that his accent was almost completely gone now. What, had that just been for the show? To give us the idea that he wasn't from around here?

Ciel's calm expression faded and there came a look on his face that I didn't get. He clearly wasn't that concerned about the house staff. Who was it, that he was concerned about? Who was it that could arrive at his mansion anytime, and stay here anyti—

Elizabeth. Oh no.

Joker was still laughing. 'How do you think we captured all those children without getting caught?' he asked. 'All the witnesses disappear. We're pros. If anyone crosses our paths on the job for any reason, we eliminate them.'

I hadn't really believed it until he said it out loud. He, and his whole troupe, weren't only kidnappers. They were murders. Even worse than Ciel or Sebastian. Because Sebastian didn't deny what he was, even if his current act was nothing but that; an act. And Ciel also didn't deny what he was and what he'd done. And he would never kill anyone without a good reason.

But then Ciel calmed down and I frowned, not understanding why he wasn't upset anymore.

'You're the target,' Joker went on, 'I wonder how many will be killed while they search for you?'

'Killed?' Ciel repeated, sounding surprisingly sassy. If it had been any other situation, I would've found it funny. But now wasn't really the time to laugh.

'Yes,' Joker said, clearly enjoying the idea. 'Everyone, even the servants.'

'_My _servants?' Ciel said, again with that sarcastic tone in his voice.

Sebastian chuckled softly, but I was too confused to know it the chuckle had been justified or not. If it wasn't, I would kick him in the face.

But his laugh made Joker forget all about his happy thoughts. 'What's so funny?' he asked suspicious.

Ciel put his walking stick – great he'd actually brought it with him – on the ground as he said: 'Who do you take them for? Those are Phantomhive servants. They are private soldiers Sebastian and I personally selected. They'll protect Phantomhive secrets and Phantomhive pride from anything. That's what makes a Phantomhive servant.'

I looked as surprised as Joker, only less terrified. Mei-Rin a soldier? But she was a klutz! Well, it did explain why she didn't seem like a maid at all. And why Baldroy couldn't cook. And why Finnian wasn't really the proper gardener.

'Private… soldiers… ?' Joker said, starting to sound worse and worse every second because of the huge amount of blood loss. I mean, his arm just got cut off. He was bleeding like a waterfall.

'Phantomhive is a shadow which exists solely to dispose of Her Majesty's worries,' Ciel explained and I wasn't sure why he was explaining this to a dead man. Well, maybe because he _was _a dead man that he told him. 'Once you enter our den, you can never return to the light.'

Joker looked like he was giving up, when he stumbled: 'T-they're pros, too! They won't be easy to—'

Sebastian interrupted him, clearly thinking Joker's words weren't worth hearing. 'You're free to believe what you like, but don't forget that _I _chose them.' He waved with the small and simple knife with which he'd cut Joker's arm off. Then he dropped it and as it fell on the ground, Joker's hope shattered. He lay his hand on the ground, giving up on his own life, but still praying for that of his brothers and sisters.

Then he started to cry and it would've been heart-breaking if my heart hadn't frozen as I stood there, not willing to feel anything. I just wanted to save this children and go home. And I would be living my whole life trying to forget I ever was here. Trying to forget that this evening, this night, ever happened.

'Don't cry,' Ciel said. 'It's pathetic. The world is kind to no one.'

Joker looked at Ciel with a look at I could never understand. '…Smile…' he mumbled desperately, trying to find hope where there was none.

'I only have one name,' Ciel said coldly, 'and it's Ciel Phantomhive.'

Then the sound of a wheelchair alarmed us all. 'Sorry I'm late—I brought more!' Doc said as he wheeled into the room. Then he saw the scene that was happening in front of his eyes and his face changed. From cheerful to surprised. 'Hmm?' he said, clearly not shocked by seeing the baron and Joker like this. He seemed to be more surprised that we were here. 'Black, Smile and Whisper? What are you doing here?'

'St-Stay away, Doc!' Joker said, his voice sounding like he was chocking in his own blood now. 'They're… the Queen's guard dog!'

Well, I wasn't really, but hey, right now it was a bigger compliment then 'the girl who just tagged along and was using sarcasm to mask the fact that she was completely traumatised at this point'.

'Oh?' Doc said, only slightly surprised. I wasn't sure how to feel about him anymore. Suddenly he seemed like one of the villains. 'You're the ones?'

'Run, please!' Joker begged, but I wasn't sure how Doc was supposed to run away since he was in a wheelchair.

Or he could just get out of his wheelchair and walk… wait… what the hell?

'What? Why?' Doc asked as he stood and only now I noticed that there was another cage behind him, a cage that was brought here by children that looked more like zombies. 'You're the kidnappers. I only did what the baron hired me to do.'

Doesn't mean you're legal, buddy.

He walked down, to the altar, way too calm for his own good. 'I have no reason to run.'

Me, Ciel and Sebastian weren't the only ones that were surprised that Doc clearly had legs that worked just fine. Joker looked like this was one of the biggest betrayals of his life. 'Doc… your legs aren't… lame?'

'My legs?' Doc repeated, actually having the guts to sound surprised. 'Oh, yes, they're perfectly fine. I've just been sitting in the chair because kids like you trust me more easily that way.' Then he noticed the baron on the ground and I realised that he might not have noticed him until now. 'Lord Kelvin!' he said, still not really convincingly surprised. He ran towards the baron, but he quickly saw that there was nothing to be done. 'Well, he's done for. That's just cruel. I'd finally found a patron who understood my ideals!'

'Ideals?' Sebastian asked, voicing what everyone was thinking.

'Right, my ideals! I've been working for years to make the perfect prosthetic!' he said as he got up and turned towards us, having the same look on his face that Lord Kelvin had. Like he was a kid in Disneyland. 'And after all my research, at last I arrived at the finest material. Lighter and stronger than wood, and with the unique, sterile beauty of ceramic!' He picked up Joker's fake hand, that was laying on the ground beside him. He stroke it like the hand was his baby. 'The only problem with my material was that it was a touch difficult to gather.'

'Yes,' Sebastian agreed. 'Your prosthetics did have a lovely texture.'

_You would know, _I thought, _you slept with a woman who had a prosthetic leg._

Then a wicked smile appeared on Sebastian lips. 'Almost like bone china.'

'You can appreciate this beauty, Black?!' Doc said, clearly happy to hear that. 'But you're off the mark! I wish you wouldn't rate my work the same as _cattle _bone chine!'

Ciel and I both made a surprised sound as the puzzles pieces slowly fell into place.

'I do recall you saying you used "special" materials,' Sebastian said.

'That's right! Special materials I can only get here!' Doc said happily.

Then I understood. And the moment I did was the same moment I wish that I didn't. Because I didn't want to know. Didn't want to see. Joker actually _touched me _with that hand of his!

Ciel then understood as well. 'D-Do you mean…?!'

Doc leaned against one of the cages holding starving, sad children with no hope of life left in their eyes. The only sigh that they were still alive were their beating hearts and slow breaths. 'It saves the trouble of dumping them somewhere. Brilliant recycling, don't you think?'

Since Joker was the stupidest one in the room, he only got it now. He started screaming, but there was no reason to scream. It had already been done. He started to smash what was left of his fake arm against the ground, trying to break it, tear it off of his body.

'See?' Doc said, still perfectly calm. 'Another patient rejecting it.'

Joker realised that it was no use and he finally seemed to realise that everything he had done had been so, so wrong. 'I… can't believe what we've…' He couldn't get any more words out.

Doc waved with Joker's hand, smiling as if this was funny. 'And you were so happy to have this right hand, too!'

'If I'd known… I wouldn't have…' again the words stopped.

Doc didn't understand that. 'You wouldn't have wanted it? Are you sure?'

Joker couldn't react, all energy had left his body. With all the blood that had come out of him, it wasn't more than logical that this was the moment his body tore him down, killing him in the worst moment of his life.

Doc sighed. 'Well, this is the end of my job here.' Then he seemed to gain some energy back. 'Oh, I say!' he turned to Ciel. 'Lord Phantomhive, would you hire me? In fact, introduce me to the Queen!'

Okay, this man was freaking nuts.

'Shut your mouth, you scum,' Ciel said, his eyes looking all wicked and cold again. This time, however, I didn't fear it. I actually wanted to cheer him on.

'Aw, are you another pigheaded type who cares more about process than results? Everyone sings my praises until they know!' he said, as if that was the issue here. This wasn't about prosthetics, dude! This was about _murder!_

He started to open a cage and grabbed one of the lifeless girls in it, dragging her over the floor as he brought her to the altar. 'But the baron was different. He was highly motivated to seek beauty, and he spared no expense covering my materials and costs! He was a top-class patron.' He put the girl on the altar.

Wait… what was he doing?

Ciel just watched as Doc just went on talking, but he seemed to be shaken when he also realised that Doc was doing something that he shouldn't. 'Making top-class products takes top-class ingredients. It's just common sense, don't you think?'

Ciel started to stumble back and I could almost _see_ the memories burning in his eye as he did, but my mind was already protecting me from such a thing, holding me together with one simple emotion called hate.

Ciel started to shiver and he dropped his gun and his walking stick as his eye twitched and heavy breaths came out of his mouth.

As Doc grabbed a knife and looked at the small girl he'd laid on the altar, he said: 'A cow's bones are fine to use, but a human's bones aren't? Who decided _that_?'

I walked closer to Ciel, kneeling down to grab the gun that was laying on the ground and standing up again, holding the weapon in my useless hands. I felt Sebastian looking at me with his burning eyes, curious and entertained with all this.

Doc drove the knife into the girl's body before I could do anything, but then Ciel started to lose his mind, he started to scream and cry and I heard him make all kind of sounds that I did not want to hear.

But I wasn't looking at him. Sebastian was taking care of him. I was trying to figure out how a gun worked. Could I just pull the trigger now? Or was there something else I had to do? And how do you shoot straight?

My hands were trembling too much and too many memories were clouding my vision, making me unable to see anything.

'Young master. What is there to fear?'

_Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up._

'You're outside the cage now, my lord.'

_Die die die die die die die die die._

'Now call my name.'

_Kill kill kill kill kill kill._

'Se…bast… Sebastian! Sebastian! Sebastian!'

_Snuff out the unclean! Snuff out the unclean! Snuff out the unclean!_

'Kill them!'

BANG!

A bullet went straight to Doc's head before Ciel could even finish his order. As Doc fell on the ground, Sebastian took care of Kelvin, who apparently had still been alive, though barely, while carrying Ciel like he had before, like he was a baby. But this time, Ciel's face was buried in his coat, as if he wanted to hide from this world.

Sebastian stared at me with his eyes burning like hellfire as he said: 'It's over.' He narrowed his eyes and I realised that he was looking at my changed features, observing the girl that could have been a demon if only her eyes had been red and her nails had been black.

I was trembling, the rage and hatred inside of me hadn't calmed down yet. _Snuff out the unclean! Snuff out the unclean! Snuff out the unclean! Kill them! Kill them! Kill them!_

'Burn it,' Ciel said softly and I'd almost missed it because of my boiling rage and anger.

'Would "it" be this mansion, my lord?' Sebastian asked, sounding surprised and only a bit confused.

'Yes,' was Ciel's immediate answer.

_The children! _my mind said, calming me down only a bit. I walked towards the cages, opening them easily since they weren't locked and tried to get the children out of there, but they refused to move. As if they were dolls trapped inside their own lifeless bodies, waiting for death to take them.

'Young master, I gathered from Her Majesty's letter that our current mission is to find the kidnappers and rescue the children. And the kidnappers are already…'

I grabbed a young boy's hand, but he didn't respond. I gave up. These children might as well be dead. 'Burn it,' I said at the same time Ciel grabbed Sebastian's face and shouted: 'Shut up, shut _up!_ Don't leave anything behind! Burn everything here to ash! Have you forgotten your job?! This is an _order!_'

I didn't look at Ciel, nor Sebastian. I sat on the stone ground seeing not only everything that had happened tonight, but also three years ago, in front of my eyes and realising that this world was even uglier than Sebastian had said. This world was more demonic than a demon could ever be.

When the fire came, I wasn't surprised, but I didn't move. I did look up when Sebastian said 'yes, my lord' though, but I only gave him a sad smile. 'He didn't order you to save me,' I told him. 'You are under no obligation to do so.'

A polite smile appeared on his face. 'That seems to be the case, indeed,' he said, holding fire in his bare hand and his other hand holding his master – his prey. 'It was nice meeting such an entertaining lady such as yourself, miss Lane. It's a real tragedy that I didn't get a taste of that soul of yours.' And then he vanished, leaving me alone for the fire to consume me.

And I close my eyes as I smiled, knowing that I hadn't made a difference at all. Knowing that, just like Joker, I had died in the worst moment of my life, accomplishing nothing whatsoever. Failing to protect the ones I wanted to protect and failing and being anywhere near a good human being.

But now I at least knew that such a thing as 'a good human being' didn't exist.

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><p>XxX<p>

**Woah. That got really dark. Sorry about that. It will all be rainbows and butterflies from now on (not). So yeah. I'm again too lazy to do a word for today :s**

**And… does anyone know what she is yet? I guess it's pretty hard to guess, but it sure as hell was a lot of fun to come up with.**

**trepidon: thank you so much! Though I do believe sleep is important XD**

**promocat: yeah… it didn't really get better for her in this chapter either…**

**Angie120: Thanks! :)**

**KillerCookies: Thank you so much!**

**Thanks everyone for reading/reviewing/whatever you can do on this site. Love you all!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>


	44. Chapter 44

**So yeah, I told you guys I would update! I didn't think it would be this soon, though, but hey, what happens happens.**

**So this chapter is a bit strange, since there were I few places and points I wanted Clarissa to be at certain times and with certain people, but to bind those certain points together was quite hard, so I'm not very happy with how this chapter worked out, but I couldn't find a better way to do it.**

**Hope you guys will enjoy this chapter even though it's not a favorite of mine and please keep in mind that I do not own Kuroshitsuji.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 44**

The fire didn't consume me. It didn't even come close. A familiar gardening tool grabbed me and pulled me away before the fire could hurt me, putting me on the roof.

William looked at me with a slightly annoyed look. 'Do you want to give me extra paper work, miss Lane?' he asked me.

I was too confused to even think. What just happened? 'Er… No?' My voice was shaking more than it should, but maybe that was because _I _was shaking. I wasn't even sure why. Was I cold? Was I scared? I didn't understand.

'Then shut up and sit there until I've finished my work,' he said. Then he pulled a disgusted face. 'You really do smell like that vile demon.' Then he sighed and grabbed that black notebook of his. 'Honestly,' he mumbled, not talking to me. 'I can't imagine what Personnel is thinking.'

Me neither. But mostly because I had no idea who 'Personnel' was. Maybe it was a group of people. I don't know.

The most confusing thing of it all was the fact that we were standing – well, I was sitting, but yeah – on a burning house and William was doing paperwork. How odd.

'Waiting until now to send help when this clearly isn't a one-man job…' He turned to the other side of the roof and I followed his glare, seeing a man with the same eye-colour, but lighter hair and overall younger look, standing there with a… lawnmower? What the fuck?

'Ronald Knox,' William stated.

The man laughed. 'Sorry, Senior Spears! I feel like I hurried, personally, but I guess you're angry, huh? Oh—are you disappointed it's me?'

Okay, so this was another reaper and reapers apparently had an obsession with gardening tools. Okay. I was okay with that.

William readjusted his glasses. 'No. I just had a sinking feeling I'd get _him_, since he was released today.' He turned back to the fire. 'Being wrong is an unexpected stroke of luck.'

When I also looked at the fire, I saw strange strings flying into the air. They seemed like rolls of films or something. I wanted to ask what they were, but then I remembered that William had said that I should shut up, so I decided not to talk.

'Now that you mention it,' the junior reaper said as he came closer. 'Senior Sutcliff ran off to do another job and he was _really _excited… Hmm, what was it?'

Ah. Grell. They were talking about Grell. I had to admit that I was glad as well that it wasn't Grell, but this other guy who showed up.

William gave me a quick glance before turning to the junior reaper again. 'The Phantomhive mansion?' he guessed.

'Right!' junior said, snapping his fingers. 'That one!' Then he took out a black notebook as well. Probably a reaper-thing. 'That job looks easier,' he said as he looked through the book.

'What a shame,' William said, closing his eyes. 'For both of you.'

Wait… was he talking about Grell and Junior or me and junior? I was confused now.

'For heaven's sake… Workers cause unnecessary trouble when they get emotionally involved,' William said as he looked through his own book. 'Our job as grim reapers is to examine and collect souls according to the list distributed by the higher-ups. Nothing more. Even the examinations are merely formalities.'

'Well then,' Junior – I know he's called Ronald, but I wasn't going to call him that – said, 'let's get this "due diligence" over with! There's a party with the secretarial pool today. Plus, I'm a no-overtime man.'

That made me laugh, but my laugh sounded strange. I sounded like a dying dolphin.

William gave me a glance and Junior finally noticed me. 'Ah!' he said, pointing at me with his hand. 'You're the girl!' He grabbed my chin to get a closer look. 'Oh, your eyes are absolutely awesome!' he told me. 'And your skin is just like ours! Quite cool! I didn't expect her to look like this! Grell said that she looked like a really ugly human girl…'

Now that I looked at him up close, I saw that he had the exact same eye colour as William. Maybe Grell had the same colour too? Maybe it was a reaper-thing.

'She wasn't like this before, though,' William said, not denying what Grell had said about me, but not confirming it either. 'And… are you able to see if she's in shock or not? Is she supposed to tremble like that?'

'You think she's in shock?' Junior asked William. He looked at me with different eyes now and then said: 'She might as well be. I don't know. I'm not a doctor. Maybe she's just cold? Or warm? Or scared?' He shrugged. 'No idea.'

William sighed and readjusted his glasses again. 'Well, then, will leave her for now. It's not like we can do anything about it if she indeed _is _in shock.' Another sigh. 'Cause of death for most of the subjects was burning, but it was a demon that triggered the fire.'

I cringed.

Junior let out a surprised 'gah'. 'Seriously?!' he asked shocked. The way he reacted sounded like demons were rare, but rather famous creatures. I'd thought as much.

'He doesn't seem the type to scavenge for food, but we mustn't be careless,' William told Junior. 'If he makes off with one of the souls, there _will _be paperwork.'

Williams greatest worry seemed to be paperwork. Somehow that was funny.

'Yessir, I'll put my back into it,' Junior answered. Grabbing his lawnmower and turning it on. 'I never work overtime, after all.'

'Ronald Knox,' William said, frowning as he saw the lawnmower. I know, dude, it's weird. 'Is that death scythe approved?'

'The forms are all in order. I have a lady friend in General Affairs,' Junior told his senior.

William sighed. 'Right then, let's get them all collected by the end of this shift.'

'Roger!' Junior agreed. 'Every last one.'

And then William grabbed me, but me on his back and we jumped into the fire to do the work that reapers apparently did. The fire didn't burn them, though, as if it knew that it wasn't there to kill these reapers.

'What are those strings coming out of them?' I asked, my voice sounding like I'd been partying until two.

William didn't say a thing, of course. But Junior did give me a cheerful smile before giving me an answer. 'Cinematic records. A sort movie of their lives,' he said.

'And you have to watch all of those?' I asked, one eyebrow pulled up.

'Jup,' was Junior's answer and he didn't seem too happy about that either.

I pulled a face. 'Geez. That sounds boring as fuck.'

'Watch your language,' William warned. 'Or I'll drop you.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

After their job was done it was clear that William was unsure as what he should do to me. It wasn't like I could just show up at Ciel's door, saying 'just kidding, not dead!' and move in with them again. That would probably make Sebastian want to kill me more. And maybe Ciel would agree with him then, too.

So William brought me to the townhouse, where only Agni and Soma were, who were according to William 'just two ordinary annoying humans who couldn't cause much harm'. I didn't fully agree with that statement, but at this time I felt like I was frozen, not really sure why.

William dropped my off in front of the front door and left me there after knocking on the door, leaving me alone in the dark.

It was Agni who answered the door and the moment he saw me, he frowned. 'Miss Lane!' he said, immediately shooting forward and pressing a hand against my forehead. 'Oh, you're as cold as ice! Are you sick? Or…' he frowned. '…are you in shock?' he then asked, as if he recognized the symptoms.

'I…. I don't know,' I said as I shivered in his arms, seeing white balls of light blocking my vision. Was I going to pass out? I didn't want to pass out.

Strangely enough, that thought made me cry, making Agni only more worried. 'Miss Lane?' he said, but I couldn't find him anymore. Bright light in my eyes consumed the darkness around me.

'I don't want to go,' I cried, not understanding what I was saying and doing anymore. 'I want to help.' I grabbed Agni, but still couldn't see him. 'I want to go after him!'

_I reckon you have a trauma, _Drossel said inside my head, _but you're hiding it away. Not a smart move, I say._

I started to laugh, not sure what was real anymore. 'I think I want to die,' I told whoever was listening and then I embraced the light that consumed me, unable to see anything because of the blinding light.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I didn't dream. I wasn't even sure if I was sleeing. Maybe I was just laying still somewhere. The only thing I knew for sure that I woke up with the Undertaker sitting next to my bed in my room in the townhouse, where Agni had probably put me in.

I shot straight up, confused and trying to get everything into context as I asked: 'What the bloody hell are you doing here?'

He laughed his horror-movie laugh and covered his mouth with one hand. 'Who knows?' he asked, still laughing.

I blinked a few times as my eyes got used to the light in the room and my head started to put everything back together. 'I'm not in shock,' I said, both surprised and a little proud. I wanted to convince myself that I wasn't a weak girl, a damsel in distress, but yeah, I actually kind of was. So not being in shock was pretty great.

'So it would seem,' Undertaker reacted. 'It's not surprising. Creatures like you are protected from weaknesses such as shock and trauma.'

This made me want to roll my eyes and smack myself in the face. 'What _am _I, Undertaker?' I asked him, my patience wearing thinner and thinner every second.

He laughed again. 'Who knows?'

XxX

Undertaker had told me that Ciel and Sebastian would take a certain train and he told me on which time. He even told me they were riding first class and that they had reserved a cabin for themselves. Because apparantely that was possible. I took public transfort to the trainstation and walked towards the right train, being way too early because I wanted to be in their cabin before they arrived.

When I wanted to enter the train, a little girl came up to me carrying a basket full of oranges. 'Miss, would you like to buy one?' she asked me.

Her face was so angelic and innocent that it made me want to cry. All those children. This child cloud so easily have been one of them. I gave her some money Undertaker had given me just in case and she gave me an orange in return. 'Have a save journey, miss!' she said smiling and I really had to keep myself from hugging her as I entered the train.

I sat down in Ciel's reserved cabin, trying to think of the right thing to say. This had been Undertaker's plan, since he told me that near Ciel I was the safest, as long as he had is emotions under control, since Ciel did believe that I was the key to his revenge and he could keep Sebastian in check if he wanted to.

It was Sebastian who opened the door to the cabin, of course, and since I couldn't think of anything else to say, I stood up from my seat and held up my orange. 'Do you want some?' I asked as I saw how both Ciel and Sebastian looked at me as if there was a dinosaur in the train.

Then I saw that Sebastian was holding an orange in his hand as well and smiled, feeling a comfortable warmth burning inside of me as I realised that Sebastian obviously hadn't been the one to buy that orange. 'Wow, you are nice today, Ciel. Why? Did your conscious feel sorry for all those children you mur—'

And then Ciel wrapped his arms around me and embraced me. Ciel actually _embraced _me. I wasn't really sure what to do. He had my arms in an embrace as well, so I couldn't really hug him back, nor could I push him off. Man, this day got more confusing every minute.

As Ciel still hugged me I looked at Sebastian, who stared at me with narrowed eyes, clearly trying to guess what had saved my life this time.

Then Ciel released me and he said: 'I almost thought that I'd lost my biggest clue in my revenge by mistake.'

Yeah, he totally ruined the moment there.

But then he blushed, which was kind of cute.

I sighed. 'Well, lucky for you Sebastian seems to be the only one who wants me dead. William saved me.' I left the details about Agni and Undertaker out of my story for now. 'And I'm sorry, but I will have to stay in your cabin.' I sat back down again. 'And yes, I will sit next to the window. That's a priority for me.'

Ciel looked at me without saying a word for a while before sitting down next to the window as well, in the seat across me. 'Ah,' he said slowly, but he was staring at my face with a strange look on his face.

I realised that he hadn't looked at my face at all yesterday, so he was surprised by the sudden change in eye and skin colour.

I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, leaning my head against the window. 'If you're wondering why I look like this: I have no idea. No one cares to explain it to me and I have had other things on my mind these few hours.' Then I opened my eyes again and looked at Ciel. 'So… where are we going?' I asked.

Sebastian sat down next to me, which should've annoyed me but right now I couldn't care less, and started to cut Ciel's orange as he said: 'I wanted to ask something about that our destination too, my lord.'

'What?' Ciel asked, ignoring me and giving his butler the priority.

'Why visit their old orphanage?' he asked, answering my question through his question. So we were going to visit Joker's old orphanage. That didn't have a boss now, since he got killed off. Bloodily I might add.

Ciel put his elbow against the glass and leaned against his hand. 'Its patron is dead. It can't possible stay open without one.' He looked out of the window as he added: 'Lord Burton or his lot would probably be willing to donate, and I don't mind introducing them.'

Sebastian didn't look up from his orange as he said: 'Out of pity?'

Ciel's answer came too quick, indicating that he'd thought about this. 'The aftermath is part of a Phantomhive's job. There's no need to sacrifice those in regular society to underworld affairs.'

Sebastian handed Ciel the cut orange and held his hand out to me, so I could hand my orange to him. With almost no emotion in his voice he asked: 'Then why did we burn those children?'

I already knew the answer to this question. Or, at least, I could guess it. My reason for not hating Ciel for burning them was also the reason I thought Ciel would give. Even if it wasn't his actual reason.

'I've seen many like them,' Ciel said as he took off his leather glove to eat the orange without dirtying his gloves. 'Once they end up like that, they can never go back to normal. Which means… '

'…they'd better be off dead? That's very arrogant,' Sebastian said, clearly not sure if what Ciel was saying was the real reason. I had to admit that I wasn't sure about that either. He seemed to be taken over by trauma yesterday, unable to make such a well thought out decision. I had made it, though, but more out of pity than anything.

'Is there any human who isn't arrogant?' Ciel asked Sebastian, a strange, almost wicked smile on his face.

'I've never met one, my lord,' he told Ciel in all honesty, glancing over at me.

Asshole. How was I arrogant? Okay, I might have acted arrogant sometimes, but I certainly wasn't such an arrogant little brat like Ciel. But that was part of Ciel's charm, really.

'How much strength do you think it takes for someone weak—let alone a child—to recover from a situation like that?' He ate another piece of orange.

_You recovered. And I did, too. _I didn't say it out loud though. These two probably didn't know yet that I had been there when Sebastian had made a contract with Ciel. I remembered his voice, his words, everything. But I would keep that to myself. I felt like that kind of information could kill me if it fell into the wrong hands. 'Wrong' being in this case Ciel and/or Sebastian.

It took a while before Ciel said anything else, clearly considering if he could say what he wanted to say with me here. 'That day… Moments before I'd have broken completely, I managed to summon you. You brought me necessary strength, and that's the only reason I recovered. But you were the only demon there—and you belong to me.' He sighed and leaned on his elbow again, looking out of the window. 'Yes, I'm arrogant. But not arrogant enough to make irresponsible boasts that I can save others.'

'I see,' Sebastian said after a while.

Then Ciel looked at me, not saying anything for a while. Then he frowned and sat up, looking closer, deeper into my eyes. 'Sebastian… Look at her. Don't you think one of her eyes looks like a reaper's eye?'

Sebastian turned my face to his and stared into my eyes. He released me quickly and then said: 'I do see the similarities, yes. But I must say that her usual eye-colour is almost exactly the same, so I wouldn't pay too much attention to it.'

'What are you trying to say?' I asked, frowning.

'I'm just trying to figure you out,' was Ciel's simple answer. After that he looked out of the window and I saw a faint blush on his cheeks. 'That's all there is to it.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

We arrived at the destination. Which was nothing more than a place in the middle of nowhere. Well, at least it was more fancy than Barrymore, because they at least had shops and cabbies.

We took a cab to the orphanage and the cab dropped us off at the beginning of a hill, saying that it was on top of the hill.

As we walked up the hill I noticed that Ciel was having difficulty with walking. This was the first time I had seen that. Luckily he'd brought his walking stick. But did he realise he looked really stupid with that hat and bow, and all dressed in black, too? Wasn't that kind of Sebastian's thing, wearing only black? Maybe Ciel was in mourning for all those children. Although I knew that he would never admit that even if that was the case.

Sebastian walked behind us and I walked in front of Ciel, walking faster than he. But when I reached the top of the hill, I wanted to turn around immediately.

The orphanage was no longer there.

Well, the building was still there, but it was half destroyed and empty. And it clearly had been empty for a while. This roof was half-gone and all the windows were broken. This was clearly no place to live anymore.

'It appears,' Sebastian pointed out as we walked through the ruins, 'that Lord Kelvin was lying.' We reached the end of the ruins, revealing that there was nothing here. 'Judging from its state of disrepair, it's been empty for quite a while. From the way the doctor talked, I would venture that the orphans here were… ' He didn't finish his sentence. He didn't have to.

It was silent for a long time. The only thing I heard was myself breathing and the wind, but then Ciel suddenly started to laugh. Loud and cheerful, like a child. But in this context, it was wrong. It was all wrong.

'Ciel?' I said on the same time Sebastian said: 'Young master?'

He only started to laugh harder and I could hear a soft sound of surprise coming from Sebastian's mouth.

'There was nothing!' Ciel shouted hysterical, still in that strange, weirdly cheerful way. 'Everything they had to protect was long gone!' He laughed a short laugh between his words. 'And they didn't even know! They were so desperate to do it—they all died!' Another hysterical laughter. 'We mock their desperate wished, and trample them like insects! Cowardly, base—we're more demonic than demons are!' He said, still cheerful and laughter while he was almost dancing through the field. Ciel laughed so hard that it frightened me and he put his arms around his stomach.

Then suddenly, the laughter was gone and he looked down, not looking at me or Sebastian, but looking at the ground where the orphans once played.

'I'm just like them,' he said and my eyes filled themselves with the tears I hated so much again, but I wasn't sure if it was because of the wind of because of Ciel. 'I'm full of the same ugliness they were. This is how humans are.' He grabbed his coat on the place where his heart was beating in his chest, finally looking up at Sebastian, ignoring me completely. 'It's how we are, Sebastian!'

It took quite a while for Sebastian to get over his surprise, but then he closed his eyes and smiled. 'Yes, indeed,' he agreed.

Then the wind blew Ciel's bow of his head and took it with itself into the air, unable to grasp. That was the moment that Ciel started to shiver and I knew that he was trying to keep himself together.

And as I tried to help him I put my arms around him, keeping him together with my arms. I was surprised that he let me, but I was more surprised that he held onto me, letting his hat fall down as he grabbed me like he needed me. Maybe the wind would blew his hat away as well. I didn't know.

I noticed that Ciel cried a few tears as I stroke his hair and I looked at the sky, that suddenly seemed so much more beautiful as I sung: '_Tom, he was a piper's son. He learnt to play when he was young. And all the tune that he could play was "over the hills and far away". Over the hills and great way off, the wind shall blow my top-knot off._'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**End of the chapter! This one was quite short, but it is the last one in the circus arc and the previous one was quite long, so I forgive myself. And I'm tired and again too lazy to come up with a word, so yeah, I probably will stop that 'word of the day'-thing, since I'm not doing it very often.**

**And I've been singing that 'Tom, the piper's son' song all day now! I've driven my friends crazy XD**

**And we're so close to the chapter in which everything becomes clear! Well, we're still about four chapters away from it, maybe even more, but hey, considering that we've already had over forty chapters, I think it's save to use the word 'almost'. I actually am really excited about the last chapter, strangely enough, because I have so many awesome ideas for that one chapter. But we're not even close to the end, so I guess I'll just have to wait and make sure to not forget all my ideas.**

**Next chapter will be a bit of a filler one before we continue our story, and the story continues where we left of in season one of the anime; after the curry arc. And I will skip the filler episodes, which is like one or two, I'm not sure, I can't think right now for some reason.**

**Insanity runs through my vains: I'm sorry if that's confusing; I just use what school thought me. But then again, I am Dutch, so maybe in English it's strange. I don't know. But thanks!**

**Fire in a Dark Soul: Yeah, I kind of like the darkness, but things will get lighter now before going off into darkness again. And I won't tell you if you're right or wrong yet, but I will say that she, indeed, as a connection with angels (I'm ****confirming this because it was kind of obvious****).**

**PyrroLou: Well, she did survive. Hooray for William! XD And thanks, love to hear that you like my story! And I won't tell you if you're right or wrong, mostly because of spoilers, but also because I'm evil ;)**


	45. Chapter 45

**So I said I was going on vacation… But I decided that I wanted to stay at home so yay, more chapters for you! I didn't want to stay in the cold snow all week while I had to make a lot of homework and such, so I decided to just skip skiing for this year.**

**And I would like to tell you guys that I'm feeling tired, but not normal tired, but so tired that you actually get really hyper. So if this chapter makes less sense than usual, I blame my lack of sleep. And the typos... yeah... I really should do something about them, shouldn't I... but I'm way too lazy! Which is really bad, but yeah. Can't help it.**

**This is a bit of a filler-chapter. Ciel will be a bit out of character here, but hey, he hugged Clarissa in the previous chapter, which I believe he would **_**never **_**do in the manga or the anime, so I guess he already was out of character. But yeah, hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

**XxX**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 45<strong>

On our way back no one really said anything. We just entered the train and sat down, but this time, Ciel sat next to me instead of across from me.

I could see the strangely amused expression on Sebastian's face as I leaned against the window. It was as if what had happened just now had satisfied him. As if he felt like his prey had proven himself to be worthy once again.

I sighed after a while and closed my eyes while trying to sleep some more, since that seemed to be the only way to keep myself calm and to keep certain thought and memories out of my head. The only problem was that the window wasn't a good pillow. It was cold and hard.

Then, suddenly, my head was grabbed and pulled on Ciel's shoulder. As I opened my eyes and looked at him frowning, I saw that he was trying to act cool while also blushing like an idiot. 'You can rest your head on my should,' he said, clearly not as certain as he tried to sound. He cleared is throat. 'If you want to.'

I gave him a small little smile. 'Thanks,' I said, closing my eyes and resting my head against his small shoulder. 'You should put on some weight, Ciel,' I said with my eyes closed.

I didn't get a response, but since I hadn't expected one, I was okay with that.

I didn't fall asleep though. I had kind of expected that, since I'd never been able to sleep while on public transport, so this time was no exception. But seeming to be asleep did have some profit this time, because after a while, Ciel and Sebastian decided that I was asleep and began a conversation that I wasn't meant to hear.

'The reaper saved her,' Ciel said, not too loud so that he wouldn't wake me up. 'I never thought a figure like him would go that far.'

I could hear the smile on Sebastian's voice as he said: 'I quite agree with that, but I must say that I believe that she might be the only one of her kind. And quite possibly the first.'

'What does that mean?' Ciel asked. 'And of what kind is she, exactly?'

Sebastian waited a while before answering. 'I believe I've said this before, but at least she has some strength only an angel could have. But that's the strange this. An angel would be able to purify with her voice and touch, but unintentionally. She seems to be so powerful that she's able to purify even though she's not trying to do so. I've never seen that before in my life.'

Ciel waited while and I felt his body shift as he crossed his legs. 'And the DNA-tests didn't give you anything either?'

DNA-tests? What the hell? They could have _asked _me that, couldn't they?

'Not much except the obvious fact that her mother figure nor her father figure were her biological parents,' Sebastian answered. Then he sighed. 'It seems we will be arriving shortly. You better wake the young lady up.'

'Hmmm,' Ciel said and I could almost feel his eyes on my face. 'You could also carry her, you know.'

Yeah, no. That wasn't going to happen. I waited for a solid minute before opening my eyes as if I was waking up. 'Hmmm,' I said sleepy. 'Are we almost there?' I then asked while slowly sitting straight, rubbing my eyes.

'Indeed we are,' Ciel answered, looking at me and then looking away. 'You have an imprint in your cheek.'

I put my hand against my cheek and sighed. 'An imprint of your shoulder, I suppose.'

And even though Ciel wasn't looking at me, the fact that his ears turned pink was proof enough that Earl Ciel Phantomhive was blushing.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I managed to keep myself in check the remaining of the day. Then Ciel retired for the night and I went to my room as well, feeling tired but not as tired as I should feel. Not tired enough to fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow. I lay in the darkness of my room, staring at nothing trying to fall asleep.

And that was when it started.

I wasn't sure if I was asleep or not, but it didn't matter. I was trapped in my own mind and memories and other thoughts that I didn't want to hear or see appeared, trapping me into a place that was worse than any nightmare I'd ever had.

And in the middle of the blood and despair was that little boy. Ciel. I had to get to Ciel. But my hand reached out towards nothing, because Ciel already reached out of the demons hand. Too late. Always too late. In every sense of the word. Too. Late.

That didn't stop me from reaching my hand towards the child that I wanted to reach, a child that had grown up before I knew it. A child that seemed to be older in soul than in body and was so cold and warm at the same time that I wished I could just read his mind.

And then the boy looked at me and I saw the eyes. But one wasn't blue anymore. Blood dripped down his cheek as I saw the seal in his eye and I started to scream, trying to reach for him while the fire and blood tried to take me away from me.

But then I noticed that it wasn't the fire nor the blood. All the children from the cellar were holding onto me, pushing me down as they dragged me towards the end they all had to go through. And the only think that the children's hands hadn't dragged down was my hand, still reaching out for the light as the darkness took me away.

And then someone grabbed my hand and the remaining light was gone. It was dark now and I noticed I was back in my room, breathing as if I just ran a marathon. The hand that held mine was smaller than I'd expected and much, much gentler. As I looked at the person that was sitting on the side of my bed, I looked straight into one blue eye.

'Ciel?' I said and I cringed as I heard how awful my voice sounded.

Ciel blushed and released my hand. He put on the light on my nightstand and even though it was a weak and small light, the whole room was lighter now, and I could breathe easier. 'Don't imagine things,' Ciel then said, 'I just heard you scream and thought it was annoying, so I came to shut you up.'

I tried not to smile. I knew quite certain that I hadn't screamed out loud and I was also certain that he wouldn't have been able to hear me scream all the way from his room. And if what he was saying was true, then he would've send Sebastian. I was quite happy that he hadn't, though. I didn't want to know which tactics Sebastian would've used to shut me up.

'Go back to sleep, Clarissa,' Ciel said, almost unfriendly, 'you need all the rest you can get.'

I sighed, feeling a strange sort for fear. 'I don't want to close my eyes again,' I told him. 'Can't we used stay up all night and watch _Doctor Who _or something.'

'What?' Ciel asked, clearly having no idea what I was talking about.

That made me laugh, but it sounded forced and sad. 'You are a fifteen year old earl who owns a really big company that makes all sorts of stuff – but specialises in toys, yet you surprisingly know nothing about one of the most popular British television series of all time? Typical. Really. You should do some research.'

Ciel sighed, clearly not willing to talk about matters like this right now. Or probably ever. And especially not with me. 'Just go to sleep, Clarissa. I'll stay here until you're asleep,' he said. Then he added, a touch softer and gentler: 'It helps.'

It didn't take long for me to guess what he meant by that. 'Sebastian stays by your side whenever you have a nightmare?' I guessed.

He didn't answer. But the fact that he didn't was answer enough for me.

Then my brains started to work again and I worked more out. 'You were aware of the fact that I was going to get nightmares, or at least that the possibility was there. You were kind enough to come and check, yet you didn't send Sebastian. You are trying to keep Sebastian away from me, aren't you?' Okay, so maybe I was just saying this so he wouldn't force me to go to sleep, but I have to admit I was mildly curious about this. Ciel never seemed to have a problem with Sebastian being around me before. This was a strange change. Especially considering that Ciel always retired early and slept early, because his work always started early in the morning.

When Ciel didn't answer, I gave up. For course he would ignore me. Hell, he wasn't even looking at me.

But then he turned to me, his face wasn't red as I thought it would be when he said: 'It seems to me that Sebastian is harming you in a way that I cannot foresee, so I reasoned that I should just minimalize the situation in which you two are alone. This being one of those.' He talked so business-like and serious that it actually took a while for me to hear what he was saying. He didn't want Sebastian to harm me. That was like saying that he cared for me.

But then he put his cold mask back on and mumbled: 'Not like I care for you or anything, I just want to follow the Queen's orders.'

'Sure you are,' I said mockingly. 'I bet that was what you were thinking when you blew that whole—'

His hand covered my face and I noticed that, even though he was still dressed in his normal – well, depends on what you call 'normal' – clothes, he wasn't wearing his black gloves. But maybe he only wore those when he went outside. Yeah, that was probably it. 'Don't talk about such matters. It's bothersome,' Ciel told me before removing his hand, almost as if he'd burned himself.

Then I yawned and even though I tried to hide it, Ciel saw it.

'See?' he said. 'You're obviously tired. You should just go to sleep, Clarissa. I promise that no harm will come to you while sleeping.'

But I didn't want to close my eyes. Because I would be all alone in the dark if I closed them, whether Ciel was sitting next to me or not.

So I held my hand up, blushing more than I ever had in front of Ciel as he looked at me with question marks in his eye. 'Can you hold my hand… until I fall asleep? I won't feel alone that way,' I admitted, feeling ashamed.

I wasn't sure how he would react. Wasn't sure where Ciel drew his line. But then he grabbed my hand. I was happy that he didn't say anything about it, making this situation less embarrassing.

Ciel's hand was cold and felt so soft. How was it possible for skin to be this soft? Sebastian had soft skin, too, but it was different. This felt like a child's hand, while Sebastian's hand clearly was a man's hand. Or a demon's hand, but you know what I mean.

As I drifted off to sleep, I felt that I wanted to say something to Ciel, but I wasn't sure if I managed to make myself understandable. 'Ciel,' I murmured, so soft and sleepy that I wasn't even sure if I'd said it out loud or not. 'You should know… that… I was there… that day you made the contract. I… I was there.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When I woke up Ciel was gone. Of course he was gone. But I couldn't help but feel lonely when I saw that he hadn't stayed by myself. I kind of hated myself for it. Really, was I getting this selfish?

I went to my bathroom and showered for way too long, which made me think about the amount of money Ciel had to spend on me. I really was unconsidered. But it wasn't like I had any money, so I couldn't really pay him back. And I surely as hell wouldn't ask Ash for money. That guy was still really suspicious.

When I walked out of the bathroom wearing only a towel I was surprised to see Sebastian standing in my room.

Normally I would have screamed, or blushed or whatever. But I noticed that I didn't care. It wasn't like Sebastian wanted to see any of what was exposed right now. And it wasn't like that much was exposed anyway.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes when he noticed my lack of reaction. He didn't say anything about it though. 'I was just cleaning up your bedroom. Please, don't mind me.'

That made me throw my intentions to handle Sebastian professionally out of the window. I rolled my eyes. 'Oh, please. You _know _I can't do that. No offense, buddy, but you aren't a really subtle existence.' No, wait. That wasn't quite right. 'Not for in _my _world, anyhow. Asking me not to mind you is like asking a pilot not the mind his freaking airplane. Kind of impossible and above all, pretty damn stupid.'

Sebastian actually looked quite surprised that I said this. Which made me wonder how he thought if me. Did he think I was just an annoyance? Did he see me as one of those millions teenage girls? Or did he see me as a mere human and nothing more? He smiled as he opened the curtains and let the room bathe in natural light. 'Seeing as, in your comparison, you're the pilot and I'm the airplane… Does that mean that you can control me, if you get the right training?'

I sighed as I opened my closet, trying to find something to wear. 'Maybe. I don't know. I wish I could. It would make living here a lot less complicated if you was able to control you.'

Then Sebastian said the most ridiculous thing ever. 'Well, then why don't you just form a contract with me?'

I looked around and just stared and him. I couldn't believe he just said that. I turned back to my closet as I said: 'You must be really stupid or really dumb to think I would ever form a contract with you. What, was that your plan? To annoy the crap out of me so that I would make a contract with you, just to shut you up? That's just stupid, Seb.' I grabbed jeans and a blue hoodie and decided that that was sexy enough for today. It wasn't like I wanted to look pretty for anyone.

Sebastian didn't answer and I wasn't sure how I should interpreted that silence he created.

Then he was suddenly behind me, holding my towel on its place with his hands as he whispered in my ear: 'You may think it's stupid, but know that until a contract between us is formed, you will never be the pilot.' His hands tightened around me. 'And as long as you're not the pilot, you cannot tell me when our last kiss will be. That for _me _so decide.'

Then he was gone.

And then I realised that Ciel had said that he wanted to prevent situations like this. _Great job, Ciel, _I thought sarcastically. _Great job._

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

One of the many benefits of Ciel's new plan to keep me away from Sebastian as much as possible was that he actually took me to his meetings. I was allowed to sit in the corning of the room. I had decided to listen to what they were saying, but I quickly discovered that that was more boring than school, so I played games on my phone until Ciel announced that the meeting was over.

As everyone left the room except Ciel, I decided to remain seated until Ciel would tell me to stand. Which he didn't. But I decided to not look up to him, trying to avoid embarrassing or awkward moments.

'We're going home,' Ciel then announced and I looked up to see him standing above me, finally quite a bit longer then I was. Even though Ciel was still growing, he was still the same height as me. And I wasn't going to lie, because of that, he looked really young.

I put my phone away and shot out of my chair, not thinking about the fact that Ciel was still standing pretty close to my chair. Our faced were way too close that moment and our noses almost touched each other.

Lucky enough Ciel pulled away before that situation could get more awkward, but I felt myself blush and knew even without looking that Ciel was blushing too.

'Let's go home,' Ciel said after clearing his throat, letting his assistant – a blond boy with a skull-shirt on, not really fitted for work – carry his bag for him after his assistant handed him his walking stick.

'I'm glad to see you at least use your walking stick now,' I told Ciel as we walked through the big corridors towards the elevator. 'You should take care of yourself. Eat more vegetables. Eat more in general.'

'You're not my mother,' Ciel said, clearly more annoyed than normally.

'No, I'm not,' I admitted, 'but I am your friend and as I friend, I am going to worry about you. Do you think that's strange?'

'Friend…' he repeated, but it didn't have that slight tone of disgust in it as his voice usually had when he said that word.

'Yes, friend,' I said mockingly. 'You know, people you like to hang out with and talk to… without paying them.' I added as I thought about Sebastian and Ciel's relationship. I wished someone would write a book about that. Their relationship must be pretty complicated. I wish I'd understand, but I really didn't. Did Sebastian care about Ciel or did he rather enjoy his master's pain? Did Ciel care about Sebastian or did he hate that demon with all his might? I didn't know. I didn't know anything. Not about Ciel, not about Sebastian. Not about anyone.

'Ciel… can you tell me something about yourself?' I asked him while we stepped inside an elevator that went down.

Ciel looked really surprised. Well, I guess my question did come from out of nowhere. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, you know all about my family and my likes and dislikes'—at least, it thought so, since I always spoke so much—'but I know almost nothing about you. So, tell me something about yourself.'

Ciel wasn't sure what I'd meant and that was quite clear. I was happy though that he at least answered me. 'Well, I had a dog when I was young,' he told me, surprising me. 'He was called Sebastian. He's the reason I named Sebastian 'Sebastian'.'

Somehow I managed to understand what he was saying, even though the big amount of 'Sebastian' in his words made it kind of confusing. 'So Sebastian is named after a dog?' I asked as the door of the elevator opened.

'Yes, he is,' Ciel answered as we walked through the gigantic entrance hall of the massive building, to the exit where Sebastian was waiting for us with a car.

I laughed a small laugh. 'If only you had told me that sooner. So many jokes I could've made.' But now I wasn't going to. I wasn't going to give Sebastian another reason to show how serious he'd meant his word from this morning.

As I stepped inside the limousine, his words rang in my head. _You may think it's stupid, but know that until a contract between us is formed, you will never be the pilot. And as long as you're not the pilot, you cannot tell me when our last kiss will be. That for me so decide._

Yeah, I have to admit, Sebastian. You are kind of right. Because I knew myself well enough to know that I wouldn't be able to resist him if he kissed me. Not only because he was Sebastian, the great and perfect demon butler who could seduce anyway. But also because I loved the mystery around him, loved his demonic side, loved the fact that his way of thinking seemed to be completely different than that of everyone else. I loved how he could smile sincere in those rare moments. I loved how he – sometimes – looked at his master with sincere worry. I loved how he held me, as if his arms were made to hold me and how he kissed me, as if I was the only one he was meant to kiss…

'Are you okay, Clarissa?' Ciel then asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. 'You seem to be somewhere else with your mind.'

I blushed. 'I-I'm fine,' I told him. 'I was just… daydreaming…' But then I looked at the mirror in front of the limousine and saw that Sebastian was looking at me. And the way he looked told me that he'd guessed what I'd been thinking about.

I looked out of the window, avoiding Ciel and Sebastian's eyes as I tried to pretend that this whole thing never happened. Tried to pretend as if I hadn't just admitted _again_ that I honest to god really loved that sadistic, demonic idiot.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**End of the chapter! This one was a bit short, my apologies, but filler chapters are short. I can't do anything about that. I will probably update tomorrow as well, since I have nothing better to do. Except homework, but to hell with homework XD**

**trepidon: yeah, you probably read this replies a bit too late, but I'm just saying thanks! **

**Lady Mary Michaelis: thanks! And I won't say anything about whether you're wrong or right just yet (because spoilers), but whether it's the right guess or not, it's a good guess.**

**Guest: Aww, thanks! No matter how many times I hear that people like to read my story, I can never get enough of it! Mostly because I'm not confident at all, but also because it's my first fanfiction, so thanks for the support!**

**Aizawa Maiko: yeah, I like the Ciel and Clarissa bond, too! I sometimes wish Sebastian wasn't there just so those two could just have adventures on their own XD That would be a completely different show all together, though. But I would still watch it.**

**SilverMoonFairie: yeah, as Sebastian said this chapter: he gets to say when their last kiss will be. And I don't think that was their last one XD And even though I won't confirm whether you're right or not about what she is… I will say that she, indeed, she has a connection with reapers and angels.**

**promocat: which is kind of understandable. I mean, she is the first girl who isn't his childhood friend who talks to him and cares for him, so yeah, that might be kind of the case indeed.**


	46. Chapter 46

**Because I'm bored. And I'm not sure if I hate Ash yet. I probably do hate him. But maybe not. Because I like mad characters.**

**And I will probably stop writing after chapter 50 is online, because I want to take time to get rid of all those horrible typos (sorry again for the typos in this chapter)!**

**I also keep making the same mistake. I often type Ciel's eyes and not is **_**eye**_**. Sometimes I notice it and correct it, but sometimes I don't see it and I hate myself. So yeah, again, so sorry about that.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own my OC. Rather had it the other way around, but yeah, that's not the case (sorry Clarissa… don't hate me!).**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 46**

'Hey, you!' I said as ran towards the demon at the end of the hallway. 'Wait up!'

He frowned as I approached him. 'Aren't you supposed to lay in bed, miss Lane?' he asked, slightly annoyed.

'Yes,' I told him. 'But I woke up and wasn't tired anymore. Maybe I'm becoming a demon too,' I said mockingly, giving him a punch in the shoulder.

Sebastian didn't find that quite as amusing as I did. 'I have to say I'm quite surprised that you came to look me up in this early morning. I thought you were avoiding me.'

'Yeah,' I admitted, telling him he was indeed correct again. 'I _am _avoiding you. But now I'm bored and I know you're the only one who's awake at this time.'

Sebastian still didn't get it. 'You could just go to the library and grab a book,' he said, not as unfriendly as he clearly wanted to be. 'Or play games on that phone of yours.'

'Yeah. How about 'no',' I said as I hooked my arm in his and walked next to him as we walked towards god knows where. 'Can't you just tell me a story? You must have tons of stories. You're probably older than any book in Ciel's library.'

'Well, I'm not quite sure about that,' Sebastian told me, finally giving in and smiling a little smile. 'And I'm not a very good storyteller.'

'Nonsense,' I immediately said. 'You're good in everything. You're not supposed to lie, Sebastian. Careful, or I'll tell Ciel!' Then I realised that we'd been walking towards the library, because Sebastian opened the door and let me into the big library, which still looked like the library from _Beauty and the Beast._ Which was ironic, considering that we already had our Beast. Not only our Beauty. I didn't think Ciel was up for that role, though.

Sebastian grabbed my upper arms and put me in the chair near the fireplace and I thought he would leave just like that, but then he put on the fire and sat down on the couch, clearly relaxing more than usual now that his master was asleep. 'So… what kind of story do you want to hear?'

Well, it wasn't actually a story I wanted to hear. 'Well, you told me that Sebastian was the name Ciel gave to you. Does that mean that you don't have a real name?'

Sebastian sighed. 'Everyone gets a name. Some decide to hold onto it. I don't share the opinion of those who believe their names are important. My name has never been important for me and I have long forgotten the first name I ever had.'

I stared at him fascinated, happy that he was telling me this so easily. '_That _old, huh?' I said, knowing that that wasn't the first time I said that.

A small smile played on Sebastian lips, but he didn't give any reaction. This was the first time that he didn't seem to be bothered with me addressing his age. 'Was that the story you wanted to hear?' he asked. 'That wasn't a very hard story.'

'The reapers,' I said quickly, not wanting this open conversation to end. 'They told me about the Cinematic Record. Does such a thing only apply to humans, or to everyone?'

'Everyone with a past has a Cinematic Record,' was his short yet useful answer.

Now that he said it, that was actually quite logical. 'Even you?' I asked. 'That must be way too long for a reaper to watch.'

Sebastian shook his head. 'The time in with a Cinematic Record plays is different than time here. Only seconds can pass here and millions of years could have passed in the Cinematic Record.'

Ah. How complicated. And useless. Maybe I should ask more useful questions. 'Have you made contracts like your contract with Ciel before?'

'Of course,' Sebastian said. 'I'm a worthy demon. I won't take souls without a contract. That's below my status. Only weak and stupid demons would do such a thing. So yes, in order to live, I have made countless contracts in the past.'

'And what made Ciel so attractive?' I asked. 'As a meal, I mean,' I added when I realised that my words could have been interpreted another way.

Sebastian didn't answer for quite some time. He looked at the fire, clearly not sure how to explain. Not sure if he even _should _explain. 'Are you familiar with the seven sins, miss Lane?' he then asked me.

I rolled my eyes. 'Yes, of course I am. What about them?'

Sebastian still refused to look at me, staring into the flames as he said: 'Superbia. Avaritia. Invidia. Ira. All of those are hidden somewhere in my master's soul. The sins is what attracts a demon to his prey.'

I didn't react, trying to think what those words meant. Superbia was… arrogance or pride or something. And Avaritia… was that selfishness? I wasn't sure what Invidia was, but I was quite sure Ira was anger. Or revenge. Or something. 'But those are only four of the sins. You would think that there are humans out there who have all seven.'

Sebastian shook his head. 'Some sins exclude another. For example, you can't be lazy when you have a flaming desire for revenge and you can't be greedy when you spend everything you have. The seven sins don't necessarily tell you how bad a person is. My master is a perfect example of that. He's selfish, arrogant and has a lot of boiled up anger, but he still shows kindness to those the thinks deserve his kindness.'

'But you think every human is bad, don't you?' I asked him.

'Yes, I do,' he told me, almost too quickly. 'But that doesn't mean that the human race cannot surprise or amuse me from time to time.'

'Hmm,' I said, thinking about his words. 'I wonder how many sins I have…'

Sebastian laughed softly, making my heart melt. 'Well, you've certainly got Acedia down pretty well,' he told me, an amused smile on his face.

I wasn't sure what 'Acedia' meant though… Hmm… Let me think… 'Hey! Are you calling me a sloth?!' I asked, finally getting the word.

'Maybe,' he answered. 'Who knows.'

I sighed. 'You really are not nice at all,' I said, pointing out the obvious.

'And you're far more interesting than you give yourself credit for,' he said, surprisingly complimenting me.

Then a shadow fell over me and I looked up, only to see that Sebastian was hovering over me, having a strange look in his eyes. 'Form a contract with me,' he said, almost as if it was an order.

'You won't get my soul,' was my immediate response.

'Maybe I don't want your soul,' he shot back, still standing over me like that. 'Maybe I want something else.'

'Oh?' I asked, pulling one eyebrow up as I tried to speak with a little more sass. 'And what is it you want, then?'

His eyes begin to glow and I saw that his eyes looked more like the eyes of a cat now, but way more frightening. 'You,' was his answer and I believed my heart stopped.

Unfortunately enough, it only began to beat faster. Great. I was sure Sebastian could hear that, with those supersonic ears. 'Well, you won't get _me _either,' I said after a while, trying to focus on his eyes while my eyes kept going to his mouth. I felt the desire in my stomach and felt my hands shake as they wanted to touch him so badly. Why was he such a skilled seducer? That made this whole thing so much more complicated.

He took one of my hair strands into his hand and started to play with it as he said: 'Oh, really now?' He brought the hair to his mouth and kissed it like it was the most precious thing he had ever seen. 'I'm not so sure about that.'

'Huh?' I said, half-forgotten everything we'd been saying for the past few seconds. I was too busy trying to keep myself under control, but even my mind wanted to kiss him and I was starting to lose the fight.

'Of course I cannot make a contract with you as long as Ciel is still alive,' he went on, tangling one hand in my hair as he pulls me up that way, making me stands so close to him that I could feel almost every inch of his body against mine. 'But we can make an arrangement. Let it start now, but make it official after Ciel's death. Which won't be long now.' He attacked my neck as his other hand found my hip and his thumb found the bare skin between my pyjama pants and my shirt. I shivered as I felt his thumb on my skin, cursing the gloves he was wearing. Because my whole body wanted to feel the magic of the touch of his fingers, without the gloves. Not that I was ever going to tell him that. 'Or I could just kill you now and let bygones be bygones.'

I was finding difficulty with standing, so I held on to his holder, refusing to touch him anywhere else.

Then I heard a sound that I had never heard before. Or at least, not from him. A soft, low sound that I almost didn't recognize.

Sebastian was purring.

And no matter how cute it may have been in a different situation, right now it was creepy. But I still couldn't pull him off me. I did manage to find a way to talk, though. 'The reapers would kill you if you did such a thing.'

'Hmmm, are you challenging me?' he asked, his teeth touch my neck as he tried to be threatening. 'Because I wouldn't do that if I were you.'

'Sebastian listen,' I said, but his hand slit under my shirt and touched the lower part of my back and I forgot what I wanted to say.

'Hmmm?' he then said, pulling his face up to look at me only for a moment before attacking my neck again, this time trailing down to my shoulder, stopping at the place where my shirt started.

'I-I d-do… believe I… h-have told you that I… did… didn't want to do… t-this anymore,' I said, putting my nails into his uniform now to keep me from doing anything stupid.

He pulled his face up and I was actually fascinated by how his face looked. It didn't look human at all. 'And I've told you that _I _decide when whether we're doing things like this or not.' And then he pulled my face towards his with that hand that was still tangled up in my hair and kissed me, but it was different this time.

He wasn't trying to seduce me, he wasn't being the passionate and skilled demon that he always was. He kissed me to prove a point, to show me that he wouldn't leave my side, but not in a good way. He did it to prove that _I _needed him. The only thing I had to do was kiss him back. He didn't use as much force as he used to use anymore and his hands didn't move. He just held me against him, showing me how his body felt against mine.

And then I started to realise how much power I had in my hands now. If I were to kiss him back with the passion my body wanted to give him, I would lose. I would be the weakest one in the room (not that I wasn't already, but still). So I took my hands of his shoulder and became as passive as I could, holding still until Sebastian pulled back.

The look on his face made every move I'd just made worth it. He looked like he didn't understand me anymore, like he doubted everything. And of course he would. The trick that had always worked on me hadn't worked this time.

'Please remember that activities like this come from both sides, _Sebastian_,' I said, before pushing him away so that I could walk out of the library with my head held high, hoping that he hadn't seen how red my face was.

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><p>XxX<p>

I wasn't able to sleep anymore after that, not because I was scared or anything, but simply because I wasn't tired. So I played on my phone until morning and went to the kitchen, almost sure that Ciel or Sebastian or at least Mei-Rin or Bard should be there around now.

'Why is the Queen's butler drinking tea in my mansion?' Ciel asked as I entered the kitchen and saw that Ash was standing there with a tea cup in his hand. When he saw me, a bright smile appeared on his face. As if he liked what he saw.

Sebastian decided to ask Ash the same question Ciel had asked, but in a nicer way. 'Might I ask what has brought you to this mansion today?'

Ash didn't look at Ciel or Sebastian. He kept looking at me and now his expression was beginning to creep me out. Then, the memories came back and I started to shake, but Ciel noticed before it became too bad. He put a hand on my shoulder and gave me strength to keep myself in check.

'Ah,' Ash said slowly. 'Yes. I have a short message from Her Majesty' He waited a while before he continued. 'Outside of Preston there's a Catholic abbey that was been burned down a few times during several incidents and is no longer in use. A cult espousing deviant doctrines is gathering there.' This sounded more like a history lesson than a messages from the Queen, but since I wasn't really part of the 'Queen's Guard Dog-'team yet, I kept my mouth shut.

'We have heard that its leader has the Doomsday Books of all followers,' Ash went on.

Ciel crossed his arms, but didn't say a thing.

So I was the one who had to say something, even though I really didn't want to talk to Ash. Especially now that I knew that he _really _wasn't a good guy at all. 'W-what are… Doomsday Books?' I managed to get out.

'They are registers required when you stand before the Lord in heaven on Doomsday… the Day of Judgement. All your sins and good works are supposedly recorded there,' Ash explained. Geez, that sounded like an occult that Sebastian should be in.

Ciel sighed. 'An occult again?' Then he gave me a quick glance, to see if I was okay.

Ash went on talking. 'There are rumours that they plan to revolt against the government.'

Well, they sure as hell wouldn't be the first to do so. But I didn't think a catholic occult was our biggest concern at the moment.

'Her Majesty laments that the people of Preston are quaking in fear of these heretics,' Ash said, with much more passion than needed.

Ciel also didn't seem to like the amount of passion Ash was putting into this 'short message from her Majesty'. 'And?' he said. 'Are you telling me to disperse them, or to eradicate them?'

Then, suddenly, the kind smile on Ash's face was gone and a wicked expression came on his face. His voice became cold and frightening as he said: 'We leave that decision to you.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'Well… what now?' Ciel asked. We were sitting in the dining room, having breakfast (which in Ciel's case was cake).

'According to Ash, the abbey is heavily guarded,' Sebastian told Ciel as he just stood there besides the table like an idiot. He always did that. I had guessed it was a butler-thing and it hadn't really bothered me before, but for some reason, it really irritated me right now.

'So it would be difficult to go in through the front door,' Ciel reasoned, bringing the teacup to his lips, but not actually drinking.

'Incidentally, he also mention that a large number of coffins have been delivered there the passed few days,' Sebastian mentioned.

That made Ciel put his teacup back, without having drunk any tea. 'Coffins?' he repeated, deep in thought.

Then I got the clue. Oh boy. We were going to visit _him _again.

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><p>XxX<p>

'I'm coming in!' Ciel announced as he entered the store, of which Sebastian was holding the door open.

As I tried to walk in after Ciel, Sebastian gave me a little smile and shut the door in front of my face, only to irritate me. I opened the door and walked inside, only to see Ciel looking at e frowning.

His attention was pulled away from me, though, as a familiar voice said: 'Welcome.'

'I have a favour to ask, Undertaker,' Ciel said, immediately getting to the point. Which kind of was his style, really.

'On that case,' the Undertaker said, slowly turning around. Then I saw the glasses the man was wearing and my expression froze. Oh dear God.

'Give me prime romance!' Grell – dressed as the Undertaker – screamed while running towards Sebastian with his eyes stretched out, as if he was expecting a hug.

Sebastian took a step away as Grell approached, resulting in Grell slamming his head against the wall.

'Grell?!' Ciel said, surprised. Really, he was a bit slow.

'Hello, my Lord,' someone else said from another place. Was it… from the big urn of salt?

Indeed, the Undertaker was sitting in giant urn filled with white stuff that I could only address as 'salt'. Or sugar. But it was most probably salt. Why the hell did Undertaker have an urn full of salt in his shop?

Grell walked up to us and put his arm on my shoulder, leaning on me while he said: 'The bounder told me he wasn't afraid of grim reapers, so I buried him in salt.'

Well, that explained it.

The Undertaker just smiled his usual, creepy smile. 'Oh, I just love the sensation of all the moisture in my body leeching out of my skin!'

Of course you do, buddy.

Ciel sighed and turned to Grell, we was still leaning on me. But I was too scared to push him away. I mean, he _did _have a pair of scissors. Very, very frightening. No, the real reason I didn't push him away because right now, he wasn't trying to do anything to Sebastian. And I liked him better like that.

'What are you doing here?!' Ciel asked Grell.

Grell shrugged before leaning on me again. 'Will's having me do a bit of investigating. But there was just no information, and I got hungry and sleepy… so I took a nap in a flowerbed, and woke up to find myself here.' Then he stopped leaning against me and straightened himself, only to act all girly again. Not that I had anything against that, as long as he didn't force himself on Sebastian or talked about how hot Sebastian was, I was totally cool with it. Then it hit me. Are you fucking kidding me?

I was jealous. Jealous at a girly reaper-guy who was clearly detested by Sebastian.

'Perhaps I shouldn't have stopped breathing while I slept?' Grell wondered before turning to Sebastian and doing the exact thing I didn't want him to do. 'I was waiting for a prince to come wake me with a kiss!'

Sebastian ignored everything except the first words Grell had said. 'What are – or were – you investigating?' he asked.

'Oh, we've had some Cinematic Records stolen lately,' Grell explained. Ah. It was great to finally hear I word that I _did _know the meaning of.

And even greater: Ciel didn't seem to know what it was. 'Cinematic Records?' he repeated.

'Not something a kid needs to know about,' Grell said arrogantly.

Pfft. What nonsense. 'They're reels of film containing all memories of a person's life,' I explained, making everyone in the room look at me surprised.

Sebastian decided to add some more information. 'Grim reapers extract them from those on the To-Die list, replay them, and decide whether they will live or die.'

And even though Grell had just said that he wouldn't explain it, he added some information too. 'Just so we're clear, you humans can only see them when you die.'

I froze. Right then and there. _You humans can only see them when you die._ I had seen the children's Cinematic Records back at Lord Kelvin's house. And William had saved me. So I really wasn't human. Even though I knew that already, this kind of prove still managed to have an effect on me.

Sebastian looked at me for about three seconds with an unreadable expression before turning back to Grell. 'Are Records the sort of things that can be "stolen"?' he asked. Huh. Kind of a strange question to ask. What, was he planning on stealing Cinematic Records or something?

'Mmm,' Grell said, thinking about his answer before saying: 'They're stored in the library when we're not using them. The full pasts of all people now living— in other words, of everyone on the To-Die list: all the crimes, everything… in the form of books.'

Huh. Sounded like a great place for a demon to find his new prey,

'So they're books made in preparation for Doomsday,' Ciel said and I finally got the connection too. Damn it! I wanted to be the first one to see the connection!

'That rings a bell, doesn't it?' Sebastian said, a bit unnecessary, but since he looked sexy while saying it, I forgave him.

Ciel turned back to the Undertaker now. 'Undertaker, there's something I want your help with.'

Undertaker chuckled, but him being covered in salt made it a lot less creepier somehow. 'Then give me prime laughter…' He looked over at Grell and whatever he was seeing there, it seemed to change his mind. He looked back to Ciel with a more forced smile now. 'On second thought, I'll do this one free of charge.'

I didn't quite understand yet though. 'Wait… what are we supposed to do?'

Ciel looked at me with one eyebrow pulled up. 'You're not coming with us, Clarissa,' he said, as if that was obvious.

I rolled my eyes. 'Ciel, we went over this alre—'

'The girl will stay by your side,' Undertaker said and there was something in his voice that made it sound rather threatening.

Ciel looked back at Undertaker and stared for quite a while before sighing and crossing his arms. 'Fine, then. But only because you were of good use the previous time. Don't start to feel special over it, got it?'

I smiled happily. 'Yessir!'

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><p>XxX<p>

**So the filler bits are done for now. More story! Yay… I guess. I like fillers, because they give me a lot more freedom. And I actually really do not want Sebastian to sleep with that nun, but I haven't found another way yet. Hmm. I should brainstorm on that.**

**And for the seven sins… I have an obsession with those, though I had a hard time finding the right English words for them. Because for me, it's the Dutch ones. So if that failed horribly, sorry about that.**

**And for everyone who knows the ending of season one (probably all of you), I know Pluto isn't in my story, but believe me, I will make it work ;)**

**promocat: well, that question that answered this chapter! Heheh. Or not exactly.**


	47. Chapter 47

**Hey hey, haven't updated for a while, well, I have, but I'm updating now. So…yay!**

**I have so much trouble writing! Every chapter gets harder! It's quite frustrating, I must say.**

**Anyhow, enjoy chapter 47 everyone! And remember that I still don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 47**

I was sitting next to Undertaker, who was driving his hearse. Ciel refused to sit next to him and I refused to sit anywhere near Grell – especially when Sebastian was in the same room – so I sat next to the Undertaker. I have to admit, I was quite surprised that weirdo could drive. And that he could see anything with all that hair in his face.

'Thank you, by the way,' I said after a while.

'For what, exactly?' he asked.

I sighed. 'Well, you made sure that Ciel took me with him. Again. And I know that's probably because I'm special and what not, but I appreciate it.'

'Oh, no,' Undertaker said. 'I just figured that you wanted to come along, so I just said something to the earl. Never thought he would listen.' He chuckled.

I looked at him surprised. Huh. First strange creature that didn't seem to think that I was some sort of Frankenstein. Or Jesus. Then I noticed that the car had stopped and as I looked through the front window, I saw some sort of castle wall. It looked like it belonged to a building that wasn't there anymore. It was just a wall. With an entrance. 'What... did we arrive at the location?' I asked, still not quite sure where or what 'the location' was.

The only answer I got was another of Undertaker's creepy laughs. Then he rolled his window down and I saw a strangely dressed woman. She kind of looked like a nun, but her uniform was dark blue with red. Strange. I thought one of the things about nuns was that colour – fashion – didn't matter. That was why they usually wore black and white, right?

'I've come to deliver the coffin you ordered,' Undertaker said and I wasn't sure if the nun would trust the man if he spoke like that.

'Coffin, sir?' the nun said, clearly not trusting the man. 'No one informed me of this…'

Undertaker bit on his lower lip to hide his smile and he made a movement with his arm, directing me to make sure that I wasn't seen, so I leaned forward, making the nun unable to see me even if she stared directly into the window, which she did not. Then he started to look for something in the car, without exactly looking for anything. 'I have the order right here… Hmm… where did I put it?... Here? No… Here?' That was the moment that he started to look nervous as he threw a few things out of the window while looking. One of those was a bible.

I rolled my eyes. Geez. Subtlety.

The nun saw it and fell for it, though. 'All right… Please come in, then.' I couldn't see it, but I knew she was talking to me when she said: 'And you can come too, if you want.'

I sat up and looked her into the eyes. 'Are you serious?' I asked, but the moment I saw her face I froze. Perfect white skin. Purple eyes. She could've been Ash's sister for all I knew.

Undertaker chuckled as he said: 'I have a few more guests in the back.'

The nun smiled kindly. 'Ah, well, they are welcome, too.'

Sebastian apparently heard that, because Grell, Ciel and himself got out only seconds later. So I got out of the car too.

The Undertaker laughed once more. 'Then I'll be off. Since I've done what I came for.'

'I understand,' the nun said, nodding. I gave Sebastian a look, trying to communicate with him that that nun was suspicious, but he just smiled a little devious smile. 'May your soul be cleansed.'

I believe me and Ciel both cringed as we heard that.

We carried the coffin on a lifting trolley and followed the nun passed the gate. There was woods and a path and at the end something that looked like a church. Or a convent. Or both. It was quite big.

'Hey,' Ciel hissed softly, so that the nun wouldn't hear. 'I thought it was supposed to be difficult to get in here.' It clearly wasn't a question for me, even though he looked at me while asking the question. Well, I _was _the one that walked next to him. Sebastian and Grell walked behind us. I was actually impressed at how well Grell was behaving himself.

'Yes,' Sebastian answered, forcing himself between me and Ciel so he could talk to his young master, 'I was under that impression…'

We saw two nuns and a monk leaving the church/convent/thing, carrying things on their shoulders. They greeted us with a smile and a small bow. They looked really friendly. But looks had deceived me before.

'Perfect smiles,' Ciel said and he sounded almost disgusted.

Sebastian put on the perfect smile that Ciel seemed to detest so much. 'Shouldn't that be educational for you, young master, since you've forgotten how to smile?' he asked teasingly.

I gave him a glare, but he wasn't looking at me.

'Don't be dull,' Ciel ordered. 'Those smiles are fake.'

Ah. So I was right. Their looks had deceived me again.

We entered the building in what seemed to be the church-part. It wasn't really that impressive, but the windows were pretty. You could hear every step echo through the church and it made me shiver. This didn't feel right.

Then Ciel suddenly froze and I followed his gaze, only to freeze as well when I saw it. One of the windows had the same symbol as the scar me and Ciel both had. Even though we'd seen it, Sebastian hadn't caught on yet. Or maybe he was just bullying us. I wasn't sure. But he stood between me and Ciel and leaned in, so that his mouth was just above Ciel's ear. 'Young master?' he asked.

Then children laughter filled the church. From the back of the church came three little boys in even stranger outfits. It looked kind of cold and kind of stupid. 'Good evening!' they said politely, running towards us. Strange. I thought running in church wasn't allowed. This really didn't seem like a catholic organisation.

'Another wonderful day today, wasn't it?' one of the boys asked.

Grell put one of his hands on his hip and looked at the boys with a look that I couldn't trust. 'Well, aren't you cute? I don't really like kids, though.'

Well, he shouldn't have said that, because now he had the boys' attention. They ran towards him and one of them, the one with the Harry Potter-glasses, said: 'Hello, unclean one! You're impure through and through, I see.'

'What?' Grell said, insulted. His voice sounded a bit strange because of the huge amount of drama in his voice.

'Hmm?' another boy said. 'What's the matter, unclean one? Are you ill?'

Grell smacked the boy on his head, making me sigh. Geez, that guy… 'You little brat! Who are you calling "unclean"?!'

Then the boy started to scream. 'Woah! An unclean one touched me!'

'You need to be cleansed!' the other two screamed while running off to where they came from.

Grell reached out his arms, almost as if he was ready to kill the boys. 'Get back here!'

Another nun walked out of the door where the children had fled to. She had beautiful eyes and brown hair, but something about her seemed off. She giggled warmly, almost like a mother. 'Everyone over a certain age is called "unclean",' she explained, mashing up my thoughts about what 'unclean' meant. Then she looked over at me, Ciel and Sebastian. 'I see from your clothing that you're new. Don't worry. If you study the teachings of our leader, your body will be cleansed.'

'I say!' Ciel said, clearly still upset about the fact that the symbol he knew so well was there, in the window. 'Is this place—'

Sebastian stopped his young master from continuing from whatever he was going to say. 'Unclean?' he repeated. 'A funny thing to say.' He started to walk over to the nun and the tone in his voice changed. I knew that tone all too well. _Oh no. Please. Not in front of my eyes…_

'I can't believe a beautiful lady like yourself is impure,' he said, slowly coming closer and closer. And farther and farther away from me.

He reached the nun and she pressed her back against the door as he walked even closer and even from all the way here I could she her blush. _Please stop, please stop, please stop…_

'I don't know anything about your sect yet. Would you mind telling me?' Sebastian said, slowly tilting his head to the side. Even though I couldn't see his face, I _knew _what kind of face he was making. I knew everything. He had seduced me so many times, had showed me his different expressions. Even if he tried to be a secret for everyone, I knew at least a little bit of him. And even though I liked to think that I was the only one, I knew I wasn't.

'All right,' the nun said almost immediately, clearly not as pure as a nun should be. Geez, she was basically throwing herself at him. 'But then why did you come here?'

Sebastian smacked his hand against the door, right next to the nun's head and she squealed a scared sound. Sebastian brought his face closer to hers and I knew he did that so that she would smell her breath, that smelled sweet and soft and tempting… 'A bug,' he said softly, the act started to change in something that I hadn't seen before. He wasn't just teasing this nun like he was teasing me. He wanted a result. And he would get it. He straightened himself again, blowing the 'bug' away. 'You'll tell me, won't you?'

As she started to breathe strange, Sebastian reached towards her with his hands.

And then I stood next to them, grabbing his wrist and holding it still. I wasn't sure if he was trying or not, but it was surprisingly easily to stop his hand from moving. He looked at me with a strange look on his face, but he didn't look surprised.

I managed to put on a smile and turned towards the maid, making my voice as sweet and tempting as I could, trying to get the same effect I seemed to have on people when I sang. 'I'm sorry, but I believe we all have questions.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'The Doomsday Books of those who have lived a long time are impure. Our leader cleanses the unclean passages,' the nun explained. We were sitting in a shed just outside the church and it smelled awful in here. But I didn't complain, though. I was still quite proud that I managed to prevent Sebastian from sleeping with some lady he barely knew. Again. 'And we're told that not only the past, but the future is recorded there.'

'The future, eh?' Sebastian said, sounding cold now that he got what he wanted.

'Yes,' the nun said, nodding. 'But the only ones who are allowed to hear it are the chosen children of the heavenly choir.'

Ciel crossed his arms. 'The heavenly choir?' he repeated, sounding cynical. 'What, do they sing hymns?'

The nun closed her eyes and smiled a kind smile. 'I believe "sing" may not be the right word… But I hear beautiful voiced from our leader's bedchamber… It's always a girl's voice, though. And only young boys are allowed in the heavenly choir. If girls were also allowed, the choir wouldn't be clean anymore.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

We moved to another part of the building, the convent part. You had a hallway which had a lot of windows without glass, making it feel like you were outside. Smelling the night made me relax a bit, but I still felt like punching someone.

'If only young boys are chosen for the heavenly choir, that means you are the only one who can get close to their leader,' Sebastian reasoned, completely ignoring me as he had been for several minutes.

'Rubbish!' Grell said, drawing the attention to him. He was wearing the same uniform as those boys back in the church had been wearing but it was also clearly the same size. Which looked horrible. 'I could easily get into the heavenly choir!' I could hear Ciel make a disgusted sound. 'Well? How do I look?' Grell asked, posing.

Then I heard a child cry and I noticed a child standing behind Grell. 'Wah! You'll make me impure!' he cried and I sighed walking over to the child, who was only wearing underpants. I lifted the boy and wiped his tears away. 'Now, now,' I said, trying to comfort him. 'Did that mean unclean man do something nasty to you?' The boy nodded and I shook my head. 'Aw, how awful. Here, I shall bring you to someone who can help you. But I need your help okay?'

The boy nodded again. I was actually pretty impressed by the fact that he let me touch him. I had thought he would have called me unclean as well.

'You need to guide me. Can you do that?' I asked him sweetly.

He nodded again.

I gave him another little smile. 'You're not scared of me touching you? You don't think I'm unclean?'

The boy shook his head and it was so cute that my heart almost melted.

Or it did. I wasn't sure. I guess my heart had already given up after all those Sebastian-attacks. 'Okay then. Where do I need to go?'

Then it became silent and a voice seeped through the night and it had something awfully creepy. The strangest thing was that it sounded almost familiar.

'Oh!' the boy said. 'It's time for our leader's cleansing ceremony!' He sounded like it was Christmas.

'Cleansing?' Grell said, clearly not buying that crap.

I stood there frozen, listening to the voices as I tried to think. Why did they sound so familiar?

'I sounds familiar,' Sebastian said, looking at me. Then he narrowed his eyes. 'Way too familiar.'

'What is it?' Ciel said, frowning.

Sebastian kept looking at me with narrowed eyes. 'Oh, I just smelled a rotten apple fallen from a tree, that's all.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

We walked towards the church-part of the building and sat down in the back of the place, watching as the voices sang, but no singer was seen. I sat next to Ciel, next to him sat Sebastian and next to Sebastian said Grell, who was holding onto Sebastian arm like it was his to take.

Then someone only dressed in white and red, his face hidden away with his hood, walked up to the stage (I guessed it had some sort of church-name as well, but I didn't know that). 'Here, tonight, the sinful unclean shall be made pure,' he said and his voice was familiar _as well._

They brought two other people on to the stage and stripped them naked. Both of them had a giant mark on their backs and I hoped that Ciel's wasn't as big, because it looked quite unsettling. The two humans, a man and a woman, sat down on the ground, kneeling down for the leader as another man, a monk, it would seem, brought two books to the man in white and red.

'Are those Cinematic Records?' Sebastian asked.

'Too far away to tell,' Grell said, resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder, making me bit my lip and clench my hands into fists.

Ciel noticed it, because he gave me a frowning look. My answer to his glare as a shrug and then he surprised me by taking one on my fists and relaxing it, holding my hand as if he needed the support just as much as I did.

'I shall read the Doomsday Books of these impure, lost children,' the man in red and white said and just as I realised why the singing voice sounded so familiar, I also realised why his voice sounded so familiar.

_Ash. And… and me._

You always hear your voice different than others hear it. That was why it had taken me this long. Sebastian had probably figured it out the moment he heard the song. I looked over at him, but he wasn't looking at me. _Damn it. Why is he always looking at me when I look at him _except _when I need him to look at me?_

'Jill Peasent,' is the first name the man that sounded like Ash read. 'The second daughter of a farmer, she conceived a child at the age of fifteen.'

The woman started to cry as the man in red and white opened the other book. 'Thomas Atkins,' he said. 'No especially evil deeds, but he has spent his life meaninglessly. That is a grave sin.' Then the two just started to twitch and I saw a strange, black aura coming out of them and I had to look away. Everyone on the church was praying, not thinking this was bad of strange at all. And there were young people here too.

Finally, finally, Sebastian looked at me. He gave me a look that said: _You can see it too, can't you?_

I nodded. I knew he meant the black aura.

Then one of the windows started to glow, the one with the picture of an angel and Ciel and I both made a surprised sound at the same time. The church filled itself with heavenly light.

'Snuff out the unworthy. Snuff out the unnecessary. Snuff out the unfruitful. Snuff out the unclean!' the man that sounded so much like Ash shouted and I started to tremble.

_Too close to the sun, too close to the sun, too close to the sun._

I couldn't hear anything, I just saw the face of the woman who saved my life, reaching towards it, grasping her beauty and pureness.

'Clarissa.'

This wasn't pure. This was something that was once pure. This was a rotten apple from the wrong side of the tree.

'Clarissa.'

This was nothingness. This was the dream, the goal of a madman trying to accomplish something that he could not. Because a fallen apple rots and can bear any other fruits.

'Clarissa!'

I turned my face to look into one deep blue eye. 'Snuff out the unclean.'

Ciel looked seriously frightened now. 'What did you just say?' he asked slowly. He was sitting on his knees on the bench, making him look much bigger than I was. He had one hand on my shoulder.

'Eh?' I said, pulling my eyebrows up. 'I didn't say anything.' I noticed the church was empty, though. 'Is it done? Did I miss it? What happened? Did I fall asleep?'

Ciel frowned and opened his mouth to say something when Grell said: 'Something's off. Those books weren't Cinematic Records.'

Ciel turned his head to the reaper, but remained in the same position with his hand still on my shoulder. I noticed the bench was shaking. Why was the bench shaking? 'Then he doesn't have the power to see the past?' Ciel asked Grell.

He couldn't answer, because something made a strange noise. What was it? Like a wild animal…

Five eyes were looking at me now and I wasn't sure why.

Ciel put his other hand on my head. 'Calm down, Clarissa. It's over. For now.'

Then I realised that I was the one making strange noises. I was the one that was shaking. And I was the one who noticed the doors opened and three nuns came into the church. 'Ah, you're still here!' one of them said, making all of us turn their heads towards them. I didn't look at them, though, I stared up at Ciel's chin. He had a nice chin.

'The heavens have smiled upon you!' she continued. 'Come with us, we can help you.' But the look in her eyes told me that whatever she was going to do, she would enjoy it way more than we would.

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of the chapter! Probably a lot of typos, because my mind is a big foggy for some reason.**

**Review Reactions:**

**sydviscious1: yeah, I know, I make a lot of typos. I've already said this, but I will go and correct them once I'm at chapter 50. And I probably won't do a season two, not because I don't want to, but because the season two of the show is kind of hard to do after the ending I have in mind… so yeah.**

**KuroMoochj: Thanks you! And there's no such thing as fangirling too much ;)**

**BlueFireIsIceCold: Yeah, it **_**is **_**a hilarious scene. But I felt like him sleeping with another woman once was bad enough. I don't think Clarissa is a girl that would keep chasing a guy that has slept with two woman because he had to gain information. She does have some dignity, even if very little.**

**Aizama Maiko: Thanks, and yeah, she should just punch him in the face! Ha ha, don't know if I can get her to do that though… he **_**does **_**have a very pretty face… would be a shame to beat it up…**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: Nope. He doesn't really care about anything. Well, he cares about **_**her**_**, but not about what she is.**

**jessyo: ha ha, thanks! I never saw myself as funny, so this is actually a bit of a surprise-compliment!**

**Thanks for reading everyone! See you next chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>


	48. Chapter 48

**Hey people! New chapter coming up! As I've said before I'm going to take a short break after I put chapter 50 online. But it won't be more than two weeks, maybe not even that. And I probably won't do a sequel with these characters, at least not with the storyline that season two has. That doesn't mean that I'll stop writing after this story, but everything closes a bit at the end I have in mind and I don't really want to work around that. Also, I'm not a very big fan of season two. It didn't follow the manga and to me, it just didn't make a lot of sense. But that's my opinion, I know more than enough people who ****_did _****like season two, so no grudges or anything. We can all like what we like.**

**Oh, and I love to tell you that I'm probably going to do the Book of Murder Arc, but that kind of depens on when I see the animated version and stuuf like that. If it _is_ in this story, which I at this point do not know for sure, it will be right after this arc. So yeah, you'll have to wait and see!**

**Anyway, I've been talking for long enough. Enjoy the new chapter!**

**And I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I think everyone knows that by now.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 48**

'St-Stop! I'll do it myself!' Ciel screamed annoyed. I couldn't see anything since Sebastian had covered my hands the moment the nuns started to take Ciel's clothes off.

'Nonsense!' one of the nuns responded, clearly enjoying this way too much. 'You've been chosen for the heavenly choir, so we must cleanse you from head to toe!'

'Oh, such unblemished skin!' the other nun said.

I held in a laugh. I didn't think Ciel would appreciate it if I started to laugh now. Not that I could see anything, but still, hearing this was hilarious enough.

'D-don't touch me!' Ciel shouted annoyed.

'Don't worry, we've already been cleansed,' one of the nuns said, as if that was the problem here.

Ciel seemed to agree with me. 'That's not the issue!'

Then Sebastian removed his hands slowly and I saw that Ciel was still wearing most of his clothes. Well, he wasn't wearing his jacket and bow and his shirt was all messed up, but he wasn't _that _indecent. But he did blush when I looked at him with a small grin on my face.

'Pardon me,' Sebastian said. 'I'll take care of the rest.'

One of the nuns shook her head. 'We cannot allow it. You're still unclean…'

Sebastian tilted his head to the side, using a seduction trick once again. 'Am I impure?' he asked in the most innocent, almost adorable voice.

The nuns blushed, clearly not used to hot male men and seeming more than willingly to throw their pureness away for this man.

'Maybe you're not…' the first nun said.

'Certainly not!' the other one added.

'You have no idea,' I sighed.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian went to 'cleanse' Ciel when I turned to the nuns. 'So… what about me?'

The nuns looked at me confused, as if I'd said something despicable. 'Oh, no, you don't need to worry about it. You're already clean, miss,' one of the nuns answered. 'Our great leader told us so.'

I frowned. Don't tell me that leader was a reaper too. Because, seriously, even though I'd always thought that I would love to get some more attention, now that I had it, it actually annoyed me. When it didn't creep me out.

Speaking of things that creep my out… where had Grell gone?

'I'm sorry,' I asked the nuns. 'But where's my other... companion?' I couldn't get the word 'friend' of my lips. 'The one with the red hair?'_And the bad manner, _I added in my mind.

'Devilish red colour!' one of the nuns said. 'Such an impure man!'

'He was taken away by our sisters,' the other nun added. 'You will be able see him again after he's been cleansed.'

Great, I bet Grell is loving the 'cleansing'. Really hope he doesn't take of a child's clothes again. 'Aha. So what happens to me now?' I asked, not trusting the fact that these nuns were so… strangely nice to me. To hell with 'you are already pure'. This was about something else.

'We'll give you one of our outfits, you will have to wear that most of the time. And then you can wait outside for your companions,' one of the nuns answered.

I sighed. I could have seen this coming. I should've known that sticking with Ciel would someday end in me having to wear a ridiculous outfit.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Don't laugh.'

'I'm not laughing.'

'You're smiling.'

'I'm just happy.'

'There's nothing to be happy about.'

'You look absolutely ridiculous.'

'I could say the same for you.'

I sighed and shrugged. 'True, true, true. But at least my hairy legs aren't exposed.'

Ciel clenched his hands into fists. 'Shut up.'

Me and Ciel were standing in the hallway of the church, waiting for something. I wasn't sure what. I wasn't even sure if Ciel knew. I also still had no clue where Grell was. But now, Sebastian seemed to have disappeared as well. So maybe it was part of the plan. And since I thought Ciel would like me better if I didn't ask any questions, I didn't.

Ciel crossed his arms and leaned against the cold, stone wall. 'I would like to apologize to you. I didn't know he used that kind of approach,' he suddenly said.

I looked at him, confused. Then I understood what he was talking and started to shake my head like an idiot. 'No, no, no! You shouldn't apologize! I don't care! I really don't! He can use any apporach he wants on anyone!' - Well, rather not on me - 'Why sould I care?' I hadn't lied that much in months.

Ciel rolled his eye in annoyance. 'I didn't say you _cared_, did I? I just realised that he probably used such tactics on you as well. That's why I wanted to apologize. I didn't know he did things like that.' He frowned. 'Quite troublesome.'

I sighed and leaned against the wall as well, next to him. Our elbows touched as I crossed my arms too. 'Sebastian's a bastard, but I think I know how to handle it by now. He never really hurt me or anything. You have no reason to apologize. I didn't even know you did that.'

'Did what?' Ciel asked, frowning.

'Apologizing,' I said in all honesty.

Ciel stared at my face for a short while before blushing and looking away. Aw, how adorable. And even a tiny bit sexy. Ciel had it tough on that department, though, since his butler was kind of the ultimate sexbomb. 'I just apologized to you because you're under the protection of the Queen. Don't get any ideas.'

I smiled. He was so kind. I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. I just couldn't help it. 'I know, I know.'

Then I noticed how Ciel looked at me, one hand on his cheek now. As if he couldn't believe I just did that. Then his expression changed and became hard as stone. 'There's something wrong, isn't there? I noticed back in the church… something here is influencing you… in a bad way.'

I frowned. 'I'm not sure.' I sighed and looked away from his face, staring at the stone floor. 'I really don't know.'

Ciel opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by the arrival of six nuns. 'We have instructions to bring you to the leader,' one of the nuns said to Ciel.

'And to bring you to the garden,' another nun said to me.

I didn't like this at all. Why were they separating us? What was going to happen in the garden? What was going to happen in the church?

I quickly turned towards Ciel. 'Promise me you have a plan,' I said softly.

He rolled his eye. 'Oh, _please._ I always have a plan.' And then he gave me a quick kiss on the lips and walked passed me, to the nuns. 'All right. Let's go then.'

As he left with three of the nuns I just stood there, one hand against my lips as I tried to understand what just happened.

'Clarissa?' one of the nuns asked, making me look up. 'Are you coming with us?'

I pulled myself back together. 'Y-yeah. I'm coming.' And while they directed me to the garden I realised that I had never given them my name.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The nuns brought me to the garden and walked away immediately after that, leaving me alone with the roses.

'A beautiful evening, don't you think?'

I turned around and saw Ash, accompanied by the purple-eyed nun.

I clenched my hands into fists. 'Ash,' I said, not hiding my hatred anymore.

He completely ignored my harsh tone. 'Remember my sister, Clarissa? She _did _save you three years ago, you know. One of those vile reapers should have killed her. And well, he kind of did. Not quite, though. I managed to keep her alive. A bit. You should be grateful.'

I just looked at the lady and wanted to puke. I didn't even _want _to know how he'd managed to keep her alive. 'What do you want from me, Ash?'

Ash came closer to me, pulling my head up with the tip of his finger under my chin. 'Hmm, I want nothing _from _you, Clarissa. I want _you._ Preferably dead, but since there's so much unclean in this world, I rather use you before destroying you.'

'What are you talking about?' I asked, pulling my head free from him and taking a step backwards.

I was actually surprised at the fact that Ash didn't take a step towards me again. What a relief. 'Did you know that when you become a reaper, every power you have becomes maximized? That's why demons or angels cannot become reapers. They're power would be way too big. They would overpower every creature in this world.'

'So?' I asked, taking another step back. 'What does that have to do with me?'

Ash laughed. 'You're naïve, child. Very naïve.' He looked back at the nun, who was still standing there like a statue. 'Don't you wonder why I use your voice?'

'Well, I'm more curious about the 'how' actually,' I said. Jesus, how did I manage to be sarcastic in this situation? I was scared to death!

He laughed. 'Just as your Sebastian who can appear and disappear, I can as well. It wasn't that hard to find you singing a religious song in the morning.' His eyes looked like they were glowing. 'You sing quite a lot.' He took a step forward now, immediately followed by me taking one back. 'Of course, a recording of the voice doesn't do much. But the fact that your voice is – in fact – the most angelic voice has some effect. It calms people down, makes them believe in the cleansing and everything I tell them.'

'Wait… you're using my voice to brainwash people?' I said, holding a hand in front of me to keep him from getting closer.

He shook his head, but not in a denying sort of way. 'Such a vile word coming from such a pure mouth.' He sighed. 'Allow me to shut those lips up.' He took another step forward, ignoring my hand that tried to push him away. He talked about strength, yet I didn't have any. This man was just crazy. He took my chin in his hand and lifted my face, but he didn't kiss me, like I thought he would. He just smiled. 'Angela?'

The woman stepped forward, carrying no expression on her face whatsoever. She took me over from Ash and put her hands on both side of my face.

The moment the pain started was the moment Angela fell unconscious on the ground.

And the moment I fell down in darkness.

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><p>XxX<p>

* * *

><p><em>POV change<em>

'We've brought him,' one of the nuns told the leader. They had brought Ciel to the church, and the man in red and white – quite obviously the leader – was standing behind the altar. Ciel loathed the altar and the symbol that the man had on his robe.

'Leave us,' the leader ordered and the nuns left immediately. The man held his head down, making Ciel unable to see his face as he spoke. 'You look divine, Ciel. Come this way.'

Ciel walked up to the altar and held his face high with all the dignity he had. 'I am honoured that you have chosen me,' he lied.

The leader smiled a smile that Ciel didn't trust at all and put his hand on Ciel's shoulder. Ciel actually felt fear coming up, but he kept himself under control. This man couldn't frighten him. He was way below his standards.

'I'll read you a book,' the man said, but he said it as if he was going to do a lot more than just 'read him a book'.

'Sir, what is a "Doomsday Book"?' Ciel asked, not wanting this nonsense to continue.

The man ignored him. 'I'll read to you… until you fall asleep. Tonight is a treat.'

Ciel froze. He had heard that before. _I'll read to you until you fall asleep. Tonight's a treat, since it's your birthday. _Memories of a past life, a past him, started to come up in his mind, but he pushed them away. Focus. He needed to focus.

And then the man's hand moved from his shoulder to his forehead and that touch also had something familiar. He knew that hand.

_His hand… No. It can't be. He's dead. They're both dead. That's right. _'Sebastian, this is an order! Kill him!'

'Yes, my lord!' Sebastian flew through one of the windows, followed by Grell, both still wearing normal clothes. Sebastian took one of the pieces of glass and threw it to the man's head, immediately killing him.

Then another formed in the broken window, standing there as if it was the normal thing to do. 'Cleanse yourself of the sins you have committed here and now,' the girl said in a monotone voice.

'Clarissa?' Ciel said confused while Sebastian said 'Clarissa' as if he'd known all along. Ciel couldn't believe that she would betray him. No. This wasn't happening. She was _his _pawn, not anyone else's.

'Wait, what happened to her?!' Grell shouted in panic. 'This wasn't supposed to happen!'

Clarissa titled her head to the side with a strange, mockingly innocent smile. Then she jumped down and faster than even Sebastian could be, she grabbed Ciel and spread her white wings, flying up high in the church.

'Young master!' Sebastian said, not understanding how Clarissa could be faster than him. The wings didn't surprise him, though. He had known that she was at least part angel. Part an angel that could beat him? Impossible. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Ciel stared at the girl's face and quickly realised that this wasn't her. Both her eyes were purple and her face didn't look right. This wasn't how Clarissa wore her face. This was how an imposter wore it.

'I shall show you all the light and darkness of your past,' Imposter Clarissa said to Ciel, hugging him almost as if he was dear to her. Then the room filled itself with darkness and Ciel screamed.

The next moment, both Ciel and Clarissa were gone.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Grell,' Sebastian said slowly. 'Don't you think it's time to tell me what this is all about?'

'How am I supposed to now?!' Grell asked frustrated.

Sebastian sighed and put a hand to his forehead. The sexier version of the face-palm. 'Not about the cult. About the girl. Miss Clarissa Lane.'

'Oh!' Grell said, then he put his hands together and started to wiggle like an idiot. 'But Will told me not to tell anyone about it!'

Sebastian gave him a his most seductive smile. 'Please?'

Grell almost attacked Sebastian out of happiness, but then realised that this wasn't the time. 'She's a creature born from a reaper and an angel. To keep her save from the fallen angels, her powers were sealed and she was kept in the human realm.'

'But because a creature like her is more powerful than any of you, the seal started to wear off,' Sebastian guessed, because he'd seen this happened. She had become less and less human every day.

'Indeed!' Grell agreed.

'And she means so much to reapers because she's the first hybrid to be born, correct?'

'Correct,' Grell agreed again.

Sebastian sighed. 'I think I will need your assistance once more, Grell.' _Because I'm afraid this is going to be a lot harder than expected._

'Woeh, Sebas-chan! You… need me?!' Grell said happily.

Sebastian sighed. _This is going to be a very long day indeed._

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**End of the chapter! I actually wanted to leave that last part out, but I already made it quite obvious, so I just wanted to get it out of the way. Also, the chapter was short. It still is kind of short. Sorry about that. And sorry about the typos. I'll fix that after I put chapter 50 online.**

**Thank you everyone for reading, reviewing, favoriting and whatever else brought you here (bad English...)! Greetings and kisses!**

**Aqua Lilly: yeah, you're allowed to mock me as much as you want ;) And maybe I will make a second story, I'm not sure. I just won't use season two as source material. :(**

**trepidon: wow. Thanks so much for the amazing compliments! And no, I won't stop writing, I'll just take a short break to focus on homework and fix some typos. So don't be down!**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: well… all part of the plan, I guess?**

**promocat: Yeah, they're pretty fucked up. But at least Angela died!... probably…**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>


	49. Chapter 49

**_(singing the smurfs melody) La la la la la la, new, new chapter! La la la la la la, typos everywhere! _****Okay. I'm done now.**

**But argh! This chapter was ****_hard to write! _****It took me ages! And then it was almost midnight and I have to get up early in the morning, Yay.**

**And another reminder: after chapter 50, I won't update for a short while.**

**And I don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**XxX**

**Chapter 49**

Where was I? I was everything, _felt _everything, but I couldn't do anything. I saw it, _felt _it as I grabbed Ciel into my arms and spread my wings. But I was even too far gone to be surprised at the fact that I even had those.

It was _her._ The woman from the garden. Angela, or something. She had put herself in my body, something that sounded really strange out of context. But she was there, in my mind and I had no idea how to stop her.

I just hoped that Sebastian would know a way. And have it be a way in which I live, pretty please. I still had to ask Ciel why he kissed me (yes, I'm a teenage girl. And no, I don't know my priorities).

I had absolutely no idea where we were. A really, really big library. Bigger than Ciel's library. Bigger than any library I could even phantom. And I wasn't sure why, but I had my hands and mind back for a short while. Angela had put Ciel on one of the couches in the library, near the door. I was sitting on the couch right next to him and it felt really strange to feel my body like still. Humming with power and powerful wings that felt like part of me on my back. For all I knew they were legs. They felt so… familiar. As if I'd always had them.

'Ciel,' I said, happy to see that he was alright. Happy to use my own voice again.

He got up slowly and first looked at me with a hateful look before he realised that it was – in fact – me and not an imposter. 'So it's you, Clarissa?' he said, laughing a laugh without happiness. 'I should've known you would become my downfall.'

'Well, I'm not doing anything!' I immediately said, waving my arms. Then my hands suddenly stopped moving. It was as if Angela had woken up, and was taking control over again. I could _feel _my soul being pressed back somewhere in this mind and body. 'How did your past feel?' Angela asked, using my voice in a completely different way than I did. 'Was it soft like burnished velvet? Or was it more like over washed cotton's—'

'Shut up! That hand… was my father's hand' Ciel said hateful, but I again was too far gone to understand what he was talking about. Maybe I wouldn't even know if I wasn't lost in my own body. 'You killed them, didn't you?'

Angela gave no reaction, which in this case seemed like a confession.

'Why?' Ciel asked, disgusted and angry. 'Why did you kill my parents?! What could you have possibly gain—'

'"Killed?" What a disturbing thing to say,' Angela said with my voice. 'Am I the only one who harmed your parents?'

I didn't understand. Ciel seemed to be confused.

'Didn't your butler… No, didn't _you _kill them again?' Angela asked and I felt how she pressed my lips into a wicked smile. She laughed, but it certainly didn't sound like my laugh. 'You were brilliant. I didn't expect you to stay sane in the face of that distorted past.' She stood up now, slowly walking towards Ciel.

But Ciel was standing too, and starting to move backwards. 'Why, you…'

It was no use, of course. Angela – or _I _– was faster than Ciel could ever be. 'You are thoroughly sullied,' she said, appearing in front of him. 'However, underneath the surface is a glow that would be a shame to waste.' With my hands she grabbed his chin and brought my face closer to Ciel's. And Ciel looked at me with hateful eyes and even though I knew they weren't meant for me, it still sort of hurt. 'Shall I change your unsightly, impure past for you?' she asked, wrapping her wings around Ciel as she trapped him.

_No, don't! _I screamed at her, but I was almost certain she couldn't hear my. I couldn't do anything. Dammit. Why wasn't I stronger?

But more importantly, why wasn't Sebastian saving his precious master?

XxX

_POV change_

'Angels have to ability to tamper with Cinematic Records,' Will explained to Sebastian. He'd joined their little rescue mission the moment he'd sensed Sebastian in the library. An angel on reaper grounds? That was uncalled for. And it would certainly cause him extra paperwork.

'They can change the past?' Sebastian asked.

'I doubt even God could do that,' Will said in a denying way. 'They merely give you false peace. It's what angels do before a human dies. They give them peace and bring them to heaven save and sound. But someone as powerful as the girl could probably just rewrite the past written in Ciel's soul, deleting the memories that drove him to darkness and cleanse his soul.' He readjusted his glasses. 'Not something you would enjoy, would you, demon?'

Sebastian didn't react, but he did start to run. Something like that really wouldn't be something he'd enjoy.

And even though Will would normally love to harm a demon, the girl and a human were involved with this, as well as the stolen Cinematic Records. If he took care of this tonight, a lot of his work would be gone.

They reached the main hall of the library, only to find Ciel in Clarissa's arms, his Cinematic Record flowing out of him like rivers. His body glowed with an angelic light. But the thing that disgusted the demon the most was that strange smile on Clarissa's face, a smile that clearly did not belong on that face. 'His past is being rewritten,' she said calmly. 'He's being purified, made clean and white as snow.'

Will just stood there, pretty impressed by the huge wings the girl had. Much bigger than average angel wings. Probably even bigger than the wings of that vile demon…

'Purified?' Sebastian asked, knowing that this only confirmed Will's earlier words.

'No one wants to harbour hatred,' Clarissa said, closing her now completely purple eyes. 'That holds true for him as well.'

That sounded like something Sebastian really didn't like. 'You master!' he said, starting to approach the girl.

'How rash,' Will said, almost sounding kind of bored. It actually made Sebastian stop his attempts to get closer to listen to what Will had to say. 'If you forcibly stop her now, the child's past won't be properly contained in him, and he will become less than human. Also, you still aren't allowed to harm the girl's body.'

'Yes, yes,' the other creature reacted using Clarissa's voice. 'He will become white as snow.'

_No, he won't! _a voice suddenly shouted through the library and Ciel flew out of Clarissa's grip, into the air. Sebastian didn't understand what was going on, but the reapers seemed to know. 'He's rewinding the Cinematic Record by himself?!' Grell said shocked.

_No, _Sebastian thought, narrowing his eyes. _Not by himself._ 'Clarissa!' he shouted, not even sure if she would be able to hear him.

Then Ciel's Cinematic Record rolled back inside of him and he started to fall down. Sebastian managed to catch him easily, but Ciel still looked like he was in pain. 'You always exceed my expectations,' Sebastian told him when Ciel opened his eye. 'You are truly worthy of being my prey… no, my young master.'

The fact that Ciel was saved didn't change the fact that something was still possessing Clarissa though. 'Tsk,' she said, disgusted. 'The horror of such an unclean heart! Depraved, stagnant, without light… My brother should never have shown you mercy.' She closed her eyes and stood with her wings spread. 'I shall purify you here and now!'

Sebastian took out his knives. 'Let's do it, then!'

Will didn't seem to like that idea. 'Still not allowed to hurt the girl, demon,' he said. 'But, disturbances in the library fall under grim reaper jurisdiction. So we'll at least join the fight, Grell Sutcliff.'

'Oh, we're a trinity! The door opens on a passionate battle!' Grell said fangirly, not even realising that this wasn't going to be much of a battle if they weren't allowed to hurt the opponent.

And then the Undertaker walked passed them, pushing a huge amount of books. 'Yes, yes, coming through,' he said casually. He walked up to one of the gigantic cases and started looking. 'Let's see… Number eight… number eight…'

'Undertaker!' Ciel said, surprised.

Undertaker just turned around and gave Ciel a small wave and a big smile. 'Hi!' he said and the somehow managed to make that small word sound incredibly long.

'Hey!' Grell said, confused. 'What are you doing here—?!'

Will smacked Grell on his head. 'Mind you tongue!' he ordered. 'This is the virtuoso who passed judgement on the famous Robin Hood and sent Marie Antoinette to hell. He is the legendary grim reaper who makes the staunchest of souls give up the ghost.'

'Wait a minute!' Grell said, not believing a word his elder said to him. 'He doesn't look anything like the fellow you just described!' He walked up to the Undertaker. 'How could this dreary old man be a legendary grim reap—' Grell pulled up the hair that covered Undertaker's face and whatever he found there, he obviously liked it. A lot. He hugged the man, who just smiled awkwardly, and said: 'Make love to me.'

Clarissa – or that things possessing her – clearly had enough of this stupid conversation and pulled herself up into the air while shining like the sun. 'As you seem so busy,' the creature said, using the sarcasm that this body was so used to, 'I'll start my purification with that abbey.'

'Running away again?' Sebastian screamed, trying to provoke the hybrid creature.

It ignored him completely. 'I shall show you all what happens to a world ruled by impurity.' Then she vanished.

XxX

_Clarissa's POV_

Angela started to purify – or should I say 'torture' – everyone in the abbey while I still sat locked up in this body, only able to witness this horribleness. But then, Sebastian suddenly appeared in the middle of the church and I felt Angela's boiling anger. Still she spoke so calmly when she said: 'What a pious demon you are, to wish to die at an angel's hands… Sebastian Michaelis.' Huh. I totally forgot that that demon had a surname too. How odd.

'So, you're an angel?' Sebastian asked, narrowing his eyes. 'Why is an angel taking over miss Lane's body?' he threw a few of his knives, but Angela avoided them easily. Their positions changed. Now Sebastian was standing by the altar and she was standing in the middle of the church.

'Unless, you're not an angel anymore,' Sebastian said, clearly only trying to buy some time. 'But a fallen one. I've heard about you before. Mostly about how mad and obsessed you are.'

William T Spears appeared then, piercing Angela – and therefore – me to the wall with his gardening tool. 'Grell,' he said, handing over another death scythe to the reaper that just appeared right next to him.

'Yes!' Grell said, taking the death scythe to pierce Angela against the wall as well, both their strengths possible enough to hold her in place. Even though William had made sure that his death scythe barely hurt me, Grell was a bit more clumsy and I felt the pain in my wrist as his death scythe cut me.

'Wash it and return it when we're done here,' William told Grell, not saying anything about hurting me. Yet. Maybe it wouldn't matter now. Maybe they were already planning on killing me.

'You're so mean,' Grell said dramatically.

'Now then,' Will said, readjusting his glasses with his free hands. 'What to do about this situation? It doesn't seem like Clarissa is conscious in there right now.'

'Why not just kill it?' Sebastian said and even though my brain wasn't really working right now, I understood that he wanted me dead now that he saw what my body could do. I didn't blame him. I knew him way too well to blame him for what he was anymore.

'Clarissa, listen to me,' William said, sounding strangely serious. Even though he always sounded serious, this time it was different. 'You're more powerful than whatever is possessing you. If you don't get the overhand, we will have no choice but to kill you to save these people. And you don't want to die yet, do you? You haven't even said bye to the child yet.'

Geez, he really should stop with referring to Ciel as a 'child'. He was only two years younger than me. Jesus.

But his words gave me some power to try and fight back. But it was no use. You couldn't fight an opponent that you couldn't find. And right now, I was lost in my own head. I wanted to scream. Tell them that I wanted to live, but that I didn't know how. Where was my body? Where did it start, where did it end? I didn't know.

The moment Angela started to cry was the moment I realised that maybe I had never lost the control over my body to begin with. 'H-help me,' I managed to say, but then I noticed that my power was taken away from me, like two little children fighting over the controller of the Xbox or something.

Grell, Sebastian and Will both narrowed their eyes as they realised that I was – in fact – still there. Then I saw that Sebastian made a decision. I just saw it in his eyes. He realised what he had to do. The problem was that I didn't. And that look in his eyes kind of scared me for what he was doing to do. 'Bring her down,' he told Will.

Will readjusted his glasses again. 'I'm not going to what a vile demon like you tells me to do…'

'Just do it!' Grell said, almost sounding annoyed.

Will sighed, but agreed and together with Grell they put me down, but pierced me to the wall less high in the air to keep me – or Angela – from escaping.

Sebastian slowly came closer and everything he did was almost catlike. 'Clarissa… you haven't forgotten our little deal yet, have you?' he said, coming closer and closer until he finally touched my face. No. Angela's face. And Angela didn't like that at all. But I felt that my body did. My body was still _my _body and my whole body loved his touch. The angel inside of me didn't, though.

He tilted his head to the side. 'What? Are you telling me that you don't like me?' he said innocently. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth against my ear, breathing in my hair and neck as he said: 'Clarissa. Let me in.'

Angela started to scream and I felt I lost sight when everything bathed in light. The floor started to shake and I heard the sound of falling rocks. Was the building falling apart? I couldn't see.

'Feel free to run if you'd like,' I heard Sebastian say, to who, I wasn't sure. But it sounded further away.

'Grell Sutcliffe,' I heard William say, 'We'll retreat as well. Demon, take the girl with you before she blows the building up with herself still inside. That would cause me a huge amount of paperwork.'

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I felt like my eyes were burned away. _Geez. Always worrying about his paperwork…_

I heard how Grell made all sorts of funny noises while I felt Sebastian's familiar arms around me, holding me close to him as Will said: 'Well, really! Never mind overtime pay, I'd like to request a day off.'

XxX

I wasn't lying on the ground as I woke up. I was laying against something hard and solid and I felt the morning sun on my face. I didn't want to open my eyes, though. Scared of Angela. Scared of Ash. Scared of Sebastian. Scared of everything this horrible world had to offer.

I started to panic, though, when I heard Ciel's voice say the words: 'A promise is a promise. Take it.'

I wanted to open my eyes, wanted to scream, wanted to save him. _I didn't even get to say goodbye._ But was it over? It wasn't over, right? It couldn't be over. I heard footsteps followed by silence, then, only a few second later, I heard that Ciel was still here. 'Why, Sebastian?! Why aren't you taking my soul?! We found her body! We killed her! She must be dead! Or…'

Even with my eyes closed I knew that Ciel was slowly turning to me to look at me. 'She's… you aren't saying… Do you mean there's someone else…?'

Short silence. Then: 'I'll be serving you a while longer, young master.' Another short silence. 'Well, then. Shall we return to the mansion? We need to tell the Queen that she doesn't need to worry about the occult anymore.'

A deep sigh. 'Yes. She has one worry less now,' Ciel said, but I knew he wasn't looking at his butler, but still looking at me. I could almost _feel _his eye on my face. 'But it seems I gained something new to worry about.'

XxX

**So, end of the chapter! Next one will mostly be filler, but also it will explain stuff to Clarissa (she still doesn't really know anything yet).**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: Ash and Angela. That's what happened. I'm happy that at least Angela is done now. I think. I hope.**

**promocat: well, Grell behaved himself rather nicely I must say XD**

**Guest: Thank you so much! Love to hear that people like it :)**

**MrMichaelisLover: Thank you so much! And yeah, there will be a bit more of that whole situation in the upcoming chapters and Sebastian will definitely be jealous (even if he won't be able to recognize this emotion).**

**Thanks everyone for reading and all that good stuff! Love every single one of you! Until next chapter! Bye bye!**


	50. Chapter 50

**Okay, chapter 50 is here, so after this I won't be updating for a while. But don't worry, I'll be back for chapter 51 in LES THAN TWO WEEKS, so it really is a very short break before continuing this story. And it's kind of sad, but this story is slowly coming to an end… kind of sad… I'm not sure what my next fanfic will be, but I definitely won't stop writing, but hey, we still have a long way to go before this story is finished (probably around 10 chapters to go), so let's get going!**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji nor will I ever own it (because Yana Toboso owns it so much better XD). Enjoy the chapter and see you in a week or two!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 50**

The first thing I realised when I woke up was that I had no idea where I was. The second thing was that I was wearing a ridiculous outfit.

'Hey!' I said, shooting up from the bed I had been laying in. 'What the hell am I wearing?!' I looked like a freaking nun.

'Please do not shout. It's quite annoying,' someone who sat beside the bed said.

I turned to look at William T Spears and realised that I had missed something, because I had no idea where I was and why he was with me. 'William,' I said, somehow just his presence calmed me down. 'What are you doing here? Where am I?'

'In my cellar,' Undertaker said as he entered the room with that familiar grin on his face. The was carrying a cup of tea for me and handed it to me, but I wasn't really in the mood to drink it right now.

'…Okay,' I said slowly, still not getting it. 'And why am I in your cellar?'

William readjusted his glasses. 'Letting you go to the Phantomhive mansion didn't seem like a smart and save move, so we wanted to keep you out of that demon's claws until you were conscious enough to protect yourself.'

I rolled myself. As if I would ever be able to protect myself from Sebastian. Then I realised something. 'What has happened that I suddenly cannot return to Ciel's mansion?' I asked, frowning. I looked down at my tea, but the strange smell that was coming off of the liquid made me decide to not drink it at all.

William sighed. 'Grell Sutcliffe was smart enough to tell the demon about you and your powers,' he said, sounding more cynical than a normal human ever could. 'I'm just trying to avoid unnecessary consequences.'

Great. So Sebastian knew what I was before I knew. Just fantastic. 'Aha. But don't you think I'm allowed to know now, if even that vile demon does?' I didn't think that using Sebastian's name now would make William like me. At all.

'I do believe you're correct,' William greed, closing his eyes for a second. 'But first you need to tell me what you can remember about the passed few days.'

I frowned. Why was that important? 'Well,' I began, not sure what he wanted to hear from me. 'We went to the Undertaker for some bullshit Queen Guard Dog-stuff that I rarely understand and then went to this church-thingy – ah, I remember why I'm dressed like this,' I said, not understanding why I'd forgotten that. But the further I tried to think, the harder it became to remember. But not impossible. 'So then three nuns brought me to this garden. And Ash was there, with Angela. And Angela, she… possessed me or something. It was… rather odd.' That didn't even begin to cover it, but for now this was explanation enough. 'And I don't understand anything that happened after that.'

Undertaker, who was leaning against the wall of this small room in his cellar, giggled. 'Not strange. I do believe the council was wrong for keeping you in the dark for so long.'

'Yeah, I know, right?' I said, smiling a small smile Then I frowned. 'What happened to Angela?'

'We destroyed her body, which we found in the garden, and that seemed to destroy her as well. I do not sense her presence on you anymore,' William answered. I remembered now that Grell called him 'Will'. It was shorter. And it sounded better. But I wasn't sure if William would like it if I started to call him 'Will' now. Especially since Grell calls him by that name as well.

Without thinking I brought the cup of tea to my lips, but lowered it when the strange smell flew into my nose. 'And Ash?'

Will looked away and readjusted his glasses again. 'I have to be honest and say that we have no idea where he is at the moment.'

At the Queen's house, probably. Since he was the Queen's butler. It was quite a smart tactic, I had to admit. Just stick close to one of the most powerful women in the country, safety guaranteed. Unless your Guard Dog has a demon butler. That complicates things. 'That sucks,' I said, 'but I still want to hear the explanation.'

'Explanation?' Will repeated with one eyebrow pulled up. Damn that was sexy. He should do that more often.

'Yes. Explanation. About who I am. And why everyone makes such a big deal out of my safety and stuff.' Ugh, I really should stop with adding 'and stuff' behind so many sentences, but that was just what I always did!

Will looked down for a moment, not readjusting his glasses for once. Then he folded his hands together, while still sitting perfectly straight. 'I knew your father. Your real father,' he began, clearly planning on starting from the very beginning. Which was smart, seeing how I wasn't that smart, so any explanation needed to be a bit longer for me. 'He wasn't an excellent reaper, but he did is job.' He sighed.

Will was silent for short while, letting this sink in. Huh. My father was a reaper. I really hope it wasn't Barrymore he was talking about, but I didn't think it was.

Then Will spoke on. 'Angels and reapers rarely meet. They live and work in completely different realms. That's why no reaper or angel ever had any sort of relationship before. But your father managed to befriend an angel, which ultimately caused your birth.'

Angel. Reaper. I really wasn't human at all. But how? I felt so normal all these years. I wasn't strong or fast like Sebastian and I wasn't smart and cool like Will. So what was I? A mistake? 'What happened to my parents?'

Will frowned, then he readjusted his glasses and said: 'You need to understand that when an angel doesn't follow the rules they fall and lose their angel souls. What remains is an empty lunatic, obsessed with cleansing the human race. When your mother became pregnant, everyone knew it. Heaven, hell, everywhere. They knew. Even though your mother and father hid themselves away from birth, it wasn't long before they were found. The fallen angels didn't want you to live, thought you were an impure and unnatural creature, so they attacked.'

For some reason this started to sound like a _young-adult_ romance novel. But I didn't say anything, because, to be honest, I was intrigued.

'What they didn't know was that you were already born. And the reapers had already taken you away for examination. You were horrible ill. The small body you had couldn't carry the great amount of power it possessed,' Will explained.

'So my parents were killed by the fallen angels?' I asked after a long amount of silence. That sounded horrible.

'Well, yes and no,' Will said, 'your parents were with you that day and no fallen angel could ever enter the reaper realm, so they were as save as possible. But to save your life the heavenly choir put a seal on you, sealing away your powers. Which also meant that you couldn't stay in the reaper realm.'

'Wait… the heavenly choir? Wasn't that in the occult here? What did they have to do with anything?' I asked confused.

'No,' Will answered, shaking his head. 'The heavenly choir is the name for the highest class angels with the greatest power. Even though we'd never worked together before, reapers and angels both found that keeping you alive was the best idea. Maybe your birth was the start of a new and improved race.'

'And that's why you were protecting me,' I said, finally understanding what the fuss was about. 'But that doesn't explain why I was raised by mister Barrymore.'

'It does,' Will simply said. 'Like I said, you were just a baby and your power were sealed, making you about as strong as any mundane human. And no human could survive in the reaper realm for a long period of time, especially when you're so young and vulnerable. But we couldn't bring you to earth, not when the fallen angels were waiting for you.' He stopped talking, as if he didn't want to say anything else about it.

'So… what did you do?' I asked when he didn't say anything anymore.

He closed his eyes and sighed before answering. 'The reapers and the angels joined forces to kill the fallen angels.' He opened his eyes. 'And we thought we succeeded. It becomes clear now that this wasn't the case.' He readjusted his glasses. 'Your parents were killed during the battle. I didn't fight, I was still in training back then, but I knew the loss. We had to put you away in an area where no fallen angel would ever look. And Barrymore was one of those towns that seemed to be invisible for every supernatural creature.' He sighed again. 'Of course, we came to check from time to time, there have been many discussions about your situation, if your father wasn't too abusive, if we shouldn't bring you somewhere else. But, frankly, it wasn't really our concern. Then you were kidnapped and we realised that you might need more help than we thought. But then you met Ciel Phantomhive.' Will looked at me as if that was the worst thing that could've happened.

I frowned, not sure what Ciel had to do with this. 'I'm sorry, what's wrong with me meeting Ciel?'

'It wasn't the boy as much as his butler,' Undertaker said and quite frankly, I had forgotten he was there until he said that.

'Indeed,' Will agreed. 'Even a demon would notice the strange soul you have. Pure enough to be an angel's soul, but even one conversation with you should make it clear that you are no angel. And strong enough to be a reaper's soul, but obtainable. Also, the seal was fading, you were becoming stronger and stronger and started to beat the seal even without knowing it. The moment your skin and eyes changed was the moment the seal was completely broken.' He readjusted his glasses _again._

Wait… I was strong enough to unconsciously break an angel's seal? Holy smokes. That was… strange. And awesome. 'You're saying that I'm stronger than the angels who put up the seal?'

Will nodded.

'Stronger than Grell?'

He nodded again.

'Stronger than _you_?'

He waited a few seconds now, almost not willing to answer. Than he nodded again.

'Stronger than Sebastian?'

Will frowned. 'You know, I find it pretty insulting that you think that vile creature is even remotely stronger than I am.'

Oops. 'Sorry, sorry. But am I stronger than him?'

Will gave me a sour glance and I looked at him with my most innocent face. Than he sighed again. 'Yes, yes you are. With you maxed out purifying skills you could probably kill him with one touch if you wanted to.' He got a glow in his eyes as he said that, clearly enjoying that idea.

I looked down at my hands, still holding the tea cup. _These _hands could kill Sebastian with just one touch? How?

Now I understood why I shouldn't return to the Phantomhive mansion. Sebastian had already said that he would kill me the moment I became a threat to him. And, well, I apparently was. This only complicated things. And I still really had to talk to Ciel. About a lot. I never clarified my history with Ash and I hadn't told him that I'd seen Ash before Angela took me over. I wasn't even sure if I had told him about the fact that I had been there in the same room as him when he made the contract with Sebastian.

'William, you said I was stronger than Sebastian, right?' I asked, forgetting about the tea and putting the cup on the nightstand.

He nodded. 'Yes, I did, but don't get any crazy ideas. Going to the Phantomhive manor now would be too dangerous. Hundreds of reapers paid overtime for you and I would hate to see that go to waste.'

I sighed, I could've know. Maybe this was incredible selfish of me. But I never _asked _all those reapers to look out for me. I never asked anything from anyone. 'So… when do you suggest I go back to the Phantomhive mansion?' I asked.

'Well, I suggest 'never',' he almost immediately answered, while – again – readjusting his glasses. 'But I can see in your two-coloured eyes that that isn't going to happen. So I suggest I let you go if you win a fight against me. But don't worry, I won't hurt you.'

Ah, crap. I was doomed.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'You know what? Let's forget about the Phantomhive mansion. I mean, who wants to go there any—'

Will grabbed my wrist and put it on the table. We were sitting upstairs now and I was fully dressed. I had thought that with 'win a fight' he meant that I had to fight him, but no. I seemed like I just had to arm wrestle a bit. Didn't mean that I could ever win such a thing – certainly not against William – but at least it wouldn't hurt as much as being poked with his gardening tool.

He grabbed my hand and I grabbed his and I knew that my face gave away that I wasn't confident at all, because he said: 'No need to worry. If you lose the first time, we'll try it a second time. Okay?'

I nodded, even though I wasn't sure if I liked that arrangement. Did that mean that if I won, he would get another chance as well? This rule seemed kind of strange for such an organised man like Will.

Undertaker decided that he wanted to play judge, so he sat between us and started to count while also giggle like a little girl. 'Three… two… one… Go!'

Bang, hand on the table.

But it wasn't my hand that was put down on the table. 'I'm sorry,' I said, blushing. I let go of his hand. 'I started too soon. Let's do it again.'

William sighed as the Undertaker chuckled. 'You know, dearie, you didn't start too soon.'

'Hmm?' I asked, not taking Undertaker completely serious.

Will readjusted his glasses, but I noticed that he looked embarrassed. 'He's right. I you weren't too soon. I was using all my strength as well.'

Err… 'ERR?!' I looked at my hand. What the hell? 'Since when am I superman?!'

'Superwoman, I hope,' Undertaker said laughing.

William still looked like he was quite embarrassed. Who wouldn't be, he was beaten by a teenage girl. 'I… I think this means you can return to the Phantomhive mansion. I will bring you to the gates, but I won't drop you off. Keep in mind that there's always a reaper nearby to help you, Clarissa.' But he said it like it wasn't really necessary to know, as if no reaper could help me with the strength I already had.

I couldn't stop staring at my hands. 'Won't I break everything I touch with such strength? I wasn't using any force at all.'

Will shook his head slowly. 'Strength is different for us. Our body knows how strong it needs to be in which situation. Sometimes, our body allows us to use all our strength, like during a game like this. But while holding a tea cup, or a human for that matter, your body instinctively knows when the strength it has will hurt it and keeps it in check.'

That still sounded kind of dangerous. I had to keep in my mind not to hug Ciel anytime soon. But I would love to crush Sebastian's bones. But maybe Ciel wouldn't appreciate that. Nor would I when Sebastian lay in bed with broken bones and Ciel was attacked. Well, now _I _would maybe save him, but I wouldn't count on that all too much. I mean, I didn't even know I could do this until two minutes ago.

'Well, are we leaving or are you going to stare at your hands all day?' Will asked.

I looked at my hands for a few more seconds before looking up. 'We're leaving.'

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><p>XxX<p>

**So that was chapter 50, hope you liked it even though it was only exposition and no fun. I will see you again in one or two weeks for chapter 51 (after I finished my homework and all that frustrating stuff that I don't want to think about)! Oh, and important to know is that the whole 'Lau' arc of the anime (you know, with the drugs and Sebastian in prison and stuff) won't be in this story for a couple of reasons. One of them is because it isn't in the manga and I like Lau too much, second is that that story doesn't really work in modern day setting. And the third reason is that Clarissa ****_knows_**** that they need to go after Ash, so it's pretty weird that they go play the Queen's Guard Dog when they are in fact looking for the butler of the Queen, so that they can kill him. So there you have it.**

**Aqua Lilly: Aww, so sweet! I will miss your sweet reviews! :) And lol, I'll have to fix those strange typos of mine.**

**Silent Ninja 93: wow, that's a really big compliment. Thank you so much! Now I'll have to live up to that amazing compliment ;)**

**promocat: probably true XD**

**trepidon: no, it won't be the ending, at least four more chapters, but probably more! And it will be kind of a happy ending, I don't know. The ending I have in mind is the best outcome I could come up with without Sebastian or any of the other characters getting out of character. So yeah, hope you will like that.**

**Jacelover103: Aw, sorry I didn't do that, but I really wasn't sure how to describe the outfit XD and I won't be gone too long and it's not only about the typos. I have a lot of homework and other stuff I need to take care of, but I won't be gone for more than two weeks! I probably won't even be gone two weeks. (btw is the 'Jace' in your username the 'Jace' from 'Mortal Instruments'? Because if it is, that's awesome. If it's not, forget I said that :s)**


	51. Chapter 51

**Hey, I'm BACK! :D Hope you didn't miss me all too much, but I sure as hell missed writing! So here's a chapter for you guys, not sure when the next one will be up. But I think this story will come to an end at the end of March, if not, then in April.**

**BUT the story won't end there. There will be an epilogue after the last chapter and then the status will go from 'in progress' to 'completed', but I will still be adding new chapters, but these are short stories and stuff like that. These short stories will begin with Book of Murder and I have no idea how many 'extra chapters' there are going to be. But you can be sure that Book of Murder will be happening AFTER the epilogue.**

**And I AM going to write another Kuroshitsuji-fic in the future, but not soon. After I've said goodbye to Clarissa I want to write some stuff not Kuroshitsuji-related so that I can be fresh and new when I write another one. I'm not sure what my next story will be about, I'm not sure about a lot at this point, but I can say for sure that Book of Murder IS happening.**

**And I took a break to focus on school and get rid of the typos… but I sort of didn't. I got to chapter 5 before I thought 'to hell with that, I'll go a check when the story's done'. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. And even though I did check this chapter, there's always stuff that I miss, so sorry about the typos.**

**Anyway, enjoy chapter 51 and thank you guys for the wait!**

**I do not own Kuroshitsuji**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 51**

I had the feeling that William was desperately trying to keep up a conversation with me. 'That demon did go to the lab for a DNA-test not too long ago,' he said after I didn't react to his story about Grell losing his death scythe again. 'He did not know that we were keeping an eye on him. We used false DNA-results to make sure he thought you were human. Maybe he'd lose interest if he did. Which obviously wasn't the case.'

'William,' I said when I thought about something that I hadn't really thought about before. 'My soul... is it... obtainable for creatures such as demons?'

William readjusted his glasses while driving. 'Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. It's also a very powerful soul, so don't be careless with it. I know that look you have in your eyes, but if you think you can save the boy, you're wrong. That boy has been walking in the dark for too long. He's beyong saving.'

I sighed and looked out of the window. _Why does everyone - even Ciel himself - speak about Ciel like he's already gone?_

I have to admit that I was relieved when we finally reached the mansion. But when I walked up to the gate of the Phantomhive manor, Will stopped me. 'Wait, Miss Lane,' he said. When I turned around I saw that he had a strange look in his eyes. 'Before you go in, there's something I would like to show you.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'Hey, stalker-kitty. Long-time no see,' I told the black cat who walked towards me as I walked over to the front door of the mansion. Then I decided to give him a name, because 'stalker-cat' wasn't a really good one. 'Bubbles,' was the first things that came into my mind. The cat tilted his head like Sebastian did so often, as if he was asking me what I'd just said.

I knelt down and put my hand forward, waiting for the cat to approach me. Which he did with a soft purr. 'Bubbles,' I repeated. 'I'm going to call you Bubbles. Do you want to be my friend, Bubbles?'

Then I shadow fell across my and the cat and I looked up to Ciel, with his hands on his hips. 'Jesus Christ, you look and sound like a walking and talking Christmas special,' he said.

I shot straight up, forgetting all about Bubbles, and wrapped my arms around Ciel. 'You're okay!' I said relieved, hugging him like I wanted to squeeze him to death. Then I remembered the short kiss he'd given me and released him immediately.

He looked like he hadn't expect me to react like that, but he didn't seem too unhappy about it. 'So are you. Now get back in side. And make sure that filthy thing doesn't follow you. I'm allergic.'

I sighed and rolled my eyes. If only Ciel knew that this cat had been into his house numerous of times. 'Yes, Ciel, I know. I'm not stupid.'

'What gave you that idea?' he asked as he leaded me to the mansion.

I rolled my eyes again. 'Aren't you a little bit too funny today.'

Sebastian was holding the door open for his master to enter. 'Welcome back, miss Lane,' he said. 'Did you sleep well?'

'Yes, thank you for asking,' I answered, not liking this strange attitude that Sebastian suddenly had. What was he planning?

'Come with me to my office, Clarissa,' Ciel ordered as he gave Sebastian his coat. Since Sebastian didn't ask for mine, I kept mine as I walked after Ciel towards his office.

I sat down on the chair in front of the desk and watched as he walked around his desk and sat down on the corner of his, crossing his legs and looking at me with a look that I could not understand. 'So, you're a hybrid,' was all he said.

Of course. I should've known that Sebastian would tell his master. Why wouldn't he? 'It appears so,' was the incredible unintelligent answer I gave him.

'So… how do we feel about that?' was his next question.

I scratched the back of my head, feeling nervous around Ciel now. Wasn't sure why. It bothered me. 'Err… my brain hasn't really progressed it yet, so I'm kind of in a 'wow'-state at the moment.'

'Aha,' was Ciel's reaction, clearly not approving of my choice of words. 'And… I suppose there's something you want to ask me?'

There was too much I wanted to ask him. But I couldn't. I didn't want to hear the answers. So I asked the question that I could ask with more ease. 'I'm surprised you're here. I thought you would go after Ash as soon as you realised he'd something to do with it.'

Ciel frowned. 'I didn't know that until you just told me so,' he assured me, catching me by surprise. Shit! Was that something that I shouldn't have said? I tried to think of something so say, and excuse, maybe, but then Ciel sighed. 'Not that it matters. Ash is still the Queen's butler and even though you told me Ash is involved with this, the Queen isn't. And I do now want to cause the Queen any inconvenience while getting my revenge.'

That sounded like something Ciel would say. And also something that Ciel wouldn't say. 'Why would you care?' I asked bitter. 'When Sebastian has taken care of Ash, you'll die.' I crossed my arms and blinked a few times more to keep my tears from flowing. Stupid Ciel. Stupid contract.

Ciel came a little bit closer so he could push my face up to have a better look at me. 'What's that? Are you _angry? _It's not your decision, Clarissa. Get over it already. I will die. So will you. One day. We are all destined to die.'

I wasn't too sure about that. Half angel, half reaper. Two immortal beings. How mortal could I truly be?

Then I felt something strange in my stomach, like burning fire. I shot out of my chair and stood close to Ciel, pointing one finger to him as if I was blaming him for something. Which maybe I was. 'That's not it, is it? This isn't about the Queen, this is about something else. Are you _scared, _Ciel Phantomhive? Are you scared of dying? Are you scared of leaving this world?'

Ciel pulled up an eyebrow. 'I don't know where that came from, but of course I'm not.' Then he frowned. 'I just thought… it's a tempting idea… to die _with _the soul the craves.'

I cringed as he said the 'd'-word, even though I had just said it myself, from his mouth it sounded different. But I did understand what he meant. To him, this was a game of chess. And I felt like he realised that he wasn't playing with Ash, but with Sebastian. And dying with the soul that demon craved would be like winning the game for Ciel. And I wish I could help him. But I didn't know how. He would hate me forever if I saved him. He wouldn't even call it saving.

Then Ciel reached for my face and I felt his fingers on my cheek as he touched me as if I could disappear any moment now. It was like Sebastian's touch, it wasn't magical, but it was warm and somehow soothing and I noticed that I unconscious leaned into his hand, as if I needed that touch as much as he seemed to need it.

I realised that this was the perfect moment to ask a question. About us. About why he'd kissed me. About why I wanted to save him. About how Sebastian had tried to lure me into the darkness to many times. About how I would willingly give up my soul to save his.

Was that love? I didn't think so. Not the love that burned hot and bright, destructive enough to consume everything on its path. What I felt for Ciel was more like a small candle in a room. It was a small light that made the room glow, but it was put out so easily. Just a small blow and it would be gone.

'Clarissa,' Ciel said, slowly moving forward, just a little bit.

I saw that he wouldn't go any further. He wanted it to be _my _decision. I had never expected Ciel to leave that sort of thing to me, but now that I thought about it, he probably was just embarrassed. The only girls he really seemed to know ere Lizzy and me. Not a large range of experience there. Of course he was scared.

But I knew that kissing Ciel now would leave to nothing. Ciel would still die. We wouldn't become girlfriend-and-boyfriend. Ciel didn't even do 'friends'. Of course he didn't do the whole 'girlfriend-boyfriend'-thing either.

Then I heard someone clearing his throat and I leaned back to look who had entered the room. I wasn't surprised to see Sebastian, however, I _was _surprised to see how angry he looked. I knew that look. It was his '_don't touch my prey_'-look that he always gave people who were touching Ciel.

I took a few steps back. 'Relax, Seb, I'm not hurting your precious master.'

That made Sebastian frown. 'I didn't—' Then he stopped himself from anything else, almost as if he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. 'I just wanted to ask what I should do about miss Lane,' he then said, talking to Ciel as if I wasn't in the room anymore.

Ciel cleared his throat and sat down behind his desk before speaking. 'What do you mean?' he asked his butler.

'Well, she obviously cannot stay here,' Sebastian reasoned. 'Now that it's been confirmed that she's a powerful being that I cannot take on, it's too dangerous for her to stay here. She could mess up everything.'

'For you, you mean,' Ciel said, entangling his hands.

Sebastian's expression became as hard as stone and he didn't react. I had to admit that that was actually kind of funny. I never knew that Ciel dared to say such things to Sebastian. Or maybe I had known it, but it still surprised me.

'Clarissa was my guest from the beginning and that won't change. However, it's a good thing you're here now, Sebastian.' Ciel but his elbows on the desk and leaned leant his head on his hands. 'I want you to go find out about the Queen's activities for the upcoming month. Report me about what you find in the afternoon.'

Sebastian bowed – clearly not all too willingly – and said: 'Yes, my Lord,' before disappearing completely.

Ciel sighed and stood up again, this time he walked toward the table with the chess board and pieces and sat down. 'Now then… How about some chess?'

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><p>XxX<p>

I was surprised how calm Ciel was while explaining chess to me. Even if he had to repeat himself three times, he didn't seem to mind. As if he liked being with me. Which I hoped he did, but I still wasn't sure about that.

I didn't win any game, of course. I was terrible and Ciel was trained, professional and intelligent. I bet playing chess with me was incredibly boring for him, but he never complained.

Sebastian came back without a problem and announced that he was going to start with the preparations for dinner when I had already lost eleven times.

Dinner was silent. Soon after that Ciel returned to his room and Mei-Rin was ordered to bring me back to mine. I took a long bath before getting into the warm and big bed that I, too be honest, had missed a lot. I wasn't tired yet, though. So I just looked at the ceiling, not really thinking about anything important.

'Young master seemed to be very impressed by the fact that you are – in fact – not human,' Sebastian said and as he said it, I smiled. I knew it.

My smile must have confused Sebastian a little, because he asked: 'What's so funny?'

I kept looking at the ceiling as I said: 'I knew it was only a matter of time before you would show up to my room to talk about nonsense and then leave when you feel like it. That's what you always do. You're a bit strange, you know that?'

I felt it when he sat next to me on the bed and I heard him sigh. 'I'm aware of the fact that to you, I might look or act strange. Even though I most of the time act according to my true nature.'

'Most of the time?' I repeated frowning, finally looking at him.

His dark red eyes looked down on me and he had an almost invisible smile playing on his lips. 'Yes, there are – of course – some exceptions.'

'Oh?' I said, pulling up an eyebrow. 'And what are those, exactly?'

'Well, the fact that I had to raise a human boy wasn't exactly part of my nature,' he explained with a sigh. 'Nor was not killing you. Which I'm still not going to do, so you can go ahead and relax.'

I narrowed my eyes, not sure if I could trust his word. As I did that, he narrowed his eyes too, clearly not entirely sure why. Then I said: 'Yeah, I'm not going to believe you like that. You can still lie to me, remember?'

Sebastian sighed. 'I know how reapers and angels work, Clarissa. And I might be arrogant, but I'm not stupid enough to even consider killing someone who is so many times more stronger than I am.'

It was strange, hearing it from his mouth. It made it even more true. Will, Undertaker, they could say whatever they wanted, but it felt like they were from a different place all together. Sebastian was closer to my world – or at least the world I was momentarily living in – and it somehow made it more real. I yawned and allowed myself to close my eyes. I rolled on my side, facing Sebastian with eyes closer, and put my hands in front of my face, covering my mouth. 'That's right,' I said, my voice sounded strange through a pair of hands. 'I could crush you like an ant. So don't even think about doing something to me in my sleep.'

Sebastian laughed softly, but didn't say anything. Then, suddenly, I felt a hand on my head and I froze, but then I realised that it was Sebastian's hand and even though that didn't make me relax completely, it did calm me down a bit.

'You don't seem to have much of a reaction,' I said after a short while of silence. It sounded like a whisper.

'That's because a bigger reaction than this wouldn't do me any good,' he answered. 'Of course I was surprised, but it explained more than enough to keep me satisfied. Even though I now know you're a bigger threat than I thought you were, I also now know that there isn't much I can do to get rid of you.'

'Hmm, I almost get the feeling you don't want to,' I said teasingly.

'I suppose that's true,' Sebastian said to me surprised, but I wasn't sure how to react to that, so I kept my mouth shut and eyes closed, trying to hide the fact that I was blushing about something as small and simple as this.

Then Sebastian started to pet me like I was a cat and somehow that seemed like an honour. Then I heard Sebastian sigh again, but I was too far gone already to ask why he sighed. I must've been more tired than I thought I was.

Then, on the brink of dreams and nightmares, I swear I heard Sebastian say: 'If only I could keep you.'

But that was something that Sebastian would never say, so I threw that away as something my mind had produced before I fell asleep.

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><p>XxX<p>

'Paris?' I repeated.

'Yes, Paris,' Ciel answered and he took another sip of tea before cutting another piece of his cake. 'We'll leave tonight, so be sure to pack your things.'

'Why are you even taking me with you?' I asked as I considered giving my piece of cake to Ciel as well, since I wasn't feeling too good.

Ciel smiled a smile that didn't look happy at all. 'First off, you're still under my protection. Second, of anyone were to blow up my mansion, I bet it would be you. And lastly… you're the strongest here. I might need you.'

I froze. 'I'm not your weapon.'

Ciel gave me a sceptical laugh. 'And I'm not a fighter. But here we are.' I wasn't sure what he was trying to say though.

I sighed. Hey, at least I was coming with them. But I wasn't sure if I was going to like Paris. What was the Queen doing there anyway. 'And why can you attack Ash while he's with the Queen in Paris, but not when he's with the Queen in London?'

Ciel answered almost immediately, which told me that he'd thought about this answer beforehand. 'I don't want to risk destroying her castle. And I've never gone good business with the French anyway. I wouldn't care even if I blew up the freaking Eifel Tower.'

I found that idea strangely exciting. 'OEH! Let's do that!' I said with my mouth full of cake, because I had taken a bite out of reflex.

Sebastian, who was standing across the room cleaning the silverware, chuckled and Ciel looked like he wanted to face palm himself. 'Please, Clarissa, remember that out of us two, you're the older one,' Ciel said before putting his knife down and turning his head to Sebastian. 'Another piece of cake, please.'

Sebastian nodded and put the just cleaned silver spoon away. 'Yes, my Lord.'

Oh, that reminded me of the things Will had shown me before he'd left me. I shot up from my chair and smiled at Ciel. 'Look what I've learned.' Then I grabbed Sebastian's wrist and flew him above my head on the ground. Of course Sebastian's demon reflexes were quick enough to be on his feet almost immediately after, but it still made me laugh. 'You see, Sebas? Every time you're mean to me I will throw you like that.' I laughed at his perplexed face and ticked him on the nose. 'So remember that, okay?'

When he looked at me like he'd just met his worst nightmare I laughed even harder.

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of the chapter! This was kind of a filler chapter and it wasn't very long either, so sorry about that.**

**Jacelover103: Yes, I have! I love them! And hey, I won't stop writing when this story's over, so maybe you'll like my upcoming stories as well? Anyway, thank you for liking my story and thinking I'm a great author, those compliments really mean a lot to me :)**

**Aqua Lilly: I love the plan! Let's go there now! Not sure what the address his though, but don't worry, I'll find it! ;)**

**promocat: well, hope you liked the reaction! They will have a more detailed conversation later, don't worry!**


	52. Chapter 52

**Hey, people! Hope you're having a great weekend! Here's another chapter for you guy and maybe I'll write more this week, if not, expect a new chapter on Friday.**

**I do not own Kuroshitsuji or any of its (awesome) characters, but I do own my OC.**

**_Typos everywhere! All that I mess up! Celebrate the typos! Before your eyes! In the city of light, they all come together! Ciel won't last forever! I'll miss him my whole life! (_****props to the people who actually know where the original song is from****_)_**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 52**

'So you've never been on an airplane before?'

'Nope,' I answered. 'And certainly not in a private jet. Seriously, why do you have such a thing?'

Ciel looked away, out of the window. 'It's convenient.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Of course it is. I bet you use it _all the time_.'

Ciel sighed. 'Sebastian, please give Clarissa something else to do. I don't want her on my back for the whole trip.'

Sebastian got out of his seat and walked to the back of the room, where apparently the entertainment resided. 'How long will it take, anyway?' I asked as I turned back to look at Ciel. In this jet we were sitting across one another and we both had way too much space. Sebastian sat in the seat next to me, but we were separated by the path between the chairs. I wasn't sure yet if I was happy about that or not.

'About an hour. Maybe more,' Ciel checked his watch. 'It doesn't really matter. Sebastian has already booked a hotel and if I'm correct, Her Majesty will arrive tomorrow morning. So we have time.' Then he turned to me. 'Want to go and blow up the Eifel Tower?'

I wasn't sure if he was joking or not. 'I'd rather… not,' I said in all honesty. 'But I would love to _see _it.'

Ciel made a waving gesture with his hand. 'Don't bother. It's overrated. And ugly.'

'Oh, well, then let's visit the Notre Dame. Or the Scare Coeur!' I wasn't sure if I had to right to request anything, but I was too happy that I got to left the country to care.

Ciel made a face as if he smelled something really bad. 'Churches. Something Sebastian's not quite fond of. And neither am I, to be honest.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Great. You guys are so great. So what are we going to do in Paris? Sit in our room and play chess?'

'Exactly,' Ciel agreed, ignoring the clear sarcasm I had in my voice when I said that.

I moaned. 'Go to hell.'

Then I realised that that was one of the most inappropriate things I could've said. Ciel looked at me with a cool expression for about three seconds. Then he looked away and said: 'Don't worry, I will soon enough.'

And I was out of my chair, ignoring the fact that we were flying as I knelt before him and hugged him. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry,' I whispered as I tried to comfort him.

I felt that he put his hands on my shoulder, but he didn't push me away. I was happy about that, but also a bit confused. I still didn't know what was going on in Ciel's head. What was that guy thinking?

And then I opened my eyes and looked over Ciel's shoulder to Sebastian, who looked like he just realised that he lost his favourite cat. It was a heart-breaking expression to see, but with Ciel in my arms and the knowledge of who – and _what _– Sebastian was, I didn't care. I just closed my eyes again and pretended I never saw that.

But at the same time I was sure that picture of Sebastian standing there with that hopeless expression would haunt my nightmares for as long as I lived.

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><p>XxX<p>

I should've known that Ciel would want to sleep in a fancy hotel. But a freaky fancy thing that looked more like a palace than a hotel? I hadn't expected that. At all. I mean… I would've dressed a bit nicer if I had known.

'Hotel Balzac' was the name of the hotel. Never heard of it. But it sure as hell looked fancy. And even though I didn't know any French, Ciel and Sebastian spoke it flawlessly as they arranged the room. Then I heard the words 'royal suite' somewhere in their sentence and froze. Oh my freaking God. How rich could Ciel be? He owned a _toy _company! How rich could you become from selling _toys_?!

'Are you coming, Clarissa?' Ciel asked as a servant of the hotel took over my suitcase. He pointed at the elevator.

'Y-yes!' I said, way too impressed. I ran after him and we went into the elevator alone. I wasn't sure why Sebastian wasn't coming with us, but I was sure he had a good reason not to. Or maybe Ciel just wanted to be alone with me. Dammit! I really should just ask him!

'Let me guess,' Ciel said slowly as the elevator went up. 'You've never slept in a hotel before?'

I shook my head. 'Nope, I haven't. And even if I had I wouldn't have been prepared for this. This is so fancy!'

'Yes, of course it is,' Ciel said. 'I'm accustomed to luxury.'

'How can you even pay for all this?' I asked amazed.

Ciel shrugged. 'I'm an earl and I own a company.' Then he frowned. 'And it's not like I have to save money for later. Since this is most likely my last case, I would like to spend it in luxury.'

I frowned too and we were both silent as the elevator went up and up.

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><p>XxX<p>

'Oh my—I can see the Eifel Tower from here!' I screamed as I ran towards the balcony and jumped through the room. The room I was currently in was the sort of living room area of the royal suite, but there was also a massive bedroom and a way too fancy bathroom. I wish I could live in this place.

'Of course you can,' Ciel said, as if that was a silly thing to say. Then he said: 'You'll be sleeping on the couch, if you don't mind. Even though we've shared a bed before, I rather not today.' He sounded sincere.

I didn't mind. Of course I didn't. The couch was almost as gigantic as the bed. 'Of course I don't mind! You paid for this, I sure didn't!' I said, still looking at the Eifel Tower. It was evening now and the lights on the Eifel Tower glowed. It was magical. 'Too bad we didn't come a few days earlier. We could go to Disneyland!' I added when Ciel didn't say anything.

'Disney. Competition,' Ciel told me. 'I'd rather you go to Fantom Land.'

'Is there a Fantom Land in Paris?' I asked him, turning around while frowning.

Ciel looked slightly confused. 'No,' he answered slowly.

'Exactly,' I said grinning, turning around to see the city of light again. This was so magical. This really did feel like a dream. 'By the way,' I said after a few more minutes of looking at the city. 'Where's Sebastian?'

Ciel didn't answer, but he came to stand beside me. After a while he opened his mouth. 'Sebastian is finding out in which hotel the Queen is going to sleep and how high the security will be. He is also arranging a ticket for you, so you can return to London safely after this is over.'

I felt that my eyes teared up again. 'Where am I supposed to go? If you're gone, I have nothing left. I could just get a job at Disneyland and work there for the rest of my life.'

'Well, they do have accommodation options for their employees there,' was Ciel's only reaction. 'Maybe it would be good for you. I doubt you can still make the year after all the lessons you've missed and I don't think you would be able to pay University. So maybe you should.'

'Ciel!' I screamed frustrated. 'How can you be so calm about this?'

'Because,' he said slowly, 'it won't help me to be angry. Or sad. Or scared. I will still die, no matter how I handle it. Stop criticizing me, Clarissa. You're not my mother.'

Ouch. I knew exactly where that came from. I _did _always treat him like a child, like a little brother. I turned my head to look at him and I saw that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking out of the window, but it seems like he was seeing nothing. 'I'm sorry Ciel, but I never once thought of you as my son.'

He slowly turned to face me and the expression in his eyes was one that I _was _able to read. Sebastian something looked at me like that, but Drossel was the one who would always look at me like that. _Desire._

'Ciel,' I then said and I sounded so apologetic that it made me cringe. 'You are the closest friend I have. Hell, you're probably the only friend I have. And you're all I have left. And I would do anything to save you.'

He turned around and walked away, stamping with his feet like an angry kid. 'What good will that do you? I choose this path, Clarissa. Having you save me is like losing the game. And my honour. I won't be saved. I don't need saving.'

I knew that I was pulling an ugly face. The kind of face kids make when they wanted to convince their parents that they didn't break their expensive antique vase. 'But if I could save you, would you—'

'If you 'save' me,' Ciel said the word like it was a bad thing and like it wasn't the right word to use. 'I will never forgive you.' After he said that he marched out of the room and left me alone with the fancy furniture and expensive looking decoration.

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><p>XxX<p>

Ciel didn't speak with me anymore. He had dinner without me and went to bed without telling me.

I sat on the couch and stared at the floor, not knowing what to do. I had meant every single word I'd said. And I knew that Ciel wouldn't forgive me if I saved him. But I _wanted _to save him. So much that it hurt.

'Good evening, my lady,' the demon said as he slowly walked into the room.

I moaned. 'Not now, Sebastian. I do not have the patience to deal with you today.'

'That's fine by me,' he said, sitting down beside me. 'I like you better when you're angry, after all.'

I laughed at that, but it sounded cynical and was quite short. I looked away from Sebastian and stared back at the floor again. 'Sebastian, about what I am—'

He interrupted me. 'I'm sorry, but I won't talk to you about that all too much. I promise I will if you still want to talk to me after I've finished my contract with my young master, but until then, I want to keep my knowledge away from you as much as possible.'

I sighed. I should've known. Of course he didn't want me to become an even bigger threat than I already was.

I felt how Sebastian put the hair that fell into my face behind my ear and then entangled his hand in my hair, but I didn't look. 'Clarissa, I understand that it's hard for you, but you need to understand—'

I knew what he was going to say and it angered me, so I grabbed his wrist so hard that I should at least hurt him a little and said between my clenched teeth: 'Don't you dare say anything about Ciel and his faith. It's _your_ fault. Don't make killing you more tempting than it already is.' Then I pulled his hand away from my hair and put it down.

I saw how surprised Sebastian looked at his hand, as if he never thought I would do that. 'Remarkable,' was the only reaction I got from him.

I crossed my arms. 'Anything else?' I asked him.

'Yes,' he admitted. 'I happened to hear your conversation about Disneyland and I… wanted to show you something.' He shot up from the chair and offered me my hand.

'It's almost midnight, Disneyland is closed by now,' I told him, because even I knew that.

He just smiled innocently. Not trustworthy at all. 'I know. But please, just this once, trust me.'

I tilted my head to the side and observed him, the hand he held out to me and the possibility that I might die. If only Will had learned me more tricks. If only I wasn't so naïve and stupid. I took his hand and he lifted me off the couch, out his arms around me and I hooked my hands around his neck so that I wouldn't fall. 'What are you doing?' I asked as I realised he was carrying me like a princess.

'I'm showing you the benefits of being an immortal, supernatural being,' he told me and then he brought me to the balcony, opened the door and spread his wings to fly into the night.

My grip around his neck tightened as I realised that we were actually flying and as a response, his arms around me tightened as well. 'P-p-people are going to s-see us!' I told him, slightly terrified.

'Humans are stupid. They do not see anything,' Sebastian assured me. 'Though I will stay away from the Eifel Tower, if you don't mind.'

I just nodded against his chest and shivered as I felt the cold wind of the night, which made Sebastian look down on me. 'You are half angel, half reaper, Clarissa. You shouldn't feel cold. Cold doesn't bother does who stand above nature.'

I looked at him confused, but then realised that he wasn't looking at where he was flying. 'Watch where you're going, idiot!' I screamed.

Sebastian chuckled. 'Even though you're so special, you're still so human. You believe this wind is cold, so you find it cold. Understand what I'm saying?'

'Nop—' I stopped during that one word when I saw a pink castle in the distance. 'Oh my god! Is that—'

'No, it's not,' Sebastian said cynical. 'Of course it is!'

I felt a smile appearing on my face as I saw the attractions and decorations. Even though most of the lights were off and there wasn't much to see, it was wonderful to at least see it once. I looked up at the demon. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome,' he told me. 'I believed you deserved some kind of distraction, with everything that has been going on.'

I tightened my grip around his shoulders even more. 'Thank you,' I said again and I felt how my emotions got to me. I knew I loved this demon, there was no point in denying it now, but I never felt it as much as I felt it right now. And I felt the desire to kiss him more than ever. But I didn't want to fall down nor crash into a building, so I didn't do anything.

But what I was feeling must have been easy to see for Sebastian, because after one look he landed on the top of one of the man building around Disney and looked at me with a looked that I'd seen before. I always looked at me like that right before he kissed me. Slightly amused, with a hint of an emotions that I couldn't understand. 'For someone who has said that she didn't want to do this sort of thing, anymore, you sure seem willing,' he said as he leaned his head down to kiss me as if this was his last chance. Even though his words had sound teasingly, his kiss felt desperate, almost sad. And it felt as if I could feel his emotions through our connection and I kissed him back with the same desperate need.

I wasn't sure how long we stood there, well, he stood there while carrying me. After a while Sebastian pulled away, but only to press his lips on my forehead. 'Do you want to do back to the hotel?' he said against my forehead.

I yawned. I hadn't noticed before but I actually was quite tired. I nodded slowly.

Sebastian pressed his lips against mine for a second before pulling back completely. 'Very well.'

As he carried me back I managed to get something out of my mouth. 'You only did that so that it became even more impossible for me to hate you,' I said softly.

His fingers that were on my lower back found a way underneath my shirt and he chuckled. 'I admit defeat. Is there anything you don't know?'

'You,' I murmured, so soft that I wasn't even sure if he could hear it or not. 'I don't know you.' I yawned again. 'Not really.'

Just before I fell asleep completely I realised that the cold didn't bother me anymore. As if someone had given me the power to believe that the cold wouldn't hurt me. Yes, I may not know Sebastian, but he sure as hell knew me. Way too well.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**End of the chapter! I had that last scene in my mind ever since I started to write this story, but now that I've finally written it, it felt forced. Aw, well, I liked to write it and I loved seeing the mental picture as I wrote it. So there you have it. I'm sorry this chapter was short, longer chapters will be coming up!**

**Silent Ninja 93: Thank you so much! Hope I made your day today as well ;)**

**promocat: Thanks! Hope I won't disappoint you!**

**trepidon: ha ha, here's more! And there will be more this week, probably on Friday, maybe sooner :)**


	53. Chapter 53

**So I said I would update on Friday. And then I had a head ache. And when I have a head ache, I don't make a lot of sense. And since this story needs to make make sense (at least a little bit ;) ), I didn't write. So I thought 'I'll update in the morning'. And now it's almost nine pm and I still haven't written because homework and the fact that I had to build three IKEA closets by myself. So that was fun. But anyhow, enjoy the chapter!**

**And someone pointed out that I haven't told you guys Clarissa's hair colour, which is really stupid of me. She has brown hair, but now dark, dark brown. Brown that looks dark blonde in the sunlight, that sort of brown. A very light shade of brown. And she does have curls, but not much. It's not curly, not it's not straight either. It's wavy. I'm rambling now, I will stop doing that.**

**I do not own Kuroshitsuji (surprise!), but I do own Clarissa. And beware of the typos, maybe I'll fix that someday. And I'm tired, so if I stop making sense somewhere in the chapter, or after the chapter, where I am also rambling like an idiot, blame my lack of sleep. Which is actually my fault, so you can just blame it on me XD**

**BTW if any of you cares (I don't think you do, but this is my story so I'll say it anyway), but the song I was talking about at the beginning of the previous chapter was actually 'Magic Everywhere' from Disneyland Paris. If you don't know that song, don't look it up. It will either make you miss any Disney park, make you way to happy or annoy the crap out of you. It's a song they made for their 20****th**** anniversary and it was actually sang by a Dutch girl, so I feel connected to that song somehow, is that weird?… and I'm still talking, aren't I? I should stop doing that now.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 53**

I didn't wake up in the morning, but in the middle of the night. Wide awake. It was quite annoying, but I guessed it had something to do with the fact that some supernatural creatures didn't need much – or any – sleep.

'Sebastian?' I said softly, without receiving an answer. I waited a few more minutes than made the assumption that Sebastian had left for some reason.

And then I knew what had made me wake up. Scream from the room next to mine, screaming for help, for revenge, for his parents…

I was in Ciel's room before that thought was even in my head. I saw him lying in his bed, shaking, shivering and screaming as if anyone would hear.

I guessed this was usually the point where Sebastian woke him up. Or maybe he would just stand beside his master's bed and watch him suffer. Yeah, that bastard would probably like doing that.

I looked at sleep for about two seconds before making a decision. Then I stepped into the bed and put my arms around him, pulling him against me. 'Ssh,' I said in an attempt to comfort him. 'Ssh, everything's okay.'

Slowly Ciel relaxed in my arms, but very, very slowly. He now felt like a child more than anything. But the he started to speak again, calmer and softer this time. 'Cla… You said you wanted to go to Disney,' he murmured softly against my neck. 'If I was alive… I would… take you everywhere.'

And that was show Ciel did magic. From kid to men in just a few seconds. I actually felt my heart race as he said that and I felt my cheeks burning up.

'He never lets me touch him when he has a nightmare,' someone beside the bed said and I wasn't surprised to see Sebastian standing there.

However, I was surprised by the expression on his face. It wasn't heartbroken, it wasn't really sad. It wasn't angry. He looked like he was defeated. Like he'd lost. Like there was nothing he could do to regain the things he'd lost.

But maybe it was just an illusion, because the next second, Sebastian was gone. And Ciel was talking again. 'I would do anything… but… I'm already dead.'

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><p>XxX<p>

_POV change_

Ciel woke up in a rather confusing position. His arms were around Clarissa's waist, who was lying next to him, and her arms were wrapped around his neck. Very confusing indeed. What had happened? Why couldn't he remember.

Then he remembered he had a nightmare that night. But usually Sebastian comes to wake him almost immediately, so why was _she _here?

He blushed and cursed softly. She really did make things way too complicated. But then he sighed and touched her hair with one of his hands, while still holding her waist with the other. He put his face back where it was when he woke up, in her neck, breathing her scent and her hair tickling his face. 'What am I going to do with you?' he whispered into her ear, more asking himself than anyone else.

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><p>XxX<p>

When I woke up Ciel was already gone. Of course he was. And he probably wasn't happy about the fact that I infiltrated his bed last night.

'Good morning,' I said shyly as I walked into the 'living room'-area of this gigantic suite. As I had expected, Ciel was sitting there with Sebastian pouring tea for him.

'Good morning,' Ciel and Sebastian said at the same time, which resulted in the two looking at each other in a competitive way.

I rolled my eyes. Childish. Then I walked forward and sat down in the other chair at the breakfast table. I didn't even consider the fact that I was still wearing my pyjamas, which were a bit too sexy for the breakfast table (really short pyjama shorts and a tank top that showed a bit too much), but then I realised that both the boys standing (or sitting, in Ciel's case) in this very room had already seen it, so it didn't really matter. 'So, what's on the schedule today?'

'What _isn't_ on the schedule is creeping into my room at night,' Ciel said coldly, looking at his tea instead of at the person he was talking to. 'Is that clear?'

Oops. 'Yes, ma'am. Though I was only trying to he—'

Ciel interrupted me, clearly not caring about what my intentions had been at all. 'The Queen will visit the Eifel Tower this afternoon. We will go and visit her. I want to catch up with her and maybe Sebastian can get Ash away from her so he can… end things.'

I shivered. This really was it, wasn't it? Soon it would all be… over.

As Sebastian poured a cup of tea for me I took a deep breath and said: 'Ciel, let's do something fun today. Go to the Champse Lysee, or to that church… the Sacre Coeur. Or that other one; the Notre Dame! Or we could go to—' I couldn't get the word 'Disneyland' out of my mouth because of what happened yesterday night, so I didn't suggest anything else.

Ciel waited a while before answered and when he did, he did so very slowly, almost as if he was trying to convince me with the tone of his voice alone. 'I would love to, but my schedule for the day is way too busy. You can go ahead and do what you want, just make arrangements with Sebastian as to where he has to drop and pick you off.'

Wow. That was strange. Would Ciel really let one of his pawns move freely? Maybe he was sick. Or maybe he bumped his head. Or maybe Sebastian had slipped some alcohol into Ciel's tea.

Even though that possibility was quite small, I suddenly didn't feel like drinking tea anymore.

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><p>XxX<p>

Ciel locked himself up in his room soon after breakfast and I took a shower and got dressed. I would talk with Sebastian about my plans today, but I probably would just stay here. Exploring Paris isn't fun all by yourself, after all.

I got out of the bathroom wearing a green sundress, knowing that that probably was way too cold, but also knowing that Finnian had packed my things, so it wasn't surprising that he'd brought only clothes that weren't really appropriate for the time of the year. Seriously, why did he pack a sundress and a bikini if he was also going to pack three thick hoodies? I wasn't going to Alaska, nor was I going to Africa!

'Are you done, miss Lane?' Sebastian asked as I walked out of the bathroom into the living room. He was standing against the wall like a creeper. Really not that surprising.

I sighed. 'You know you can stop calling me that, right? You already call me 'Clarissa' sometimes. Stop being so formal.'

Sebastian chuckled. 'I'm sorry, madam.' Then he frowned. 'I actually have a question about that. Why do you have your – fake – mother's surname?'

I shrugged. 'Never cared enough to ask anyone. Why? Does it bother you?' I asked as I took one of the hoodies and put it on to protect myself from freezing to death.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. 'How many times do I have to tell you that the cold won't bother you if you stop believing it will?'

'You can tell me as many times as you like, it doesn't mean I'll believe you,' I said as I put the suitcase back under the couch that it had been hiding away under. Then I started to grab my hair to make a ponytail, since I really did not enjoy wet hair in my face. But I also totally sucked at making ponytails, so it just ended up in me standing there very unsexy and annoyed.

Which only amused the demon in the room. 'Let me,' he said as he walked up to me slowly, a predator closing in on his prey.

But hey, I'm not stupid. I knew that Sebastian would be able to make a perfect ponytail so I let him. I would just break his wrists if he tried anything else.

But he didn't. I wasn't sure why. But he just made the ponytail and let me go immediately, which not only confused but also scared me.

I turned around to look at the demon and lay my hand on his underarm. 'Is there something wrong?' I asked him frowning.

The look in his eyes wasn't only confusing, but also alarming. I rarely saw his eyes glow like this. 'No, there is not,' he said, but even though Sebastian was a perfect liar it sounded like a lie.

'Tell me what you're thinking,' I said, and for some reason it sounded like I was begging him to tell me. Which I wasn't… right?

A smile that wasn't happy, but threatening appeared on his face. 'That cruel, miss Lane,' he purred. 'Asking me what I'm thinking while keeping your own thoughts to yourself. That's cruel.' He grabbed the hand that was laying on his arm and his fingers curled around my wrist as he brought my hand to his mouth to kiss it. 'Now if we could exchange some thoughts and feelings, it would be fair.'

I knew what he wanted, he didn't have to spell it out. 'You want to feed off of my emotions again,' I said monotone.

'Yes, and I do believe I understand why I could in the beginning, but suddenly couldn't anymore. Your powers were slowly getting stronger.' He pressed his lips against my wrist now, feeling my pulse against his lips. A slow smile played on his lips.

And again this seemed strange. He had acted like this before, sure, but now he was touching me like every touch would be his last. Like every word we spoke to each other would be the last. It was confusing and it saddened me in a way that even I could not understand.

'Okay,' I agreed softly. 'But only if you tell me your true feeling as well.'

'Hmm,' was the only thing he said, but it sounded like he was agreeing. Then he leaned forward and put his hands on my shoulders, bringing his face to my ear. 'I don't like sharing,' he whispered, so soft that no one but me would be able to hear it. 'Whether it is my food, my prey or my… other interests, I do not share. I don't want to share my master with you and I don't want to share you with my master.' He sighed in my ear. 'It's frustrating.'

I knew this wasn't the only thing on his mind, but I also felt my heart wanting to fly away when I heard those words. It almost sounded like jealousy. 'Then don't,' I said softly and that seemed to be the moment when Sebastian decided to attack.

But he didn't really attack. He just kissed my cheek and his thumbs went up and down over my collar-bone, hypnotising me into letting him in.

It was easier this time, because I sort of knew what to do. I felt the walls around me better and knew how to pull them up, but I only pulled up one wall. Sebastian wasn't allowed to feel everything that I felt and he also wasn't allowed to take everything. I have him now, I gave him this, but I wouldn't give him anything else.

A gasp from the other side of the room startled me and I pushed Sebastian away from me, but I already knew it was too late.

Ciel was standing there, in the living room, looking at us as if he'd just seen a ghost.

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><p>XxX<p>

Normally Ciel would've just left the room and ignored that he ever saw that, but now he did something that even I didn't expect.

'Sebastian, this is an order, leave the hotel right now. Come back when I call you,' Ciel said with a strange, intense tone in his voice.

Sebastian glanced over at me before closing his eyes and bowing. 'Yes, my Lord.'

And he was gone.

Then Ciel sighed and walked up to me slowly, standing still about two steps away from me. He crossed his arms. 'Why?' he asked.

Which was a very confusing question. 'Why, what?' I asked, not sure what he was asking.

'Why you too? You didn't you see right through the demon's tricks? Why _even _you?' he sounded like he was a teacher, scolding me because I had a bad grade like everyone else. But it was worse because this teacher had expected something different from me.

'It's not that,' I said slowly, having no idea what I was going to say. 'It's not like that at all. He just kind of… forces me into it… I guess?'

Ciel kept looking at me angry until something changed his mind, because he sighed again and sat down on the couch. 'Never mind. It's not like I couldn't have known.'

I looked at Ciel and the way he looked reminded me of the way Sebastian had looked last night. Defeated. I really needed the ability to read minds, why wasn't that one of my hybrid-powers?

'I did something wrong, didn't I?' I said slowly after what felt like hours.

Ciel buried his face in his hands. 'No, no you didn't,' but he sounded so tired that I still felt like I did.

And here's another problem I had. I was horrible at handling situations such as this. So I just sat down next to him and poked his upper arm. 'Can I do something to make you less angry?' I asked in a teasing sort of way.

Now he sighed an annoyed sigh and he pulled his hands from his face. 'I'm not angr—' He stopped when he looked into my eyes. Maybe I was sitting a bit too close to him. Maybe I had something on my face. I wasn't sure what it was, but Ciel stared at me like I'd just turned blue.

'What is it?' I asked. For some reason, I had whispered it. Like this moment would break if I was too loud. Like a butterfly it would fly away and the moment would be lost forever.

Ciel looked at me with a strange, calculating look and then reached out with his hand. Slowly, as if _I _was the butterfly that could fly away any moment now. Then his fingers touched my cheek and his face immediately soften.

That was another magic trick Ciel had on his sleeve. He usually had the same expression, or expression that looked alike, but when his expression _did _change, it was magical. Like the theatre of his face finally opened up and let all the emotions through.

Just like the time before I couldn't help but be drawn in by the beauty of his face and eyes and the warmth of his pale – yet human – fingers. _Touching a human was different than touching a demon_, I realised. _One feels like fire and passion. The other feels like light and magic._

Ciel gave me all the time I needed. I could've stopped him if I wanted to. I could've ended it before it started. I could've prevented this situation from being any more confusing than it already was. But maybe I couldn't. Maybe I was born to cause trouble for everyone around me. An awful lot of trouble.

Of maybe I just wanted to and I was making up excuses.

Ciel pressed his lips against mine in a clumsy yet kind sort of way. Sebastian never touched me like I was precious to him, not really. And when he did it was always short and I always believed that I'd dreamed it afterwards. But this clearly wasn't a dream, because Ciel was still here, breathing and alive. And even though I had been kissed many times before, this one felt the most alive.

Sebastian was passion and fire, but also indifference and ice. Kissing him was burning hot and freezing cold at the same time.

Kissing Ciel was nothing like that. It was warm, but just like the moment fragile like a butterfly. But I again wasn't sure why he'd kissed me. Maybe that was my life. Being kissed or seduced by people who didn't love me. Maybe Drossel did love me, but he was dead now to that didn't really matter anymore.

Then I remembered – at the worst of all times – Sebastian's words from just a moment ago. _I don't want to share my master with you and I don't want to share you with my master._

I completely froze. And the moment I did, Ciel pulled away immediately, always being the kind boy that he did not think he was.

Which stupidly enough made me laugh, but it did sound nervous and kind of breathless.

Ciel didn't blush nor look away from my face, but he did look kind of guilty. 'I'm sorry,' he muttered before standing up.

He started to leave the room, but before he did I opened my mouth. 'You don't have to apologize for something neither you or I do regret, Ciel.'

But the horrible truth was that I wasn't sure if I regretted it or not.

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of the chapter! It's shorter than I thought it would be. Hm. Anyhow, we're picking the plot up again! And we're also reaching the end. Kinda. We still have a long way to go. I think. Yeah, yeah we do. Sorry, now I'm tired so I'm not really making sense anymore.**

**Guest: Thanks! But I do think it will become boring if it just keeps on going and going and going and going… XD**

**Jacelover103: You can fangirl all you want XD, I love fangirling, it's like the only hobby I have XD. And if I have to choose ****_one _****boy from the Mortal Instruments I would choose… Argh, that's difficult! I think Simon, because he's Simon and Simon is awesome. But Jace is also awesome. But I think I'm going to go with Simon, though maybe tomorrow my answer will be completely different XD But thanks! **

**alexissparrowxu: Well, here you go ;) I actually knew that they were going to at least share one more kiss, so when I read that I was like 'yay, I'm going to make someone happy today!' And thank you so much!**

**Silent Ninja 93: Glad I could make your day! :D**

**Aqua Lilly: Ha ha, I don't think I would mind that much…**

**SilverMoonFaerie: Thank you, I loved writing that XD Hmm… She should do that more often…**

**KasumiAkemi: Yes, it is! But I understand that it's confusing, because I try to keep everyone as close to their characters as possible and stuff. And because of the Ciel-drama as well. But yes, this is SebastianxOC**

**promocat: true. Unless Clarissa decides to go and decide things for him. Which he obviously won't like very much…**

**trepidon: ah, I will try to remember that! English can be difficult :S, sorry if I confuse you!**

**SnowSongX347: Wow, thank you! There were so many compliments! I think I'm going to explode (in a good way) :D It can be that I never mention her hair colour, which is awful and stupid of me! But her hair is a light shade of brown, I have said it in the beginning of the chapter as well. Ha ha, I wish I could draw so I could draw her, but I totally suck XD**

**Thanks everyone for the amazing reviews! It makes sitting behind my laptop for a few hours to finish a c****hapter totally worth it!**

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><p>XxX<p> 


	54. Chapter 54

**Hey, everyone! I have good news and bad news… the good news: update! Yay! Bad news… it will probably be the last one for this week. So the next update will be around the 3th of April. This is thanks to school, but also to my insomnia, which has been acting uo lately more than usual, so I'm very sorry, but I just don't have time :( **

**Anyhow, enjoy chapter and see you soon!**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 54**

When it was time for us to leave, I noticed that Ciel hadn't called Sebastian back. 'Don't we… need Sebastian?'

I wasn't exactly sure why, but that question made Ciel even more annoyed than he already was. 'No, we don't. We can find the Eifel Tower with our own effort. I'll call him when I need him.' Then he clenched his teeth. 'And right now, I honestly do _not._' Then he sighed as he looked at the buttons of his coat. Then he looked at me. 'Could you maybe…?'

I rolled my eyes. _Doesn't need Sebastian, huh? _'Sure,' I said with a sigh.

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><p>XxX<p>

Something I hated more than arriving uninvited, was arriving with the intention to arrive uninvited, but then figure out they'd been expecting you all along.

When me and Ciel reached the Eifel Tower, some guards immediately welcomed us and pointed us to the elevator where the Queen was sitting in, waiting for our arrival. Ciel seemed awfully calm, but I didn't trust this kind of situation at all. An elevator could easily fall down. This could easily be a trick. A trick to get Ciel killed. Or me. Or maybe both.

Geez, Ciel should just get over his childish silliness and call Sebastian to his side.

Ciel pulled me with him to the elevator, almost as if he saw the protest I felt in my eyes. He gave me a stern look that seemed to tell me that I shouldn't say a thing and just follow him. Which I did, because even though I was stronger than he was, I was way more obedient than him.

'Goodness gracious, there you are,' a voice said as we entered the elevator and the door closed.

She was standing at the other side of the small elevator, her face still covered with her black veil and from up-close you could see how tiny she was. She was even shorter than Ciel and me.

'Your Majesty!' Ciel said and I was actually surprised at how confused he sounded. What did he expect when he entered the elevator?

'Ciel,' she said and now that she spoke again, I noticed that she didn't sound old. Why didn't see sound old? 'It's been a long time.'

Then the elevator started to move and out of shock I grabbed Ciel's upper arm and in reaction to that action, Ciel grabbed my hand and squeezed kindly, almost as if he was trying to give me strength. But I had to admit that not being with Sebastian made me feel unsafe. I _needed _to know Sebastian was near, to help Ciel when he needed help. To _save _Ciel when he needed saving. To save _me _when I needed saving.

We were all silent while the elevator brought us up. Then, suddenly, the Queen looked out of the window and said: 'Look at the view from up here. Europe is in the verge of change. However… There's a stain over there.'

I looked out of the window now, confused. Ciel did the same, but the look on his face told me that he didn't see the 'stain' Her Majesty was talking about either.

But she wasn't done talking yet. 'There's stagnation over there.' And then she turned her head to Ciel and lifted her finger to point at him. 'There's uncleanliness right here.'

I heard Ciel gasp and now _I_ was the one squeezing _his_ hand, giving _him_ strength.

'The entire slate must be wiped clean,' the Queen than said, sounding like a lunatic. 'There can be no creation without destruction. In order for the new world to be pure, I cleansed the house that has taken on all that is negative in our nation…'

_Don't say it, don't say it. _Please, _don't say it._

'…the house of Phantomhive,' she finished and I closed my eyes for just a second. _She did say it._

Ciel completely froze as he realised that the Queen he'd served all those years was the one he was trying to find. The one he was trying to punish. The one who he'd given away his soul for.

Then we reached the final destination of the elevator, which wasn't the highest point. The Queen got out of the elevator smoothly and started to walk up the stairs and Ciel followed her, without trying to do anything to do, which surprised me. I just followed him and tried to play deaf as the Queen started to sing that horrible song. '_London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady._'

We reached the top as the Queen was still humming the song, sounding strangely at peace. Why did she seem so… happy? Like she saw the light? I was starting to think like the Queen really was a crazy lady.

Ciel waited until we'd reached the top before he finally opened his mouth. 'May I ask you something?' he asked.

The Queen turned around slowly, but we were still unable to see her face. 'What is it?' she asked him, allowing him to ask the question without saying she'll answer it.

'You didn't just kill them,' Ciel said, surprisingly calm. Geez, Ciel was full of surprises today. 'You made it beastly. Why?'

'Mind your language, Ciel,' the Queen said, sounding like a mother all of the sudden. 'I cleansed them.'

Then Ciel finally lost his calm. 'That's what you call "cleansing"?!' he shouted. 'Demeaning the dead?!'

'Demeaning?' the Queen repeated slowly, sounding confused.

'That's right!' Ciel shouted back, looking really upset now. I still held onto his hand, but even though I was touching him here and now, he felt farther away than ever.

'Demeaning…?' the repeated again, almost as if she didn't understand the meaning of the word. 'I merely wanted to pay what tribute I could to the Phantomhives after they showed me such loyalty…' she then said sounding truly upset as she covered her face with her hands, not that that was necessary considering the veil was already covering her face.

'What?!' Ciel said, confused. I had decided that I would stay out of this, since this had nothing to with me, but the more upset Ciel got, the harder it got for me to stay out of it.

Then the wind started to blow harder, and on top of the Eifel Tower, it was even worse. Ciel had to hold onto his head and I held onto my scarf, but it was too late for the Queen's veil. The wind had already taken it and it exposed her face.

The face of a ten-year old, that is.

Now Ciel and I were both completely lost, but then I felt something strange, a chill down my spine. And then a laugh behind us told me that there was someone behind us.

Me and Ciel both turned around at the same time, facing the man that was standing on there, leaning against the side as if he wasn't afraid of falling.

Ash.

'Surprised?' he asked. 'She's full of youth, isn't she?'

'Ash!' Ciel said, as if that needed confirming.

Ash started to move towards the Queen as he slowly explained, in a way a teacher would explain history. But this wasn't just a school subject. This was insanity. 'The loss of her beloved husband ended Her Majesty's days of happiness. In her grief over his death, she once tried to end her own life. I joined his body with her own, so that she might live with the man she loved forever.'

I knew I was pulling a disgusted face, but I couldn't stop myself. It sounded disgusting and wrong. Everything Ash said sounded disgusting and wrong. Was that what Ciel had meant when he said 'beastly'?

'I can tell that my husband is pleased with my work,' the Queen said, but now that I saw her face, she really was just a child, which made her words all the more creepy. 'His body twinges inside me. Twinge… Twinge… It's the throbbing of life. The joy of truly becoming one with the one you love… I felt that if I gave the Phantomhives that same joy, it would not be a ghastly death at all.'

Now Ciel's mouth was hanging open and I put my free hand over my mouth to hide my face, because I truly felt like I was about to throw up.

Ash decided that the Queen had done enough talking now and took over again. 'The Queen and her husband firmly intend to guide England to a world of perfect light. That aim has purged them of their own impurities, transforming Her Majesty into the chaste girl you see before you, for youth is the symbol of purity. What a lofty aim! She is a worthy master for an angel,' he said, almost as if he was in love with the Queen.

'A _fallen_ angel!' I said, hating myself the moment I'd said it.

'Ash,' the Queen said before anyone could react to my words. 'At least join Ciel with the one he loves before the falls to your blade.'

Ciel and I both froze, both not sure who she meant.

'Ash's work is a thing of beauty,' she reassured Ciel. 'Once you've become one with the one you love, your death will be a peaceful one. And Ash's blade is also a thing of beauty.'

'I shall draw my sword against the beauty of thy wisdom,' Ash said, sounding as if he was quoting the Bible. 'And I shall punish the beast within thee. May there be a heaven to greet thee, Ciel Phantomhive. You and the one you're bound to.' Then he looked at me. 'I can see you're loved by so many, but ah, only impure creatures you seem to attract. You shall fall to my blade first.'

Then it hit me. The Queen wanted to make Ciel one with the one he loved.

_She meant me._

I didn't have time to react, Ash was running towards me with his sword in his hands, clearly having the intention to cut me to pieces so he could unite my body with Ciel's. Ugh, that just sounded gross.

And then Sebastian was there, pulling me and Ciel away from Ash before he could cause any damage and for some reason or another, I'd known he'd turned up. There hadn't been any fear at all. I knew he was going to save me.

Ha! How arrogant was that?

'That precious sword of yours is meaningless if you can't land a blow,' Sebastian mentioned dryly as he put me and Ciel back on the ground at a safe distance from Ash. Then he spoke to Ciel, but kept looking at Ash. 'This may be the end, my young master,' he said and he sounded truly hungry. Only once had I heard him talk like that before, back at Noah's Arc Circus. 'Your orders?'

Then I noticed that I was somehow still holding Ciel's hand, because he squeezed mine as if he had the intention to break every bone in my hand as he said: 'Kill Ash.'

'Will that be all, my lord?' Sebastian asked and even though his back was turned to us, I knew he was smiling that amused smile of his. He just found all of this _amusing._

Ciel squeezed even harder, but I didn't say anything even though it kind of hurt. Hybrid or not, this human could apparently still hurt me. Or was it because I believed he could hurt me? Dammit! 'Kill the Queen!'

'Ciel!' the Queen screamed, sounding shocked. Geez, that woman really was crazy. Why was she surprised?

'Very good,' Sebastian said, accepting the order he'd been given.

He attacked the Queen first, but Ash defended her with all his might. So Sebastian decided that he should just get rid of Ash first and started to attack him, while jumping in the air, almost like they were flying without their wings.

The Queen looked at them in agony. 'How dreadful!' she said, clearly still not getting a grip. 'Ciel, please, stop him! Ciel!'

Okay, yes, this lady clearly needed to get a clue. And a brain.

Ciel completely ignored her, but I started to noticed that the Eifel Tower wasn't made for an angel and a demon to fight on. Pieces started to break off and I realised that this would cause in accidents that I didn't want to happen. Deaths I didn't want to see.

'Ciel, they're breaking it,' I said to him. 'People will die if the Eifel Tower comes down!'

And Ciel, always being way kinder than he thought he was, understood. He looked down and immediately opened his mouth as he saw all the people standing there. Tourists, guides, poor people trying to sell crappy toys to the tourists. So many victims that would be made.

'Sebastian, stop!' he screamed, letting go of my hand as he ran as close to the fight as possible.

Sebastian landed close by him, but sounded quite pissed off when he asked: 'Why?' That was one of the first times Sebastian hadn't spoken with two words.

'We're attracting attention and making unnecessary victims,' Ciel explained, looking at me while saying that.

'Why should be bother about them, my lord? They're only humans,' Sebastian said and I could hear that disgusted tone in his voice again, that tone he still had when he talked about humans.

And somehow I knew that Sebastian had forgotten – just for a moment – that Ciel was a human, too. 'No! We're withdrawing!' Ciel ordered.

Then Sebastian turned around slowly and I could see his face. He looked shocked, perplexed.

But most of all, not happy.

Not happy at all.

Those few seconds of shock were enough for Ash and the Queen to get away as Ash spread his angelic wings and lifted the Queen, carrying her away from the Eifel Tower and most importantly, from us.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

It was in the taxi back to our hotel when I actually got worried. Sebastian's face had been emotionless for a while now, but the worst part was his eyes. They didn't look like his eyes. They looked scary.

Ciel looked out of the window so didn't notice the strange, emotionless expression on his butler's face.

'Why did you stop me?' Sebastian asked.

'I told you,' Ciel said slowly, still looking out of the window. 'We would have attracted too much attention and made too much unnecessary victims. That's all.'

'I see,' Sebastian answered slowly, clearly not convinced.

Ciel finally turned to face him, but he didn't notice Sebastian's strange expression nor his behaviour. Maybe that was because Sebastian had closed his eyes now. 'What are you trying to say?!' Ciel asked insulted.

Sebastian slowly opened his eyes again and even though I was sitting in front of him and he looked straight at me, it was like he also looked straight through me. 'You told me that what you wanted was vengeance against those who dragged you into hell.'

Ciel looked down, avoiding eye contact again.

'Did the vow you swore that day mean nothing?' Sebastian finally asked. 'I thought you had no doubts that day. Will you still swear loyalty to the Queen, even after learning the truth?'

I didn't understand why Sebastian was having this conversation now, when I was sitting here. Maybe because Ciel couldn't escape. He wouldn't survive a jump out of the taxi. Me and Sebastian probably would, though.

Ciel still refused to look at me or Sebastian as he looked down at the floor of the taxi and said: 'I never felt any loyalty for her to begin with. I just acted as the head of the Phantomhives.'

Then Sebastian finally looked at me, as if he was seeing me now. 'So… is there something that changed your mind about the value of your soul, then?'

I froze, suddenly understood. I wasn't sure how. Maybe it was reaper of angel instinct or whatever, but I understood. _The devil can break the deal._

That seemed to make Ciel really angry, but more 'in denial'-angry than 'what the fuck are you saying?'-angry. 'What would I want with my soul?! You're being tedious. What do you—'

Then – finally – Ciel looked at Sebastian, really _looked _at him and saw what was in his eyes. What was _wrong _with those eyes. He froze midsentence and I saw a hint of fear on Ciel's face as his predator looked at him with that look.

Then Sebastian looked away, to somewhere above my head. 'You seem tired, my lord,' he then said, surprising both me and Ciel. 'Please, return to the hotel and rest.' Then he looked out of the window. 'What a foul capital,' he murmured, too soft for Ciel to hear.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

That evening Sebastian put Ciel to bed as usual. I waited until I heard the door close before I got off of the couch and walked towards the hallway. 'You're leaving, aren't you?' I asked Sebastian, who was standing in the hallway.

He looked quite surprised, which humoured me. 'Why?' he asked, again a one-word question.

'You think he ordered you to stop because he values his soul, don't you?' I asked.

Sebastian walked up to me and stood still right in front of me, looking at me with the strange same expression he had on his face in the taxi.

Then I realised what it was.

_Anger_.

I had never – ever – seen Sebastian truly angry. That's why this confused me. I had never seen Sebastian truly angry before.

'No,' Sebastian said loud and clear. 'I think he ordered me to stop because he values _you_.' He sounded as if that disgusted him.

It felt like I'd just been punched in the face. What was I supposed to say to that? It _had _been sort of my fault Ciel stopped him, hadn't it? _I _told Ciel about the people down below…

'The contract isn't fair, is it?' I said softly, staring at the Phantomhive crest Sebastian had pinned on his jacket. 'If Ciel breaks it, you get his soul. If he doesn't, you get his soul. The only way he can be rescued is if you let him go or if you are killed.' I felt tears in my eyes as I realised that only the last one was an option. Sebastian would never let Ciel go without a fight. 'Which means that I would have to kill you to save him,' I said, tears slowly dripping from my eyes. 'But I can't kill you!' I grabbed his jacket and pulled him towards me, burying my face into the fabric of his shirt. 'I can't! I… I love you… Dammit, Sebastian, I love you!' I said it like I was spitting out 'I hate you'. Only that wasn't what I was saying. 'I love you so please… don't force me to hate you.'

Very, very slowly, Sebastian put his hand on top of my head and left it there. Then he said. 'I won't force you. But I'm still a demon, Clarissa. If you hate what I am, then I hate me.' Then he laid a hand on my shoulder and the other one went down, too, holding my head and shoulder in a very weird position. 'But I truly am sorry about this,' he told me before grabbing my chin and pulling my head in an unnatural position, breaking my neck in the process.

Maybe it was an illusion before dying, but I thought I saw Sebastian hovering over me as I lay on the ground dead. I could hear his voice, more cynical than I ever heard. 'Oh, and by the way, I also really love you, my dear.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**La la, chapter over! I'm mean, I know. Don't hate me!**

**hotbibl: Victory for team human! I like the sound of that ;) This chapter wasn't so much a victory for team human, though. Actually, it wasn't a victory for anyone. Maybe for Sebastian, but I doubt he's happy.**

**Jacelover103: Yeah, sorry about not updating, but time is a bit of an issue at the moment :/**

**Aqua Lilly: I think Sebastian just choose for her by snapping her neck… Awkward…**

**promocat: Jup! Demons are so possessive, I doubt anyone would be able to handle one XD**

**trepidon: thanks! Wish I could update MOORREEEE! But anyhow, still insomnia, so yeah… problems everywhere.**

**SnowSongX347****: Thank you so much! But as I said before, I won't do season 2, for various reasons, but mostly because the plot I have now won't allow anything like the stuff that happens in season 2 to happen. Also, Ciel can't become a demon, I like him way too much as the human he is ;)**


	55. Chapter 55

**I know many of you found the end of the last chapter confusing. But that's supposed to be confusing. Anyhow, he said 'I love you' in a cynical way, so we can't be quite sure yet if he was serious or not. And no, a hybrid wouldn't die of having her neck broken, don't worry.**

**And it's (almost) Easter! So that means sitting inside the church and visiting family. Which isn't something I enjoy all that much. No, wait, I enjoy church as long as my friends are there. But they won't be there every day. So yeah. That sucks.**

**So, don't hate me, but again, this will (probably) be the last update for a while. Maybe it won't be… Hmm… Oh, and from the 13****th**** of April 'till the 18****th**** I have high school internship, so yeah, work, work, work instead of update, update, update, but I'll try to write, I promise. And also, I'm going to an anime convention the 11****th**** of April, so no updates then!**

**And wow, I'm talking way too much again. Anyhow, enjoy the chapter!**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji. If I did, I would probably be living in Japan right now. Aaah, that would be wonderful. Also, typos are still being made because I'm the devil.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 55**

'Is she awake yet?'

Wait, I recognized that voice.

'No, she's not.' Another voice I knew. Will?

'She's not… dead… is she?' a third voice asked. Was that Junior?

'Of course not. Not even a reaper in training dies from such a thing,' William answered. 'That monster did this with the intention to leave without too much problems. He didn't mean to harm her. He wanted her out of the way, but he cared too much to kill her. Even from my standpoint, if he wanted to leave without her trying to stop him, this was one of the kindest solutions he could've come up with.'

The first voice – Grell, made a whiny noise. 'Oh, Sebastian! Why are you so cruel to me, yet so sweet to her! Oh, the agony!'

'Sweet to her? He broke her freaking neck!' Junior said. 'Am I the only one who thinks this is cruel?'

'Well, I do believe he's right, though,' William said. 'Like I just said, she's a threat – a nuisance – to him, we all know that. And he had her here, on the ground, ready to be killed. We would've been too late to save her and we wouldn't be allowed to go after him because of the laws. The only reason for him not to kill her when he had the chance is if she at least meant something to him.'

'That confuses the whole situation, doesn't it?' Junior asked his elderly.

'Of course! This sounds like a love-triangle!' Grell said dramatically. 'Me, Sebastian and the girl! The drama!'

Dammit! Why wasn't I able to wake up? This conversation was starting to get on my nerves.

'You mean a love-square,' Junior added. 'I mean, I've only been shadowing the girl for a few days, but the way that boy looks at her… That's some serious crush right there.'

'I have a serious cru—'

'Oh, shut up, Grell Suthcliffe,' Will said annoyed. 'And be happy that I at least took you with me today.'

'Yes, yes, very happy. But my Sebastian is already gone!' he shouted.

I twitched. _His _Sebastian?

'Ah, you see? Fit as a fiddle,' William said when he saw how I twitched.

Then I noticed that I wasn't laying on the ground anymore. Was I laying on the couch? Did they move me there? How kind of them. I didn't think Will had carried me to the couch, though, since I 'even smelled like _him'_.

After a short silence, Junior opened his mouth again. 'She's going to do what I think she's going to do, isn't she?'

'I believe so, too,' Will said, immediately understanding what Junior was talking about. 'She loves the boy too much to just watch him get eaten by the beast. But she loves the beast too much to kill it.'

'I know it's sad, but I somehow also think it's cool. Like a really messed up version of Beauty and the Beast,' Junior said slowly.

'Ah, and I am the Beauty, of course!' Grell said arrogantly.

'Of course you're not,' Will and Junior said simultaneously.

Then Will sighed. 'We've tried. We have no reason to stop her if it is what she chooses. If she wishes to throw away the life she's been giving, then she should go ahead and do it. I won't stop her and you won't either. We simply don't have the right to.'

'But—' Junior started, but he stopped, knowing that his elder was right. Of course he was right. 'But… what will the council say?'

Will sighed again and although my eyes were still closed, I knew he was readjusting his glasses. He was always readjusting his glasses. 'I think they will agree with me. Saving someone who doesn't want to be saved is useless.' I knew he was looking at me when he said that. He sighed again. 'If only she knew.'

I twitched again and this time I managed to move my fingers. But when I finally managed to open my eyes, the three reaper were already gone.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I was in the bathroom that morning, just observing my neck and wondering how the hell it got healed in less than a few hours when Ciel – still in his pyjamas even though it was pretty late, even for his schedule – barged in and ran towards the mirror, inspecting his eye as if he was afraid it would be gone.

We both noticed at the same time that, even though the seal in his eye was still there, the mark wasn't glowing anymore, as if it had lost its power, or at least some of it. I wasn't surprised. Ciel, however, was.

'Sebastian!' he screamed, now in serious panic.

I sighed while Ciel ran out of the bathroom into the living room, still shouting his butler's name like a kid looking for his mom in the mall.

I stood in the doorway and crossed my arms. 'He's gone, Ciel,' I said calmly.

'Gone? Nonsense!' Ciel said, he rushed over to the phone and called room service. 'Hello, I'm Phantomhive, room 702. Do you know where my man went?' There was a silence in the room while Ciel waited for the employer to respond, which I could not hear. Then he smacked the phone back on its place and cursed. 'Where have you gone, you bloody idiot?!'

I sighed again and walked up to Ciel, but Ciel kept moving around. He was already back in his bedroom now. I didn't even bother to go after him. I just stood there, waiting until he came back. Which he of course did after a while. 'How did you know he was gone?'

'Well, he kind of broke my neck to keep me from stopping him from leaving.' Wow, that sentence sounded confusing. I wasn't even sure if it was completely correct or not. Oh well.

'What do you mean?' Ciel asked, immediately not trusting the situation. 'If he broke your neck, then why are you—'

I pointed at myself. 'Hybrid, remember?'

Ciel's eyes widen for a moment, before calming down. 'Ah. Of course.' But he sounded like he truly had forgotten all about that.

XxX

* * *

><p>'The mark wasn't gone,' Ciel said while we were drinking tea on the couch, he still in his pyjamas because he didn't have a butler to dress him up now. Or maybe he just felt comfortable, I wasn't sure. 'But, yesterday evening, he told me to "forget everything and have pleasant dreams". But Sebastian would never wish for my pleasure. He enjoys my suffering way too much for that.' He took a sip. 'And "forget everything"?' He cursed softly. 'That was his farewell.' He sighed. 'We have to get back to London on our own.'<p>

I shrugged. That didn't sound like much of a problem. 'Sure.'

Ciel shook his head. 'You don't seem to get it. Sebastian always made arrangements. I don't know anything about my plane, or how to get permission to fly. I don't even know my pilot's phone number. We're stuck.'

I rolled my eyes. 'We can just buy regular tickets, right? You can always pick up that plane of yours later.'

Ciel shook his head again. 'Sebastian always took care of my credit cards, too.'

I rolled my eyes again. 'You really are useless without Sebastian, aren't you? Was there something that he didn't do?'

I was surprised that he didn't even look a little bit offended by that. 'I run de business on my own. He will never help me with my company.'

Okay, so maybe that was something. 'Don't you have an assistant back at the company, someone we could call?'

'I don't have any other assistants aside from Sebastian,' Ciel admitted. 'They would only betray me, in the end.'

I sighed. 'You're making this impossible. How are we going to pay for this hotel now?'

Ciel made a gesture with his hand, that seemed like he was waving or something. Not sure what it meant, but it looked posh and disdainful. 'I paid for three days already. So we have one day left to find out what we are supposed to do.' He frowned and I guessed he was hoping that Sebastian would be back by then. I also knew that he didn't give that much hope. 'Don't you have any money?' he asked.

Finally, he was asking the right questions. 'I do, as a matter of fact,' I answered, 'but I don't have enough to achieve much. I could probably treat you to one meal of your standards.' I frowned now. 'Or eight at _McDonalds_.'

Now Ciel gave me a disgusted look, which made me laugh. 'Anyhow, sitting here with your pj's on won't do you much good. Go get dressed, we'll figure out what to do. Worst case scenario would be that we walk back to London, but I don't think that'll be necessary.'

Ciel now looked at me mortified.

'What's wrong?' I asked, not trusting his look.

'Get dressed,' he said, as if that would be enough to explain the situation.

Which it strangely enough was. 'Oh,' I moaned. 'Oh, god.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

So I didn't help Ciel get dressed. He took a shower and did it himself, but I did manage to make it somewhat presentable afterwards. Seriously, could that kid not even button his shirt right?

After that we walked into town, not entirely sure what we were supposed to do. Because of the silence, my mind went to last night. I had told Sebastian I loved him. Not that he didn't know already, but somehow saying it out loud made it even worse. And he had said it back, but it had been so sarcastic and almost mean that I didn't believe he was speaking from the heart. Or maybe he had been, since he was – you know – a freaking _demon_.

Then I thought of Will's words from this morning – or maybe last night, I wasn't sure – and opened my mouth. 'Ciel… would you really hate me forever if I saved you?'

He looked at me with risen eyebrows, clearly thinking that this wasn't the right time to discuss this. 'You want to talk about that _now_?' he asked me.

I swallowed and nodded.

He sighed. 'I don't think I'll ever be able to hate you. But I will be angry at you.' He sighed again. 'Not that it matters now, Sebastian is gone.'

'Oh? So you don't have a death wish anymore?' I asked and I was surprised I was able to ask that so teasingly.

'Pfft, I never had a death wish to begin with,' Ciel said arrogantly. 'My goals were simply more important than my soul.'

I noticed that he was talking in past tense. '…and now? Do you still think that?'

He shrugged, but it wasn't convincing. 'I know what I need to do.' Then he frowned. 'Though I must admit it's tempting to die with the soul he craves.'

I swallowed again, not sure what to say about that. This really was a mess. And it didn't help that I still wasn't sure about Ciel's feelings for me. 'Do you…' I wasn't sure how to phrase it. I rather just didn't, but I had to know. 'Do you have a… thing for me?' Ugh, that sounded awful.

Ciel seemed to agree with that, because the face he pulled didn't look pretty. Then he stopped in his tracks and grabbed my arm. 'If you want to have this conversation right now… let's not do it here. Let's get inside, or back to the hotel. This way, we won't find a solution anyway.'

He actually sounded sincere and serious, which meant that there was something serious he needed to speak about. I think I could already guess the answer to my question, but I understood that he would want to talk about it. 'Okay. Let's get back to the hotel, then.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Ciel poured tea for me. That's a first. But I understood that he wanted to keep his manliness intact somehow. I wasn't sure how pouring tea would accomplish that, but hey, I wasn't going to distract him from a topic that I actually _did _want to talk about.

'If you ask me if I hate or love you, the answer is quite easy,' Ciel said as he handed me a cup. 'But if you ask me if I am in love with you or not, I wouldn't be able to give you an answer.'

I waited, but he didn't say anything else. 'And why not?' I asked when it was clear that he wasn't going to say anything else.

'Because I have forgotten what love feels like. Attachments, friends… girl… friends.' He blushed, but remained serious. 'To be completely honest with you, my theory was simply that I fancy you because you're the first attractive woman from around my age who is kind to me. Like I do not have a choice.'

'So… a crush, then?' I asked and I remembered that Sebastian had said something like that to me before.

The face he made looked like he didn't fancy the idea of 'a crush', but he said: 'You could call it that, yes.'

I wasn't sure how to feel about that. Should I be happy? Sad? Relieved? I honestly didn't know. 'I understand,' I said slowly. 'And I wish there was something more positive for me to say, but the only thing I can say now is that I'm already—'

'…in love with Sebastian,' Ciel finished my sentence. 'I know. I would be pretty damn stupid if I didn't.'

Well, what was I supposed to say to that? 'Oh.'

Ciel closed his eye for a second before opening it again. 'And even though I do not like saying it, I'll tell you in all honesty that I do believe he cares for you.' Then he frowned. 'In his own twisted way.'

That made me smile a little, but it was sad and forced. 'You didn't have to tell me that, Ciel, really, you didn't.'

'I know,' he said, his voice sounded thick. 'But I wanted to tell you.'

And somehow the tone in his voice told me that his feelings for me might be more than just a crush.

I looked down at the carpet, which was white and soft and reminded me of the white wings Ash had…

Oh.

_Oh!_

'Wings!' I said, way too loud, which resulted in Ciel almost dropping his cup of tea. 'Wings, Ciel! I have wings!'

He looked at me confused for a few seconds before understanding it. 'But you don't even know how to use them,' he said, not very hopeful.

I was full of hope, though. 'That's true, but I can learn! It should be instinct, right? And then I can just fly us home!' It sounded ridiculous and impossible, but I believed that that was kind of normal these days. At least for me.

Ciel still wasn't convinced, though. 'You want to fly back to England? You know how ridiculous that sounds, right?' he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes. 'Ridiculous doesn't even begin to cover it. But that doesn't mean that we cannot try. I mean, do you have a better idea?'

That seemed to be the right question, he looked defeated. 'No, I don't.' He sighed. 'Fine, but I won't let you carry me until I fully trust your ability to fly.' He cringed. 'God, that sounded weird.'

'Like I said, little Earl,' I said as I got up from my chair. I gave him a wink. 'That doesn't even begin to cover it.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**End of the chapter! This chapter isn't that great, in my opinion, it just seemed like a few pieces of dialogue smacked together, but hey, it had to happen, so yeah.**

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><p><strong>I-saw-it-first: Haha, I understand, I think everyone is confused! He broke her neck so that he could leave without her trying to stop him, so that's an answer. And your other question will be answered soon, so don't worry :)<strong>

**Jacelover103: Haha, I never even thought about that before, but I guess you're right! XD And of course I don't hate you, I just love to be evil (*insert evil laugh here*).**

**promocat: Nope, not the end! That ****_god_****, it would be an awful ending if this was it :'(**

**trepidon: yeah… kind of. But that's how they did it in the anime, so I didn't give it too much thought. And there was a point in the story where I didn't even know who I shipped her with XD**

**SnowSongX347: Of course I can clear it up! In this situation, cynical means a form or sarcasm, but more mean-spirited than that. And yeah, Sebastian surely has a strange way of showing her, but she was in his way and he didn't want to kill her, so breaking her neck was the solution. So, in strange twisted way, he was being kind. Hope I didn't confuse you too much :s**

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><p><strong>See you guys next chapter! XXX<strong>


	56. Chapter 56

**Ugh, I've been so busy! It isn't like I hate the stuff that I'm doing, I just don't like being busy. And I haven't written in English for so long, so I think I'll make many mistakes with my grammar and that sort of stuff, so sorry about that!**

**And… another OC will be introduced in chapter 57! I may think it's late, but this character will be in all the extra chapters as well, so I hope you will like him/her!**

**And I actually have nothing else to say. So enjoy!**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 56**

'I told you this was a bad idea.'

'Shut up!' I snapped, frowning.

'And I also told you that this wasn't such a great idea to try indoors,' he added.

'I haven't done anything!' I shouted frustrated. Geez, how was I supposed to know how wings worked?

'Exactly, that's the problem,' Ciel told me. We have shoved the furniture back to that I had more space inside the living room and he was sitting on the couch, arms and legs crossed and a look on his face that I hated so much that I wanted to peel his face of off his head.

'I'm trying! But this is like moving your third leg!' I whined. I could almost _hear _Sebastian talk as if he was right beside me. _'Even though you're so special, you're still so human. You believe you cannot fly, so you cannot fly.' _'Shut up.'

Ciel frowned. 'I didn't even say anything.'

'I wasn't talking to you,' I said, but then I realised that that must've sounded even stranger. _You believe you cannot fly, so you cannot fly. _Well, I _wanted _to believe that I could fly, wasn't that enough?

'Angela used your wings before, right?' Ciel asked after a while, clearly wanting to help me without knowing how to do so. 'Don't you remember that?'

I nodded, then shook my head. 'I do. And at the same time… I don't. I don't know how she did it. I don't remember what it felt like. I just… don't know.'

Ciel looked at me, clearly knowing that he would never be able to understand what I was going through right now. 'Well, it isn't like we have anything better to do, so figure out how to spread your wings and fly on your one phase.'

That sentence was so bizarre that I would never – ever – have expected Ciel – let alone anyone – to say such a strange thing. Well, Drossel would've said such a strange thing, but since he was already dead, he didn't count anymore.

Geez, that was a harsh thing to say. I really was turning into a member of the Queen's Guard Dog-team. Emotionless and not bothering to consider other people's feelings.

'Do you think that maybe… I won't be able to fly and we end up somewhere on the side of the road?' I asked after a short silence.

Now Ciel looked at me like I'd just turned into a cow with a blue fedora on its head. 'Of course not. We're still in the European Union and there are always people for when a child gets lost. We will be able to go back, I just don't like being stuck in Paris when Ash and the Queen could be anywhere.'

I frowned. The way he said it, it was clear that he was worrying about one more creature running loose. And not Mei-Rin, Baldroy and Finnian, that was for sure.

'You think they will do something to your company?' I asked him, shocked now.

'Even worse,' he said. 'I think they may do something to my house. And now that Sebastian's gone, I don't have anyone to prepare it.' As he said that, he sounded a bit lost, really helpless without his butler.

Then I realised that to Ciel, this must feel like he just lost another parent. Even if Sebastian was a demon and didn't even love Ciel (well, maybe he did, what do I know?), Ciel was used to him and to a certain degree attached to him. Even if he didn't care to admit it.

I walked up to Ciel and pulled him towards me, surprising him. Because he was sitting on the couch and I was standing, I had knelt down to pull him against me, but I had to admit that this position wasn't very comfortable.

'I will try flying for you,' I said softly, petting his hair like he was a cat. And well, Ciel really had really soft hair. I wish I could keep him as a pet. Err… maybe that was a bit weird. But I wish I could. Or as my little brother. If only he was my little brother.

But he wasn't.

I pulled him away from me and stood straight, willingly walking away and creating distance between us. Ciel looked at me with a look that was surprisingly cold, but I had seen this face before. It was his 'I pretend not to care while I actually care an awful lot'-face.

I felt a sad smile appearing on my face without even thinking about it. 'Always putting on a mask, huh?' I said softly, too soft for Ciel to hear.

Then, on the balcony, a cat appeared. And if I hadn't known better I could swear it was Sebastian's cat from back home, with red eyes and everything.

Frowning, I walked over to the balcony, ignoring Ciel as he asked annoyed what I was doing. The cat was sitting there, eyes fixed on me as if he knew me. Strange, this cat and the one back I London really looked alike. I reached towards the cat with my hand and it came to me like I was his owner, his friend. I petted the cat and it started to purr, but then it opened his eyes and looked at me like he was trying to tell me something.

And then he cat stepped back and fell of the balcony.

And without thinking, I jumped after it.

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><p>XxX<p>

'Clarissa!'

I blinked a few times, but didn't see much.

'Clarissa?' someone asked again, more hesitant now.

I blinked again and this time, I saw two faces. One was Ciel, looking not worried at all. And the other face was the face of Junior, looking at me smiling. 'Told you she was fine!' he said as soon as I looked at him.

I sat up slowly, only to see that I had been laying on the top of a building. 'Where are we—'

Junior shot up to give me some space while he said: 'Top of the hotel. Sorry for taking you here, I didn't want people to see you flying…'

'Flying?!' I screamed, immediately on my feet. 'Did I fly?! Why don't I remember?'

Junior now looked slightly guilty. 'Because I was a bit too late and you kinda… crashed into a building…?' He made it sound like a question.

I should have gotten some kind of reaction to that, but then I remembered the cat and forgot what he just said. 'The cat! Is the cat okay?'

Now both Junior and Ciel looked confused. 'Cat?' they both asked at the same time.

I was now walking up to the side of the roof, trying to see if a saw the cat laying dead somewhere. 'The cat I tried to save! He fell of the balcony.'

'Clarissa,' Ciel said slowly. 'There was no cat.'

That finally made me stop moving around. I turned around slowly, looking at the two of the, both still looking at me like I could explode any moment now.

'But—' I started, but I couldn't doubt Ciel's serious look. If there really had been a cat, Ciel would've seen it. 'But I saw it.'

Ciel sighed. 'Anyway, you aren't hurt, apparently being a freak means you can survive crashing into a building and at least you have your wings now.'

'Er?' I said, looking at them as if they were the ones that were turned into cows. 'Wings?'

Junior and even Ciel laughed. 'Serious?' Junior asked. 'You walk around on the roof of a hotel with gigantic wings coming out of your back and you didn't notice? Why did Will never tell me that you are so goddamn hilarious?'

I blushed now and reached with my hands behind me, only to feel soft feathers, which made me jump. 'Oh!' I screamed, more surprised than I thought I would be. 'Oh! I did it!' Then I made a sour face. 'But that doesn't mean I can carry Ciel all the way back home.'

'Home?' Junior repeated, slightly surprised. 'What about home?' Then he frowned. 'Now that you mention it… where's that demon guy? I don't sense him at all. I mean, I knew he was trying to escape, but I never thought that he wouldn't come back for his prey.'

I looked over at Ciel, not sure what I should tell Junior. Ciel shrugged, telling me that he didn't really care if he knew or not.

I sighed. 'Well, maybe we should get back inside. A lot has happened.'

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><p>XxX<p>

We were sitting on the ground in the middle of the room, not bothering to put the furniture back to its place.

'Ah, so he thinks you value your soul too much,' Junior said while pointing at Ciel after I explained everything. Then he frowned and shook his head. 'That isn't right.'

'Sorry?' I asked confused.

Junior scratched his head while saying: 'Well, demons make contracts, but they aren't as fair as you may think. The moment the contractor agrees is the moment the demon has the most power. The demon can break the deal, the prey cannot. But the moment that the demon loses trust in its master, it can devour its soul. Because, in the end, demons are powerful enough to take anyone's soul as it is.'

I didn't quite understand and Ciel supposedly didn't as well, because Junior sighed. 'I know this sounds quite illogical, but it is actually very logical. Reapers and demons have fought before and clear rules were set up. Demons who break the rules, such as stealing a human's soul get tracked and killed. But if a demon makes a contract with a human, that human's soul will from that moment be a lost one to us. The demon doesn't have to keep the contract. He just has to wait long enough to make sure that that soul isn't in our register anymore.' He pulled a face. 'From what Senior Spears told me, that demon of yours is very old, and the old ones are… how should I say this… you could call them the aristocracy of our kind. Old, wise, posh, powerful. They wouldn't break a contract, or end one too early if it wasn't for a good reason.'

I frowned. 'So… what does this tell us?'

Junior sighed again. 'Well, he hasn't even broken the contract, since the mark is still there.' He pointed at Ciel's eye. 'But it _has _become inactive. You could say that Sebastian has put Ciel's soul on a 'pause'. The mark doesn't do anything, it only shows other creatures that his soul is already taken. Ciel cannot order Sebastian to do anything and Sebastian isn't able to find Ciel anywhere, either.'

Maybe I was too stupid to understand, but this sounded like we knew absolutely nothing.

Ciel didn't think so. 'So the most logical conclusion would be that Sebastian is taking care of something and he doesn't want me to interfere?' he asked.

Junior shrugged. 'No idea. I'm not that smart, you know.' Then his eyes fell on the clock and his eyes became big. 'Aaah, I'm going to miss an appointment!' he shouted, shooting up. Then he looked at me. 'I shall explain your situation to the local reapers, they will help you out. You need to get home quickly. I do not trust a demon like that running loose, aristocrat or no aristocrat.' He pulled out an incredible goofy smile. 'A demon is a demon.'

Right. I wonder where that left me.

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><p>XxX<p>

Even though I didn't need to fly Ciel back, I did fly back. The reapers from Paris used some sort of jumping technique, but since that didn't really work overseas, I took Ciel in my arms and carried him. Though I must admit I almost dropped him a few times.

We reached London when the morning sun came up, just to see that nothing had changed. Yet. But there was something strange, I'm not sure how to describe it, but there was a strange feeling in the city, as if this was the calm before the storm. And I was quite sure I wasn't going to like the storm when it finally came.

Somehow, the house staff didn't blow the house apart. When they asked Ciel where Sebastian was, Ciel lied and said that Sebastian was taking care of some business in Paris before returning. But I bet even those guys could hear that that was a lie. Even though Ciel could be a talented liar from time to time, I noticed that it was hard from him to lie when it came to things that were important or incredibly close to him.

I went to sleep after that, didn't eat anything, didn't talk, didn't do anything else but standing. I was standing still in my room for a full five minutes before moving and changing into my pyjamas, which were different since me and Ciel decided to leave the luggage in the hotel, because that would be easier for our way back. Ciel had told the house staff that Sebastian would bring those, but we both knew that the clothes in Paris would stay in Paris. I didn't really mind though and Ciel didn't really either. He still seemed convinced that his life would end soon.

I had been laying in my bed for hours when I realised that I wasn't falling asleep. Maybe because it was in the middle of the day, but I doubted that since I had gotten hardly any sleep at all. Maybe because angels didn't sleep. Did reapers sleep? Would I become unable to sleep? But I loved sleeping. I didn't want to give up sleeping.

_I don't want to give up anything,_ I thought while lying there. _I want to keep Ciel, Sebastian, the mansion, even the idiotic house staff. I even want to keep school. _And I wanted to keep everyone who died as well. I wanted to keep living here, I wanted to keep feeling alive.

But that wasn't going to happen. I could never have everything.

I stayed in bed even though I couldn't sleep. Thinking, crying, singing, more thinking, until it became darker and darker and eventually this day ended. It was around the time when the day had finally turned into night when I heard the sound of something scratching against the window.

After laying there for so long, sitting up felt strangely unnatural. But when I did, I could look out of the window, and I saw the cat there, waiting for me to let him in.

The cat I thought I'd seen back in Paris. The cat that had caused me to crash into a building. Great. It really wasn't a great idea to open up the window.

But that didn't mean that I didn't do it.

I slowly walked towards the window and opened it, gently petting the cat who immediately moved forward as I opened the window. 'You're a very bad cat,' I said. 'Making me crash into a building. How dare you?'

Then I smelt a smell that I could recognize anywhere. I could be in a room full of perfume and I still would be able to find that smell. Sweet and tempting, luring me into loving the person smelling like that before even knowing them.

I knew I would look into a pair of red eyes before I even looked up from the cat. And because I knew what I was going to see, I did not look up. But then the demon spoke.

'You have always been able to see her,' he said softly and somehow it sounded like he was smiling, so I looked at him just to verify that.

'What do you mean?' I asked him, ignoring the shiver than went through me when I saw his face again. My body seemed to remember how it felt when he broke my neck. And even though I still felt the butterflies in my stomach, there was also fear.

Sebastian just smiled slightly sad. 'Nothing of importance,' he said. Then he cleared his throat. 'I believe an apology is in order.'

I swallowed, but the think stuck in my throat didn't leave. 'Yes. I believe so too.'

'Too bad,' Sebastian immediately said. 'Because I do not and will never regret anything I did.' The sad smile appeared again. 'Demon, remember?'

I surprised myself by just smiling sadly back at him and saying: 'I never said you weren't.'

Then, suddenly, Sebastian's face became very serious. 'Clarissa… may I… kiss you?'

I really had to keep my sarcasm in tone, because I almost said 'what? It isn't like you ever asked before!', but I didn't want to say such a thing. I wanted to have at least one serious moment with this creature, but I also believed that it wouldn't be wise to spent that moment kissing him. So I didn't say anything.

'Because,' Sebastian said slowly when I didn't say anything. 'It might be the last time.'

I already thought the last time had been in Paris. Apparently, I was wrong. I again didn't say anything, but the way Sebastian looked at me confused me. Like he was about to do something drastic. Like he was a soldier off to war, asking his lover to give him one final kiss.

Entranced by this strange look, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his, quickly, shortly, and pulled back immediately. This should be enough, right? But as I thought it, I knew I could never get enough of him.

Sebastian just looked at me for a long time, observing, trying to figure out what his territory was. And then his hands – not gloved this time – reached for my face and held it, pulled it towards him to kiss me once again.

He didn't do anything drastic, he didn't use force, he didn't even move his hands or mouth. It was just a touch, a feeling, a sweet, sweet, feeling. It had something bitter sweet, too, and I truly believed this was what it felt like when you were loved. He held my face like he loved me, pressed his lips against mine as if he loved me. And the cat that almost got crushed between us even seemed to noticed that there was something more going on here, because she jumped inside, giving us more space.

I finally moved my hands, but only to hold his wrists, to keep his hands there. I had never thought I would share such a kiss with a demon. I had never thought I would share such a kiss with anyone, ever. Not even Ciel had kissed me with his much hesitation, care and kindness.

Sebastian pulled back slowly, but only to kiss my forehead, my nose, my cheeks and then my mouth again. Then he moved back to kiss my now closed eyelids. 'I wish I was able to stop,' he murmured softly. 'But it seems like I'm addicted to you.'

That was such a surprising thing for Sebastian to say that I immediately blushed and opened my eyes to look at him. He had stopped his kissing-attack for a few seconds to observe me, but didn't smile when I looked at him. He looked extremely serious, like this was just some business he had to take care of.

'After this is over,' he told me in all seriousness. 'I will come look for you. I have to talk to you, about things that I cannot talk about at this moment. You may not want to listen to me, you may not want to breathe the same air as me, but even though that may be the case, I will come and look for you. And I will try to tell you what I wanted to say. But remember… I am and will always be a demon. And whatever happens from now on, will only prove that fact.'

And then he disappeared, just as strange and mysterious as he'd appeared.

But his words told me that I had been right. There was indeed a storm coming.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**End of the chapter! Boy, this seems like a very stupid chapter and even though I'm not happy with it, I'm updating it anyway. I feel like Sebastian was way too OOC in this chapter, but I wanted this scene to happen for weeks now and I just had to write it.**

**Guest: Thanks! It really makes me happy to hear that people are still enjoying this! I felt like my story gets worse every chapter :S**

**SnowSongX347: Ha, I love that song! It's indeed very sad, but oh, so beautiful. And yeah, I have been busy, so sorry about that! I really try to update more, but I also don't really feel like doing one year of school over, so yeah, that's my story.**

**hotbibl: Yeah, not much of that going on in this chapter, but I felt crashing into a building would be something she would do XD**

**Jacelover103: Aww, thanks! I will stay until the end, too (kind of obvious, but still). And even though I do agree that Ciel and Clarissa would be a great couple, I have things planned that may cause you to reconsider… or maybe not.**

**promocat: happy easter (bit late, but still)! And yeah, Ciel is really helpless by himself, but hey, I don't blame him.**

**Aqua Lilly: Thank you for liking it! And actually, both those decisions aren't what I have in mind ;D, so keep guessing! I'm sorry I didn't update soon… I feel kind of bad… And bad guys are allowed to come to the party! I love Drossel and Joker and his gang (though are they really bad guys?) and Ash should come just so I could punch him in the face! *evil laugh* And of course all of you should come! And I want chocolate cake. Ooh, and cherry pie. And! And! And! Strawberry pie! And cheesecake! How English of me XD. Oh, and maybe Grell shouldn't come. I want Sebastian to at least enjoy himself a little XD.**

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><p><strong>I'm not sure if this were all the reviews… Oh, well. I have to go to sleep now, because I have to go to church tomorrow. Yay. Fun.<strong>

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>


	57. Chapter 57

**New chapter! Like a said, new character this chapter! And a lot of singing… again. Sorry, I just like the idea. Mostly because she's half angel and they always say that angels sing beautiful, so I thought it would fit in the story. Also, since it's a Sunday, no updates until Friday. But after Friday I have a break for two weeks, so I will finish the story by then. For anyone who wasn't picked up on that, after the story is done, chapters will still be released. The status ****_will _****be 'completed', but there will come extra chapters and stories after the epilogue, including ****_Book of Murder_**** and some other things you might have heard of before… I don't know how many extra chapters there will be, but I after Book of Murder, which will probably take about six chapters to tell, there will at least be two more short stories.**

**Anyways, that was everything I wanted to say. Enjoy!**

**Typos are made and I'm sorry about them. And I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa and…?**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 57**

Even though Sebastian had left minutes ago, I still stood there by the window, looking at the night. The cat jumped back up when it was sure that Sebastian had left and it stayed closed to me as if it knew I needed comforting.

And then I opened my mouth and started to sing. "_Behind a curtain of towering pines, the sun settling red. A city hidden high in the hills, comes out to honour the dead._ _Families somberly walk through the town, they build altars and pray. Clean the tombs and clutch rosaries and speak of better days. From the edge of the island, they ferry back to the shore, they climb under their covers and pray a little more. In this ancient city of stones, they sigh and bow their heads. The living seem rather... dead_,' my voice cracked when I sang the last word, so I stopped after that word. Something wasn't right.

And then the shouting started.

'The mansion is on fire!'

'Wake the young master!'

'What did you do, Baldroy?!'

'What?! I didn't do anything!'

'Of _course _you didn't!'

I was out of my room and already on my way to Ciel's room, ignoring the heat and the noise the house staff was making. Judging by the way they were running and where the heat came from, someone had set the kitchen on fire. And since that was where Baldroy kept his dynamite, we needed to go.

Now.

When I entered Ciel's room, he was standing there, fully clothed, looking out of the window. 'It's time, isn't it?' he asked, sounding surprisingly sad. Slowly, he turned around and he looked more vulnerable than I'd ever seen him. 'I'm going to die soon.'

I wasn't sure what to say. Lie, tell the truth? I didn't even know what the truth was anymore. I walked over to him and embraced him once more. 'Maybe,' I said softly and even though he didn't say anything, he held onto me like I was his only hope.

'Young master,' I said slowly, after a long pause. 'We need to leave.'

Ciel pushed me away and looked like his old self again. Maybe in my arms was the only place where he could be his true self. 'Yes, we must leave. Bring me to the city. I assume there's trouble over there as well.'

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><p>XxX<p>

Ciel had been correct. When we reached the centre of London after a beautifully awkward ride, since I wasn't going to fly Ciel, Mei-Rin, Finnian _and _Baldroy, we already knew that the town was on fire. Where was the police, where were the firefighters, we didn't know.

Ciel stepped out of the car before any of us could, but we immediately followed. He walked through the streets, all on fire, people running left and right looking for help, for a saviour. For someone that didn't exist and wouldn't come.

Then he suddenly stopped walking. 'London is… burning down,' he slowly said and the way he said it made me frown. Like he was repeating or quoting someone.

Then, suddenly, Ciel clenched his hands into fists and turned around to look at us. 'This is an order! Look for water, look for the cause of the fire. Stop this fire immediately! And don't save anyone on the way! Saving London is more important than saving its civilians.'

The house staff all cried as they realised what Ciel meant. Save the city, not the people. But they nodded and agreed, because, in the end, Ciel was the only home they had. 'Yessir!' they said and then they started to leave.

I didn't, though. 'And you, Ciel?' I asked slowly. 'What will you do?'

He gave me a sad smile. 'It's simple,' he said. 'I'm going to die trying to take revenge and I will die with the soul he craves.' Then he closed his eyes. 'Please, could you take me to the royal palace?'

I smiled and for one last time, I bowed to this Earl. 'Yes, my Lord.'

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><p>XxX<p>

We reached the palace, only to see that all the doors were open and that there was no one to be found. Even though this got us both worried, we didn't say anything.

But then we found someone in the main hall. She was dancing through the hall, singing, laughing, not thinking about the fire. Well, the fire was still a long way from the palace, but still, you could hear the screams for here.

'_Death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil songs! Hell, you know that's how I get along. The world is full of tragedy, so how can it be wrong, singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs!_'

Me and Ciel shared a confused look before looking back at the girl. I assumed she was around fourteen years old, but damn, she was strange. She was wearing the same kind of dress that the Queen had been wearing, but she wasn't wearing a veil. She had black hair and green eyes and black glasses that seemed a tiny bit too big for her.

Then she saw us and she giggled. '_Heeeeeey!_' she said, waving at us. 'Are you here for the Queen?' She bowed.

'You… you are not the Queen,' Ciel said slowly, not sure what he should do with this girl.

'Nope!' she said happily. 'But I am her… what was the word again… replacer? Yes, yes, yes, that was the word.'

'And who gave you that… position?' I asked, not trusting her at all.

She looked at us for a few more seconds, before laughing and continuing dancing and singing. '_And I sang death, death, devil, devil, devil, devil, evil, evil, evil, evil song! Hell, you know that's how I get along! The world is full of idiots, so how can it be wrong, singing death, death, death, death, devil, devil, evil, evil songs!_'

'We need to look for the real Queen,' Ciel told me.

I nodded. 'But what do we do about this chick?' I asked, still pretty confused.

'If you take care of her, I will look for the Queen,' Ciel said. Then his stoic face seemed to break down for just a second and he looked truly sad. 'If I'm not back in half an hour, take the girl and leave. Okay?'

I didn't want to nod, but I understood. So I did. Though I highly doubt I would do it when the time came.

Ciel ran upstairs, clearly having no time to lose as the girl kept singing the same annoying melody over and over and over again.

So maybe talking to her would shut her up.

'Hey!' I shouted above her loud voice. 'What's your name?'

She stopped dancing and singing and looked at me confused. 'I'm Ella.' She tilted her head slightly to the side. 'And who are you?'

I bowed, pretending like she was the Queen for now. 'My name's Clarissa.'

'Ah!' She said, pointing at me. 'You are Sebby's girlfriend!'

Wait… what? Was Sebby who I thought he was? And if he was… how did she know him? And why did she think I was his girlfriend?

She walked up to me and took my hands in hers. She really was tiny. Even Ciel looked big compared to her. 'Ash has told me _all _about it, you know! About how you are a hybrid and about how you lured the demon into loving you, making him unable to kill the boy you love!'

Whaaa? I didn't understand any of this. But I wasn't really listening either. I was staring into those green eyes, as green as only a reaper's eyes could be. 'Ella, are you a reaper?' I asked her, ignoring everything she just said.

'Err, how did you guess?' she asked, which was answer enough for me. Then she sighed. 'But I am not really a reaper, you know? Apparently my mother wasn't a reaper, so dad threw me away and my mother was killed and then Ash picked me up and taught me how to be a lady and now I'm here, playing the Queen!'

Geez, this kid spoke _fast_. She reminded me of Elizabeth in some ways.

Wait… so she was a hybrid, too. Why was Ash always involved with hybrids? What was he trying to accomplish?

'So, you like Ash a lot, don't you?' I asked her, not sure what her answer would be.

She looked at me confused. 'Er… I think I like him a lot because he takes care of me, but I think I don't like him a lot because he isn't nice to me. But I like you!' She gave me a bright smile, making me fall into her trap. Argh, this girl was too damn cute.

'Thank you. I like you, too,' I said with a smile. Then I noticed Ciel walking down the stairs and I almost knocked Ella over as I ran over to him. 'And?' I asked him.

'Dead,' he said slowly. 'The Queen is dead.'

And then we heard a loud scream. Apparently, we weren't alone in this house. It had been a trap. But who'd set it up, I wondered.

'The Queen has been murdered!' someone screamed.

'Who was it?!'

'Who did it?!'

'What's his name?!'

Guards came from everywhere, trapping me, Ella and Ciel in the middle. I immediately grabbed Ella with the means to protect her, but I hoped that these guards would see that this girl would never kill the Queen.

But Ciel, on the other hand… he looked guilty enough. Coming from her room and all… Did he kill her?

'I am Ciel, Earl Phantomhive!' he stated with all the pride he had left.

One of the guards spoke. 'Phantomhive? So the Queen's Guard Dog has turned against her?'

'I've cast off that name,' Ciel said, still speaking with pride. 'And I'm not the one who killed Her Majesty.'

'Do you think you can talk your way out of this?!' one of the guards screamed. They all pointed their guns at Ciel now, but since me and Ella were in the middle of the circle, they were pointed at us, too.

And then, Ciel smiled. That wicked smile that I had only seen a few times. That smile that Sebastian loved so much. 'No, probably not,' Ciel said smug. 'But I can't come to a stop here!'

I screamed just before Ciel froze. A whole was pinched through his stomach and he looked like he was going to drop dead.

He fell to the ground and I immediately fell on the ground next to him. 'Ciel! Ciel!' I screamed, wondering why no one was shooting me. But all the guns were pointed at Ciel, as if he formed any kind of threat now.

'No… way…' Ciel said with great difficulty, grabbing his eyepatch and tearing it off. I wasn't sure what he was trying to do, Sebastian wouldn't come no matter what he did. But then I saw it… the seal on his eye. It was glowing again.

I had to step back when his started to spread over the floor, creating the mark that I knew so well. What _was _this?

Then I realised it. _This had been Sebastian's trap._

Ciel clenched his teeth and got up slowly, with great difficulty. But when I tried to help him, he pushed my hands away. 'I… won't end here!'

And then not only the mark in his eye glowed, but also the mark of blood on the ground.

'Fire!' the guards screamed and this time, I didn't even have the time to scream.

And then Sebastian was there, holding all the bullets in his hands.

'Sebastian…' Ciel said, surprised, but also more at peace now.

'You're quite right, young master,' Sebastian said, but the look on his face seemed like a Sebastian I had never known before. And now only that, his voice sounded off. This was demon-Sebastian while he was hunting. 'You won't end here.' Sebastian fired all the bullets back to the guards, killing them instantly. Months ago, I would've cared. I would've found it terrible, but I couldn't care less.

_The world is full of tragedy, so how can it be wrong?_

I put my hand on Ella's shoulder. 'You were quite right, kiddo.'

Sebastian stood slowly, ignoring me and Ella completely as he looked at his master, who was still laying on the ground. 'I humbly apologize for taking unauthorized leave,' he said with a small bow.

'What were you doing?' Ciel spat annoyed, hatred in his eyes.

'Oh, I was preparing for the Last Supper,' Sebastian answered with an amused smile on his face. I doubt that Ciel would get that bible-reference, but I sure as hell did. 'Sweet, hot, and occasionally tart. Using a variety of spices to mature the flavour… ' Then the amused smile turned into one that I had never seen before and would likely never see again. A wicked smile that was so inhuman that I could almost see his true form through it. I wasn't afraid of it, but it made him less human than ever. And even though I knew now that no woman on this planet would find this face beautiful, I still loved that face, even with that unsettling smile. 'Thanks to you,' Sebastian said slowly, 'I believe I'll be able to enjoy the ultimate soul… the ultimate supper.'

And Ciel didn't seem to mind those words. He had found difficulty with his contract before, but now he had found peace with it once again. 'This is an order,' he said, 'take me to that angel of massacre!'

'Certainly,' Sebastian agreed immediately, enjoying every single minute of this hunt. He lifted Ciel and started to walk away and I stopped nor followed him. I didn't want to see. Didn't want to hear.

But then Will's voice rang in my head. _You soul is more valuable than any other soul in this world._

Right. I knew what I had to do.

Then one last guard who was still standing, probably because he hadn't fired, murmured: 'He's not human…'

Sebastian looked around immediately, giving me a quick glance before staring at the guard. 'You're right,' he said bluntly. 'I am merely one hell of a butler.' And then he left.

The guard trembled and looked over at me and Ella. 'N-n-n-not… human…'

I knew what had to be done. To save the honour and pride of the Phantomhives and to protect the world from too much knowledge, this man needed to die as well. I felt like Sebastian had left this man alive on purpose, to test me.

Then something clicked inside of me and I grabbed the big candlestick that was standing in the hall. Then I lifted it and smacked the guard down with all my might. Blood splashed over the floor and on my clothes, but for now, I couldn't care less. 'God save the Queen,' I said ironically, dropping the candlestick to the ground.

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><p>XxX<p>

I spread my wings, which was easier now, when I wasn't thinking all that much. I dropped Ella off by Mei-Rin and the others, hiding my wings while doing so. If everything worked out the way I wanted it too, I had to keep my wings a secret. If only things went as I wanted them to.

I spread my wings and flew above the cloud of smoke, making sure only people that were looking hard enough could see me. I had no idea where Ash or Sebastian and Ciel were, so I had to search. But seeing London – my world – burn down was harder to see than I thought it would be. If only someone could stop this.

Then I crashed into a few old friends.

'Clarissa!' Junior screamed from the stop of the Big Ben, with surprisingly enough hadn't burned down yet.

He, Grell and William were standing there, there death scythes ready. Of course they were here. They had a lot of work to do. I landed next to them on the clock tower. 'Hey, have you seen a fallen angel fighting a demon? I'm looking for them.'

Will readjusted his glasses. 'I'm sorry, but we have too much work to do to pay attention to such lost causes. We need to stop the fire and collect the souls first. And if that demon is as good as reapers believe him to be, he will have finished the fallen angel off before we're done. So we didn't bother to look up their whereabouts, sorry.'

I rolled my eyes. 'You could've just said 'no'.'

Then William frowned. 'Why is there blood on your clothes?' he asked.

'Oh, don't worry. It's not my blood. It's Ciel's blood and blood from a guard I m—' I stopped, didn't know why I had almost said it out loud like it was no big deal. It kind of was. I just killed a man. I really was a demon now.

Will sighed. 'It's okay, he was scheduled to die today, anyway.' He readjusted his glasses once more. 'Now, off you go, we have work to do.'

I remembered the conversation I overheard not so long ago, now only realising what decision they had been talking about. 'Thank you,' I said.

Will frowned. 'For what, exactly?'

I smiled. 'For knowing my decision and not trying to change my mind.'

He readjusted his glasses again. 'Ah, well, if you want to sacrifice yourself, go right ahead. I'm not stupid enough to chase after someone so stupidly foolish.'

Ah, that reminded me of something. 'Will, listen, there's another hybrid here…'

'Ella Flower, we know,' he said before I could finish. 'Human and reapers hybrids aren't new and there are a lot of them in this world. They don't really have much special power of special use, but we do keep track of them. Ella Flower was kidnapped when she was two and ever since we weren't able to find her.' He frowned. 'Until now.'

'Ash had her,' I told them. 'I think he has some kind of hybrid-obsession.'

'Or he used her to test things he wanted to do to you,' Grell said, as if it was obvious. 'You first test on a lesser subject before trying it out on the actual subject, right?'

'But… he hasn't done anything to me,' I said. 'Outside of the whole Angela-thing, of course.'

'Oh? Are you sure about that?' Grell asked me. 'Stupid not-so-human girl.'

I wasn't sure. Of course I wasn't sure. The only thing I was sure about was that I had to do what I had to do. But I wouldn't be able to do that if I stayed here. 'I need to go,' I said.

'I know,' Will said annoyed, 'I've been telling you that for the past few minutes.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Yes, yes, thank you very much.' I jumped up and spread my wings to fly.

'Hey, girly girl!' Junior shouted. 'Try to outsmart the aristocrat! He may cheat, but he will play along! Because demons love games!'

I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I nodded and continued my search through the city. Now where could they be? Knowing Ash, he would want to watch London burn, so a high place for sure. And not the Big Ben, because the reapers were there. Not the palace, because I just returned from there. What was another high point in Londo—

Oh, shit.

The bridge.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**_Voilà_****, end of the chapter! Also a bit illogical, but I wanted to introduce Ella in this way, mostly because I wanted that 'death, death'-song in there, but also because of Ash's obsession with hybrids and to introduce her before the story is over. And can you believe it, it's almost over! We have about two chapters left before the special short stories start! That's unbelievable. I actually wanted to finish with chapter 60, but I don't think there's enough story left to fill three chapters, but we'll see.**

**Guest: I will do Book of Murder! It will be an extra story after the official story is over, so you will get to see that :)**

**hotbibl: thanks, I really was worrying about that, I didn't want Sebastian to get too OOC, not after I tried so hard to keep him true to his character for so long!**

**promocat: Yeah, life would be great. I really should get my own Sebastian. Hmm…**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Until next time, everyone! Since I updated pretty fast after the last chapter, I will reply to reviews left on the previous chapter in the next chapter as well, because I don't like ignoring people. Aww, I'm just way too nice sometimes. And sometimes, I'm way too evil ;)**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>


	58. Chapter 58

**Heelllooo! So… the end is nearing! Aaaaah, can't believe it!**

**And I want to get serious for a moment. Don't hate me for what I'm going to say. Please don't. I have to get something off of my chest, something all my friends know, even the ones who don't even like anime/manga. Even the ones that I barely know. There even are a few teachers who know this.**

**I don't like season two.**

**And 'don't like' is an understatement. I 'don't like' it so much that whenever I see a picture of Alois or Claude or Hannah, or hear their names, I cringe and want to caramelize someone until their insides are stretchy and sweet. And then throw them in front of a bus. I'm sorry, you guys, because I know how many people love season 2, I just can't… I can't… **

**I didn't want to say this at first, but now I just had to. But for me, I don't hate you if you like the season. And I hope you guys won't hate me for not liking it.**

**That's what I wanted to tell you guys, I'm sorry I got so serious for a moment, I just needed to make clear ****_why _****I won't do any sort of story-arc from season two.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters. I do own Clarissa and Ella and I am sorry about the typos. I always am.**

**Right. So. Let's get started, my dearies!**

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><p><strong>Enjoy!<strong>

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 58**

Will readjusted his glasses while he looked at this mess. England didn't have enough reapers to reap all these souls now. He was going to have to work overtime again. But that didn't mean that he couldn't use some extra help.

He jumped down at the place where three idiots were busy filling buckets with water. A small simple girl was standing next to them humming the song she knew so well. Will recognised her immediately, even though he had never seen her before.

'Hello, Ella,' he said as he walked up to her.

The girl looked at him and tilted her head to the side. 'Hello, four-eyes,' she said simply.

Will twitched. For being raised by an angel, she certainly didn't have any manners. But he decided to let it slide. For now. 'I would like you to help me, if you want to.'

'Oh,' the girl said, understanding. 'You want me to put out the fire?'

That wasn't the reaction Will had expected. 'I want you to what?' he said, even though normally he wouldn't say such a thing.

The girl shrugged. 'Well, since no one asked me, I didn't, but if you ask me to do so, I will stop the fire.' She lifted her hands and slowly clenched them into fists. As she did that, the fire seem to ease down, only to disappear completely when her fists were fully closed. 'Good enough?' she asked.

Will readjusted his glasses again, hiding his surprise. No hybrid, human or reaper could control fire. There was only one type of creature who could do such a thing. And he knew that Ella wasn't one of those. Maybe reapers should've done more research on the abilities Ash Landers had. This could be dangerous for various reasons.

For now, Will didn't care. He had work to do. For once, he would work unpaid overtime. He took Grell's old death scythe, the one he'd confiscated, and handed it to the girl. 'Now then, I would like to show you the art of soul-reaping.'

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><p>XxX<p>

I reached the bridge too late, it seemed.

They were just standing now, I wasn't sure why. But as I looked closer and closer, I became more and more scared. Ciel was sitting there, helpless, still bleeding. And next to him, on the floor, lay an arm. A very familiar arm. That arm had touched me many times. Sometimes it wasn't really appreciate, but the former owner of that arm did whatever he wanted to do with that arm. Sebastian's arm.

I wasn't sure how to react. In my eyes, Sebastian was invincible. Nothing could hurt him. He was perfect in every sense of the word.

But there stood Sebastian, with only one arm left, against his opponent Ash, who looked more like a demon than Sebastian ever did.

Then he saw me.

And he laughed.

And not a cute laugh, a nice laugh, or a sexy laugh. It was a 'I'm nuts'-laugh. 'Aah, seems like all the chess pieces are finally here! The king, the queen, the knight!' He laughed again. 'Clarissa, Clarissa! Won't you join us?'

I finally landed on the top of the bridge, only to see how calm Sebastian looked, like he wasn't hurt at all. I really hoped we could fix that arm, because right now, I couldn't even stand to look at him. 'Sebastian,' I said, ignoring Ash completely.

'Yes, my Lady?' he said, keeping the manners even now.

And for some reason I decided to be al sarcastic and mean now. 'Do you miss something?' I asked with one eyebrow pulled up.

He gave me a sour smile. 'Yes, but thanks for pointing it out.'

'My pleasure,' I said. Then I turned to Ash. 'Your cleanse plans end here, Ash! You know you can never win from me and Sebastian!' Though I was starting to doubt the 'Sebastian'-part.

Ash laughed. 'Ah, indeed, I can't defeat an angel-reaper hybrid. But don't forget that I have kidnapped you once.' The smile on his face was sickening. 'Do you think that was without a reason?' He started to move his hands in a weird way and his hands seemed to glow all of the sudden.

'What are you—'

I stopped in the middle of my sentence when I felt the pain. Something was burning me from the inside, devouring me, killing me. I coughed something up and when I saw the red substance on my hands, I realised I was coughing up blood.

'Ah, you see,' Ash said slowly. 'I tried to turn you into a demon, angel _and _reaper hybrid, creating the ultimate weapon. But as I could've foreseen, your angel DNA didn't like the demon DNA I was planting inside your body and you started to die. I had to get rid of you, immediately. They would find me if they came to reap your soul. So I dumped you with an organisation that I knew and waited. Little did I know your body would save itself.' He laughed again. 'Well, not this time!'

I coughed again and this time, my legs gave up and I fell on the ground, shaking, feeling like something was burning me alive.

'Stop it!' Ciel ordered.

Ash wasn't impressed. 'Why should I listen to you, impure little boy?'

Even though Ash wasn't impressed, Ciel did help me. Because Ash wasn't focusing anymore, the pain eased a little. That or I was already dying. I needed to think. How was Ash doing this? Some angel-voodoo, I guessed. Okay, could Sebastian do that, too? Maybe, but if so, why would he help me? Right now I was on his side, but he and I both knew that when Ash was gone, we would be enemies.

'Kill me,' I ordered Ash, bringing his attention back to me. 'Come on. Do it. You aren't scared, are you?'

He laughed again and put his sword forward again. 'For course I will kill you! Rot in hell!' he ran towards me with his sword ready and just as he reached me, I grabbed the nearest wing of his wings and pulled with all my might. I was surprised to see how I ripped his whole left wing of and how it fell on the floor. Were his wings that weak of was I actually _that _strong?

Then, taking advantage of the situation, Sebastian took one of his kitchen knives and cut the other wing, holding Ash in his place in the process.

Then Ash shoot back, shocked, confused. Then angry. Oh, so angry. 'My wings,' he said slowly. 'My ultimate source of power… useless… Useless… Useless … They're all useless!' he screamed and then he launched into the air, even though he didn't have wings to hold him there, there was light and blood everywhere in that moment of anger and I knew that whatever he was doing, it would hurt, so rushed over to Ciel to cover him. Maybe I would live, but Ciel sure as hell wouldn't.

I grabbed Ciel and in my hurry, I fell over on the ground with him under me. There was a loud 'boom!' but I didn't feel anything. Was I _that _powerful? I really should've asked Will for some more detail.

But then I felt a weight on me and I felt blood in my neck. Something had protected me as well, even though I couldn't think of anyone who found me worth protecting other than the reapers who were way too busy to save me right now. I looked at Ciel to see if he was okay, but I noticed that he was looking at the thing behind me.

And I knew that is was Sebastian. But that was exactly why I couldn't look. And also because every muscle in my body still felt like shit. I didn't want to move, but even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Trying to save Ciel had cost me my last energy. 'Sebastian…' he said, shocked to see his butler in such a fragile state.

'Young master, I'd like to ask a favour,' Sebastian said, ignoring me as he should. 'Please close your eyes.'

'Sebastian…?' Ciel said, confused now.

'I am a butler,' Sebastian explained. 'I cannot damage my master's impression of me by looking unsightly. Please don't open your eyes until I say so.'

It took quite some time before Ciel answered, but he sounded sure of himself when he did so. 'All right.'

I felt the weighed leaving me and I also felt how Ciel put his arms around me. I also felt how his hands were shaking, but I couldn't do anything. I myself didn't want to see Sebastian like that either.

'Now I can show you my true self,' Sebastian said, sounding a hundred times better than just five seconds ago. 'My unsightly, disgusting, repulsive… true form.'

That was the last thing I heard, after that it was just loud noise and Ash's screams. Then I felt how Ciel sat up slowly and helped me up with him. I slowly opened my eyes to look at him, but his were still close.

Than a strong force crashed into the bridge and it collapsed and even though I didn't look at the fight, I saw Ciel slipping out of my arms and sliding to the end of the bridge. Which would end in him falling off the bridge. And even though normally, that wouldn't be too big of a deal, since there was water beneath him, it was clear that right now he was to weak and injured to swim. He would be dead before he could even reach the bottom of the river.

'Ciel!' I screamed, shooting after him. Just as he fell off the edge I grabbed his hand, but then I felt that my body still hadn't recovered yet. I wasn't sure how long I would be able to hold him. And I wasn't sure how long Ciel would be able to hang like this.

'Young master,' Sebastian said and even though there was still all kinds of noise and he wasn't raising his voice, I could still clearly hear him. 'Can you survive long enough for me to count down from ten?'

'Yes!' Ciel said with difficulty, his eyes still closed and clearly in pain.

'Clarissa, can you hold onto my master for ten seconds?' Sebastian then asked.

'Yes!' I said, without a doubt.

'Right,' Sebastian answered. 'Then here we go. Ten!'

'Revolting!' Ash screamed in agony.

'Nine!' Sebastian said.

'Unclean!' Ash shouted.

'Eight!' Sebastian counted, clearly enjoying whatever he was doing. I could hear the smile in his voice.

'Unfruitful!' Ash shouted and his screamed were paired with the horrible sound of bones being broken.

'Seven!' Still clearly enjoying himself.

Ash started to sound scared now. 'Unnecessary! Unfertile!'

'Six!'

'Unprofitable! Unlawful!'

'Five!'

Ash's screams stopped, but the horrible sounds and the shaking of the bridge were enough to tell me that it wasn't over yet. But my arms screamed from the inside, felt like they were being ripped off and I hoped that Sebastian would count faster.

'Four! Three!'

'Filth! Filth, filth, filth, filth, filth…!' Ash didn't even sound human now.

'Two!'

More inhuman sounds, more horrible noises. My arms couldn't hold on for much longer. They would break, fall off.

'One.'

A loud bang and a lot of light told me that maybe it was over now.

Then, slowly, footsteps approached me and Ciel. But I couldn't look. The footsteps didn't sound human and I know that I didn't want to see Sebastian like this.

So I just stared at Ciel, who still had his eyes closed.

'It's over, young master,' Sebastian purred softly, still clearly enjoying himself.

Ciel slowly opened his eyes, looked at the water. I wished he would look at me, tell me what he wanted with his eyes. I would not hand him over to Sebastian if that wasn't what he wanted. I would be the angel that grants him his last wish.

Ciel finally looked at me and even though I knew I looked more worried than I had ever been, he just smiled kindly and nodded, told me to let go.

And then I let him go.

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><p>XxX<p>

'_London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair lady,_' Ella sang as she did the job she was asked to do. '_Build it up with blood and souls, blood and souls, blood and souls. Build it up with blood and souls, my fair lady._'

'Seems like that demon did it,' Ronald mentioned. As the reapers, all still working, looked up at the sky to see that the sun was finally coming through and to see that the bridge was finally empty of all violence.

'Who did what?' Ella asked confused.

Ronald sighed. 'Aah, kid. You don't know about the little earl who made a contract with a very big demon?'

Ella nodded. 'I do know.'

'It seems like that demon just completed his contract with the earl. He finally gets what he wants. Unless our Clarissa decides to save the earl. Do you get what I'm saying, kiddo?'

'I do,' she said in all honesty. 'But you talk _really_ weird,' she then added.

That made him laugh. 'I don't talk weird. I just talk normally.'

'Yes,' Ella immediately agreed. 'Normal is weird.'

That made Ronald laugh as well. Then he sighed and decided that this kid had done enough work for today. He looked over at the humans, who couldn't see them simply because they weren't looking, and his eyes fell on two Indian man handing food out to survivors. 'Why don't you go and grab something to eat? You must be hungry.'

Ella looked surprised at Ronald. For someone who never got anything and just waited her whole life, that was something that she never expected to hear. It was one of the kindest things anyone had ever said to her. 'Okay! I will!' She ran over to the group humans.

'Everyone, form a queue!' someone screamed. 'There's still more water left!'

Ronald laughed softly and leaned against his death scythe. 'Humans are strange creatures.' He looked at the sky once more and a sad smile crossed his face. 'You were wrong, little earl. Humans aren't as selfish as you believe.' Then he sighed. 'Ah, well. I guess it's too late now.' Then he pulled himself back together and managed to put is smile back on his face. 'Anyhow, back to work!'

Ella on the other hand, was running towards the Indian man, ignoring the queue. She had never seen one before, so how was she supposed to know?

The man with the purple hair spotted her and immediately noticed the fancy clothes she was wearing. Maybe she indeed didn't know what a queue was, like he didn't know what it was before. He smiled and took one bag of curry buns from the table he and Agni had set up for now and handed it to the girl. 'Here you go,' he said as he gave her the small bag. 'Everyone gets two. Eat up, and smile!'

'Two?!' she screamed happy. 'Thank you so much, sir!' She gave him a bright smile bowed and then ran back to Ronald. 'I got two!' she told him, waving with the back of curry bread.

He laughed as he reaped the last soul on his list. 'You can have them, Ella. I'm not hungry.'

'Huh?' she said, tilting her head to the side. 'How can you _not _be hungry?'

Ronald laughed again and placed his hand on the girl's forehead. She was right. Normal _is _weird. And highly overrated.

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><p>XxX<p>

I had never seen anything as beautiful as the light pouring out of Ciel as he fell and fell.

But then Sebastian jumped after him and I sighed, knew what I had to do. Why didn't I have a power-up option like Sebastian seemed to have?

Well, well, if you can run with a headache, you can also jump into the river with every single muscle in your body feeling like they're on fire. And the pain seemed to slowly ease now. Maybe that was because the monster that had caused the pain was dead now.

I didn't jump, though. I just watched how Sebastian took Ciel out of the water and put him inside a boat. Then he looked up at me and looked at me for a very, very long time. And then he just set off, thinking that I wouldn't bother him while he completed his contract.

Well, he was wrong.

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><p>XxX<p>

**Dum. Dum. DUUUUMMM! Anyhow, this chapter was a bit shorter, but I wanted to split the last part into two parts, because it would be WAY too long if I didn't, so yeah. Hope you enjoyed that! I felt like that sucked, but maybe I feel that way because the end is nearing, I'm not sure.**

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><p><strong>Guest: Nope, no season two. Sorry, you have to find another fic for that. I'm not a fan of the second season…<strong>

**SnowSongX347: Ha ha, I liked making her kill the guard. Hehe, I fell evil. And also, I loved the circus arc, so I felt like I ****_had _****to do it. I also really wanted to do the murder arc, but on its original place it seemed illogical for my story, so I had to change the order around a bit. Anyhow, hoped you enjoyed this chapter even though I didn't like how it turned out :S**

**Jacelover103: Aah, wouldn't that be lovely, if she could've both. But I don't think the boys would like that though… Hmm… Glad to hear you like Ella! I love writing her! I feel like she's a lot like Elizabeth, only a bit wiser.**

**Aqua Lilly: ha ha, I also lost track of how many puns you made, to be honest! How you thought this update was fast enough and… that it didn't suck. I felt like it did. I really do think so, but I wanted to update, so yeah.**

**RandomFandoms14: Yes, I am! So you aren't done with me (yet). And lol, that Lau's name actually means that is pretty freaking hilarious. XD**

**promocat: yes, he did. But that doesn't mean that Clarissa won't change things. Dum. Dum. DUUMMM!**


	59. Chapter 59

**_Lavender's green, dilly, dilly, lavender's blue, dilly, dilly. _****I want to murder someone. Whose idea was it to take me to Cinderella. F*cking annoying song. Argh. And Lavender isn't green (Cinder)Ella. You idiot. Get your shit together.**

**But yes, I'm updating again. Because… ending. That's the only reason. And because I'm too lazy to check for typos right now I won't. I know, I know. Hate me if you want to, but I'm nor forcing you to read this, so, yeah. Right. Anyhow, enjoy!**

**Yeah, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, or any of its characters. I do own Ella and Clarissa, so there is that.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 59**

'Miss Clarissaaaaaaa!'

Ah, now I know of who Ella reminds me. She's like Elizabeth. Maybe even more annoying. Yes. Elizabeth is going to cry like a baby if I don't succeed.

I finally manage to stand straight and walked up to her, still on the top of the bridge. 'What is it, Ella? How did you get here?'

'I took her.' Behind Ella, Junior appeared. A smile on his face and his death scythe in his hands. 'Because I know what you want to do and no one can get where you need to go.' Then he lay his hand on Ella's shoulder. 'But I believe she can.'

I frowned now. 'I'm sorry, I don't… understand.'

Junior sighed and smiled a sad smile while he started to explain. 'Every demon has his own little territory between this world and the next. It's where souls can be taken in peace and where woman and children are spirited away too. Once a soul gets lost there, we are under no obligation to save that soul. Souls that wander off, are souls for demons to take.' He shrugged. 'That's why we drowned the bridge between this world and the next. Souls can wander off, but even lost humans wouldn't walk into a misty lake. Unless they're stupid.'

'And what has this to do with Ella?' I asked, still not getting it.

'Well,' Junior said slowly, 'it appears that Ash has experimented on Ella on quite some things. She may be a human and reaper hybrid, but she has more demon traits than reaper traits.'

I remembered Ash saying something about wanting to make me part demon, so it would make sense that he tested his tactics on her as well. 'And so?' I asked.

'And because of this, Ella should be able to bring you to Sebastian's territory,' Junior explained.

I quickly put the pieces together, but then shook my head. 'It's too late, we'll never make it in time.'

'You're wrong,' Junior said simply, shaking his head. 'Sebastian has to take a human with him. This costs a lot of energy and quite some time, since humans can only pass by boat. You two can fly.'

'Well,' I said with a sigh. 'I wouldn't be too sure of that. I feel like a wreck.'

'Oh, for death's sake,' Junior said, rolling his eyes. 'You're part angel, remember? You can heal yourself. The only reason you aren't is because you believe you cannot.'

That for some reason made me laugh. 'Sebastian used to say something similar to me,' I explained when the two of them looked at me confused. Then I looked over at the place where Sebastian's arm lay and I grabbed it. It wouldn't hurt to bring it with me. I almost laughed at myself. I killed a man today and now I'm carrying an arm with me. I really had changed. I sighed. Then I looked back at Ella and Junior. 'Okay. So… how do we get there?'

'We don't know,' the two of them said simultaneously. 'I only know that a demon follows the path of death,' Junior added.

'And I know that I will be able to find it as long as I know what I'm searching for,' Ella said hopeful.

I closed my eyes for a while and thought about this. 'Do you think the Undertaker would know?' I asked Junior.

He slapped himself on the forehead. 'Of course! Should've asked him! I'm so stupid!' He laughed.

I spread my wings. 'It's okay. I can find him.' Then I took out a hand. 'Are you coming, Ella?'

Ella gave me a wise little smile, making me believe that she wasn't that much like Elizabeth after all. 'Yes, my Lady.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'It very simple,' the Undertaker said with a chuckle. For some reason, he wasn't charging today. 'You just have to follow what's left behind.'

'I don't understand,' I said slowly.

Undertaker chuckled again. 'All places where one can die are places where you can reach towards the other world. The place from where Sebastian took Ciel was the bridge, which means that…?'

'The portal is under the bridge…?' I asked, confused. This didn't sound like logic.

'Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!' Undertaker squealed. 'Ciel left this world through the Themes. So, in order to find him, you must go there.'

'And then?' I asked, confused.

'Hold onto what's left behind,' Undertaker simply said, pointing at the door. 'Now off you go, before you're too late.' He chuckled. 'For if you are in time; it was nice knowing you, Clarissa. You were one amusing little creature…'

I shivered. That didn't sound so good.

Oh well.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

It was my idea to just jump off the bridge again. I know, I'm an idiot. But hey, at least it was fast.

As we jumped I swam back down, looking for something, looking for 'what's left'. And what I found was… a part of a Cinematic Record. Not sure if that was what I was looking for, but I grabbed it. And then, suddenly, Ella's eyes glowed and she smiled. 'Got it!' she said enthusiastically, pulling me up and up only to see that London was gone and a misty world had appeared.

Great. This seemed like a horror movie rather than Ciel's funeral. Even though those two things are kind of the same thing.

'There, there!' Ella pointed and pointed, but I didn't see anything. I just followed her directions until we got to this sort of island, with ruins and trees. As we walked through the forest and the broken down walls, we finally found a place that looked like something. It seemed like it was once a church, but now, even though it was still recognizable as a building, walls were broken down and all the windows were gone as well. There was a stone stairs that let to nothing and a stone bench, which didn't look comfortable at all. It looked more like an altar.

A crow was sitting on a branch that was stretching over the bench and it stared at me with his red eyes. He reminded me of the cat, black and with red eyes. Everything seemed to be that way around Sebastian.

Then I turned to Ella. 'Ella, can you find your way back? I don't want you to get involved in this and… and I don't need to return.' Because whatever the outcome may be, I wasn't leaving this place with Ella.

Ella seemed to understand, again making me re-think what I said earlier about her seeming like Elizabeth. 'I understand,' she said and after a quick bow, she left.

So I sat down on the stairs, alone, waiting for them to arrive. After a few seconds, I started to panic. What if this was the wrong island? What is this isn't where Sebastian will be taking Ciel? What if Sebastian won't listen?

He never really listened.

But then I saw Sebastian, carrying Ciel, slowly walking up to the place where I sat. He saw me, but he just closed his eyes, as if he knew that I would be here and tried to ignore me as much as possible.

He lay Ciel on the bench, who sat there looking around until he finally looked at me. 'Is she… real?' he asked Sebastian, clearly thinking I was just some dream or illusion.

Sebastian nodded. 'Yes, she is, my Lord. Did you, perhaps, bring my arm?' He asked me, finally talking to me.

I nodded and took the arm out of the bag that the Undertaker had given me. 'I'm sorry, but I don't think I can but it back on,' I admitted.

He look his arm and smiled at me. 'You don't have to. I was just wondering.' And then I looked how he took the remaining sleeve off the arm and put the arm in place. I noticed that he was wearing another jacket, since this jacket wasn't bloody nor dirty. He stretched the fingers of his arm and looked at it smugly. 'Good as new,' he said. Then he looked back at me and the somewhat happy expression faded. 'So… regardless of how you did it, why did you come here?'

I stood and walked towards the two, standing between them. Then I knelt before Ciel. 'Ciel, I'm sorry,' I said, 'but I won't let you die like this.'

Ciel just stared at me, not understanding, but clearly not caring either. He looked like an old man who was ready for his death now. Tired of life, so, so tired. And even though I somewhat understood, I couldn't let him die. Not now. Not like this.

I stood again and turned to Sebastian. 'I won't let you take this man's soul.' This was the first time that I called Ciel a man, so he should feel at least a little flattered.

Sebastian forced a polite smile on his face, but I didn't get it. Why wasn't he attacking, why wasn't he acting like his usual self? Was his usual self even the _real _Sebastian? Or had I just known the man he pretended to be for the sake of his master? I didn't want to believe that. I couldn't believe that. 'And how do you intend to stop me?' he asked softly.

'Form a contract with me,' I said. 'Take me soul instead of his. I know more than enough to know that my soul is more valuable than Ciel's. I have an immortal soul, right? Meaning that your hunger will be eternally stilled.'

Sebastian sighed and nodded slowly.

But I wasn't finished yet. 'I'm not stupid, I know that if this was the deal we'd make, it would be an incredible win for you. You wouldn't lose a thing, you would only gain. That's why there more to make contract than that.'

He narrowed his eyes and I felt how Ciel grabbed my wrist, pulled it like he wanted attention. I just shook his hand off me. I wasn't done yet. 'You will remain Ciel's butler for the rest of your life. I understand I will be your priority, but you will also remain by Ciel's side. You will protect him and you will help him succeed in becoming a great man. You will protect him from murders and everything else that can end his life before it's his time. And then, if Ciel finally let out his last breath peacefully, you can take my soul.'

Sebastian actually looked surprised. Like he never thought I would be able to come up with such a deal.

Then I heard Ciel mutter 'Clarissa' really softly, clearly really touched even though he didn't want to be saved. 'You can't do this,' he started, but Sebastian smiled that smile that I had only seen once before, back in the palace, when he'd returned to Ciel's side. It was the smile he had when he thought about dinner. And then he bowed. And held out one hand as he spoke. 'You're about to make a contract with a demon. That can never be changed, and nothing sacrificed can be regained. Now choose.'

As I reached out to grab his hand, my right eye started to burn and I had to shut it. Ignoring the excruciating pain and the feeling of blood dripping down my cheek I grabbed his hand. 'I… I… I choose the contract!'

Sebastian gave me a small kiss on my lips, but it wasn't loving. It was a demon kissing its prey and I realised he and I were in a weird way equals now, in a way that we'd never been before. I now realised who Ciel had been playing against. It wasn't against the Queen, or his parents' murderers. All this time, he'd been playing against the demon he summoned. But his game was over now. The King had fallen and Queen had taken over the game.

'Now then, Clarissa Anastacia Lane,' Sebastian said smugly, somehow knowing my full name. 'Give me an order. My lady.'

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Epilogue**

'My lady?' Sebastian asked carefully. 'Master has requested an audience with you.'

I slowly put down my book. 'You don't have to be so formal, you know. We've known each other for a few decades now. Geez.' Ah, I was doing it again. Being sarcastic to hide how sad and troubled I felt.

Sebastian saw right through me and gently stroked my cheek. 'It's okay, my lady. He asked it while smiling.'

I sighed. 'But he still hasn't forgiven me. How long does it take?'

'Maybe he never will,' Sebastian said simply, his hand was in my hair now.

I sighed again. 'Not helping, Sebastian.'

He smiled, but even he felt lost. He wasn't used to losing people like this at all. 'I suppose not.' He brought my face to his and kissed my lips softly. 'Did that help?' he asked, his lips only a breath away from me.

'Hmmm,' I said, but it sounded more like I was purring.

Then Sebastian pulled away completely. 'I do believe you still have an audience with the master. I shall make preparations for dinner.'

I blushed, even after eighty years Sebastian still managed to confuse the hell out of me. 'Right,' I agreed as I left the library and walked to Ciel's bedroom. I knocked three times as usual, but I didn't wait for Ciel to allow me in. Because he never gave me permission. I wasn't sure if that was because he hated me or because he was too lazy to say it, knowing that I would barge in anyway.

'Hey, buddy,' I said, but cringed as I heard myself say that.

Ciel lay in his bed, which was still way too big for him even now. I sat on the chair next to the bed, where usually his wife would sit and hold his hand. Now I was the one to take that hand and smiled sadly as I saw how he slowly opened both of his blue eyes. 'I wanted to speak to you,' he said with difficulty. 'Before I go you… you must know that I forgive you.'

I felt my eyes tearing up and put my eyepatch up to keep it from getting wet from my tears.

Ciel pinched my hand softly. 'I think I never hated you for it, but I was just too stubborn to admit it. Even now…' He looked out of the window for a few seconds before looking back at me with a sad smile on his face. 'It's strange, even though I have always known we would die together, now I feel like want to keep living to keep you from dying.'

I smiled and put my free hand on his forehead, where his grey hair, always neatly brushed by his wife, was resting on his head. It was still as soft as back then.

Being immortal seemed to mean that I also had an immortal memory, because what happened all those years ago was still so clear to me. Sebastian had explained that memories slowly fade with time, but that I would be able to remember these times for another five hundred years or so if I got to live those. But I wouldn't be able to live those. Maybe it was better that way, because I would die remembering everything.

Sebastian had also explained that immortal creatures could decide when they would stop aging. I decided to go with an age that fitted him, so after nineteen, I stopped. Ella never stopped. She wanted to feel human, wanted to feel alive. And she felt like, by not growing older, she wasn't really living. Maybe Ciel had felt that way, too. Like he wasn't really living. Maybe I had put him through years and years of nothingness. Even though, he still forgave me. Because Ciel was always kind like that.

'Goodbye, Earl Ciel Phantomhive,' I said softly, letting go of his hand and standing up. O bowed one last time and left the room, not sure how long he and I had left.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'So this is where it ends, huh?' I asked as Sebastian laid me down on the bench I still remembered. 'Where it began. Well, not really. But kinda…' I noticed the bird, still sitting there, still looking at me. I sighed. 'I see the bird is still there.' I closed my eyes, but only for a second. 'After you've taken my soul, give it what's left.'

Sebastian smiled slightly. 'You're as kind as ever, my lady.'

I smiled back at him, but then my smile faded and his faded with mine. I knew that this man, this demon, felt more for me than he would care to admit at such a moment, but I knew that a demon would always put himself first. I had won once, but now it was checkmate. It was over. 'Will it hurt?' I asked, because that was one thing that I had been scared about for the last few years.

'It will,' Sebastian admitted, but he didn't seem to like it as well. 'A bit. I will make it as gentle as I can, though.'

I shook my head. 'Don't force yourself. You've waited long enough for this. The least you can do is enjoy it.'

He bowed one last time. 'Yes, my lady.'

That was the moment that I just closed my eyes and laid my head back, accepting death, accepting defeat.

I felt his hands caressing my face, taking off my eyepatch and caressing my skin with an feeling of obsession in his fingers.

And then his hands were gone and my eyes shot open. 'Why'd you stop?' I asked him, not understanding.

'I can't do it,' he said and he sounded like he loathing himself. 'I. _I. _Can't do it.' He cursed softly in a language that I could not and probably won't ever understand. 'I… I love you.'

It had taken him almost a century, it had taken him so many moment and events, but finally he had said it. He had never told me he loved me with those words, but I still couldn't understand. 'Sebastian, I've been reaping souls for you until now, but we can't do that forever. You need to become more powerful, Sebastian. You _need _me.'

'Yes. I do,' he said ashamed. 'But not like this. Please. I can't.'

'You don't have to.'

We both looked at the third person that had arrived. It was Ella, her eyes sad put determined. 'I have an immortal soul, too. It's not an angel one and might not be as powerful, but it's enough, isn't it?' Her eyes teared up.

'Yes,' Sebastian admitted. 'It would be enough.'

She nodded. 'Then I want to form a contract with you.' But as Sebastian came closer to her, she held up a hand. 'But don't get any ideas. I'm doing it for Ciel. He loved her so dearly.' She gave me a sad smile. 'And I'm doing it for her, too. So she can live a long and happy life with the demon who makes her happy. For some reason.' She smiled.

Sebastian took her hand. 'I will make it as gentle as I can.'

Ella slowly closed her eyes. 'Thank you.'

'No need to thank me,' he said, taking her prey to the bench. 'I'm merely doing my job. A butler who can't even achieve that much isn't worth his salt.'

'Don't you mean 'I'm simply one hell of a butler'?' I asked with one eyebrow pulled up.

'What does it matter?' he asked me as he helped Ella into an eternal sleep. 'You hate both of those phrases.'

'That's right,' I easily admitted. 'But I don't hate you,' I added.

He smiled arrogantly. 'I know you don't.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**AND WHO SAW THIS COMING OMGGGGG! (okay, clearly too much sugar)**

**Aaaaaaaaawwww, I can't believe it's over! I just… I can't! So. Much. PAIN! Well, it's not over yet, with the short stories coming up, but still! This. Is. The. END. MAAAAAWWW! :'(**

**I actually came up with this solution before I even started writing this story, so I'm really happy I was finally able to write it! :D**

**Also, because I update so soon after the last one, there aren't that much reviews, so I will mainly reply to the reviews I 'chapter 60' which WON'T BE AN ACTUAL CHAPTER! It will be me talking and explaining to people that the story is done now and blah, blah, blah, you know the drill. So if you already know all that, you can ignore chapter 60 completely and wait for chapter 61, which will probably be up on… let's say Monday. Chapter 60 and 61 will be updating right after each other, so, easy peasy (if that's how you spell that).**

**hotbibl: aaah, I hope you like what she did! He he, this is what I wanted to do from the beginning.**

**SnowSongX347: I suppose you meant the book of murder arc instead of the circus arc, since I already did the circus arc, it starts at chapter 34. And the book of murder arc will be in the same story. I won't make another, because I always find that very confusing. So no, it won't be like that. Book of Murder will be chapter 61 and so on.**

**I LOVE YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR READING AND EVERYTHING YOU ARE MY LITTLE KITTENS AND I WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY FRIDAY! BYE BYE BYE AND SEE YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOONNNNN! PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE (I don't think I'm spoiling anything, since it's called 'Book of Murder') SO PREPARE TO DIEEEE!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**(yep, clearly way, _way,_ too much sugar)**


	60. Extra Chapter 0

**WARNING: this is not a chapter. If you don't want to read me rambling about stuff, then you can just skip this and go to 61.**

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><p><strong>Hellooo! Here I am again!<strong>

**As you all probably know: the story is completed. The upcoming chapters are all extra content with more explanation and fluff and stuff like that. The first chapter will be an introduction, to show how the team lives their days now that Sebastian doesn't have a contract with Ciel anymore, but with Clarissa. It will be a bit shorter than previous chapters, because it really is just an introduction.**

**And for the Book of Murder: that will start after that, so chapter 62 and so on. But it will be a bit different than normal. It won't be Clarissa's point of view. Just like in the manga and the anime, Book of Murder is seen through Arthur's eyes. I like the story and the mystery better that way and I also like to write about how Arthur sees Ciel, Sebastian and Clarissa. So if you don't like that, then I'm sorry.**

**I probably have more to say, but right now I cannot seem to remember. Ah, yeah. Ella. Ella won't be in Book of Murder, but she will be in other extra chapters. Also, I'm thinking of making a spin-off about her, but first I have to see how the extra chapters turn out.**

**I think that was everything. Enjoy the extra chapters!**

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><p><strong>Review replies:<strong>

**promocat: _aah, you watch dubbed, I forgot. Book of Circus is awesome, my favourite season. Mainly because it follows the manga almost literally, with I like. I hope they don't mess up the dub, because the circus artists all have very cute/funny/awesome accents. _**

**SnowSongX347: _Thank you so much! And yeah, you're right, it's against the rules. But the upcoming chapter explains it a little bit more, so yeah, maybe it makes more sense after you've read that._**

**Jacelover903: _thank you so, so much! And yes, you really are ;)_**

**chilly47penguin: _thank you, glad to know it was worth reading!_**

**Madam Fab: _Ha, thanks! And it's okay if you don't understand. First of all, Sebastian couldn't take Ciel's soul because Clarissa wouldn't let him, since the contract she made with Sebastian was that he would protect Ciel from all harm, with of course includes his soul. And also, Sebastian probably wouldn't want Ciel's soul anyway, because in the beginning of the story, Sebastian has said that souls that die of old age aren't that interesting or satisfying, so he'd lost his interest in Ciel's soul._**

**Aqua Lilly: _Ha ha, saved you for last, cause your reaction was _**_**long ****(in the best way). And even though that's an awesome idea for the Book of Murder (and I mean that, seriously, you should've said it sooner, now I've already begun writing what I wanted to do), I already have a way of telling it and I hope you'll like it! He he. Aah, but I do want to write Clarissa sitting by the fireplace and being kissed by Sebastian… aah… that would be perfect. And after seeing how Ciel's eye bled when he made the contract… I don't think his eyesight would come back, so I think I'm going to keep the eyepatch. And Clarissa simply will be wearing one, too ;)**_

_**And I would love it if you'd become my BETA (was that bad English? It sounded awful in my head, but I digress). And I think the idea for your blog-kind-a-thing is an awesome idea! I would totally read that! ;D And I think you can do every episode and if readers have question, they'll leave a comment or something. IDK, I'm just trying to help :D**_


	61. Extra Chapter 1

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard.*****

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><p><strong>Extra chapter 1<strong>

'God save the Queen, you raper!' I shouted as Sebastian threw the man against the wall, smashing his skull open.

I immediately moved forward to chapter his soul the moment the man died and I was immediately grabbed by Sebastian, who took the soul from me before I could even blink. 'Are you okay?' I asked him. 'Because he smelled awful.'

Sebastian just smiled with glowing eyes. 'I think I'll live.'

I laughed. 'That's not a surprise.'

'Yes, yes, we all love each other very much,' Ciel said sarcastically, moving forward. He walked towards the corpse and took the letters out of the man's jacket, even though we weren't allowed to read them. 'Say,' Ciel said as he put the letters in his jacket. 'Why do you always say that when we murder somebody?'

'What?' was my reaction, ignoring the fact that Sebastian was inspecting my body, looking for possible injuries.

'_God save the Queen_,' Ciel reminded me as Sebastian grabbed my hair so he could inspect my neck. 'Why do you always say that?'

Sebastian let go of my hair as I shrugged. 'It was the thing I said when I first murdered a guy. It became a tradition.'

Ciel pulled up an eyebrow. 'Huh?' he said, even though he normally didn't speak like that. He spoke more classy, normally. He of course didn't know.

Sebastian did know, though and the smile on his face told me that I had pleasantly surprised him.

But now wasn't the time to flirt. I turned my head back to Ciel. 'But you know what I think is strange? The new Queen gives us a lot of work. We have killed over five criminals in the past month. Why is she so busy?'

Ciel shrugged. 'I don't know and I don't care. As head of the Phantomhive family, I am loyal to my Queen and country. Even though I do not feel any loyalty.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Yeah, you do. Don't you try to deny it.'

Ciel pulled a sour face. 'Can we go now?' he then asked. 'Or do I have to watch as you two flirt next to a dead body?'

I felt how I blushed, but Sebastian remained cool as always. But he didn't listen to Ciel as much as he used to do. 'Your orders, my lady?' he asked me and I saw him smiling amused when Ciel pulled an even sourer face when he once again realised that Sebastian wasn't his chess piece anymore.

I sighed. Ciel was already pissed enough at me for what it was. 'Let's just go home.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Those two butlers are creeping me out,' I told Ciel in all honesty. 'What did they want this time?'

With the polite butler-smile on his face, Sebastian poured tea for both me and Ciel.

'The Queen's butlers should be talked about with respect,' Ciel said to me sternly, like he was the elder here. 'And they wished for me to organize a banquet for Lord Georg von Siemens.' He took a sip of his tea. 'He's a German personage, distantly related to Her Majesty. And he's expressed interest in British industry and private enterprise.'

I yawned. '_Boooorring._ Just tell me what needs to be done. Who do we have to kill?'

'We don't have to kill anyone,' Ciel said sharply, but the way he said it seemed like he wasn't sure of that himself. 'The new Queen is suspicious of me, she doesn't trust me. She questions my loyalty, and my competence as the Queen's Watchdog. I believe she might have looked at some old files.' He looked up from his tea and stared at me with his big blue eye. 'Especially the file about the Noah's Arc Circus.'

I shivered and understood. 'Well, you should've just told her honestly,' I then said, 'saying that you couldn't save them seems unbelievable, even for me.'

Ciel sighed, took another sip of his tea. 'And that's why this task is important to recover my image.'

'May I ask something else?' I asked.

'Yes,' Ciel answered, surprised that I even asked.

'Why is Sebastian smiling so amused ever since I said that I do not like the Double Charles of the Charles Twins or whatever they call themselves?' I asked, looking at Sebastian as I asked that question.

Ciel sighed again. 'Charles Grey will be participating as overseer, so I hope you don't mind.'

'What?!' I said, almost falling of my chair. 'When?'

'In two weeks,' Sebastian answered, holding two gloved fingers up.

Ciel put his tea cup down now and stood, as if he wanted to tell me he was done socializing with me. 'Sebastian,' he said in his ordering tone. 'Find out everything you can about Siemens, no matter how trivial.'

Sebastian looked over at me for the final order, but I knew that he already knew what my answer was going to be. I nodded.

'Certainly,' Sebastian said. He then left.

I was surprised when Ciel started talking again, I kind of thought the conversation was over. 'If I can't predict the hidden meaning in this letter,' he waved with the letter he got from the Queen's butlers, 'it will probably ruin me.' He suddenly looked very sad and lost in his own office, which made my mood turn around as well.

Ciel was still wearing his eyepatch. Even though the seal in his eye was gone, his eyesight was also gone. It was just an empty eye now, a leftover from a contract with a demon. 'Ciel—' I started, but he didn't let me finish.

'Please leave,' he told me as he turned around to look out of the window. 'Leave,' he then repeated and he sounded stronger this time, almost angry. Oh, who am I kidding, he _did _sound angry.

I stood, knowing that he still didn't like being with me after what I'd done for him. Or to him. But he never sent me away. He was kind like that. 'I'm sorry,' I said once again, knowing that he knew what I was apologizing for. I had been apologizing for weeks now, but it always seemed like he didn't hear me.

I left the office, but didn't move after that. I just stood there, staring at the wall trying to regain my hope. Hope that he would forgive me, hope that live here would get better.

'He'll turn around, you know,' a voice next to me said.

I didn't look. 'I should've known that you would be here,' I said. Then I finally looked him in the eye. 'Sebastian.'

He smiled kindly, but it had that fake 'I'm-one-hell-of-a-butler'-ambiance. Then he offered me his hand. 'Come, I'll make something to eat for you.'

'I thought you had to do research on that Siemens-guy,' I said, but I did take his hand.

We walked arm in arm towards the kitchen as Sebastian said: 'Aah, but you see, my master always comes first.'

'He's your master, Sebastian. That was part of our agreement,' I reminded him.

'Yes,' Sebastian agreed. 'But we also agreed that you would be my priority. And your psychological well-being is just as important as your physical well-being.' He then frowned. 'Let me rephrase that. Your psychological well-being is almost as important as your physical well-being.'

I laughed. 'Even though you don't have a contract with Ciel anymore, you sure do seem to always tell the truth.'

'I rarely lie,' Sebastian admitted smugly.

I sighed, but it wasn't a sad sigh. 'And I rarely tell the truth.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Ciel isn't going back to school?' I asked surprised.

'No,' Sebastian stated. 'For various reasons. The first one is that he doesn't like to go out in public. Second one is he doesn't like people.'

That made me laugh. 'Valid argument,' I said. Then I pointed at the space on the couch beside me. I had been sitting in the library when Sebastian came to bring me some tea. Ciel had gone to bed on his own, since I had ordered Sebastian to learn Ciel how to get himself dressed and stuff like that. He was almost sixteen, for god's sake. 'You know you are allowed to sit down, right?'

Sebastian just smiled, not moving from his current position. 'Another argument is that he now knows that he can get home schooling.'

'Wait… he didn't know that?' I repeated surprised.

'I believe he did know that,' Sebastian admitted. 'I just believe that he never cared to spend money on his education, because he never thought he would actually finish it.'

That made me cringe, I wasn't sure if it was because Ciel had already given his death so much thought or because I ruined those plans for him. Oh well. 'Wait… do I have to go to school?' I asked, not sure what he was going to answer.

'You can do whatever you want,' Sebastian said simply. 'But I will warn you. If you decide to stop growing old at a certain point, then working at the same place for a certain period of time can be suspicious and highly dangerous.'

Of course it was. But I still wasn't sure about the whole 'immortal'-thing. And I really didn't like it that Sebastian was standing across me while having a conversation with me. 'Could you please just sit down?' I asked him.

He bowed. 'Yes, my lady.' He sat down beside me.

But this didn't feel good either. 'That wasn't an order, you know. It was a request.'

'You are not very good at having a demon butler, are you?' Sebastian asked with one eyebrow pulled up.

That made me roll my eyes. 'Well, duh. I'm not Ciel. I'm not an Earl, I'm not used to having servants. And it's even weirder when it's you…'

Sebastian's hand was on my face before I could even finish what I was trying to say. I touched my cheek and hair, but his touch was different now, just like the look in his eyes. The only time when he looked like that was when Ciel did something to make him proud. It's a demon looking at his prey. 'Do you know the feeling,' he said slowly, fingers trailing down my neck and resting at the place where my shirt started, 'of talking to your meal?' His eyes seemed to glow as he finished that question.

Normally that question would've freaked me out, but right now, for some reason, it made me blush. 'No, I do not,' I admitted. 'If I would speak to my food, people would call me crazy.'

'People are already calling you crazy,' Sebastian pointed out, fingers still on my skin.

'Thanks,' I said in the most sarcastic way I could.

Sebastian chuckled, but then sighed. 'You know that I'm still angry at you for forcing me into making a contract with you.'

'No, you're not,' I said. When I didn't get an answer, I started to doubt that though. 'You're not… right?'

'Hmmm, maybe angry isn't the proper word for it,' he said, slowly closing in. 'Angry. Upset. Annoyed. Yes, basically, very, very annoyed.'

Even though what he said wasn't really flattering, he now was so close that I could smell his scent and without noticing it, I had become addicted to that.

'And then there is the whole issue of affection,' Sebastian went on.

And I of course immediately fell down from cloud nine. 'Pardon me?'

He cleared his throat. '_I can't! I… I love you… Dammit, Sebastian, I love you!_' he said, doing a surprisingly good impression of me.

I gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder. 'I never said it like that.'

'Ah, but you're not denying that you have in fact said it,' Sebastian said, with the smile only a winner could wear.

'Well, if I said that, that would be a lie. And yes, I do still… love you,' I said and I was surprised of how easy it was to say. I wasn't sure where the sudden confidence came from, but it was a lot better than putting up an act again. 'But that doesn't change a thing,' I added before he could say anything. 'I've already ordered you to never use that against me.'

'Indeed you did,' Sebastian admitted. 'But I just wanted to say that those… kind of orders are permitted.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Please, Sebastian, how desperate do you think I am? I won't turn you into my sex slave. No, thank you.'

Sebastian pulled up one eyebrow again. 'Sex slave?' he repeated, clearly not liking the term. Then he just chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against mine.

And of course I had to respond. I mean, I could not _not _kiss him back. He knew that just as well as I did.

When he pulled back he kept his face close, but a bit higher now, his lips barely touched my forehead as he said: 'My lady, I don't think you'll be able to resist.' And then he shot up from the couch. 'You need to go to bed, my lady. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.'

'Oh?' I asked, not sure what he meant. 'What are you talking about?'

He just smiled. 'You'll see.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'You want me to be the head of Funtom Studios?'

'Yes,' Ciel answered. 'I think I've proven that children in business isn't such a ludicrous idea and I know that you are familiar with television and film. The Funtom Company is expanding and I need someone who knows what children and teens like to see on television and the big screen. Stuff like vampires and superheroes and detectives and… Doctor Who.'

'Ah, you've looked it up?' I guessed with a grin.

'Maybe,' Ciel answered, sounding annoyed. But I knew he was just hiding his embarrassment.

'Well,' I stated after a short silence. 'I would love to help you out. But you do have to learn me the basics first. I do not want to ruin your company.'

Ciel sniffled loudly. 'As if I would let you.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**So, Book of Murder is starting! Are you guys excited?! I AM! :D**


	62. Extra Chapter 2

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

* * *

><p><strong>Extra chapter 2: Book of Murder Part 1<strong>

**XxX**

_Arthur's POV_

It happened in early spring, before winter had really thawed. I was in London at the time, working as an unpopular oculist and a humble writer. I say writer, but I'd only sold one manuscript, and my copy money couldn't fill a thimble. I considered abandoning the clinic and hiding out in the country. But that was when the invitation arrived.

Yes. That was how it all began.

That night… The happenings at Phantomhive manor turned my mediocre life around.

This was the first time in my life I actually rode by cab, believe it or not. A simple man as I was only travelled by public transport, but the Phantomhive manor wasn't easy to get to, like the man was hiding from something, from whole London.

What kind of person would he be, the earl? The invite someone like me?

When I arrived, I really started to question why I was here. Everyone looked all high class and rich. Even though I wore my fanciest suit, everyone would be able to tell that I was just a commoner. Wasn't that right there the famous opera singer Irene? Really, what was I doing here?

Then, someone crashed into me. 'Sor—'

A girl with a strange hairdo and a… revealing dress had bounced into me, but quickly stepped away to join the other Asian in the room. A man who wore traditional Chinese clothing (were these two also actors?) and seemed like a nice man. 'I-I beg your pardon…' I said, trying to make this less awkward, when I realised the only one finding this situation awkward was me.

'Oh, sorry,' the man said, speaking for the young lady. He turned towards the small lady, who seemed to be glued to his side now. 'You should watch where you're going,' he told the girl. 'Where's your apology?'

The girl stared at me with her wide, yellow eyes. She reminded me of a cat, but I was quite sure that was because of her hair. 'Sorry…' she said, but the way she said it was so monotone that it only made this more awkward.

For me, that is. 'N-Not at all…'

'I'm just a humble trading company branch manager,' the man said. 'You can call me Lau.' Then he pointed at the young lady at his side. 'This is my sister, Ran Mao.' Then he looked back at me. 'And you are…?'

Ah, I really was a nobody compared to him… 'I-I work in ophthalmology and I write occasionally.'

'That's amazing!' the man – Lau – said before I could give him my name. 'You're a professor!'

'Not at all!' I said immediately, making waving gestures with my hands. 'I'm not nearly that successful. I can't understand why I'd be invited to such a lavish banquet,' I explained as the man petted his sister on the head. 'I've never even met the earl before…'

'Who knows?' was Lau's reaction. 'I don't know what that moody guy is thinking.'

'T-The Earl is really that hostile?' I asked, now not so sure if I should've come or not.

'All I know for sure is that something interesting is bound to happen,' Lau answered, but the way he said it made me more nervous – but also more curious, because it seemed like he meant much more than what he said.

'What kind of person is he?' I asked, since this man seemed to know the earl well, or at least better than I did.

Lau put his hand to his chin, thought his answer through. 'Well… he's usually either sullen or angry and he's extremely proud.'

What? That didn't sound good at all…

But Lau wasn't finished yet. 'He also wears an eye-patch like a pirate, which seems to have a complicated story behind it.'

And that made it even worse…

'I've had about enough of you teasing my guests,' someone said, making everyone look at the big staircase in the middle of the entrance hall, where three young-looking people were standing.

The first one was clearly a butler, dressed in all black and a polite smile on his face. Next to him stood a boy, quite small, quite young, he was wearing a green suit and an eye-patch, just like the lady next to him. She was wearing a white dress that looked a bit more casual than the other people's clothing and it actually made me feel a bit better about mine.

What I didn't get, though, was where the earl was. 'Children?' I said, confused.

'That little child is Earl Phantomhive,' Lau explained.

That seemed to piss the little earl off. 'Don't say 'little'!'

'It's kind of true, though,' the girl next to him told him. The only reaction she got was a glare from the butler.

The earl cleared his throat and put a smile on his face filled with the beautiful innocence only a child could have. As he walked he slowly walked down the staircase, followed by the butler and the girl. 'Thank you all for accepting my invitation,' he said kindly. 'I am the master of the house, Ciel Phantomhive. For those who favour me with their patronage, and those I'm meeting for the first time, I promise to offer my personal greetings once the banquet begins.' Then Ciel frowned and turned towards his butler. They had a quick conversation that I couldn't hear, but they were interrupted when a maid walked into the entrance hall. Her voice was quite loud, so I was able to hear what she said. 'Our guest has arrived.'

And indeed, a man followed by another man in white, I guessed his butler, entered the room. The first man, who was a bit older than his butler and had a beard, placed his hand on his chest. 'Pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm Georg von Siemens. I appreciate the invitation.'

'Hey!' the man in white then said and his casual way of talking changed my mind about him being the other man's butler. 'Got everything ready for the party?'

The earl smiled and held out his hand. 'You've come so far, I'm delighted to meet you.' He shook the man's hand. 'I'm Ciel Phantomhive. I took the liberty of arranging a buffet style meal, tonight. So, you'll be free to enjoy the conversation. Please, follow me.' The earl pointed at a certain direction and the two men gladly followed him. Then there was a little conversation between the butler and the girl that I couldn't hear, but it ended up with the butler leaving and the girl looking slightly grumpy with a paper in her hand. 'Well then,' she said with a clear voice, 'I will call you each by name. When I do, please enter the dining room. And please, don't kill me if I get your names wrong, the young master is still working on his handwriting.'

A few people laughed.

'Mr Patrick Phelps,' she said formally.

'Y-yes,' a young man with blond hair said, walking to the dining room.

'Mr Carl Woodley,' she then said.

A somewhat older looking man with a smug expression and blue eyes nodded. 'Pardon me,' he said as he walked, head held high, to the dining room.

'Mr Grimsby Keane, accompanied by Miss Irene Diaz.'

The blonde opera singer dressed in a purple dress and the man with the red hair that was standing next to her started to move towards the dining hall.

'Lau and Ran-Mao,' the girl then said, which told me that indeed Lau and his sister knew the Phantomhive household better than probably most of the others here.

'See you later, then,' Lau told me as he and his sister walked passed me.

I started to panic. What if it was wrong? What if my name doesn't get called?

Fairly enough, my name did get called last, which meant that I was accompanied by the girl as we walked towards the dining room. 'Please enjoy yourself, Mr Arthur,' she said nicely, before immediately walking away, towards the butler in black.

I just sat down in a silent and empty part of the room, feeling incredibly misplaced. Why was I invited?

Then the butler, accompanied by the girl walked up to me with a tray of glasses filled with wine. 'Would you care for a glass?' the butler asked.

'Thanks,' I said politely as I took one off the tray. And then I caught myself staring at the man. He was an enchanting man, with such a vibrant ambiance… just like the girl standing next to him. When you're first class, you get first class servants, too.

The butler moved on, but the girl didn't move. 'Do you mind if I… accompany you for a while?' she asked.

'W-w-what? No… I mean… Please!' I stuttered.

She just smiled and sat down next to me. 'No need to be nervous. I'm not a noble either.' She flipped her legs up and down like a child would do. 'And I'm not a servant either.' She laughed.

'Are you enjoying yourself?' someone asked.

I shot out of my chair when I noticed it was the earl. 'E-earl!'

The girl laughed again. 'You scared him, Ciel,' she said as the earl sat down on the chair at the other side of me and smiled at me. 'Please, sit down, Professor.'

'Ah. Oh, no,' I said as I sat down, still not agreeing with the fact that people were calling me 'professor'. 'I'm not really in a position to be called 'professor',' I explained.

'But that's what I'd like to call you. So it's fine, isn't it?' the earl said.

The girl at the other side coughed, but only to hide a 'so stubborn!'.

'Unless,' the earl added, 'it displeases you.'

'Ah, no. No, of course not,' I said, blushing again. 'Um, this may sound rude, but… Why did you invite someone like me, to today's party?'

'The other day, I read one of your works,' he explained.

'So not true!' the girl said. And then she was out of the chair and she sat down on the floor so she could face me and the earl. 'I read your book and I recommended it to Ciel!'

'I would've read it even without your recommendation,' the earl told the girl, 'I have an eye for good literature.'

'Yes,' the girl agreed. 'Literally. One. Eye.'

'I don't think it's appropriate to sit on the floor, Clarissa,' the young earl told the girl.

The girl pulled up an eyebrow. 'Do I look like I care?' I was surprised how normal these two were talking to each other. I almost forgot that one of them was an earl. What she was, I didn't know.

'Anyhow,' the earl then said, turning his head back to me. 'the protagonist of your story was very witty and charming.'

That surprised me so much that I again shot out of my chair. 'What?! Really?!' It was nice to notice that neither of those two seemed to think my reaction was weird. As I sat back down again I explained: 'But, apparently, that novel was really unpopular.'

'What?' the girl said. 'People are getting more stupid every day!'

The earl had more of a reaction. 'I can't believe they don't appreciate the novelty of your work,' he said, sounding seriously troubled. 'It's hard to believe they're citizens of an advanced nation.' He then sighed. 'Ah, well, you first have to make a name for yourself. Plenty of authors are praised as authorities, even though their writing is trash.'

'Exactly!' someone else agreed, joining the conversation. 'That's exactly right!'

The man with the red hair almost stepped on the girl as he came closer. 'It's simply unforgivable! Obstinate old fools love to throw their weight around in our industry. But if acting was just reading lines, any amateur could do it. Don't you agree?'

'Well, yes…' the earl said hesitant.

'Does this guy have an off-switch?' the girl asked.

'I said stop! Touching me with those indecent hands! I can't stand it anymore!'

We all looked over at the scene at the other side of the dining room. The opera singer and the guest of honour were standing there and Von Siemens seemed a bit too drunk. 'Oh… I'm so sorry,' he said with a big smile on his face. 'When you're dressed like that, I just…'

'Somebody stop Lord Von Siemens!' Mr Phelps shouted as Siemens reached with his hands for the opera singer.

Then she slapped him in the face. 'Insolent lecher! You should be ashamed!'

That seemed to turn the happy drunk into an angry drunk. 'That's the last straw!' He grabbed a glass of champagne from the nearest table and threw it at the woman.

And then the girl was there, covering for the woman. The earl was only a little bit further away, because he had shot out of the chair too. But that girl had been faster. So fast that I hadn't even seen her move…

'This is a banquet,' the earl said calmly. 'I'd ask you both to leave your argument here and—'

The man with the red hair didn't seem to agree with that. 'You conniving old man!' he screamed, running towards Lord Von Siemens while grabbing a bottle of champagne from the table. 'Don't you dare touch my woman!' He threw the bottle, but then the butler was there, grabbing the bottle before it could injure anyone. He jumped on the table with the glasses and filled the highest glass until it poured over to the other glasses. 'This is a fantastic champagne from the village of Bvlgari in south-eastern Moldavia. I hope you all enjoy it.'

It was the exact same ambiance I had praised before that now turned the mood around.

'How beautiful!' Lord Von Siemens said.

'It smells good!' the man dressed in white proclaimed. 'Will you give me a glass?'

'Me too!' Lord Von Siemens added.

'And me!' Lau said.

Suddenly everyone was happily enjoying the champagne, everything that just occurred forgotten. The girl – Clarissa – walked up to me. 'Jesus, now I got my hair all sticky and wet.'

'It was a great thing you di—' before I could finish, the butler stood before us with a towel, covering her head and drying her off.

'Are you alright, my lady?' he asked.

I sat down again as the earl joined our little group. 'Another champagne tower?' he asked his butler.

But there was something strange about how the butler treated the girl. With a care that I normally thought was only for his master. Maybe those two… No, I didn't want to think about such things right now.

'Everyone seems to like it,' was the butler's response. 'So…'

'Well,' the earl said, 'I must say… _That man seemed so austere, but this is how he behaves after a few drinks?_'

French? Why suddenly French?

'_From the looks of things, I'd say he's a repeat offender,_' the earl went on.

The butler responded, also in French. '_That may be so, but judging by his complete lack of self-discipline, he's either a complete fool or perfectly shameless._'

'_I'd say he's suffering from a condition no doctor could ever hope to cure,_' the earl said, making me laugh.

The three of them looked at me surprised. 'Oh, great,' the girl then said. 'I never have a clue of what you guys are saying, but the Professor does? That's so unfair!'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Huh… Lord Von Siemens fell asleep?' the man in white asked.

'It certainly seems so…'

'Sebastian,' the earl said. 'Escort the Lord to his room. I'll take my leave as well.'

Was I the only one that saw how the butler looked over at the girl first, waiting for her to nod before he did as his master said?

'Earl,' Lau said, 'you're going to bed already?'

The young earl laughed. 'It's well past bedtime for a child like me.'

The girl shook her head. 'You're only a child when it's convenient.'

The earl frowned. 'Shut up.' Then he raised his voice so everyone present could hear. 'Everyone, please relax and enjoy your evening.' Then he left after his butler, who was carrying lord Von Siemens on his back.

The man in white then walked over to me and the girl. 'We're going to the billiard room. Coming with us?'

I felt the need to ask her if she shouldn't go to bed like the earl, but she just smiled and said. 'Sure. I wanted to ask something to Mr Arthur anyway.'

I jumped as I heard that. 'W-w-what? Y-y-you did?!' I asked surprised.

'Yes,' she said with a smile. 'But not here, please. Let's go to the billiard room. We'll talk there.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'A television series?'

She nodded. 'Yes. Ciel has given me permission to make a pilot for Funtom Studios newest television series, but I totally such at writing. And I like your writing style, so I thought, if you're up for it, I could hire you as scenario writer.'

Scenario writer? Of an actual television series? W-what was I supposed to say?

The girl laughed again. 'Don't worry, I'll give you time to think. You can let me know anytime, if you wa—'

'What's wrong, Lord Von Siemens?!' someone yelled through the house. It clearly was the maid, her voice really travelled far. 'Lord Siemens!'

We all started to run to the hall to see what was going on. I saw the maid and the butler standing there, the maid was madly knocking on the door.

'What's all this noise about?' the man in white, who I now knew was named Charles Grey, asked. 'What's wrong?'

The butler – Sebastian – pulled the maid away from the door. 'I'll kick it down,' he said.

When no one protested, he did as he said.

And as the storm outside raged and lighting lightened the room, we could all see the body over Lord Siemens laying in the chair by the fire place.

I pushed everyone away so that I could reach Lord Von Siemens. I _was _the most educated person on this sort of stuff here, after all. I tried to feel a pulse, but… there was none. 'H-he's dead…'

'What did you say?' Mr Woodley asked.

'No way…' Irene said shocked.

That was the moment the earl entered the room. 'What the hell is going on?' he asked, but then he saw the body. 'Lord Siemens…'

At the time, none of us imagined… No, couldn't possibly have imagined that Lord Von Siemens' death was just a mere prelude of things to come. The rolling thunder and pouring rain were like a blessing performed by the orchestra of demons as the curtain rose on the Phantomhive manor murder case.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**End of part 1**


	63. Extra Chapter 3

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

**I was too tired to read and correct this, but if I make POV mistakes: That's because I'm used to writing through Clarissa's eyes. It's very strange suddenly writing from someone else's perspective even though she's there. It's fun though.**

**Well, then. Enjoy!**

**XxX**

* * *

><p><strong>Extra chapter 3: Book of Murder Part 2<strong>

_Arthur's POV_

'I'm pretty sure,' I said, 'this chest wound is the cause of death.' Even though I hadn't inspected the wound, the red stain in the man's shirt was more than enough to tell me that that was probably the cause of death.

'A-at any rate,' the redheaded man with the opera singer Irene at his arm said, clearly still getting over the shock, 'We better not move anything until the Yard arrives.'

'But… this room's pretty hot, isn't it?' a servant with a cigarette in his mouth asked. The remaining servants and guests had arrived after they heard the noise, just like the earl.

'I heated all the rooms in advance,' the butler Sebastian explained. 'But I suppose he night have been cold.'

'I hate to say it like this,' the same servant said, 'but with this heat, he'll decay in no time. Even if we put the fire out, he won't last long next to the hearth.'

'D-decay?' Irene repeated, sounding terrified.

I sided with the servant, because what he said was right. 'I think we should keep him someplace cool until a specialist examines the body,' I explained.

'Well then,' the girl said, 'we'll move him to the cellar until Scotland Yard arrives. It's not that hard, is it?'

'I agree,' Sebastian told her. Then he turned to the other servants. 'Finny. Baldroy. Please move the body.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When the body was moved, we took away the chair, but stayed in the room to gather evidence and clues.

It was Lau who spoke first, he stood by the window with his sister by his side. 'I doubt the Yard will come for quite a while,' he said. 'I mean, look at this storm. The road to this mansion should be impossible now, the car would get stuck in the mud. This area is completely inaccessible, right now. There's also a good chance that the culprit's still in the manor.'

That seemed to stir everyone up, everyone but the butler, the girl and the earl, who seemed surprisingly calm.

Then Charles Grey spoke. 'But hey,' he said, 'if you think about it logically, wouldn't one of us be the culprit?'

'Why us?!' the man with the red hair screamed. It was clear to me that he was the most talkative of the pair. 'Don't be ridiculous!'

'Yeah!' Mr Woodley added, sounding not as upset, but still quite upset.

'In the first place,' I said in defence of everyone here, 'most of us have only just met.'

'B-b-but when we arrived… wasn't the door locked!' the maid squealed. 'Doesn't that mean that someone came through the window, locked the door to buy some time, then escaped back out the same way?'

'But in this storm,' Charles Grey argued as he walked towards the window, 'wouldn't you leave footprints if you came from the outside? Plus, the window's locked, too.' He tried to open it to prove his point.

'So, they must have locked the door from the hallway, before escaping,' the redheaded man stated.

'That's impossible,' the butler Sebastian said. 'We don't have room keys of any of our guests. Instead, each of your rooms has a latch, which can only be fastened from the inside.' He sat down next to the broken down door and showed us all the lock that was used to lock the door. 'From the way it's broken, it seems obvious that the door was locked before I kicked it down. In other words…'

'You mean… we have a locked room murder!' Lau concluded.

Mr Woodley didn't seem to agree with that. 'That's ridiculous! This isn't some penny dreadful!'

'Yeah,' he earl said with a yawn. I only now noticed he was wearing his pyjamas and another eye-patch than before, this one was less fancy and looked more like something an injured kid would wear, rather than an eye-patch a pirate would were. It was the same kind of eye-patch that the girl wore, I noticed. 'It seem so.'

'Oh, please,' the girl – Clarissa – begged to differ. 'This is the twenty-first century. Locked room scenario's aren't exactly new or clever in any way.' Then she turned to me and smiled. 'Wouldn't you agree, Professor?'

'Ah!' I said, understand it. 'You're right. If he used that trick…'

'Trick?' Lau asked, not understanding.

I wasn't sure how to explain at all, but Clarissa crossed her arms and explained it for me. 'A needle and thread,' she said simply. 'First, you anchor the latch by jamming a threaded needle in its side. Then, you run the thread under the door and step outside. After that, all you have to do is close the door, and carefully extract the needle and thread. It's a cliché trick in novels and movies. I'm surprised no one else here has heard of it before.'

'Ah,' the earl said, now understanding it too.

'I see,' Lau said, understanding it, too, 'you could definitely seal the room like that, but…'

'…doesn't that mean that anyone could be the culprit?' I finished his line before he could. I got worried now. Everyone here was indeed a suspect, as Charles Grey had already stated.

My conclusion wasn't received well. 'It definitely wasn't us!' the redheaded man stated, pulling his Irene closer to him. 'It was one of the others!'

'It wasn't me, either!' Mr Woodley said. 'You're the most suspicious person here! You two were arguing at the banquet!'

'Stop it with the bogus accusations, old man! Who would kill someone over something like that?!'

'Now, now, you two,' Lau said in his always calm voice. 'Why don't we just stay calm and check everyone's alibi's? The Lord was killed after retiring to his room. To be precise, the murder occurred after he rang the servants bell, but before the staff reached his room. So you need an alibi for that time window.'

This calm reasoning seemed to calm everyone down. It was the redheaded man who spoke first, which didn't surprise me. 'Irene and I were in the billiard room,' he said.

'That's right,' Irene agreed.

'I was there, too,' Charles Grey stated. 'And Mr. Phelps, Miss Lane and the Professor were there, too.'

'And none of us left,' I added.

The earl now took it upon himself to ask questions. He turned to Lau and his sister. 'What were you two doing?' he asked them.

'Hm?' Lau said, putting his hand on his sister's head. 'We were drinking in the lounge with Mr. Woodley. Right, Ran-Mao?'

'Yeah,' Woodley confirmed instead of Ran-Mao, who didn't say a word. 'We were together until the disturbance.'

'W-we were all cleaning up after the banquet!' the maid said, defending the other three servants. I was actually surprised to see that there were only four servants. Then again, there was only one earl and it didn't seem like anyone else, besides the girl, was living here. So maybe they didn't need more than that.

Then I realised that there was only one person without an alibi left. 'Which means,' Charles Grey said slowly, turning to the earl. 'I hope you'll pardon the implication, earl, but what were you doing at that time?'

The girl opened her mouth to say something, and by the looks of it she was planning on saying something inappropriate, but the earl covered her mouth with his hand before answering. 'I was sleeping in my room.'

'Can you prove that?' Charles Grey said, almost as if he was singing a song and this was just the next lyric.

'No,' the earl simply stated and I had to admit, I admired his honesty and style.

'So… for now, that makes you the prime suspect,' Charles Grey concluded, making all the guests take a step away from the earl.

'I understand,' the earl said calmly, his eyes closed. 'However, I do not have any reason for killing the Lord.'

'Oooh? Is that sooo?' Charles Grey asked, clearly not convinced.

Even though I wanted to say something, it seemed like I would be disturbing an investigation if I said something now. Charles Grey seemed to be able to handle it perfectly without me.

Lau did say something, though. 'Well, wouldn't you say that if you were the killer? Your company has a branch in Germany, does it not? Couldn't it be a motive that we could not possibly know?'

'Absurd,' the earl said.

'Well, I'd like some insurance,' Charles Grey said, crossing his arms.

'Insurance?' I asked, confused now.

Charles Grey nodded. 'Yes, insurance. Insurance that we'll get out of here alive.'

'What… What do you mean by that?' Irene asked and I could see her hands shake.

'Well,' Charles Grey started to explain as he walked through the room, 'this mansion is currently under the control of the killer, right? And we can't get out until the storm settles down. What if the earl decides to kill us all before the storm settles?'

'How dare you!' the girl screamed, not able to hold it in anymore. 'You're talking about a kid, here! You low, pathetic—'

'Clarissa!' Ciel said sternly. 'Please behave yourself. We don't have time for arguing. It's perfectly understandable that they want some insurance.'

'Well, then. Let's confine him!' Lau proposed.

Ciel just sighed. 'If that makes you feel better, go ahead.'

Even though all the other guests seem to think that was enough, Charles Grey still wasn't so sure. 'If we're going to confine him, it can't be in his own room. Nobles' rooms generally have some kind of secret escape route built in it.'

'Well, then,' Sebastian said, 'we'll keep an eye on him while attending to his…'

'That won't do,' Lau argued as Charles Grey shook his head. 'Seeing as you might help your master escape, right?' He was talking to all of the servants.

'So in other words, it has to be one of the guests who need to stay by his side and watch him,' Charles Grey concluded.

'No, thank you!' redhead screamed. 'Like I'd leave Irene by herself after all that has happened!'

'I… I just can't!' Woodley said.

'And I don't want to, either,' Lau said simply. '_Scaaryy._'

'Well, I don't want to do it either, but someone has to do it, right?' Charles Grey said simply, clearly not liking the idea of being alone with the earl at all.

I tried to think. If you considered the situation, the criminal couldn't be anyone but the earl, but only some idiotic criminal from would commit a crime when there's no one besides himself without an alibi. If he was the criminal… he wouldn't have put himself at a disadvantage right? He could've ordered one of his servants to do something by themselves, creating someone else with no alibi. The earl seemed far to intelligent to commit such an obvious, almost dumb, crime.

I was deep in thought when I noticed that everyone was staring at me. 'Eh, what?' I asked, confused.

'It's up to you, Mr. Wordsmith!' Lau said with a big smile on his face. 'Please watch him carefully so that he doesn't escape!'

'B-But…!'

'I want to be there, too!' the girl then said. 'I'm totally okay with it if the Professor watches him, but I'm not going to leave Ciel alone with a stranger. No. Freaking. Way.'

'Clarissa,' the earl said, clearly annoyed.

'No,' she said before he could say anything else. 'You can't make me leave you alone, Ciel. I won't let you. Awesome author and innocent looking guy or not, I won't leave you alone when there's a murderer on the loose.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

So… why did it end up like this?

'Ugh, this really has become troublesome,' the earl said.

'Indeed,' the girl agreed.

'You have my apologies, Professor,' the earl then said. 'All this needless suspicion has caused you quite the inconvenience.'

He and the girl were sitting at the other end of the bed. It was a gigantic bed, clearly big enough for three people, but it still felt awkward to sleep with two children like this, especially considering that me and the earl were both chained and that the chains walked under the bed to keep one of us from escaping when the other one was sleeping.

'Speaking of which,' Sebastian said, who was kneeling down in front of the two teenagers, taking the earl's bathrobe and helping the girl with her shoes, which apparently were shoes that were 'impossible to take off'. 'Lord Phelps refused to stay in the room next to the crime scene…'

'Ah, I expected as much,' the earl said.

Even though it felt awkward to sit like this, not facing them since I was sitting on the other end of the bed, I was too scared to see them indecent and I also was still hiding me embarrassment.

'Your room was the only place I could escort him to on such a short notice,' Sebastian went on, 'so I brought him there. My apologies.'

'I don't care,' the earl stated. Then he sighed. 'It'll be freezing tonight. Don't let the coal run out in the guests' rooms. Even if I'm not there, make sure to show our guests every hospitality.'

'Yes, my lord.'

'Well then,' the girl said simply. 'Let's get to bed. Ciel, you get in first. I'll feel weird if I lay between you and the Professor.'

I turned around to see that Sebastian stood. 'With that, I bid you good night,' he said. He bowed and left the room with the earl's bathrobe and the girl's shoes, leaving me with only two teenagers.

'Well, then,' the earl said as he got into the bed, the girl following him. It only took a matter of minutes before a calm and somewhat louder breathing told me that the girl had fallen asleep. I wasn't sure about the earl, though.

'Professor…' he said after quite some time. 'Have you gone to sleep?'

He sounded so unsure that it was actually kind of cute. 'Ah, not yet,' I answered. I turned my head so that I would be able to see him, but he wasn't turned the right way. 'Umm…' I said, which made him turn to look at me. 'You two don't even remove your eye-patched when you sleep?'

He looked at me surprised, as if he hadn't expected such a question. 'Ah… yeah…' he answered.

I got up, but only half. 'It might be unnecessary advice, but… you should give it some air, at least when you sleep. That way, it—' I reached with my hand and took the eye-patch off, only to reveal an eye that looked quite off. It wasn't blue, but a darker colour that I couldn't really see because of the light. Was it… purple? I had never seen such a strange eye. Was it made of glass?

Before I could say anything, the earl had grabbed the eye-patch and put it back on. 'I-I got this injury when I lost my family,' he explained. 'So… I don't really want anyone to see.'

Immediately I felt bad. 'I had no idea! Please excuse me!'

'Ssh,' he just said with a smile. 'You're waking her up.' He pointed at the girl lying next to him.

I laid back again, but was only silent for a moment. 'Say, Earl… why does that girl stay with you?' I had to know.

He seemed unsure about what to answer. 'If you'd asked me a few months ago, I probably wouldn't have been able to give you a proper answer,' he started. 'But now I know that her existence has become part of my life. At first, my manor was just a residence for her after her parents had passed away. I hadn't planned on letting her stay here, but before I knew it, she had a place in my life. And I kind of… couldn't without her anymore. I was used to her, so to speak.' A sad smile appeared on his face. 'After my parents died, I was so used to having no one. Being able to let someone into my life again.' He closed his eyes. 'Was kind of nice.'

I had put my hand on his head before I'd even thought about it. This made the earl open his eyes and look at me with a confused look. 'Professor?'

Then I realised what I'd just done. 'P-P-P-PLEASE EXCUSE ME! I-I-I have ten siblings, and, um, one of my brothers is about the Earl's age, so I just—'

'Younger brother?' the earl repeated, still confused.

Oh, no, That came out all wrong. Now it sounded like I was making a fool out of him. 'Um, I'm not talking down to you or anything, I just—'

Then the earl just smiled. 'Let's go to sleep, Professor. Before you really do wake up Clarissa. Goodnight,' he said with a gentle smile.

He didn't mind. Maybe Lau didn't know the earl as well as I thought after all. If Lau knew the earl, he would also know this vulnerable side, this side of the earl that was still a child. After all, the earl was still a child. And could this child really be the murderer? Really? 'Goodnight…'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

It wasn't a surprise that I couldn't sleep. When I turned back a while later to look at the earl, so looked like he was asleep. And wow, such long eyelashes…

'When he's sleeping, he's as cute as any kid his age,' I said, unintentionally out loud. I noticed myself looking at him like how I looked at my own brothers when they were asleep. 'Feels more like 'Ciel', than 'Earl'…'

'Indeed…' a voice from behind me agreed, making me jump and almost fall out of the bed. 'He's quite cute when he's asleep,' Sebastian added, two pillows in his hands.

'Wait a—When did you get back?!' I asked shocked, but mostly embarrassed. Good thing the earl didn't hear…

'You're late, Sebastian,' the earl said.

'E-Earl?!' I jumped, turning back around to where I thought the earl had been sleeping, only to see that both the earl and the girl were awake, sitting up to receive what the butler had in his hands. 'You were awake?!'

I got ignored. 'Hand over the pillow, already,' the earl said, reaching with one hand to Sebastian.

'Huh?' I asked, not understanding what this was about. 'Pillow…?'

'Told you he couldn't sleep without it,' the girl said to Sebastian as she handed him Ciel's pillow and took the other two from him. 'And thanks for bringing me an extra one. The pillows in this house are so thin.'

The butler decided to actually answer me. 'For the time being,' he said, 'you could call it the young master's security blanket.'

'Hardly!' the earl said stubbornly as he fell down on the bed again, this time with his own pillow. 'I just like this pillow.'

Sebastian chuckled. 'Shall I also sing you a lullaby?'

'As if! Go back to your room already!' the earl said annoyed as the girl asked: 'You'd actually do that?'

Sebastian was still smiling amused. 'Pardon me… In that case, I shall return to my work.'

Huh? But didn't Ciel order him to go back to his room…

A soft snoring noise made all of us look at the little boy in the bed.

'Wha—! Already?!' I said surprised.

The girl just laughed and laid back down again. 'Should've brought that pillow to the circus,' he said softly, which for some reason made the butler smile amused. I felt like I missed the joke, but that wasn't my fault.

'Professor,' Sebastian then said, leaning a bit closer and whispering to keep his master from waking up. 'I am terribly sorry for causing you such trouble.'

I looked back at the earl and couldn't keep the smile off my face. 'I don't mind. He's still just fifteen, isn't he? Being implicated in a case like this must be overwhelming.'

The butler now looked at me surprised. 'Professor, you don't believe he's the culprit?'

'That's right,' I said with a nod, sounding confident for once. 'I can't imagine the Earl would ever do such a thing.'

A loud cough arose from the girl, but it sounded more like a laugh being stopped by the pillow than an actual couch. Sebastian ignored it completely, so I did too. Maybe it was a weird snoring-habit the girl had. 'Thank you,' Sebastian said, sounding really glad. 'Professor, I leave the young master, as well as the young lady… in your hands.' I noticed his fingers tightened on the pillow in his arms, but I didn't understand why.

_However_, I thought after a while, _the situation doesn't really allow for anyone but the earl to be the culprit. But I really cannot imagine him being the killer. Are some of the others lying? And if so… who? As for the people who were with me, I can be sure no one left their place… So that would mean… it's either one of the servants who were working together at the time… or Lau, Ran-Mao or Mr. Woodley._

_Those three are really suspicious. But when they met us in the hallway, they were certainly coming out of the lounge. So then the most suspicious ones are the servants…_

_And amongst them, the most suspicious ones are the two that found the body first. For example, if they managed to perform the locked room manoeuvre before we came running because of the noise, what would be their motive? Could they have wanted to pin the crime on the earl and run off together? A butler's life is dedicated entirely to his master, he has to give up everything. This goes for a maid as well, even though those two are so young, they had to give up everything. They wouldn't even be able to get married without their master's consent. Tormented by the thought of their future in love forbidden by their master…? It's the most common plot in Victorian mystery novels… it's not impossible. The butler Sebastian was unusually calm when Lord Von Siemens was found, too. Was it because he's the killer?_

_Then again, I thought the girl Clarissa and the butler seemed much closer than the maid and the butler. But she was with me… maybe the maid was helping them so they could run off? She wasn't chained, she could leave while me and the earl slept. But then why would she want to sleep in the same room as Ciel, if all she was going to do was run off?_

Aah, when did I start some sort of inner monologue to prove the earl's innocence?... But really, I don't get it. Who did it… And why…

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Professor.'

I blinked, but I only saw a blur of colours.

'Professor! Please wake up.'

Now I really opened my eyes and I was able to see the earl's face.

This time, I didn't jump, though. 'Good morning,' I said with an awkward smile, immediately noticed that the girl wasn't in the bed anymore.

'Professor… Something's not right in the manor,' the earl then said. 'It's well past the time Sebastian usually wakes me, but he hasn't come yet…'

'Huh?' No way! They actually… ran off?

There were two knocks on the door before the door opened. Clarissa stood there, shaking and as white as a sheet. 'C-C-C-Ciel,' she said and I heard the tears in her voice that I couldn't see in her eyes. 'C-C-Ciel!' she repeated and this time tears actually did fall from her eyes.

'Clarissa?' the earl asked, now sounding seriously worried. 'Where's Sebastian?!'

She made an awful sound in the back of the throat when he said that name. 'S-S-Sebas…' she started, but she couldn't finish. She grabbed the doorknob, as if she was trying to find strength, but couldn't find it. 'S-Sebastian is… he is… he's… dead.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**Dum. Dum. DUUUMM! Done it before, I know. I just like writing cliffhangers.**

* * *

><p><strong>SnowSongX347: Thanks, I loved writing that part ;)<strong>

**Aqua Lilly: Thanks! Hope you'll like/enjoy it until the end :D And yes, my English is always very goodly.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>


	64. Extra Chapter 4

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

**XxX**

* * *

><p><strong>Extra chapter 4: Book of Murder Part 3<strong>

_Arthur's POV_

We ran to the room, but Clarissa didn't follow us. She just sat down on the ground, as if all the strength had left her body. For some reason, that was more powerful than crying could ever be. As if she couldn't walk, couldn't move without Sebastian.

'Young master…' one of the servants said as we arrived at the room, where indeed the butler was laying on the ground, covered in blood with a wound in his chest.

The Earl just stared at the man in shock, not moving in inch, but breathing heavily. Though that could just as well be from the running. Then he finally spoke. 'Sebas… tian…' Slowly he stepped closer and I was surprised that no one stopped him.

But then someone did stop him. The mad grabbed him, holding him back from the corpse. 'No, you can't! You can't come in here, Young Master!'

'Get off me!' the earl screamed, trying to free himself from the maid.

The maid was stronger, of course. 'Don't! Young master!' the youngest servant said, trying to help the maid.

'Don't order your master around!' Ciel screamed, really upset now. This seemed to work, the two servants let him go.

The earl walked towards the corpse, ignoring the blood he stepped in as he stood still next to the body. 'Sebastian… How long are you going to fool around? The floor can't be that comfortable. How long do you intend to play dead?'

Was this… a child's denial? It certainly looked like it. The earl seemed like a smart guy, he normally would know that his butler was already…

'Young master,' the eldest servant started, but whatever he wanted to say, it was interrupted when the earl put his foot on the man's chest, right next to the wound and the poker that was still in his body, which had most likely caused his life. 'Can't you hear me, Sebastian?' the earl asked and now he seriously started to sound like he was pissed off. 'I told you to get up.'

Then his patience ran out and he grabbed the poker and pulled it out of Sebastian with a lot of unnecessary violence. More blood on the floor and the poker ended on the floor further away, leaving a bloody trail.

'Earl!' I screamed, thinking this went too far, but no one was stopping him and I felt like I hadn't the right to do something.

The earl grabbed the butler's jacket , sat down on his chest as he shouted: 'This is an order! Sebastian, get up this instant!' He shook the butler, but there was no reaction. Of course there was no reaction. Then the earl raised his hand. 'You dare disobey my orders?!' he shouted, slapping the butler in the face again and again and again as he screamed: 'Who said you could die?! I won't allow it, Sebastian! Wake up!'

Then, suddenly, Clarissa grabbed his wrist before he could slap the butler again. I hadn't noticed that she'd come in until she took that action. But I has been so entranced by the reaction of the young earl that I hadn't been aware of my surroundings at all. 'Ciel,' she said slowly, clearly finding it difficult to talk.

The earl looked back at her, his exposed eye round, still clearly in shock.

'That's enough,' she said with a raw voice, a sad smile on her face that made her look more sad than a smile normally would. 'He's already…' She couldn't say it. Even though she had said it before, for some reason, she couldn't say it now.

'…dead,' the eldest servant finished, looking sad, but strangely used to this. He seemed like a man who had lost so many before.

The earl turned back to the butler, this time touching his face gently. 'That can't… be true… You're dead? Sebastian? You, my butler…'

The servants cried and Clarissa, who slowly sat down on the floor besides Sebastian, seemed to cry, too. Her eyes were watery and her hands were shaking.

'…At least you,' the earl continued. '…would be by my side until… the very end…'

He laid his head down, almost pressing his face against the butler's chest, without actually doing it. His lips seemed to shake, or he was whispering something so softly that I couldn't hear it. No matter what, he seemed devastated.

Then Charles Grey opened his mouth. 'If we leave him here, he'll start to rot,' he said, crossing his arms. 'It'd probably be better if we move him.'

'Right,' the eldest servant agreed.

'Let's go, young master,' the maid said, coming closer to the earl to help him away from the corpse.

'No!' he protested, sounding desperate now. 'Let me go! Don't leave me, Sebastian! Sebastian! That's an order!' He grabbed the man's coat and because the maid was still trying to pull him away, he took the head butler's pin off the coat without meaning to. 'That's an order! That's an order!'

Clarissa pulled up her legs now and wrapped her arms around the, hiding her face as she most likely cried.

'Oh yeah…' Lau, who was standing next to me, mused. 'The earl was locked up all night, so he couldn't be responsible for this murder.'

When I looked at him, I saw that he was smiling amused, like this was a really entertaining situation. 'This is getting interesting,' he said and then I realised that I couldn't trust him anymore. I couldn't trust anyone…

But then I looked at the earl, who was standing across the room now, the servants by his side as they tried to calm him down. He was standing with his small back shaking in grief, even so, not once did a tear fall down from his eyes. Did his pride as the master drive him to restrain himself…

…or did this mean that his tears had dried up already?

We didn't move him immediately. We moved Clarissa to a chair in which she just said staring at nothing and the maid and younger servant were taking care of Ciel while I inspected the body. 'There are signs of trauma on his head,' I explained. 'He might have been hit from behind while clearing the ashes.'

'But that didn't kill him,' Clarissa said in a monotone voice that sounded so lifeless that I actually was starting to worry. If only she wouldn't take any drastic actions because of this… 'So they tried again,' she finished.

'So, that means the killed finished him with a poker to the chest,' the eldest servant, who seemed to be pretty experienced with death and murder, added.

Charles Grey crossed his arms again. 'Or they just attacked twice without checking his pulse,' he said. 'Two blows would certainly be more effective…'

Something about the way he said it made it sound very unnerving to me.

But maybe that wasn't it. 'Or maybe…there's more than one killer,' I suggested as I turned back to face the people in the room. 'Even if the blow to the back of his head wasn't fatal, I can't see why they would stab him from the front. In that case…'

'…It's natural to assume there were two,' Charles Grey finished my sentence.

Lau opened his mouth now too. 'With or without an accomplice,' he said, 'I don't sense an ounce of mercy or hesitation. The culprit managed to kill that butler, so they must be pretty—'

'Stop it already!' the youngest servant, the gardener, protested. He was hugging the earl like he was his son, which was strange, especially considering that they were about the same height. 'Talking like that while the young master's here… Please consider his feelings!'

'Finny!' the maid said, not angry as much as shocked. She bowed to the guests in the room. 'Please excuse him!'

'Well,' Charles Grey said, scratching the back of his head. 'He's got a point… We can't stand around this corpse forever. Let's just take it to the basement, for now.'

'You're right,' Lau agreed. 'Haste will get us nowhere.'

Being right seemed to cheer earl Grey up immensely. He smiled brightly. 'It's decided, then! You guys take care of that thing, okay?' he said, smiling brightly as he turned around to walk out of the room. Then he turned around and looked back with a threatening expression on his face. 'Oh and… you better make breakfast, too.'

'They're right,' the earl said when the other guests had left the room. 'Take Sebastian to the cellar,' he ordered. 'I'm sorry for losing my composure.' The he turned his head to Clarissa and knelt down. 'Clarissa,' he said in his serious earl-voice.

'Hm?' she said and it seemed like she was slowly being cured from her zombie-state.

'Sebastian is dead,' he declared. 'As of today, you are my butler. I entrust you with managing the manor and its servants. This pin, too…' He took the pin he'd ripped from Sebastian coat and gave it to Clarissa. 'It's yours now.'

This seemed to really wake Clarissa up. 'The head butler's pin?' she said slowly. 'I'm not sure someone like me can fill the position…'

The earl seemed to have found some of his arrogance again as he said: 'It's just until I find a replacement, don't get any crazy ideas.'

Clarissa closed her hand with the pin and smiled vaguely. 'Understood,' she said with a nod. 'I will keep it safe for you.' Then she shot out of the chair and stood straight and for some reason, she now really seemed like the head butler. 'Then, first, we shall prepare the morning bath. Mei-Rin, fill the tub. Finny, Baldroy, after you two have moved Sebastian, please come to the kitchen for the preparations for breakfast.'

'Yes!' they immediately agreed.

Then she turned to me and bowed. 'Mr Arthur, I'm truly sorry for everything that has happened…'

'It's okay!' I interrupted, not really liking this sudden change in her mood and tone. I felt like one of them was fake, but I hadn't figured out which one yet.

XxX

* * *

><p>'Thankfully, Sebastian made the day's preparations in advance.'<p>

'Smells good!' Charles Grey said, already ready to eat. 'I'm really hungry, so I'm going to—'

'Please wait!' I said. 'That seat is…' I looked at the empty seat across of me, next to Irene. She looked at it confused and a bit scared as well.

'How strange…' she said slowly. 'We're all here, aren't we…?'

'Ah, maybe the staff just got the numbers wrong,' the redheaded man said.

'No,' the earl said, sounding almost angry. 'The one who prepared breakfast was Sebastian. He wouldn't mix up the numbers.'

'Oh!' Irene seemed to realise something. 'Mr Phelps isn't here!'

'Ah,' the redheaded man said. 'He's so quiet, I didn't even notice.'

I shot out of my chair. I couldn't relax like this. '—Excuse me!' I said, way too loud. 'Would you mind… if we go and check…? His room, that is.'

'Well, he refused to stay next to Lord Siemens, so he should be sleeping in mine,' the earl said after a short pause, sounding extremely calm. He stood now, too. 'I'll take you there.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Mr Phelps, if you are there, please answer me!' When I didn't receive an answer, I tried to open the door. It was locked, of course.

I turned around. 'Earl! Where's the key?'

He shook his head. 'I do not know. Sebastian managed the key to my room. No one knows where he kept it except for him. Since he's dead, even I don't know where it is…'

'Move,' someone from behind us said, making all of us turn around to look at Charles Grey, his breakfast plate this in his hand.

We moved as quickly as possible and with a few flings with his sword the door broke down. 'We need to be quick seeing as there's still dessert,' Charles Grey said, with a fork in his mouth.

The earl's room were quite big, but we ignored them and hurried to the bedroom. 'Mr Phelps!' I said as I opened the door.

Only to look down and see the man laying at my feet, with drool out of his mouth.

'Mr Phelps…'

Everyone was silent while we looked at the man, who was obviously dead.

'Why…' was the only thing the earl said.

I inspected the body, but much inspection wasn't needed. 'Rigor mortis has already set in… so he's been here for a while. I don't see any signs of physical trauma like the others, but… ' I saw something on his neck and inspected that further. 'It looks like something pricked his neck…' I thought out loud. 'These are… from a needle?' I looked up at the others. 'Was he poisoned?' I asked, hoping that someone would know the answer.

And then I noticed that Lau and Ran Mao weren't paying attention at all. 'Woaah!' Lau said. 'Earl, you live in such a nice room!' He searched through the earl's clothing closet.

The earl didn't seem to like that. 'Don't just search people's rooms as you please!'

Lau seemed to have found something interesting. 'Hey! You kept the dress I gave you! Did you wear it?'

'Of course not!' the earl said and I could almost smell is irritation. 'Listen to me when I'm talking—'

'They also resemble some kind of bite mark,' I then said, which seemed to distract the earl a bit.

'A bit mark in the neck,' Irene said quite scared. 'It sounds just like Carmilla.'

'Carmilla?' the earl repeated. 'You mean Le Fanu's "the vampire Caermilla"?'

Irene nodded. 'Yes,' she answered. 'Are you familiar with the tale?'

'You're saying he was killed by a vampire?! Don't be ridiculous!' Mister Woodley spat. 'It's the 21th century! That's just absurd! That's unscientific nonsense!'

'Unscientific, huh?' the earl said, but the way he said it confused me. He said it as if he was… mocking someone.

As I stood, I noticed that there was something laying on the floor. Something Mr Phelps knocked over when he died? It was an old, wooden clock. '2:38,' I said slowly. 'He probably knocked it over while afflicted,' I said a bit louder, so everyone could hear.

Ciel walked up to me and looked at the clock that I'd picked up. 'That's the clock I keep at my bedside. I guess he probably fell down when he was writhing in pain… it's broken. Which means… that Mr Phelps died around 2:38?'

I nodded and then turned around to look at everyone here. The servants, as well as Clarissa, though I suppose she was a servant now, weren't here, but I doubt that they would kill their butler. Mr Phelps on the other hand… 'Why don't we take a moment to analyse the situation? We need to go over the time and order of each murder and discuss who had the opportunity.'

'That seems wise,' the earl agreed. I only now noticed that he was only wearing black today. Was this his way to mourn his butler? 'Let's go to the drawing room.'

Wait… this mansion had a drawing room?

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Piecing your testimonies together, we know the first murder was Lord Siemens,' I said. For some reason, I always seemed to be the man who was talking. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. 'Time of death was approximately 1:10 AM. The second was Phelps, at roughly 2:38 AM. Which makes Sebastian the last person to me murdered.'

I looked over at Clarissa, who was sitting between me and Lau and still looked kind of pale, but I noticed that when she arrived, her cheek were flushed red as if she had ran a marathon. She seemed to be okay now, though. I named Sebastian's murder and she didn't even flinch. But maybe she was just a really good actress.

'The butler was last?' Lau asked.

I nodded. 'Yes, that's because…'

The youngest, blonde servant raised his hand as if this was a question in class and he was a student who knew the answer and didn't wait for his teacher to tell him he could speak. 'We all saw Mr Sebastian that night!'

'It was about 2:50,' the eldest blond man added.

The earl seemed confused. 'What did he want at that hour?'

'He asked me to check the food stocks,' he eldest with the cigarette said.

'And he told me to clean the fireplaces!' the young gardener said.

Then it was the maid's turn. 'He brought me a carrier… owl?' She sounded like she didn't get it herself. 'And he asked me to release it at dawn.'

That seemed to confuse the earl even more. 'An owl?' he asked with one eyebrow pulled up.

The eldest answered. 'Owls can fly through storms, unlike pigeons. That guy really knew what he was doing.'

I saw Clarissa rolling her eyes. 'It's the 21th century. Why not use a cell phone?'

'There is no reach because of the storm,' the earl answered.

'That and we are in the middle of nowhere, so no connection isn't that odd,' Lau added.

'Well, what was in the letter?' Charles Grey asked, seeming kind of impatient.

The maid shook her head. 'I don't know. I was supposed to release it without looking and that I did, yes!'

'Well,' I reasoned. 'He might have sent a letter to the police. Since telephones are useless in this storm.'

'With an owl?' Clarissa said, but this time, she got ignored.

I took out my notebook and started to draw. I wrote down everyone's names and the murders in the right order. Then I started to check who had an alibi for which murder while I explained what I was doing. 'If we list everyone's alibis with the timeline, this is what we get.' I held up my drawing and showed it to everyone. 'Lord Phantomhive is the only one who could have murdered Lord Siemens, Sebastian must have killed Mr Phelps, because he had the earl's room key, and was the only one who could lock the door. And then, anyone but the earl or myself could have murdered Sebastian. In other words, not one person could have killed all three victims.' After all, Clarissa could've sneaked out of the room after me and Ciel had fallen asleep.

The earl took a sip of is tea.

'Then, how on earth…' the redheaded started, but he was interrupted by Mr Woodley.

Mr Woodley clenched his hands into fists and said: 'That's enough… I've had enough of this! If it can't be cone person, it has to be the pair who came together!' He pointed at Irene and the man. 'Just get them!'

I shook my head. Such poor reasoning…

But it seemed to anger the redheaded man. 'We're stuck in this awful place, and you're treating us like killers?!' he shouted as he shot up.

'Grimsby!' Irene said, grabbing the man and trying to pull him down. 'Calm down!'

'Yeah,' I said carefully. 'Besides, I'm not saying it's as simple as adding an accomplice…'

'Shut your face!' Mr Woodley shouted. 'I can't stay here another minute!'

The only ones who still seemed completely calm were the earl ad his staff. 'And where to you plan to go?' the earl asked Mr Woodley. 'Given the circumstances, I'd like you to refrain yourself from acting irresponsibly.'

This only pissed Mr Woodley off more. 'I'm acting irresponsibly?! This all started with you!'

Now the earl looked slightly disrupted. 'With me…?'

Mr Woodley seemed to struggle for a little while, as if he was thinking about whether he should say what he wanted to say or not. Then he opened his mouth. 'I know about you,' he said, making me and Irene and the red-headed Grimsby frown. 'You planned everything to kill us off, didn't you?!' he went on, pointing at the earl. 'Queen's Guard Dog!'

The reaction that the earl, as well as the servants and Clarissa had to what he said was subtle and immense at the same time. Clarissa narrowed her eye, but for a second, I thought I saw a purple light coming from behind her eye-patch. The servants looked sort of nervous and the earl looked downright pissed off. 'Woodley,' he said, a clear warning in his voice. 'I told you to sit down. So. Sit. Down.'

'Don't tell me what to do!' Woodley shouted, raising his hand to attack the young earl with his fists, a ring attached to every single finger.

Clarissa disappeared from her spot next to me before I could even flinch and she had Mr Woodley on the ground before anyone could even think about what was going on. She seemed to hold him down with ease, which only confused me more. Clarissa didn't look strong at all, but Mr Woodley seemed like a strong, buff guy. And yet he seemed completely defeated while Clarissa looked as if this was something she could easily handle. 'I'm terribly sorry, Mr Woodley,' she said, sounding not sorry at all. 'While you are in this manor, if you attempt to harm Ciel, no matter who you are or what you are,' she pressed him down a little bit harder and Mr Woodley cried in pain. The rest of us could only watch. '…we servants will not tolerate the offense,' she finished and when I looked up to look at the rest of the servants, they suddenly all looked threatening and actually, a bit scary.

'Please heed my advice,' she said and somehow she managed to put a big smile on her face. She sounded so nice, but her actions weren't all that sweet.

'What the hell is wrong with this place?!' Woodley said in pain. 'Damn it!'

'What on earth was that?' I asked, but I now noticed that I was blushing, but I couldn't understand why. I mean, sure, Clarissa was a charming young lady, but I didn't really fancy such a young lady as her. 'I barely even saw her move…'

The earl took another sip of his tea. 'Clarissa,' he said, way calmer now. 'I think that's quite enough.'

Clarissa pulled a puppy-face. 'But, Ciel!' she whined.

'No,' he said, suddenly stern. He seemed to be the elder one, not her, which was surprising as much as amusing. 'Let him go. Now.'

She pulled a face which seemed like she still wanted to say something, but then she just kept silent and released Mr Woodley. She went to sit back down next to me and I almost jumped as she sat.

'Mr Woodley,' the earl said slowly. 'I trust you'll follow my instructions from now on?'

Woodley nodded.

The earl put his teacup down. 'Well, then… Currently, the professor is the only one who couldn't possibly be the killer. I think having him decide our next move would be both fairest and safest.'

I couldn't quite comprehend what the earl was saying. 'You want me… to decide?' I repeated, slightly confused.

'Yes,' the earl said, as that was obvious. 'How about the rest of you?'

They all agreed with nods and short words.

The earl put his hands together. 'Then, it's settled. After all, we have plenty of time before the rain stops.' Then he smiled. 'We might as well track down the culprit at our leisure. Wouldn't you agree, Professor?'

I got confused when he smiled at me like that. Didn't his butler die today? Why… 'Earl…'

'Yes?' he said with an even wider smile.

I couldn't tell him that this felt off. 'No,' I said. 'It's nothing.' _How could I possibly say… you appeared to me like a devilish imp, enjoying this case as though it were a game. _

In this castle haunted by the eerie presence of a killer, he smiled so innocently, like a child. I don't think I'll ever forget that face. Because with that cruel and beautiful smile he looked like a boy who was just enjoying a game.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**End of the chapter! You know, I wanted to post this Sunday or maybe even Saturday, but it simply didn't work out that way, I'm sorry.**

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><p><strong>SnowSongX347: Ha ha, I guess you'll have to wait to find out whether she knows about the plan or not! But I think we all have experiences that she can be quite dramatic, so maybe she's just playing her part well…<strong>

**Aqua Lilly: Ha ha, thanks! The reason I didn't go for the whole 'horse'-story, is because she needed an excuse for not taking it off during the night.**

**Silent Ninja 93: Ha ha, thanks! Next part is here, hope you'll like it! ;)**

**Rain: Hey and thanks for the compliment! And no, I will still update. As you can see at the beginning of the extra chapter 'these chapters can be posted whenever and don't influence the story's status'. I will definitely finish the murder arc as soon as possible, but for the rest of the extra chapters, they will just be short stories. Some of them well be posted quickly, some will take a while. That's way I have already marked it as 'complete', because the overarching story, is done.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Wow, Book of Murder is going to take way more chapters than I initially thought. So, I hope you guys will enjoy that! Also, clues everywhere! I love clues! And I honest to God think I have forgotten some reviews, but I'm going to sleep now, so... sorry. I guess.**

**Have a nice day, my Sherlock Holmies (Zack and Cody reference, yay. I'm so cool… :/) and see you soon!**

**-xxx-**

**Sofia**


	65. Extra Chapter 5

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

**XxX**

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><p><strong>Extra chapter 5: Book of Murder Part 4<strong>

_Arthur's POV_

'Earl, would you mind guiding us through the manor?' I asked after clearly my throat several times.

'That's fine,' the earl agreed, 'but…'

'Just in case,' I explained, trying to win him over since he still looked a bit hesitant. 'I want to look for your room key, which Sebastian supposedly had in his possession.'

Then I felt Clarissa twitch besides me and she suddenly stood. 'Can I go, Ciel?' she asked, as if there was something of importance she needed to do.

The earl sighed, but nodded. 'I suppose you can, Clarissa, but stay close. We do not want another mysterious murder.' After Clarissa left the room, the earl sighed again, but put the smile back on his face after that. 'Well, then, let's start searching for the key at the obvious place.' He crossed his legs. 'Sebastian's corpse.'

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><p>XxX<p>

The two male servants, earl Grey, me and Ciel went down the wine cellar where we'd put the corpses. They were laying on empty bedspreads, with other bedspreads covering them.

There wasn't any light in the long staircase to the wine cellar, so the eldest servant was carrying a big flashlight and the youngest one had one too. It was an old mansion after all, with its cellar seeming the oldest, since it had less modern improvements than the rest of the mansion. 'With the mood in this place, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw a ghost,' I muttered, more to myself than anyone else.

Earl Grey didn't seem to like that, though. 'D-don't say that!' he sputtered. 'There's no such thing as ghosts! I only believe in stuff you can kill with a sword.' But he grabbed the earl's arm as if he was looking for protection as he said that.

The earl didn't like being touched by hi, though. 'In that case,' he said with a sour look on his face, 'would you mind walking on your own?'

Charles Grey immediately let go of the earl's arm. 'I thought you might be scared so I went out of my way to—'

The two servants, who had gone on ahead while we stood a still talking, were standing at the end of the stairs. 'We're here, everyone,' the eldest said, but it sounded like he was telling us to hurry up. Seriously, why was he smoking indoors? And in the cellar, of all places!

We reached the door and the youngest servant opened it and put the light in de cellar on to reveal three corpses covered in white, laying between rows and rows of wine. I doubted the earl had ever tasted any of it, since he still was so young.

'Well then,' I said as I took two plastic gloves out of my pocket. The eldest servant had given them to me when I asked. Apparently Sebastian used to wear those when he was cooking. I walked to the corpse in the middle, knowing that was Sebastian. Strangely enough, I saw that his hair was wet, while his face was still dry. 'W-wet hair?' I said surprised.

'Oh yeah,' the earl said. 'I forgot we had a leak in here.'

'Oh, yeah!' the elder servant agreed, looking up. 'I remember Sebastian saying something like that, too!'

Well, as true as that may be, wasn't it a bit strange that his face was completely dry? A leak wasn't that precise, was it? And his hair didn't really seem that wet, as if it had been dried or something. Had someone been here before us?

'Poor Sebastian…' the youngest servant said. 'We should move him!'

'You're right,' I immediately agreed. 'If he's wet, he'll decompose more quickly.'

That idea seemed to terrify the young servant. 'De…compose?' he repeated slowly, almost as if he didn't understand the word.

I nodded and turned back to look at the butler and his wet hair. 'Even if we try to examine him, he's rigor, so removing his clothes will be diffic—'

I looked up at the earl to see him staring into the darkness of the wine cellar with his eye narrowed, almost annoyed.

As I turned to look at what he'd seen, I saw a dark figure disappearing in the darkness, the place in the wine cellar where the light couldn't reach.

'A rat,' the earl said. Then he turned back to me. 'You were saying?'

I believed that figure had been way too big to be a rat, but since the door to the cellar had been locked, it seemed like the only logical explanation. 'Er, I said that even if we try to examine him, he's in rigor, so removing his clothes might be difficult.' I scratched at the back of my head. 'Anyway, let's turn him over—'

'Stop it!' the youngest servant than suddenly shouted, running up to us and blocked me from seeing or touching Sebastian's corpse. 'Don't treat Mr Sebastian like that! Mr Sebastian was really important to us and—'

'Finny!' the earl said with the arrogance and power that only a true earl could have. 'Control your prattle, or get out,' he spat to his servant. 'It's distracting.'

Finny stood, nodded and walked over to his elder, who patted him on the head.

'We'll move him later,' the earl then said, ignoring the fact that his servant seemed truly upset. 'First, let's find the key. It's not o his Albert chain…'

'Maybe he kept it around his neck?' Charles Grey suggested.

That seemed like a logical place to keep it. 'Let's take a look.'

XxX

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><p>We didn't find the key anywhere on the body, so we went to the butler's room to check.<p>

His room was on the first floor, above the kitchen. 'This is his room,' the earl said as he opened the door.

There was a small window. A crappy-looking bed that didn't look like it was used very often. Two closets, one big one and one smaller one. A table with a chair and a door that according to the earl leaded to Sebastian's personal bedroom.

'You two,' the earl said to his servants as we all entered the room. 'Don't you guys have any idea about where he kept the key?'

The eldest scratched the back of his head. 'This is my first time in here, so…'

The earl crossed his arms. 'And I've been in twice since assigning his room.'

'Well, for now, let's just look in places likely to have valuables and stuff,' Charles Grey suggested.

We all nodded.

'Let me help,' someone from the doorway said.

I looked to see Clarissa standing there, wearing an outfit that kind of looked like the female version of the outfit Sebastian wore. The only difference was that she'd replaced the pants with a skirt and that she wasn't wearing any socks or shoes. Strange, why wasn't she?

We all agreed though and let her help. She searched through the bathroom and by the table.

Then I noticed that the earl was standing in front of the big closet, almost as if he was considering if he should open it or not. But then he reached with his hand and opened the closet.

Big mistake.

The earl screamed as over twenty cats came out of the closet. Clarissa rushed to the door and closed it before one could escape, but that didn't mean that we weren't still surrounded by cats.

'That bastard was keeping them behind my back!' the earl shouted upset.

Clarissa laughed. 'You mean you didn't know?' she asked, still laughing. 'Way to go, earl! You should know what lives in your mansion.'

Then the earl sneezed loudly. 'My allergies…'

Then Clarissa seemed to realised something. 'Oh, shit! Earl, hide in the bathroom!'

'I can just leave, can't I?' he shouted at her.

'But… the cats will escape!' she protested.

The earl sneezed again and walked towards the door, pushing the cats away with his feet. 'No, they won't.' And then he left the room without saying anything else and Clarissa walked after him, closing the door behind her.

Well. That was odd.

XxX

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><p>For now, we locked the cats up in the bathroom, but the earl didn't enter the room. He kept standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, Clarissa next to him as if she could protect him from his allergies.<p>

'Strange,' Charles Grey said as he finished looking through the last closet. 'I don't see any personal items… where's that guy from, anyway?'

'Beats me,' the eldest said in all honesty, making me frown. 'I don't know anything about his private life.'

Weren't they colleagues? Didn't they talk? That man was really odd.

The servant wasn't done talking, though. 'All we know is that he was an impeccable butler, and exceedingly good at his job.' He shrugged. 'Maybe he came from some special butler school or something.'

'The young master might know something,' the youngest servant told earl Grey, 'but…'

'I don't,' the earl said, leaning against the doorframe. 'Where he came from, what kind of master he served previously, and for what purpose… I wasn't interested. And it didn't matter, anyway. Back then, anyone was fine. As long as they were loyal and could grant my wish.' The earl sounded surprisingly sincere and his face looked kind of sad. Clarissa even laid her hand on his shoulder, as if she wanted to comfort him.

Charles Grey didn't seem to notice that this matter was something personal. 'Back then?' he asked, almost sarcastically, which I did not understand.

I decided to change the subject. I walked over to Clarissa. 'And you?' I asked her. She from the beginning seemed like the person who knew Sebastian best.

'What do you mean…?' she asked confused.

The fact that she was acting dumb now somehow annoyed me. 'Do you know something about Mr Sebastian?'

She crossed her arms. 'As if he'd tell me,' she said. 'The only reason he cared about me was because Ciel ordered him to do so. I know nothing about the man.'

'I understand,' I said with a nod. Then I sighed. 'I doubt the key's here,' I said. 'After all the trouble we've had trying to find it, I don't see how it can be here?'

It did seem to distract Charles Grey. 'That's too bad,' he said, not really sounded troubled. 'All we can do now is…'

XxX

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><p>'So, to see if anyone has the Earl's room key, we'd like to look through your rooms and baggage. Of course, we'll have the ladies check each other's belongings,' I added as Irene looked at me with a worried look.<p>

The group who searched Sebastian's room with me were standing in front of the two benches were Mr Woodley, Lau and his sister, Grimsby and Irene were sitting on (well, Lau and Ran Mao were laying, but that detail wasn't important).

'I understand,' Irene said politely. 'In that case…'

'By all means,' Lau interrupted.

'Knock yourself out,' Mr Woodley added, still a bit grumpy that a teenage girl had defeated him.

We looked through all the guests stuff and after we and the ladies were finished, we still hadn't found the key. It was a true mystery. We all went back to the drawing room and sat down to talk and think about what we should do next.

'After all that, we didn't find it,' I said, sounding almost apologetic.

'In that case, Sebastian must have hidden the key somewhere else,' the earl reasoned.

'Or,' Lau mused, 'the culprit might have tossed it out of the window. It's so small, you'd never find it in this storm.'

'Excuse me!' the youngest servant said. 'I'll look outside.'

'I'll go, too!' the maid said.

The earl looked at them only slightly surprised. 'If found, the key might help identify the culprit, but you guys don't have to—'

'I want to solve this murder!' the youngest servant shouted and it had become more than clear to me that he was the one with the least emotional control. 'I'm not smart like you, so I can't find the killer through reason or logic! But if that key might help solve the case, I want to find it!'

The maid nodded and before anyone could stop the, they ran out. The eldest servant seemed a bit confused about the situation. 'Ah!' he shouted. 'Hey—you guys!' He turned towards the earl when he realised that the other servants were already gone. 'Sorry, please excuse me,' he said to his master before heading out himself.

I turned to look at the earl, but he had a slight smile on his face. Not the smile that creeped me out before, but the kind smile that made me like this child. He smiled like he was thinking of those servants as his family.

The only who ruined the moment was Clarissa. 'I bet all my money that the moment they reach the rood outside they start to cry like little babies and never find anything.'

The earl sighed. 'Those servant will probably be outside of a while, so in the main time let's stay together and try to stay calm.'

Grimsby stood. 'I'm sorry, but can I just grab some stuff for work?' he asked me, not the earl. 'I have a deadline for my script. I'll be right back.'

He was already headed towards the door, but the fact that he'd treated me as the leader gave me the courage to stop him. 'Please wait,' I ordered. 'We don't know the killer's identity, so to avoid more casualties, it would be safest to move as a group,' I explained. That was what the earl had probably meant as well, when he said that we should stay together.

'True,' Lau agreed. 'If the guilty party is among us, that would be best.'

Grimsby didn't sit down. 'What do you mean by that?'

'What do I mean?' Lau asked. 'Exactly as I said…'

Charles Grey understood Grimsby's question, though. 'If they're not among us, where the hell do you think they are?' he asked Lau.

'Do you mean…' Irene said troubled. '… they could be hiding outside?'

The earl crossed his arms. 'They couldn't enter a lock room, or wander in from the storm without leaving footprint all over the manor.'

Lau just smiled. 'And what if there's a thirteenth person, who could make the impossible possible?'

There was a short silence and I noticed that the earl and Clarissa were staring into each other's eye like they were having a conversation without words. Was it just me or did everything suddenly seem suspicious?

Then the silence got broken. 'Ridiculous!' Mr Woodley said, crossing his arms. 'Someone like that could never exist!'

'Never?' Lau repeated, almost innocently. Mr Woodley looked at him with a confused look. 'In this world, it's the idea of "never" that can never be. If someone who could overturn the impossible is hiding in this estate, waiting patiently to pick us off, they may already be at our door.'

Even though I found what Lau said truly fascinating, Mr Woodley did not seem so impressed. 'I'm telling you, there's no way such an outlandish person could—'

At that moment the door busted open and the eldest and youngest servant came running in. The eldest was carrying a bag in his hand that I hadn't seen before. 'Young master! We've captured someone suspicious!'

Everyone in the drawing room gasped.

'Come on!' the eldest shouted to the person who was still standing in the hallway, probably the maid. 'Get in here!'

It was indeed the maid who brought in an older-looking man with a big nose, black hair and a strange colour brown. Almost red. And he was soaking wet and bound with ropes.

We all stared at the man, but it was Charles Grey who spoke first. 'Wha—?! He really does exists?! Where the hell was he—'

I looked over at the earl, who seemed to recognize the man. 'Y-you're—'

I frowned. Why didn't he finish his sentence?

'So this means this man is the killer?' Mr Woodley said, sweat dripping down his face.

Lau smiled widely and slowly stood. 'To think our thirteenth man would appear on his own accord… I'm a little shock, myself.' He walked over to the man and put his hand on the man's shoulder, who still seemed surprisingly calm. 'So, who are you?' Lau asked with a big smile on his face.

Clarissa face-palmed. 'Again with that,' she muttered. But I also noticed that she was blushing and that she looked kind of embarrassed. What was that about?

'My name?' the man asked with a surprisingly nice voice.

'It's been a long time, Jeremy,' the earl said, still clearly not completely over the shock.

'Earl, do you know this old guy?' Lau asked, tilting his head to the side.

The man turned his face to Lau and looked slightly pissed. 'Old guy?' he repeated with frowned eyebrows.

The earl nodded. 'This man,' he said slowly, 'is Clarissa's guardian, Jeremy Rathborne.'

All the eyes went from Clarissa to the man and back again. She made waving gestures with her eyes. 'We aren't related or anything!' she said, as if it would be embarrassing if they were.

Lucky for us, the earl explained a bit more about the man. 'He used to work for the MI6, but he has long retired. He works for me and as a favour, he took Clarissa's custody when her previous guardian died. He's one of my financial advisers, and something of a celebrity.'

We all looked at him and I felt ashamed that I hadn't heard about this man before. Something of a celebrity? To who, may I ask? And that he used to work for the MI6, isn't that something you should keep a secret?

All the other people didn't really seem to care. Some of them actually looked glad, as if they were happy that there was finally a professional here.

'Well then, everyone,' the man said with a stern face. 'Please call me Jeremy.' Then he smiled. But I couldn't help but feel like I had seen that smile before.

XxX

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Part 1 is done! Whoah, that rhymes!**

**I hope I can update soon, and with soon, I mean Wednesday, but if not, it will be Friday or Saturday.**

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><p><strong>Aqua Lilly: Oopsie! I now realise that I forgot to put it in the place where it needed to go! Yikes. Oh, well, too late now. The excuse is that she got the injury when the mansion was attacked and that she never takes of the eye-patch because she doesn't want Ciel to feel guilty.<strong>

**MzAkumaGore: Ha ha, yeah, it did have something to do with him ;) I'm not sure how far I will go and which story arc I will and won't do, so I'll see after I've finished Book of Murder. And I understand you were sceptical, I can't read it back now, even though it was only a few months ago XD. And thanks for the compliment, I appreciate it :3**

**SS-lover06: Thank you! :3 Love to hear that people enjoy it!**

**Jacelover103: Aaw, don't feel bad, I'll feel sad if you feel bad :'( (RHYMING!). And yeah, I would like to do hat arc, but isn't that an all-boys school? Not sure how Clarissa would work out in that story XD Don't think she would like to be a boy XD. But we'll see, I haven't planned much for after Book of Murder, but we'll see. Talk to you soon, one hell of a fan girl ;D (btw you probably already know this, but there's a Mortal Instruments television series in the making :D OH MY GOOOWWDDD)**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**I still feel like I missed reviews. Oopsie…**

**-xXxXx-**

**Sofia.**


	66. Extra Chapter 6

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

**Aaah, I feel like I haven't written in ages! Sorry about that. I'm going to write now. Enjoy!**

**Oh, wait, before we start, I actually wanted to tell you guys that the reason I keep putting '**_Arthur's POV_**' ****before the Book of Murder chapters is before there ****_will _****be a chapter through Clarissa's eyes, but these will be little snippets of scenes throughout the whole story, explaining what she was doing when she wasn't with Arthur. So look forward to that chapter! I'm looking forward to writing it ;)**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Extra chapter 6: Book of Murder Part 5**

_Arthur's POV_

We were still staring at the odd man, who was still tied up with a rope. Tied up pretty good, I might add. I have to admit, that was a skill that I didn't think anyone had in the 21st century.

'You expect me to believe this suspicious guy?' Mr Woodley said, clearly finding this whole situation despicable. He turned towards me, as if he expected me to side with him. 'The thirteenth man is the only one without an alibi for all three murders! It's got to be him!' He pointed at the man.

Even though Mr Woodley was kind of right, Clarissa just laughed. 'Yeah, right,' she said sarcastically.

Jeremy decided to answer Mr Woodley a bit more professionally. 'I fear that you deduction is complete nonsense, Mr Woodley.'

This seemed to startle Mr Woodley. 'H-How do you know my name?'

Well, it didn't surprise me. If what the earl had said was true, he had been an FBI agent. So his powers of decoction should at least me on an average level.

'With all those rings, it was perfectly obvious,' Jeremy answered, proving me right. 'A diamond that large… Plus, that cut was recently developed by the Woodley Company, and requires the very latest polishing machines. And of the Earl's party guests, the one most likely to be wearing such a diamond would be Mr Woodley, President of the Woodley Company.'

Okay… maybe he was a bit better than I'd initially thought… I cleared my throat and made sure that I picked my words with caution when I spoke. 'How did you—No, how long have you been here and for what reason?' I asked, despite my efforts still failing in forming a completely flawless and logical sentence.

'You certainly have a lot of questions,' was his first reaction, but because of the stern tone in his voice I couldn't hear if he was annoyed or not. Then he suddenly turned his head to the eldest servant, who was carrying a small suitcase with him. 'Ah, you there,' he said to the servant. 'Put my bag down, and open it.'

I couldn't see what was in the bag when it got opened, because of where I was sitting, but the maid pointed it out for me. 'That's Mr Sebastian's owl!'

'The bird seemed quite upset, so I have it a sedative. It's asleep now,' Jeremy explained. 'Earl, please read the letter attached to its leg.'

The earl sat down on the ground next to the suitcase and grabbed the letter the owl was carrying. He stared at it with an expressionless face, which kind of worried me.

'Young Master,' the maid said when the earl didn't say anything. 'What was Mr. Sebastian trying to say?'

Just as the maid leaned down in order to read it herself, the earl crumbled the small piece of paper in his hand. 'Apparently, Sebastian foresaw his murder, so he sent this letter to Jeremy.'

'But that piece of paper doesn't prove that he isn't the murderer,' Grimsby argued.

'Ah,' Jeremy said, more amused than annoyed, though again, I couldn't me completely sure. 'Check my coat pocket.'

It was the youngest servant that took this job upon himself and reached with his hand inside the man's pocket. He held a piece of paper in his hand. 'It's a ticket? To the theatre.'

'For what date?' the earl asked.

'Yesterday,' the young servant answered after looking for the date on the ticket. 'It's a same-day ticket for the evening show. The venue and performance were… Lyceum Theatre.'

Jeremy nodded. 'Yes, the program was The Lady of the Lake.'

I looked over at Irene for prove. I didn't know anything about theatre. She nodded. 'That's definitely the program currently showing at Lyceum Theatre.'

Jeremy closed his eyes, almost as if he was trying to see something that wasn't in front of him right now. 'The show ended just after 10 PM. Even if I offered a cab driver to hurry up, because of the storm it still would've taken me at least two hours to get here.'

Lau shook his head. 'A cab? With this storm, the roads would be packed and unmovable. Also, there a big chance that with all this rain, the river would be flooded and the roads would be useless. You'd never be able to get out of London in the first place.'

'There are, of course, other ways,' Clarissa said, crossing her arms.

'Indeed there are,' Jeremy immediately agreed with a smile. 'There are infinite paths to an end, but there is only one truth.'

'So, you couldn't be involved in the murders because you were in London last night,' I concluded, aware of the trust everyone had towards me. They believed me to make the logical conclusions, the logical choices. But would I be able to make those? 'That's the "truth".'

Jeremy chuckled. 'Precisely what I'd expect from a novelist. I'm glad we're on the same page.'

Wait, did he just deduce I was a novelist? 'Huh?' I said out loud, without even meaning to do so.

'It's easy to read a person's profession by studying their clothing and habits,' he explained. 'The callus on your middle finger, the blue stain on your sleeve, that happens in the wash when dye-based ink rubs off on your clothing. Also, you take notes in pencil on the inside of your cuff, so you don't forget your ideas.' I felt kind of inferior now, if I hadn't been feeling like that in the first place. This man could be of far more use than I could be, simply because he was way smarter and way better at deducing. Maybe I could learn from observing him…

'Amazing!' I said, truly meaning it.

Jeremy just smiled. 'Well, people watching is my hobby.' Then the smile faded and he spoke with a more driven tone. 'Well, then! Since, I'm cleared of suspicion, would you mind untying me? This entire manor seems rich with the fragrance of a difficult case that might alleviate my boredom.'

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><p>XxX<p>

Jeremy was freed from the ropes and we explained the situation to him in every detail. I was surprised when the earl said that Jeremy could take place in his chair, even though I did not know why I was surprised. It seemed like I had two different images of the earl in my head that just didn't match. The child Ciel and the earl Ciel. Which was the real one, I wondered.

'I see,' Jeremy said after we'd explained everything. I clapped his hands together. 'That is quite intriguing. First, may I examine the bodies? They speak most eloquently, and they tell nothing but truth.'

I stood, agreed without literally saying the words. 'Well then, let's go down to the wine cella—'

Jeremy held up a hand. 'Stop,' he ordered.

'Huh?' I said, not understanding why he'd stopped me. Also, I should really learn to speak with two words, I kept being very disrespectful.

'Move each individual body to a separate room,' Jeremy said with one finger held up, as if he literally pointing something out. 'The scents of a murder offer important clues. If the victims are kept together, the smells will mingle, as well as the smell of the wine cellar itself. If I have to use my nose, I'd rather smell only the mysteries.'

I wrote down what he said in my notebook, learning more and more every time he spoke.

'Very well,' the earl said before I could agree with the plan. 'I'll have the rooms prepared.' The earl stood and turned towards his servants. 'You three, move the bodies to separate rooms,' he ordered.

They all bowed in agreement. 'Yes, sir!'

'Meanwhile,' Jeremy said as he stood up slowly, a sign that this man was the eldest person in the room. 'Would you mind if I change my clothes?'

'You—,' the earl started, but he stopped before saying more. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, then he spoke again. 'Jeremy, I believe my dead butler's clothes might fit you. I'll take you to his room.'

Clarissa stood immediately. 'I come with you!' she said, as if it was urgent for her. She shot Jeremy a glance. 'I don't trust him completely yet.'

As the three of them left the room, I realised that what Clarissa had just said was a bit strange. She showed complete trust in this man until she said that. Was it an excuse so she could come along? Something wasn't right. The staff, the earl, the girl. They all seemed too perfect and too odd at the same time.

Hopefully, Jeremy could shine some light into this strange situation.

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'Well then, why don't you show me the victims in the order they were killed?' Jeremy suggested, seeming strangely happy now.

'Then we should start with Lord Siemens,' I said. Me, Charles Grey, the earl and Clarissa were the only ones that joined Jeremy for this investigation. The others were together in the drawing room, drinking tea and most important of all, staying together.

We took him to the first room. The earl and Clarissa leaned against the wall of the room as the man inspected the body. I just inspected the man and everything he did, writing everything down. I noticed that for the first time since the first murder, I was having fun as well. But I did feel kind of bad about that.

'Aha,' Jeremy said after a long silence. 'This chest wound is the only external injury. One thrust with a sharp blade.'

'Why now just use a gun?' Clarissa muttered, but no one reacted and it didn't seem like she expected someone to do so.

Jeremy checked Lord Siemens' pockets now and found a pocket watch. 'It seems our man was quite a vicious drinker,' he concluded.

'How'd you know that?' Charles Grey asked, only slightly impressed.

Jeremy showed me and earl Grey the pocket-watch. 'Golden pocket-watches like this one are quite valuable these days, but there are scratches all around the winding mechanism. To do something like this, you'd have to be either an absolute boor or a drunk.' Jeremy turned away from us and focused on the corpse again. 'And this overbearing scent of alcohol… He was drinking strong liquor until the moment he…'

He suddenly stopped talking, as if he'd noticed something.

'What is it?' the earl asked, sounding slightly bored.

Jeremy closed his eyes and lifted his nose, sniffing the air as if it was really important. 'It's faint, but I can smell the ocean,' he said softly, after a short while.

'The ocean?' I repeated. Huh. So smell really _was _important.

I looked over at Charles Grey, but he looked less than impressed.

'Ah yes, professor,' Jeremy then said, looking straight at me. 'Do you have a handkerchief?' He raised his hand as if he was ready to take my handkerchief right this second.

Lucky enough, I had one. 'Oh, yes,' I said, reaching into my pocket and grabbing it for him. 'Here you go.' I handed him the handkerchief.

He immediately turned back to the corpse and opened its mouth. With the handkerchief he reached into the mouth, something I had not expected. I still needed that thing! What was he doing?

He took the handkerchief out of the corpse's mouth and sniffed it. 'Hmm,' he said with his eyes closed. Then he stood. 'Thank you very much.' He handed me the dirty handkerchief back.

And I was stupid enough to take it. 'Ah!' Yikes!

'Well, I believe Mr. Phelps was next,' Jeremy said, like he'd just done a very normal thing.

Great, the second corpse. But first, I had to go and wash my hands.

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'This is the only instance where the killer's method differs,' I explained while Jeremy took a look at the two marks in Mr Phelps neck. 'I believe the wounds on his neck indicate he was injected with poison.'

Jeremy didn't say a word, but he narrowed his eyes. Then he spoke. 'I'd like to see the room in which he was killed.'

'Certainly,' the earl agreed. 'I'll lead you there.'

As we all stood, I noticed that Clarissa still hadn't said a word. 'You okay?' I asked her as we all left the room.

She shrugged. 'Sebastian is dead,' was the only answer I got.

And even though I knew that his death must trouble her, I couldn't help but think that she didn't look troubled at all.

But I didn't want to think about that now. As we walked up the stairs to the earl's room, I decided to focus on Jeremy and his decoction skills. 'With his keen observation skills, Jeremy might pick up on something we missed,' I told the earl.

But then, Charles Grey suddenly stopped walking. 'Huh?' he said, making the earl and me stop too. 'That old guy and your girlfriend aren't not following us, earl.'

The earl twitched. 'She is _not _my girlfriend.'

Then Jeremy finally appeared and at his arm Clarissa. I looked like she was trying to help him walk up the stairs. A small drop was sweat on his forehead told me that we might not have considered the condition of the elder man enough. 'Ah, my apologies,' he said with an apologetic smile, sweeping the sweat away with a handkerchief. 'Let's keep moving,' he said, still holding on to Clarissa as well as the handrails.

'This is why I can't stand old guys,' Charles Grey said annoyed.

But I noticed something completely different. 'Are you telling me you had your own handkerchief?'

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It took Jeremy a bit longer to inspect the room, since this was a bigger deal than a corpse. But he did seem to come to a conclusion. 'There seems to be more than one killer in this case,' he said with a thoughtful tone in his voice.

'So it's true, then…' the earl muttered.

'Lord Siemens's killer should be easy enough to catch,' Jeremy went on, 'but apprehending the one who killed Mr. Phelps might prove difficult. To avoid further casualties, we should catch the second killer as quickly as possible. At any rate, no human could leave in this storm.'

'What do mean?' I asked when Jeremy didn't say anything else and no one else asked for more explanation.

'There are two conditions for catching Mr. Phelps's killer.' Jeremy held up two fingers. 'First, we must wait for nightfall. And the second… is your cooperation, Earl.'

I looked down at the kid earl, but he didn't seem to understand. 'My… cooperation?' he asked.

'Yes,' Jeremy answered simply. 'Your cooperation. I'll explain everything tonight.'

Charles Grey seemed to find this a sufficient answer and wanted to move on. 'Well, the butler's next. Let's go back.'

As we walked back, Charles Grey in the front, I noticed that Clarissa, the earl and Jeremy kept making eye-contact, as if they knew something that no one else knew. But maybe I was getting paranoid. After all, I still believed in the earl's innocence. And the earl trusted Clarissa as well as Jeremy, so I could trust them, too, right?

When we finally reached the room where Sebastian was laying, I noticed that Clarissa had gone as white as a sheet. Not looking as untroubled as she'd looked just a while back.

'I heard the butler was stabbed to death after receiving a blow from behind,' Jeremy said as he walked up to the corpse. 'Ah well, if you'll excuse me.'

Just as Jeremy grabbed the sheet covering Sebastian's corpse, Clarissa grabbed my arm, her hand covering her mouth as if she was going to throw up. 'Clarissa?' I asked worried. 'What's wrong? Are you ill?'

Charles Grey turned around to look at the unwell lady now, too.

'I'm sorry,' she said, her voice shaking. The earl lay a hand on her forehead, but shook his head to tell me that she didn't have a fever.

'Seeing Sebastian like this… it's too much for me to bear,' she said softly, tears dripping from her eyes. I felt her hand shaking as she held my arm.

The earl's eye seemed to soften a he heard this and he lay a hand on the girl's shoulder. 'Clarissa…' he began, not sure what to say.

'_Whaaat?_' Charles Grey said. 'But you were perfectly fine just a minute ago.'

'Yes!' Jeremy said, but it took a while for me to understand that it wasn't Charles Grey he was agreeing with. 'It seems the butler's murder was quite simple.'

We all turned back to the body, but Clarissa still held onto me. I did notice that she wasn't shaking anymore, though. 'You're done already?' Charles Grey asked.

'Yes,' the old man agreed. 'I've seen more than enough.'

Charles Grey sighed. Then is eyes fell on the clock in the room. 'Oh… it's almost time for dinner,' he said. 'I'm going back up, then.'

We all walked out of the room, Charles Grey immediately turning his back, walking away quite slowly.

'I have to prepare for this evening,' Jeremy explained as me, the earl and Clarissa wanted to wait for the man. 'So you three should return without me.'

I nodded. 'Of course.'

We turned around to follow Charles Grey and Jeremy turned the other way to walk to the room that was assigned to him.

Then, suddenly, Charles Grey turned around and started to run back with a speed that was almost inhuman.

'Vatican cameos!' Clarissa screamed as he ran passed us.

I turned to face her. 'Vatican cameos?' I repeated.

The earl sighed. 'That's her way of swearing without receiving a smack to the head,' he explained.

'Shut up, I was just surprised when that man suddenly turned around and started to run like a lunatic,' Clarissa said, crossing her arms. 'It's a Sherlock reference,' she then told me. 'Don't know it? You seemed like a man that would be interested in that kind of thing.'

I wasn't sure what to say, but lucky enough for me, the earl said something before I could answer. 'What's he doing, anyway?' he asked, looking how Charles Grey ran towards the room where Sebastian lay and opening the door to run inside.

'Maybe he is checking if he is really dead?' Clarissa said, clearly joking.

'Well, he _is _a very odd man,' the earl said with a chuckle as both he and Clarissa turned around again and started walking back.

Wait… what just happened?

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'Waaah! I'm stuffed! That was delicious!' Charles Grey said content. 'There was so little grease in today's Salisbury steak, I could've eaten 100! As expected of you, Phantomhive! You use the best meat!'

'Thank you,' was the only thing the earl said.

Jeremy nodded content, seemingly agreeing with what Charles Grey had just said.

Seriously, was I the only one who noticed that this clearly wasn't meat, but soybeans? Ah, well, at least Charles Grey seemed happy. And it somehow felt good to know something that Jeremy didn't. Although he probably did know.

'Well now that we've filled our bellies,' Lau said slowly. 'Don't you think it's about time you stopped stalling and gave us the truth about this case, Mr. Jeremy?'

We all looked at the man, who was still slowly and silently enjoying his dinner. 'No need to be hasty,' he said. 'Before that, Earl, I wonder if you'll indulge me?' he asked the kid sitting at the direct other and of the table.

The earl had a piece of fake-meat on his fork and looked at the man with slight suspicion, but mostly curiosity. 'What do you want me to do?' he asked.

Jeremy now had a smile on his face that was way too amused to trust. 'Well then, earl,' he said slowly. 'Remove your clothes.'

The piece of the fake-meat on the earl's fork fell of as his eyebrows rose. And everyone at the table looked confused at either the earl or Jeremy.

'Wha-WHAAT?!'

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**Ha ha, thought it was a good idea to end here XD Even though I kind of wished this chapter was longer. But I still hope you guys enjoyed it!**

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**TheVillianousNoble: Thank you so much! I'll be sure to check out your stories and I'm so happy I inspired someone! I actually didn't dare to write on here in the beginning, but I'm so happy I did! Keep being amazing!**

**Aqua Lilly: Ha ha, even though there was actually a reason for it in that chapter, most of the time it's just because that's one of my quirks. I'm almost always barefoot because I love feeling the ground under me. It's a bit strange, I know, but I love being barefoot, so she kind of inherited that from me ;)**

**MzAkumaGore: Thank you very, very much! There actually a pretty good reason for why she wasn't wearing shoes, but that will be revealed later! All the other time she wasn't wearing shoes were just because… she doesn't. She doesn't like to wear shoes. Just like her 'mama' (aka: me). Anyhow, thank you so much and I'll be sure to keep that idea in mind! He he, doesn't sound that bad…**

**Guest: No, it was indeed not! ;D**

**SnowSongX347: Thank you! And the real reason will be revealed later ;) Hope you liked the update!**

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**Hey guys, hope you all liked the update. Next chapter will be up on Friday or Saturday, if not, Sunday. I try to update more often, but I get tired very easily and most of the time I'm just too exhausted to write. So yeah.**

**And I always feel like I'm thanking you guys, but I can't stop. You made me want to continue writing and believing me myself more and I love you guys for it! Wish there were more creative ways to say 'thank you', but for now, all I can do is… well, thank you. So, thank you all!**

**-XxX-**

**Sofia**


	67. Extra Chapter 7

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

**Aaaah, so sorry for not writing for so long! School, school, school! But I'm here now, so please enjoy! Sorry if this chapter is a bit shorter, but I had to cut it short for the last Book of Murder-chapter to be perfect. And yes, the one after this one will be the last and boy, that will be a very long one. But, next week I'll be on vacation, so I'm not sure when that will be up. Sorry about that, but because it's the end of the school year, I'm so busy with everything!**

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**Extra chapter 7: Book of Murder Part 6**

_Arthur's POV_

We put Ran Mao, Lau's friend in the earl's clothes and put her in that exact bed. The earl was ordered by Jeremy to not utter a sound, not even tremble.

Me, earl Grey and Jeremy were sitting in the room of the earl, quiet, still waiting. The only one who seemed to be sure of what we were doing was Jeremy, which wasn't a surprise. He didn't tell us anything who he thought the killer might be and he also didn't explain why this was the method he used.

He had said that the culprit would appear again tonight… but would they really return to the scene of the crime?

Then, suddenly, a sound. But it didn't sound like someone approaching, nor did I see anyone entering or leaving the room. The only thing I could hear was that it was getting closer. Whatever it was.

'Out of the way!' Jeremy suddenly scream and Ran Mao threw the blanket onto whatever had tried to kill her just now.

Earl Grey immediately ran towards the blanket with his sword ready, ready to kill the man. First of all, I still didn't understand why that man was carrying a sword. Was that even legal? Second of all, killing him, or it, right away wasn't the smartest idea.

Jeremy stopped him, proving me right. Huh, maybe I was really learning from him. 'That's a valuable witness, I can't have you killing him,' he explained, but was it me, or did he sound a little bit disrespectful?

Now that the culprit was caught, I put on the lights to get a better look. The way the blanket moved with the culprit under it was strange, inhuman. Was this… the culprit?

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'We've brought the killer,' earl Grey said as we were walking into the room where everyone remained. The earl was sitting on the bed with his butler's coat on, since that didn't smell like him. Now I understood much better.

Everyone looked surprised when Jeremy entered, holding a snake in his hands. 'This is the culprit,' he said with a amused smile on his face, clearly liking all the reactions.

'A snake?!' the earl said.

'What! No way!' the eldest servant added.

But the reaction I noticed the most was Clarissa's, she put her hand to her chin and seemed to think about something, then her eyes suddenly widend and she looked out of the window. I saw her lips move quickly, as if she was saying something, but I couldn't hear what she was saying.

I shook my head. Staring at a young lady wasn't appropriate, yet I often found myself staring at her. 'I know it's hard to believe,' I said, more to distract myself than to explain it to everyone else. 'But it really did come after this young lady when she was in the Earl's clothes.'

Ran Mao nodded, agreeing with me.

Jeremy looked down on the snake then and I looked at the knot he made in the snake, so that he wouldn't be able to escape. 'Black Mamba,' Jeremy mused. 'It's a South African viper with a potent neurotoxin. The killer must have primes this snake to target the Earl's scent, training it like an assassin.' His eyes narrowed as the snake turned his head around and around, back and forth, trying to bite the man that was holding him, but lacking the space and strength to do so. 'But in the end,' Jeremy said slowly, 'a snake is a snake. By tracking his scent, it could sneak into the bed, but… It couldn't know if its victim was the Earl or not.'

Then I realised what he meant. 'I see! The killer didn't expect the Eatl to be sleeping in a different room! And on that night, the one using his room was…'

'...Patrick Phelps,' the earl finished my sentence.

Then Jeremy took over again. 'Trained behaviour doesn't break easily. I was sure it would try again, so I stood watch. And sure enough…' He walked over to one of the pots on top of the fireplace and put the snake inside. '…We're lucky this lady fits the Earl's clothes and agreed to be his stand-in. If worst came to worst, you couldn't dodge the snake, could you, Earl?'

'If the Earl died, we'd be in trouble,' Lau said simply. 'Wouldn't we, Ran Mao?' Every time he said that name, he sounded like he sang it.

Ran Mao nodded and walked up to the earl. 'I'm glad you're safe,' she said, hugging him tightly, not noticing that the clothes she wore were indeed a bit too small for her.

Clarissa put a hand against her mouth, clearly to stop herself from laughing.

'Ack!' the earl shouted. 'At the very least put on some pants!'

Then Clarissa finally laughed out loud and gave Ran Mao a little slap on the shoulder. 'That's enough, Ran Mao, you're embarrassing him.'

She did what Clarissa asked her and walked over to Lau. 'Too bad,' was all she said, but I had to admit, the situation was quite funny. I just wasn't in the mood to laugh right now.

And the earl didn't seem to be in such a mood, either. While blushing from ear to ear, he said to Jeremy: 'You had me wear my butler's coat to mask my scent?'

Jeremy smiled. 'Wasn't it immensely convenient that it could cover your whole body?' he said while I took notes of what he said. I really could use this. Maybe I could make a character based on him. Smart, yet strange and mysterious…

The blush on the earl's cheeks faded almost immediately. Now he just looked annoyed. 'You really like having the last word, don't you…'

I didn't quite grasp what he meant, but then something else came to mind. 'More importantly,' I began, 'how he got the snake might be important.' Everyone looked confused, but Jeremy seemed to understand. I decided to clarify myself. 'Transporting venomous snakes is prohibited without permission and permission is almost impossible to get.'

'It was probably smuggled in,' Lau suggested, which would be the most logical theory. 'Using your own resources to transport something like this is faster and easier.'

The earl frowned. 'But… in that case, we have to assume the culprit has connections with African enterprises.'

'Or Africa in general,' Lau added. 'After all, most of the people in this room are rich enough to own a private jet.'

I looked at my book again, thinking with my hand to my chin, just like Clarissa had only a few minutes ago. Oh, God, I really was thinking about her way too much… 'If we're talking about African imports,' I began, distracting myself again, 'there's a lot of stuff. But lately, one of the most transported items are… gold and diamonds…'

Wait… where had I heard those two words before?

I looked up, straight into Mr Woodley's eyes. Then I looked at his fingers, diamond rings on every single one of them.

It didn't take long for everyone to realise, as we all stared at him.

He started to panic, which usually meant the person was trying to hide the fact that he was, indeed, guilty. The question was whether that really was the case or not. 'Y-You're wrong!' he said desperately. 'It's not me! Kong-Rong's in the trading business, too!' he shouted, pointing at Lau.

Blaming someone else. Another thing the guilty often did.

Lau just smiled, staying calm even though he was accused of murder. 'That might be, but unfortunately for you, we don't have any business in Africa.'

Earl Grey, who was leaning against the wall, meddled. 'Either way, concluding it's him just because he does business in Africa seems kind of unreasonable? Like Lau said, almost everyone in this room has the resources to transport such an animal.'

'E-exactly!' Mr Woodley said, relieved and way too loud. 'What about Lord Siemens' murder?' he added. 'I have an alibi for that one!'

Well, yeah, he was right about that…

'There may be little meaning to that alibi, I'm afraid,' Jeremy then said.

Grimsby looked as confused as we all were, though Irene seemed mostly scared. 'What do you mean?' Grimsby asked.

Jeremy waited a while, building tension, before speaking. 'What if the corpse the servants discovered… wasn't actually a corpse?'

Now everyone made a surprised, but mostly confused, sound. 'Er?!'

Jeremy smiled amused, really liking all the different reactions he got. 'Are you familiar with the tonic Juliet drank in Romeo and Juliet?'

But, wasn't that just a story… 'That can't be!' I said.

'Yes,' Jeremy said. 'It actually exists. Recently, scientists have discovered a substance called tetrodotoxin. When purified in a particular way, one can feign death, just like Juliet.'

Wait… I had heard of this before… 'Tetrodotoxin… isn't that a toxin found in blow-fish and octopi?'

Jeremy nodded and I felt somewhat proud of myself when he did that. 'Earlier, when examining Lord Siemens, I detected the smell of the sea…That was most likely purified blow-fish venom. Well then, here's a question… Why would our victim smell of poison when he was stabbed to death?'

The earl did not look pleased as he spat: 'It was a ruse…'

Jeremy held up his finger now. 'Exactly,' he said with a smile. 'After creating a false stab wound on his chest, he drank the poison himself, discarded the vial and faked his death. Most people have no desire to examine a corpse's wounds, so it would work as a short-term trick.' Then, Jeremy was the one who put his hand to his chin in a thoughtful pose. 'But the corpse I examined earlier was most definitely stabbed.'

'So,' Lau said, crossing her arms, 'he only meant to fake his death, but then someone really killed him?' Ran Mao nodded, agreeing with that conclusion.

I frowned now. 'Judging by the circumstances, the culprit may have been trying to frame the Earl.'

The earl looked up at me, confused. 'Me?' he asked and his face looked so cute that I almost forgot all the wicked faces I had seen him make.

'Well, I'm not sure Lord Siemens was involved,' I said. 'He seemed like a man who might lose himself under the influence. Or, the killer might have roped him in by saying, "Let's give everyone a little shock".' I looked up to Jeremy for conformation, but it was the earl who spoke.

'The Lord and I had never met before, so he had no reason to frame me,' the earl said and he sounded kind of sad. 'I think it's safe to assume someone used him to frame me, then silenced him.'

Then, Jeremy finally spoke. 'It truly is… pitiable.' Then he turned back to face Mr Woodley, just like all of us did.

And Mr Woodley was panicking again. 'W-wait! Anyone could have gotten him involved! Everyone else's alibis are worthless, too!'

Again, he was right.

Jeremy put his hand to his chin again. 'Indeed,' he mused. 'But then the same goes for you, Mr Woodley. Humans are dishonest creatures, after all.'

Earl Grey stepped in again. 'But if Siemens drank poison, where's the vial that contained it?'

'That's simple,' the earl immediately replied. 'He could just toss it somewhere we wouldn't look right away. In a fire, for example.'

'Oh yeah,' the eldest servant, who was standing next to the earl, said, looking up as if he was remembering something. 'There was a ton of wood in the fireplace, wasn't there?'

He was right! 'It's true, we wouldn't find it in there… Then, once the dust settled, if he could just sneak back to retrieve it…'

'But, things didn't go his way this time,' Clarissa said slowly. I completely forgot that she was here until she said that. It almost seemed like she had disappeared for a while. 'Because of Sebastian.'

'That must be it!' I realised as I understood what she was saying. 'Before he could dispose of the evidence, the butler came to rake the ashes! If found, that vessel would indicate a ruse… and his alibi would be useless.' It all made sense now! 'So he panicked and killed Sebastian on the spur of the moment,' I went on and I could picture it now, Mr Woodley killing Sebastian, 'before collecting the poison vessel and returning to his room.'

'In that case, whoever has the bottle is the murderer!' Mr Woodley screamed, as if he was saved. 'But I don't have it! You searched through my things and this room thoroughly, right?!'

I only now realised that we were in Mr Woodley's room. What a crazy coincidence…

'Yes, we did,' the earl admitted, closing his eye. Then he opened it again and he smiled wickedly, almost as if he was enjoying accusing this man. 'Except the hearth, that is.'

Mr Woodley now started to look genuinely scared. 'That's a false allegation! It's not here!'

'Then show us!' Grimsby shouted back. 'Prove it's not there!' He walked over to the fireplace and started to look, only spreading ash in the air and making himself cough. But then, he saw something and as I took a step closer, I saw it, too.

'Glass shards…?' I looked back at my book, which wasn't helping me at all anymore. 'But we can't tell what it was…'

Jeremy suddenly walked passed me, pushed Grimsby away and kneeled down, picking up the pieces of glass. 'We'll just have to put the pieces together.'

'That's impossible. It's completely shattered,' I said, but I slowly started to believe that there was nothing this man couldn't do.

And it seemed I was right. 'I'm done,' he said, holding the pieces he put together carefully in his hands.

'Incredible…' I said, knowing now that I could never be the man he was. But that didn't mean I wouldn't try. I looked at the thing he'd put together. 'It looks like a medicinal ampule. Finding it in this fireplace can only mean…'

We all looked at Mr Woodley again, this time a bit more angry than before.

'So, you really are the culprit!' Grimsby shouted. He pointed at the man. 'You murderer!'

'I-I've never seen that thing before!' Mr Woodley sputtered, but the evidence was clear.

It actually made me kind of sad. 'Why on earth would you try to frame a child?' And why on earth hadn't Clarissa attacked him yet? She seemed like the kind of person that would want to kill anyone who tried to hurt Ciel. I mean, didn't she say that before when she tackled Mr Woodley to the ground? Now she seemed awfully calm. Did she know that justice was waiting for him? Or did she know something that completely changed the situation?

'I-I wasn't…' Mr Woodley began.

'Diamonds,' the earl interrupted. 'The leader in the diamond industry, Roze Company, had confidential plans to collaborate with my company and expand into jewellery production. If realized, those plans would certainly damage the Woodley Company, but a few days ago, the Roze company president was killed, and our plans were put on hold. So, while he had the chance, he probably intended to kill me, as well. Or, at least, put me in prison. Quite the ill-conceived plan, really.'

'I didn't do it!' Mr Woodley screamed now, as if he saw what would happen now. 'You've got to believe me! I've been set up! This… This little devil is…' He pointed at the earl now, clearly trying to accuse the earl of something. 'He is… the Queen's Watc—'

Two things happened. Clarissa shot forward to protect Ciel, standing in front of him while Earl Grey put his sword against Mr Woodley throat, forced him to shut up. 'Shut your mouth,' he said, his voice and face wicked and scary. 'I don't need your excuses. We'll have plenty of time to talk while you're in prison.'

'I-I didn't do it! I really didn't!' Mr Woodley sputtered.

'Whatever, just shut up,' earl Grey spat. 'I'm in a really bad mood right now.'

'Earl Grey,' the earl then said, stepping passed Clarissa. 'I have just the thing you need.' He grabbed the chains that had been used to keep us to locked together and gave them to earl Grey. Strange. Where had he pulled those from? Where they already in the room? And if they were, why? Did the earl know everything would become clear tonight? 'Why don't you use it?' he said, but whatever I did, his voice didn't sound innocent or childish anymore.

Mr Woodley was chained and earl Grey leaded him out of the room.

'Let the police take care of the rest,' I said with a sigh, knowing it was all over know. Or rather, hoping it was.

'I suppose this means the case is closed,' Clarissa said, putting her hand on Jeremy's shoulder and leaning against him as if they were best friends now.

'Thank goodness!' Irene said relieved.

'Yeah,' Grimsby agreed.

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We all drank some wine after and when I looked outside, I noticed that it wasn't raining anymore. 'The storm has cleared,' I said with a smile, ignoring the strange feeling I got when my brain thought about how this case was built on way too many coincidences. Also, I didn't like the fact that Jeremy as well as Clarissa had disappeared again.

'Even the heavens are celebrating the resolution,' the earl said, sounding glad.

Well, that was another way of seeing it, of course.

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><p>XxX<p>

_Clarissa's POV_

'I wish someone told me sooner that angels had the ability to change the weather,' I said as I made the rain stop, but keeping the clouds there to avoid suspicion. 'I don't understand why they do have this skill, I mean, what the hell, but it would've been nice to know.'

Sebastian chuckled. 'Oh? I thought you didn't like to put energy into the weather 24/7.'

'I don't.' I sighed and leaned against him, ignoring the fact that he was still wearing the strange mask. At least he still smelled like him. 'Well, it _was _quite a work-out.' I looked up, but the only thing I could see was his chin. 'Aren't you proud?'

He looked down on me and I could see in his eyes that he wanted to say something else than what he said. 'Very proud.' He leaned forward to kiss me, but I had to decline.

'No way, you still look like an old man,' I said, pulling an disgusted face.

He chuckled again, but he didn't say anything else as he watched how I slowly made the clouds disappear.

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><p>XxX<p>

The next morning the police came to pick up Mr Woodley and earl Grey went with the, apparently he worked for the queen, who'd have thought. And all the other guests left, leaving me to leave last.

I didn't feel that well, though. Why was it that the case ought to be closed, still seemed like a mystery? My vision feels like it was shrouded in fog. Like I'm overlooking something vital.

Someone knocked on the window of my cab before he drove away and I looked to see Jeremy standing there, smiling.

I rolled the window down and faked a smile. I still felt troubled. 'Mr Jeremy…'

He crossed his arms. 'Why the long face?' Ah, he saw right through my fake smile. 'We just solved the case.'

Now my smile felt more genuine. 'You were extremely helpful, Mr Jeremy. Thank you very much.' I offered him my hand through the window.

'Likewise,' he said as he shook my hand. 'I doubt we'll meet again, but I wish you well.'

'Me too!' Clarissa appeared behind him with a big smile on her face. 'I really liked meeting you! I hope to talk to you again about business!' she winked.

I nodded. Right. I had forgotten all about that.

Then she waved. 'Thanks for everything, Professor!' she said happily, before joining Ciel, who, like a real earl, stayed in front of his house while watching the guests leave.

But Jeremy was still there. 'Professor,' he suddenly said in French. Wait. _French? _'Thank you for looking after my two young masters.' Then, suddenly, the cab started to drive and I could only watch as they all waved me goodbye.

What was that about? And where had I heard that before?

The butler.

The butler had asked me to look after the two and it would explain why he'd said 'my two masters'. But. No. That wasn't possible. He definitely died. There's no way…

No, wait…

The case was full of inconsistencies. After Siemens was killed, and again the night he himself was murdered… He acted like he knew the future… And what Jeremy just said… Was he referring to that night?

'Stop the cab, immediately!' I shouted.

Too late to turn back now. After the cab had dropped me back off at the mansion I ran back, running up the stairs and slamming against the door, not even knowing if it would open or not. But it did and I saw the earl, Jeremy and Clarissa almost completely up the big stairs in the entrance hall, looking down on me as I walked in breathing heavily.

'I told you!' Clarissa said with a big smile on your face.

She was ignored. 'Why are you so flustered?' Jeremy asked. 'Did you forget something?' That smile again. I had seen that smile before.

'I returned to confirm the truth, Mr Jeremy,' I said, trying to get my breathing under control. Then I shook my head. 'No,' I sputtered. 'The butler, Sebastian!'

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Ha ha, I'm being evil again! But this chapter wasn't as short as I thought it would be, it was actually quite long, so consider that a good thing XD**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**SnowSongX347: Ha ha, I loved writing that part! And thank you, as always!**

**Jacelover103: I actually rather like the casting, I'm curious how well the actors will bring the characters to life, but it looks promising. Valentine finally looks like a man who has two children, I mean God, the Valentine they casted in the movie looked ****_way _****too young! But I'm excited, I like the casting of Clary and Jace, which are too me the most important ones XD I'm not quite sure about Simon though, I rather liked the actor they casted in the movie, but I'm sure this guy will do a great job, too! Jeez, I'm talking way too much again, but yeah. It looks good. Hope it's better than the movie and from the looks of the casting, it will be better. Even though the movie is kind of a guilty pleasure of mine, I still feel like an adaptation could be done so much better!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**See you guys soon, I hope.**

**-xxx-**

**Sofia**


	68. Extra Chapter 8

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

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><p><strong>Aah, end of the school year is almost there! Well, not for me. Still a month to go, but still, it's so close! I'm writing today because I have a party to attend to and homework to do tomorrow and on Sunday a have a party with my church where we celebrate the last mass before summer vacation or something. I don't really know, but there food and people I know so it'll be fun.<strong>

**I said this before, but this chapter will be a lot of random scenes throughout the Book Of Murder story thus far and it'll show you guys what Clarissa was doing when she wasn't with Arthur. So, enjoy!**

**BTW, sometimes the time is a bit different, for example, when Sebastian brings Ciel's pillow, he's technically already been murdered. But I moved his murder to after all that, when Arthur and Ciel are already asleep. There are a few more small things like that, so don't get confused.**

**Also, this is the longest chapter yet! WOAAAH!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Extra chapter 8: Book of Murder Part 7**

_Clarissa's POV_

I waited until earl Grey had 'killed' Sebastian and walked off annoyed before jumping down from the ceiling.

'Ouch. That looks painful,' I said, smiling amused while crossing my arms.

Sebastian just looked at me, still laying on the ground. 'Very funny. Can you please remove it?'

I puckered my lips, then smiled again. 'Why don't you do it yourself?' I asked him innocently.

He just stared at me bitterly, not liking my attitude. 'I'm starting to think that I have a bad influence on you.'

'You do,' I easily admitted. 'But don't worry, I'll never be the monster that you are.' And as I said that, I pulled it out with a fast swoop and Sebastian was on his feet before I had the chance to drop it.

'Don't drop it,' he said, taking it over from me. 'It will leave blood marks on the floor.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Yes, we're trying to win from the Queen and her minions and there is murder and innocent people involved. Let's worry about the blood marks,' I said sarcastically. Then I thought back at the time we found Siemens' body. 'I didn't smell any blood. Does that mean…'

'We need to go and visit the cellar,' Sebastian said, moving on to our next order of business.

He looked ready to go, but as I looked at him with blood everywhere on his face and clothes, I pulled a face that made him look at me confused. 'Are you going like that?' I asked, answering his questioning look.

'Yes, I do,' he said. 'Got a problem with that?'

Well, it wasn't as if it would change anything if I said 'yes'. So I said: 'No, of course not. Let's go.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'Ugh,' I said when I saw Siemens' laying on the ground sleeping with a few empty wine bottles in his hands. 'That man seriously has some issues. And why is it that he has—'

Sebastian lay his gloved finger against my lips, shutting me up. We now both could hear someone's footsteps. Sebastian narrowed his eyes, than he put a hand around my waist and jumped up, hiding us somewhere in the ceiling. I knew that he put us here on purpose, because there was no way I could get away from him here. We were pressed together, and even though I would never admit it, I kind of liked it.

Earl Grey walked in, still looking pissed off. He kicked against Siemens' foot to wake him up and when he did, Siemens looked almost… pleased to see him? 'Oh, Earl Grey! It seems things went well. Were they surprised? When I woke up, there just happened to be wine, so I had a little hair of the dog—'

Before he could say anything else, Earl Grey grabbed his swords and stabbed the drunk man in his chest. As he turned and twisted the sword, he talked with cold tone and in this moment, I found him scary. I knew it was going to be hard for me to pretend like I still had no idea how cruel this man was in the morning. 'Quit blabbing and shut that fat mouth,' he said. 'Obnoxious piece of scum.' He pushed the sword even further in and leaned down, talking to the mean face to face as I noticed that the sword was sticking out at the other end of the man's body now. I actually felt that I was on the brink of screaming, but Sebastian had already put his hand in front of my mouth, keeping me quiet.

'You think you dim-witted Germans can catch up with Britain?' Earl Grey asked Siemens, so was still alive, but I doubted that he would be for long. 'You've tried before, haven't you?' Then he stood again and a wicked smile appeared on his face, his voice got some of its liveliness back, but it was just scary in this situation. 'Well, and that failed miserably,' he finally said, pulling the sword out and dropping the blanket back on the now dead Siemens.

Sebastian waited a few seconds before setting me back on the ground. I only then noticed I was shivering. 'Earl Grey—'

'Yes, I know,' Sebastian interrupted me. 'I told you from the beginning, didn't I?' He narrowed his eyes. 'You're sure that the storm now is enough for the rest of the night?' he then asked.

'Yes,' I answered, trying to calm myself down by talking to him. 'And I also cut of the Wi-Fi and the internet-cable, so I'm doing my job perfectly.'

Then Sebastian suddenly smiled and looked at me with a strange expression in his eyes. He looked almost… proud? 'Yes, you are doing a wonderful job.' And then he pulled me against him, hugging me as he I was frozen and he wanted to warm me up. And, strangely enough, it did help. I stopped shivering within a few seconds, and within a minute I was completely calm.

'Mmm, I love you,' I murmured, not really thinking about what I was saying.

Before I could get embarrassed, he laughed. 'I know.' One of his hands travelled through my hair, exploring it as if it was another world on itself.

'You know,' he said after what seemed like years. 'I really should start preparing the meals for the next few days.'

'I know,' I said softly. 'I'll help.' We both knew that meant that I would just sit there and watch him cook, but he didn't say anything to correct me. Smart demon.

Then he said: 'All fine and good, but be sure to inform the young master of the current state of events before leading him and the professor to the crime scene tomorrow morning. That's the most important thing you need to remember now, okay?'

I nodded against his chest. 'Okay.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'Well then…'

'I don't feel comfortable doing this…'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'Oh? I thought you dreamed of stabbing me every night.'

I rolled my eyes. 'You and I both know that I never really meant any of that.' Then I frowned. 'And you and I both know that, even for you, being stabbed is painful.'

Now he started to look impatient. 'Just do it, Clarissa—' Then he suddenly seemed to have a good idea. He turned around to face me. 'Let's startle Earl Grey for a bit.'

Now he really lost me. 'Hah?'

'Stab me from the front, not from the back. That will at least give me something amusing to look at after laying here still for so long.' He looked confident.

But I still wasn't confident about stabbing him to 'death'. It seemed like a strange thing, to murder your own… yeah… my own… what? Boyfriend? Such a human word seemed really unfitting for a creature like Sebastian. Lover? That was even worse. Then what was he? Just my servant? My slave? My demon? It sounded like neither of those words covered all that he was.

In the end, Sebastian stabbed himself and I left him there, laying for dead on the ground waiting to be found my someone. And that someone couldn't be me. I had other things to do.

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><p>XxX<p>

Arthur was still sleeping as I finished my explanation to Ciel, who put his hand to his chin and thought for a while. 'Hm. So, most likely there will be an audience when I discover the body,' he said.

I smiled. 'Don't worry, I've practiced this so much with you, you should be able to do it.' After seeing his acting skills at Noah's Arc Circus, I had taken the liberty of giving him acting lessons for this mission. Sebastian had played for dead as I instructed Ciel on how to act. However, there wasn't as much teaching necessary as I'd thought. He seemed to be quite good at acting lost and heartbroken. Wonder why…

'Okay,' I said as I noticed that Athur's breath was changing. 'I need to leave now. I'll come and get you guys in about… five minutes. Good luck!' I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

'Thank you,' Ciel said, but it sounded more grumpy than thankful.

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><p>XxX<p>

'Shouldn't you be doing your new job right now?'

'Shouldn't you be laying dead in the wine cellar right now?'

Sebastian chuckled. 'I can't believe that the young master hit me with his rings. That wasn't what we'd rehearsed.'

Now _I _was the one who chuckled. 'Nope, it wasn't. I think he was… improvising.''

He shot me a sour glare. 'And you. You could have stopped him way sooner.'

I laughed. 'I could've. But I didn't.' Then I pulled a face. 'I have to go to the roof in a minute, I feel I'm losing control.'

Sebastian smiled. 'That's okay, I have to get moving to.' He surprised me by leaning forward and pressing his lips against mine in a sweet short kiss before disappearing.

I shook my head as I left the room. Damn, that demon knew what he was doing.

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><p>XxX<p>

'Argh, you're drenched,' I said as I handed him the towel. We were standing in the dark part of the wine cellar, where there was no lighting and only darkness.

Sebastian smiled lightly as he gave me the owl and took the towel, drying his face. Then we heard the familiar voices of the servants and I cursed. 'You're clothes are still wet!'

'No time, no time,' he said as he raced in superhuman-speed to the place where his 'corpse' was supposed to lay.

Then they entered. It was Finnian, Bard, Arthur, Earl Grey and Ciel.

'Well then,' Arthur said, putting on his plastic gloves. As they took of the blanket of Sebastian's body that he'd just put back seconds ago, they immediately noticed he was wet. 'W-wet hair?'

I saw how Ciel show a quick glance at me, but I wasn't sure if he'd seen me. 'O yeah!' he then said, acting all badly again. 'I forgot we had a leak here.'

'Oh, yeah!' Bard agreed, looking up. 'I remember Sebastian saying something like that, too!'

That wouldn't explain why his face was dry, but it was an explanation, so I took it.

'Poor Sebastian…' Finnian said. 'We should move him!'

'You're right,' Arthur agreed. 'If he's wet, he'll decompose more quickly.'

That idea seemed to terrify Finny. 'De…compose?' he repeated slowly, almost as if he didn't understand the word.

Arthur nodded. 'Even if we try to examine him, he's rigor, so removing his clothes will be diffic—'

As he was saying that, Ciel looked back at me and now I was sure he saw me, because he looked at the owl in my hand and went from confused to annoyed. He had asked me not to help Sebastian too much.

I noticed that Arthur noticed and quickly backed down, deeper into the darkness of the cellar. There was a very small chance Arthur had seen me.

'A rat,' Ciel said, also noticing that Arthur was looking. He turned back to face him. 'You were saying?'

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><p>XxX<p>

'There you go. Theatre ticket. Are you happy now?' I showed Ciel the ticket.

'Yes,' he said. We'd both just escaped Sebastian's room after the 'attack of the kittens'. 'But didn't you have any time to put on some shoes?'

'I was soaking wet!' I protested. 'I had to run to London, buy a ticket, sit there for about two minutes before racing out of the theatre, ran back here, changed my wet clothes and sir is complaining about the lack of shoes! You are really ungrateful, you know that?'

He just laughed. 'Yes. Yes. Make sure you give that to Sebastian before the next scene of our perfectly rehearsed play starts. I don't want any mistakes.'

I sighed. Jep, really ungrateful. 'Yessir.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'You bastard! You didn't tell me you'd be appearing in that get-up!' Ciel shouted as we both ran inside Sebastian's room as he quickly changed his clothes.

I laughed. 'You mean he didn't?' I laughed even harder. 'That's a pretty good prank, not gonna lie.'

Sebastian was already gone before either of us could say anything else and so his double-role as both a corpse and Jeremy began…

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><p>XxX<p>

We examined Lord Siemens, then Mr Phelps. I knew what I had to do, so as we inspected the room in which Mr Phelps was murdered, I started to look sadder and sadder and I didn't say a word. Arthur was the first to notice.

'You okay?' he asked while we left the room.

I decided to play my cards I bit more realistically. The Clarissa he'd mad wasn't a dramatic person, so I shouldn't give a dramatic answer. I just shrugged and said: 'Sebastian's dead.'

As we all stood, I noticed that Clarissa still hadn't said a word. 'You okay?' I asked her as we all left the room.

Then I noticed that Sebastian was walking slower than the others so I did the same and stood by him. 'Do you need help?' I asked.

'Actually,' he said with a grin. 'I need to get Mr Phelps body in the room so that there at least a corpse laying under the cover I'm supposed to lay in.'

I pulled a face. I hoped this meant that I didn't have to go out in the rain again.

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><p>XxX<p>

'Huh?' I heard earl Grey say from far above us on the stairs. 'That old guy and your girlfriend aren't not following us, earl.'

I could almost _feel _Ciel's annoyance. 'She is _not _my girlfriend.'

The way he'd said it made both me and Sebastian chuckle as we saw them appear as we walked up. He was holding onto me like he needed support, like a real old man would.

'Ah, my apologies,' he lied with an apologetic smile, sweeping the sweat away with a handkerchief. 'Let's keep moving,' he said, still holding on to me as well as the handrails.

They all seemed to buy it. 'This is why I can't stand old guys,' Charles Grey said annoyed.

But Arthur still looked displeased. 'Are you telling me you had your own handkerchief?'

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><p>XxX<p>

When we finally reached the room where now Mr Phelps was laying, but everyone thought it was Sebastian under those white covers. By now I had gone as white as a sheet and I swear I deserve an Oscar for my acting skills.

'I heard the butler was stabbed to death after receiving a blow from behind,' Sebastian said as he walked up to the corpse. 'Ah well, if you'll excuse me.'

Just as he grabbed the sheet covering Mr Phelps corpse, I grabbed Arthur's arm, my hand covering my mouth as if I was going to throw up. 'Clarissa?' Arthur asked worried. 'What's wrong? Are you ill?'

Earl Grey turned around to look at me now, too.

'I'm sorry,' I said, making my voice tremble. Ciel lay a hand on my forehead, but shook his head to tell Arthur and Earl grey that I didn't have a fever.

'Seeing Sebastian like this… it's too much for me to bear,' I lied soft, fake tears dripping down my face. I made sure my hands were shaking like crazy, sure that Arthur would catch onto that.

Ciel seemed to find this amusing, but he managed to bite back a smile. 'Clarissa…' he began, not saying anything else.

'_Whaaat?_' Earl Grey said annoyed. 'But you were perfectly fine just a minute ago.'

'Yes!' Sebastian then said. 'It seems the butler's murder was quite simple.'

They all turned back to the body, but I was still holding on to Arthur to keep him from noticing that it had all been an act. Though I was relieved that this had worked.

'You're done already?' Earl Grey asked, almost in disbelieve.

'Yes,' Sebastian agreed with that smug smile that was even familiar behind the mask. 'I've seen more than enough.'

Earl Grey sighed. Then his eyes fell on the clock in the room. 'Oh… it's almost time for dinner,' he said. 'I'm going back up, then.'

As we walked out of the room, I tried to keep myself from beating that horrible Earl Grey and kicking him out of the house. Who did he think he was?

'I have to prepare for this evening,' Sebastian explained as me, the earl and Arthur wanted to wait for him. 'So you three should return without me.'

Arthur immediately agreed. 'Of course.'

We turned around to follow Earl Grey and Sebastian turned the other way, probably to do other tasks that needed to be gone. I must admit that I didn't like the feeling I got whenever Sebastian was walking away from me.

Then, suddenly, Earl Grey ripped me out of my thoughts, turned around and started to run back with a speed that was almost inhuman.

'Vatican cameos!' I screamed as he ran passed us. That had been the phrase me and Sebastian had agreed on whenever something urgent or dangerous was happening. Ciel nor Sebastian had gotten the Sherlock-reference of course, but that was probably why they agreed with the phrase.

Arthur turned to me with a confused look. 'Vatican cameos?' he repeated, not understanding it.

Ciel sighed and I had to admit, out of all the things he had to fake, his sighs always sounded pretty legit. 'That's her way of swearing without receiving a smack to the head,' he lied easily.

'Shut up, I was just surprised when that man suddenly turned around and started to run like a lunatic,' I said, crossing my arms. 'It's a Sherlock reference,' I then told Arthur, since Ciel nor Sebastian would ever figure it out. 'Don't know it? You seemed like a man that would be interested in that kind of thing.'

'What's he doing, anyway?' Ciel then asked, looking how Earl Grey ran towards the room where Sebastian lay and opening the door to run inside.

'Maybe he is checking if he is really dead?' I said, saying it so sarcastically that it almost sounded true. Which it, of course was.

'Well, he _is _a very odd man,' Ciel said with a chuckle as both he and I turned around again and started walking back. We couldn't let Arthur come to close to the truth, after all. Or… did we want him to figure it out?

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Me, Arthur and Ciel were sitting in the conservatory, as Sebastian stood behind me and Ciel. We'd just explained everything to Arthur and he still looked baffled. Of course he was. He should be.

'You know the rest,' Sebastian said. 'As Jeremy, I supported the young master, Mr Woodley was arrested, and the young master successfully avoided incrimination.'

Arthur just looked more and more confused. Now he put a hand to his forehead. 'I don't understand,' he said. 'Even after hearing your explanation, this case—No, this whole ordeal makes even less sense. Because, doesn't that mean… If what you say is true… This whole affair was contrived by Earl Grey, the Queen's butler! He had Earl Phantomhive arrange everything, then tried to frame him for the murder. Despite that, you made elaborate preparations with Clarissa and your butler, clearing only yourself from suspicion. Even though you knew Earl Grey was the real culprit, you pinned everything on Mr Woodley, who'd done nothing wrong! The case isn't complicated. The circumstances are extraordinary.'

'Indeed,' Ciel agreed with an amused tone in his voice. He took a sip of his tea before saying: 'But that was unavoidable. It was all as Her Majesty intended, after all.'

Now Arthur looked only more confused. I giggled. 'Just explain, Ciel. The poor man doesn't understand.'

'Very well,' he said with an amused smile. 'Siemens our guest from Germany… As a banker, he was a central figure in Germany's heavy industrial development, and that's no exaggeration. Her Majesty planned to eliminate him, and thus halt Germany's growing strength.'

'By killing one man?' Arthur asked, sounding like he found that hard to believe.

'It's the Butterfly Effect,' I said simply.

It was silent for a while, then Arthur spoke again, asking yet another question. 'But, why would Earl Grey try to put the blame on you?'

I hid a smile behind my cup of tea as Ciel shrugged. 'It's a bit embarrassing, but she apparently discovered a small misconduct of mine. I expected some punishment once it came to light, but I never thought I'd be framed for murder. Her Majesty has quite the sense of humor.' Then his amused smile turned into an arrogant one. 'But I've always excelled at games. I'd invited Woodley a scapegoat, so I simply used him as my pawn.'

This upset Arthur. 'Why use Mr Woodley, when he was innocent?!' he shouted upset.

'He wasn't innocent,' me and Ciel both said at the same time.

'He belong in that carriage,' Ciel added. 'Beneath his public front, Woodley uses the diamond trade to acquire illegal weapons, which he sells to troubled regions or even terrorists. He's a self-styled merchant of death. Then, two weeks ago, the president of the Roze Company, a diamond mining competitor, was murdered. Through my own network, I ascertained that Woodley was the culprit. Members of the underground who use their power to harm those on the surface are in grave violation of our rules. So, I planned to eliminate Woodley, regardless. And that made him the perfect scapegoat.'

I saw the image that Arthur had of Ciel crumble as his face went from confused to downright blank. 'Earl… Who exactly are you?'

'I find those who violate the rules of the British underground and dispose of them,' he explained simply. 'As the Queen's Watchdog.'

Then Arthur started to shake and twitch and I actually got worried for a sec. 'Arthur…?' I began, but then he spoke.

'That can't be true… If everything you've said is true then… He's… That butler can't be…'

Aah, he was talking about Sebastian now. Okay. 'There's nothing more deceiving than an obvious truth,' I said.

'The truth has always been right before your eyes,' Ciel said as Arthur started to look more and more terrified every second.

Sebastian was next to Arthur now and whispered into his ear: 'Yes. The truth that I am not human, that is.'

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><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian chased him out, used fear to make sure he would keep the secret.

'Wait… I can still call him for my pilot episode, right?' I asked.

I got ignored, of course. Now that the case was closed, everything went back to normal again.

'You seemed to be avoiding the topic in front of the Professor, so I didn't say anything, but you haven't explained how Phelps was murdered,' Ciel told Sebastian.

'Ah, that's right,' Sebastian said with an amused smile. Then he turned to me. 'Clarissa?'

I sighed and stood, walked over to the wooden box in the corner of the room and pulled it to the table Ciel was sitting behind. 'Turns out,' I said as I started to remove the chains from the box, 'we had another visitor who wasn't a party guest.'

When I had removed all the chains, I stopped. 'I don't want to open the box, Sebastian…'

He chuckled. 'You captured him. It's your honour.'

I pulled a sour face. 'Well, thanks.' I pulled the box open to reveal Snake, with all his snakes in the box.

'Snake!' Ciel said surprised. 'Why are you here?'

'_The day after Black and Smile broke into the first-stringers tents, everyone disappeared! It's was definitely your fault! So I followed the scent of your costume, Smile! _says Wilde,' Snake said.

'So… you're saying it's my fault for the circus' disappearance?' Ciel said after a long silence, which made what he'd just said inconvincible.

'_Exactly! Ever since you guys joined us, everyone started acting strangely! _says Wordsworth.' Then Snake clenched his teeth. '_I knew that Joker and the others were hiding something from me. But – despite my appearance – they called me their friend! They called me family! You stole them away from me! I'll never forgive that!..._says Wilde.'

Aah, The despair that all of these creatures were feeling now was one I knew well. Only for me, Ciel and his mansion had been my salvation, not my enemy. I closed my eyes, than looked over at Ciel. 'Let me handle this?' I purposely made it sound like he question.

He looked confused, but nodded.

I sat on the ground in front of Snake, who was still sitting on the bottom of the now broken down box. 'The circus you were part of,' I said with my most gentle voice, 'was kidnapping children from each area they toured. To investigate that, we infiltrated the circus.'

I waited for a reaction, which I got. Snake's eyes widen. '_Kidnapping?... You're lying! That's nonsense! _…says Oscar.'

'Nonsense?' I repeated. Yes. Nonsense. Everything in this world seemed to be that way. 'Yeah, you might be right. But nonsense doesn't make it false. We found evidence, Snake, hard evidence. But since their situations were so poor, they're judgements weren't that harsh. We gave them the best option we could give them, a witness protection program. They were working for a very bad man that used this children to do very bad things.' I saw Ciel shiver and hoped that Snake saw it too. 'They are save, and hopefully happy, but… I'm sorry. You'll never be able to see them again.' I closed my eyes, tried to fake a few tears, but I failed and opened them again. 'We never meant to take your family away, we just wanted to save the children who were suffering because of their actions. And I know I speak for all three of us when I say that we want to save you too.'

I knew Sebastian was staring at me and I wish I was able to see what kind of expression he was making, but I couldn't look away from Snake's hypnotising eyes. I reached with my hand, holding it out to him, giving him a choice. 'Snake, come and stay with us,' I said with a smile.

Confusing was the first thing I saw on Snake's face. '_What are you saying?!..._says Keats.'

'Just as I said,' I said softly. 'I want to save you. You've lost people, but we all do. The only think you can do is, meet new people. No one needs to be alone in this world, Snake.'

'Alone,' was the only word he repeated and it was one of the first things I heard Snake say himself, besides the 'says Wilde' or 'says Wordsworth'. Then he grabbed my hand and my smile widened.

I now understood why people lied and why I should always expect to be lied to. That's just how humans are.

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**The end! Woeeeeeh. It's over. Book of Murder is over! From now on, Snake's in the story! Wooohoo! I love him sooo much. Even though I ****_will _****still be making extra chapters, they won't come for a while. I have a lot of stuff coming up, so don't expect anything for me for the next few weeks. I'm sorry and I love you!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Jacelover103: Yeah, but I kind of gave up on people looking like how I imagined them XD, that never works out. But I do understand what you mean, but since television series usually change way more than movie-adaptations, I'm not expecting a faithful adaptation at all. I just hope they do something cool with it. And of course I put up with your rant. Ha ha, you put up with mine ;)**

**SnowSongX347: Yaayy, revealing is here! So sorry that I won't be updating for a while, it's just… hard right now. **

**Guest: Yes, that is what I intend to do from now on, actually. Until I have more time and energy to focus on a real story again, but until then, it will just be random chapters of daily happenings in the Phantomhive Mansion :)**

**MzAkumaGore: Aah, yeah, a jealous Sebastian would be great! Would love to see him getting jealous over Ciel again, but maybe switch it around is a good idea, too. XD**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Well, I think that was all. Sleep tight and see you soon, my lovelies! :3**


	69. Extra Chapter 9

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

* * *

><p><strong>Um. Hi.<strong>

**I have been gone for ****_sooooo_**** long. Way too long. But my little brother suddenly had to get surgery and stuff, so it has been quite hectic for me. Now I'm in France, with terrible WiFi and ****_way _****too many people. But I'll manage. I decided to write a little chapter that doesn't really have anything to do with anything, it's just this characters interacting and doing stuff. I hope I still got it in me after all this time… **

**AAAANDDD I'm really going to do a spin-off for Ella. It won't be long, probably ten chapters or something. But not more than that. Not sure when I'll write that, but I'll let you guys know.**

**Anyhow, you've waited long enough. Here's another extra chapter!**

**BTW, yes people, I know. I'm Dutch. I make stupid mistakes because I literally translate Dutch to English sometimes, so I mess up stuff like 'teaching' and 'learning' and stupid crap like that. I'm sorry if it annoys you, I always try to think about it, but sometimes mistakes are made. I'm sorry, but I'm only human.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Extra chapter 9**

_Clarissa's POV_

'Ladies and gentleman, the guest of tonight is something very special! She is a screen writer, director, actress _and _the mind behind the new, immensely popular television series about a young earl and his demon butler, _Black Butler. _Give a warm welcome to… Clarissa Lane!'

As the audience clapped I stepped on the podium, gave the host a hand and sat down on the sofa.

'So, Clarissa,' he said as he sat down and the audience stopped clapping. 'How are you?'

I gave him my most perfect smile. 'I'm great, thank you. How are you?'

'Marvellous, especially now that you're here! And I need to ask it… How is your boyfriend?' he asked me, leaning forward to me as if that would make the question more secretive.

I chuckled, hiding my mouth as I did, like a true lady. 'Oh, he is doing fine. Still has a hard time getting over the fact that I based a monster of him, but also flattered.'

_I'm not the least bit offended, actually. Although I do wish you'd given me more credit. And you could've cast someone more… well… me, so to speak._

_Stop it, Sebastian. I'm in the middle of an interview._

_I know. That makes this a lot more fun._

The host laughed, leaned back again. 'Well, he should be! Sebastian is perfect! And handsome. Did you ever consider casting _your _Sebastian as the Sebastian of the series?'

Of course not. He was already way too popular as it is. I shook my head. 'No, no. I might believe my Sebastian can do anything, but he is a horrible actor.'

_Well, actually, I'm quite good. But you know that already, don't you?_

_Will you shut up!_

As the audience laughed, I managed to force a smile, hoping Sebastian would shut up now. Then the host decided to ask the question I didn't want him to ask. 'Why a demon? How did that come to you?'

_Shit! Sebastian? Any ideas?_

_Oh, I thought you wanted me to be silent._

_Please, my mind's blank._

Complete and utter silence. That bastard. 'Um, well, actually, Ciel loves stories like that and he told me about some of them and the one about demons always attracted me. Why have a normal butler when you can have a supernatural one?'

_Funny. I thought you were a better liar than this. My mistake._

_Oh, _now _you talk._

The host laughed, but I already forgot what I said to make him laugh. 'I guess you're right! Now, let's talk about that eye for yours…'

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><p>XxX<p>

'I hate you!' I let him know when I left the building. He stood there, with the car ready. I saw the fan girls standing a few yards away, but I tried not to look at them.

'No, you don't,' he said with an arrogant smile. He opened the door. 'Shall we do, my lady?'

Lips pressed together, I sat down in the car. 'You are impossible.'

'Yes,' he agreed. 'But why have a possible butler if you can have an impossible one?'

I laughed a fake and cynical laugh. 'Ha ha, very funny. By the way, if you'll keep talking to me when I'm working, I'll shut you out again.'

I saw how Sebastian's face went a bit disappointed; he didn't want that to happen. But then the smile was back. 'You won't. Even if you truly want to. You won't.'

'Are you sure?' I asked, pulling up one eyebrow.

He chuckled. 'I might be wrong, my lady, but I doubt it.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The one who'd changed the most since the end of the contract between Sebastian and Ciel, was, strangely enough, Ella. She'd spent a long time with the reapers, who realised that she was completely brainwashed and tried to minimize the damage.

I remember when they showed up at the house almost two years ago, with a now fifteen-year old hybrid. I also remember how strange I had found it when Ciel had agreed to let her stay here, without saying anything or whining about anything.

And having her around was wonderful. Even though Will would take her from time to time for training and what not, having another girl here was well… wonderful. Especially since Sebastian slowly had begun to think that he was the only one willing to talk to me.

It was no surprise that when I arrived home, Ella was there to open the door. 'Welcome back!' she said as Sebastian took over my coat. 'Did the interview go well?'

I smiled vaguely. 'Well, we have to wait for the episode to air to find out. Someone kept…' I glared at Sebastian, who just smiled amusedly. '… distracting me.'

Ella only had to see how I saw glaring at Sebastian to know what happened. She chuckled. 'Well, ' she said with a wide smile, 'that can happen. I'm sure it wasn't too bad.' Then she seemed to remember something. 'And Ciel called, by the way. Said that he would be late this evening because the meeting is dragging on.'

I sighed. I wasn't sure if it was normal for an eighteen-year old boy to be so obsessed with his work. And I also knew it wasn't my place to worry. But the thing that worried me the most was; if I won't worry, who will?

Sebastian seemed to notice, because when I looked at him, he had a face so reserved that it seemed unnatural. Then he leaned forward and started to take my eyepatch off, since I didn't wear it at home for obvious reasons. The house staff didn't ask questions and all the others already knew.

Ella, the sweet poor thing, didn't notice anything except for Sebastian's clear actions. 'Always working, our Cici! But hey, as long as he's happy,' she said with a shrug.

'As long as he's happy, huh?' I repeated, looking at Sebastian with a look that he must've understood. _I might be the reason that he's still alive… but is that really such a good thing if he's not happy about it? _

I wanted to ask Sebastian this. I wanted him to comfort me, to hold me and to spoil me until I felt al warm and tingly. But comfort from a demon was never a good idea. Especially a demon who had a rich history with the boy involved.

'Ella,' was what I said when I realised that maybe it was a good idea to stay away from Sebastian for just a little while. 'Would you like to watch a movie together or something?'

'Movie? Nah,' she said, 'but I would love to go outside for a little while. Want to walk through the woods? No need to go far.'

Sebastian understood. Then again, he always did. For a creature so different from a human, he sure knew how to understand my human brain. 'Alright, then. I'll start with the preparations for dinner.' He bowed. 'If you'll excuse me.' He left without handing me my coat back. Oh well. Perhaps I judged him wrong. Perhaps he was fleeing instead of giving me some space.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Say, Ella, how are things going with you?'

'Great!' she said with a smile. 'Ron is learning me all sorts of stuff and Will told me that he'll consider making us a team when the time comes! So that would be wonderful. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing really wrong Grell, it's just…'

'I know exactly what you mean,' I let her know with a grin. Yeah. How could I not now? 'But Junior is nice…'

'Yeah, he is,' she said, sounding slightly awkward. 'Ciel is nice, too.'

I couldn't help it; I laughed. 'I'm not sure how to interpret that,' I said. Then I looked at her and saw that she blushing. And not a little bit. 'Okay, now I really don't know to interpret that!' I told her and I noticed the panic in my voice. Not sure where that came from, though.

Now she was playing with her hair like a lunatic, trying every possible way to cover her face. 'I just think he's really cool and… kind of cute.'

Aah. Of course. She was a teenager, after all. And she'd known Sebastian wasn't an option from the very beginning. And Ciel was good looking. And kind, when he wasn't too busy trying to prove the opposite. I wondered if I would have fallen for Ciel if Sebastian hadn't been so… well, in the way, in a way.

'Yes,' I said after a while. I sounded far away, deep in thought. 'I can't say you're wrong.' But I knew something that I knew I wouldn't be able to tell her. That Ciel might still like me. Now that he was older, he had more restraint and didn't show it as often as he did before, but every now and then… his eyes would look at me with a look that I could only take _one _way. And then you had the moment when he was just touching me and then pulling away as if he'd burned himself.

After a while, Ciel decided to get contacts for his eye and pretended that he'd gotten surgery to fix it. I didn't know why. Even though I asked, he would never answer. And after a while, I stopped asking. Sure that I didn't want to know the answer. Now that his eyes were the same, he'd become more popular under the girls. I didn't understand why. Apparently, there was something wrong with guys with little flaws like that.

Then I realised that Ella had been quiet for quite some time now. And I wasn't talking either. And the silence made me say strange things. 'I think you should go for it.'

That surprised her; she looked at me with her big eyes, clearly confused. As if she'd never thought I'd say that. 'Are you serious?'

I waited for I while. I hadn't been serious. Elizabeth had chased after him for years and that had left to nothing. Only that she started to date Louis Turner, the boy who played the earl in _Black Butler. _He apparently didn't mind a girl chasing him, unlike the person which his character in the series was based upon. I didn't blame Lizzy, though. At least she stayed friends with Ciel.

I hadn't answered Ella yet. I still wasn't sure how I would answer her. The truth would be wise. But then again, Ciel older now, who knew what could happen? 'Yes, I think you should give it a shot.' Yes, she was kind, maybe a bit too loud sometimes, but quiet when she needed to be. And she might've never gone too school, but she wasn't stupid. I doubted Ciel would _ever _date stupid.

Ella looked thoughtful for a second, standing still. Then she smiled. 'Then I supposed I should.'

Oh boy. Now I needed to cross my fingers and hope that Ciel wouldn't break her heart.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'You look stressed,' Sebastian let me know without even looking away from his pans when I came back from my little walk with Ella. Ella had gone back to her room and I had gone to the kitchen, since I wasn't able to remember why I was avoiding him in the first place.

'I look surprised,' I said, sitting down at the kitchen table with a sigh. 'You wouldn't believe what Ella just—' I stopped, not sure if I wanted him to know. Not sure if he didn't know already.

He turned around to look at me, but he didn't say anything. I waited for pressure, for his presence in my head, but it didn't come. He just looked at me. And out of everything he could've done, this was the most confusing. And shocking.

'Um. Could you… stop?' I asked uncomfortably.

He didn't. But there appeared a vague smile on his face. 'Make me,' he said and that was strange, because Sebastian rarely gave orders.

Now I could've just given him the order to stop. But I didn't like ordering him. The weird relationship that we had felt… equal. Ordering him around… would not be equal. Then again, he ordered me around when he wanted to. Hell, he was ordering me around _now._

And I wasn't sure why. But he liked it when I gave him an order. Ciel told me once that he thought he liked it because it hurts, but I doubted that. I liked to believe that Sebastian didn't have a thing for my pain. And if he did, well then, I was doomed.

'Sebastian,' I said sharply when he wouldn't stop.

Then, within less than a second, he was there, before me. He lifted me off my feet and pulled me towards him with an aggressiveness that I would never get used to. My eyes were already closed, ready for his lips. But then nothing came. After a while, I frowned and opened my eyes again, looking into his dark red ones.

'What's wrong with you all of the sudden?' I asked him.

'Do you still have feelings for the young earl?' he then said, after what felt like year of silence.

So that was what this was all about. Sebastian trying to keep his jealousy hidden by acting like an idiot. Well then. At least it was better than acting it out on the house staff. I rolled my eyes. 'Seriously, Sebastian?'

When he kept looking at me with a serious face, I couldn't help but roll my eyes again. 'Come on, dude. If I ever was in love with Ciel, I sure as hell am not now.'

'Funny,' he said, but he didn't sound like he found it funny at all. 'I thought you were a better liar than this. My mistake.'

'Don't repeat your own words!' I told him, struggling to free myself from him without really trying. We both knew that I could easily free myself if I wanted to, but we also both knew that A, I didn't want to accidently hurt him and B, I didn't really want him to let me go.

'Why are you feeling down?' he asked.

'I wasn't feeling down!'

He wasn't buying it. 'Please don't lie to me, my lady. It's not charming or attractive at all.'

Even though this should bother me, I actually had to admit that I didn't mind the feeling of his fingers pressing against my lower back. 'I really don't know what I should say to convince you.' Then I realised that there was only _one _way he could've known what Ella and I had been talking about. 'Sebastian! You were listening again?'

He let one hand slip under my blouse and I shivered as I felt his gloved fingers touching my bare skin. 'Something wrong with that?'

Someone cleared their throats rather loudly, making both me and Sebastian look up at the earl in the door, one eyebrow slightly risen. 'Um… Am I interrupting something?'

I pushed Sebastian away with more success this time, especially because now, I actually wanted to. 'Sorry, Ciel! Sebastian was being silly about…'

Ciel leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. 'About?'

'Dinner and the weather and oh! Look at the time, I really got to go. Work, work, work!' I rushed out of the kitchen, passing Ciel as fast as I could, fleeing the kitchen before it could get awkward. Especially since Ciel had been treating me extremely indifferent since three years ago. It felt strange, like we had a fight and still hadn't made up. Maybe that was how he saw it.

Maybe he hated me. Maybe he only kept me close because that meant he could keep Sebastian.

I closed my eyes for a while, trying to ban those thoughts out of my mind. But I knew already that they would keep coming back.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

After dinner, which always went by way too fast and way too quiet, I retreated back to my room and went to bed with a book. I had some work left to do, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to concentrate. I knew that Sebastian would come back to finish our 'conversation' and I would be waiting for it the entire evening. And any work that I would get done would be horrible.

He came around the time I expected. Ciel went to bed at 10 pm. He was at my door around 10:30. I really did know his routine a bit too well.

'May I come in?' he asked.

I decided to give an easy answer for this question. 'Sure.'

The door opened and closed, but I didn't look up from my book. I heard how he locked the door, but I decided not to say anything about it this time. Even when I felt how he sat down on the bed, I didn't look up. Not even when his hands touched my hair. But when one hand tried to pull up the blanket, I looked up and slapped the hand away. 'What do you think you're doing?'

Now that I looked at him, I noticed a few things. He wasn't wearing his coat. His tie was gone and the first few buttons were open. And he looked at me with the fakest yet most believable innocent face you could imagine. 'Getting in with you?' he said innocently.

I rolled my eyes. 'Not falling for your idiocy, Sebastian. Not tonight.'

The grin that appeared on his face was so annoying that I wish I could just rip his face right off. And kiss it. That too. But that was something that I wouldn't even consider doing. I looked back at my book, ignoring him. 'If that was all you came for, you can leave.'

Silence, except a few soft sounds. Something falling on the floor. His shoes? From the corner of my eye I saw him putting something on the floor. I wasn't sure what and it was driving me crazy. What was that demon doing?

Then the blanket was pulled up again and I could curse myself. I shouldn't have sat in the middle of the bed! This way, it was easy for him to get in!

'If you want me gone, you can kick me out,' he reminded me before sitting down and putting the blanket back.

I never thought it would feel this strangely intimate to sit under the same covers as Sebastian, in the same bed. I never let him go that far. I couldn't. Felt too guilty. Felt too scared. Knew full well that he'd shared the bed with more woman than I'd ever seen. At least, he hinted at that quite often.

'Sebastian,' I said softly as he grabbed my book and out it away. 'What do you want?'

'I won't do anything,' he said, smiling at me vaguely. 'I just thought that, as long as I'm with you, I won't give in to my temptation and rip that kid's head off.'

He didn't have to clarify who he meant. 'Sebastian,' I said, slightly sad now.

'Sssh,' he said, laying a still gloved hand over my lips. 'I won't do anything. Calm down. I just thought… you'd like some… assurance.' Then he looked at the clock. 'Shouldn't you be sleeping?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Yes, mother!' I said.

The light were out before I even moved and Sebastian was already back in bed to smile at me when I realised that the light was off. In the dark, this situation suddenly became even more dangerous.

But I did lay down, pulling the cover up to my chin, making sure that nothing was visible. I didn't trust this. Not at all.

Sebastian lay down beside me, staring at me in the darkness. His eyes seemed surprisingly deep and soft in the darkness and I was touching him. It seemed like I always touched him without thinking. But this time, it was different. I didn't stop when I realised it, I didn't hesitate. I touched his face, his hair. When he started to purr softly, my hand went down, from his cheek to the open buttons of his shirt. I never touched him there. He was always fully clothed.

When I looked up at his face again, his eyes were closed. Completely calm, completely at peace here. With me.

When he moved, it was sudden. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me again his chest. 'I won't do anything more than this,' he assured me, talking into my hair as his lips were somewhere above my ears.

'I know,' I said softly, my lips vaguely touching the bare skin of his chest as I spoke. He had put me in a smart place, right above the first buttoned button. 'Because I'll kill you if you do.'

He chuckled. 'Got it,' he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. But his arm tightened around my waist and I swear that I could feel the other one in my hair.

'I'm not in love with Ciel,' I said after a short silence. Because I knew that was why he was here. Not because he didn't want to hurt Ciel. But because he wanted to confirm that I was his and nobody else's.

He didn't say anything. Maybe he didn't believe me. Maybe he didn't have anything to say.

I put my palms against his chest and pulled myself up a bit so I could look him in the eye. 'I swear, Sebastian, I'm no—'

He pressed his lips on mine before I could finish my sentence. It wasn't a short kiss, I noticed, and it sure as hell wasn't a sweet one. This was his 'I _will_ do more than this'-kiss and even though I was swept away by it for a minute, I had my shit together before he could go too far.

When I pushed him away, I noticed that the damage was on both sides. His shirt was completely unbuttoned now and my nightgown had been pulled up to my hips. He had grabbed my leg and put it around him.

Breathing way too heavy I said: 'You wouldn't do anything more, remember?'

He chuckled, not even breathing slightly differently. 'You seduced me. It was your fault.' But he didn't do anything else, except pulling me against him.

I sighed against his chest, considering pulling my leg back, but when I just kept it there, as a preview for him, but mostly so that I could get used to it. _One day you'll have to, Clarissa. We both know you can't postpone it forever. That and… well, you kind of want to, don't you?_

'Shut up,' I whispered in the dark.

'I didn't say anything,' Sebastian told me dryly.

'Wasn't talking to you.'

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Yeah… I got carried away at the end there. Don't know why. But I think this was about time, I mean, she should be around twenty-something here. Come on, chica, what are you waiting for?**

**Anywho, I know there have been reviews, but my WiFi is really bad and they won't load, so I'm not even sure if this will upload or not, we'll just have to wait and see.**

**Thank you for reading and hope to see you in the future! I'm not sure when and if there will be new chapters for this chapter, but I'm not done writing. BUT, I will be gone until the 29****th**** of August. I know, it's long, but I have stuff to do, so when you will something new, I'm not sure yet.**

**And I'm tired now and I notice that English is getting harder and harder, so I should just stop now.**

**Bye, little demons! Love you!**

**-XxX-**

**Sofia**


	70. Extra Chapter 10

*****This is an extra chapter. Extra chapters can be added whenever and won't influence the story's status. And also keep in mind that I do not nor will I ever own Kuroshitsuji. I know, life is hard. Also, I make typos. Deal with it.*****

**For now, I decided to write a short little chapter, so enjoy! This probably will be the last chapter in a while, since I wanted to take a break from Kuroshitsuji and all that. But first I wanted to give it a proper ending chapter (even though it already ended 10 chapters ago, but you know what I mean) I'm currently writing a new Death Note fanfiction called 'Not a Piece of Cake', so you can go ahead and check that out, though I'm not sure if I like it or not. Maybe I'll stop with that story, it was just because I wanted to write something else.**

**Anyways, enjoy this little chapter. Love you all!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Extra chapter 10**

_Clarissa's POV_

'But, Ciel…'

He shook his head. 'No discussion.'

'Come on, Ciel, you know I don't want to…'

'He's your demon, Clarissa, not mine.'

'But he's your butler!' I protested.

Ciel rolled his eyes. 'Sebastian is coming with you to the fan event and that's final.' He looked up from his computer screen to give me his stern look, almost as if _he _was de oldest one here. 'Do you understand, Clarissa?'

Nope. 'But…'

Ciel interrupted me again. 'Please shut up now. We both know that whining won't do you any good.' Then he looked back to his computer screen, ignoring me as he continued working.

'Okay. Fine,' I said after a shirt silence. 'But if Sebastian's coming, you're coming, too.'

Now he looked up at me with an angry glare. 'Excuse me?' he said, clearly giving me space to change my words.

Which I of course didn't do. He should know by now that I was quite stubborn. 'If Sebastian's coming, you're coming, too. I'm not leaving you alone in this mansion! It's dangerous!'

'Dangerous how?' he asked after sighing. 'I have Mei-Rin, Finnian and Bard to protect me, don't I?'

'Okay,' I admitted, still not convinced. I didn't think Ciel would be in danger if he stayed in the mansion. I just knew that he wouldn't. 'So, you're not going to leave the mansion until we return?'

He sighed and shrugged, looked back to his screen.

'Ciel,' I whined when he didn't say anything.

'I'm not coming with you, Clarissa,' he said, not as much angry as it was annoyed.

'Why won't you come?' I asked innocently.

He smacked his laptop closed. 'Because it's comic con!'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Hello and welcome. How can I help you?'

'Yes, hello,' I said nervously. 'I booked a hotel room…?'

The girl with the friendly brown eyes and gorgeous brown hair looked through the computer when I said my name and smiled. 'Yes, we have your name. Can you sign here, please?' she asked, handing me a piece of paper.

I put my signature down, wondering whether she'd recognised me or not. Then again, she must've seen more celebrities in her life than I ever will, so maybe she didn't really care.

'Thank you very much,' she said as she took back the paper and handed me the key. 'Please enjoy your stay.'

I nodded, not sure what I should say, and then turned around to walk to the elevators. I noticed that no employee offered me help, but maybe that was because a butler-like figure was holding my suitcases.

'I thought you didn't have much to pack,' Sebastian said as we walked up to the elevator, he carrying all the stuff with ease. 'But you somehow managed to pack more than Paris Hilton.'

It was funny how Sebastian got to know the time period more and more, just from hanging around me all the time. I watched television, read stupid magazines and popular books and went to the movies all the time. I think he learned more about the human world this past few months than he had his whole life.

'Oh, shut up,' I shot back at him as we entered the elevator. I noticed that no one was staring at us, which was quite strange. Back home, I couldn't walk around casually without people staring. Whether it was because of me of my absolutely gorgeous butler, I wasn't sure…

'Wait… which floor are we going to?' I asked, looking at the number on the key.

I could almost _hear _Sebastian's eyes roll. 'You never cease to amaze me with your small brain capacity.'

I pushed the '2' button before looking at him as if he'd just spoken Japanese. 'Was that even English?!' I asked, way too loud for the small elevator.

Instead of giving me a actual response, he just smiled. Boy, this was going to be long weekend. 'By the way,' I told Sebastian as the elevator doors opened. 'You'll sleep outside.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'How was the panel?' Sebastian asked me as I walked off stage.

'You tell me, you were here the whole time,' I said as I grabbed the bottle of water he held out for me.

'I especially liked the question about the relationship between Christina and Sebastian,' he said, his eyes glowing. Christina was the name I gave the character that was supposed to be me. She was a lot nicer and she appeared a lot less in the show than I did, though. Since I wanted to keep all the personal stuff out of the show.

And someone had indeed asked when Christina and Sebastian would finally be together. The problem was that, even in real life, I didn't even know. Well, I knew that the moment I let go of the strings Sebastian would take control with no problem whatsoever, but I didn't want to be taken. I wanted this relationship to be equal. Sebastian clearly did not.

'Are we going back to the hotel?' Sebastian asked then as he handed me my coat and bag.

I thought about that for a while. 'Nope. Let's walk around a bit. You got that mask that I asked about?'

Sebastian nodded and handed me the alien mask. 'I assume that you want me to either disappear of wear a mask myself?' he said as I put on the mask.

'Disappear, please,' I answered. 'I doubt a mask could hide your absolutely gorgeous appearance.'

The grin that appeared on his face made me want to roll my eyes. He was arrogant enough. I should stop giving him compliments. But I never meant to. The truth just always came out of my mouth.

Sebastian stepped forward and wrapped an arm around my waste, dragging me towards him. He pressed his lips on my head and said: 'Don't take too long, Miss Lane,' before disappearing. And it was a good thing I was wearing a mask, because I was sure I was blushing all over.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I wish I had come here sooner. I knew that that hadn't been possible in the past; my father would never pay for such a trip, even if it was just in England instead of the United States, but I felt like I could've made so many friends here and so much fun. Now that I was somewhat famous, I couldn't walk around here pretending to be normal. Especially when I happened to hear some 'Black Butler'-related conversations.

'Do you think Christina isn't interested in Sebastian? I mean, sure, they have kissed and stuff, but they never do anything else.'

'Well, maybe Sebastian is the problem? I mean, he seems like a guy who sleeps with women for fun. I would be self-conscious, too, if I were Christina.'

The girls giggled and I rolled my eyes as I walked further away from them. Sure. It was Christina's fault. She was self-conscious. Sure. As if it wasn't the fault of the demon butler who kept playing with her instead of treating her as… well, a girl. That wasn't always the case, of course. It was rather confusing that he seemed so serious about me one moment and then mocked my interest in him the next. I knew that if I hadn't been Clarissa, the hybrid, I would've been swept off my feet already. But I _was _Clarissa the hybrid and he knew that if I wanted to push him away, I could. So he never tried to get closer. But I believed that we both knew that if he tried a bit harder, I would be gone. So, why didn't he try a bit harder? It was obvious that I was in love with him, right? So, even if he used force, it wouldn't be a crime. So… why didn't he do anything?

I knew the answer before I even asked the question. He _was _doing something. I just kept pushing him away, acting coldly. What did _he _think of that? Was he waiting for me or had he already given up?

'Excuse me,' someone asked me, tapping on my shoulder. 'But aren't you Clarissa Lane? I recognise the dress from the panel.'

Oh. Shit.

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><p>XxX<p>

'Don't look at me like that.'

'I wish I'd been there.'

I rolled my eyes. 'You _were_ there. You dragged me away while everyone was screaming and fainting.' I crossed my arms and looked out of the window of the cab, trying to block his voice out.

Which I of course couldn't. 'I can't control the reactions I get from humans, can I? That's no reason to be mad. You _wanted _me to help. You said so yourself.'

I sighed and turned my head to look at him, when I suddenly froze. How the sunlight fell now and how he was looking at me made me want to freeze this moment and keep it forever. He looked beautiful. He looked like he loved me.

When I didn't say anything, but just stared, his smile faded. 'What is it? Why are you staring at me?'

I kept silent for a while before answering. 'You know,' I said slowly. 'I really do love you.' It was more to convince myself than to convince him.

He smiled smugly, but there was also a hint of true happiness in that smile. 'I know.'

I rolled my eyes again. 'Oh, do you?' I asked sarcastically.

That made him laugh, but it sounded kind of fake. 'Yes, I do. No surprise, really. You say it quite often.'

_But you don't_, I answered in my mind, not willing to say it out loud. I sighed again, thinking about this whole day. Sebastian shouldn't have come with me. Or I shouldn't have come at all. But, for some reason, winning an argument if Ciel was the one I was up against always seemed impossible to me. I couldn't win from him. Quite annoying really. The only real argument I'd ever won from him was the one regarding his life. Pretty sure he was still upset about that.

'What are you thinking about?' I asked, knowing that Sebastian would ask that exact question if I didn't say anything soon.

He shrugged, didn't answer with words. Maybe it wasn't interesting enough. Maybe he didn't want me to know.

Then, I held out my hand, almost as if I was asking for money or something. When Sebastian looked at me, slightly confused, I sighed and grabbed his gloved hand, removing the glove before holding his hand. 'No one thinks that tattoos are suspicious these days,' I assured him before pocketing the glove. The I closed my eyes, thinking that if I didn't look, I wouldn't be as scared. 'By the way, Sebastian-' I stopped, hesitant. What I was about to say could change everything. Or maybe it wouldn't. Maybe I was wrong. But I didn't think that I was.

His thumb made circling movements over my skin as he said: 'Hmm?'

I kept my eyes closed, trying to keep my breathe under control. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd already guessed what I was about to say. 'Remember when I said that you had to stay outside of my hotel room?' I asked, my voice sounding surprisingly okay. Not as if I was about to say something incredible stupid.

'Of course I do. You said that less than twenty-four hours ago.' Did I hear some sarcasm in his voice? He was harder to read when I couldn't see his face. Well, that was obvious, but I wanted to see his face, but I didn't want to _look _at his face.

'Well, I…' I sighed, opened my eyes, but didn't look at him. I stared in front of me. 'You don't have to. You can stay.' I swallowed. 'With me.'

There was a long silence. A long silence in which I refused to look at him. Was he moved? Confused? Did he think it was funny? He probably thought it was funny. He would smile amused and then he would assure me that I wouldn't be able to run away.

He chuckled. I had been right. He chuckled. I looked over at him. 'What?' I asked when I saw he looked at me amused, but not like was making fun of me.

'You're cute,' he told me, before looking out of the window. The rest of the ride, I was too surprised to speak.

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><p>XxX<p>

'Wait, wait, wait! I changed my mind! Get out!' I tried to push him off me, but of course, since I didn't really want to, I didn't succeed.

Sebastian was leaning over me on the bed, a few strands of his hair fell in his face as he gave me a smug smile. 'That's not very nice now, is it? First you seduce me and then he kick me out of the room.'

'I did _not _seduce you!' I said, sounding a little breathless for some reason.

'Hmm, but you did,' Sebastian told me, leaning a bit closer so his breath stroke down on my face as he said: 'Your whole existence seduces me.'

I put my hand to his face, trying to push it further away. 'Sebastian! This isn't funny!' I told him, sputtering to get him off me. Put I couldn't find my strength. He knew what that meant as well as I did. I didn't really want him to move.

'Naturally not,' Sebastian told me, grabbing my wrists with one hand, leaning over me with the other. 'Actually, I'm annoyed.'

'Annoyed?!' I repeated, almost shocked, as Sebastian put my hands down.

'Hmm, yes,' he answered. 'Does that surprise you?'

I sighed, but immediately regretted that. Maybe my breath smelled bad. And I just blew all my stinky breath in his face! 'No, not really,' I said, turning my head to the side so that I wouldn't blow my breath in his face. 'But can't you see that I'm annoyed, too?' I looked back at him then, the bad breath forgotten. 'You're _old, _Sebastian,' I explained, his face looked almost angry when I said that. 'And I have absolutely no problem with that, believe me, but you are a _demon._ And an experienced one at that… And don't try to deny it, we both know what you've done with Beast.'

He sighed and now I could see his annoyance clearly. 'Are we talking about _Beast_ now?'

I swallowed hard. 'Not necessarily, but I don't understand why you would want to... ehm… do that to me. There are a lot more people in the world, people with experience who won't reject you over and over again…' I knew what I was doing. And I saw in the look in his eyes that he did, too. I was trying to get him to say that he loved me. That wouldn't happen, right? He wouldn't.

Then he smiled amused, because he got what this was all about. 'Well, let me tell you this. Out of all the people in the world – with or without experience – you're the most interesting one. And I was wondering, what kind of facial expressions you would be able to make, just for me?' Then he leaned in and kissed me, giving me no time to respond to his words.

But I _did _respond to his kiss. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer and suddenly it seemed like I had my strength back, because I managed to roll him over so that he was below me. I felt like the winner in that one moment, but then he broke the kiss, smiled smugly and attacked my neck and he tangled his hands in my hair, rolling us over again.

'No fair,' I said breathless. 'Can't I take the upper hand for once?'

He chuckled in my neck, which tickled. 'Don't you always have the upper hand, miss Lane?'

I didn't fall for that. 'Pfft, what's that for bull—' I couldn't finish my sentence because Sebastian had brought his mouth back to mine. And there was nothing more to say.

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><p>XxX<p>

I'd expected Sebastian to respect my privacy and leave the room before I woke up, but when I woke up he was laying there, his eyes closed and his face relaxed. Not good. He probably wasn't asleep, I mean, duh, but I wasn't sure if he knew that I was awake. I looked at the clock. Wow. I hadn't slept this long in a very long time. Interesting.

No, no, no. No time for that. Where was my dress? I wish I could wrap myself in the blanket so that I could move around without shame, but since Sebastian was laying under the blanket as well, I couldn't just take it off. That would make this situation much more embarrassing.

I sat up and looked around. Spotted my dressed on the chair in the corner. Geez, how far did he have to throw that thing? Had he been afraid that I would grab it and put it back on if it was too close? I found my underwear a bit closer, on the ground next to me. I wanted to grab it without getting out of the bed, but that proved to be harder than I thought. It was just a tiny bit too far away.

'What _are _you doing?'

I almost fell out of the bed, but a hand grabbed my arm, keeping me in place. I turned to look at the demon next to me, his eyes open and his face amused. 'Don't fall off,' he said, way too late. Then he let go of my arm.

'You were awake?' I asked, the stupidest question of the century.

He chuckled. 'Am I ever not awake?'

'Can you not answer a question with a question?' I asked, crossing my arms.

'Sure,' he said, simply listening to me without me having to order him.

I pulled up my eyebrows. 'So you're actually listening to me now?' I asked cynically.

He had his eyes closed again, but the smug smile remained on his face. 'Do I ever not listen to you?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Ah, geez. Never mind, then. Keep your eyes closed,' I said sternly while slowly getting out of the bed.

Sebastian said something, but it was so fast and soft that I wasn't sure if I'd heard it right. It sounded like 'so cute', but I was quite sure he hadn't said that.

Since Sebastian didn't seem to open his eyes any time soon, I decided I could just as well take a shower now that I was add it. But I loved to go to the bathroom _with _clothes. Coming back into the room in only a towel didn't seem like the right move right now. 'Where's my suitcase?' I softly asked myself as I looked over the room.

'Here,' Sebastian answered and when I looked over I saw that he still had his eyes closed. And he was pointing at the floor at his side of the bed. Damnit.

I slowly moved to his side, my eyes on his face. Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed like his smile got wider with every step I took. 'Don't look!' I ordered as I knelt down next to the bed and opened my suitcase, taking out the first items of clothing I saw. Then I almost ran over to the bathroom. 'You can look now!' I screamed from the bathroom and I could hear his laugh echo through the hotel room.

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><p>XxX<p>

**Yeah. This happened. Not sure if it was a little bit too OOC or not, but I think I'm kind of happy with how it turned out.**

**Anyhow, love you all and hope you enjoyed these extra little chapters. Maybe there'll be more in the future, but don't expect those any time soon. Hugs and kisses!**

**-xxx-**

**Sofia**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>


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